Circle Leader's Handbook

CIRCLE LEADERS HANDBOOK
U S SECRETARIAT COMMUNITY PILLAR

RESOURCE MATERIAL
_______________ COMMUNITY _____________ DIOCESE
U S Secretariat Community Pillar
Resource Material
Circles Leaders Handbook July 2009
CIRCLE LEADERS HANDBOOK

Table of Contents
1. Introduction
Purpose of this Document
2. Circle
Circle Mission Statement
Purpose of a Circle
Prosperous Circle VS Weak Circle
3. Circle Leaders
Job Description
Detailed
4. Circle Meeting
Meeting Guidelines & Agenda
Guidelines for Presentations
General circle Presentation Outline
Suitable topics for presentations
Annual Schedule
Rules for Sharing
Circle Meeting Welcome Letter
Circle Resources and websites
5.
Appendix
Words to Ill Never Find Another You.
WWME Mission Statement
Circle Leaders Commissioning
Resource Material
Purpose of this Document

The purpose of this document is to provide the basics for establishing, hosting,
and continuing a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Circle. Local Areas may want to
add additional information to this document to provide additional formation
according to local guidelines and traditions.
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CIRCLE* MISSION STATEMENT

A Worldwide Marriage Encounter Circles Mission is to support and encourage
encountered couples and priests to live fully intimate, responsible relationships and
assist the Worldwide Marriage Encounter movement in renewal in the Church and
change in the world. It does this by inviting and welcoming all new couples and
priests completing a Weekend that are from the general vicinity of the Circle.
Circle is a monthly gathering that provides support of sacramental spirituality
through presentation, dialogue, prayer, sexuality, journeying with others with
similar values & reevaluation. Circle must be always open to new members, and
actively invite and welcome all couples and priests completing a Weekend that live
nearby.
Circle provides enthusiastic support for the Weekend by being focused on the
values and purpose of WorldWide Marriage Encounter.
Circle extends to its members the Lords call to be Open & Apostolic
inviting and encouraging members to help strengthen their marriage,
and by doing so also strengthen the local Marriage Encounter
Community
being actively involved in promoting the Weekend through the local
inviting structure
supporting the Weekend as prayer sponsors, prayer vigil couples/priests
inviting members to consider as couples other ministries in the
community and in the church
always open to inviting new members, and guiding and mentoring these
new couples into circle
Through Circle we hear and act on the final instruction from the mass:
Go forth to Love & Serve the Lord.
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Note*: In some areas of the country Circles are called Image or Dialogue sharing
Groups.
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Purpose of Circle
1.
To keep the weekend experience alive by journeying with other couples

who share similar values and experiences.
2.
To share our love with others and achieve our WWME mission to renew the
church.
3.
To reach out to new couples and priests from the Weekend and welcome and
guide them into the Circle by being mentors to their new lifestyle.
4.
To unite in community and sincerely try, as couples/priests, to develop our

spirituality through the tools of daily dialogue, sexuality, prayer, and reevaluation.
5.
To invite to the Weekend. This allows us to spread our special gift of the
Weekend to other couples & priests.
6.
To provide monthly presentations that are challenging and motivating to our

relationship.
7.
To enthusiastically support the needs of the Weekend by responding to the

Friday night bag drag, sponsoring a couple/priest by praying for them,
taking an hour on the 44 hour prayer vigil, helping couples to join
community after their weekend, and by supporting couples as they face the
struggles in todays modern world.
8.
To encourage couples/priests to be open and apostolic in seeding Gods plan

in their relationship.
9.
To recognize and call forth gifts that couples/priests possess that could
contribute to the welfare of the WWME local community and to the
Church..
10.
To accept responsibility as part of the local WWME Community by

participating in Community Nights, fund-raisers, family events, etc.
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WHAT MAKES A CIRCLE PROSPER
WHAT WEAKENS A CIRCLE
1. Focus on relationship
** Be a Couple**
1. Focus is only on socializing

**Relationship Takes a Back Seat**
2. Couples care about each other

** Be Lovers**
2. Gossip
**Negative talk about others**
3. Couples believe in dialogue

** Be Dialoguers**
3. Couples are not committed to dialogue

**Commitment of Other Couples Weakened**
4. Circle format is followed

** Be Faithful to Schedule**
4. Circles format not followed

**Circle Becomes Long**
**Erratic Schedule Inhibits New Members**
5. Guidelines for sharing followed

**Establish a Quiet Atmosphere**
5. Sharing guidelines not followed

**Sharing is Inhibited, Intimidating**
6. Sharings are accepted as gifts

**Be a Good Listener**
6. Sharings are answered

**Sharing is Looked at as Problems**
7. New couples are special

**Welcome New Couples Enthusiastically**
7. Circle becomes a clique

**Inward Focused Circle**
WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER
CIRCLE LEADERS JOB DESCRIPTION

The Circle Leaders are responsible for establishing and/or maintaining a circle
in their area. They will work closely with the local Community Pillar
Coordinators in getting information relating to Marriage Encounter to the circle
couples, and to actively invite new couples from each Weekend to join their
circle. They are also responsible for making sure that the circle meetings
follow the guidelines that are established by Worldwide Marriage Encounter.
General responsibilities of the Circle Leaders are:
Conduct a monthly Circle meeting following the WWME format of prayer,
presentation, 10/10, dialogue and open sharing.
Ensure that the circle and meetings stay focused on M.E. values
Obtain and provide M.E. information (weekend dates, community event
dates, etc) to the circle members.
Invite assigned new couples and priests completing a Weekend to join the
Circle, and do everything to help them feel welcome, and guide them in their
new lifestyle.
Maintain a master list of circle members, including their names, addresses,
phone numbers and email, and provide the list to all circle members
Provide information concerning the circle (i.e. inviting events, new
members, new baby, etc.) to the local Newsletter Couple
Coordinate and assist with scheduling and rescheduling monthly meetings,
as needed
Establish a Circle Prayer Chain & process
Stay excited, promote Marriage Encounter and daily dialogue, and keep the
circle alive
Attend Circle Leaders meeting as scheduled by the Circle Coordinator or
Community Pillar Coordinator.
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Specific Circle Leaders responsibilities Re: Circle:

