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4 facts about trauma-bonding in abusive relationships
January 25, 2015
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bondin
g-in-abusive-relationships/>
by AvalancheOfTheSoul
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/author/soulavalanche/>
in

Abusive tactics
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/category/abusive-tactics/>,
Trauma bonding
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/category/trauma-bonding-2/>.
Trauma-bonding offers a compelling insight into why people struggle
to escape abusive relationships. Here are four facts about what it
is and why it works and how to break the destructive bond.
1) Trauma-bonding is a real thing
Emerging research is shedding new light onto traumatic-bonding, and its
role in abusive relationships. Also known as the betrayal bond,
researchers have found it occurs in a variety of traumatic situations:
the general phenomenon of victims developing emotional attachments
to their abusers or captors has been observed in situations of
intimate partner violence, child abuse, hostage situations, human
trafficking, and cults. (Reid, Haskell, Dillahunt-Aspillaga, Thor,
2013 <http://works.bepress.com/joan_reid/20/>)
Typically likened to Stockholm Syndrome named after a high-profile
incident in which hostages sided with their captors rather than those
that tried to rescue them traumatic-bonding is an intense attachment
to someone to upon whom we feel our survival depends. This could include
our physical safety, emotional welfare, financial circumstances,
relationship with the children or any other factor which believe is
directly reliant upon the whims of our abusive partner.
Typically, the more extreme the abuse, the stronger the trauma-bond
becomes. This offers an explanation as to why individuals may for many
years stay in violent relationships without feeling able to break free.
2) Abusive partners deliberately cultivate trauma-bonding
Whether or not an abusive partner is aware of the term, most
instinctively cultivate trauma-bonding because it gives them an
advantage in:
* Establishing and maintaining control over their partner
* Eroding their partners self-esteem, confidence in their judgement,
and ability to act independently
* Compelling their partner to stay in an abusive relationship or to
return if they have left.
They do this, according to Dutton and
<http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&sqi=2&ved=0CGA
QFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.researchgate.net%2Fpublication%2F15006319_Emotional_a
ttachments_in_abusive_relationships_a_test_of_traumatic_bonding_theory%2Ffile%2F
60b7d5232780d26ef1.pdf&ei=T68HU--hMqPG7Ab_mIHgDA&usg=AFQjCNHw9M-TphcUOgEOhvx9rpl
ldMjVzA&bvm=bv.61725948,d.bGQ>
Painter (
<http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&sqi=2&ved=0CGA
QFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.researchgate.net%2Fpublication%2F15006319_Emotional_a
ttachments_in_abusive_relationships_a_test_of_traumatic_bonding_theory%2Ffile%2F
60b7d5232780d26ef1.pdf&ei=T68HU--hMqPG7Ab_mIHgDA&usg=AFQjCNHw9M-TphcUOgEOhvx9rpl
ldMjVzA&bvm=bv.61725948,d.bGQ>1981)

