BECAUSE WHEN YOURE DEAD,

YOURE NO LONGER COMPETITION:

The Inner Circle Supplement to
Everyone Loves You When Youre Dead

By Neil Strauss

No names or identifying details have been changed to protect anybody.

BECAUSE WHEN YOURE DEAD, YOURE NO LONGER COMPETITION.
Copyright 2011 by Stately Plump Buck Mulligan, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this
book may be used, reproduced, or shared in any manner whatsoever without written permission.
THIS BOOK IS FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. NOT FOR LENDING, SALE, RE-SALE, OR DISTRIBUTION.
www.neilstrauss.com
Design and Production: Ingrid & Phoebe

In memory of the Neil Strauss VIP List, 2005-2011

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned

So as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
-- Joseph Campbell

==============

[A BRIEF INTRODUCTION]

============

Come, let us join hands.

And, together, we will make a solemn oath:
We have read and understood The Game.
We have read and understood Everyone Loves You When Youre Dead, and
acknowledge that this supplement is only to be read after completing the published book.
We have joined the Inner Circle.
And we are ready for more.
We want to enjoy more moments of truth, yet we recognize that these are not in Everyone
Loves You When Youre Dead because only those with an abiding interest in and
understanding of The Game will benefit from them.
And we want a better understanding of the best routines in The Game, which have been
not just field-tested, but tested on perhaps the most famous, jaded, and high-status people
in the world.
And we want to hear what these individuals, based on their own personal experiences,
think of The Game and its principles.
You may drop your hand now. And lower your voice.
In fulfillment of the above oath, the following are interviews that werent included and

didnt belong in Everyone Loves You When Youre Dead, because they are of interest
mostly to Game readers. Often, I found that using the seduction techniques Id learned
and invented led to deeper rapport and connection with subjects I was interviewingand
thus a more intimate, open dialogue. Other times, my immersion in the pickup
community simply led to more interesting discussions on the subject of seduction.
Whether youre reading for fun or because you want to try some of the material in your
own life, enjoy!

=================

[THE GAME-RELATED]
INTERVIEWS

================

=========

[THE RUSSELL BRAND METHOD]

=========

When I first met Russell Brand at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, he instantly started
talking about The Game: I dreamt last night that I talked to these woman using
techniques from the book, he confessed. The following interview, it should be noted,
took place several years before he met and married Katy Perry.
Russell Brand: What I was astonished with was the faithfulness with the way you
recreate it. When it ended, I was slightly bereft. I enjoyed your academic fascination with
this world, and then becoming it and the realization that its slightly bereft. Mystery
sounds amazing, and comes across as this man-child lumbering thing with this
intoxicating gift.
Did you do a lot of the techniques already yourself, just naturally?
Brand: A lot of it I do intuitively. Its: alienate-isolate-alienate-isolate. Theres no point
in talking to a woman unless youve isolated her from the group. [My radio co-host]
Trevor said, You shouldnt read it, because youll become lethal.
What did you think of the concept of last-minute resistance?
Brand: Right, where they think, I just dont want to be another conquest for this bloke.
Thats where I say, Were just aspects of a universe, facets of life. Were animals in the
moment. Leave this moment. I often do just get naked, like Mystery said, so sex does
have an inevitability about it. If you bring an erect cock into it, youre taking it places.
Once theyre stimulated to the place where they sense orgasm, then sex is going to
happen. The difficulty in my situation is that I just want to meet women and fuck them,
and Im less tolerant with the situation.
Its interesting: You use the idea of scarcity, but in reference to the scarcity of life.
Brand: As long as you can dismantle their conditioning: This is an adventure were
having together, something lovely.

Theres a book called The Art of Loving by this psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, and he
says that we fall in love when we meet someone who we feel is the best possible
person we can be with, given who we are.
Brand: Its when they seem bigger than the machine that we fall in love. Like Lisa [in
The Game] distinguished herself by not responding to your game or techniques, so one
has the propensity to endow them with qualities. I was seeing Kate Moss for a little
while. In a secular age where were no longer saved by religion and people will believe in
anything, we look for salvation and redemption in love. The fact that she was an icon
who represented beauty beyond any personal relationship I could have with her, it kicked
off that impulse to love. You endow that person with love.
But then I see people who date these sex symbols, and once the chase is over, they
sometimes start to see the flaws instead of the beauty.
Brand: You think, Shes lovely, shes beautiful, I can do better. Every time.
Eventually, like with Lisa, that becomes superficial. I had an LTR [long-term
relationship] with Kate, and then started thinking, I need someone with bigger tits, I
need more threesomes, I need a black woman.
The discussion later turns to the concept of demonstrating active disinterest . . .
Brand: Particularly with beautiful women, you start to think: What are you going to say
to them thats going to register? You know, youre beautiful is white noise, isnt it?
Theyve been told that since they were seven years old, probably younger. So its like
you need to find something thats going to intrigue them. I was probably never so
particular as you outline in your bookOh, your teeth are like this. For me it was
more, just like, Youre an annoying little creature, aint ya?
Its a great line, almost like a neg.