Mail or email or call to extend invitations for Circle to all members and
prospective new members, 2 weeks prior to meeting date.
Create business meeting agenda and either email prior to meeting or make
copies to distribute at Circle Meeting. Gather info from newsletter as well as
Pillar meetings, Area Coordinator, etc that needs to be filtered to the Circle.
Circulate sign-up sheet for any upcoming Circle Meetings or Community
events
Circle Leaders responsibilities Re: WWME Weekends
The most important one: Personally call and invite every couple or priest
from the Weekend that has been assigned to your Circle. Welcome them to
their new WWME lifestyle, and let them know about the importance of Circle
in keeping their relationship growing after the weekend. Answer any questions
they might have.
Attend weekend Bag Drag when possible
Attend End of the Weekend activities (Afterglow, Sing Out, Etc)
Very important for couple retention
If possible the Circle Leader should not be a prayer couple allowing them
to circulate, warmly meet and greet all couples that will be feeding into
their Circle.
Send the Welcome Letter upon receipt of the final Weekend List.
Attend the Weekend Reunion if couples making the weekend will be assigned
to your Circle.
Add new couples to your Circle Database.
Maintain a roster of Circle members, which should include name, address,
phone, email, church parish, wedding date and encounter date.
Maintain & update the Circle Leaders Handbook as necessary.
Participate in Community Prayer Chain
Attend Circle Leaders Meetings high priority
Attend Community Pillar Meetings if possible
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Attend Leadership Weekends, Enrichments, when offered.

Attend WWME National & Section Conventions, if possible.
.
CIRCLE MEETING GUIDELINES & AGENDA

Send a monthly invitation for Circle Meeting to all circle couples/priests. Make
sure the words Worldwide Marriage Encounter are included on the invitation.
Begin the meeting on time
Begin with a prayer or prayer service (can be delegated or part of volunteer sign
up process)
Introduce new couples/priests. Everyone should wear nametags if new folks
attend.
BUSINESS PORTION OF THE MEETING MAX 20 MINUTES
Announce dates of upcoming Weekends.
Encourage attendance at Bag Drag and especially the Sing-out (Afterglow)
Announce information regarding upcoming events
Encourage inviting for the weekends.
To plan an inviting event sponsored by the Circle
Announce Wedding and Encounter anniversaries for the month
Circulate Presentation/Hosting sheet to solicit volunteers
PRESENTATION, 10/10 & OPEN SHARING: 60 90 MIN
Presentation 15 20 min max

10/10
Review the Rules for Sharing
Open sharing 30 min max
Helpful to announce that you will end the sharing by _____ time.
Closing prayer and petitions invite open prayer petitions
Thank everyone for coming and adjourn for fellowship and snacks. (open ended
time)
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Guidelines for Presentations
There is only one real rule for presentations. Everything else listed below should
be taken as suggestions for assembling and presenting a talk.
The First and Last Rule is: Please share yourself and your marriage
relationship.
How to put together your presentation:
Examine your recent dialogues. Is there a pattern to them that is due to
something in your relationship or in your life together?
Make a list of current issues and events in your life together. These can be
either joyous or trying events.
Dialogue about your chosen subject or theme. Share appropriate portions of
your dialogue.
Use specific recent examples of your feelings and interactions.
Divide the presentation evenly. Each spouse should share him/herself and
his/her point of view.
Target your talk to be 10-15 minutes long.
When your sharing comes from the heart, it will be accepted and will be
meaningful to all who hear it.
Things to avoid:
Preaching and teaching. Let your sharing speak for itself.
Dont worry if there is no conclusion or tidy solution to the events or
problems you present. Love is a journey. We have not arrived at the happy
ending where all things are known. We can only share where we are at the
moment.
Sharing your spouses point of view. Let your spouse speak for him/herself.
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Generic Circle Presentation Outline

The following outline and accompanying list of topics are included here to help
you develop presentations for your Circle.
Remember that the most important part of the talk is you and what you share of
yourself and your feelings. If you are open and honest, your talk will be terrific!
Always try to limit your talk to about 15 minutes or so.
1. Preparation before writing:
Before you start writing on a presentation you need to get some background
material. One of the best ways to obtain this material is through dialogue.
The first step is to select a topic from the list following this outline. Be sure to
pick a topic that both you and your spouse agree is a meaningful to your
relationship.
Next, write at least three dialogue questions (more is okay) that relate to the topic
of your presentation. Then dialogue on the questions you have selected. Use both
the written and verbal portion of your dialogues as input to your presentation.
2. Writing your presentation:
a. Introduction: This is the section that gives the couples a glimpse of what is to
come. Start by giving the title of your presentation and why you selected it. It
is appropriate to start with a short prayer. It is also appropriate to give a short
scripture reading that is associated to the topic of your presentation. (The
scripture reading may be read at the beginning or end of your presentation.)
The scripture reading will provide emphasis to your talk and help turn
everyones focus to God and His role in our lives. The introduction portion of
your talk should last approximately two minutes for each spouse.
b. Body of talk: As the title implies, this is the section that contains the main part
of your sharing and should take about 5 minutes or so for each person. The
following are some questions you may ask yourself to help you develop this
section:
How do you feel about this topic? