101 Interpersonal Communication Tips

E-BOOK SERIES
Advanced Interpersonal
Communication Skills
INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
101 TIPS
Maximising
your relationship
building effectiveness
Your best investment is yourself
E-Book Series
Advanced Interpersonal Communication Skills
101
Interpersonal
Communication Tips
We communicate with others in every aspect of our lives.
How many of us have every been taught how to be highly effective
in the communication process or how
different people have different ways of
hearing, seeing and feeling?
Effective communicators are powerful
vehicles for change in organisations,
families and the wider community.
We have compiled 101 simple and
highly effective Interpersonal
Communication Tips that you can put
into practice immediately and
experience the positive impact these
Tips have on your communication
and ultimately your relationships.
Network Matters Australia SuperSelf

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005
101 Interpersonal Communication Tips
Welcome
I have created this guide for you for the purpose
of enhancing your interpersonal communication
skills toolkit for improved personal and business
relationships with others.
The tips in this guide are a result of substantial
research, coaching clients and training groups of
people over many years.
Mark Coburn
Workshop Program Director
and Facilitator,
Business/Executive
Coach
I encourage you to put these interpersonal

communication strategies into action and experience
the amazing results you will get.
I wish you all the success you desire!
Mark

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

________________________________________________________
A wise man will make more

opportunities than he finds.
1.
Francis Bacon
Build rapport by matching the persons behaviour

You can match some of the words they say, how they speak and
their body language. People find it easier to get along with
someone who is similar to them.
________________________________________________________
2.
Match behaviour without mimicking

It is important to learn how to match someones behaviour without
mimicking them. The art of matching is to engage similar behaviour
without copying them. Otherwise they may think you are making
fun of them.
________________________________________________________
3.
Show an interest in the person

People like to tell others about themselves and what they do. It is
also important for you to learn about them, so you can better
understand their needs and how you can help them.
________________________________________________________
4.
Show appreciation and respect

Everyone likes to be respected and appreciated. Expressing
appreciation goes a long way to developing trust and rapport.
________________________________________________________
5.
Develop a solid platform of rapport and understanding

of someones needs before suggesting an idea or solution.
________________________________________________________
6.
Develop your rapport building skills by focusing on one rapport

building technique at a time
When you have mastered one, you can start developing the next.
________________________________________________________
7.
Test for rapport by observing the other persons

behaviour
For example, if you are in rapport with someone, they may cross
their legs after you have just crossed yours.
________________________________________________________
8.
Communicate face to face with someone as much as practicable

This is because up to 100% of effective communication is available
to you in this situation. Effective communication comprises of the
words we use (7%), how we use our voice (38%) and body language we reveal (55%).
________________________________________________________
9.
During written communication, be very precise in articulating

exactly what you mean to say
The reason this is important is because only 7% of highly effective
communication is the words you use, so they must be good.
________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

"SuperSelfs Advanced
Mark Coburn is an interpersonal communications specialist and

workshop facilitator. If you would like him to present at your event,
or you require more information, email us with your details.
Interpersonal Communication
Workshop has expanded and
success@superself.com.au
focused my communication
abilities as well as giving me
________________________________________________________
a better understanding of
myself. I am now better
10.
equipped to tailor my
interaction with prospects
________________________________________________________
and clients, making it more

relevant to them."
Ask a quality question to get a quality answer

The more specific you can be with your question, the more likely
you are to get an accurate answer.
11.
Clint McKauge, Accuity
Start the conversation with easy to answer questions

For example, Hi Joe, how are you today? Do you have a
moment?
________________________________________________________
12.
Paraphrase to confirm your understanding

In your own words, summarise what the other person has said.
________________________________________________________
13.
Use I statements when speaking about your own thoughts or

experience
Take ownership of what you are saying. Avoid using you statements in these situations.
________________________________________________________
14.
Let the other person finish their sentence or communication

Avoid interrupting someone while they are still talking, unless you
have very good reason to do so.
_____________________________________________________________
15.
Clarify any assumptions or uncertainty you are holding

If you are uncertain about someones message, ask questions to
eliminate any possible incorrect assumptions you may be making.
_____________________________________________________________
16.
Acknowledge the achievements of the other person

