HD 484B Reflective Study: Developmental Theory Analysis

This paper is an analysis of the theoretical conclusions I developed from reflecting

on two key life experiences from my childhood and adulthood. I will examine the key
issues that my developmental theory addresses. I will examine any negative or positive
patterns of behavior that may have resulted because of these issues. I will examine
how I could expand my theory by making it more inclusive.
Reflecting on my childhood experience I learned that labeling a child creates a
feeling of inadequacy. I learned labels can make a child feel ashamed. I learned that if
a situation is dealt with by love and support a child will feel assured and comforted. I
learned that labeling a child even just a little bit makes them feel unacceptable. I
learned that when a child is feeling good about themselves words said by adults and
care givers have the power to destroy these feelings. I learned that when a child feels
unsuccessful it invites shame, sadness, and fear. I learned that if a child who feels
ignored or abandoned is unable to ask for help or feel that they are unworthy of being
helped. I learned that a child can prove to be resilient in a tough situation. I learned
that when a child feels loved and secure they can face anything.
In reflection of my adulthood experience I learned that when an adult starts a new
situation he feels nervous and excited. I learned that when adults work together they
feel confident and successful. I learned that when an adult is successful they feel
delighted and encouraged. I learned that when an adult receives good news they feel
relieved and thankful. I learned that when an adult receives bad news they can feel like
their world has stopped. I learned that when an adult is afraid they can feel

overwhelmed, confused, and terrified. I learned that an adult may experience

something unfavorable and feel afraid and worried or calm and hopeful. I learned that
depending on an adults outlook or perspective unfavorable experiences can lead to
feelings of pride and admiration. I learned that when an adult is confronted they can
feel threatened. I learned that when an adult is told something negative by a friend they
can feel shocked, angry, and let down. I learned that when an adult expresses his
feelings at the moment of anger they feel intense, scared, and satisfied
Some of the key issues in my life that are addressed in my developmental theory are
feelings of fear, shame, worry, and inadequacy. These issues have formed patterns of
behavior in my life from childhood into my adulthood.
Throughout my life fear of expressing my feelings anywhere outside of my home
has been a challenge. I feel this comes from not feeling comfortable to speak or be
myself as a young child in school. I have always been described as quiet and
introverted. Honestly, the fear of not being accepted or feelings of inadequacy is the
reason. As I grew it became easier to go along with anything without expressing my
real feelings. I was known as a nice girl. Easy to get along with and this was fine. At
home was different. I would share everything with my parents and my sisters. I would
talk to them about what happened in my day and how I felt. I was comfortable because
I was accepted unconditionally. My parents would always tell me to express myself. I
was smart and had a lot to offer.
I felt confident at home but in my outside world I would go along as if I were
comfortable. I continued this behavior into my adulthood. Always going along and

telling myself Im happy and everything was great. As an adult I began to realize that I
developed a false sense of security. I remember around twenty-three years old I gained
twenty pounds after breaking up with a longtime boyfriend. At the time I was
surrounded by my family and a couple of close friends whom I considered family. One
of these friends told my sister that she was embarrassed of me. She didnt want to go
anywhere with me because of the way I looked. I was crushed and ashamed of the way
I looked. I never saw this reaction from my friend coming. I never shared my hurt or
anger with this friend, but I followed her cue and our ten year friendship drifted apart.
I realize ignoring my feelings and not expressing my self are negative patterns that I
formed. I feel these patterns changed as I grew and continued to develop. For
example, as I entered my thirties I lost one of the most important people in my life. My
mother passed away. I remember my mother telling me to enjoy my life, dont let it just
happen. Take a chance and get out of the house and be myself. I took this advice as
the first step to begin to consciously change patterns of my behavior. I began to speak
out more, give my opinion, and even give advice. I was accepted. In a disagreement,
or if I felt hurt by someone I didnt wait. I quickly identified my feelings and addressed
the issue at the time or soon after. My feelings were accepted. No more fear.
My parents were my safety net and they were gone. I had to learn to build my own
sense of security. The more I opened up with people the more I felt confident and
secure. I was okay. I had the best teachers, my parents.
Its ironic that one of the most worrisome and fearful life experiences in my adulthood
yielded many positive patterns of behavior. Losing my parents was one of the most

devastating issues of my adult life. Even though I was an adult the feeling of being all
alone was almost indescribable. My parents taught me that a persons perspective or
the way they look at the world is very important. I needed to hold on to the perspective
of looking at loss as what good will come out of it. I had my sisters and my life was not
over. Being hopeful and thankful for whatever lies ahead helped me go on. By building
on this I felt inspired to keep moving forward. Feeling satisfied and grateful for what is,
instead of dwelling on what used to be has given me a sense of pride and resilience. I
have continued to examine issues in my life in this way. It works for me and I feel
stronger for those who depend on me.
I believe my theory could speak for others. People are different concerning
demographics, culture, gender, race, and socioeconomics. I think that the fear of
expression, worry, and inadequacy to express is common. Many people are
uncomfortable to communicate their needs. As a child youre told youre on the quiet
side. As an adult being superficial, is enough for most people. Hopefully, people will
care enough and realize that their words are important to share. There are probably
hidden assumptions in my theory. For example, all women do not fear expressing
anger. Close friends for the most part are probably supportive and understanding of
lifes surprises. Assuming that my roommate was being selfish and not reacting to her
own life experiences. Our actions do affect others. There are too many factors in a
persons life to state absolutely how an experience will affect them.
My theory does not address the way people of a different race, gender, age,
socioeconomic status, or cultural background may have reacted to similar situations.
Given all the differences there are many endings my experiences could have had.

People are a product of their life experiences. In order to make my theory more
inclusive I would have to take into consideration other life experiences in addition to
mine. This would introduce other factors which affect a persons development. Factors
like culture, gender, socioeconomic status, religion, personal moral beliefs would alter
my theory and assumptions. This would indeed broaden my theory and make it more
inclusive.
As I stated before I do believe that my theory speaks for others as well as myself.
The key issues addressed are feelings that are shared by many. Ive discovered that
the more you analyze key issues resulting from life experiences the broader issues
become. Its like they grow arms and legs leading to more questions. Or it may give
you that A- ha moment about what may be assumed or left out.