Confess To Me…

Chapter Five
Being a Vampire
 Chapter Five Part One
Got to Be Joking!

“WHAT!?!?”I border line screamed.

“Isaac, Professor Vein, your Sire and my father are all the same
person.” I stared at him, my jaw wide open. It took me a moment before I
even realized what I was doing, naturally I shut it immediately. The more I
looked at him the harder it became to deny. He had Isaacs build… and jaw…
and incredibly captivating Black eyes. His skin tone was somewhat lighter but
those eyes… there was no denying those eyes belonged to a son of Isaac.
I smiled and laughed lightly. “I don’t know why I didn’t notice sooner.” I
said to myself. “You… you kind of look like him.” He wasn’t quite as tall, but
he was just as beautiful. All the students here had this romantic kind of soft
beauty, where as all the teachers had this fierce kind of dominant beauty. A
daring, harsh beauty that made you catch your breath every time you looked
at them. It made me dizzy just to watch them. But Sky… he seemed more
grown up, older perhaps. I wasn’t sure.
“Well, I suppose it can’t be helped then, Sky is free to meddle in his
fathers life however much he wishes.”
“Until Isaac says otherwise” I corrected him. I started walking and they
soon feel into step beside me. “The truth is that he might not tell me at all.”
Matthew shook his head, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “You are our
future queen; he cannot with hold information from you.”
“Not if I order him to tell me.” I sighed. “But I have no intention of
doing as much. His life is his own. Just because I choose to share my life with
him does not mean he has to reciprocate.” I smiled to myself. “I trust Isaac
will do what is best for our relationship. If he tells me it is nothing to worry
about, then I’ll believe him. After all, what is a relationship without trust?”
“A divorce waiting to happen.” Sky chimed in. I smiled at him as he
smiled back. Smart ass humor, I like it. Matthew took my hand in his and
entwined our fingers together. I didn’t mind, actually, it made me happy. It
wasn’t a loving action, or a sexual one, it was a comfort thing. I was so use to
steering clear of human contact, and now that I was finally embracing it… I
couldn’t get enough.
“So what’s the deal with you two?” Sky asked. “I thought you were
with Isaac.”
“I am.” I confirmed. “What Isaac and I have is very complicated, as is
what Matthew and I share. You know that Isaac is my Sire, and Matthew… he
is my favored king of the guard. He’s pledged himself to me… and I to him.
It’s his job to protect me, where better to protect me than from my left hand
side?”
“Your right hand side.” Matthew said firmly. I smiled ruefully.
“My right hand side will always be reserved for Isaac. No one could
ever replace him, no matter how wonderful they are.” He smiled; the newly
formed scars on his cheek stretched tight. It was a fake smile. I could see the
defiance in his eyes. He no longer believed himself wonderful, for he no
longer held his irresistible beauty. I would have to live with that look for the
rest of eternity, but worst of all, I’d have to live with knowing it was my fault
that it was there.
It wasn’t long before we made it to the infirmary. “Is it just me, or am I
spending way too much of my free time here.” That one earnt me a low
chuckle from Sky, Matthew remained his stony soldier self and stuck like glue
to my side. I heard talking from half way down the hall and signaled for both
of them to hush. The closer to the doors we got the louder the talking got. I
signaled for them to stay put as I moved forwards. Matthew didn’t like it, but
he wasn’t about to argue with me when I was already in a cruddy mood.
I crept up towards the door, and found it slightly ajar. I peered in to see
Isaac and Darious, standing over… I gasped. But luckily, neither of the blood
drenched men seemed to notice. The two of them were standing over a
young girl’s body. Darious held a scalpel in his hand as Isaac… Isaac held the
body open. That was the only way I could describe it. The girl’s ribcages were
split open and Isaac held them apart as Darious… I was going to hurl.
I turned around. Matthew saw what I assumed was a mixture of panic
and disgust and rushed to my side. He held me up but couldn’t resist a look
through the door. I heard a wet squelching snap sound. That was the end of it
for me. I was out in a matter of seconds. Well, at least I didn’t puke.

I awoke to find Matthew keeping guard of me as I slept. I smiled at

him, what else would I expect him to be doing? Sky was no where to be
found, or at least, that’s what I thought until I rolled over and came in contact
with a very warm, very real vampire body. Sky slowly opened his eyes and
smiled at me.
“Morning Gorgeous.” He said in that oh so playboy voice, to bad that
playboy voice was coated in something all too familiar.
“Hey morning breathe.” He frowned at me and rolled out of the bed, I
assumed to go brush his teeth. “God, what time is it?” I asked.
“Midnight my lady.” I rolled back towards Matthew and smiled.
The moonlight filtered in through the window and rested over him, his
lean muscular body twinkled with sparkling starlight I had never known
before. Even his scares looked appetizing under the faint silver light. His hair
looked almost as white as his skin… and those eyes… God how I loved
though eyes. Whenever the rest of him seemed cold or distant, I could look
into those eyes and see the true Matthew, my Matthew.
It made me want him in a way I never knew I could want anyone…
other than Isaac. But that wanting… it wasn’t sexual. It was a want for them
to be with me, to be close to me. Maybe that was the curse that came with
being bonded with someone… or maybe it’s just my curse to love more than
one man.
“You know what Matthew; you’re beautiful under the moonlight.” He
made no comment, I think that’s what saddened me the most. I held out my
hand. “Come here.” He pushed himself off the wall and walked to my bedside
almost as if it were out of habit… as if he couldn’t say no to me. I watched his
elegance, the way he walked made it seem as if he was walking on air. I
scooted over so that there was enough room for him in the bed. His face was
indifferent as he stared down at me. I outreached my hand a little more.
“Hold me will you?” he hesitated for a moment before snuggling under the
covers with me and taking me into his arms. In truth, I think that’s all I ever
really needed, just someone to hold me. Maybe I didn’t need love, or trust…
just as long as I had someone to hold me at night… maybe I could survive on
that. “Thank you Matthew.” I whispered against his skin.
“As my lady commands, so shall it be done.” I kissed his shoulder
gently, tenderly. And within moments, I was out like a light.

When I woke, I woke in Matthews arms. It was like starling warmth

before a storm. He made me feel safe, even if it was only for a moment. I
appreciated that more than I would ever be able to tell him… mostly, because
today I would have to face Isaac. I had questions and I needed answers… but
I wasn’t even sure of what I saw.
A flash back of last night hit me and I felt the bile rise in the bottom of
my stomach. I pushed away from Matthew for fear of throwing up all over
him. And evidentially, I woke him in the process.
“Princess!” Matthew cried. I leaned over the side of the bed and tried
to regain my composure. Matthews hands rested on my shoulders and
rubbed a line to my forearms and back. He inched his way closer and I found
myself leaning back against his flat warm expanse of chest. “Are you
alright?” he asked. There was more tenderness and feeling in his voice than I
had ever before heard from him. I smiled lightly and nodded.
“Yeah… yeah I’m alright.” I reached behind me and let my hands
entwine them selves behind Mathew’s neck. “Thank you… for everything.” He
kissed my cheek, and when I didn’t protest continued a slow path down the
side of my neck to my shoulder. But when he reached my shoulder… he
stopped, as if he had to take a moment to remind himself of all the reasons
why we shouldn’t be doing this. He wound his arms around my waist and
kissed my cheek once again before slipping away from me and becoming the
stony collected soldier I was beginning to hate.
“As my lady commands, so shall it be done.” He recited. “There is no
need to thank me for doing my job.”
“It’s not your job yet.” I said as Matthew got to his feet and rummaged
around for his shirt, “Nothings official yet Matthew, I… I just want you to know
I’m grateful.” He nodded and slipped the shirt over his head. When he sat
down to put on his shoes, I noticed something that shocked me to my very
core… Matthews’s scars… were fading. Scars like those shouldn’t fade, not
for years. But the change in his scares was almost impossible not to notice.
“Matthew…” I whispered. I could feel the tears in my eyes when he looked up
at me.
He scrabbled to kneel in front of me and stared at my face, trying to
decipher the problem as I stared at his. I reached up and cupped the side of
his face. They even felt softer. My tears broke out into a soft laughter. I stood
up and grabbed his hand.
“Where are we going?” I pulled him into the bathroom despite his
protests and placed him in front of the mirror. The second he caught a
glimpse of his reflection ever muscle in his body froze. He stared at himself
for what seemed like an eternity.
I couldn’t keep the pure joy off of my face, even if I had tried. “There
healing.” I whispered, just saying the words made my body convulse with
happiness. “There healing! There healing Matthew! Look!” I stroked the side
of his face and felt it growing with furious warmth beneath my fingers.
“You’re burning up.” I said. “Matthew, are you feeling okay?” he turned to
me, and I could see the bloody tears in his eyes.
“I feel…” he entwined our fingers together and his temperature
declined. “I feel stronger when you touch me. I feel better in your presence
Kayla. It’s… it’s as if all the ancient myths are true and when you touch me, it
as if heaven touches me.” He took my hand and placed it against his rapidly
beating heart. “Your spirit sings to me Kayla, I can feel it in my heart, it feels
as if it explodes whenever you’re near, and breaks when you turn away.” He
brought one of his hands up to my face and whipped away the blood
drenched tears. “A single tear from your eyes sends me drowning into a sea
of sorrows.” He cupped the side of my face and rubbed his thumb in a
soothing gesture. “I planned on saying this another time… maybe in Paris at
the Eiffel tower, or in London outside of Big Ben. But I can’t wait any longer.”
He lifted me off the ground and pressed me up against the wall so my
legs were wrapped around his hips. “I’m in live with you Kayla. I always have
been. Even at that moment when we first met, I found you captivating. But a
Nobel could not have relations with a servant, nor a feedling.” He smiled.
“You can’t imagine my surprise when I found you to be not a feedling but our
future queen.” He stroked my cheek and smiled. “But I knew you’d be special
to me. And I was right.” He took in a deep breath and steadied himself. “I
love you Kayla. You’re the only person I see Kayla, and when you’re gone
from my site, you’re the only thing I can think about, it’s driving me crazy.
And then last night you came to me, not Isaac, me. You asked me to lay with
you and hold you in my arms. You have no idea how hard it was to behave
myself.”
He took in a shuddering breath and it was harder than you could
imagine to ignore the raging hard on he had protruding in places I wasn’t
sure he that he was welcome to be protruding. “I’ve wanted to have you so
many times, and in so many ways it hurts.” He looked at me with pleading
eyes “Please Kayla put me out of my misery.” He leaned his forehead against
mine and fought for control of his body.
“H-how?” I asked with shaky breath. “How can I?”
“Love me.” He pleaded “Love me Kayla, just once, just today. Just give
me enough to get me through, just as long as you can bear it.” I touched his
face and pulled him far enough away so that I could stare into his eyes.
“Matthew, I do love you. You’re beautiful and glorious and I want to
give you what I want… but I can’t.” I kissed him and felt his sorrow melt into
me. “I’ll do whatever you ask of me Matthew, but I can’t promise to put you
out of any misery.” I laughed shakily. “I am misery. I can’t love anyone
properly Matthew, you’ll always want more of me than I can give, and it’ll
always hurt for you to be near me. But I love you, and I’ll try.” I fingered the
collar of his shirt and fisted it between my fingers. “I think your all of got left
now.”
He leaned in and kissed me with passion. A kiss born form the love of a
man driven to desperation by a woman not yet good enough to deserve such
treatment. He fed from me as if I was oxygen and he was a dying man. Our
tongues danced and explored the unknown caverns that were each others
mouths. He pulled away just as I wanted more and whispered. “Make me
yours Kayla, that’s all I ask.”
I slept with him that night; we didn’t leave that bedroom for what
seemed like days but was probably mere hours. And during that day,
everything seemed so perfect, so simple that I never wanted to leave his
embrace. But when nightfall came and the showers had washed away all
evidence of the day before… Matthew fell back into his silent soldier
persona… and me? I was left to face Isaac about the past nights experience.
Matthew walked closely by my side to each class and when it came time for
English… I was on my own.
Or at least, that’s what I thought.
“High Princess Kayla,” Isaac announced happily. “How generous of you
to grace us with your presence.” Now see, if this were any other guy talking I
would have automatically assumed sarcasm, but Isaac didn’t understand let
alone use sarcasm. “Would you be gracious enough to regale us with tales of
your absence?” he asked.
My eyes darted around the room nervously; I seriously had to get use
to public speaking. “Umm… sure. I’ve just been a bit sick. I fainted the other
day and I guess I’ve been out ever since. Probably not drinking enough, that’s
all.” I tried not to look Isaac in the eyes. I knew what I had seen the other
day, I knew he was a murderer… but I still felt so guilty. He… he was
supposed to be mine, and I his. And instead of talking out our problems… I
slept with my king of the guard.
“Very well, this arrived for you just before you arrived. I trust our
young Matthew can guide you to Mr. Blake’s office, I believe he shall be
waiting there.” I took the note from him, not meeting his eyes and waited for
Matthew to reclaim my arm before making a timely exit just as Isaac began
his lesson.
“You’re acting guilty” Matthew pointed out.
“I feel guilty. I mean, I know what I saw him doing… and I know what
happened between us isn’t bad per say, but… I feel like I’ve cheated on him. I
feel like I betrayed him more than he betrayed me.”
“Well… then perhaps you can make a deal. I think I know what Mr.
Blake wishes to speak to you about. We’ll talk after that.”
“Why can’t we talk now?”
“Because I could be wrong about what Mr. Blake wants, and if so, then
I’d prefer more evidence to back me up before we speak of what I’m
thinking.”
He walked me into the main building and up to the 14th floor. We
walked to the end of the corridor and came to a library unknown to me. It was
filled from wall to wall with books. Not research books like those in the
student’s library, but ancient volumes and books that looked like they
belonged in museums. “It is Sang-Noirs second greatest pride. They hold an
entire collection of vampire history that predates all known human records.
There were cities of our kind long before man even crawled to earth.”
“Wait… so the theory of evolution is wrong?”
“Well, not wrong. Just not fully developed yet. Humans still have
valuable information yet to find, pieces to an unfinished puzzle if you will.” I
nodded slowly. I had spent my entire life thinking we humans were at the top
of the food chain, thinking all scientists were infallible. But just to see how old
these people were, how vibrantly alive they still were, even if they were,
technically, dead.
We came to a large wooden semi circle shaped desk covered in books
and papers; I could only assume it was the returns desk. A tall slim woman
with dark brown eyes and darker hair stood behind the desk sorting the piles
of books. Matthew snatched the paper from my hands and shoved it in front
of her nose. “Hey!”
“The Princess has an appointment with Mr. Blake,” the librarian looked
up and eyed him suspiciously. “If you would make him aware of her presence
that would be most appreciated.” She looked over his shoulder at me, and I
swear to god her eyes got three times as big. Now that was a reaction I
wasn’t use to. A little widening as if to say ‘oh, whets that?’, sure, but not
‘OMFG, Royalty!’, that just kind of scared me.
“Right away sir!” she stuttered out.
“Good, we shall wait outside his office.” He took my hand in his and
dragged me off towards an uncomfortable green cotton couch I instantly
hated.
“That was incredibly rude Matthew.” I said as I stole back my hand.
“You could have asked her politely you know.”
“It is not in my job description to be polite Kayla; it is my job to get
things done.”
“Still, you catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar.”
“But we are not catching flies or making friends Kayla, we are getting
things done as quickly and efficiently as possible.”
“Well, maybe that’s why you’re here, but unlike some people I’d like to
have a few good connections. Especially if I’m going to be spending eternity
in this world. I don’t want people to think me or the company I keep rude, or
arrogant for that matter. I want people to love you as much as I do.” Shit. I
really shouldn’t have said that. “I want people to see the real you,” I
attempted “Not just what I’ve done to you.”
He was quiet for a moment. “You’ve done nothing to me Kayla, if
anything, you’ve made me happier.”
“Lets not fight about this now, okay? Lets just hear what Mr. Blake has
to say and then we can go talk somewhere quiet.” He squeezed my hand and
laid the lightest of feather kisses upon it back.
“You’ve done nothing wrong Kayla.” He repeated more firmly. “Your
not responsible for every ones actions, just your own, and your own actions
have been made out of nothing but love and courtesy. Don’t start doubting
yourself before your put to the test; you’ll set your self up for a fall. I don’t
want to see you fall.”
“It doesn’t matter if I fall.” I told him. “You’d be there to catch me
anyway.” He smiled at me, a rare real Matthew smile I longed for and
nodded.
“Always.”
“Mr. Blake is ready to see you now.” The librarian announced. Matthew
got to his feet and pulled me along side him. But the librarian stopped him.
“He is ready for Miss Kayla, not you. She must go alone.” Matthew looked like
he was going to blow a serious gasket. “Is there a problem?” she asked.
 “No!” I chimed in immediately before Matthew could give her a piece
of his mind. “It’s fine, really. It won’t take long after all. Umm, you should
probably head back to class then huh?”
“I will wait.” He said firmly. And in that moment, I knew for certain he
wasn’t going to budge on this. I nodded and smiled at him.
“Okay, we’ll talk later.” He nodded, kissed my hand and released me
to the care of the tall librarian. She walked away, and I assumed I had to
follow her. What the hell else was I to do? She opened the large wooden door
and entered a small secondary waiting room. She closed the doors behind
her and continued over to yet another pair of large wooden doors. She turned
to me and smiled before she opened them.
“Mr. Blake thanks you for agreeing to see him this night, please, enter
as you wish.” And as quickly as she had entered, she was gone.
And I was left alone in front of a pair of huge intimidating wooden
doors. What to do, what to do…