Brand: Or, What a cute little individual youve turned out to be. Id be slightly
nervous to say like, Oh I dont like that mole or something. Id worry that that was sort
of too much.
And that actually is too much and too direct. What you normally say is closer to a
neg actually. And the fact that instead of doing the lines, you intuitively understand
the structure underneath, makes it better. Because youre accomplishing the same
end goal, which is showing that youre not impressed and pushing them away a little
bit. And here is the interesting thing: If there was a woman who was really, really
out of my league, I would actually cross the line and make her hate me first. Then I
would win her back over. And Id reframe our hostility into kind of a romanticcomedy flirtatiousness.
Brand: And the fact that when you frame it as such, it becomes acceptable to them.
Hmm, thats interesting. Again thats another sort of very bold idea. I suppose if youre
approaching it from the position of if I dont do this I am not going to get them anyway,
then I suppose it emboldens you.
But theres also the idea of congruence: you cant just say lines. You have to embody
what you say, which I think you do very well.
Brand: Whats happened for me recently is that things are in alignment now, and thats
the reason I think Im all right with women as well, because I look like and talk like what
I am. I dont go, Oh, would you like to be my girlfriend? And then come toward them
like Im going to give them a cuddle. I look like Im gonna be promiscuous and fastmoving. I speak like Im gonna be, and how I am. And now, the way I talk and the way I
dressmy act and my contentare all in alignment with each other.
And its not just congruence, its a form of peacocking and demonstrating value, of
standing out from the plain, ordinary, boring guy.
Brand: If you can think of what Picassos done with images, thats fascinating. And if
you think of what Anthony Burgess has done in A Clockwork Orange, thats an

interesting way of using language. And I think if you talk like everyone else, it becomes
just white noise. Thats the way Ive broken through with television presenting. If you
say, Hello, welcome to the show, weve got a great show coming up tonight, no ones
going to listen. If you say, Hello, youve tuned in, thank you very much. Ill try my
hardest not to disappoint you, nor nothing so as I wont, thats a little different. Whats
the point in saying things people have heard thousands of times in a way that theyve
heard it said thousands of times. So its sort of deliberatelike deconstructive
grammarbut it aint disingenuous. I was obsessed with Oscar Wilde as a kid, so it is
part of who I am.

ELICITING VALUES WITH

================ [THE WHITE STRIPES] ================
While researching The Game, one of the things I learned was how to quickly get into
deep rapport with women Id just met. Several of those methods, like the technique of
eliciting values used below (known as Styles EV), also turned out to be great ways to
draw different types of answers out of musicians.
For those of you who havent read the Routines Collection in Rules of the Game,
heres a quick summary of the technique youre about to read:
When I began learning NLP, I was told to find out a womans core value and trance
wordsand then to use her exact language to convince her to do things she might
otherwise resist. I soon discovered, however, that it was much more effective and ethical
to practice NLP overtly instead of sneakily. So I turned the process that some therapists
use to learn peoples core motivating beliefs (known as eliciting values or EV) into a
discussion that would teach themand mesomething about themselves. Today, I use
this routine not just with women I meet, but in almost every magazine interview I do. Its
a great way to get to know someone very quickly.
The White Stripes were amongst the most closed-off musicians Id ever interviewed, in
part because theyd just begun receiving mainstream attention and felt uncomfortable
with it. Jack White was hesitant to answer almost everything. So I tried Styles EV to get
him and his bandmate and ex-wife, Meg White, to open up.
Whats interesting about this example, particularly in relation to the Tom Cruise
EV youll read later (a more textbook example of the routine), is that Styles EV was
never actually completed with Jack White. We never got to the last answer. But it didnt
matter: he opened up about his fears and vulnerabilities, and that was enough. With a
routine, as in life, often its the journey that counts, not the destination.

I have three questions to ask each of you that tie together. The first one is: Whats a
quality or a value that you need to have in your life in order to feel fulfilled?
Jack White: Its just a sense of history, I think. It really motivates me to want to do
anything. A historical sense of things, enjoying things for their posterity.
What about you, Meg?
Meg White: Curiosity. You need to constantly want things. If you wake up in the
morning and you dont want to read a book and you dont want to learn something, then
youre miserable. The only thing that keeps you happy is when you want to find out
about things.
So Jack, how do you know when you have a sense of history and that its present in
what youre doing?
Jack White: I suppose when we play musicjust in upholding that tradition of folk
music. Theres some sense of performing other songs that other people have written. It
really fulfills that. It feels like Im part of that tradition, and that feels good.
Meg, so how do you know when that sense of curiosity is present?
Meg White: Im happy. I know that thats the only thing that makes me happy. And I
feel alive at that point.
Great. You just answered the third question too, which is how do you feel in that
momentbecause that feeling is your core value in life. Its your motivation for
doing things. And for you, its not money or fame, but to feel alive.
Meg White: Thats so true.
So, for you, Jack, if you can remember the perfect time of when youve been
performing a song someone else has written and you felt like you were upholding
that tradition, how did that make you feel inside in that moment?

