THAUM!

Deep Down

or Navigating Parallel Dimensions A Comprehensive Handbook

or Why Wizards Shouldnt Bring Their Daughters To Work

On one of Innsmouths many greasy, algae-stained sidewalks stood a

smoker. He had his back against the cracked red bricks of a sagged apartment
building, his smog fluttering upwards and wandering up to linger in front of the
windows.
He held in each draught, savouring the cigarettes like a fat dictator
savours his last Cubans while the revolutionaries knock his door down. But
Cubans were to these what a Rolls Royce is to a rusty tricycle. These were just
cigarettes, the cheap kind sold only in the more salty of gas stations, sticks of tar
and nicotine with the kind of lack of quality you have to search for to find. Their
only brand was SMOKING KILLS, and still the smoker managed to seem
outclassed by them.
He had the kind of look of a man who could rust through two inches of
steel with only a cough. You couldnt tell what hed eaten for dinner last night by
the stains on his shirt, but only because the stains of last night blurred with a
breakfast from last Monday.
Except for his khaki trench coat. The coat was crisp, shining, and almost
creaseless.
A car rolled up the road. Four-door, big enough to haul a family of eight if
you werent afraid to do some creative stacking, the sort of car that had Sport
in the name only to add another thousand to the price. It stopped in front of the
smoker. The window slid down.
The smoker reached up with his left hand, and, without as much as a
wince, pinched out his cigarette.
Morning, Alice, the smoker said.
Good morning, Thomas, the driver replied.
Tom walked around the front of the car, coughed the last wisp of smoke
out of his lungs and stepped in.
Alice had both hands on the steering wheel, giving him a thorough glare.
She glanced at the shirt under his trench coat, at the nicotine stains on his
hands, and then sniffed.
You need to do something about your clothes. You look like you havent
had a shower in a month.
Tom frowned. This again? You dont have to do this. I can wash my own
damn coat, you know.
I know. The problem isnt that you cant. Its that you dont.
It just takes some getting used to, okay? Ive never had an assistant-
-partner-
-partner. Never had a partner before.
Well, you do now, and your partner doesnt much care for the stains on
your shirt or the smell of your cigarettes, or those stubbles does your beard
actually grow? I could swear you had the same stubbles a week ago, and a week
before that. Its like some sort of symbiotic parasite. You really needed a woman
in your life, thats all Im saying. If you cant do it for yourself, then please, do it
for me. No gal likes a guy who smells.

Tom placidly waited for her to finish. Are you done?

She sighed. Im done.
Okay. And just so were clear on this, you are not in my life.
What? I am most definitely in your life. Youre getting bits of your life all
over the interior of my car all the time.
My mommy says youre a bad influence! a clear voice called from the
back of the car.
Tom froze. Ever so slowly, he turned around, looking between his and
Alices seat. In the back seat, neatly strapped down by the safety belt, sat a
young girl, beaming a smile at him. On her lap was her backpack, shaped like a
massive cloth ladybug whose legs formed the straps.
Hi! she said.
Tom turned back again, slumping his back against his seat and staring out
of the windshield. Alice, he said. Theres a girl in the back. Why is there a girl
in the back?
That, Alice said, is Kara. Kara, this is Thomas. Say hello to Thomas,
Kara.
Hello, Thomas! Kara said cheerfully.
Say hello to Kara, Thomas.
Hello, Ka- no. Wait. Why is she here? Who is she?
Shes my niece.
Aunt Alice is my aunt!
Alice sighed. Its Take Your Daughter To Work Day, Thomas, and I was
thinking-
Thinking? No, you werent thinking! The stuff we do isnt suited for kids!
Alices stare grew sterner. Show her your arm.
My what? Why?
Your arm. Show it.
Well, all right, but shell just-
Tom reached around his seat with his left arm, wriggling his porcelain
fingers at Kara.
He knew what would happen. He saw it everywhere. To any clear-thinking
mind, his left arm would have seemed like a construct of animated porcelain, the
last remnant of the Machine, the horrific invention of the Dwarves that doomed
them. But to call an ordinary person clear-thinking was definitely an
exaggeration. Ordinary meant Mundane, and the mundanes did not Believe.
It was the singular most effective evolutionary strategy invented by
humankind the Unbelievability Principle. In a world satiated with magic,
humanity had invented an image of a logical, sane world, and clung to that so
tightly anything not fitting into that image was reasoned away.
The claws of Hellhounds couldnt get a grip, cognitive parasites couldnt
find a nutritious thought, demons and angels both werent given a seconds
glance, all because the human mind did not Believe in them.
It had left humanity very much alive, and very much boring.
Tom had seen it dozens of times. People would think his arm was a new
kind of prosthetic, or thought him disfigured by a skin disease, or plain ignored it.
They took a glassy stare for a moment and then went on with their lives, deaf by
choice in a world of music.
But all that came to the little girls eyes was the glint of a child opening a
Christmas present.
Wow! she said. She carefully prodded his wrist. Its like stone! Thats so
cool! Is your other one like that, too? Does it hurt? How did you get it? Do you
feel this? Did you feel that?