Being a Vampire
Chapter Five Part Two
Incubus

Needless to say I opened the door and walked right through. I’d never
met Mr. Blake before, and in truth, I doubt many of the students had. Mrs.
Iron-Fang, our vice Principal was the one that handled all the dirty word, but
then again, I guess that’s the same for all schools.
But nothing could have prepared me for what I saw sitting behind that
desk. He was Gorgeous! The kind of man women would, no joke, fight to the
death over. His long flowing hair fell in waves of gold around his shoulder, like
a heavenly Aura surrounding his body. His skin was as white and flawless as
brand new porcelain.
And those eyes, Jesus Christ those eyes were like heaven. They were
the lightest shade of sky blue; they pulled you in and made you watch them,
inviting you to stay. It was as if something bubbled behind those eyes, like a
deep dark secret he could only share with the woman he loved, and those
beautiful eyes made you believe you were that woman.
I wrenched my eyes away from his to concentrate on a less attractive
aspect of his body. No good. His body was strong and gracefully
proportioned. He looked both calm and protective, strong and flexible… and
Oh My God those lips! God you can only imagine what I wanted him to do
with those lips.
“Take a seat Young Princess.” His voice filled my body, like music fills
the soul and I stumbled to do as he asked. In that exact moment I knew why
the students didn’t get to see much of him. They’d all be trying to jump his
bones, every day, like I wanted to. “Forgive me if I seem forward, but… would
you mind?”
“M-mind what?” I asked, stumbling when I realized I was supposed to
answer such a heavenly call.
 “I’m flattered and you are a most beautiful woman, with an even more
prosperous future, but I do not fraternize with my students.” I blushed
crimson. Holly shit could he read my thoughts or something? “I can read the
thoughts of those affected by my presence, just one of the greater aspects to
being a succubus. The downside being hunted by many different races… but I
digress.” He leaned forward and tucked a lose strand of hair behind his ear. I
couldn’t help but nibble on my lip. “I see this will be difficult.”
“I don’t mean to. And God I know I shouldn’t be… tempted or anything.
But… Jeeze are you all this fricking flawless? Or is it just my extreme
Nympho-ness that’s making me want to jump your bones?” the second I said
it I instantly flushed crimson. Could I possibly be a more embarrassing person
or what?
“Believe me, that is a flattering way to put it. Yes I’m afraid; we are all
flawless as you put it. But being physically flawless does leave for many…
personal flaws.” Doubt that. “We can be a very cruel race my dear,” swoon!
“We can shred a man from limb to limb with out even lifting a finger. If I tell a
woman to do something, she does it.” And in that second when our eyes
connected I knew for a fact I would have done anything he asked. “But that is
a tale for another campfire night and what we are here to discuss is not me
but you.”
“Me?”
“Yes my dear, you.” Oh wonderful. I groaned inwardly. I just hoped it
wasn’t going to be like a shrink session. With him asking me how my day
was, how my family was, how much I hated them, why I hated them Blah-
Blah-Blah.
“As a matter of fact it does involve your family.”
“Oh well that’s… umm… that sucks.”
“It is unfortunate we have to discus this. I fear we will not get onto the
subject I originally wished to discuss with you. But… we found your sister” my
heart caught in my throat. “She… there is no easy way for me to say this.
Your sister has fallen victim to our mur—”
“No…” I whispered. It felt as if someone had shot my through the heart
when in truth, someone had, someone I loved very dearly had.
“I need you to tell me Kayla,” he said as he got out of his chair and
stalked towards me, much like a lion circling it’s pray. “You know who
murdered her don’t you?” I looked at him; it was as if there wasn’t enough
room in my body for both his beauty and the tragedy that was Nikita… I
couldn’t even think it! I nodded slowly. “Good. Tell me Kayla, tell me and I’ll
make sure this never happens again.”
“I-I…”
“All I need is a name Kayla.”
It took all my heart and concentration just to mutter that one tiny
word… “Isaac…” I whispered. “Isaac did it.” I couldn’t stop the endless
stream of blood laced droplets running down my face. “He held her body
open and Darious… he… he cut…” I couldn’t talk coherently. My screams of
pain proved too difficult to form words around.
His hand came down on top of my head and stroked it softly. “Thank
you my dear. I’ll go retrieve your Favored King of the Guard.” I couldn’t
speak, all I could do, was cry and scream…
 I’d let her down when I was human, I left her alone with that monster. I
hadn’t realized bringing her here would open her up to a whole new kind of
monster. I hadn’t thought… how could I have thought? I thought Isaac loved
me, I thought he’d… I didn’t know what to think. But I’d never thought he
could kill someone, especially not a child. He’d told me no one would ever
dare kill a vampire child; he said that it would be a sin just to make them go
without. He couldn’t… he wouldn’t have. But there was no denying what I had
seen. I saw him standing over a freshly cut body as Darious… as he… I shook
with fright. That was Nikita’s body, my sister! I hadn’t even realized at the
time… how could he do that to me? Why… why would he have done that to
me?
Large warm hands touched lightly on my back. “Kayla… I… I’m
sorry…” Matthew whispered. He pulled me from the ground and pulled
me tightly against his chest. I hadn’t even realized I’d fallen until then.
I looped my arms around his neck and cried into his purple blazer.
“Why?” I asked him. “Why would he—”
“Because he is an evil creature who will be dealt with swiftly. Ma
Lady should not cry over such a pathetic excuse for a man.”
“He’s not pathetic.”
“Yes he is Kayla. He has been murdering vampire feedlings. If
you think murder for humans is bad, it is an atrocity for us. Feedlings
have a ten year incubation time, and born vampires take twenty. And
then nobles like us… let us just say it is hard enough for our women to
get pregnant let alone live through the ordeal. Our numbers are
dwindling Kayla. Murder for us… it is like saying you would rather kill
all of us that be one of us.” I cringed into him and he held me close.
“But Isaac wouldn’t—”
“I know what I saw.” Matthew said firmly. “And so do you. Don’t
protect the murderer Kayla, you’re above that.” he rocked me gently
and made me feel safe again. I was tore, and this time there was no
going back, no safe haven to join, just pain and misery down the road
ahead of me. I knew Matthew would stay by my side, for better or for
worse… but… Isaac…
“What’s going to happen to him?” I asked. He was quiet for a
moment. I wasn’t sure if he was going to answer…
“Darious and Isaac will be given to the houses of the deceased’s
families and they will choose what punishment is fit. But death is out of
the question. I told you our numbers were dwindling; even the vampire
council would never condone a life for a life. Most likely they will be
sold into slavery of some kind, or perhaps even kept by the families as
a collective slave…” he sighed and stroked my back. “I’m afraid this
will all fall to you. You are the highest ranked player in this tragedy
Kayla. You will give your punishment first at the circle of elders. And
then… the others shall proceed.”
“How many have died?” I asked.
“Including your sister… four I believe, perhaps five. We have
been preoccupied as of late my dear.”
 I smiled at the nick name, “So it’s ‘my dear’ now? Damn, sleep
with a guy and he automatically assumes you want cutesy little
nicknames.” I knew humor was a bad sign, but it was how I dealt with
things I couldn’t handle all at once. I laughed them off and tried not to
think about it.
He kissed the crook of my neck and made a slow wet trail to my
ear “how about my love” he whispered. “My Queen and lover.” he
kissed me again and I could feel the way he felt for me. It was as if it
were apart of me, as if apart of me was inside Matthew… and I
suppose in a way it was. But I felt as if his love was a living creature,
its warmth radiated from Matthew and seemed to light the room with
its glow. I smiled ruefully at him and kissed his forehead.
“I am… your Queen Matthew. I do not know how to be more.” I
shook my head lightly and ran my fingers over his healing scars. “Sex
does not equal love. They are connected… but they are not the same.”
His breathing shook as he held me.
“You are torture Ma Lady.” He noted. “Is there no form of love
you can return to me?” he asked.
“Didn’t I already warn you about that?” I asked quietly. “I love
you Matthew… but its not a romantic love, it’s not like the love I share
for…” I couldn’t even say his name. Just the thought of him brought
tears to my eyes. “You are my closest friend Matthew; I love you more
than I have loved most people. Only… only Nikita and Isaac came close
to you.” I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Don’t give up on me
just yet.” He nodded and held me to him with a ferociousness I had
never before seen in him.
“I will wait, even if it kills me I will wait.” I kissed him; his mouth
fed mine in a delicate dance of tears and love.
“Don’t let it kill you Matthew, let it make you stronger.” He
started rocking again, but this time I thought it was for his benefit
more than my own. We stayed like that for quite some time, absorbed
in our own little worlds while still in each other grasp. Nothing in the
world could have made me move in that moment, and in truth, nor
could anything have moved Matthew. He held onto me for dear life,
and I him.
It was an hour or so before I felt I had the courage to move from
that spot. I had missed too much class and people were probably
gossiping by now. Besides, I was hungry and the lunch bell would be
going shortly. Matthew and I had silently pulled ourselves out of our
little pity parties and headed back to English. Isaac had been detained
before we arrived. The students were all nervous as hell, but I couldn’t
be bothered telling them what was happening. If I did, I was scared I’d
break out into tears. The fact there was drying blood still clear on my
face probably tipped them off a little too.
When the bell went I could have sighed with relief. I grabbed my
books and headed out the class room. It hadn’t even occurred to me to
wait for Matthew. But I found him at my side despite the laps in
thought. But what did stand out to me was that though Matthew
usually stood at my left, today, he stood to my right. I wasn’t sure if he
had intended to do that, or if he was simply walking, but the
symbolism wasn’t lost on me.
My sire had betrayed me and that left my right hand side open. It
was, I guess, only logical he stand there. But… it still felt to me like
cheating. I had promised him I’d never cheat on him, and I’d meant it. I
guess it’s the same as when he said he’d never hurt me. He may have
meant it when he said it, but he’d hurt me deeper than any other man
I’d ever known. Even my abusive father paled in comparison to this. I
could forgive my father in time; he was a disturbed man… But I
couldn’t forgive Isaac. I could never forgive him this.
So I let Matthew stand at my right had side, as tall and glorious
as ever. There was no harm in it after all… but still, Matthew could
never take Isaacs place in my heart. No one could.
We made it into the Cafeteria, and for once people didn’t just all
stop together and bow. They smiled happily at me, as if I were
everyone’s best friend and they hadn’t seen me in years. It warmed
my heart a little to see them all standing before me. They weren’t just
subjects or people in a school anymore. They were my friends, my
people. I owed them the loyalty they paid me… and to prove it… I’d
have to convict Isaac. I owed them all a fair conviction. As I passed
through the crows the canteen line they all stopped and greeted me,
some more formally than others. It was touching enough to make me
shed a single tear.
I’d made the hugest mistake in my life, and no one seemed to
notice. I’d trusted a man… and feel in love. But no one here judged
me, no one here expected me to be immortal. They loved me… and
strangely enough… I loved them back.
“Kayla!” Jasper bellowed. I turned and smiled at the tall blonde
vampire. “Where’ve you two been? Find a nice quiet closet, eh?” I
laughed and sauntered over to him.
“Why? Are you sad you weren’t invited?”
“Very.” He said with mock sadness in his voice. He looked over
at Matthew, a devious glint in his eyes and smiled. “Be a good boy and
tape it next time will ya?”
“Oh gross! Okay honey, now you’ve taken it too far.” He smiled
down and me and nodded.
“As you wish.” I shook my head and grabbed his hand.
“Come on, we and Matthew were about to get some lunch.”
“Sounds good to me. A nice warm cup of SHB would go down real
good right now.”
“You’re telling me!” I took Mathews hand with my free hand and
smiled at him. “Even guardians need a break every now and again.” He
nodded, but all trace of emotions were gone from his face. I sighed, oh
well. The line was long so it took us longer than I had expected to get
the blood. By the time we made it to the head of the line I was
famished. “Two bottles of A+ Synthetic Human Blood, please.”
Doris smiled at me. “Sure sweetheart.” She grabbed me two bottles,
warmed them up and handed them over. “There you go darling.”
“Thanks Doris, you’re such a life saver.” I was so ravenous I couldn’t
even wait to get out of line before I opened one of the bottles and downed its
contents. I could feel the blood being absorbed into my body, and a light
warmth trickle around my skin. I must have looked a lot less pail, because I
certainly felt a lot less fragile. Matthew looped our arms together as he and
Jasper led me over to a table. It wasn’t long before the usual table fillers
showed up.
Matthew seemed so different now, so distant. Before the incidence, he
was so lively, the conversation practically revolved around him. But now?
Now he just sat there and watched. He listened and every now and then he
threw in a small comment or two, but he seemed so upset. It felt as if I were
sitting next to a completely different person. I rested my hand over his and
got his immediate attention.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I am fine, Princess.”
“No your not. You’re completely out of it.” I rubbed the back of his
palm with my thumb and stared at out hands. “You’re distant all of a
sudden.” He gave me the ghost of a smile and slid over so he was pressed
closer to my side. He slipped his free arm around my shoulder and kept the
other relaxed under my hand.
“I do not feel distant.” He said. “I feel I have learnt an invaluable
lesson these people will never know.” he turned over his and so that he could
hold my own without trouble. “I have responsibilities now. I have you and a
task I need to fulfill. I do not have time, nor the need to debate who has the
largest horse.”
“I don’t think its horses their measuring.” He laughed heartily as if I
had taken him by surprise and kissed my cheek lightly.
“You are too much Princess.”
But I disagreed. I wasn’t too much… I felt more like I wasn’t enough.
 Being a Vampire
Chapter Five Part Three
Confrontation

Matthew and I didn’t go back to class after that. No, he took me out
along the grounds and found us a nice quiet spot near the fence. He’s even
swiped us another two bottles of SHB
We sat with out backs to an old oak tree and stared at the large black
metal spikes that made up Sang-Noir’s gates. Matthews arm was around my
shoulders and my head was gently resting on his chest. If we were going to
be talking about some awkward things I was going to get as much comforting
as I could. I didn’t want to cry… not again.
“What did Mr. Blake ask you?”
“Umm… he-he just told me about Nikita… and he asked me if I knew…
you know: who did it… and I told him. He said there was something else he
wanted to talk to me about, but he didn’t get to it.”
“That’s all?”
“Yeah, pretty much. And that well, he can read my thoughts because
he’s like a succubus right?”
“Well, technically he’s an Incubus, but yes. You should stay away from
his kind too, his kind are not good company to keep.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Incubus’s must feed at least once a day. They feed off of sex Princess.
The more powerful his prey the better fed he will be. You are a powerful piece
of pray Ma Lady, no good would come to you where such creatures are
involved.”
 I nodded and kissed his chest lightly. “I promise I’ll try to stay away
from him.” He stoked my back with his hand and leaned down to kiss my
forehead.
“There are other things I need tell you as well.”
“Go ahead, I’m listening.”
“Sang-Noir is not the only congregation of vampires on the planet.
There is one in Paris being set up at the moment… and I have discussed such
things with Mr. Blake. He believes the school will need help if it is to be set up
properly, but he cannot go for he cannot leave his pregnant wife behind, nor
can he ask the teachers to leave when we are in desperate need of staff. So,
he has offered such a task to you and I. ”
“Wait, you want me to go to Paris!?” I border line screamed.
“Is that bad?”
“No! No, I’ve always wanted to go to Paris! Ever since I was a little girl,
I’ve always wanted to see the city. Can you imagine how beautiful it would be
under starlight? I’ve seen pictures and stuff at school, but to actually go
there… it would be like magic.”
“Well, I think it would do you good to get away from here anyway.
There are too many bad memories here, to many lingering ghosts.”
“When do we leave?” I asked.
“A few days. You need to be present at the trail before we leave, and
as hard as it is Ma Lady, you must find a suitable punishment for him.”
“I already have one in mind.”
“You do?” he asked.
“Yes. To anyone else it will seem trivial, but… it is suitable to me.”
“What would you have him do?” Matthew asked.
“He doesn’t have to do anything. I know Isaac. He will beg and plead
for a way to make it up to me, to repent for his sins. But I won’t give him one.
I won’t acknowledge the life of someone who takes others a way, I won’t
acknowledge a Murderer. He’s dead to me Matthew… not a living breathing
murderer… just dead.”
Mathew was silent for a short while. The beating of his heart beneath
my ear was comforting, just like the calming speed of his breath, the slow
in… out as his chest rose and feel. “It would be torture to hear from your
lips.” He said absently… as if he were not speaking to me, but to himself. “It
will be a fine punishment.” He noted.
“Where… where have they taken him?”
“The castle has a dungeon. They flew in guards yesterday while you
slept. That’s why you awoke along side Sky. I needed someone to watch over
you, and he seemed the only person capable.” I nodded, that sounded more
like Matthew. He wanted me forever protected, he wouldn’t leave his post
without having someone ‘capable’ watching over me. And he wouldn’t have
to worry about the two of us being alone together. If Sky really was Isaacs’s
son I could never touch him. It would feel too… weird. And after what had
transpired between the two of us… I could never touch him or Isaac ever
again.
“Is… is he okay?” I asked.
“He has been treated like any other murderer Kayla, we do not
discriminate between people love, in the eyes of the court he is no better
than any other criminal. But…”
 “But?” Matthews’s body went stiff and ridged. I looked up to see the
ice in his eyes.
“He refuses to confess until he sees you.”
It was my turn to be quiet. Isaac was waiting for me, right now in some
dingy little dungeon. He wanted to see me. I had to dig my fingers into the
ground just to keep from getting to my feet and running to his side. “So… I
have to go get him confession?” I asked.
He let out an exasperated sigh and nodded. “It would be for the best.”
“Then we should get it over with.” I said. He nodded and helped me to
my feet. I knew if I couldn’t face him now, I wouldn’t be able to face him in
court. If I couldn’t face him now and not want to run into his arms… then I
couldn’t possibly attend such a meeting.
He escorted me to the dungeon. It wasn’t far away. Just down the
stairs on the first floor of the main building and down a long narrow
depressing corridor. The end of the corridor opened into a larger room that
held little more than a desk and another door. Behind the desk sat a tall
muscular man that, to me, looked even bigger than Isaac.
“The Princess is here to meet with the Traitor.” Matthew announced.
The guard stood at attention, his long thick brown hair falling in front of his
eyes. I smiled and laughed lightly.
“At ease soldier, its not inspection time you know.” He looked at
Matthew for confirmation and nodded. I let it slide. Men will always respect
the word of a man over the word of a woman. He relaxed slightly, but still had
that cold solid stare I had seen all too clearly in Matthews eyes.
“Open the cells.” Matthew ordered. And to my surprise, the guard did
as he was told. Did age suddenly not matter?
“Why is he taking orders from you?” I asked.
“For one thing, I am a Nobel. He and his kind are sworn to serve us.
And secondly, I am favored king of the guard. All those below me will want
my favor. For as it is your choice whom to favor, it is my choice to choose
your security team, whom goes to battle, and of course, who stays behind.”
“Kind of like a war lord?” I said absent mindedly.
“In a way, I suppose it is.” He walked me down a large dank flight of
stairs and at the very bottom of those stairs sat a large caged beautiful man.
My Isaac.
“Kayla!” he stood and reached for me, pressing every part of his body
as tightly against the iron bars as he could. I had thought I would have
wanted to run into his arms and have him touch me like he use to… but… it
was as if my legs were rooted to the floor. I stared at his pleading eyes and
felt… impractical. He was pressing his body so tightly against the bars I
thought he was going to bruise that flawless skin. I turned to Matthew.
“Wait for me upstairs.” I told him in a clean steady voice. He examined
me and nodded wordlessly. I guess whatever I was feeling, or not feeling was
clear on my face. He turned and walked up the stairs. I waited until I heard
the door close behind him before I felt I was safe to breathe.
“Kayla…” his hand slowly dropped and his eyes filled with unshed
bloody tears. He sat on the crude plank behind him and stared at the floor.
“I thought I’d come here… and it’d kill me to see you caged… behind
bars. I thought I’d be screaming and pleading for your release.”
 He looked up at me, not a trace of humor on his face and whispered.
“So did I”
I ignored him. “But I can’t do that.” I said. “I can’t because no one has
ever hurt me this deeply before.” I could feel the tears building up and had to
fight to keep the wobbling out of my voice. “Not even my own father ever
made me this hurt. It hurts so much that I wish I could turn back time and go
back to the way things use to be. Before you and all this stupid Queen
bullshit!” I walked towards his cell and waited until his eyes connected with
my own. I could feel the bile rising in my stomach. “I hate you.” I said through
gritted teeth, I was surprised at how much acid leaked into my voice. And in
that moment, I truly did. “You killed the last living piece of me that was worth
saving, and for that I’ll always hate you.” My hands constricted around the
bars. “But I can’t get you out of my god damn mind!” I borderline screamed.
“You’re always there, lurking in the back of my thoughts. You killed her, and I
hate you…” I slid to the floor, my hands refusing to follow me and ended up
dangling there. “But you’ve made it impossible for me to stop loving you…
and I hate you all the more for it.” SNAP!
The metal bars beneath my hands gave way and snapped. But I didn’t
let go, I pressed harder until the metal bit through my skin, the sweet smell
of blood flooded my nostrils.
“I never want to see you again.” I looked up at him, with tears
streaming down my face… and hated him. “I hope the day you die you
remember her face, I hope you can remember her screams of pain. I hope
you never forget what a worthless bastard you are!” we were quiet for a
moment. The only sound was my ragged cough like breathing.
“She never screamed.” he whispered. “We used lentus poison to put
her to sleep. It doesn’t kill you in small doses… we needed them alive.”
“Why?”
“You are sick Kayla. You haven’t realized it yet, but you are. Your
body… its rejecting the change. Darious… he told me we could save you…
but it meant retrieving the life essence of a truly innocent. We failed…”
“Your lying!” I screamed. “You’re lying!”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are! I’m perfectly fine. I’m not having trouble with the blood
anymore, I feel fine. Better than fine, I feel fitter and healthier than I’ve ever
felt before!” I smacked my hands into the bars and they gave way. “You’ve
ruined everything!” I told him. “You said you’d always be there for me… you
said you loved me.” My voice cracked and broke, but nothing I could have
said would ever explain the betrayal I felt or the ice that engulfed my heart.
“You were the first person I’ve ever trusted with my life.” I looked up at him
to see nothing. No tears, no anger… he looked exactly the same as when I
had first met him. There was no hurting with Isaac… No love in those empty
eyes. “You were the first person I ever loved.” I tried to steady myself; there
was no point in showing him the hurt he had caused. He didn’t care. No one
cared about me. I got to my feet, and looked him in those vacant eyes; those
eyes I had once thought held something as beautiful as love for me. “But I
see now it was a one sided love. I you’d have just let me die.” I spat at his
feet and turned from him.
The hate and loathing rippled over me like waves as I climbed those
steps back to Matthew. I knew they’d heard every word that had passed my
lips, and probably every breath I’d taken. But it didn’t faze me. I turned to the
guard who was bowing at the waist… like Isaac always did. “You might want
to move him, I broke the bars.” I didn’t wait for his reply.
I just left… I just left.