Jack White: I have a problem enjoying things at the moment. I really do. I can look back
on the show and say, Certain things were good, and we got something across. But at
the exact moment, Im too much in some other thought that I cant actually enjoy it. And
Im scared of actually enjoying things at the moment, because if I ever do, then my
creativity is destroyed.
Really?
Jack White: I think so. A lot of times you will see certain performers be really happygo-lucky about what theyre doing and it almost conveys a sense that its not important or
its easily blown off. We could do a great version of Death Letter by Son House a
certain night, and if I was smiling and enjoying every moment of it, I dont think anyone
would understand how much that song means to me.
So what thought do you actually have at the time while youre playing?
Jack White: Just trying to get involved in that story and that character as much as
possible. Sometimes my voice will change into whatever that character happens to be for
the song. Its just acting the part of that story, I guess.
I was listening to Alan Watts, this Zen philosopher, and he was saying that if youre
thinking about the future or the past instead of living in the moment, then youre
not living life at all.
Jack White (laughs): Its hard, man. Its very hard. Im still struggling with that too. Im
learning. Im afraid of it. Im afraid of enjoying myself in the moment. Im scared that it
would ruin whats good about what I do.
Maybe it comes from the fact that in your songs, youre expressing yourself through
other people.
Jack White: Yeah, most of the songs and the stories inside those songs are other
peoples situations. Theyre not mine really.

It would be interesting to express your own stories.

Jack White: Yeah, I guess so, but Id be afraid to tell people that it was myself.

=============

[THE GAME ON THE GAME]

=============

While interviewing the rapper The Game I met him on the set of his video shoot for
Dreams, the hit best known for the lyric, I had dreams of fucking an R&B bitch like
Mya.
On set, Game had something important on his mind. And that something was 52,
wearing a black silk robe, and named Mya. She was playing a small part in his video, and
Game was making a small play for her. Her trailer was filled with red roses and, as Dr.
Dre pulled up in a gold Aston Martin Vanquish, Game was talking with Mya outside. He
was playing shy, digging the toes of his trainers into the pavement while Mya listened
bemused, stroking her chin. The next day, I asked Game about his Game.
How did she feel about your lyric about her?
Game: Oh, she didnt mind. She was cool.
Did you run any game on her?
Game: A little bit. Well, I didnt game her up, man. I kind of, you know I did my
thing.
So you tested the waters to see if she was interested?
Game: Shes a real sweet girl, man. Well see what comes out of this.
Were the flowers from you?
Game: Uh. Um. Well. Yeah, they were, man. You saw that?
Yeah, Im writing a book about these pickup artists, and they call that an SOIa
statement of intent.
Game: I just sent her flowers to show her, Hey, its me. She appreciated them, man. It
was a good thing to do.

So how is your game?

Game: Im pretty clever with my words. Im somewhat of a ladies man, I like to think.
Even before you were famous?
Game: When I was on foot and didnt even have a car, I was taking girlfriends from guys
who were driving Excursions and Benzes, man. I come in under the radar, and I give
women what they want and what they need to feel like its genuine. Most men are
assholes, and after the first date they want to fuck a girl. I wait. Patience is a real virtue
when dealing with women, man. If you can show that you have a little patience, youll
win every time.
Thats true.
Game: You have to act like it doesnt even matter. If they start making out, you say,
Not so fast, we should wait. And then tomorrow night might be your night, you know.
These pickup artists say the exact same thing. Do you think you learned your game
because you grew up with a lot of women in the house?
Game: When I was staying with my mom, it was just my mom, my grandmother, and my
sisters, so it was a lot of women. My brother was already a teenager running wild, so I
had a lot of time to study women.
What else do you got?
Game: Humor and just being a nice guy is wonderful. You always want to start off
opening doors, even if you dont normally do that.
I think if youre a thug and you open doors, its cool. But if youre a wuss and you
open doors, youre just a bigger wuss.
Game: Yeah, now if youre a wuss and you kick somebodys ass in a bar, then thats
cool.

============

[LADY GAGA ON THE GAME]

============

While I wasnt surprised to learn that The Game fancied himself a player, I was surprised
to learn that Lady Gaga was into The Game. Not only had she read it, but shed used
some of the principles. Some people say that her song LoveGame, with its lyrics about
three seconds and indicators of interest, was based on The Game. I always denied it, but
this interview made me have second thoughts.
The following took place when we were discussing her then-unreleased song,
Born This Way, and the idea that some people have trouble being themselves, because .
..
Most people don't know who they are yet. So when you tell them to be themselves,
they dont know who that is.
Lady Gaga: I think that that's sort of what the conquest is in the show and in the music:
Be whoever you want to be. That's what I say on stage every night: Tonight and every
night after, you can be whoever it is that you want to be. Its a journey in life. Like all
those old great books, you go on this quest, this teenage quest, and you discover yourself.
You make lots of fucking mistakes. You get drunk and wake up in a ditch somewhere.
You fly to Spain with no money. You do whatever it is that you do, but you discover who
you are with this series of trial and error. You have to make an effort for yourself.
That's every great myth from Greek mythology to Star Wars. I wrote this book, The
Game, which I think
Lady Gaga: I know The Game.
In my mind, it wasnt a how-to book, but a quest for self-esteem, because I was that
lonely loser guy and trying to figure out how I could relate to women and just
people in general. It was the exact same journey where you confront the demons of
your subconscious and your trauma, and you come out the other side.
Lady Gaga: I wrote a song today aboutmaybe don't write about thisbut I wrote a