Tom withdrew his arm and gave Alice a long look. Alice, he said calmly.
Shes a wizard.
I know, Alice said. I was going to tell you that. Thats why shes here.
You dont know how it is growing up like that, Thomas. You grew up in an estate,
in a family of wizards. I do know what its like. They brand you as mad, make you
think youre seeing things. Kara here has been diagnosed with Minor
Hallucinogenic Schizophrenia.
Tom sighed. In the realm of the blind, the one-eyed man is given some
understanding smiles as he speaks of colours and shapes, is gently fitted into a
straightjacket and then sent to a psych ward.
So, Alice continued, I try to keep her in contact with as many sane
people as I can. And, at the moment, thats limited to me.
Not me, too? Tom said.
At a stretch. In any case, Take Your Daughter To Work Day was the only
way to wrench her out of her mothers claws.
Tom turned to the back seat again. All right, Kara, you can come along.
Cool!
So, what does your mommy say about me?
She says you smell, and that youre a bad influence on Aunt Alice, and
that youre not a Civilised Man, and that Aunt Alice deserves better than you
even though my mom doesnt really like her I think, and that what you make her
do isnt Proper Work, even though I dont think she knows what you do, because
every time she talks about it she gets this weird look and then forgets, and every
time I ask she gets angry and sends me to my room.
Huh, Tom said. Your mom sounds like a real b-
Thomas! Alice snapped. Thats Margaret, my sister-in-law. Ive had to
endure her for thirteen years, so whatever youre about to call her Ive already
called her a hundred times, and Im sure Kara doesnt have to hear it.
Was he going to say bitch? Kara asked innocently.
Kara!
What? Isaiah from my class says it just means girl dog, so its not a bad
word at all.
It is, Kara, and I wont have you say it again, understand?
Yes, Aunt Alice, Kara said, sulkily.
Alice gave her a glower, and then grinned. But she is one, yes, she
added. Kara snickered.
So, Thomas, Alice said, you said you had something. Had a call?
Someones gone missing again? More Reavers kicking up the neighbourhood?
None of all that, Tom said. Ive heard talk of Oleg the Fiend being in
town. He has something I want.
Whispers from whom?
Ill give you a hint: hes got black feathers and he never shuts up.
Ah.
Anyway, I know Oleg. Hes slipped through my fingers a few times, and I
helped him slip through some others. Hes a thief, or a scavenger, or something
in between. He has a Thaumaturgic Ectolocator that he uses it to find all sorts of
magical thingamajigs to sell to dubious types. I want that Ectolocator.
So, Alice said, I suppose were going to find something magical, and
wait for him to show up?
Better. Tom reached into his coat, taking out a cone of dull black metal
covered in lines and scribbles. This is an Exaggerator. Do you have anything I
can put in it?
I got an apple! Kara said. She reached into her backpack and pulled it
out, holding it out to Thomas.