Being a Vampire
Chapter Five Part Four
Conviction

I was in English again, now taught by whatever substitute they could

get, which meant the subject always changed and there were never any
given assignments. The students seemed happy about it. And normally I
would have been to… but I wasn’t, I was just… empty. That was the only way
to describe it. Being broken hearted meant you at least still had a heart. Me?
I felt as if I had no heart… no. I didn’t feel at all, that was the problem.
The night I had spoken to Isaac I had cried my eyes out. It was all
Matthew could do to make sure I nursed a bottle of synthetic so I didn’t
dehydrate. He had looked so grim. I knew he wanted to help, to hold me or
something to that affect. But I flinched away every time… I hadn’t wanted to
be held, or touched, or caressed, or anything like that. What I had wanted
was to die.
But of course, Matthew had heard me tell Isaac that, and seeing as it
was his job to keep me safe, he wasn’t letting me out of his sight. He still
hadn’t and it had been five days now. The only time I ever had to my self was
when I showered or when he did. And even then it was never long enough.
He knew I hated the smothering, but he also knew if he wasn’t around
there would be nothing and no one to force me into eating or other wise. I
would have just sat there in my room and done nothing. In all truth, if he
gave up now that’s probably exactly what I’d be doing.
I wonder what Isaac’s doing. I always wondered what Isaac was doing.
Even through the emptiness I felt the need for him. He was apart of me now,
and parting with him would always hurt. I would always need him. Isaac was
like oxygen, and I was drowning.
I could feel Matthews eyes on me even now. He’d given up on the
lessons just as I had and now spent his time watching my every move. I
couldn’t so much as blink without his knowing I had done it. And so, I spent
my lessons doing nothing. My arms crossed over the table and my head
resting as comfortably as possible across it. I thought of nothing and
everything. It was like crickets in my head. There was noise, but noise to no
affect is still just noise. It serves no purpose, but its still there.
A hand came down on my shoulder and I flinched in recognition.
“Princess, it’s time for lunch.” Matthews’s smooth voice informed me. I hadn’t
even noticed the bell. I rose from my chair robotically and followed Matthew
to the Cafeteria. Everything was the same, same faces, same halls, same
noise… I sat down at the table like normal, they were the same faces, at the
same table, talking about the same things… and then Matthew handed me a
bottle of blood, it was the same bottle, the same lust less blood taste, the
same effects… Everything was boring to me. Everything was the same.
Except that today I would have to deliver the verdict to Isaac. The
families of his victims were meeting and discussing his and Darious’s
punishments. Death was off the table. I’d told Matthew to make sure of that.
He’d promised me even in a situation like this no one would dare ask for his
life. I trust he knows what he’s talking about.
I drank the bottled blood and set the empty bottle aside. Matthew went
to get me another one but I wouldn’t drink it. And for one short moment I was
alone. I could breath. It sounded mean, but at least it was the truth. Having
Matthew next to me, shadowing every step I took was suffocating. But it was
his job, and at least I knew I could trust him with my life. In truth I should be
nicer to him; I owe him my life and more. Hell, I should probably reward him.
But what would I reward him with?
I cannot give him the position as King of the Guard freely. Nor could I,
in truth, give myself over to him. I could have sex with him a million times
and I knew in time I would come to like or maybe even love it. And I would
always love him in my own way. But I could never feel for him what I felt for
Isaac. I can never love anyone that way again. After all, lightning does not
strike twice.
He returned with my drink and sat beside me once more. I leaned over
and kissed his cheek softly. “Thank you.” I whispered before turning back to
the untouched bottle of Synthetic. I wasn’t hungry. I should be, in truth I
should be famished… especially with how skinny I’d gotten.
I’d gone down three dress sizes since I’d gotten here, even my boobs
were getting smaller. Not that I was complaining about that. At least I looked
less ridiculous now. Kind of. But the best thing about my boobs getting
smaller was that now that I was a vampire they were as perky as sin. And my
boobs would never sag, yay for vampire awesomeness.
“Damn Kayla, if you don’t drink something you’re going to disappear
on us.” BB said. I smiled faintly over at him.
“Don’t you worry about that BB. If I die I’ll come back to haunt you,
promise.” I took a forced sip of the synthetic blood and smiled. “Besides, I
thought we vampires were invincible.”
 He smiled. “Hell yeah we are!” and things went back to their normal
boring nothingness. I lay my head down on the table and strangely, when
Matthews’s arms came around my shoulders I didn’t shrug him off. I think I
needed that little bit of comfort today. For today, right after lunch… I would
have to face Isaac once more.
“Sky should be there.” I told Matthew. “He has a right to know what’s
going to happen to his father.” Matthew was quiet for a moment; weight the
pros and cons of what I had suggested.
“Yes. He should be there, as long as he is silent.” Matthew clarified.
I smiled. “When is Sky ever quiet.” His hands ran up and down my
arms and his lips found the exposed crook of my neck. I found myself leaning
sideways to give him more room to explore. I wouldn’t have thought he’d
noticed, that was, expect for that split second of hesitation. “Lets get out of
here, k?” I turned and kissed him wordlessly. He mumbled some form of
agreement and I was off and pulling him up to my bedroom before he even
had time to realize what I was doing.