<http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&sqi=2&ved=0CGA
QFjAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.researchgate.net%2Fpublication%2F15006319_Emotional_a
ttachments_in_abusive_relationships_a_test_of_traumatic_bonding_theory%2Ffile%2F
60b7d5232780d26ef1.pdf&ei=T68HU--hMqPG7Ab_mIHgDA&usg=AFQjCNHw9M-TphcUOgEOhvx9rpl
ldMjVzA&bvm=bv.61725948,d.bGQ>,
by ensuring that there is a strong imbalance of power in the
relationship, and with a pattern of abuse that includes rewards for
good behavior or times where abuse is lessened/ not present.
Avalanche of the Soul 2013-14
<https://avalancheofthesoul.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/quote1.jpg>
Avalanche of the Soul 2013-14
3) The trauma-bond maintains the abusive status quo
Many of us that have experienced domestic abuse will recognise this
situation as familiar: a dominant, controlling partner is seen as
all-powerful, with often unpredictable mood-swings so we never know
whether Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde is walking through the door. We feel relief
when they are nice to us, but are permanently wired waiting for the
abuse to flare up again, as it inevitably does.
And, when we are abused again, we experience this as validation that
yes, our partner does have God-like control over our emotional or
physical wellbeing. As a result, we come to believe what our abusive
partner wants us to believe, which is that we have no autonomy beyond
that which they grant us, are dependent upon them, and literally could
not survive without them despite the pain and suffering we endure.
Photo by familymwr
<https://avalancheofthesoul.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/biohazard-woman.jpg>
Photo by familymwr
We may find ourselves covering up for our partner, or defending them
when someone else challenges their abuse. We may and often do resist
well-meaning attempts to rescue us from the situation. Its another
reason that it is vital for concerned friends and family to learn as
much as possible about domestic abuse/violence, and persist in reaching
out to offer support.
4) The trauma-bond is breakable
Like a drug, the trauma-bond is addictive. Counter-intuitive as it may
sound, we often become dependent on our abuser as the sole source of
relief from abuse. We invest time and energy in strategies to mitigate
or cope with the abuse, waiting for the high when it temporarily
ceases. These survival strategies are essential, but they change our
thinking so that we become accustomed to the abuse (even whilst it
terrifies and appalls us). Abuse becomes what we know, it becomes what
we understand. This makes us resistant and afraid to be without our
abusive partner.
Love is joy
<https://avalancheofthesoul.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/strong_woman.jpg>
Original photo by Doll Joints

When we do summon up the strength to leave, the trauma-bond manifests


itself as an intense longing for our abusive ex. Sometimes we return to
them because we genuinely feel we love them, we need them, and we miss
them (I did, many times).
However, this is an illusion. It is the trauma-bond speaking to us.
Those that have lived with domestic abuse are often more resilient,
strong, resourceful and intelligent than their abuser allows them to
believe. We are certainly stronger than our abuser
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2014/01/15/your-are-stronger-than-your
-abuser/>:
just look at everything we have done just to survive!
*Learn more about traumatic-bonding.
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/trauma-bonding/> Make a safe
exit plan
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2014/04/18/reducing-your-risk-on-leavi
ng-your-abuser/>
and put it into action. Ignore the insistent pull back to your abuser.
It hurts to resist, but the trauma-bond is not a permanent noose around
your neck. Research shows that it reduces over time. And it really does.*
/*What do you think? What has been your experience? How did you escape a
traumatic bond, and what advice would you offer to others struggling to
get free?*/
Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-14
/https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com
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/Related/
3 major signs you re in a trauma bond
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/3-major-signs-youre-in-a-tr
auma-bond/>
3 major signs you re in a trauma bond
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/08/27/3-major-signs-youre
-in-a-trauma-bond/>
Are you struggling to understand why it is so hard to let go of a
violent or abusive relationship? Here are three signs that trauma
bonding may be holding you back. 1. You re in a violent or otherwise
abusive relationship, and you don t know you d survive without him.
Trauma-bonding manifests
In "Abusive tactics"
What abusers hope we never learn about trauma bonding
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2014/02/22/what-abusers-hope-we-neverlearn-about-trauma-bonding/>
What abusers hope we never learn about trauma bonding
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2014/02/22/what-abusers-hope-w
e-never-learn-about-trauma-bonding/>
Do you think you can t leave your abusive partner? Do you feel hopeless
when you return to a relationship filled with pain? Or, do you dwell on
your toxic ex and struggle to stay away? Then you may be caught in a
carefully crafted trauma bond - but you don t
In "Abusive tactics"
Why we stay: trauma bonding
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/why-we-stay-trauma-bonding/
>
Why we stay: trauma bonding
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/why-we-stay-traumabonding/>