No, Kara, you have to eat your-

Thatll do. Thomas snatched it from her hand and impaled it on the
Exaggerators needle.
The Exaggerator let out a hum. Slowly, creeping from below, a quiver ran
over the apple. Once it reached the stalk at the top, the green sheen of the apple
brightened, the dents and creases in the skin melted away, and at the side a
single rune burned itself into the peel.
Ah! Tom said. An Apple of the Aesir. Thatll do.
Kara stared at her apple with wide eyes. Its gold! she said.
Nope, Tom said, pulling the apple loose. It turned plain red-and-yellow
again in his hand. Its just an illusion, but a good one.
So were going to catch an evil wizard with it? Kara said, a glitter in her
eyes.
Tom frowned at her. What? No. Oleg isnt evil. Hes just a man forced to
commit immoral acts by the machinations of a materialistic societ-
He caught Alices eye, and sighed. Yes, Kara, he said. Were going to
catch an evil wizard.
~.~
Tom stepped out of the car and onto the slippery stone of the Innsmouth
Docks. Before him towered one of the abandoned aluminium/asbestos
warehouses of Innsmouths sunken fishing industry. The words above the doors
had faded after the years. The smell hadnt.
Perfect, he said. Silent. Deserted. Dark.
Smelly, Alice added. Foul. Wet.
Exactly. Perfect for setting a trap.
Alice let Kara out of the car. The girl put on her ladybug backpack and took
a deep sniff.
Smells like the sea! I like the sea.
Smells like things that havent seen the sea in a long while, Alice
muttered.
Tom whistled a butchered tune between his teeth and reached for his
cigarettes.
Alice gave him a look. Every cigarette you smoke takes ten minutes from
your lifespan, she said.
And every ten minutes you nag about it takes ten from yours.
Huh! Do it for Kara, then. You can have your lung cancer if youre so
stubborn about it, but dont go spreading it around.
Tom glanced at Kara, and then at his packet of cigarettes. SMOKING KILLS,
it said, like it said every time. With a groan, he put it away.
Tom stepped forwards and opened the door. Inside was not a gloomy,
restless darkness, but the kind of darkness you get after a room has been storing
fish for fifty years. You could lean against the smell.
He walked to the centre of the hall, looked around and kicked some
concrete rubble with his foot. Then, he took Karas apple and the Exaggerator
and rammed them together. A gold glow illuminated the room, enlightening him
like he was a fallen angel. Fallen into a sewer, at least.
Right, he said. And now we wait.
~.~

Footsteps neared through the darkness, accompanied by voices.