People like to be acknowledged as it gives them a reality check
and someone elses point of view on how they are doing.
_____________________________________________________________
17.
Obtain specificity from generalisations

If you feel the other person is being too general in what they are
saying, ask them to be more specific.
_____________________________________________________________
18.
Emphasize key words when speaking

You can become a more effective communicator by emphasising
key words in the conversation. This makes it easier for the other
person to get the essence of what you are saying.
________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

The most important key to
achieving great success
________________________________________________________
19.
Match the other persons tone of voice

If you are speaking to someone who has a higher pitched voice
than you, raise the frequency of your voice (without mimicking) to
get closer to their level.
_____________________________________________________________
20.
Match the other persons speaking speed

Some people naturally talk faster than others. For someone who
speaks slow it can become frustrating if the other person is
speaking fast.
_____________________________________________________________
21.
Match the loudness of the other persons voice

A soft-spoken person is most likely to be more receptive to
someone else who is also soft speaking.
_____________________________________________________________
22.
Pause occasionally while speaking

This gives the other person time to think about what you are saying. It also makes the delivery of your message more interesting.
_____________________________________________________________
23.
Match voice quality

Does the person have a clear sounding or raspy voice? Matching
quality of their voice can be a little more challenging. You may
need to practice this. Be careful not to mimic.
_____________________________________________________________
24.
Be confident by maintaining upright body posture

Get your posture right and youll start feeling better almost
instantly.
_____________________________________________________________
25.
Maintain eye contact approximately 65% of the time

This insures you are showing an interest without over intimidating
the other person.
_____________________________________________________________
26.
Match handshake strength

You should get an indication as soon as you meet someone as to
how strong or soft your handshake should be. Trust your
intuition here.
_____________________________________________________________
is to decide upon your goal

and launch,
get started,
take action,
move.
Brian Tracy
Mark Coburn is a business and executive coach.

If you are a business owner, corporate manager or executive
and would like to learn more about how he will coach you
to success, email us with your details at
ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

"This workshop has given
me confidence in determining
_____________________________________________________________
27.
Smile with your whole face

A real smile is revealed when your whole face changes. This
includes the muscles around the eyes and the impression that your
eyes are smiling as well as your mouth.
_____________________________________________________________
28.
Match arm postures that lead to positive situations

For example, matching someone by placing your hand under
your chin could show you are thinking about what the other
person is saying.
_____________________________________________________________
29.
Match leg postures that lead to positive situations

For example, matching someone by crossing your legs with your
ankle resting on your knee encourages open communication.
_____________________________________________________________
the different learning modes

and personality types. It has
enabled me to provide
better assistance to my
work colleagues and clients
in relation to negotiation
and mentoring."
Belinda Giles, Boeing
Mark Coburn is an interpersonal communications specialist

and workshop facilitator. If you would like him to present at
your event, or you require more information,
email us with your details at
_____________________________________________________________
30.
Tilt your head to show interest

An occasional head tilt shows the other person that you are
interested in what they are saying.
_____________________________________________________________
31.
Express honesty with open hands

When speaking to someone maintain an open hand posture that
encourages open communication.
_____________________________________________________________
32.
Greet a visual person by saying

Its nice to see you today
The key word here is see. This will focus their thoughts
towards seeing you and most likely replying by saying something
remarkably similar.
_____________________________________________________________
33.
Show visual people what it is you are communicating

Show them pictures or diagrams so they can see it on paper or
describe it to them so they can see it with their minds eye.
_____________________________________________________________
34.
Gesture your message to visual people

If you are talking to a visual person use gestures to give them a
visual aid to support what you are saying.
________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

________________________________________________________
You are your greatest asset.

Put your time,
35.
Dont give too many verbal instructions to a visual person

Visual people get challenged when it comes to remembering verbal
instructions. Remember, paint the picture and allow them to see it.
_____________________________________________________________
36.
Be well dressed and groomed when you meet

a visual person
They like others who are neat, tidy and well organized.
_____________________________________________________________
37.
Maintain good eye to eye contact with a visual person

A visual person will want to see you eye to eye. This helps them
focus their communications with you.
_____________________________________________________________
38.
Take a visual person to nice places