During my abusive relationship, I refused to leave more times than I can


count. When I did leave, I soon returned. The justification that I gave
to myself, and others, for this? Well, I loved him, of course! I really
didn t feel capable of living without him. I was miserable,
In "Getting free"
Tags: abusive partner
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/abusive-partner/>, abusive
relationship
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/abusive-relationship/>,
abusive relationships
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/abusive-relationships/>,
betrayal bond
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/betrayal-bond/>, domestic
abuse <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/domestic-abuse/>,
Domestic violence
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/domestic-violence/>,
intimate partner violence
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/intimate-partner-violence/>,
trauma bond <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/tag/trauma-bond/>
Copyright
Avalanche of the Soul, 2013-15. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of
this material without express and written permission from this blogs
author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be
used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Avalanche of the
Soul with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Post navigation
Dear Avalanche: I feel emotionally battered
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/dear-avalanche-i-feel-emoti
onally-battered/>
Aftermath: Hoovering, harassment and fear
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/02/08/aftermath-hoovering-harassm
ent-and-fear/>
29 responses to 4 facts about trauma-bonding in abusive relationships
1.
Lynette d Arty-Cross <http://lynettedartycross.wordpress.com/>
January 25, 2015 at 10:17 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2854>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2854#respond>

Excellent explanation nice job! :)


Like
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2854&_wpnonce=2dcc252cf3>Like

*
StrongerSoulSurvivor
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
January 26, 2015 at
6:54 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2860>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2860#respond>

Thank you, Lynette!


Like
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2860&_wpnonce=dfb114b8af>Like
2.
minervasue <http://minervasue.wordpress.com/>
January 25, 2015 at
10:25 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2855>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2855#respond>

Its a sick bond, between the abuser & abused. You described it so
perfectly!
It wasnt until CPS was involved that I was able to successfully
leave my abusive relationship. Nothing came of it, but this time
when I left he didnt pursue me. Having no contact with him gave me
time to come out of the fog and become strong. Something I wasnt
able to do the first two times I left. The keys were 1) no contact
and 2) seeing a counselor who specialized in domestic abuse and 3)
finding blogs (like this) dealing with domestic abuse and breaking
free from narcissists. Thank you for caring enough to reach out to
others thru your blog. You DO make a difference. :)
Like
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2855&_wpnonce=1521a16db6>Liked
by 2 people <#>
*
StrongerSoulSurvivor
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
January 26, 2015 at
7:00 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2861>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2861#respond>

Thank you for your encouraging words, and also for taking time

to share your experience and insights. I cant recommend No


Contact enough it is going cold turkey but it literally
saves lives by allowing space for the fog to lift, as you describe.
Like
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by 1 person <#>
3.
threekidsandi <http://threekidsandi.wordpress.com/> January 25, 2015
at 10:29 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2856>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2856#respond>

I know trauma bonding is real. I think when a victim/survivor wakes


to the pattern, they are ready for change. I kept a log. Ironically,
I kept the log so I could try to find a way to predict violent
outbursts, I wanted to see if there was a pattern so that I could
avoid it. When I looked at the log, over the course of six months, I
finally realized I was in trouble. When you are living in between
emergencies, you dont really see it. You are surviving, only. Keep
a log. I kept mine in code, at first, so it would not be discovered.
When you leave, it really helps to resist the pull if you look at
yourself from a third party view. When you think of your life in the
context of it being your best friends life, you wouldnt wish it on
her, you would support her in no contact.
Also, I kept in my pocket a list of his acts that were criminal,
because I did not want my children to be raised in a home where
illegal activities were taking place. Some women keep a list of each
injury, each affair, etc.
Lastly, if I can do it, so can you. That we are able to navigate the
chaos and survive the violence is proof we are strong.
Like
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2856&_wpnonce=988e9b15ae>Liked
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*
StrongerSoulSurvivor
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
January 26, 2015 at
7:03 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2862>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2862#respond>

