HD 484A Reflective 1

Running Head: HD 484A Reflective

HD 484A Reflective Study: Development Theory/HD 484B Reflective Study:

Development Theory Analysis
Nancy Muiz
Pacific Oaks College

HD 484A Reflective 2

Introduction
I will write about two events that I have experience in my past. I will start with
my first experience, which was adolescences, and my second experience as an adult. I
will explain how these events made an impact in my life and what I learned. To conclude,
I will give development theories that tie into my experiences.
Experience One
I was thirteen years old in seventh grade. I lived in the guesthouse in the back
with my family; my grandparents lived in the front house. The guesthouse had one room,
a bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room. My sister and me had twin beds one on each
side of the room. So in between my sisters bed and mine there was a night stand with a
lamp.
In the morning of April 30, 1998 my dad had already left to work. The only ones
left in the house were my sister, my brother, my mom, and I. We were all getting ready to
go to school. My sister and me were laughing at the jokes we were saying to each other.
We were so happy that we forgot to turn off the lamp. I didnt remember about the lamp
till third period at school. I asked myself did I turn off the lamp?
This morning I forgot to turn off the light. I didnt think that anything would
happen, we just thought, we would turn it off when we get home from school. As my
mom was at work she got a phone call from my grandmother to let her know that our
house had caught on fire. My mom left her work immediately to see what the damages
were. When my mom went to pick up my sister, my brother, and me from school she told
us what had happen. My Moms eyes were watery and her face got red. My mom started

HD 484A Reflective 3
to tell us that our house had caught on fire and that our room was completely burnt and
part of our living room. As my mom was telling us my eyes got watery too. I felt
brokenhearted specially after seeing my moms face. As I got to our house I felt helpless,
horrible, and hurt after seeing what was left. I couldnt believe what had happen. I was in
shock. I walked through the house and it still smelled like smoke. I felt depressed after
seeing that nothing was left in our room.
After seeing my house destroyed the first thing that came into my head was,
where ere we going to sleep? Thinking about this made me afraid. I asked my mom
where are we sleeping? My mom told my brother, my sister, and me that my uncle had
given up his room for us to sleep in. So all three of us were sleeping in one room and my
parents in another room. It was not the same as sleeping in our own house. All we had
was a blanket and a pillow that my mom had gone to buy for us. We waited for my dad to
get home from work to give him the news. Good thing that my mom had already called
our house insurance and they said to write down all of our valuables. We all felt unhappy
and down. My dad with his enthusiastic mind the said, The good part of this whole
situation is that nothing happened to any of us and that it was only material things.
My dad had just got just got paid and he said, lets go eat and then we will go get
you guys blankets and pillows for the night. Tomorrow will be a new day and we will buy
you guys clothes for school. That night I was restless, I was not able to go to sleep I just
keep thinking how long we would have to stay at my grandmas. The next morning I woke
up, showered, brushed my teeth, and got ready. My mom and dad were taking us to buy
new clothes for school. At this time I felt hopeful, relieved, and happy that my parents

HD 484A Reflective 4
were going to buy us clothes and that we were not going to have to wear the same
clothes.
The insurance sent my parents a check to start rebuilding our home. It took about
a good six months for everything to be finished. Once our house was finished then I felt
excited and fulfilled that our house was ready and that we were able to move back into
our house.
I Learned
I learned that when adolescent is told that her house burnt out, that adolescent will
fell brokenhearted. I learned that when an adolescent loses her belongings in minutes,
that adolescent will feel helpless, horrible, and hurt. I learned that when a adolescent
walks through a burnt house, that adolescent will feel depress. I learned that when an
adolescent has nowhere to sleep that adolescent will feel afraid. I learned that feeling
afraid is normal in an adolescent after seeing what I lost and my moms reaction. I
learned that when an adolescent loses her valuables, that adolescent will feel unhappy and
down. I learned that when an adolescent doesnt sleep on her own bed, that adolescent
will feel restless. I learned that when an adolescent gains her valuables back, that
adolescent will feel hopeful, relieved, and happy. I learned that when an adolescent is told
that her house has been built, that adolescent will feel excited and fulfilled.
Experience Two
My second experience was when I was an adult at the age of 20. My sister and I
couldnt be separated. We were always together a home and at school. As we got older we
both started dating and we would go on a double date together. Well time went by and we
kept our boyfriends.