song today about . . . I'll play it for you, but basically the song is a word in another
language that means bullshit. And the song basically celebrates and sort of struggles with
how we, during heartbreak, can't be strong without the bullshit. We don't want to dance
alone, no matter what. So in the verses, I'm just being pathetic and desperate talking to
someone. And then we get to the chorus, and I just start to sort of free myself and say I
wish I could be strong without all the bullshit. I wish I could dance on a single prayer. Its
so true, but you can't really say bullshit because bullshits kinda not a very clever word,
so I found this. I'll play it for you and I'll explain it to you. There's this ongoing essence
of freedom and release and connection to God, and I used to get really worried and upset
about people trying to catch onto what kind of music I'm making or the style or who I'm
working with.
Right, because youre worried theyre gonna steal it or whatever . . .
Lady Gaga: But I have come to a place where I've stopped living in that fear and I just
try to listen to myself and say, Nobody can do it like you. You're you!
I know. I get paranoid when I spend two years on a book, then it takes six months to
come out. And I start to feel like I keep seeing the idea everywhere.
Lady Gaga: And then someone found the cure for nose hairs or whatever it is, and you
wrote the book.
Thats why you have to know that yours is the best cure.
Lady Gaga (yelling): But mine is the best cure and nobody writes that cure like I do!
Even with The Game, people told me, You can't name it The Game. There's a movie
called The Game. I said, Fuck it, this is The Game.
Lady Gaga: And now it is The Game. Very successful book.
I know, crazy.
Lady Gaga: Amazing!

So weird.
Lady Gaga: So exciting! Not weird, wonderful! I know a lot of guys that read that book.
They probably used that stuff on you too . . .
Lady Gaga: Oh yeah, I used it on somebody once.
Did you really?
Lady Gaga: Yeah, I wanted to have sex, so I checked my email.
Awesome, you did the freeze out!
Lady Gaga: I wanted to have sex and the guy wasn't paying attention to me, so I checked
my email.
And all of a sudden the ego thing starts going.
Lady Gaga: And he was like, What are you doing?
That's awesome. Once you understand how people work, you're like, Oh, that's
how it works. Its just so simple.
Lady Gaga: Although I'm sure now that you just went through a break-up, you're
wondering about the game. I'm laughing, thinking you must know exactly what to do:
You wrote the fucking bible of relationships.

====

[ELICITING VALUES FROM TOM CRUISE ]

====

The following exchange took place with Tom Cruise over lunch at the Scientology
Celebrity Centre. You may recognize the last line from The Game. And you may
recognize the routine, because its exactly what I did with the White Stripes. Only I got to
the end of it this time.
Ive never done this with someone Ive interviewed, but this is a great way to find
out who somebody is and what makes them tick. Its called eliciting values, and its
just three easy questions.
Tom Cruise: Sure.
The first one is: If you had to pick one thingone qualitythat you need to have in
your life in order to feel that life is worthwhile, what would it be?
Cruise: Truth.
Truth. Cool. And so if you have truth in your life, what kinds of things does that
allow you to do?
Cruise: Different things in different ways. Let me think.
Let me ask that differently: Name a situation in your life where youve had truth.
Cruise: Oh, with my relationships, Ive had truth.
In what way?
Cruise: Yeah, Ive had truth. Whether its with my kids or with women or friends. And
its allowed trust. Because, heres the thing about me, people can tell me anything and I
will not judge them. I know the kind of relief absolute truth gives to someone. Can you
imagine the relief you have when you look at someone and go, Yeah, I did that, and
that person just looks at you and says, Hey man, thanks for telling me. Youre like,
Whew.

So, lets just say that at some point in the hypothetical future, youre in a situation
and you have absolute truth with everyone in your life. You have that with your
sisters, nephews, people youre working with, directors, even the people on the set
with you. And you all can feel that sense of relief when you communicate with
truth.1
Cruise: Absolutely!
Can you imagine that scenario? How would that make you feel inside if you had
that?
Cruise: Extraordinary.
Extraordinary? What would that extraordinary feeling be inside?
Cruise: Peace.
There you go, peace. So that is your answer. That is your core value in life, thats
what its all about for you.
Cruise: Wow (laughs).
Its interesting, and explains a lot about you. Even when youre looking for
something totally adventurous, you dont necessarily want the adrenaline rush, you
want the feeling of peace that comes with that. Its cool, because when we were
talking, and you said the word extraordinary, you actually felt that feeling of peace
inside then.
Cruise: Yup, thats exactly what I felt.
See, we fulfilled your core life value in five minutes. You can die now.
Cruise (laughs): Im just getting going. Dont cut me off fella.
1

Note that its important to always repeat the persons exact words back to themin this case, absolute
truth and reliefto accurately paint the picture. Their words have a very specific meaning and
resonance to them.

But, seriously, whats interesting is that I never would have known that about you.
From the way you talked earlier, I would have that that you were an adrenaline
junkie. But youre not. Youre a peace junkie. Those adventures make you feel
peaceful inside.
Cruise: And adrenaline is part of that, because you have to go through something. I dont
find peace through withdrawing. I find peace through understanding and exploring and
reaching, because when I understand something, even if its as simple as understanding
another person or the scene of a particular moment, suddenly it comes to you. There is a
certain kind of expanse that I have. And thats the peaceful feeling youre talking about.
Exactly, and when you say extraordinary and peace, those are words that you use to
define a certain emotion inside. It may not be what everyone else defines as peace,
because its a specific feeling for you. So the lesson in this is: if you have to make a
decision in life, whether its about taking a job or a relationship in your life, if it
brings you closer to that extraordinary feeling of peace, then its the right thing for
you. If it takes you away from that, then its the wrong thing.
Cruise: Thats cool. Its fascinating. The choices that an individual makes is what they
create around them. You know, I dont really keep counsel with others. Im the kind of
person who will think about something, and if I know its right, Im not going to ask
anybody. I dont go, Boy, what do you think about this? Ive made every decision for
myselfin my career, in my life. Right or wrong, I did it.