It wasn’t until later; when I was washing the scent of Matthew from my
body did I realize what I’d just done. I’d slept with him for the second time. I’d
slept with someone other than Isaac for the second time… and I’d enjoyed it,
for the second time. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I promised
myself I’d never make love with another man I wasn’t bound to.
Sex wasn’t just sex, you’d think after all these years I’d believe the
exact opposite, but no. Isaac had made me believe in something I’d never
thought I could believe. He made me feel like sex was something everyone
did… but we, we made love. There was a difference between the two I’d
never realized before. But then again, how can you ever find the difference
between two things if you’ve never felt one of them. It’s like trying to find the
difference between being happy and being sad without ever feeling
happiness in your life. Isaac had been my happiness. And I’d realized for the
rest of my life I would be deprived of that. I would never know true happiness
ever again…
I came out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped tightly around my
body. Matthew was sitting at the end of the bed. His head in his hands. He
looked up at me… I knew that look. The look that said, this was a mistake.
“Showers free.” I mumbled… and then I noticed it. “Holy shit
Matthew!” I ran to him and stoked his face. “There gone! Oh my god! There
all gone!” I border line screamed. He got to his feet and all but ran into the
bathroom, leaving me alone. He was dead silent. The scars Isaac had given
him, the ones that had turned him from my cocky pledged one… into my icy
soldier shadow. I walked into the bathroom and smiled as he examined every
inch of his face in extreme detail. He turned and looked me in the eyes.
“Its you.” He mumbled. “Its you! You’re the reason I’ve healed!” he
scooped me up and kissed me. It wasn’t a demanding sexual kiss like he
would have given me less than an hour ago, but an excited child like kiss.
“What do you mean its me?” I asked once my lips were free.
“You touch me and I feel stronger. Every time you speak my name it
feels as if the earth has stopped turning. When you let me…”
“When we have sex?” I guessed.
 “When I make love to you.” He corrected. I wasn’t sure if he meant it
to mean more than what I had said, or if he was simply more comfortable
with saying ‘make love’ than sex but either way it made me feel somewhat
guilty. It hadn’t been like that on my end… “It feels like your touching my
soul. Fixing part of me that’s broken below the surface.” He touched my hand
to his cheek and kissed it lovingly. “Your soul speaks to me Kayla. You can
heal me without even a thought to its effect.” He pressed me up against a
wall, a feeling I knew all too well and whispered in my ear. “You’re my soul
mate.” He didn’t kiss me. He just held me there and buried his face in my
hair.
I thought back to the time in the infirmary when Matthew had first
received his injured. I had reached out to hold his hand and even though he
was under the sedation of lentus poison he drew strength from my touch.
Darious had said it was simply because we were bonded. But I hadn’t ever
given the bonding much thought. The school books said that different
pledges did different things. What Isaac and I had made us connected in soul.
But I didn’t think it was the same for Matthew and I. so… was he claiming to
be my one and only? He couldn’t seriously think… could he?
“Let me down.” I ordered him. He hesitated for just a moment, but did,
eventually, let me down. “If you don’t shower now we’ll never get out of here
and we’ll end up being even later than we already are.” I pushed him off
towards the shower. “And hurry up okay? I’m making a bad enough
impression as it is.” He did as I asked and I headed into my closet. I so wasn’t
wearing my school uniform. I didn’t know why, but it just felt too…
demeaning. I would dress casually and if they didn’t like it, well they could
suck it for all I cared.
I poked around in my wardrobe and pulled out a nice pair of matching
sky blue thong and bra. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, simple black pumps
and a simple long sleeved, light blue, V neck top that skimmed across the top
of my skinny jeans.
I went back into my bedroom and started picking up the dirt clothes
just as Matthew emerged from the bathroom. He stood behind me as I bent
down to retrieve my blazer and was quiet as he watched me work.
“I don’t think the grieving vampire families will appreciate your choice
in underwear.” Matthew mused. I smiled and turned to him. I rested my
hands gently against his rock hard pecks and pressed my body against his so
that every line of my body was in line with his own. I looked up into those
baby blues and batted my eye lashes a couple times.
“Don’t you like ‘em?” I asked putting on the cutie act like a tight fitting
glove.
His hands came down to cup my ass and I couldn’t help the giggle that
escaped my lips. “I think I’d enjoy then better off of you.” He said. I smiled
and pushed away from him. “Good, because if your not enjoying them,” I said
as I bent down to wipe a scuff from the edge of my pump, giving him a clear
view of my thong. “Then their going to go to waist.” I told him. He literally
picked me up and swung me over his shoulder. I half laughed half screamed
from him to let me go.
“No chance Princess,” he laughed. “As you said, were late enough as it
is.”
 We made a detour to pick up Sky, or more so save him from his last
classes. He was thankful for letting him tag along; even if Matthew made it
painfully clear he was not to breath let alone speak without my say so. Sky
would stand at my left hand side and Matthew would stand to my right. They
would serve as my guards for the night.
“Protocol would be to have you under the guard of two highly trained
warriors at all times, even as you slept. In truth, our high council may indeed
some time soon send you two of their finest. I can look into it if that is what
you wish.” He said.
“It would be nice to be prepared for any unpleasantness that might be
coming our way. Perhaps you should look into it.”
“As my lady wishes, so shall it be done.” He said. I smiled at him and
took his hand in mine. He was warm and familiar, like home. But still… not
like Isaac. I loved him, but it wasn’t the same love. It wasn’t unconditional.
Matthew was taking Sky and I to the main board room. I was
‘supposedly’ to sit at the head of the table for I was again ‘supposedly’ the
one of most importance. I had scoffed at the idea. But Matthew was very
strict on the idea. Mostly because if I didn’t sit at the head of the table it
would make me seem weak and that would cause us trouble further down the
road. Matthew thought it best if I acted above them. I wasn’t sure what to
think of that… but I trusted Matthew. He stopped me at the end of the hall
before one of the large closed doors and turned me to him.
“Just be your beautiful charming self, remember your self as Queen
and above all, remember you do not take any kind of disrespect. It is a crime
to insult you, in truth they could very well suffer fates worse than that of
Isaacs.” I didn’t like the sound of that. He leaned down and kissed my
forehead lightly. “Do not fret my Queen. You shall be glorious.” I nodded,
sucked in a deep breath and braced myself for the grief that awaited me just
beyond that door. “Sky. Open the door.” I asked politely. Matthew moved to
my right and held out his arm for me. I slid my own through his and stepped
through the door.
The room went silent as Matthew and I entered with Sky close behind
me. But the butterflies I had expected to feel weren’t there. They never
came. All I felt was… me. Actually, I think it was Matthews’s heart that was a
flutter.
There were four selected groups sitting around the table. But the looks
I received were anything but what I would have expected from grieving
parents. Rage, calculation, skepticism and remoteness… there was no
grieving, no lost love, nothing but coldness about the room. I almost
wondered if Matthew had brought me to the wrong place.
I sat down at the head of the table and saw hatred flicker through the
man at the furthest corners eyes. He was beautiful, but so was every vampire
ever born. He was just a vampire, as were all apart from Matthew and I
attending the meeting. “I apologize for my absence, unfortunately I had other
matters to attend to.” I bluffed like a genius. “I trust you have used your time
wisely and discussed the very matter we are here to discuss now.” I look to
the man beside me and smiled softly. “It seems I am at a loss. You all know
who I am, and yet I know none of you. So, shall I simply point or is someone
going to start the introductions?” I asked. The man next to me smiled lightly,
his long narrow face looked weary and calculation. Like that of an old man of
science, a man who did not easily trust.
“First name introductions shall suffice?” he asked.
“Indeed.” I said.
“Then let me introduce my bride and Sierra.” the twig thin brunette
nodded at me and I smiled at her. Her topaz eyes dare not meet mine. She
reminded me of a dear, soft and elegant yet somewhat scared of her
surroundings.
“The couple back by the door and Georgina and Jonathan Wetly, maid
and butler to the Wicerbottom house.” The woman was closer to my human
physical shape. A curvy body with simple humble features that made me
automatically think she was bunny rabbit cute. The man beside her was a
different story. He had hair the color of charcoal and eyes that held nothing
but hatred. That was more the reaction I had expect from a parent who had
just lost his child. The woman nodded to me and smiled shyly as she watched
her husband. He nodded under the pressure of his wife and I couldn’t help
the grin that spread across my lips.
“Then the couple across from them is Samantha and Vincent Price,
servants to the Mercy house hold.” Everything about Samantha screamed
bookworm, her long brown waves rippled in a triangle down to her
shoulders… and something about her… she seemed fragile. Like she was in
danger and needed protecting. And the man attached to the arm around her
shoulders was truly her knight in shining armor. A tall buff man that would
have been just shy of six foot five held her with a kind of loving protection I
had known all too well. He reminded me of a bear the way he held himself.
He was so… dominant and wild. I was kind of envious of Samantha.
“And then, to your left are Lady Tatiana and Lord Jordan.” They looked
at me with a skepticism that did not befit lowly vampires. The man, Jordan
looked at me as if to ask ‘what makes you so special?’… I hated that look.
“To good to serve?” I asked. Loving the scowl I got in return. Jordan
was a stunning specimen, but in my eyes, he was nothing.
“The last queen offered their family a small title as payment for their
many long years of service.”
“Looks like the apple does fall far from the tree.” I muttered. I turned
to words the introductory man and smiled. “And your name?” I asked.
“My name is Christian Walker, my wife and I were both educators at
the French Institute, but moved when our daughter wished to study in the
America’s.” his eyes flashed with the sorrow I had expected but quickly
disappeared to hide behind a smiled.
“I am so sorry for your loss. Believe me when I say I feel what your
going through.” I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat and struggled
to find the right words. “My own sister was taken victim. She was the only
thing I had in this world to keep me going.” I had to fight to keep the smile on
my lips. “And now all I have left are my people… and Matthew.” The smiled
became less forced. “But enough about me and my lot. I want to know if any
of you have come to the decision of what you believe my Sire’s punishment
should be.”
“You’re Sire?” Christian asked. The alarm was clear on his face.
“Yes. Isaac is my Sire.” I said. “But I will not save him from the
repercussions of his actions. He has done wrong and he has shamed not only
me, but all of us.” I sighed. “He will face what he has done and he will serve
his sentence in silence. The Isaac I knew was a man… not a monster capable
of such crimes. So I believe you should all have the chance to question him. I
have attempted to myself but…” I shook the memory from my mind. “I was
to emotional for any good to come of it. Are bond is far to strong for me to
ask such personal questions…”
“The connection between Sir and Charge can be strong enough even
to kill the Charge.” Christian said. “Emotional reactions are a given.” I smiled
at him.
“Thank you for understanding.” I held out my right hand. “Matthew.”
He came to me but did not take my hand. “Please retrieve Isaac for us. The
guards may bring him however they see fit… but I doubt he will run. Tell
them to keep that in mind.”
“A-are you sure my lady?” he asked.
“Yes. These people deserve to hear the truth from Isaacs’s lips; I doubt
he will lie while I am in the room.”
“As my lady commands, so shall it be done.” He took my extended
hand, kissed it and left without another word.
“Now,” I announced. “I would like to hear what you have decided.”
“Nothing is final until you say so.” Christian said.
“I know. But I would like to hear what you would at least suggest.”
“Very well. 150 years service to each of the houses he has wronged
and an additional 50 years if that couple is unable to fall pregnant within the
time of his service.” I couldn’t help it when my eyes went wide.
“You’re suggesting 750-1000 years of service?”
“In total, yes.”
“But he won’t live to see 1000 under normal circumstances.”
“In the human world that would either give him death or a life time
sentence yes?” I nodded. “Then this is no different.”
“It is very different. In prison he would spend his life under a semi
freedom. What you’re suggesting is slavery.”
“Exactly.” I knew I had to remember older vampires were more blood
thirsty than I would have believed… but it still felt so harsh.
“No. no I wont accept that offer, not for my Sire. Not yet at least…” I
sighed. “I believe we should at least hear from him first. None of us know the
full story yet. You may even find need to question Darious. After all, he was
the surgical genius behind it all.” I shuddered when I remembered seeing my
Isaac holding open Nakita’s Chest as Darious cut… I couldn’t help the wave of
nausea I felt over take me.
As if on queue, Matthew walked through the door with two large burly
guards caring Isaac in my his armpits. As Matthew came to stand at my right
side they threw Isaac to the ground. I felt the urge to jump from my chair and
rush to his aid. But I did nothing. I sat tight and let my finger nails bite into
the arm of my chair. He looked so pathetic and hopeless. Had they fed him at
all this week? He’d lost weight, and he looks so… helpless.
His head was bowed and his legs were folded beneath him. Matthews
hand came down on my shoulder; the solid weight of it pulled me back to
myself and helped me remember how I should act. He looked up and his eyes
were a mass of blood. If I clutched at the table sides any harder I knew
something was going to break. His eyes connected with mine and all I wanted
to do was cry for him. But I bit my tongue and took in a deep breath.
“You have been called here, accused of the murder of four feedling
vampires and one human child, my sister. Do you admit to said crimes?” I
asked. I was surprised at how level my voice sounded.
He became the closed off vampire I’d first met again, and strangely,
that made him easier to deal with. It was like, his strength became my own.
“Yes.” He whispered. “Yes I admit to my folly.”
“Before we make our final decision I believe we should all hear from
you. Please, tell us your side of the story from the beginning. Emit no detail,
no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.”
He nodded, and we waited patiently as he sorted out his thoughts.
When he finally looked up, I noticed his eyes never touched my own. He
couldn’t not bring himself to stare at my own cool façade.
“I am our future queen’s sire. How that came about is insignificant and
with my ladies permission I would like to amiss such a memory.” I nodded. I
didn’t really want to think about that either. “At first when I brought her to
the castle she seemed to be taking to the change better than I had hoped.
Unlike many of our past queens she enjoyed the taste of blood, not only that
of a human, but that of our own kind as well.” He looked at me then, the heat
in his gaze made me squirm. “Her beauty surpassed all those who had come
before her, vampire or other wise. And her soul was that which I knew we
needed. She has the mind and heart of a queen.”
Under normal circumstances I would have smiled. But as I looked at
Isaac, his torn clothing and dirt ridden body… I felt the sting of tears at my
eyes. But I had promised myself I would never cry for him. I couldn’t do it, I
knew in my heart it would ruin me to care enough to cry.
“But then she started fainting. The first time we thought it was simply
dehydration. But then it happened again. And Darious came to me with news
of her condition. He told me she was dying. Her body was rejecting the
change.” A tear ran down his cheek and he smiled, but that smile was not of
happiness, but of hysteria. “I felt so helpless. The one thing I’ve ever truly
loved was dying. And I couldn’t prevent it. She would die and I would be
alone. Again.” He shook his head, the tears falling freely now and stared at
the floor. “I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I had nightmares about
holding her in my arms when she gave in to her final breath.”
His voice was breaking and with each and every hiccup in his speech
my heartstrings gave an forceful tug in his direction.
“I begged Darious to find a way to save her. I begged him to keep her
alive. Because I knew… I knew I couldn’t live without her.” He took in a deep
breath and the soldier like strength returned to him. “And then the first killing
occurred. The news of it was a buzz around the school. It was Blake who told
me of it first.”
“Wait.” I said. “I thought you said you admitted to all five counts of
murder.”
“And I do. If it had not been for me Darious would never have
attempted such a procedure at all… I’m just as responsible as I have been
had I been the one to cut her open.” He stammered slightly and took in
another deep breath. “Shall I continue?”
“Please.”
 “I even accused Kayla of being the culprit. A rejection of the change
had been known to cause sever madness… it was a logical conclusion.” He
said. “I felt terribly when Darious found me later that night and told me the
truth. I had been furious at first… but when he explained it was for Kayla’s
benefit…” he trailed off.
“What could Murder do to possibly benefit me?” I asked.
“He was collecting Life Essence.” A muffled gasp went out among the
group. “We tracked down the purest of heart among the feedlings and
injected then with lentus poison. In small doses it has a numbing effect,
keeping the patient alive but unconscious when necessary. Essence only
clings to the living.”
“We all know the mechanics of Essence so why are you—”
“It is for my benefit that he is explaining himself” I said, cutting off
Lord Jordan. “You must remember I am still very new to this world. There is
little I understand and he is being kind and explaining in advance so that I
have no need of asking unnecessary questions that will simply take up
precious time.” I settled myself and tried to not scream in frustration. “Is that
a problem?” I asked.
“No. Carry on.” He said. I was offended, but at least Isaac had the
manners to wait my approval before continuing. I nodded and he was off
once more.
“Essence is like a vampire’s soul or at least, something that clings to
our souls giving us the power of longevity. Essence can only be extracted
from a vampire’s heart, and the heart must still be beating when we extract
the Essence infused blood. No vampire can survive loosing their essence…”
he drifted off for a moment; I could see the ghosts passing through him. The
memories of the horrible deeds he had done. “But none of them were pure
enough. And shortly after they were extracted, the Essence evaporated
leaving only stale blood.”
“Then why my sister? She was no vampire and if Essence only resides
within a vampire she would have been of no use to you.”
“All living creatures have some level of Essence within them.” He said.
“After the third failure I was mortified. I went out in search of my Charge and
came across her and her king of the guard in a close embrace. That’s when I
lost my temper with him… for that I am truly sorry. ” He said. And I knew that
tid bit was meant for my ears and mine alone. Even if he was looking at
Matthew when he said them. I couldn’t see Matthews’s reaction, but he must
have nodded or given some form of acceptance because Isaac pressed on.
“Darious came to me with an idea after that.” He said. “He had found a
parchment that told of a darker magic. One that involved extracting the
Essence of one the subject held dear. It would be mixed with that of a
Feedlings Essence and if both strands were strong enough, they would meld
into one and become not only twice as likely to survive… but twice as
powerful. The one to consume such a strand would have an immense power
like none we have ever seen.”
“Did it work?” I asked.
“It did.” He smiled. “I was so relieved, I knew you would live, I had to
believe in it. And when Darious completed the procedure I thought all was
finally right with the world.” But his face darkened and I couldn’t only guess
what was on his mind. “Until…”
 “Until what?” I felt like I was in a bad thriller movie and I was just about
to find out who killed Mrs. Pettigrew.
“Until he drank the Essence.” My eyes went wide and the same
murmured gasp as before made its way around the room. “But it didn’t work
on him. It didn’t work because Nikita was not his beloved…”He struggled with
his emotions and tried not to let out a cry of pain. “Before he drank it he told
me the truth. He told me you were never suffering from the change. You were
still adjusting, but he’d slipped you poisons to convince me of your
condition.” Bastard! Was the only and I mean only thing going through my
mind. “But it didn’t work! It didn’t work on that son of a bitch and he was left
with nothing to his name but a trail of blood and murder.” He laughed. And
then he was quiet again, the sorrow returning to his eyes and the angry fire
burning its embers brightly behind them. “He tricked me into murdering
Feedlings. Murdering them! If you had asked me less than a few months ago
if I would ever harm let alone attack and kill a young feedling I would have
been outraged and disgusted beyond all rational thought. But now…” he
voice trailed off and he looked so innocent. I wanted again to reach down and
tell him it was okay, it wasn’t his fault. I wanted to tell him I loved him and
everything would be okay… But I knew it wouldn’t. He straightened, and I
saw the courage on his face. “I assisted him every step of the way, and so I
will accept my fate and take responsibility for my actions. I will under go
whatever punishment you see fit. Even if that punishment in turn costs me
my life.”
The room was silent. And I understood all too well why. They were
ready to chain him to there house hold and make him surrender to their will.
But he was not as guity as he seemed. He was tricked by someone he cared
for deeply. Someone I knew he considered friend. But I knew of no one else in
this room with such a knowledge.
“Before all this happened.” I said, breaking the almost unbearable
silence. “How did you feel about Darious? Would you say you considered him
a friend?”
“He was like a brother to me. I would have followed him to the ends of
the earth and back if he had asked so of me. That man gave me a roof over
my head and blood in my belly when I had nothing in this world other than a
suitcase of belongings and the clothes on my back. He treated me like
family…”
“I’ve heard enough.” I said. I held up my left hand. “Sky.”
“Yes my lady?”
“Take the guards and your father to his quarters. From the looks of him
he could do with a good bath and a change of clothes. Oh, but stop through
the cafeteria and get him something to drink.”
“Are… are you sure my lady?”
“Are you questioning me?” the room fell silent again.
“No my lady. As my lady wishes—”
“So shall it be done, yeah, yeah. Please hurry would you? I trust you
have questions for your father that would be best spoken of in private.” He
nodded and bowed, his hand over his heart and left. The guards yanked Isaac
to his feet and I couldn’t help my reaction. “He’s not a bloody rag doll. Treat
him with a little dignity would you?” they looked like scolded children for a
moment before bowing and carrying Isaac out as gingerly as possible.
 I took in a deep breath and stared at the faces sitting around that little
mahogany desk. “I believe I have reached a decision. But I will give you all a
chance to dispute it.” I noted hastily. “Isaac will receive 75 years service to
Sang-Noir for each child that was murdered. I know Isaac, and I know having
to roam the halls of a place in which he had done so much wrong will scar
him in ways you could not possibly imagine. He will have to live the
memories and see the faces of those girls every day and I am almost certain
it will drive him to the brink of insanity.” I swallowed around the lump in my
throat and knitted my hands together in my lap. “Darious on the other hand…
I know not of a punishment great enough to befit him, and murder is not and
never shall be on my table.” I told them. “Eternal imprisonment comes to
mind.” I expected a gasp or to, but strangely my eyes were met with others
holding not but happiness and approval. “He cannot be trusted to roam freely
around others and I know in my heart that if I ever let him go this will happen
again. And I do not want such travesties to ever reoccur.” Matthews hand
came down on my shoulder and I found my own reaching up to squeeze it
tightly. “I am open to suggestions… I would like another’s opinion.”
“The basilisk dungeons sound good to me.” Jonathan Wetly said. “Lock
him in one of those tight little cages and lock away the key.”
“I agree,” said his wife. “The basilisk dungeon was built for devils such
as these; why not use it while we can?”
“The guards at the basilisk dungeons are devil’s them selves” Christian
said. “Sending him to a place like that would be torture.”
“He deserves it!” Samantha Price said. “That demon Murdered our
children and you sit there on your high horse and grant him mercy? Where
was his mercy when he drugged and cut open my Lucy? Where was his
mercy then?” she wasn’t exactly crying, but her voice was wobbling like
crazy.
“If we send him to the basilisk dungeons then we are no better than he
is.”
“I’ve got no problem with that.” I said. They looked at me then, like I’d
sprouted a second head. I tapped Matthews hand and he took it away. I didn’t
need him at the moment, and we were trying to appear strong. “I’ve never
claimed to be a good person, or even a nice person. But I do believe in
Karma. What you do to someone shall be thrust upon you three fold. I think
an eternal sentence in the basilisk dungeons are a fine idea.” I took in a deep
calming breath and let it out. “But we shall vote on it. It is not just my
burden, but yours as well. I would like you all to think for a moment and ask
yourselves if you could truly live with sending a man, be he murdering scum
or not, to the basilisk dungeons where he will spend the rest of his life. I don’t
want any second thoughts or hard feelings. I would like us to all come to a
harmonious solution.”
It was quiet for a moment.
Jonathan Wetly held up his right hand and said. “I vote for his
imprisonment.”
“As do I” said Georgina as she held up her own right hand.
“I vote against it.” said Vincent Price. Samantha, Christian and Sierra
all murmured agreements.
“We vote for his imprisonment.” Lord Jonathan said. Great. A fifty/fifty
vote.
 “It seems I shall have to cast the breaking vote.” I sighed and leaned
back in my chair. “I too vote for the imprisonment of Darious, Sang-Noirs
head Physician.” Those who had raised their hands dropped them smiling,
and those who had voted against it seemed indifferent.
“Then it is decided. Matthew,” I called.
“Yes my lady?”
“I trust you’ll see to it so that all the arrangements are in order.”
“Yes my lady.”
I stood from my chair and the others followed. “Thank you for meeting
me here today. The school has many vacant rooms and I am certain you are
welcomed to them if that is your wish. But I must bid you good night.” I left
quickly and without delay. I didn’t want to stay in that room any longer, and if
you were me, you’d understand why.
 Being a Vampire
Chapter Five Part Five
Goodbyes Always Suck