HD 484A Reflective 5
On March 24, 2005 my sister went out with her boyfriend and my boyfriend and I
didnt go with them. They had been dating for three years. I remember this day like if it
was yesterday. My sister came into our room with a big smile on her face and said oh
my gosh guess what? Well, with a a puzzled face expression I said what? My sister
then told me Im engage, he proposed to me, as she showed me her ring. I felt happy
and excited for her. That night we stayed up taking about her wedding plans. We ended
up going to sleep at four in the morning. My sister had told me that she was not going to
get married till next year. We went together to look at wedding dresses, decorations, and
reception halls. My sister surprised my parents and me on April and said that she was
going to get married by court in May. When my sister told us I felt disappointed,
annoyed, and sad. All I could think about was that my sister was getting married and that
she was gong to leave.
I asked my sister so are you going to move in together when you get married by
court? My sister said no we are getting married by court because we want to start
putting in his papers to legalize him because he is undocumented. My sisters fianc was
undocumented and they needed to get married before the laws changed and it would
become more difficult to obtain a residence card.
May came and my sister got married by court. As time went by the wedding was
getting closer. Then I started to feel concerned, because I didnt know where my sister
was going to move. She then started to look for a house in Santa Maria. When I saw her
looking for houses over there I felt betrayed and irked. At this point, I asked my sister,
where are you going to live? My sister told me that she was planning to move to Santa

HD 484A Reflective 6
Maria because that is where her husband worked. I felt worried and withdrawn from my
sister. I felt jealous because my sister was separating little by little from me.
The wedding by church was two days away and I felt frighten because my sister
was going to leave in two days. The day of the wedding my sister was what you call
bridezilla. She was in a bad mood and was yelling at me. I didnt pay attention to her.
As she walked down the aisle I was crying because my sister was going to leave, it didnt
dawn on me till after her wedding. My sister went over the day after the wedding and
packed a little bit of clothes for her honeymoon. My sister went to Canada in a cruise for
a week.
My sister came back from her honeymoon and she packed all her clothes. That is
when it hit me. My sister is leaving. I felt upset, shocked, and lonely. As my sister
waked to her car with her luggage I started to sob. This was the time to detach from my
sister. My sister was crying and gave me a big hug. I told my sister Im going to miss
you as I gave her a bear hug. Inside of me I felt furious.
I Learned
I learned that when an adult doesnt know what is going on, this adult will feel puzzled. I
learned that when an adult hears good news, this adult will feel happy and excited. I
learned that when an adult gets unexpected news, this adult will feel disappointed,
annoyed, and sad. I learned that when an adult seeing things that are not communicated to
her she will feel irritated and irked. I learned that when an adult hears news that she does
not want to accept, this adult will feel worried and withdrawn. I learned that when an
adult is attached to her sibling, this adult will feel frighten. I learned that when an adult

HD 484A Reflective 7
loses a person they shared most of the life with, this adult will feel upset, shock, lonely. I
learned that when change comes to an adult, this adult will feel furious.
Conclusion
When an adolescent goes through hard times it is likely for the adolescent to feel
emotionally distress. I learned that when an adolescents house burns down that
adolescent will feel depressed. I did learn that adolescents need a lot of support from their
families. When an adult life changes it is difficult for them to cope with change. I learned
that an adult can be affected socially and emotionally become quieter and mistrust people
because they experience detachment from a family member.