Dad! Its all dark in here! one high-pitched voice said.
I thought you liked the dark, Natasha.
Yeah, but not when you cant see- Juck! Dad! I stepped in something
sticky!
Just stay behind me, Natasha, and keep hold of my hand.
Its cold. Can we go home? I wanna go home.
Shortly, Natasha. Were almost there.
From where he stood in the gloom, Tom could see two vague shapes enter
the room, lit only by the glow of the golden apple on the floor in the rooms
centre. One figure was tall. The other reached only about its waist.
A Golden Apple, the larger figure breathed. But how- In this place? Id
thought maybe a Fin of the Deep Ones or a Sovereign Seaweed, but an Apple-
Tom flicked the switch with his elbow and shut his eyes.
Light flooded the room. Black stars twinkled on Toms retina. When he
could see again, he opened his eyes and stepped forward, shielding his eyes with
his hand. Oleg, he said. Fancy meeting you here.
As his eyes accustomed to the light, the two silhouettes grew detailed.
One was a man, bald and tall, with long limbs and a beaklike nose. He
wore a black coat that, if not evil, was at least a sin to wear.
Next to him stood a girl with a red tie in her hair.
Dad! she shrieked. I cant see!
Oleg blinked against the light. Orlande! he spat. What are you doing
here? What is this all about?
This is about settling a score, Oleg, Tom said. You owe me a couple of
favours, if you havent forgotten. Without me youd be in the Bureaus cells right
now.
What? Whats this about? How did you get that Apple?
The Apple? Tom crouched, picking it up and pulling it loose from the
Exaggerator. Thats just an apple. Nothing special about it.
An Exaggerator! You lured me here with a cheap trick! What do you want
from me, Orlande?
Nothing much. Just your Ectolocator.
My Locator? But without it, Ill be broke! How do you suppose Id care for
my family?
Just like everyone else. By getting a decent job.
Hah! Look whos talking!
Tom shrugged. Stealing from thieves isnt stealing.
Natasha blinked, scowling at Tom. Whos that man, dad?
An annoying worm, Oleg said. He gripped Natashas hand and pulled her
towards the door. No deal, Orlande. Im out of here. You cant stop me, not
without using a sanctified Glyph.
But I can, Alice said. She stepped from the shadows and kicked shut the
door.
And me! Kara chittered eagerly, stepping up beside her.
Oleg gave them both a look. Then, his shoulders sagged. Oh, blast. You
got yourself a partner.
Yep, Alice said.
Well, Oleg sighed. Then theres not much choice for me, now is there.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like an antique compass.
Heres the damn Ectolocator. I hope you choke on it.
Natasha looked from her fathers face, to the Locator, and back to his face.

But da-had! she said. You cant just give it to him!

Whos the kid? Tom said.
Oh, this is Natasha, my sweet daughter. Its Bring Your Daughter To Work
Day, and I thought-
Natasha stamped on the ground, jerking on Olegs hand. Dahad! You
cant give it to him! Youre an evil wizard! Evil wizards dont just give their things
away!
Evil? Natasha, Im more of a man forced to do deplorable things by the
immoral functioning of a capitalist society.
No! Youre an evil wizard. Ive told all the girls at school that, so its gotta
be true or theyll call me a liar.
So what would you have me do, hm? Theres two of them-
Three! Kara said happily.
-three of them, and one of me.
Natasha crossed her arms before her chest. You have to fight him. You got
to.
No, Natasha, Im not going to fight-
So all that stuff about the deep hatred for heroes was all lies?
Well, not all of it-
But theyre heroes, arent they? Theyre fighting an evil wizard. Theyve
got to be heroes.
If you look at it that way, but-
No buts. You gotta fight.
Oleg gave Tom a miserable look.
Oh, all right, Tom said. He rolled up the sleeve of his left hand. Prepare
yourself, Oleg the Fiend.
Yeah! Natasha said. Show him whos the baddest, dad!
Thomas- Alice began. He gave her a wink. She silenced, but rolled her
eyes, taking Kara and Natasha both by their arms and pulling them back.
My dads going to win, Natasha said, glowering at Kara. Hes an evil
wizard. He cant be stopped.
Kara returned her glare. Well, my aunts a school teacher! she said.
Tom flicked his fingers. The smoothie of glowworms did its work,
enveloping him in a green glow. While it was more repulsive than menacing, it at
least was something.
Oleg raised his hand. By the Residue of the Aether, let the borders be
sundered! he said in a voice as grave as a coffin lid covered with fresh soil.
Red plasma seeped down from his outstretched hand, pooling on the floor
in a pentagram of glowing crimson.
Tom assumed a stance only seen in the better of kung-fu B movies, not so
much the Hidden Tiger as the Staggering Drunk. Your days of scrounging are at
an end, Oleg the Fiend. By the blood and honour of the Knights, and so on, I will
stop you here, parasite!
Parasite? Oleg said. So its parasite, now? Those are tall words for to
say while youre robbing me!
Tom grinned. And you tell me that? Youve practically made a career of
it.
I have not! I do not steal, Orlande! I procure only the lost, the forgotten,
the abandoned. The detritus of the esoteric realm: that is my trade. I do not
steal.
So you live off the magical societys magical trash bin. Great job. Youve
really achieved something in life.
Oleg frowned. Do you think this is easy? he spat. Do you think I have an
easy life? I have a family to feed and protect! I have to get by on the scraps of