=====

[TOM CRUISE & EYE-ACCESSING CUES]

======

Another routine I used with Tom Cruise, and many other interview subjects, was reading
their eye movements. Heres a brief snippet of our dialogue. Ive included it here because
theres an interesting cold-reading element you can sometimes add to the routine if
someone who is right-handed looks up and to the left side.
With communication, only seven percent is what you say. The rest is tonality and
body language.
Cruise: Thats why talking over the phone is tough. Because I cant see your face, Im
thinking, Is there a smile over there? There was a pausewhat does that mean?
Exactly. Whats amazing is that once you learn to read eye movements, you can tell
so much, like whether someones lying or telling the truth, and how they think. For
example, if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Cruise: It changes at certain points, I like going to Colorado. If I want to climb, if I want
to hike, its gotta be Colorado.
The reason I asked you is because I wanted to see how your eyes moved. So you are
actually a combination of a kinesthetic personsomeone who think with their
feelingsand a visual person. When you were thinking about it, your eyes went
down into your feelings, and then they went up for a picture.
Cruise: Thats cool. I didnt know that.
Another interesting thing is that you are actually a lefty. When you visualize, your
eyes go up and to the left. Rightys go to the right. Were you born left-handed?
Cruise: Thats amazing. I was. I started with my left hand. I shoot bow and an arrow
with my left, but shoot a pistol with my right. Its bizarre, isnt it?

A BRIEF LESSON IN NON-NEEDINESS

==== [FROM FAB MORETTI OF THE STROKES] ====
Drummer Fab Moretti is, it should be noted, the member of the Strokes who dated Drew
Barrymore for five years.
When you were younger, were you the clown of your group?
Fab Moretti: When I was really young, girls were always like, you know, Youre my
friend. But then I got to a stage in my life when all of a sudden, everything changed. I
just decided, like, Fuck everybody. And as soon as I became a dick, I didnt want to
talk to nobody. I didnt want to fuck everybody. And that was immediately when girls
wanted to go out with me.

============

[CHUCK BERRY ON ONEITIS]

============

Since rock pioneer Chuck Berry has a weakness for women, I brought my girlfriend
along to increase my chances of having the cantankerous guitarist sit for an interview.
She ended up teaching him to use his iPhone, on which he was trying to find the murder
ballad The Knoxville Girl, recorded by the Louvin Brothers in 1956.
Berry: Was it in there?
Girlfriend: No it wasn't. I found the Louvin Brothers, Satan is Real.
Berry: No, its not on that.
Girlfriend: Songs that Tell A Story?
Berry: You know what, I think I looked through those. I tried to get Knoxville Girl and
couldn't for some reason.
Girlfriend: Knoxville Girl? I found it!
Berry: These young folks, they're masters with those things.
Girlfriend: Want to hear it?
Berry: I don't wanna do it cause I'll cry. I don't want to cry in my interview.
Girlfriend: Would you like to hear a sample of it?
Berry: It takes me a little time to cry, so I guess so. (She starts playing the song.) I want
to leave it alone cause I'm getting that feeling. I don't want to cry. He murdered the girl
and he murdered her because he loved her2. How about that? Don't listen to this no more!
She stops the song.
That song gets me. Especially that line where he goes, Go down, go down you
Knoxville girl, you can never be my bride.
Berry: Its cold but its pure.

The lyrics to the song are about a boy who goes walking with the girl he wants to marry. And for no
reason, he starts beating her with a stick until she dies, then throws her into the river.

Its funny because they talk about rap being so bad now, but songs were always
violent.
Berry: We see people do things because they're crazy. When you really love someone, I
never had the experience of killing anybody, but I can see where it would cause you to do
something very, very serious that you never would have done.
What gets me about the song is that he never gives a reason for killing the girl he
loves.
Berry: Or what about that song where the guy apologizes for stopping by the house of a
woman he likes. Thats sad, because it happens to a lot of us. You know, you're really
lonesome bad and come to find out they're married or you're not gonna get it.
There's a word that people in The Game have for that situation. Its called oneitis.
Berry: Oneitis?
Its a disease where you're obsessed with just one person, but she doesnt take you
seriously as a romantic possibility.
Berry: Oneitis? Now I got it. Its like a disease of the mind.
Exactly.
Berry: A person too free-hearted would be give-itis.
Thats one of the symptoms.
Berry: Oh, I can make those words up all day. Give me another word (laughs).

====

[ACCESSING GWEN STEFANIS EYE CUES]

====

Sometimes, the right routine can lead to a longer and more interesting interview with
someone. Heres the prelude to the Gwen Stefani scene in Everyone Loves You When
Youre Dead.
If I can tell you something you never knew about yourself, then lets take a break
and go to dinner.
Gwen Stefani: Oh really? Do I want to know stuff about myself?
It wont be anything bad.
Stefani: No (laughs)? Okay, lets see.
Think about going to the beach.
Stefani: Okay.
Are you imagining youre on the beach?
Stefani: Yeah
When you thought about going to the beach, I saw your eyes move to two different
places. First, you got a visual picture, like you imagined what the beach looked like.
Then you went to a feeling place, and you imagined what it would feel like to be
there.
Stefani: Oh, wow. Thats exactly what I thought. Like my eyes tell you where I think?
Yes, and generally youre a visual person first, but then you go to your feelings to
process something. So your eyes scout things out, then your feelings kind of
interpret them.
Stefani: I believe it. Thats like chemistry. You see someone, and then you get a feeling
about them.