This is great advice, particularly as keeping a log serves as


evidence (should it be needed for criminal or family court) as
well as enabling us to see objectively, there on paper, the
abuse that is being carried out. So glad to hear that this

worked for you, and you are finally free from that destructive
situation :)
Like
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2862&_wpnonce=6970bcd5eb>Liked
by 1 person <#>
4.
Debra Sutton
<http://signsofagayhusbandbydebrasutton.wordpress.com/>
January 26,
2015 at 6:47 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2859>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2859#respond>

Great Post. Thank you for what you do. Trauma Bonding is the only
explaination for why i stayed in a 22 year abusive marriage.
Thankfully he wanted out. I was discarded. While i was in the
discard phase i found out he had a secret life throughout our 22
year marriage. He is gay and living a double life. He tried to keep
our relationship open to the possibilty of getting back together, if
his new life did not work out. When i confronted him about
information regarding his homosexuality he broke all contact with
me. I am grateful he broke contact. I could not see things clearly
while in the marriage, after being away from him the fog started to
lift. I began to see every thing with clear eyes. It is so hard to
break free from an abusive relationship. No Contact is absolutely
the best way to go. This is hard when you have children, in this
case limited contact that only relates to the children. Keeping your
boundries is so important.
Like
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*
StrongerSoulSurvivor
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
January 26, 2015 at
7:08 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2863>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2863#respond>

Thank you for taking the time to advise others who are caught in
a trauma bond. I can only imagine how strong you are to recover
from such protracted exposure to abuse. Truly amazing!
Boundaries are SO important, because it is essential in
regaining control of our emotions and our lives, giving us the
space we need to heal and recover.

Like
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2863&_wpnonce=3c708587ba>Liked
by 1 person <#>
o
Debra Sutton
<http://signsofagayhusbandbydebrasutton.wordpress.com/>
February 3, 2015 at 2:54 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-t
rauma-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2887>

Thank You Very Much.
Like
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rauma-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2887&_wpnonce=49c6057436>Li
ke
5.
Pingback: 4 facts about trauma-bonding in abusive relationships |
Blog of a College Writer
<https://dinavidscuitee.wordpress.com/2015/01/26/4-facts-about-trauma-bondin
g-in-abusive-relationships/>
6.
jenniferslimm
<https://enlivenenough.wordpress.com/2014/12/13/when-youve-had-enough/>
January 31, 2015 at 5:25 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2880>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2880#respond>

This is it, indeed. Especially how addictive it is. I have described


it as like being addicted to a drug as well. Its like I need people
to restrain me and physically prevent me from returning. I need
rehab to shake it off. I know its bad for me, for my health and
well-being, but I keep returning, hoping that the high will remain.
Like
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StrongerSoulSurvivor
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
February 1, 2015 at
6:02 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2881>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2881#respond>


Hi there
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience here. It
IS so addictive, when I left I found myself thinking, This is
what going cold turkey must feel like. But hard as it is, it is
possible to break the bond. Please dont give up.
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7.
drained
March 26, 2015 at 5:16 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-2971>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=2971#respond>

I am in a 22 year relationship I have left 6 times. This time I want


to leave for good. At least now thanks to your post I know why I
feel the urgent need to keep coming back. I hope to leave in about 4
months when my son finishes his A-levels so I have no more excuses
to keep putting it off.
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?like_comment=2971&_wpnonce=11ae388c5b>Like
8.
Arlette
July 13, 2015 at 12:05 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3186>
Reply
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3186#respond>

Now I know I keep on coming back and to afraid to leave Im gonna


break this forever Im leaving this time good
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AvalancheOfTheSoul <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
July 14, 2015 at 3:34 pm
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Good for you! Massive kudos. Keep safe, be happy.