others sold on the grey market! What did you every have to do in your life,
Orlande? You were born into a family swimming in old money! You dont know
what its like. And you think you can joke with me? Oleg stepped forward into
his pentagram, pointing a menacing finger at Thomas. You can just about go to
Hell!
The room darkened.
Shadows swirled up from the pentagram, whirling around Olegs finger. He
gave them a wide-eyed look.
What the-
And they shot off.
The shadows tossed and turned through the air, making a winding path
towards Tom. It hit him in the shoulder. The shadows lingered on his trench coat
for an instant, finding it an Aegis of the Knights and altogether too tough to
chew, and deflected off to the left.
They whizzed past a wide eyed Natasha, past a staring Alice, and hit Kara
right in the chest.
With a little pop, she was gone, and so were the shadows.
Thomas stared. Alice stared. Oleg stared. Then, Natasha started to
scream.
That almost hit me! That almost hit me! Daddy, that almost hit me!
Oleg stared at his finger in disbelief, holding it out as if it was a rod of
enriched plutonium. Oh my God! That actually works? It never works! Lord Hael
will have my head for this!
Alice strode forward, grabbing him by the throat and squeezing hard. Hes
the second worst of your problems right now, she hissed. Bring back my niece.
Right. This. Instant.
I cant! Oleg squealed. You cant get out of Hell! No-one can! No-one!
~.~
Date: September 26th, 1998
Location: vingt mille lieues sous les mers
Kara enjoyed rollercoasters. Even though she was not This Tall To Ride, she
usually succeeded in getting on them by either using her weaponized doe-eyed
adorableness, by telling the attendees that her mother (who she had by then lost
by running through a crowd in a zig-zag and diving behind the popcorn stand)
had been dead for two years after a terrible and varyingly horrific accident, or
simply by crying loudly.
Because of this, her stomach was more or less used to what was going on.
It was as if she was on a rollercoaster without all those boring safety routines,
one of those exiting ones where your legs hang free underneath you, and one
that was soaring downwards at breakneck speeds.
She wondered if they would really turn out to be breakneck, but stowed
away the thought. You shouldnt let worries distract you from enjoying the
longest rollercoaster ride in your life, or possibly in human history.
It ended abruptly, as most crashes do. But it wasnt really a crash more a
seamless transition from falling to not-falling, with the painful bit left out.
There were flashing lights. There were quite a lot of flashing lights. Green.
Red. Yellow. And in the centre was a large ball made up of a thousand little
mirrors.