So is that something you knew about yourself before?

Stefani: Where do you want to go for dinner?

=========

[HOWARD STERNS SECRET SELF]

=========

What happens after an interview ends in a magazine?

Lets take the Howard Stern interview in Rolling Stone. Though the way he
brought up his anger problem was a perfect place to end the interview for the reader,
what happened immediately afterward is that we went straight into the Secret Self
routine.
This is a powerful rapport-building and value-demonstrating piece of material, but
before attempting it, read the description and warning below from the Routines
Collection in Rules of the Game:
One evening, I was at dinner with my girlfriend at the time and Billy Corgan from the
Smashing Pumpkins. He walked us through an exercise he had done with one of his
teachers that helps people with their inner demons, issues, and insecurities. Since then,
Ive done it with hundreds of other people. It can be a powerful, transformative
experience. However, not every woman will be willing to expose this vulnerable side of
herself. So make sure you have a sufficient degree of trust, comfort, and rapport before
starting this discussion. If she seems uneasy with the topic, just drop the routine and talk
about something else.
If you look at your life now, you're on radio and TV 24/7 and nobody's bored. You
have a beautiful wife and what appears to be a great relationship. You've succeeded
in all your goals and are paid better than almost everyone, and yet you're still not
happy. What would it take to make you happy?
Stern: I don't know. That's so complicated. There is an anger inside of me. Once in while
I can douse it with some water, but it just never goes away. I don't know how to get rid of
that.
Where do you think that anger comes from?
Stern: I had something to prove to the world, to my father, to every woman that never

fucked me. You know, everything. It was all over the place. Im not saying Im fully
evolved now. Im not Buddha. Sometimes its hard for me to accept that I dont have
every listener, and I havent written every good joke. I get competitive. But thats no way
to live. Im tired of walking around angry. Its a burden. And thats why Im trying to
find balance.
So what's the brass ring for you now?
Stern: Years ago I would have answered that to do another movie or this or that thing.
I'm not sure how to answer that. I think the brass ring is to actually find some balance.
The whole idea of balance is to live with that anger or understand it, and somehow it
dissipates. But I don't know if you ever get rid of it. I think that that would be beautiful,
but I don't know what it would take.
Billy Corgan did an interesting exercise with me called the secret self. He says to
take a part of yourself that you really don't like, such as your anger, and you start
out by giving it a name. What would its name be?
Stern: Lucy.
What would it look like?
Stern: A lot like your girlfriend (laughs). The anger would probably look like a big ugly
witch from The Wizard of Oz type thing or something that pours out of Sigourney
Weaver's stomach in Alien. Like something you'd just want to cut out.
The thing about that is you can't extinguish it or cut it out. Its part of who you are.
But where there was once an actual purpose for that anger in your life, now that
you're older, its not necessary anymore. So you have to give Lucy another job.
Rather than destructive, give her a constructive job. So the last question is, if you
had to give Lucy a constructive job in your life to help you, what would it be?
Stern: Hmm, so I've got to take my anger and somehow make it constructive? [. . .] I
understand what you're saying. The thing that comes to the top of my head is sort of how

I could channel it with work, which shows you I'm a bit of a workaholic. I could take that
energy, that angry energy, and channel it into somehow making the show better, taking it
and using all of that energy rather than wasting it on something ridiculous. Putting that
energy into something creative. When I think creative, I think of the radio show, TV, that
kind of stuff. It would energize me, but I'm sure I'm answering that . . .
That's the perfect answer. It would be your manager and creative partner.
Stern: Yeah, because when that energy is so fucking pervasive, it actually blocks you
from doing anything. That's a good way to look at it. So tell Billy to write a new fucking
album if he's that smart.

===

[CHRIS ROCK ON HUMOR & ATTRACTION]

===

The most important thing in a man is a sense of humor.

Ever heard a woman say those words?
I heard them a lot too, and in the days before The Game, I believed them. I even
became the class clown in school, hoping it would help. But it didn't.
Later in life, after being backstage at countless rock concerts and watching
women throw themselves at humorless bands, I realized this couldn't be true. Especially
compared to backstage at comedy shows, where there were no groupies to be found.
But being an investigative reporter by nature, I didn't want to rely on just my own
experiences before discounting the myth. So during a Rolling Stone interview, I decided
to ask someone who many consider to be the funniest man performing today about it.
Do comedians get groupies?
Chris Rock: You probably get more business groupies as a comedian. As a rock star,
you get a more sexual thing.
What's a business groupie?
Chris Rock: Somebody with, you know, a script, saying, Hey, here is my script, here's
my writing sample. I flew from four towns away to get you this. I was in your hotel lobby
in Seattle and Vancouver. Please read this script.
Girls always say they want a guy with a sense of humor. But it seems like they chase
athletes and rock stars and rappers and serious actors more than comedians.
Chris Rock: Yes, comedians are the bottom of the ladder of getting laid. If everyone's at
the party, comedians would be the last guys picked.
Why do you think girls say that?
Chris Rock: You don't listen to the other part. They want a rich guy with a sense of
humor. Big difference.