They get stimulated by fully engaging their visual senses amongst
pleasant and colorful surroundings.
_____________________________________________________________
39.
Farewell a visual person by saying Ill see you later

The visual word here that they will relate to is see.
_____________________________________________________________
40.
Greet an auditory person by saying Its nice to hear the sound

of your voice
The key word here is hear. This will allow them to tune into their
auditory receptors.
_____________________________________________________________
effort and money

into training, grooming,
and encouraging your
greatest asset.
Tom Hopkins
For more information about the 4 different learning modes

(visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital) and how to
discern which is the preferred mode of another person,
enquire about our Advanced Interpersonal Communication
Skills eCourse.
Email us today with your details at
_____________________________________________________________
41.
Explain what it is you are saying to an auditory person

They are good listeners and need to hear what you have to say.
Talk to them, clearly articulating the words of your desired
communication.
_____________________________________________________________
42.
Modulate the tone of your voice when speaking to an

auditory person
Its important that what you say sounds interesting as well as the
actual information itself.
________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

_____________________________________________________________
"The Advanced Interpersonal

43.
Let auditory people talk

They like to be heard. We have two ears and only one mouth.
Listen to them and hear what it is they are saying to you.
_____________________________________________________________
44.
Ask an auditory person what music they like

They may even appreciate background music playing while you are
with them.
_____________________________________________________________
45.
Praise auditory people verbally

Thank them by telling them either in person or over the telephone.
They like to hear your acknowledgement.
_____________________________________________________________
46.
Farewell an auditory person by saying Ill talk to you later

The auditory word here that they will relate to is talk.
_____________________________________________________________
47.
Connect with a kinesthetic person by saying How are you

feeling today
The key word here is feeling. This will support them to tap into
their feelings.
_____________________________________________________________
48.
Speak relatively slowly to a kinesthetic person

so they can feel what you are saying.
_____________________________________________________________
49.
Speak with feeling to a kinesthetic person

They will respond well to you if they feel a heart to heart
connection.
_____________________________________________________________
50.
Demonstrate your point to a kinesthetic person with a

practical example
They like to take a hands on approach so it is easy for them to
relate to a tactile experience.
_____________________________________________________________
51.
Be empathetic towards a kinesthetic persons feelings

by saying I appreciate how you feel about the situation.
_____________________________________________________________
52.
Physically reward a kinesthetic person

This could be by means of a gift, a pat on the back or a handshake.
_____________________________________________________________
53.
Allow a kinesthetic person to stand in your personal space

This is because they have a need to get a feel for you at an
energetic level to help them connect and build rapport.
workshop has given me the

benefit of being able to better deal with the different
personality types. I would
recommend this workshop
because it really explains
a solid foundation to the
sales process."
Robert Bauman,
Count Wealth Accountants
________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

_____________________________________________________________
The future depends on what
we do in the present.
54.
Farewell a kinesthetic person by saying Ill catch you later

The kinesthetic word here that they will relate to is catch.
_____________________________________________________________
55.
Provide a detailed account of a situation to an auditory

digital person
These people like lots of information so they can formulate their
understanding.
_____________________________________________________________
56.
Make sure you make sense of a situation when communicating

with an auditory digital person
They need to figure it all out so it needs to make sense.
_____________________________________________________________
57.
Take notes when you are communicating with an auditory

digital person
This gives them an indication you are keeping an accurate record
of the situation.
_____________________________________________________________
58.
Communicate your message in a sequential or logical way to an

auditory digital person
These people process and memorise information in sequences.
_____________________________________________________________
59.
Give an auditory digital person something interesting to

consider
These people like mental stimulation and something to
think about.
_____________________________________________________________
60.
Ask an auditory digital person What are your thoughts?