I couldn’t help myself. The second I was free of that room I knew I had
to find him. I knew I had to run and find a way into his arms just one final
time. I couldn’t bear to leave it at that… because I knew I would leave soon…
and I knew he couldn’t come with me. I would have Matthew for company,
but as wonderful as Matthew is he cant compete with my lover, my Isaac.
Matthew was like a constant shadow as I ran threw the halls of Sang-
Noir. The halls and endless stairwells all blurred together until I made it to his
door. I opened it without thinking and burst in on two soldiers and a
distraught kid… but no Isaac. Sky was perched on the edge of the bed, trying
to hold back tears while one guard kept watch on the bathroom door and the
second stared straight ahead at us.
“Get out.” I ordered.
“Princess?” the guards asked in unison.
“I said Get out! Do not make me repeat myself.” He bowed and hustled
on out the door. Sky didn’t move. “He’s in there?” I asked Sky as I pointed to
the bathroom. He nodded. “Good.” I stripped off my blazer and threw it to the
foot of the bed, taking off my stockings, shoes and tie before Matthew spoke
up.
“Are you going in there with him?” he asked.
“It’s not like it’ll be the first time I’ve seen him naked you know.” I
knew Matthew hated the idea of Isaac with me at all let alone naked, but I
wasn’t in the mood to put up with his stupid jealousy. I stripped off my shirt
and skirt and tossed them to the floor. I didn’t mind getting my underwear
wet, but I was going to need my uniform dry if I was going to leave this room
in any respectable shape. “Don’t fret. I won’t fuck him if that’s what you’re
worried about.” I couldn’t keep the spite out of my voice as I said it, no
matter how hard I tried. Just because I was aware of Matthews hate didn’t
mean I had to approve of it.
I opened the bathroom door and locked it behind me before either of
them could mutter a single word. Isaac didn’t even flinch. He was standing
with his back to the door, his forearms and forehead resting against the
shower wall as the water pounded down on his back, changing it from its
simple beautiful white into a deep harsh red. I could feel the tears spring to
my eyes.
I opened the shower door with an audible squeak, and still… nothing. I
closed the door behind me and stood there for a moment, less than half a
meter away and yet it felt as if we were on different planets. I rested my
hand on his back and felt him flinch violently.
“Isaac?” I asked. He flinched at the sound of my voice and I was
contemplating jumping out of the shower if it would make him feel better.
“You must hate me.” He whispered. “Your Sire’s a lying murderer…
how could you ever look at me again without hating me?”
“Oh Isaac… turn around.” It took him a moment, but he did, as much
as it pained him, he did it. His face was coated in the blood from his tears and
I couldn’t help the few that fell from my own eyes. “Isaac, you’ve made some
terrible mistakes and I won’t deny when I first heard about them… I was
disgusted.” He bowed his head, partly from the fatigue of it all and partly
because he wanted to hide his tears from me. But even as he bowed his head
I was still staring up at him. “But that was before I gave you a chance to
explain.” I said. “You did what you did out of love and loyalty. They weren’t
malicious acts either, as misguided as it was, you at least desensitized them.
They felt no pain.” I reached my hand up to his cheek and made him look at
me.
Even now his beauty amazed me. Those eyes had always seemed so
dark and fathomless, they held a kind of depth I had never seen before, they
were the first thing I’d ever fell in love with, and they were the most beautiful
part of him. Don’t get me wrong, the rest of him was more impressive than
anyone I’d ever seen before… but those eyes captured me. “Isaac, I love you
and nothing is ever going to change that, no matter what happens between
us.”
I stretched up and kissed his forehead. He crumpled then, the tears
falling in a way I would have never believed possible coming from a man like
my Isaac. But never the less, they feel. He cried and I held him. I held my Sire
as he wept over his folly, crying his apology into the crook of my neck as he
kissed whatever part of me he could reach.
I took the time to wash his hair, lathering it in a soft silky shampoo and
watching as the bubbly shampoo turned from a white to a greasy brown,
letting the water fall threw his short brown hair. I picked up the soap and
covered him in its thin filmy texture. There was nothing sexual about it; it felt
more like a cleansing. Washing away the tears and the filth, but also the sins
and regrets his soul harbored.
I didn’t want him to feel haunted for the rest of his life; if I could I
would make it so that he would never have to feel pain again. But I couldn’t. I
was destined to be queen, not God. And the kind of forgiveness Isaac was
looking for could come from only one person… and that person wasn’t me. No
matter how much I wanted it to be.
It wasn’t sexual the way he looked at me as we toweled off, it was
grateful and kind… but I saw the tortured look behind it all. There was a
sorrow I could never wipe away, the same sorrow I had seen to often in
Mathews eyes.
“You should take a week off.” I told him.
The ghost of a smile touched his lips, the kind I was now accustomed
to seeing adorns Matthews’s lips, I didn’t like that smile. “And what would I
do with a week of free time?”
“I do know, pray, meditate, something. All I know is that you need to
take the time to make peace with your past. I won’t lie, it could take years or
you may never forgive yourself… but you have to try.” I took his hand in mine
and threaded them together. “The man I feel in love with would want to try.”
He leaned down and kissed my lips gently.
He stared into my eyes, his regret and sorrow weighing heavier than I
had ever seen from my lover. “The man you love no longer exists.”
“Yes he does.” I stroked his face and rested my head against his. “He’s
just grieving.” We stayed like that for a moment before I pulled away to wrap
a towel around myself and retrieve my clothes. Sky was asleep on the bed
and Matthew… well Matthew was being Matthew.
I picked up my clothes and dressed as quickly as I could. I didn’t know
where I was going to go or why, all I knew was that when I did do whatever it
was I was planning to do I wanted to be clothed while doing it. When I was
finished I sat on the end of the bed, my gaze shifting between the two men
who had sworn themselves to me and felt at a loss.
“Well now what?”
“I believe there are arrangements I need to have prepared for Isaac
and Darious. The Paris trip still needs to be finalized and I have to make sure
our guests have met with their designated rooms.”
“Would Sky be of any help?” I asked.
“I believe it would be best if Sky slept off the trauma today’s events
have brought. Don’t fret Princess, I will make sure everything is attended to
and prepared appropriately.” I nodded and watched as he excused himself.
“Paris?” Isaac asked once Matthew was out of hearing distance.
“Yeah, Paris… There’s a school being formed up there at the moment
and Mr. Blake wants someone he can trust to help build the schools
foundations. He trusts Matthew, and I’m pretty much the biggest publicity
stunt he could wish for, so were going over for a while. I’m not sure how long
I’ll be gone actually… but I’d guess it’ll be at least a semester, if not a full
year.”
“Can you speak French?” he asked.
“Well, kind of. I took lessons when I was human, and I’ve been taking
lessons here too… it’s not that hard really. I never had problems with learning
before, why would I suddenly have them now?”
He nodded and we were quiet, but it wasn’t a comfortable silence like I
had come to like with Isaac, it was an awkward tense silence I hated.
“I’ll be gone a long time…” I whispered.
“Kayla,” he walked over to me and sat down on the bed. He pulled me
against his chest and looped our hands together so that they were resting my
lap and my head was gently cradled between his pecks. “A year’s not so long.
Just think; you’ll be back in my arms and nestled safely beneath my covers
before you even realize you left to begin with.”
“But what if it’s longer than a year, or they send me to another
country? I don’t want to be without you forever Isaac.”
“If that happens then I will come with you.” He said.
“You can’t. Your punishment is serving 75 consecutive years for each
child you… that died by your hands. That’s 300years.” He was quiet for a
moment, the severity of his punishment sinking in. “I can’t stay at the
Academy forever Isaac. If I’m going to be Queen…” I trailed off.
“We’ll make it work. I promise you Kayla, we’ll find a way.” He held me
and kissed trails from my shoulder to my earlobe and back again, all the
while whispered sweet little nothings.
“Its not like Christian and the other vampires will be watching to make
sure you carry out your full sentence. Maybe you could serve part of your
sentence in France... just for a little while. It’s not like they can really say
anything about it. I mean, come on if I’m going to be Queen I might as well
abuse what little power I actually have.”
 He was quiet for a moment; weight the pros and cons as he did. “If we
have no other options, we shall follow such a plan.”
I stood from the bed and took his hand in mine, “Come. Stay with me
tonight, I think Sky’s capable of manning your bed for a night.” He looked at
me, not with lust, but with a much deeper emotion. It was not love as I
perceived it; it was something deeper than that, something I wasn’t sure I
couldn’t return.
“To be in the arms of a woman able to forgive the devil himself… you
give love as if it were flowers.” He took my hand and kissed its back. “And
the devil did fall for such a woman, who gave flowers to him freely. But the
devil cannot hold flowers for they burn to ash within his grasp. And yet the
devil yearns for a flower he can hold, to bask in its beauty and be comforted
by its fragrance. But there will come a day when such a lady no longer
harbors flowers, and the devil will find him self shunned by such a woman.
And so the devil shall shun her first, and all shall once again be right with the
world. For the devil will never deserve such a woman’s flowers.” He kissed
my hand once again, and let it fall to my side. “Such it is prophesied in the
book of Eleanor. I am your devil Kayla, I will forever steel your flowers and
they shall forever be burnt to ash in my hand. One day you will tire of me,
even if now you feel as if that could never happen.”
“W-what are you saying? You don’t like flowers?” I knew what he was
getting at, I knew what he was about to say. But I didn’t want to believe it. I
didn’t want to even think it. But despite my mental denial, I felt the tears slip
down my cheeks.
“Your flowers are the only things that keep me going… but I love you
enough to know you’ll be better off without me.”
“No! No you can’t do this!” I said stubbornly, the tears were streaming
now as I fell to my knees in front of him. “You’re not leaving me. I won’t let
you.”
“Kayla—”
“No! No don’t even try to tell me this is what’s best for me. This is the
worst idea you’ve ever had! You’re my Sire Isaac, were bonded for Christ
sake! You can’t just leave me… you can’t let me slip away…” my head came
down to his knees and my nails tore into the fabric of his pants. “You can’t do
this to me…”
His hands held my head as he bombarded me with butterfly kisses, all
the time hushing me as he went. “Don’t you see? Don’t you see Kayla? I’m
doing this for you not to you. I love you enough to stay away from you.”
“If you truly loved me, you’d never let me go.”
He pulled me up and into his lap and I looped my hands around his
neck, squeezing him to me for dear life. “I won’t fight you on this Kayla… I’ve
made up my mind…” we held each other like that for what seemed like
hours, and all the while Sky slept soundly. I’d give anything to be able to do
that, to have no worries, nothing to keep me from a peaceful sleep.
I should have expected him to leave me sooner; I should have known I
wasn’t good enough for him. I should have been ready for this kind of
heartbreak… but I wasn’t. I’d left myself so vulnerable, I had no shields were
Isaac was concerned. I… I had thought I could give him my every thing and
still walk away unhurt. I was wrong, but I was never going to let him go now. I
couldn’t, I’d hang on for as long as I could and never regret it.
 “Just… just give me until I leave for Paris. Don’t deny me that much…
please Isaac… please…” For once it wasn’t Isaac rocking me; it was the other
way around. I held onto him for dear life and all he did was sit there, hands at
his sides… Why? Wasn’t I good enough? Was I just a good fuck he thought he
could throw away… or…
“I can’t do it Kayla. You know how much harder it’ll be for you to leave
if I say yes. I won’t do that to you.”
“Why?” I asked the agony in my voice stronger than anything I’ve ever
heard before. “Why are you doing this to me?”
He pulled my face from the crook of his neck and forced me to stare
into his eyes. There was no love their, no feeling. Just cold. It felt as if we
were strangers, and… he was trying to tell me…“Because I don’t want you
anymore.”
That was the final heartbreaking blow. And the second I heard his
words… the tears stopped. He set me down at the edge of his bed and left.
He didn’t say anything; he just turned from me… and left.
It was over.
The brief ray of sunlight I had thought found me was gone. My safe
haven has turned from me… there was nothing but darkness for me now. I
didn’t cry… I couldn’t. You have to be able to feel to cry… because sadness is
an emotion. And me? …I was hollow, completely hollow. There was no room
for heartbreak and there was no room for tears. Mostly because I was empty
of either, I was empty of everything… except cold; a deep dark cold that
froze every part of my soul.
I got to my feet and headed out the door. If someone had asked me
where I was going, I wouldn’t have been able to answer. I just knew I couldn’t
be in that room anymore. So I ran. Just ran.
The
Dark
Side
 Being a Vampire
Chapter Six Part One
No?

I found myself running through the forests that surrounded Sang-Noir. I

didn’t know where I was going, or even why I was running anymore. All I
knew was that I had to push myself as far as I could and never turn back. I
didn’t want any of this any more. I hadn’t even wanted it to begin with. I
hadn’t wanted anything… all I’d wanted was to be free of my father and that
god forsaken school.
The forests surrounding Sang-Noir were either incredibly smaller than I
had thought or I was a hell of a lot faster than any marathon runner I’ve ever
met… either way it wasn’t a far enough distance for me to cover. I took off
my blazer and tied it around my waist. I was a vampire and I knew I couldn’t
sweat but still, old habits die hard.
I kept running and tried to slow my speed to that of… well what I
hoped appeared to be at least human. I wasn’t on vampire ground anymore.
This land belonged to humans… it felt strange to think I had once been
human myself. I had once been one of these stupid dull creatures.
I hadn’t noticed until it was too late that I was heading straight into
town. I knew it was risky; the streets were bad enough during the day, but
this late at night? I was asking for trouble. I ran all the way past the local mall
and started down my own neighborhood, or as most of civilized society had
dubbed it, the crack pot end of town. I was running by the water sized when I
caught that scent… that glorious nourishing scent of flowers and cherry ripe,
chocolate and ice-cream… I turned and walked towards the glorious scent. A
group of guys not a whole lot older than myself were standing around a
bonfire, talking, drinking and smoking something I was certain the police
would consider illegal.
One of the taller men spotted me and started nudging and whispering
to his friends. Soon enough the whole group was staring at me.
“Hey now aint you a pretty little thang,” he came over and circled me,
his scent wafted in the air around him… He smelt so good. He smelt like lilacs
and tulips, and sugary sweet things… but most of all he smelt like… he smelt
like food. I shivered and gave a little moan as I breathed in his scent.
“Oh my god! Dude! That’s that frickin’ albino bitch from Valentine high
right? Damn, Heath’s bitch always went on about her but she never
mentioned her being this hot!” one of his comrades said. The guy circling me
stood in front of me, towering over me at around the same height Matthew
would.
“We should test her out then eh boys?”
I reached up and stroked the side of his face, he had rough skin, like he
hadn’t shaven for a couple says. His eyes were a simple chocolate brown that
matched his raggedy greased up hair. He had high cheek bones and looked a
hell of a lot skinnier than was healthy for a growing boy. I guessed he was
homeless.
But none of that mattered to me. I was mesmerized by his scent, I
imagined biting into his skin and tasting the beautiful liquor I knew lay
beneath it. I imagined taking him down with a single strike and knowing he’d
be powerless against me.
“You want a taste?” I asked. He grinned down at me and moved just
that little bit closer, that inch of distance that determined friendly or fuckable
in less than a second.
“Hell yeah I want a taste.” He said. He leaned down and kissed me. He
kissed me the way I was used to, the strong over powering dominance
pressing down on me as he tried to jam his tongue so far down my throat I’d
be in danger of swallowing it. I was use to this from men. Who needed Isaac
when I had this? Reality. His hands came up to cup my breast and I let my
mouth slip from his. I kissed a trail down his neck itching ever closer to that
one perfect spot… I could feel his heart beating and the flow of blood through
his veins and I smoothed my hands down his arms and tasted the banquette
of flesh below my teeth. He tasted so good, I could feel my fangs extending
as far as they went. I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“My turn” I bit down into the soft flesh of his skin and heard him moan
in ecstasy as I fed from him. He tasted better than anything I’d ever eaten.
Synthetic was good, and feeding from Isaac had made my mind go straight to
sex. But feeding from this man, this creature was different. It was better. I
could feel the life being sucked from his soul and absorbed into my body. I
could feel the blood racing through my veins and joining with my muscles to
make me stronger than ever before. His heartbeat became my own, and just
as I started to enjoy it… it stopped. There was no more blood and the
creature I held in my hands was even scrawnier and paler than before. I
dropped his corpse to the floor and smiled at the petrified boys, too scared to
even wet their pants. “So,” I asked. “Who’s next?”

I laughed as the fifth and final weakling struggled to push me away,

swinging and kicking as furiously as he could. But it was no use; I was
stronger than any human could ever hope to be. I was faster and smarter
than these feeble creatures. And as I fed from the last poor bastard I could
feel his very soul. I felt his breath and the beating of his heart almost as if it
were my own. I could taste his fear and hear the terror in his screams. And
then he went quiet… and the blood came to a stop.
But I was sated now.
I pushed away the shriveled corpse of the once viral teenage boy and
rolled along the dirty ground on my back, savoring the last few drops of his
blood that still lingered on the tip of my tongue. I stroked over my now
distended stomach. I’d never felt such contentment before in my life. Even a
night with Isaac paled in comparison to this, this quiet bliss which filled my
ears with quiet whispers and sent a gentle buzzing through my body. My
body tingled with excitement as I pushed my self up from the ground and
cleared the lot in a single bound. It was making me stronger. Beautiful.
I danced circles around the shriveled corpses, all the while smiling and
laughing to myself. This feeling was maddening, so perfect, so freeing, it was
like ecstasy on drugs. I could feel ever fiber of my body, and the way it felt… I
was invincible.
“Cassie! Cassie come lookie what I found! Cassie!” I could hear a little
girl calling, but I didn’t care. If these boys could be taken care of this easily, a
child would be no problem. “Cassie! Someone ate my catch! Cassie, lookie!” I
turned to see a little girl, no older than seven or eight standing on the side
walk tapping her foot at her impatience. She was dressed in a cute little white
dress, the kind you might find in old fashioned black and white pictures
complete with a little white umbrella. Her blonde curls and round face made
me think of Shirley Temple…
A light breeze whipped through my hair, and carried her scent to my
nose. Eh! She smelled horrible. Like sour apples and spoiled milk on a hot
summers day. She wasn’t human… but she wasn’t like me. She didn’t smell
like Isaac or Matthew or any of the other vampires at the castle. She just
smelt… bad.
I cringed away from her, and grimaced at the impatient child. “You
smell wrong.” I muttered. “What are you?” She walked towards me, or at
least it looked like walking to me. To any human they wouldn’t have been
able to see her movement, their brains couldn’t process what they were
seeing fast enough to make sense of it. Her sent filled my nostrils and it was
all I could do not to vomit.
“I’m a vampire.” She told me.
“No your not, you don’t smell like us.” I stepped back from her to get
away from the awful scent. “You smell like…”
“Death.”
“No, just bad.” I pointed to the bodies lying on the ground. “Their dead
and they still smell good.”
“Mia stop playing around. Were late enough as it is, if you don’t hurry
up Ed will have our asses in a sling. You can eat when we get there.” An older
girl closer to my age came running our way. She was dressed in a red corset
top with black lace and a full length black skirt. Her hair was a shade of red
that no one could have naturally and her eyes… they were similar to my own;
red, but speckled with small dots of violet.
“Tell me what you are.” I demanded. “You’re not like me, what are
you?”
“Who the hell is this?” the older girl, Cassie I assumed, asked.
Mia held her hands out and glared at Cassie. “How should I know? I just
came down here to make sure no one was messing with my dinner and I
found her dancing around the lot of them! Drained! She drained five of the
buggers all by herself! Greedy old piggy.”
“Watch your mouth you little bitch, or I swear I’ll make sure you never
speak again.” holly crap, did I say that? “Smelly little beasts, go away!”
“You always find the nicest friends.” Cassie said. She turned to me and
smiled. “Ignore my little sister; she can be a real pain in the ass.”
 “I use to have a sister…” I shook my head, so not a conversation to
have with strangers. “What are you?”
“Vampires. Real vampires. You’re from that freaky little castle out in
the forest right? The one with all those pathetic nobles?” I nodded. “Were not
like them. We don’t drink that gross synthetic crap they force feed you kids,
we hunt. Eddie says we were born this way for a reason, I mean, they say
man has no predators but that’s a lode of bullshit. We’re the predators and
were keeping the balance of nature. Those deluded little friends of yours are
trying to be all tree hugging and what not.”
“Doesn’t matter though, just mean’s we can eat more often, right sis?”
Cassie smiled down at her little sister. “Right.”
“So, who are you then?”
“Oh oopsie, I feel so rude now.” She stuck out her hand. “Names
Cassandra Beakheart but every one calls me Cassie, and this is my little
sister, Mia Turner. She’s not technically my little sister, but well, she’s my
coven sister and that’s close enough for me. ” I liked the way she looked at
her sister. It turned her eyes warm, and the smile that perched on her lips
was soft and sweet. “And what’s your name?”
“I am Made Vampire Princess Kayla Stone.” Her eyes went wide and
little Mia gasped.
“Really!? A Made Vampire! Oh. My. God. Eddie will DIE to meet you!
You so have to come to the coven mansion! Everyone’s going to freak!”
“No. I think not.” The thought of standing in a room filled with these
smelly creatures was not my idea of a fun time.
“But you have to! Where else are you going to meet one of your own?”
“My own what?”
“Silly.” She mock slapped my arm and laughed. “Eddies one of the
Turned too! He’s been around for like ages! Like 700 years or something!”
“If he was one of my own then he would be King and I wouldn’t be
here.”
“No way! We’ve never had Kings before! Dah! It’s a woman’s job, men
don’t count.” I paused for a moment as she waited for some form of reply.
More of me? I wasn’t alone?
“Is… is he the only Turned you know?” I asked.
“Well, nah, not really. I mean, he’s our coven leader and like all the
coven leaders are Turned so, well, like, you know. ”
None of this had ever been covered in any of my normal classes. Not
even Extension Vampire History. They had said only women had ever ruled…
but they hadn’t ever mentioned covens or Turned Males or anything like this.
“Then what do you call yourselves?”
“Well we just call ourselves vampires. But I guess all of your snooty
friends call us The Tainted or The Damned. Royal Vampires can be so mean.”
“Yeah, they can be.” I mused. I remember when I first came to the
castle I had hated them. They were all so… stiff. And to think I’d become one
of them. I wasn’t sure if it was the blood or the fact I was finally able to be on
my own, but I suddenly hated the idea of being on of them. The thought of
being… Eh! I shivered with disgust.
“So you’ll come to the coven then?” Cassie asked.
Eh what the hell, I’ve come this far, I might as well cross all the way
over. It’s not like Matthew or Isaac would want me back anytime soon once
they’d found out what I’d done. “Why not?” I gave in. Cassie squealed in
excitement.
“Oh my god! Eddie is going to be like Uber Excited! Seriously, and he’s
like never excited about anything, he’s so laid back its like not even funny.” I
smirked. Might be a nice change of pace, Matthew was always so serious and
Isaac… well Isaac and Matthew were a hell of a lot alike.
“Cassie I’m still hungry.” Mia complained.
“You can eat when you get to the coven mansion I told you already.”
“But Cassie.” Mia wined.
I smiled down at her. She reminded me so much of my own little sister,
the sister I use to have… I shook away the thought and pointed my arm out in
front of Cassandra. “Lead the way.” I instructed. She beamed and took Mia’s
hand in hers and before I could mutter another word, we were off and running
to an unknown destination, or at least, it was to me.