I know a lot of rich guys who do horribly too. I think women respond more to a
certain set of high-status behaviors than money.
Chris Rock: That may be. The thing with comediansthe reason the other people
always get laid instead of usis that everyone has a mystique. There is a mystique to
being a singer: What is Prince like? What is Sting like? What is Nelly like? You don't
know them. Comedians have absolutely no mystique. They get to know us too quickly.
And so you end up in the friend zone?
Chris Rock: Yeah, they get overly comfortable with us. At the end of the day, comedy is
some nerd shit.

====================

[HUGH HEFNER]

====================

In the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, I decided to ask Hugh Hefner, whod just
decided to start dating multiple women, how he picked up his girlfriendsand, as
mentioned briefly in the introduction to The Game, if the male desire for sleeping with
new women ever goes away.
How did you meet your girlfriends Brande, Sandy, and Randy.
Hefner: Im randy.
Sorry, I meant Mandy.
Hefner: When I was clubbing, I met a girl named Brande Roderick at the Opium Den, a
club that she had not frequented very often. Just about a month later, I met the twins at
The Garden of Eden. Their names are Sandy and Mandy Bentley, so I am now dating
Brande, Sandy, and Mandy.
You obviously meet tons of people.
Hefner: Yes.
So what made them, you know
Hefner: Very special ladies?
Yes, exactly.
Hefner: Well, with the twins, you know, theyre actually college kids. Theyre a couple
of nice Catholic girls from Chicago, my hometown. The night that I met them, I said,
You girls dropped out of heaven. Then they had a drink with me. I got their names, but
I didnt bother to get the last names. Didnt bother to get the phone number. And
suddenly they were gone. It took me about a month to find them.
So they stuck in your mind?

Hefner: Oh, yes. They made a big impression, big impression.

How did you find them again?
Hefner: Well, I found them in school. One of them is in pre-med in Las Vegas. The other
was in a private Catholic school in Chicago.
And then?
Hefner: I coaxed them into each coming out here.
How did you coax them? Love letters? Boxes of candy?
Hefner: No. I talked to them on the phone. It's a very special relationship.
Is there any way to avoid the drama? Im just thinking...
Hefner: There was more drama in my marriage then there was now that I'm dating three
girls. Curious, but true. And it's been about eight months now.
Have you ever had a relationship with several people before?
Hefner: Oh yeah, sure. Not quite in the same way though.
How is this different?
Hefner: Well, we do everything together. [. . .]
Would any of this be possible without Viagra?
Hefner: Well, I think it would be very difficult without Viagra. I think theyre
underselling Viagra, because its more than an impotence drug. It's a recreational drug. It
eliminates the boundaries between expectation and reality. It permits a level of pleasure
that is otherwise just something you hope for. I think its as important in its own way as
the birth control pill. Its being tested now on women, because there is some indication
that it may have similar effects for them.

I know women who take it just to go out and party.

Hefner: Yes, well we've done that. We've had some, you know, Viagra nights. Anything
that reincreases and reinvigorates sexual prowess and blood flow is likely to have some
other positive effects.
What are your thoughts on male desire: even though youve slept with over 1000
people, when you see a beautiful girl, you still desire her. When is enough enough?
Hefner: They talk about the Darwinian Imperative that has to do with the male DNA
wanting to get the DNA into the next generation. I guess thats part of it because you see
it in nature with other kinds of species. Men have a roving eye. I think that in my own life
it comes and goes depending on what kind of relationship I am in. In other words, while I
was married, I was faithful to the marriage. I didn't have any problem with that at all after
having lived the life I had lived before. Immediately after the marriage ended, I was
seeing a great many women.
So do you still want to have more kids to pass your DNA on to?
Hefner: I don't think so. I have had two families and that's enough, unless I found myself
in a relationship where that became very important to the woman. . . .
How much of our actions and ambitions in life do you think are motivated by
sexuality?
Hefner: How many people have said that they got into music because they want to meet
girls? One of the things that is fascinating to me is that with all the taboos and
controversy surrounding sex, the reality is that sex is the major motivating factor
probably on this planet. It is also the source of civilization. Its the attraction between the
sexes that really makes the world go around.

PLAYING THE LYING GAME WITH

======================= [MADONNA] =======================
While Madonna and her dancers are waiting backstage to rehearse a live performance for
German TV, the topic of body language comes up.
I find it very disconcerting to talk to people who dont look you in the eye, she
says. I dont know what to do. It freaks me out. Or when they shake your hand and hold
onto it too long.
When I tell her that you can always tell when someones lying by looking for
telltale signs in their speech, body language, and eye contact, she says she wants to learn
this skill for business negotiations. So I demonstrate the Lying Game for her (as found in
the Routines Collection in Rules of the Game) by asking her to tell me three things shes
done that day and to make one of them a lie.
Her answers: I worked out.
I had sex.
I ate a tuna fish sandwich.
Despite rumors to the contrary, Madonna is not a good liar. When I point out
which statement isnt true (she didnt eat tuna), she cracks up and throws her legs into the
air. We have to learn this, she squeals to her manager.
This means she had sex today, which brings us to the subject of The Game.
Madonna: So tell me the tips. Its all about the formula, right? I want to know if anyone
has tried them on me (laughs cruelly).
I explain group theory, and paying less attention to the woman youre most interested in.
Madonna: That always works.
The other thing is realizing that while guys are attracted to looks, women arent like
guys. Status is more attractive to them.