HD 484A Reflective 8
HD 484 Reflective Study: Development Theory Analysis
As I write this paper I will be analyzing my two experiences that I went through
as adolescent and young adult. I will deliberate how it affected me emotional and social
development from adolescent to adulthood. I will write about key issues and patterns of
behavior. These two experiences had negative and positive patterns that carried through
out my life.
As I studied my first experience as an adolescent, I learned that when an
adolescent is told that her house burnt out, that adolescent will feel brokenhearted. I
learned that when an adolescent loses her belongings in minutes, that adolescent will feel
helpless, horrible, and hurt. I learned that when an adolescent walks through a burnt
house, that adolescent will feel shock. I learned that when an adolescent loses their home,
that adolescent will feel depress. I learned that when an adolescent has nowhere to sleep,
that adolescent will feel afraid. I learned that feeling afraid is normal in adolescent after
seeing what I lost and my moms reaction. I learned that when an adolescent loses her
valuables, that adolescent will feel unhappy and down. I learned that when an adolescent
doesnt sleep on her own bed, that adolescent will feel restless. I learned that when an
adolescent gains her valuables back, that adolescent will feel hopeful, relieved, and
happy. I learned that when an adolescent is told that her house has been built, that
adolescent will feel excited and fulfilled.
As I studied my second experience as an adult, I learned that when an adult
doesnt know what is going on, this adult will feel puzzled. I learned that when an adult
hears good news, this adult will feel happy and excited. I learned that when an adult gets
unexpected news, this adult will feel disappointed, annoyed, and sad. I learned that when

HD 484A Reflective 9
an adult sees things that are not communicated to her, this adult will feel irritated and
irked. I learned that when an adult hears news that she does not want to accept, this adult
wil feel worried and withdrawn. I learned that when an adult is attached to her sibling,
this adult will feel frighten. I learned that when an adult loses a person they shared most
of her life with, this adult will feel upset, shock, and lonely. I learned that when change
comes to an adult, this adult will feel furious.
The key isssues that my developmental theory addresses are feelings of
depression, insecure, and afraid. All of these feelings affected me socially and
emotionally.
I will analyze the effects on an adolescent by examining the social and emotional
effects of losing my house due to the fire. Having my house caught on fire was
depressing to see specially seeing all my familys reaction and face expressions. Due to it
happening when I was an adolescent it really carries on throughout my adolescent and
part of my adulthood. I will also analyze the effects on an adult by examining the social
and emotional affects of my sister detaching from me.
Through the experience of my house catching on fire as an adolescent and my
sister moving out in my adulthood it has formed negative patterns. A negative pattern that
followed me through my adolescent to my early adulthood was to never leave a lamp on
or any other light on. This can cause a fire if there is a shortage. When an adolescent
loses her house, she feels depress because her self-esteem goes down. This adolescent
may feel worthless and not good enough for her friends. An adolescent that doesnt feel
accepted by who she is emotional issues. These negative behavioral patterns began to
arise when I acquired the feeling of depression and frighten. The reason why I felt

HD 484A Reflective 10
depress was because I was worried about where I was going to sleep and what my friends
would think at school if they found out that my house had caught on fire. I thought to
myself will they make fun of me if they found out. As an adolescent fitting in and
having friends, plays a big role in social and emotional development. I was insecure of
what my friends would think and what they would say. I was afraid that they would think
that I was living in the streets and had no place to stay. Adolescents tend to worry about
what others might think then their family. During this time that my house got burnt, my
self-esteem was low.
Due to the long term pattern of my house getting burnt I always make sure to turn
off the lights and not to leave any lights on. So now as an adult we will leave the house
and I always make sure to turn off any lamp or light that is on. The same thing happens
when I go to visit my sisters house. My sister leaves a night-light plugged into the switch
and it scares me because I feel that the house can catch fire just like our house, but the
only difference is that her house is a two stories. I will wake up five times through out the
night to make sure that everything is ok because she leaves that night-light on all night
for my nephews.
My mom sometimes tends to leave a candle on all night and day. This candle is
not a simple candle it is a blessed candle so she believes that once it is turn on it needs to
stay on. As a catholic we believe in saints so my mom turns on a candle for the saints.
She doesnt turn it off until it finishes and turns off by it self. I dont like to leave candles
on from the experiences that I went through as an adolescent. The only pattern that I cant
change is leaving a candle on all day and night. My mom still does that till this day and
that still scares me, but there is something that I can do.