Create an opportunity for them to reflect on the situation and
share their thoughts.
_____________________________________________________________
Mahatma Gandhi
To learn how to discern which is the primary personality

type of another person (dominant, inspiring, steady or
conscientious), enquire about our
Advanced Interpersonal Communication
Skills eCourse or our
Personality Profiling service.
Email us today with your details at
ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

________________________________________________________
"I have gained some solid
skills to apply to strengthen-
61.
on a situation
Ask them questions, be thoughtful, be curious and be
the discoverer.
_____________________________________________________________
ing client relationships and

building sound new ones. As
a result of this workshop, I
have an increased understanding on how to max-
62.
Allow an auditory digital person to question the situation

Questioning allows them to formulate a precise understanding.
_____________________________________________________________
63.
Farewell an auditory digital person by saying
imise client business through

better understanding how
they operate as individuals.
Learn to understand and auditory digital persons perspective
I am really appreciative of this experience

The auditory Digital words here that they will relate to are
appreciative and experience.
_____________________________________________________________
The workshop was fun, practical and educational."

Tricia Quan, ImpactPR.
64.
Be direct and straight to the point with dominant people

The dominant personality type respects this type of approach.
_____________________________________________________________
65.
Be decisive with dominant people

They dont like wasting time or time wasters.
_____________________________________________________________
66.
Set a clear purpose at the beginning of the discussion with a

dominant person
This also shows your decisiveness and leadership which will earn
you respect.
_____________________________________________________________
67.
Show a dominant person how they can be successful

The dominant personality type is highly motivated by results
and success.
_____________________________________________________________
68.
Be clear, concise and time efficient when communicating with a

dominant person.
_____________________________________________________________
69.
Provide a dominant person with clear choices

The dominant personality type has a need to be in charge.
Providing clear and concise choices leads them towards making a
decisive decision.
_____________________________________________________________
70.
Focus any disagreements you may have with a dominant person

based on the facts.
_____________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005

________________________________________________________
Every great leap forward
in your life comes
71.
Motivate a dominant person by being energetic and illustrating

the bottom line
The dominant personality type will need to get the sense that you
are energetic and driven towards showing them the end goal.
_____________________________________________________________
72.
Do what you say you are going to do with a dominant person

You must demonstrate the ability to follow through on the task at
hand, otherwise you may lose trust and respect with the dominant
personality type.
_____________________________________________________________
73.
Greet an inspiring person by saying I am thrilled to meet you.

The key word here for the inspiring personality type is thrilled.
_____________________________________________________________
74.
Have fun when interacting with an inspiring person

The inspiring personality type likes fun, entertainment and
enjoyment.
_____________________________________________________________
75.
Acknowledge the accomplishments of an inspiring person

This personality type thrives on recognition.
_____________________________________________________________
76.
Be animated when speaking to an inspiring person

You need to keep up the level of interest with the inspiring
personality type. They sometimes have a tendency to get bored
during a conversation.
_____________________________________________________________
77.
Make an impression with an inspiring person.

_____________________________________________________________
78.
Focus on the goals of an inspiring person

The facts and figures can be boring to the inspiring personality
type, so keep them focused on the positive consequences of their
future accomplishments.
_____________________________________________________________
79.
Interact frequently with an inspiring person

This may be a chat on the phone or at a coffee shop.
_____________________________________________________________
80.
Motivate an inspiring person by helping them translate talk and

ideas into specific actions.
_____________________________________________________________
81.
Listen to the ideas of an inspiring person

The inspiring personality type likes to come up with new ideas.
This stimulates and excites them.
_____________________________________________________________
after you have made

a clear decision of some
kind.
Brian Tracy

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005
10

_____________________________________________________________
"The Advanced
Interpersonal
82.
Finish the intended discussion with an inspiring person

This is important, even if it takes a little longer than planned.
Avoid abruptly closing the discussion.
_____________________________________________________________
83.
Open the discussion with a steady person by asking how their

family is, or a specific family member
The steady personality type appreciates this as you are showing an
interest in their personal situation and the people they care for.
_____________________________________________________________
84.
Ask a steady person How can I support you?

The steady personality type is very supportive of other and will
appreciate the same in return.
_____________________________________________________________
85.
Be friendly and comforting with a steady person.