The girls had led me to, sadly, exactly what I had imagined. A huge
empty mansion surrounded by, you guessed it, a graveyard.
“It might be nice if the head of your coven didn’t give in to every
vampire cliché ever invented. Do you cower from crosses and garlic too?”
“Hardly! Look,” she pushed her hair out of the way and showed me a
small tattoo behind her ear. It was a single Celtic cross with wings behind it,
beautiful butterfly like wings with lightning bolt like shapes that jotted out at
different angels.
“It’s our coven symbol. All of us who choose to be one of the Damned
and adopt a coven have to get it. Well, they get their coven symbol not this
one, you know.” I nodded, well; at least I’d be able to tell if I ever suspected
someone close to me was one of the Damned.
“Cool.” I said. I didn’t say it because I was impressed or anything, I said
it because it was expected. I hate those moments, the moments were you
really don’t want to say anything, but you mutter the niceties because it’s
expected of you.
She smiled at me and dropped her hair back down. Whatever. My body
was still tingling, but right now I wasn’t sure whether it was from the blood, or
from the fact I was about to meet one of my own, a Turned…
“So how many covens are there?” I asked.
“Hundreds! And Eddie throws this huge ball for all the coven leaders
and some of the Lycanthrope Clan leaders.”
“Lycanthrope? What’s that?”
“Werewolves! Dah!”
“Holy shit! There are werewolves?”
“Your not really smart are you?” said the vampire bimbo who dresses
like a Goth and acts like a frickin Barbie doll. She knocked on the huge gothic
wooden doors making an eerie echo. Eh, does everything have to be so drab
in the vampire world? The doors opened and behind it stood a tall beautiful
blonde, Russian if I’m not mistaken.
“You’re late.” She said, yep, Russian Accent.
“Yeah, well we were getting a present for Eddie; I think he’ll forgive us
when he sees what we found.”
“So I take it I’m the present?” Cassie smiled over at me weakly.
 “Well, umm, kind of. Oh look I’m sorry, but it’s not like their going to
hurt you or anything, really. Eddie would never hurt a woman, really… I
think.”
“You think? Well that’s just great.”
The Blonde Russian “Come, Master is waiting.” Cassie ushered me
through and Mia followed close behind her eyes glued to the ground.
“Why do you need a gift?” I whispered.
“Well, were late and I umm… well I was out late one night with a
human and I kind of lost track of time. Eddie figured something was wrong
when I didn’t show up for report so he came and got me out of the sun before
it rose to midday.”
“So I take it your pretty bloody lucky I came along when I did now
aren’t you. You know I really don’t like being taken advantage of.”
Cassandra’s eyes went wide and I couldn’t help but smile. “But I think I can
forgive you this one time. Besides, I don’t think your Eddie would like it if I
killed one of his coven members, am I correct?”
“Yeah, I think he’d be pretty pissed. I hope…” I laughed at her
awkwardness. I don’t know why but I got the feeling Cassie had a thing for
her ‘Master’. We passed through multiple rooms, the further we went the
larger the number of vampires all dressed in the same kind of depressing
attire as Cassandra. Mia was the only one who stood out, and that was mostly
because she was actually wearing white. A few of the men here and there
were wearing white shirts but other than that, it was mostly blacks, blood
reds and sapphire blues. I felt at least border line up to code with the color
trend. Well, my skirt and fishnet stockings worked… but school shirts…
hmmm… not right for this kind of a meeting I guess. But then again, beggars
can’t be choosers now can they?
The second we crossed into the last room I was startled by someone
shouting. “Where the hell have you been!?” the entire room was crawling
with the damned, and ever last one of them were staring at me. Not Cassie or
Mia, but me. I guess outsiders aren’t exactly welcome.
The room was decorating much in the same fashion as the rest of the
house. A very classic Gothic Victorian look, keeping to the basic depressing
color pallet all vampires seemed strangely fond of. I liked my dark colors
don’t get me wrong, but black isn’t the only color on earth you know, a little
splash of color here and there probably isn’t going to kill you.
Cassandra squared her shoulders, obviously hating the undivided
attention her fellow damned were giving her and said in a loud clear voice.
“We have brought you a gift.” I looked around the room to eventually fix my
gaze to a raised stage like structure supporting two very beautiful, very
extravagant, gothic thrown like chairs, and in the bigger, more elaborate
chair… sat a man.
He seemed more man than vampire, his skin held more color and I
didn’t feel that instant motherly connection. What I felt was deeper than that;
it rivaled what I had felt for Isaac. A slow smile spread across his luscious lips
and the second his eyes met mine everything else melted away. He was
breath taking. His plain white shirt was open and his lean yet strong form was
displayed as if only for my eyes. I smiled to myself, with his plain black pants
and white shirt we almost kind of matched.
“She is—”
 “I know perfectly well who and what she is.” The glorious man snapped
at Cassandra. She bit her lip and gazed at the floor. He stood from his thrown
and jumped off his stage. The crowed of vampires shifted like the red sea as
he made his way towards me.
“I apologize, Master.” Cassandra said once he had made it to us.
“Think nothing of it.” He waved her off and Cassandra tugged Mia
away from me and blended into the crowd. “Kayla… I have heard much of
you my dear.” His voice was like the cool side of a silk pillow on a hot
summer night. It gave a kind of relief I’d never known before, mostly because
I had never known it existed.
I reached out towards him and cupped the side of his face. I could hear
the gasps and whispering go out among the crowd, but strangely, it didn’t
bother me as much as it had when I first arrived at the castle. From they way
the crowd talked I’d have thought he’s smack away my hand, or hell, maybe
even bite me, but no. He leaned into my hand and took in the scent of my
blood as his nose caressed my wrist. I saw the tips of his fangs run down but
instead of disgust or horror, I felt, admittedly, turned on.
He brought his own hand up to my face and I copied his actions. I could
have moaned in ecstasy from his scent. He smelt like a sweet perfume of fine
wines I had yet to sample, and all matter of sweet fruits not yet discovered by
man. He smelt like warmth and fire, passion and all kinds of lustrous things.
But underneath all that was the fine smell… of home… family. I slid my hand
into the beautiful tendrils of his hair and marveled at the feel of his silken
locks.
I smiled from the depths of my heart and felt the tears spring to my
eyes. “I thought I was the only one of our kind.” I admitted. He sobered
slightly and leaned in to kiss my forehead. The feel of his lips pressed against
my skin felt like heaven on earth.
“You’re not alone anymore.” He whispered. I let out a breath I hadn’t
known I’d been holding and he pulled me into his arms. It felt strangely right
to be in his arms. His skin was soft and smooth beneath my fingers, but his
arms were strong and protective as he held me against him. He was like a
fortress only I could enter; a sanctuary for me and me alone. “Come” he
leaned back and smiled. “Sit with me.”
He took my hand and led me through the crowd of vampires. They
stared at me, but it was not the same stare my vampires had given me. They
stared at me with part curiosity, part adoration. My vampires had been
cautious and fearful, but completely loyal. I saw no loyalty in these eyes, but
then again, I didn’t hold any power here. I had earned no ones trust; I had
done nothing for these people, so why should they hold any loyalty for me.
He leaped up onto the stage with ease and extended a hand. I
surprised the both of us by slapping away his hand with a smile and jumping
with ease on my own. “I maybe a woman but that doesn’t make me
completely vulnerable. After all, I’m queen remember?” he chuckled and sat
down in his thrown.
He cast his hand towards the smaller thrown to his right hand said,
“Please, sit.” I sat down with a smile and looked over the crowd to see they’d
already returned to their festivities. “Looking for anything in particular?” he
asked.
 “It’s so different… there so… carefree. I mean, there’s no bowing, no
resignation… their just people.”
“Is that a good or a bad thing?” he asked.
“Neither, I guess, it’s just… different.” He smiled and looked over his
coven. But then I realized it, they weren’t his subjects or his people… he
looked at them more like family. A group of people he was responsible for
and would do anything to take care of. Why else would he have gone through
so much trouble when Cassandra had been caught out with humans in
daylight? Why else would he have care that she was late… oh crap. Maybe
Cassandra’s crush wasn’t as one sided as I thought. Damn.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“3 minutes after I walk through the door and you ask me if I like your
coven.” I laughed. “I don’t think I have an opinion yet.” I leaned back in the
chair and smiled. “But I enjoyed the feast.”
“How old are you Kayla?”
“In vampire years or human years?”
“Both.” He decided.
“Well, I was 16 when I was turned and that was about a month ago I
guess, give or take.”
“You seem older.”
I looked over at him and smiled. “Physically or Mentally?”
“Both.”
I laughed again. “Well, I matured early and I guess… when your
expected to be queen you have to be ready to tackle just about anything,
mentally or physically, people can throw at you.”
“How can you stand living with them? Their so ridged, so lifeless.”
I laughed. “Were all lifeless remember? It’s one of the main definitions
for Vampire.”
“Yea, but we at least can think for ourselves. I do not rule my coven,
nor does anyone rule me. We are a family, and I am their father, their
protector.”
I smiled over at him. “So, are you a single parent or is there a Mrs. I
should be worried about?”
He grinned back, his fangs still clearly evident as he did so. “No, there
is no woman in my bed, not yet at least.” I giggled and looked back over the
crowd. They had started drifting through the doors and the numbers grew
smaller and smaller by the second.
“Where are they going?” I asked.
“The sun is nearing and my children are in need of much rest. When
vampires live the lifestyle we do, they become especially susceptible to
sunlight. It is strange, I seem to derive more power from feeding off of the
humans, where as the others seem to grow weaker. Perhaps it is simply one
of the blessings being one of the Turned brings us.”
“Or perhaps it is a curse. Not quite vampire but not quite human
either, shunned and loved in both worlds and yet conflicted between the two.
It makes us very secluded people.” I sighed and got to my feet. “I should
probably be getting back to the Academy.” He stood and came towards me,
closing the distance between us. He laced his fingers through a few silken
hairs and used a smile that should be illegal in all the worst ways.
 “Stay with us,” he said, his scent filling my nose and I melted yet
again. “Just for tonight.”
“Just for tonight?”
He cupped the side of my face, running his silken fingers over my
check and leaned in as if he were to kiss me. “You can stay as long as you
want.” He whispered. As long as I wanted…
“Yes…” his lips closed that final inch of distance and came to rest
lightly on my own. His lips are soft and warm and yet firm and strong. It was
the kind of sensation you read about, that over powering sense of lust that
filled and conquered all your senses. He was gentle at first, he tested me,
teased me, left me begging for more. And when I asked for it, he gave it to
me. He swept me off my feet and carried me to his quarters.
He is, and forever will be, my ecstasy.

Being a Vampire
Chapter Six Part Two
Angel?

I blinked into consciousness to find Edward smiling down at me, his

hand entangled in a few loose stands of my hair as he swept it from my sleep
ridden face.
“How long have you been watching me?” I asked.
“A while.” I smiled at him and pulled the covers tighter around my
chest.
I gazed around the dim candle lit room in search of something that
would give away the time, I failed. “What’s the time?” I’d found his quarters
to be yet another thing I loved about Edward. The room was painted a
beautiful blood red and decorated with splashes of black and gold. His
furniture was all antique and the four poster bed with silk sheets and real fur
blankets was heaven to sleep in.
“About 9 I suppose…”
“Wow, I haven’t slept that well in ages.” I pushed myself up into a
sitting position and got out of the bed, attempting to retrieve the remainders
of my much forgotten clothing from last nights escapades.
“Then perhaps your bodies trying to tell you something”
I laughed and turned to him “Like I need a new mattress?” I picked up
my still in tack underwear and dressed as quickly as I could.
 “That… or your body understands it’s better off here, with me.” The
way he said it made me hesitate for a moment.
“No.”
“No what?”
“No it’s not telling me that.” I grabbed my shirt and slipped it over my
head as I turned to him. “I can’t stay, I shouldn’t have stayed this morning
either… but I guess I can’t do anything about that now.” I picked up my skirt
and slipped into it as I spoke. “I have responsibilities and a duty to my
vampires… I couldn’t stay even if I wanted to, Matthew and Isaac would find
me eventually anyway.” I walked over to his antique Mirror to fix my hair and
gasped at what I saw reflected to me. “Holly shit!” My hair had turned a
bright fiery red and my eyes were no longer their clear ruby red… they had
turned violet, real violet. I pulled up a lock of my hair and examined it… it
was red, bright bloody ruby red. The mirror wasn’t faulty… Oh Shit!
Edward was standing behind me now, gazing over me with a content
blissful look in his eyes “You are one of us Kayla. Human blood has awoken
your true spirit.” He rested his hands on my shoulders and looked at me
through the mirror. “Your spirit is spectacular.” He smiled and wrapped his
arms around my waist “’The death of a tormented human will spark the rise
of the Forsaken Vampire Queen and the blood of five will send her to the
arms of a Kiss.’ You drank from five homeless males last night, correct
lover?”
I took in a deep breath and let it out. Its okay, Matthew will figure
something out, he always does. Its okay, just think calming thoughts… But I
couldn’t think calming thoughts at a time like this. “I need to leave.” I pushed
his hands away and buckled my shoes as quickly as I could.
“And where will you go? You think those sappy human loving Vampires
will honestly take you back after they find out what you’ve done? Your one of
us Kayla, your one of the Damned now, a Forsaken Vampire Princess.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No that can’t be the end of it. I’m not like you and you’re… children.” I
wasn’t going to accept that. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be expelled from two worlds;
I couldn’t take the endless rejection.
“Then tell me what you smelt on my skin? Tell me you weren’t begging
to eat me.” The mischievous glint in his eyes was all I needed to know he was
thinking of that term in two completely different contexts. “Tell me you don’t
want to taste me even now.” He came down on his knees if not of me and
kissed my hands. “Tell me I don’t smell any different than last night.” I
wanted to say it, I wanted to tell him that’s how it was… but I could smell him
even now.
The smell of food was gone from his skin, and the lust no longer held to
me… but he smelt like firewood and the cold rain of reality. He wasn’t sweet
or loving anymore… but he still smelt like home. Beneath it all he still smelt
like home. I felt a small tear trickle down my cheek.
I knew then in that moment that it was all true. I couldn’t go back from
this, couldn’t turn into the purity I once thought I was. No one would accept
me after this. Isaac had already turned from me and Sky will probably follow
by his father’s example, even if his father is now a convicted felon. It’s only a
matter of time before Matthew follows suit.
 “Why?” I whispered.
“We need a queen more than they do Kayla. Surely you’ve heard of the
prophecies, but what you have been told is not all there is to be heard.” He
brought my hands to his lips and kissed them gently. “It is said that one day
a woman shall come about, a Vampire Princess. She will learn the Chosen’s
ways but turn to the damned in their time of need.” He smiled at me and
reached up and stroked the side of my face. His skin felt good against my
own, a deeply beautiful warmth tingled when his hand collided with my face.
“It is said her body will be but a beautiful shell to contain her inner most soul,
a soul like no other on earth, for she has never been on earth… but in
heaven. A fallen angel to guide us through our time of darkness.”
“I don’t understand.” I told him. Everything was so confusing, so
strange. Three times in my life now the world had changed in its entirety,
three times now things had turned violently ugly, three times now I was at a
loss for words to describe my depression.
“Don’t you see love? You were never human to begin with. You are an
angel. You are fallen, and now, you are becoming your true self.”
“So what, I fuck some coven leader, drain a bunch of humans and
suddenly I become an angel? So what? Angels are evil now?”
He smiled at that. “No, but angels have to understand both the light
and darkness. Death is darkness, but to feed like we do we don’t have to kill.
For humans it can be pleasurable, and half the time they don’t notice what’s
happening anyway.”
“Does no one ever stop to think maybe they should warn me? Maybe
someone should tell me what the fuck is going on before shit like this fucking
happens? I hate it! I hate all of you!”
I pushed him away from me with all the force I had, it sent him flying
across his very, and I mean very, large room and into the other wall. The
walls were dented… The walls were solid bricks and concert. I gasped and
pulled my legs up against my chest. It was stupid to still be afraid of what I
could do; it was stupid to feel anything but contempt for this… this… God I
couldn’t even think straight!
I wanted Isaac, I wanted to be held and told everything was going to be
alright. I wanted him to want me and tell me I was his. I wanted him to love
me again. I would have done anything to have him love me again, if even just
for a moment. But he’d never love me now. Any chance of that was gone,
finished. I’d murdered five boys; I took away their lives as if they were
dispensable, as if they had no more right to live than an insect did. I killed
them... and I liked it, oh God I liked it!
I’ll never forgive myself for this. I’ll never forgive myself for any of it,
not mum leaving or Nikita’s death, or being born the way I was, I’d never
forgive myself for all the blood and death and deep loathing I bore on my
skin. But I can’t forget any of it either. I can’t forget Nikita, or mum or dad
and those boys… And I can’t forget Isaac. I’ll never forget Isaac.
So here I was, unable to forgive, unable to forget… neither vampire,
nor human… just nothing. Empty. Hollow. Alone.
And then Edward touched my cheek. I flinched away from him and as
horribly pathetic as it sounds, I gasped.
“Its okay, it didn’t even—”
 “No!” I slapped away his hand and constricted myself into a tighter
ball. “Don’t touch me.” I said. “Just don’t touch me right now.”
“Okay. Okay I wont touch you.” He put his hands down on either side
of me and loomed over me, invading my space without actually touching me.
“Just talk to me.”
“Leave me alone Edward, I can’t deal with it right now okay.”
“Deal with what?”
“You! You and you’re stupid prophecies. Has anyone ever thought that
maybe the prophecies are wrong, or maybe I’m not the person prophesied?
Has anyone even realized how pathetic I am right now? I can’t handle any of
this shit; I’ve let down everyone who’s trusted me! How can you expect me to
do anything for these people when I can’t even keep the people I love safe?
How can you expect them to love me when my own Sire turned from me?” I
wanted to hit him, punch him until he felt as bad as I did, but even I knew
better than that, even I could not bring myself to do such a thing. But that
didn’t change the fact that I wanted to.
My heart was filled with nothing but darkness now. How could I expect
them to forgive me when I couldn’t forgive myself? How could I expect them
to follow me when I had no idea where to lead them? But worse still, how
could I expect anyone to love me, when I couldn’t love myself?
“A very wise vampire once told me, it is not we who control our
destinies, ‘but our destinies that control us’. Everything you have been
through has lead to this point, this is where you choose to accept your fate or
go on fighting it.”
“But I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”
“It will be harder to fight it than to accept it Kayla. And I promise you, if
you accept it, you will feel better. The meaningless hardships that have
brought you to this point will be forgotten. When one chooses to follow their
destiny it is never easy, but it is always worth the trouble.”
“But I can’t—”
“If you believe you can then you can. That is the power of an Angel.”
And then I said something I’d never expected to say. “Okay… okay I’ll
do it.” He pulled me into a tight, yet somewhat awkward hug, on my end at
least, and kissed whatever part of me he could reach.
“Yes! I promise you won’t regret a thing.” He jumped off the bed and
dressed himself quicker than I could blink and smiled at me. “Come.” He said
as he held out his hand to me. “I shall teach you to feed.”
“I don’t think I’m hungry right now.” I told him. “I… I think it would be
best if I went to go get my stuff.”
“Stuff?”
“At the castle, my clothes—”
He waved a hand dismissively as if to wipe away my comment. “We
have plenty of clothing here.”
“Sure… but it’s not my stuff.” The students would be in class now, and
I doubted anyone would be roaming a hall with Isaac back in action. I got to
my feet and whipped the tears from my cheek. “I’ll be back within an hour or
two, promise.”
“Are you sure you can face them?” he asked. “I… I fear you may not
yet have the strength to—”
 “I’m fine.” I snapped, the finality in my voice surprised even me. “I’ll
be back before you can even miss me.” He smiled that cocky smile of his and
stared into the depths of my soul. I hated that look, and loved it at the same
time. He could do to me almost everything Isaac could do to me. He made
me week kneed and insignificant, yet loved and protected all at the same
time. It was unnerving.
“I’ll miss every moment away from you.” He told me softly, almost a
whisper. He turned from me, and headed out the door without any other
word.
So here I was, standing in the middle of a luxurious room, pampered by
a man that held almost every aspect Isaac held, shunned by both humans
and the Chosen Vampires, my vampires… and I couldn’t hate myself worse.
Isaac had turned from me, told me he no longer wanted me, Sky would
follow… and Matthew… I knew he would turn from me the moment he saw
me. I would be alone once again, no matter how many men I went through, or
people I met along the way I wouldn’t never forget the three of them. I would
never forget the love they held for me… or the love they would take away…
So I said the only thing I thought appropriate.
“I’m fucked.”