HD 484A Reflective 11
These negative behavioral patterns began to arise when I felt disappointed and
sad. I felt disappointed because my sister was not telling me things like she used to. She
would choose what she wanted to share with me and what she wanted to keep to herself. I
felt disappointed because I kept thinking what I did wrong for her to act that way. I would
be the last one to find out certain things. I missed my sister and how we use to share
everything about each other. My sisters marriage was a big eye opener for me because
she moved very far. I would go to see her every other week. As my sister packed her
clothes I saw it as this is final she is moving out. Seeing my sister leave broke my heart. I
felt like if I was missing something.
As time went by I kept everything to myself and I wouldnt share certain things
with my sister because of her leaving. I felt a grudge towards her for leaving even though
it is part of life to get married and move out. I felt shock and furious because my sister
was not the same with me when she was getting things ready for her wedding. I would try
to talk to her and she would just argue about everything that I would say. I was shock
because my sister never had acted like that with me. I felt furious because she would do
whatever her fianc would tell her to do and that would make me feel furious.
When my sister had her first child I talked to her about my feelings and how she
made me feel. We talked about things and came to an understanding. My sister asked me
for forgiveness and I did the same thing. I think our relationship has got better but not one
hundred percent. I dont think it will go back to one hundred percent because my sister is
so influenced by her husband that she tells him everything and he makes the decisions for
her. Until my sister stands up for herself then our relationship can go back one hundred
percent.

HD 484A Reflective 12
Since my sister left it was a little hard for me to trust people that were close to me
to move on to their own life. I have learned that some people change and it is part of life.
I am a little more understanding when it comes to change but I try not to get to close to
my own relatives.
Of course, I was missing something and it was my sister we called each other
about five times a day when she first moved. We would talk for hours about our das and
how we felt. My sister had no family over in Santa Maria and that made me feel worried
because she has always been a scare cat. When my sister moved out it made me feel
lonely because there was no one to talk to about certain issues with my boyfriend and
things that happened. I couldnt talk to my mom about certain things. My sister was still
there for me, but it wasnt the same because we wouldnt talk to each other face to face
only by the phone, which to me it was not the same.
During Christmas time my mom likes to leave the Christmas tree on when we
leave to the store. I constantly ask my mom what if the tree catches fire while we are at
the store? So even as an adult, I feel that this pattern has changed into a positive pattern.
I see it as a habit where it doesnt bother me that much like before.
I think that I am building on a positive pattern because little by little it doesnt
bother me when my sister leaves the light on for my nephews. Sometimes I even forget to
turn off my lamp and I wake up scared, but see that everything is ok. Little by little I have
been able to stand sleeping with the light on. The same goes with leaving the lights on the
tree on the Christmas tree when we go to the store really quick. I no longer feel
depressed. The other positive pattern that I have gained since my sister married and
moved on was opening up and communicating more with people. Just letting time pass

HD 484A Reflective 13
by has helped me heal emotionally and socially. In the emotional way I dont feel
depressed or disappointed by anybody. I have learned to let little things go and
concentrate on the life memories that can be treasured. I feel that it is good to teach other
people of situations that can happen. Through my experience, I learned that without
talking or writing about it. It is difficult to change the way I feel. I believe that my
depression and disappointment helped me open up with my sister and talking to her about
how I feel. There are times where I catch myself backing away from family members due
to situations that disappoint me. When I catch myself then I stop myself and talk about it
with that family member.
I dont think my theory speaks for others. It was something that I went through
and only applies to me. Other people have different experience so their theory may only
work for them. With different experience each adolescent and adult can see it differently
and can affect them differently. One hidden assumption could be that an adolescent from
higher socioeconomic status would not be obtainable with events in which they lose their
houses and values their belongings or feeling detach when their sibling get married and
move out.
In order to make my theory more inclusive I would need to consider how these
theories would apply to order socioeconomic levels, different age groups, different
ethnicities, race, gender, cultures, and different locations of where people live. I would
need to collect more data to make my theory more inclusive and to get a wider sample of
population.
To conclude I will like to say that our life goes through many different
experiences that teach us important points about life. Everybodys life is a journey filled

HD 484A Reflective 14
with many opportunities to over come certain behaviors or to learn to deal how to change
them a little at a time. Some people cant change their negative behaviors and they need
help from therapist and psychologist.