IELTS NGOCBACH

1. (27/06/2015) People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out.
What are the causes? What are the solutions?
ANSWER
Essay plan:
Introduction: repeat the idea that people feel unsafe at home and outside. 2 important
causes can be identified, but solutions can be adopted.
Paragraph 2: Cause 1: widening gap between rich and poor increase in crime: Vietnam
example burglary and robbery. Cause 2: increasing dangers on roads increase in traffic
example: children cant play in the streets.
Paragraph 3: Solution 1: tackle poverty provide job training help people into
employment. Solution 2: more surveillance cameras to help police enforce safety on public
transport and on roads speed limits, stop careless driving.
Conclusion: repeat ideas in introduction, using some different words.

It is true that many people think that they are no longer safe either in their own houses or when
they are in the street or other public places. Some causes for this feeling can be identified, but
I believe that some solutions could help to allay those fears.
The perception that society is unsafe and that people are at risk even at home stems from at
least two important causes. Firstly, the widening gap between the rich and the poor is one of
the factors behind the rising crime rate in many countries. In Vietnam, for example, burglary
and robbery have become increasingly common, because some criminals turn to crime simply
as a way to survive. Secondly, everyone who uses the roads is aware of the dangers resulting
from the dramatic increase in traffic. In the past, parents allowed their children to play freely
in the street, but this is unthinkable nowadays.
Some simple measures should be implemented to deal with these root causes of insecurity. It
is necessary to provide more job training programs to help people out of poverty and into
employment. With increasing prosperity and opportunities, the need to steal from others would
be reduced and everyone would feel safer. In terms of greater security on the roads, more
surveillance cameras should be installed. These could be placed on trains and buses and also
sited along major roads, which would help to ensure that motorists obeyed speed limits and
drive safely. The public would feel much safer knowing that such cameras were in place.
In conclusion, the problem of poverty as a cause of burglary and robbery and the problem of
road safety can be tackled by effective measures, giving people a greater sense of security.

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IELTS NGOCBACH

Dch i :
cng bi vit:
M bi: nhc li kin cho rng ngy nay mi ngi thng cm thy t an ton c nh
v khi ra ngoi. Xc nh r hai nguyn nhn quan trng ca vn , v cc cch gii quyt
c th c thc hin.
on vn 2: Nguyn nhn 1: khong cch ln gia ngi giu v ngi ngho gia tng t
l ti phm: v d Vietnam trm cp v cp git. Nguyn nhn 2: gia tng cc him ha
ng ph - giao thng ng c hn v d: tr em khng th chi a trn ph
on vn 3: Phng n 1: xa ngho i cung cp cc kha o to ngh - gip ngi dn
c cng n vic lm. Phng n 2: tng cng camera theo di gip cnh st m bo an ton
trn ng ph v cc phng tin giao thng cng cng bo m tc cho php, hn ch
vic li xe u
Kt lun: nhn mnh li ni dung phn m bi, dng mt s t ng khc thay th