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9.
Candice
July 14, 2015 at 3:28 am
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3188>
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3188#respond>

Thankyou your so right youve put me back onto the path of freedom.
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AvalancheOfTheSoul <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
July 14, 2015 at 3:35 pm
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3192>
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So happy to hear this helped you Candice. Keep me posted on your


journey into freedom!
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10.
Jason
July 23, 2015 at 2:50 am
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3201>
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3201#respond>

Time does helpbut the pull is still therealways especially if we


try to replace our abuser with someone just like them.
Men hurt, too. Probably not a statement that needs to be made, but
one I keep making. Maybe trying to convince myself that my pain is
valid

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AvalancheOfTheSoul <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
July 23, 2015 at 10:17 am
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3203>
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3203#respond>

So sorry to hear youre going through this Jason. Your pain is


valid. Keep safe, keep moving forward.
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11.
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12.
glimmer15 <http://gravatar.com/glimmer15> August 24, 2015 at 9:54 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3256>
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<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3256#respond>

Thanks to everyone who has been so honest. I left an abusive


relationship for the 3rd time a couple of months ago. I couldnt
understand why I kept going back, and why I find myself obsessing
about someone who hurt me until I found this blog. I thought I was
patethic and weak, but now I know about traumatic bonding I feel
less weak and can talk myself out of contacting him. Love and
strength to all, please remain safe and away from those who we
trusted but violated our love and trust in them.
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AvalancheOfTheSoul <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
August 27, 2015 at 12:01 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3262>
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3262#respond>

Hi Glimmer. Im so glad this blog has helped you. Experiencing


domestic abuse makes us feel incredibly isolated, because
although its an issue affecting a staggering number of people,
as a society were conditioned not to talk about it. Feelings of
shame, self-blame and powerlessness are common (and also
misplaced). A huge Well done! to you on getting out. Youre
strong enough to stay out, too :)
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13.
paula
September 19, 2015 at 7:46 pm
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-trauma-bo
nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3291>
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3291#respond>

Im so glad Ive read this. After 5 year of repeated cheating,


walking on eggshells, rejection, put downs and finally an assault
Ive have made it to 3 weeks without my ex. This last week he has
thrown an avalanche at me from begging and pleading that hell
change , to hatred and evilness to suicide and back to pleading.
Ive felt like I was going insane and literally have climbed the
walls because Im so desperate to comfort him and revert to where I
feel safe. I know hell never change, I know if I take him back
itll be the same treatment over and over again and Ive stopped
myself from caving, just. Now atleast I know Im not going insane.
Its real and I have to get through it as best as I can.
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AvalancheOfTheSoul <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
September 19, 2015 at 7:50 pm
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3292>
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I know how you feel Paula. So glad you see through his hollow
promises and heartless tactics. Keep strong, you are worth
million times more than what hes offering.
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14.
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15.
Debra Sutton <http://signsofagayhusbandbydebrasutton.com/> January
24, 2016 at 6:01 am
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3555>
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Reblogged this on Signs of a Gay Husband by Debra Sutton


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16.
Sharon
January 25, 2016 at 4:52 am
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3558>
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I am so glad to have a name for it. My ex would actually use the


term Stokholm Syndrome as a joke. Since the last breakup.fourth and
final, I thought that fit. It also makes me think he knew what he
was doing on some conscious level. I feel so stupid for still having
feelings, still wanting desperately to fix him so we could have a
real shot. My days vasilate between knowing its for the best that
he isnt in my life and feeling as though I have lost the love of my
life and that I wont ever find it again. Moving on is proving to be
very difficult but maybe this will help. Thank you
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AvalancheOfTheSoul <https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/>
January 25, 2016 at 11:08 am
<https://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/4-facts-about-traum
a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3561>
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a-bonding-in-abusive-relationships/?replytocom=3561#respond>

Hi there. I truly hope understanding how trauma bonding works


helps your recovery. I know how hard it feels, because I felt
that way too but it gets easier every day. I hope it does for
you too.
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17.
A Covert Narcissist s Wife <http://vckhs7.wordpress.com/> January
26, 2016 at 7:29 pm
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nding-in-abusive-relationships/#comment-3562>
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Reblogged this on A Covert Narcissist s Wife


<https://vckhs7.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/4-facts-about-trauma-bonding-in-abu
sive-relationships/>.
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