I had entered the castle now, and just as I had expected no one dared
roam the halls alone. I knew stories of Isaac had been spreading among the
Vampires and Feedlings alike. Well, if any good had come from it, it would
probably scare them all enough to make sure no one was ever late to his
class ever again.
I opened the door to my room and started packing immediately; I’d
only have 50 more minutes at the most if I wanted to get out of here before
anyone noticed. But just as I got my third and final bag pack I heard the door
hinges squeak and a light tap as the door bounced against the wall.
“What are you doing in Kayla’s room? Do you know what kind of
punishment you’ll receive for—”
“It’s me you stupid jack ass.” I turned to sky, my hands on my hips and
face lit with anger. His eyes were wide as he gazed over me.
“Holy shit Kayla! What the hell happened to you?!” he asked.
“It’s none of your business. Get out of my room.” I turned from him
and kept packing, but I knew he hadn’t moved. I wasn’t sure how I knew, new
instinct maybe? “Don’t make me order you out.” I said more firmly.
“Are… are you going somewhere?” he asked. And for once his voice
was clean of all ego. He sounded young, frightened, like a child who had just
found his mum packing her luggage before she left… like me when I was
young.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Where?”
“It doesn’t concern you Sky. Leave me alone alright? It’s not like this is
the last time you’ll ever see me.” But in truth, it very well may have been. We
may never meet again… and some how, though just hours ago that would
have bothered me… I was unaffected. I didn’t care.
“Can I come with you?”
 “Jesus Christ Sky you sound like a bloody petulant child. You won’t
want to follow me to where I’m going.”
“How do you know? Maybe… maybe I’d want to follow you anywhere…
maybe I love you Kayla.”
“And maybe I love HIM but that doesn’t mean I’m going to become
their frickin number one groupie. Just drop it, okay?”
“No. No I won’t just drop it. I love you Kayla, I won’t leave until you tell
me how you feel about me.”
“I don’t love you Sky. That’s all there is to it. I don’t love you, I don’t
love Matthew and I fucking hate your father! If the lot of you could all just
drop dead I’d be happier than I’d ever been before in my life! So just fuck off
aright?!” I threw on a clean hoodie and grabbed my incredibly light, yet
bulging bags. But I couldn’t get out the door, Sky was standing their, frozen
in place. “Are you going to move of what?” When he didn’t respond I felt
something snap inside of me. I dropped my bags and pushed him with
enough force to send him flying into the wall opposite me. “Now say out of
my fucking way.” And with that, I picked up my stuff and was off running.

You’d think maybe I could get away after that, but no. Just as I was
about to open the final door separating me from my escape, someone
grabbed my arm.
“What are you doing in this Academy?” I knew that voice. I hated that
voice.
“Leaving.” I said as I ripped my arm from his. I knew he wouldn’t have
been expecting that, humans were feeble infants compared to a fully grown
vampire.
“Hey!” he grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him. I
wanted to kill him for that. I jumped at him and pushed him to the ground,
holding him there with either of my legs at his side and my hands holding his
arms down steadily. My strength amazed me even now. I’d never been
powerful enough to stand up to Isaac for long let alone hold him pinned to the
ground… maybe human blood really did have some benefits I’d been missing
out on…
“If you ever touch me again, I’ll drain you bone dry.” I couldn’t kill him;
I knew that even now, so I settled for scaring him shitless instead. His face
held contempt for a moment and I watched as that contempt turned to
realization and then into fear.
“Kayla?” he asked, his eyes held a certain curiosity I’d never seen from
him before. It made me hate him that little bit more.
“Don’t call me that!” I snapped. I jumped off of him, smoothed down
my shirt and grabbed my stuff.
“Where are you going Kayla?” he asked.
“I said don’t call me that! And it’s none of your business anyway.”
“What should I call you then?” his question made me pause with my
hand on the door. I couldn’t be Kayla anymore. I couldn’t be what he wanted
me to be, and I knew I could never be their Queen, not after everything I’d
done. But I knew what I was at least, and I knew what I could be. I knew I
could help Edward and his people, I knew I could still help in some way. I had
never thought I was born to lead, but now, face with the options of leaving it
all behind, or leading… I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I wasn’t sure if
I could lead them, or if I’d be any good at it, all I knew was that I was
different. Not vampire, nor human…
“Call me Angel.” And with that, for the first time since I had known
Isaac, I was able to walk away from him, and feel nothing. No regret, no
sadness, just a deep resounding nothingness. All I could feel in my heart was
darkness. Hollow didn’t cover it anymore. There was hatred and death in my
heart now, no light shined there, no love could make its home there.
He’d already turned from me; I could see it in his eyes. There was no
love, no emotion beyond those acceptable for a teacher and his student. But
now he was just a man, a vampire… and I? I was no one, nothing until
someone gave my life meaning. I would forever be just another unknown
name, until I found someone who could beat the love and undeniable lust I
had once felt for my Isaac. But the Isaac I had just seen was not my Isaac, he
was darker, the vampire who had turned me and the vampire I loved were
two completely different people. The vampire who loved me died along side
my sister; I would never know another soul as beautiful as the one I had now
lost… that, if nothing else, I was certain of.
But I would try to move on and find someone or something better.
Something that could give me importance, someone who could make me feel
again… love again. But until that day I would be but a shell of the person I
once was. I would forever remain like this, lonely… but if what Edward had
told me was true then one day would be come new. A new inner soul soon to
be released and I would no longer be Kayla, I would be an Angel.
I smirked at the idea. I felt more like a demon than an Angel. Evil and
distorted. Nothing like the grace or beauty an Angel should betray. I felt ugly,
on the inside and out. I guess in a way, that’s how I’ve always felt. Isaac had
made me feel beautiful… but without him… I felt worse than ever. At least I
use to have small moments when I was out at the club, with a guy or two
dancing with me when I felt decent… but I doubted that could do anything for
me now.
But there was one thing that had made me feel even more splendid
than Isaac ever could. Blood. Feasting upon those innocents had made me
feel better than ever before. It had made me feel at peace with the world in a
way I had never felt before. Just thinking about the taste of blood made my
mouth water in anticipation. I knew then that the second I dropped off my
stuff at the mansion I was going out to hunt. I wasn’t hungry, but I needed to
feel better, I needed that burst of energy and happiness. Blood was my new
addiction. No longer was I plagued by Alcohol or Nicotine, but I was drawn to
death. Death and blood was all I could contemplate loving now. What was
thw point in loving anything else? Nothing else was a guarantee, but blood
was a life force and would always be there for me.
‘And me’ a voice whispered. It froze me solid, that wasn’t me. Oh shit. I
turned around and examined my surroundings, making sure no one had
followed me.
‘Do not fear’ the voice whispered again. ‘I am with you now’
“What do you mean?” I asked aloud.
‘I am apart of you now. I am your inner most self. Finally, we are one.’
Relief filled the voices words and a warm calming sensation filled my body. I
felt like I should have been afraid of being insane, afraid of the voice in my
head. But I wasn’t, I accepted her fully. It felt as if she was me, and yet
wasn’t at the same time. We were one and the same, yet two different
entities.
“What… what do I call you?” I asked.
‘Call me Guidance’ she whispered. ‘For I am but a soul to guide you to
your true potential.’ I pictured a face in my mind, a woman’s face, a woman
with hair as white as snow and skin that matched in perfection. Eyes as blue
as ice yet held a flame of love I had never know before. I wanted to reach out
and touch her beauty, hoping I might compare to her in some small way.
Hoping I could obtain such beauty and allure. ‘You are mine child, and I am
yours. Together we will bring this planet to its feet and worship us like none
that have come before us. Neither Lucifer nor God will be able to stop us. For
we my child, are real.’ I shivered as she spoke. But it felt good. The thought
of people loving me, becoming mine and mine alone… the thought of
importance second to no one made me tingle with warmth. ‘Shall we work
together daughter’
Daughter, the word held so much meaning, so much love… I had never
heard such love before. My heart flooded and I knew the answer before it left
my lips. “Yes…” I whispered. She smiled and I fell to my knees.
‘Then we shall make you wondrous. And this world will grovel at your
feet. The feet of a new God, a real God, you my dear. We will make this world
our heaven and these people will be our devoted children.’
Yes, yes, oh God yes! Was all I could think. A world to love me, an
entire planet at my feet. Then Isaac would see what he had missed out on,
Isaac would love me again… I could bring my Isaac back.
‘We must make you full my child, tonight when the moon is at its peek,
I will help you unlock your innermost soul, and you shall become beautiful
beyond that of Lucifer himself. You will walk this earth with the power to
bring God to his knees and weep. We will make it happen child; we will make
you a God.’ Her face slowly faded and after a short moment… she was gone.
The tingling happiness and warm was gone, I no longer felt beautiful or loved.
I was cold, alone, and crying.