A red glow dominated the room, emanating from the floor. Someone
bumped into her. When she turned, she saw a dozen men and a dozen women in
fancy clothes, all flailing about their arms, tapping their feet like the floor was a
hot plate.
She frowned.
The beeping in her ears slowly made place for ear-paining noise, that only
after a few seconds she identified as the kind of rock-and-roll her dad didnt like,
at an unhealthy volume. The red glow of the floor focussed into the flashing tiles
of a dance floor.
She reached up, tugging on the sleeve of a man who moonwalked past
her. Hey, mister! she yelled into the noise. Whats this all about?
The man looked down, giving her a broad grin. Cheer up, my girl! he
shouted back. This is the Underworld!
Underworld? Why would you be happy to be in the Underworld?
The man laughed. Girl, why would I have cut the heads off sixty Teutons if
it wouldve gotten me a place without this?
He held his glass high, grinned, and emptied it in one long haul. Then, he
offered his hand, without pausing his dance. Centurion Verrilius Verus, Legio
XVII!
Kara shook it. Kara Dudley, she said.
Another man danced near, saluting between moves. Whos the kid,
Centurio? he said.
None of your business, legionnaire! Now fill this glass, on the double!
Kara scowled. My mom says alcohol is bad.
Then Im glad your mom isnt here! Verillius said. He began moving
away again, towards a group of legionnaires.
Do you know the way out, mister? Kara called after him.
The way out? What way out? This is Underworld! There is no way out!
There was once this Teuton lass-
One by one, his legionnaires joined him.
-her fathers name was Fritz,
And of all the German girls, she had the greatest-
Kara stuck her fingers in her ears and hurried off.
The song was quickly swallowed by the music, just like everything else.
Even her thoughts. All she could think was DONT YOU LET ME CATCH YOU
MESSIN ROUND THAT APPLE TREE! OH YEAH, EVERY SINCE THE WORLD BEGANThe noise originated from a stage on the other side of the room, where a
man with greasy hair and black sideburns was yelling his gruff voice into the
microphone.
She glanced around, plugging her ears again. Above one of the doors was
a familiar sign of green and white depicting a stickman running for a door. The
little man had horns and a pitchfork, but for the rest it was exactly as she
remembered exit signs to be.
She ran towards the door, bumping into a few people on the way, pressing
the door open with her shoulders.
Welcoming her was the dark.
It wasnt the deep dark, the frightening dark, the sort that pools down into
the cracks and crevices during moonless nights. It was the exiting dark, lit by
neon signs and soft, yellow lamps until little of it was left, filled to the brim with
inviting sounds and smells. And it was slightly chilly, but only just chilly enough
to drive you into the warm arms of a bar but not cold enough to force you inside
from a caf terrace.

Lights were everywhere. Warm yellow lights, glaring green neon lights,
some open flames, and the crimson glow of lava that ran between the buildings
in thin canals and was spouted high by the fountains.
Before her was a broad street full of people walking, running, drinking,
laughing, some men in suits, others in suits of armour, and women in dresses
and corsets and robes of all times and all places.
And above her, the sky seemed to have taken a day off. There was simply
another floor, upside down.
Once shed looked up she couldnt look down again. There were only more
lights there, more tall buildings, covering the roof and the sides of a gigantic,
dish-shaped cave, so large the people right above her seemed like ants and the
buildings on the far side seemed as wide as matchsticks. And all over were pillars
keeping up the ceiling or keeping down the floor, depending on how you looked
at it. Each looked like two Eiffel towers welded together at the tips.
Kara ambled a few steps along the streets. For all the lava that was
streaming around, it seemed quite chilly. She pulled her jacket tighter around
herself and craned over the side of the nearest lava-canal.
Swimming there was a woman, kicking lazily through the molten rock. She
was slim and beautiful, kind of like the women in her mothers magazines,
though even more like those in her fathers magazines. Except for the milk-white
horns.
Hey, Kara called down. Whatre you doing in the lava?
The woman looked up, giving her a brilliant smile. Just cooling off after a
long day. Do you want to come down? Its a heavenly temperature.
Nah, my mom gets upset when I burn my clothes. Isnt it hot?
Hot? Oh, no. They keep it nice and cool at this level.
Kara pointed at her forehead. Whats with the horns?
Oh, do you like them? the woman said, brushing her hair back. I had
them whetted last week.
Yeah, they look nice, Kara said. Im just not used to people having
horns.
Havent been here for a long time, have you? the woman said with a
chuckle. Dont worry. Youll get used to it. Everyone else does. She swam
nearer, hoisting herself up on the stone, revealing a slim figure in a bikini. Im
Lilith, she said. Im a succubus.
A succubus? I thought those ate babies.
Lilith rolled her eyes. Yes, there are all kinds of fantasies going around
about what goes down our throats. And no, none of them hold any truth.
Except that youre pretty.
Sorry?
Except that youre pretty, Kara said. I read The Great Book of
Mythological Creatures With Pictures. They said that, too.
Did they? Well, thank you, I suppose. But you havent told me your name
yet.
Oh, Im Kara. Kara Dudley. I live in Wickerwood.
Or lived, I suppose. Lilith gave her a sweet smile. And for how long have
you been dead, love?
Kara blinked at her. Dead? she then said.
Lilith gave her a look. This is Underworld, love. Everyones dead. Except
for the demons and the succubae, of course, but for the rest- She waved at the
busy street. -these are all dead souls.
Kara looked down at her hands. They looked like they had always done,
except maybe a bit grubby. She wiped them on her pants and looked at them
again.