Ngy nay nhiu ngi cho rng h khng c an ton ngay c khi nh ring hoc khi ra
ngoi ph hay cc ni cng cng. Mt s nguyn nhn cho vn c th c lm r, tuy
nhin ti cng tin rng mt s gii php c th c thc hin lm gim bt ni s hi ny.
Quan im x hi ang tr nn mt an ninh v mi ngi lun c th gp nguy him ngay c
khi nh bt ngun t t nht 2 nguyn nhn quan trng. u tin, khong cch giu ngho
ln l mt trong nhng nhn t gp phn gia tng t l phm ti trong nhiu quc gia. V d
Vietnam, trm cp v cp git tr nn rt ph bin, bi nhng ngi phm ti ny coi y
l mt ngh kim sng. Th hai, ngi dn khi ra ng lun nhn thc c nhng him
ha xung quanh do giao thng qu ng c. Ngy trc cc bc cha m c th cho php con
mnh t chi a trn ph, nhng iu ny l khng th tng tng c vi tnh hnh hin
nay.
Mt s phng n gii quyt vn nn mt an ninh cn c thc hin t nhng nguyn nhn
gc r. Vic cung cp cc kha o to ngh cho ngi dn s gip cho h c cng n vic lm
v thot khi i ngho. Cng vi s gia tng v ca ci v c hi, nhu cu cn phi cp git
hay trm cp ca ngi khc sinh sng s gim xung v mi ngi s cm thy an ton
hn. V vn an ninh trt t trn ng ph, cc camera theo di cn c lp t nhiu hn.
Cc camera ny c th c t trong tu in, trn xe bus hoc ti cc tuyn ph chnh, iu
ny s gip nhng ngi tham gia giao thng tun th ng tc cho php v iu khin
phng tin an ton hn. Ngi dn s cm thy an tm hn khi bit ang c cc camera theo
di xung quanh.
Tm li, vn ngho i nguyn nhn ca nn trm cp v cp git v vn an ninh
ng ph c th c gii quyt bng mt s phng n hiu qu, gip cho ngi dn cm
thy an ton hn.

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IELTS NGOCBACH

Vocabulary:
allay those fears: [verb] [gim bt ni s hi] make those fears less strong.
Example: The public are concerned about increasing violence on public transport.
We must allay those fears by having cameras on trains and buses.
stems from: [phrasal verb] [bt ngun t] result from.
Example: My fear of dogs stems from the time when I was a child and I was bitten
by a neighbours dog.
burglary: [noun] [trm cp] the crime of illegaly entering a building and stealing
things from it [robbery is the crime of stealing things from a shop/a person/a bank,
usually using violence]
Example: The police arrested the man for burglary after he broke a window, entered
a house and left carrying a TV and laptop.
unthinkable: [adjective] [khng th tng tng c] impossible to imagine or
accept.
Example: It is unthinkable that Britain or France could again become colonial
powers.
insecurity: [noun] [mt an ninh] the state of not being safe or protected.
Example: Measures to deal with the insecurity of the building including building a
high wall and installing surveillance cameras.
surveillance cameras: [noun] [camera theo di, gim st] cameras which record
actions at a place where a crime may be committed.
Example: Outside the bank, the security company installed surveillance cameras to
deter any potential robbers.
sited: [verb] [c t ti...] placed something in a certain position.
Example: The castle is sited on a hill near the river, originally to protect the town against

Bi vit trn gi cho 2 gim kho, mt l gim kho Pete trang ielts simon gii thiu (
chm band 9.0) v mt l gim kho Lee Murray trang ielts liz gii thiu (chm band 8.5 nh
bng im di). y u l hai trang hc ielts uy tn hng u th gii c BC v IDP
gi cho cc hc vin tham kho. Mi ngi thy l cc gim kho khc nhau s c quan
im chm khc nhau nht nh, nn thng cc bi vit mnh post ln hay dng t tt
band 9.0

TASK 2

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IELTS NGOCBACH

Criteria
Task
response

Coherence and
cohesion

Lexical resource

Grammatical
range and
accuracy

Comments
There was a very good attempt shown in addressing all parts of the
question. The introduction is well paraphrased, is well expressed
and is of an appropriate length. Your main body paragraphs are very
good and each contain a couple of good points which are well
developed and supported. The conclusion is of an appropriate
length and uses good academic terminology.
You have structured the work across 4 clear paragraphs, each of
which has a clearly identifiable theme. The points within each
paragraph are well organised and are both coherent and
cohesive. You have introduced the paragraphs appropriately and
have made use of a range of cohesive markers.
There is a good range of vocabulary which is suitable to the task and
you have shown a clear ability in being able to paraphrase. In the
main, you have used appropriate words correctly to convey clear
meaning. Spelling is very good.

Sub-task Score

8.5

8.5

A range of sentence structures are evident as is a range of grammar

tenses. Punctuation was very good.
8.5

OVERALL BAND SCORE:

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8.5