PARTICIPANTS MANUAL

WHAT MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT RETREAT (MER) IS

A. OBJECTIVE:
Marriage Enrichment Retreat (MER) is a two-day weekend activity for couples to discover
more intimately the meaning of marriage vocation within the context of God's plan. The
weekend retreat provides time to listen to Christian talks, for couple discussion and most
especially prayer and meditation.
B. STRUCTURE, DYNAMICS AND ELEMENTS:
1.

PRAYER - Being a retreat, the schedule provides adequate time for

both common and personal prayer. The retreat is structured in such a way
that every activity is centered on Christ. Prayer is an effective way of
Discovering God's call with faith and humility.

2.

TALKS - The retreat provides a series of seven (7) talks focused on

examining important areas of Christian marriage and family life. The talks
will not only present teachings from the Bible, but practical guidelines will
be provided by Couples speakers.

3.

COUPLE DISCUSSION - After each talk is presented, the husband and

wife will meet exclusively with one another to discuss and pray about
specific aspects of their marriage and family life they need to work on.

4.

ACTION PLANNING - Towards the end of the retreat, the husband

and wife will meet exclusively with one another to discuss and pray about
specific aspects of their marriage and family life they need to work on.

5. FELLOWSHIP - As part of enhancing the relationship of participating couples and

promoting wholesome and healthy entertainment, the retreat provides couples time for interaction as well as program where all couples take part
actively.
6.

EUCHARISTIC CELEBRATION - To climax the weekend retreat on

Sunday, a Holy Mass is celebrated. During the mass, couples renew their
marriage vows and offer to God their action plans.

TEN TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL

MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT RETREAT
1. Follow house rules and regulations of venue.
Follow retreat schedule.
2. Listen attentively and take down notes during the talk.
It can facilitate couple discussion.
3. Win-win attitude vs. win-lose attitude.
4. Problem solving approach vs. fault-finding/blaming approach.
5. Exercise active listening (during the talk and couple discussion)
6. Openness and sincerity to one another.
7. Be realistic in your expectations during the whole weekend retreat.
8. Have a prayerful attitude during the whole weekend retreat.
9. Be humble and meek and help when needed.
10. Formulate action plans during the retreat.

FIRST TALK : SERVING GOD THROUGH CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

God's plan is to save all mankind through Christ and be part of the new creation (John 3:16;
Romans 21:1-8). His plans requires a response from us: to accept it and base our lives
completely on His plan. God's call for our wholehearted participation. He wants us to serve Him.
There are many things we can do to serve Him, but the most important service God calls us
married couples to do is to build strong Christian marriage families. Everything else that we do
to serve God springs from this primary service.
PERSONAL NOTES ON TALK:

DISCUSSION STARTERS:
1. In what ways have we failed to see the important role our marriage has in the work of the
Lord?

2. What can we do to make our marriage more "sold out" for the Lord?

SECOND TALK : THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE AS A PASTORAL TOOL

God's basic intention is for man and woman to come together to become one. Out of the
openness springs forth new life. A family issues forth. The family needs care and nourishment
for the family, their responsibility extends from the temporal care to the spiritual: husband and
wife operating like a "pastoral team". They have roles that are different from each but
complementary.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

DISCUSSION STARTER:
1. How does the set of relationships described in the talk actually operate in our family?

2. What difficulties do we encounter in exercising our roles?

3. What changes and improvements do we need to make?

THIRD TALK : THE ROLE OF A CHRISTIAN HUSBAND

The husband's role is to take overall responsibility for the family. He governs, protects, provides
and leads. This talk discusses what "taking responsibility: for the family entails in
the
concrete. It explains and clarifies in greater detail some of the principles presented in the
previous talk regarding the husband's role.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

FOURTH TALK : THE ROLE OF A CHRISTIAN WIFE

God's intent for a woman is to be a helpmate for the man. The purpose is to complement one
another so that full unity be achieved. Given social pressures, the task of being
helpmate
is
indeed a tremendous challenge.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

DISCUSSION STARTER:
1. For the Husband:
How am I discharging my responsibilities as a husband in the areas mentioned?
How can I get more help and support from other Christian husband?

2. For the wife

How am I living out my role as a helper to my husband?
How can I get more help and support from other Christian wives?

3. For both:
Express to each in what areas one promises to improve and ask your spouse's help in
fulfilling your resolutions:

FIFTH TALK : EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE

Relationship improves with good, effective communication. This talk discusses how this
principle works in a Christian marriage. It presents communication as an expression of love
relationship. It also brings out some of the common obstacles to good communication between
husband and wife and offers practical advice on handling disagreements and improvements in
communication.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

DISCUSSION STARTERS:
1. What obstacles do I put in the way of good communication?

2. What are the areas that need changes and improvements in our communication?

3. Express your repentance to one another.

SIXTH TALK : HEALING OUR MARRIAGES

Many of us by the time we get married may have already experienced hurt or suffering from
scars of traumas or painful memories from the past. Unconsciously, we carry them into our
marriages and they could become obstacles to positive and open relationship. Jesus wants our
relationship restored and healed. If we believe that it is love, then it is easy for us to believe that
healing is an ordinary not extraordinary sign of his compassion and love.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK:

SEVENTH TALK : BUILDING OUR HOMES FOR GOD

This talk discusses how our homes can be out at the service and Lordship of Christ. This talk
explores different ways in homes towards the Christian ideal.
PERSONAL NOTES ON THE TALK :

DISCUSSION STARTERS:
1. What do we have to develop and/or give as a practice in order to make our home a truly
Christian home?

2. What steps shall we take in order to improve the situation in our home?

ACTION PLANNING

: (To facilitate formulation of your plans, please refer to your

previous discussion)

1. How can we, as husband and wife, work together more as pastoral team?

2. Make two resolutions on how you can be more responsible as Christian husband?

3. Make two resolutions on how you can be a better helpmate as a Christian wife.

4. Make two points of agreement on how to communicate effectively as Husband and Wife
(excluding dialogue one-to-one weekly)

5. Make two resolutions on how you can make your home a real home for Christ.

RENEWAL OF MARRIAGE VOWS

I, (state your name) take you (name of husband/wife) to be my husband/wife. I promise to be

true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you all
the days of my life, to have and to hold as my lawful husband/wife from this day forward until
death do us part. I make these promises with all my heart joining to them my gratitude to God for
the blessings with which He promises to sustain our life together, and my gratitude to you (name
of husband/wife) for the affection and the faithfulness which you have vowed to give me as my
beloved husband/wife.