Im not dead, she then said. I mean, I look alive. And I dont remember
dying.
It happened fast, then. Lucky for you. Such a small thing shouldnt
deserve all that suffering. Give me your hand. I can tell you how it happened.
Lilith held out her hand. Hesitantly, Kara placed her own in the succubuss.
Lets see here, Lilith said. A car A Lady and a Knight Docks oh,
no
Oh, no? Kara said. Whats wrong?
Im sorry, love, Lilith said, but it appears youre alive. Quite alive.
Oh. Okay. Is that bad? I like being alive. I thought it was normal.
Yes, but not here. She leapt out of the lava and onto the street, shaking
the molten rock off her fair skin. Once she stood, she snapped her fingers. Her
bikini grew outwards, and within an instant, she was covered by an unrevealing
white dress.
Hey! Kara said. Where are you going?
Just making sure things get set right, dear.
Can I come with you?
Lilith smirked. Where Im going? I doubt youd be able to keep up.
Her bright white wings flashed out, drew up, and beat down. After a
moment she was but a small, white figure in the sky.
Huh, Kara said. I guess I wouldnt be.
~.~
Asmodeus!
Lilith touched down lightly on the floor of the cave hewn in the side of the
Fifth Circle. Cages of black metal covered the walls. From behind the bars and the
shadows, black muzzles and red eyes followed her steps.
Asmodeus! Where are you hiding?
Wuzza good boy? a gruff voice further into the cave said. Wuzza goodygood boy?
Asmodeus!
In the back of the cave, a hulking figure stood up. The black shape hed
been petting rolled back onto its paws, glowering at Lilith with eyes like burning
coals.
Lilith? Asmodeus said. What a pleasant surprise. Need one of my
dogs?
No. You do, Master of the Hounds, she said with dripping sarcasm. A
living soul is walking through Underworld right past your nose. Or your muzzles.
Asmodeus sighed, a deep, bubbling sound, and threw up his arms. Again?
What is it they see in this place? They should just wait a few decades, and the lot
of them will end up here in any case!
It wasnt by choice, I think.
Whos it this time? A dude with a harp? Another of those Italian blokes?
We should put up a sign saying, no getting your loved ones back, and no free
tours. Thatd clear the matter up a bit.
No, its nothing like that. Its no more than a little girl. I dont think she
got here by the elevator, or even by her own designs. Or that she even realises
where she is, for that matter.
Hm. Ill sort it out. Thanks for the heads-up, Lilith. Lord Hael will be
pleased.
Im not doing this for Hael. Im doing this for the girl.

Sure. Sure. Well, yes, you succubae do always have a sweet spot for the
little ones.
Im going to ignore that, whatever it means. And send one of your tame
ones, Asmodeus. I dont want her shredded apart.
Tame? These are Hellhounds, Lilith. I didnt breed them to be tame. And I
already have one in mind. Orthus! he bellowed. Wheres my sweet little
Orthus?
In the shadows, a growl began. Under the eyes of the beast within, the
bars of the cage glowed cherry-red, then yellow, then white, and melted down
like candles on fast-forward. Through stepped a beast as black as the night sky,
set with four red stars as eyes. Both of its mouths bared their teeth, foam
dripping from the curled black lips.
If anyone is lost, Orthus can find them, Asmodeus said. Who is it?
A girl named Kara Dudley. I found her on the Sixth Circle.
Asmodeus kneeled next to the black beast, bringing his mouth close to
one of the Hellhounds four ears.
Find me Kara Dudley