Madonna: Thats sad. Not that I didnt know thatyoure just validating it. But its true.
Women need status, because they want to know you can protect them, yeah. Probably
hundreds of years ago, it was about how much work you could do on the farm.
Or being the ruler of the tribe.
Madonna: That makes sense. Its all so tribal. It hasnt really changed a bit.
So let me ask you, separate from looks, what are other ways youve noticed a
woman can become desirable?
Madonna: Irregardless of looks and like going to the gym, what does a woman do to be
desired? From my book and my perspective, its knowledge. To know things. To have
things to talk about. To be a wealth of knowledge. I suppose Im attracted to people who
are that way3. I cant imagine being attracted to somebody who didnt really have
anything to say, that really didnt know anything. I think thats my attraction. Thats my
value: That I know things. But I dont think all men like that necessarily. I think that
another trick when it comes to men is to make them feel that they thought of something
even if you didthats the trick, and youre just agreeing with them.
The discussion continues, until Madonna later asks . . .
Madonna: Did you learn anything about relationships?
Actually, the best advice I got on relationships was from one of the most odious
pickup artists I met, a guy who looked like Jabba the Hut and was really crude.
Here, Ill ask you first: What do you think are the three most important things in a
relationship?
Madonna: The ability to listen, resilience, and sense of humor.

Thus the importance of DHVing.

He had a different answer: He said the three most important things were honesty,
trust, and respect. If one of those things are missing, love cant exist.
Madonna: I think I agree with that, but explain the difference between honesty and trust.
They go in different directions: honesty is about how you act and communicate with
someone else, while trust is how you feel about their actions and communication.
Madonna: Good distinction. I think those are essential for a good relationship. I like my
answer too though. You can handle anything in a relationship if youre resilient, if you
have a sense of humor, andwhat was the other thing I saidif you listen. Because
there are two sides to every argument, and often times when youre 100 percent sure
youre right, theyre right toofrom their perspective. Its just very hard for people to get
their head around it.

A FIELD REPORT FROM

================== [ORLANDO BLOOM] =================
At the end of one of my last emails to the VIP list, I discussed an interview with Orlando
Bloom, and his fascination with the culture of pickup artists. And I promised Id reveal
what he most wanted advice on at the end of this for-your-eyes-only e-book.
When Bloom asked for advice, it was a paradigm-shifting moment for me,
because he was acknowledged as one of the best-looking and most famous actors in our
culture at the time. And I realized that the information I was learning was not just for
wimpy, pasty-faced wallflowers, but for successful, popular, and good-looking guys as
well: almost every male, it seems, feels like he could be doing better with women.
First, we discussed Blooms game before he was famous.
Orlando Bloom: I used to take the Tube to school in London, and I fell in love on the
Tube all the time. Id see these women and be in love, but the chances of having a
conversation were so slim unless it was somebody who was a little older and you smiled
at them or you got up and gave them your seat, and then theyd let you get into a little bit
of a conversation. People are so in their world, trying to hold it together, worrying or
concerned about being late for work or whatever it is.
I really want to keep having good conversations. When you become somebody
who is publicly recognized, you have to disarm them. They project this idea of who they
think you are, and you have to show them thats not really it. Im not any of those
characters I play. Im acting. Thats what I do for a living. It would be great to think that I
was part-Legolas, though.
How did you do with women when you were younger?
Bloom: I was a natural when I was younger. Id be with five girls a week, no thought.
Then I moved to London and dated, when I was a teenager, an older woman who opened
my eyes sexually.

How would you meet these women?

Bloom: I used to just make eye contact, and wait until she went to the bathroom.
Bloom then tells me about an experience he had the previous night. Hed seen a woman
in a flowing white dress on the beach. She introduced him to her friend, and they went up
to his room. It was on with the girl in the dress, but he wasnt sure about her friend.
They stood on his balcony, and he told her, I want to kiss you. Just as they were
kissing, her friend walked out and asked, Should I go?
Bloom replied, You can stay if you want.
And she said, to Blooms surprise, Threesome?
I dont know, Bloom replied, honestly. Ive never had one before.
So they got on the bed, and Bloom kissed one girl, then the other. In the end, the
girls refused to interact with each other, but they did both take turns having sex with
Bloom. What helped with this, he confessed, was that his assistant, as a joke, had bought
him extra-long-lasting condoms with desensitizing cream.
I asked him if it was true that hed never had a threesome before. He said that
once in Japan, two girls had flashed their breasts at him and offered him a threesome.
But he couldnt take them up on the offer because hed had another girl in the room.
That was when he asked if there were any techniques for having a threesome, and
I described in detail the dual induction massage from The Game.
His last words as the conversation ended: We have to hang out in LA.
The lesson: Where the techniques in The Game will help you meet women and
help writers like myself have better interviews, a working knowledge of them will also
help you build your social circle. In fact, an inherent danger of The Game is that it will
attract as many men hoping to learn the knowledge as women.

=====================

[POSTSCRIPT]

=====================

Thanks for reading. And remember: This document is for the Inner Circle only, so make
sure you keep it to yourself. Dont blow it for your fellow members.
If youve only read this once, take some time to go back over the routines and
learn them for yourself, whether you want to use them to work better or play harder, to
bond with your boss wife or to sleep with her.
Best of luck!