Being a Vampire
Chapter Six Part Three
Midnight

When I arrived back at the Mansion, nothing much happened. The

vampires were their same isolated selves, the place was still as depressing as
when I had first arrived and Edward… well I doubt much about him has ever
changed. I guess he was always this handsome, this alluring and this… well,
this manipulative.
 Everything he’d asked me to do, I’d done. Well, except early this
morning, but he hadn’t really asked me anything, he was telling me them. I’d
always hated me told to do or told I was anything. I’m a big believer in
personal perception of reality. The old ‘I reject your reality and submit my
own’ theory.
He stood from his thrown and threw his arms out wide. “Kayla!”
I smiled softly at the tall coven leader. “Edward.” I whispered lightly.
The allure I had felt last night was gone and I no longer saw him as a glowing
god among vampires. I got the over whelming feeling he would have little
meaning in my new life. That small tingling warmth returned to me, and I
knew Guidance was with me again. And she was definitely confirming my
belief.
“Show me to a room would you love? I’d like to settle in before
midnight.”
“Why such a rush sweetheart?” he asked as he jumped down off his
platform. “Come; let us feast before we—”
“I’d prefer you show me to a room where I can get settled before
midnight thank you.” He stopped in front of me and eyed me with new found
skepticism. He was confused, that much was obvious. Then again, I probably
would be too.
“As you wish.” He said. The vampires stared as he led me through the
numerous halls, but I had noticed there was no sign of Cassandra or Mia. But
then again, they were probably just out hunting. Or hell, maybe Edward
changed his mind and punished the poor children.
‘Either way, it doesn’t concern us daughter’ Guidance whispered, her
warm silken voice tingling through my body like hot coco on a cold winter’s
night, reaching and unfreezing even the coldest part of me… like my soul. I
smiled, she was right, no point in thinking about them when I needed to
worry about myself.
‘Exactly daughter, the needs of these feeble children will mean little to
you once you are reborn.’ She told me. ‘They will be but ants to us child,
insignificant builders and nothing more.’
“Yes Guidance…”
“What?” Edward asked.
“Never mind Edward.” He opened the door to a very large beautiful
suit and ushered my inside.
The walls were painted a stunning gold, the kind that turned to fire
when hit with a bright evening unset, decorated with painting and rich
tapestries woven in bold shades of red and greens like I’d never seen
before… They were woven and painted of things I wasn’t even sure made
sense.
One stole my attention. A woman with hair a most startling shade of
blue, and eyes of clear amethyst, a rare bluish violet kind I’d only seen once
before… this morning actually. But what caught my gaze more than her
startling hair or eye color, or the fact that her skin was unusually pail, were
her wings. She had huge swan like wings growing from her back, each one at
least the same length if not longer than her entire body. And the end of those
wings, the largest feathers faded to blue. A vivid blue that matched the color
of her hair. She held her arms out open wide and smiled, like she was
beckoning me to her. I reached out my hand and stroked the thin strands. A
zap of warmth went through my hand when I touched it. I pulled my hand
back in a gasp.
“What the hell was that?” I asked.
“What was what?” Edward asked.
“The frickin thing just zapped me!”
He smiled gently at me and walked to my side. He stroked the tapestry
and stared at the beautiful naked lady with a fine look of awe and longing
clear across his face.
“This tapestry was made as tribute to our future Queen. It is said her
beauty will burn with the intensity of Blue Flame. All will be drawn to her, like
moths to the flame of her beauty.” His fingers traced the line of her silken
naked body and the slightest of a smile crossed his lips. “She is what you will
become.”
“Yes…” I examined her for a moment. I knew there was something
familiar about her, something strangely similar about the two of us. I wasn’t
sure if it was the shape of her slim waisted, yet voluptuous body, or the way
she smiled like she knew me. But whatever it was, the way she stood their,
naked and more beautiful than any real woman I had ever seen made me
smile.
‘And this tapestry is not just a mere reflection of the woman you will
become.’ Guidance whispered. ‘No artist could ever capture your true
beauty.’
I smiled and looked over at Edward. “What’s the time?”
He looked down at his watch and reported. “About 11:45”
“Take me to the graveyard.” I told him. He gave me a questioning
glance but as it became apparent I had no intention of elaborating he took
me by the arm and guided me though the mansion and out into deep
darkness that engulfed the graveyard. “Why do we have a graveyard
anyway?” I asked.
“Humans are not the only ones that need to bury their dead. I know
humans have developed a liking for the romantic idea that we simply burst
into ash as we die, but truthfully we die in much the same way humans do…
to an extent.”
“What do you mean, to an extent?”
“Well, our bodies take longer to decay, which is why most vampires
are cremated when they die. It would take to many centuries for the bodies
to decay otherwise.”
“And because were so susceptible to fire and sunlight, the cremation
would be an incredibly effective means of destroying any evidence we
actually exist. I was wondering why humans had never found proof of our
existence seeing as they have autopsies and such.”
“Covens keep an eye on their members. We work like a family, and if
anyone goes missing or dies we find out and take care of the situation before
any human authorities can interfere with our affairs.”
“Well that’s… efficient,”
He smiled. “Well I’m glad you approve of our methods.”
The second we walked through the cast iron gates that surrounded the
cemetery I felt a great presence. It wasn’t a dark presence like I would have
expected, it was just there, floating like another life force, like the souls of all
those who had passed. It felt me too, it knew I was here.
 “You feel it.” Edwards’s words were distant as they drifted through my
mind.
“Yes…” I walked deeper into the cemetery, fallowing the presences
silent beckoning until I came face to face with an angel. Not a real angel of
course, but a grate biblical creature made of stone. At her feet was a small
plate, a plate that read ‘here lies the remains of Carol ‘Guidance’ Pastel’.
“Guidance?”
‘Yes child,’ her voice whispered in my mind again, blanketing me in a
vastness of warmth and love. ‘This is my grave.’
“Why did you lead me here?” I asked.
‘You needed to be near my body.’
“But why?”
‘Because I cannot be with you any other way. Be still, your time
approaches.’ I looked up to find the moon directly above us and smiled at her
beauty. She shone with grace and mystical energy I had always marveled
over. I’ve always loved the night, because even when dad went insane or
Nikita told me for the millionth time that I was the only person on this planet
she actually hated… I still felt like I was never alone. I still felt like she was
looking down on me with a smile. No matter what I became I could never rival
the beauty of the moon. ‘Not true my daughter, just wait…’ the presence that
surrounded the graveyard started to become heavier, denser until it felt like
a heavy led blanket coming down to suffocate me.
“What’s happening?” I asked, unable to keep the panic from my voice.
“Nothings happening,” Edward said. I’d almost forgotten he was here.
‘Don’t be afraid.’ Guidance whispered. ‘Embrace the darkness,
embrace your true self.’
And then it happened.
The led blanket grew warm; it grew a living pulse as it came closer and
closer until I could feel it burning against my skin. I screamed as it connected
with my skin, it felt like someone was stripping me bare of more than just my
clothes and covering me in hot molten lava. I screamed and Edward rushed
to my side, he yelled all kinds of things, trying to get me to respond, but I
couldn’t. all I could do was sit there and scream as the lava tore through my
skin, ripping me apart and shredding me into a million pieces until ever part
of me felt like it had be burnt to ash.
And then everything erupted into a bright flash of light that left me
blind. The pain was gone and all I could feel was sweet peaceful relief. I felt
almost as if I was floating, floating in a beautiful sea of tranquility. But slowly,
it faded. And I came back to myself. I could feel the muddied grass beneath
my bare body and found myself speculating over how that had happened.
My sight came back, and through the hazy fog that clouded my vision I
was able to see Edwards face staring down at me. But his face wasn’t filled
with worry like I had expected. It was filled with shock and awe. His eyes
twinkled with unshed tears and I watched as he moved away from me and
feel to his knees. He bowed to me with his head to the earth and his body
shivering.
“My Goddess.” His voice flowed through my ears and into my heart.
His words were filled with love and loyalty, but it wasn’t his voice I was
interested in. I heard more than his voice. I felt as if I could hear his soul; I
could feel how he felt. I felt his love and admiration as if it had been my own.
But what I could feel strongest from him was fulfillment. He had known from
the second I was to be their savior, he had known it would be me to lead
them all through this shameful darkness and into the light where they
belonged. He knew beyond all reasonable doubt that I was the beloved he
had chased through this life and the life he held before, he was right.
I stood and made my way to him with a kind the kind of grace I had
imagined Guidance would have held. I called to her in my mind… but no one
replied. It was as if she was gone… There was no more guide to lead me now.
I understood. I had come to the point were I had to lead; I had more
responsibility than ever now. I had been born three times now. Once as
nothing, then as a leader and now… now I was bigger than anything I could
have imagined. I wasn’t just a common Queen, I was an Angel.
“Rise.” I said. I almost gasped. My voice had changed! It was no longer
the cute high pitched voice of a somewhat good looking teen; it was deep
and sultry now, almost like Marilyn Monroe but with more breathiness. And
yet, even to my ears it didn’t sound air headed. It sounded… alluring and
sexy. I grimaced, me, sexy? Attractive, maybe, but sexy?
Edwards head came up slowly and his gaze traveled over my very
naked body. But it didn’t make me feel as insecure as it should have. If
anything, I felt empowered by his stare.
“My Goddess—”
“Be still.” I snapped. Holy shit I snapped! And man, it felt good! That
should have worried me, and I knew it should have… but it didn’t. “Stand.”
He rose to his feet. Either he got shorter or I got taller because my eyes now
came to rest at his neck, about 5 inches higher on his body than it would
have been before my… my change. I softened and smiled at him. “How do I
look?”
He took me in with his eyes, devouring my body with a lingering gaze.
“Breathe taking…” I smiled and looked down at my own body. Well, in all
honest truth my body hadn’t changed a hell of a lot. But I could tell even now
my legs had definitely gotten longer. And my breast seemed… perkier. And
even from here I could tell my skin had changed from pale to milk white.
“Breath taking?” I mocked. “I don’t see the difference.”
“But I do. Oh Goddess I do!” he reached out and took a lock of flame
blue hair between his fingers… it almost sparkled with the moonlight. “You’re
glowing.” He whispered. “A fallen angel shines like the stars of heaven itself.”
Again he recited his poetic prophesies.
I turned over my hands in the moonlight and examined the faint
sparkling almost metallic shine in my skin. “Oh my!” Looks like my
vocabulary got a clean up too, it makes sense I guess, angels shouldn’t curse.
“Come, let me clothe you.” He said as he held out his hand to me.
“I have my own belongings; I believe I would feel more… comfortable
in them.” He nodded his head in acknowledgment of my decision. I took his
hand and let him lead me to his mansion, his skin was hot against my own, I
had always thought other vampire were slightly warmer than myself… but
this man felt like he was feverish in comparison to myself… I didn’t like that
fact. Because that either meant he was sick, or I was freezing. Vampires can’t
get sick.
When we had walked the halls I had expected the same treatment as I
had always gotten from these vampires. But they surprised even me. The
second I walked into the building vampires left right and center gasped and
fell to their knees. It was worse than when I had entered Sang-Noir for the
first time. Sang-Noir was at least filled with children willing to bow, not fall to
their knees and grovel. Edward had beamed at his children’s actions.
“Why are they—”
“You must get use to such treatment, you are our savior.”
“But—”
“Let us speak of it elsewhere.” Well if that wasn’t a gigantic ‘shut the
hell up’ I didn’t know what was. Ever hall was passed more vampires fell and
all the while the mansion shocked itself into a state of silence even I hated.
The quiet was a good friend of mine, but this was ridiculous!
When we were safely inside my room I headed straight for my things
and went through everything I had. Truth was; that’s not a whole lot. And
when I started touching my clothes… truth was I didn’t want to put them on.
“Is there a problem?” he asked.
“I’m not sure.” I admitted. “These are my clothes… but…”
“Wait here. I have something you may feel more appropriate.” I agreed
and he left with a smug smile spread across his lips. Despite my new self and
his own new found loyalty to me… he was still Edward. There was little any of
us could do about that.
But I don’t think I’d want to change him anyway, everything was
changing so drastically that… well… it’s nice to have something’s that stay
the same you know? It’s nice to have stability sometimes, especially when
the one person you thought would always be by your side up and leaves you.
And somehow… that didn’t hurt like I thought it would. Yesterday… or even a
few hours ago I would have shed a tear for him. So why the hell didn’t it
bother me now? I’d yelled at him the last time I saw him, and ran from him
too…
Was that all I could do now? Run from my problems? It seemed like it.
It seemed like all I’d done was run from everything I’d ever known until
nothing made sense. I thought I’d at least understood what I was what I was
a vampire, or at least, I thought I was learning. But now I had no idea what
the hell I was. Did I still drink blood? Did I have to eat at all? Could I walk out
into the sunlight without feeling any weakness? Was I still susceptible to fire?
Too many questions plagued my mind for anything to find an answer.
“How about this?” Edward asked as he stalked through the door. He
held in his hands what looked like a pile of very black, very revealing
clothes…He handed me the clothing and gave me a moment’s privacy. You’d
think he wouldn’t bother, seeing as I’d been naked this whole time.
I sighed and tried on the black and blue corset complete with fishnet
stockings and incredibly skimpy underwear. When I was human, or hell, even
a vampire I would have hated this. It was just way too… kinky, even for me.
But I’ll admit it did feel more… comfortable.
Edward knocked on the door before coming back in. “Better?” he
asked.
“Yeah… Is there a mirror in here?” I asked.
“In the bathroom around the corner.” He said as he pointed to the old
oak door. I opened the door and gasped. The bathroom was gorgeous. But
that wasn’t what had triggered my gasp. The wall across from me was pure
mirror. And the woman reflected in the wall of mirrors… was breath taking.
 “Oh. My. Lord!” I moved closer to the mirror image and couldn’t help
but stare. The woman looking back at me… wasn’t me. Or at least, it didn’t
use to be. This woman staring back at me had startling violet eyes even more
brilliant than the ones I had gazed into this morning and they hid behind a
veil of thick black lashes. Her hair was a startlingly shade of blue with
sparkling silver streaks and her skin was perfection. Her full blood red lips
glistened even without the added lip gloss. I looked down at my smooth
hands and noticed my nails were now absolutely perfect. And as I gazed at
my body… more than just the length of my legs had changed. I let my hands
run over my body and marveled at how different everything felt against my
skin. You could still see my ribs, but my body seemed more proportional. I
was slight and still young. But I didn’t look scarily fragile anymore. I was more
woman than child now and stronger than any man before me.
“You’re magnificent.” Edward whispered from the door way. And he
was right. Magnificent didn’t cover it… damn; I swear I was never this vein
before.
“Where are my wings?” I asked.
He grinned mischievously at me and walked over. He smoothed his
hands down my shoulders the feel of his skin on mine made me close my
eyes. It was… pleasurable to say the least. Every smooth movement made
me skin tingle with excitement. And just as his fingers skimmed over my
most sensuous parts, he pulled away.
“Now look.”
I looked into the mirror in front of me and gasped as a pair of very real,
very familiar wings were curled behind my back. I felt them the way I could
feel my hands I stretched them out and affectively pushed Edward away from
me. They were huge! Each one was the same length I not longer than my
entire body. And each of the gloriously silky smooth feathers was tipped the
same shade of blue as my eyes… It was just like the tapestry.
“Beautiful…” Edward whispered.
I smiled and constricted my wings to fold against my back. “How do I
—”
“I’m not sure. The prophecy’s only mentioned receiving your wings
under your first taste of seduction… but I believe the wings stay with you my
Goddess. It is your mark, a symbol of your authenticity.”
“So, what? There have been others claiming to be me?”
“All Made Vampire Princesses who have come before you believed they
were our Goddess, but none could provide proof enough to convince even
their own circle they were our Goddess.”
“Their circle?”
“Have they taught you nothing?” he asked. He sighed dramatically and
leaned against the door frame. “You will have a chosen circle. Or at least, you
would have. Vampire Queens select a group of people she can trust with her
life, a circle of nine that look over her and see that all her demands are met.
They are people who love and cherish her… like your Sire for instance.”
“My Sire should rote in the grave he crawled out from.” The venom my
voice held scared even me. “He doesn’t want to be anywhere near me. I
guess I can’t really blame him. He’s being punished for something that was
all my fault, I guess I can’t really be angry at him for being pissed about
that.”
 “Is that what he told you?” Edward asked.
“Not Exactly.”
“Then there’s no point in thinking that’s what he meant. Not
everything has a double meaning my Goddess.”
“But some things do Edward, some things do.”
He smiled ruefully and took my hand gently in his own. Even in my new
body his hand still engulfed my own. “Come; let us celebrate the rising of a
new era.” I smiled at his enthusiasm and let him lead me into the arms of his
coven… his Kiss.
 Being a Vampire
Chapter Six Part Four
Join Me Lover

The vampires had stayed on their knees until I had reached my

‘thrown’ and Edward had begun addressing them. But I noticed, even as
Edward spoke all eyes seemed fixated on me. So I tried my best to look
content and capable, but I think it ended up looking a little more like I was
trying not to laugh… partly because I was.
“—she will lead us with the conviction and dedication god himself
could not rival,” Oops, I so should have been listening. “She will be our light
in the darkness, our shining star. We will love and cherish her like the All
Mother she is.” My smile was a little less forced at that. “And she will lead us
out of the darkness and into the light of day!”
“Praised be Our Goddess!” the vampires cheered together. My wings
spread and fluttered at the sound. They went on with their merriment, smiles
were spread when I had seen not but deep scowls before and I couldn’t help
the warmth that engulfed my heart.
“They love you.” Edward whispered.
“Yes… I believe they do.” I watched as they toasted and danced, the
motions were light and joyous; they made me want to dance along with
them. But then again, I’d probably knock them all out with my wings before I
even got off the thrown. I didn’t want to start killing the only people who
seemed to actually accept—
“KAYLA!!!” a loud bellowing roar ripped through the air, and the
festivities, making everyone turn toward the entrance hall. “I said let me the
fuck go you stupid little—”
“Let him in.” I ordered, making sure my strangely melodic voice
carried through the hall. Several of the vampires scrambled out the door… I
knew that voice very well. It was the voice of someone I had cared for
greatly, still care for. And then he entered the hall with twelve or more
vampires escorting him into the middle of the room. Every part of me
softened when I saw him. “Matthew.” I smiled. “You have been missed.” He
stared at me with a shock I had come to expect from those around me. But
the way he looked at me was different. It wasn’t sexual nor was their
admiration in his gaze. It was amazement. I reached my arm out to him and
focused completely on him. “Come.” I whispered. He moved towards me a
dazed look in his eyes, I don’t think he even noticed what he was doing until
his hand came in contact with my own.
“Kayla? Is it really you?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s me.” He reached out and touched his free hand to my cheek.
I sighed with the familiar feel of his touch. I leaned into it and rubbed my
cheek against his hand. “I’ve missed you Matthew.” I whispered.
“You have been sorely missed my Queen, you are still sorely missed at
the castle, come back with me.” He pleaded. I knew there were tears in my
eyes and I knew I was in danger of having a total breakdown. But he needed
truth.
“I’m not a Queen anymore Matthew.” I said. “I’ve changed in ways you
can’t imagine.” I looked over at Edward as he watched us with interest. “I
think we’ve spent enough time here.” I whispered. “I think this conversation
will be best had in private.” He nodded and pulled Matthew away from me.
Before he could protest Edward was up and addressing his people.
“Our Goddess is in need of rest. She shall retire for the evening.”
“All hail the All Mother!” I got to my feet as quickly as possible and
took Matthews hand away from Edward.
“I’d like to talk to my King of the Guard alone.” I told him. He looked
reluctant but nodded all the same.
“I will await you in my—”
“No need. I have a room of my own for now.” I said and before he
could muster a reply or gift me with a reason why I shouldn’t be alone with
Matthew I had turned from him and was already halfway down the hall.

Matthew sat on the end of my bed and stared at the floor,

concentrating I guessed. I didn’t blame him; it was a lot to adjust to.
“So… let me get this straight. You got pissed at Isaac, ran away,
drained a bunch of humans, fucked a powerful coven leader and turned into
some hybrid before going through some mystical change that then resulted
in you turning into an Angel?”
“Close.” I said. “But Guid… I mean, I was always an angel, I think. Or
at least, I think that’s what Edward was getting at with the prophecies. It was
always inside of me I think; part of me was always… this. Edward said none of
the other Vampire Queens could become like me because they didn’t have…
something. I don’t know; ask him if you’re so curious.”
He looked at me then, a slight crinkle between his brows and a stern
look stretching his features caught my attention. “How can you not care
about something like this? How can you stand there and act as if everything’s
okay? How can you—”
“Because I can accept things for what they are and move on. That’s
something you need to learn Matthew. Things are the way they are… there’s
nothing any of us can do to change them. All I can worry about is the future;
after all, we have eternity.”
“But still how can you not want to understand this?”
“Because it makes it harder to give up.” I said, the blunt tone in my
voice cutting the conversation short. “I’ve been Human, Vampire Queen,
Vampire Hybrid and now Angel. Please stop trying to make me understand
everything. I don’t want to think about the past anymore Matthew… it hurts
too much.” He was quiet as he stared into my eyes. “If you love me then just
drop it okay? Don’t make it worse than it already it.”
He nodded. “As my Queen… I mean Goddess commands.” I smiled
weekly and walked over to him. I touched his face and tipped it back so I
could rest my lips gently against his forehead.
“Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me
hard against his lean yet firm chest.
“Whatever your heart desires Kayla, I will give it to you.”
 “Don’t call me that anymore. Kayla was a Queen… she’s not here
anymore.”
He rested his chin against my ribs and attempted to look up at me
through my cleavage, not the best idea in the world. “Then what shall I call
you?” he asked.
“Call me Angel.”
He smiled. “Of course.” And with that he pulled my face down to his
level and kissed me gently. His lips as soft but demanding as ever. Nothing
about Matthew ever changed. He was the same lover as he was guard,
strong, passionate, eager to please and always skilled at what he did. But
there was a new fire to him tonight. Yet it wasn’t just the excitement of
exploring my new form that fueled his passion; it was like a reunion for the
two of us. I loved Matthew in a strange way even I couldn’t explain. I held
more passion for him than a friend, but I knew I couldn’t be his forever, that
last step seemed to evade me. But he would always be close to my heart,
apart of my soul… and I would never forget him.

I lay there in Matthews arms as he slept, feeling the comfort in the

rhythm of his breathe. The smile of his lips and the faint glow of sweat
covering his body made me smile. He looked so comfortable… so happy. I
stroked his cheek lovingly and kissed his cheek before sliding comfortably out
of the bed. He squirmed and frowned as if he sensed my absence until he
roused into consciousness.
“Angel?” he squinted and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“Hush.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead again. “Go back to
sleep.”
“I can’t.” He said as he pushed himself into a sitting position. “I have to
protect you.”
I laughed a bright musical sound still foreign to me. “And what would
you protect me from? These people have no need to harm me; I’m of no
threat to them.” I brushed his bangs away from his eyes. “Besides, its
morning, you’re of little use during the day light lover, rest.” He reluctantly
lay back down and within a few moments of me stroking a pattern down the
side of his face, he was fast asleep once again. “Good boy…” I took my hand
back and got off the bed.
I know the clothes I had collected from the castle weren’t comfortable
for me, or at least, weren’t anymore. But they were more practical for what I
wanted to do today. I wanted to be outside. It sounded stupid, considering
what I was now, but I wanted to be among people… and all my people would
be asleep, dead to the world as it was. And I wasn’t even tired! I felt alive for
the first time since Isaac turned me away. I felt real again, like I could go on
living for longer than an afternoon… but I just didn’t want to be left alone.
That’s all. I wanted to be free… And as I slipped on the confining black slacks
and purple tank top I noticed I still had wings.
Well there goes any resemblance of a plan I could have had. Humans
may have overlooked my hair and eyes, but no one was going to look at a
winged freak and not say something. Now, if it were Halloween I could
probably get away with it, but… actually I had no idea what the date was.
Hell I wasn’t even really sure what the time was. I guessed early morning,
about 6 or 7 but I didn’t know for sure. Truthfully, I felt incredibly ignorant.
What did I really know?
I knew I had changed and I was now somehow living with a group of
vampires I’d been kept ignorant of. Matthew had found me somehow, and so
far he had accepted what I had become. Edward worships me as if I were the
second coming of Jesus, and I guess to him I probably am. But I still had no
idea what I was supposed to do. I knew none of these prophesies. We hadn’t
even covered them at Sang-Noir for Christ sake. I was starting to believe no
one wanted me to be prepared for the future. I felt as if they were trying to
pass off ignorance as a gift and I was the unlucky receiver.
I sighed and ran a hand through my surprisingly perfect blue hair. I
guess it made sense; an angel couldn’t be imperfect could they? I shook of
the thought and squared my shoulders. Fuck it, fuck them all. I was going out,
in my wings and if they didn’t like it, well they could fucking suck it!
But first things first, I needed a proper top. Actually, bra was a better
description. Or rather. I pulled my top off and cut slits though the back with
my fingernails. It took me a while, but eventually, I was able to get my wings
through the slits and the top on securely.
I was clothed. Wonderful. I took one last glance at my reflection and
smiled. ‘You are as I made you…’ a gentle voice whispered through my mind.
Of course I was. My god, my creator, my everything. It was strange, I had
been frightened by the last voice and her whisperings… yet now it seemed so
natural… so beautiful. I was no longer the epitome of selfishness as these
humans; I was a creation of magic. Without another thought I took to the
corridors and left this place, to share my glory with the world and all her
children.