_____________________________________________________________
86.
Avoid imposing too much change too quickly with a

steady person
The steady personality type likes stability. Status quo suits
them well.
_____________________________________________________________
87.
Take the initiative and provide leadership and direction with a

steady person
The steady personality type feels comfortable in following the
leadership of others.
_____________________________________________________________
88.
Avoid rushing a steady person

Youll need to go at their pace, otherwise they may feel
uncomfortable.
_____________________________________________________________
89.
During a time of change, help a steady person put their mind at

ease by offering a safe and seamless transition
_____________________________________________________________
workshop has enabled me to
deal more effectively with
people of all personality
types.
I recommend this workshop
because it was informative,
well structured, fun and
interactive. It was very
professional in terms of the
presentation, the venue and
the handout material.
I have learnt a lot of great
information that I need to
continue to absorb over
time."
Marni Taylor, 2005
Mark Coburn is an interpersonal communications expert

and workshop facilitator. If you would like to experience his
full day Advanced Interpersonal Communication Skills
workshop where you will learn how to put all of these tips
into action, email us at success@superself.com.au
with your details or go to www.superself.com.au
to book into the next event.
ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005
11

_____________________________________________________________
If you always do what

you've always done,
90.
Avoid conflict as much as possible with a steady person

One of the biggest fears of the steady personality type is conflict.
_____________________________________________________________
91.
Provide reassurance about what you are offering a steady person

It can also be useful to offer a personal guarantee to the steady
personality type.
_____________________________________________________________
92.
Prove your credibility with a conscientious person to earn

their respect
Otherwise, the conscientious personality type will be cautious
about making decisions that involve you.
_____________________________________________________________
93.
Be on time when meeting with a conscientious person

They like precision and punctuality.
_____________________________________________________________
94.
Communicate in a logical way to the conscientious person

It needs to make sense to them.
_____________________________________________________________
95.
Be objective with a conscientious person

Clearly state your objectives upfront and make sure you achieve
these objectives on time and as agreed.
_____________________________________________________________
96.
Be patient with a conscientious person

They are not likely to make a quick decision, but when they do
they are usually very committed.
_____________________________________________________________
97.
Ensure you provide a comprehensive answer for the

conscientious person
This personality type appreciates a detailed and well thought
out response.
_____________________________________________________________
98.
Ask a conscientious person Do you require further

information?
This also demonstrates your dedication towards being
comprehensive and thorough.
_____________________________________________________________
99.
Be accurate and precise when communicating with a

conscientious person
This personality type responds well to quality, perfection
and accuracy.
you'll always get what

you've always got.
Anonymous
________________________________________________________

ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005
12

"Advanced Interpersonal
Communication Skills has
given me the ability to

understand who I am and
my makeup. I now realise
that people are not just
their face. I will always look
back into the workshop
manual to confirm my
_____________________________________________________________
100. Clearly present value for money to the conscientious person
The conscientious personality type needs to understand the facts,
figures and benefits of what you are suggesting.
_____________________________________________________________
101. Finally, to ALL people, be fully present and highly focused
during a conversation
Avoid allowing your thoughts to drift off somewhere else.
Otherwise, you may miss something the other person is saying.
___________________________________________________________________
understanding of certain
people."
Paul McCandless,
Prestigious Indoor Plants
Feel free to contact us if you would like to learn more about

our products, services or workshops from one of our coaches.
PO Box 627 Spring Hill

Queensland 4004
Australia
Freecall 1800 005 013

(Australian residents)
International
E-mail
Tel +617 3276 0108

Fax +617 3276 0622
www.superself.com.au
E XECUTIVE & B USINESS C OACHING I NTERPERSONAL C OMMUNICATION FACILITATION
7 STEPS TO SUCCESS SMARTER GOALS STRESS MANAGEMENT PERSONALITY PROFILING
TEAM EMPOWERMENT PROFESSIONAL SPEAKING SELF DEVELOPMENT WORKSHOP
ABN 44 086 516 010
Copyright 2005
13

101 Interpersonal Communication Tips

Enviado por

Dados do documento

Direitos autorais

Formatos disponíveis

Compartilhar este documento

Compartilhar ou incorporar documento

Opções de compartilhamento

Você considera este documento útil?

Este conteúdo é inapropriado?

Direitos autorais:

Formatos disponíveis

101 Interpersonal Communication Tips

Enviado por

Direitos autorais:

Formatos disponíveis

E-BOOK SERIES

Your best investment is yourself

Network Matters Australia SuperSelf