guilt...by picking on white people she can prove to minorities how fair she is to them, she hasn't done a thing of anything noteworthy in her life, besides being white, so she has to go sacrifice some whites to prove how fair she is to minorities re " if yu get out of line, you can't get back in, must go to end of line" HEY OC FAIR LADY, U CAN'T JUST MAKE UP KINDERGARTEN RULES...Ive been going 1
to the oc fair for YEARS now..and I always
try to make it to opening day at 12 noon where they let everybody in free for the 1st hour, but as you can imagine there's also a LONG LINE..., so I did what I've done the past few years, I arrived at 10am, sat in my car for an hour, then walked to the entrance and arrived at 11am for the 12 noon opening, and as I expected, there was already a long line...and I found a spot and focused on reading news on my smartphone...brushed up on what was happening in Sudan...and waited for the line to start moving...last year they actually opened before noon ...but this year they apparently decided to be punctual and waited until 12 noon sharp...and as the line started moving this lady without a nametag showed up by me and a group of black people. I was behind the black people assuming they were in line. The lady didn't say anything, but smiled, and said "Is everything ok?" It was a bit strange but I just smiled back and nodded, the black 2
family said a few things...and she left...but the
line was moving VERY SLOW..however, suddenly I saw the far left line open up, or so I thought, just like last year, after the vendors had arrived they opened up the vendor line to the public, or so I thought, so I jumped out of my line and hoped to be whisked thru this new line...but then somebody yelled out "This is the vendors line" ..I spoke with a young man who apparently saw the cross on my neck and said "Are you with the mission group?" The mission group? was he being sarcastic? I said I am just a regular citizen waiting to get in. It actually seemed like he was trying to trap or trick me into saying I was something that I'm not. Earlier they had handed us tickets while we waited in line and I assumed this was for inventory and showed him the ticket, and he said, sarcastically, That's not the ticket they sell...it's a long white one. Actually, they weren't giving out tickets at all for the 1st hour because everybody is free, ...another gal explained to 3
me that these were for some sort of raffle...;
whatever the case may be, I walked away disappointed and tried to go back to my spot in line behind the black family..and found them ...they were nearing the check-point to enter..and I got behind them again...and there were a few ladies in wheelchairs sort of next to them...not sure what line was what..but sort of thought there were 2 lines and I was side-by-side the wheelchair ladies..then the white no nametag lady re-appeared right next to me...she seemed to have an agenda.. she seemed to be agitating the wheelchair ladies against us or me...suddenly one of the wheelchair ladies said "You could at least go behind me..." I didn't think I was even in her line.. then I said to the no nametag white security lady with white privilege all over her face what had happened...that I got out of line because I thought they were opening up the new line...suddenly she blurted out, "If you get out of line, you can't get back in...u need to go to the back.." I was stunned! I had 4
already waited over an hour, or two hours if
you include waiting in the car. To go to the back of this line meant probably 2 more hours of standing in line. Did she have a rulebook that said "you can't get back in line"? And if so, a LOT of other people needed to go back too...lots of families and kids had been getting in and out of line the whole time. I realized I was being picked on and despised the smug look on her face, and wondered if she in fact had been waiting for the last moment to re-appear to pick on me for some reason, just as I was about to get into the fair. It seemed like it. I was absolutely angry and said to her, "You f---k-g hate me because I'm a white boy". I don't normally use the f word but it seemed to just blurt out of me in a moment of anger. Fact is I'm 49-years old, a grown man, but it was clear she was treating me like a boy, a white boy, so that's what I referred to myself as, expecting her to object, but she said "That has nothing to do with it" without conviction. 5
In fact , this is a common Orange County
problem. The white govt workers, especially police, LOVE to pick on whites over anybody else...it's sickening, and I could never figure out why, because I thought they would want us to be on their side, not against them. But I now realize that white govt workers in OC and some in L.A. despise non-government white people because they think of us as a different class...and these white govt workers have a TON of white privilege...they have been hired not because of any great achievements or excellence in education or anything.. but because they are white compliant people who are actually quite average. They DESPISE AND ACTUALLY HATE white people who don't work for the govt because we represent a threat...; because we expose their white privilege, so they will try to find any very slight infraction to pick on to try to PROVE to minorities (persons of color) that they are unbiased and fair to everybody even though this proves nothing, 6
in their minds they seem to think it proves
their point...it's actually a "human sacrifice" that they feel compelled to perform periodically in front of a large group ...its disgusting and despicable...their white privilege is sickening. But it's not just whites with white privilege , they just happen to be the majority..but you will find latinos , Asians, even a few blacks working for the govt who also have that same "white privilege guilt which compels them to need to find a white person to periodically sacrifice thinking they are proving something. I actually decided to LEAVE the fair AFTER she gave me an "order" which I could not comply with...I could have asked to speak to her supervisor but I'm not sure it would have done much good...if she had an agenda against me, she would have manipulated the situation and made things worse for me...so I bit my tongue and walked away towards my car. 7
However, I add that I had the LAST LAUGH
because the line on the north side had only 10 people in it, so I got in quicker than I would have had I continued to wait in line where the white privilege lady had confronted me. Nonetheless, the "sting" remains...IT was another act of emasculating me as a 49-yearold man here in Orange and L.A county. That's how they control non-govt white workers around southern California...they issue orders and give hostile treatment that ultimately leaves us with 2 choices: to 1) fight/confront or 2) back off walk away feel beaten down & emasculated . Of course we cannot choose option #1 because that means we are aggressive and they will be happy to arrest us. ; but option #2 is just about as impossible. And this leads me to the issue of "black lives matter" and makes me think that blacks feel this emasculation on a regular basis (albeit statistics show whites actually get killed as 8
much or more than blacks in police
encounters) ...so it's really not a black/white thing but an "us v them" thing, and certain types of white males seem to get the brunt of the negative treatment , along with blacks, all with the purpose of "defeating" us. There are two ways of defeating people...1) either literally by physically defeating or even killing us; or 2) by emotionally emasculating and abusing us. I suspect that some of the periodic backlash we see against police partially stems from too much of #2 treatment (emasculation, emotional abuse). It's just human. It was difficult for me to be abused by this lady at the OC Fair...and I'm a 49-year-old white male with college and graduate school degrees who has endeavored to treat all people respectfully including police, even though I haven't always felt it in return. So I end up silently writing about things like this, hoping it does some good...maybe even 9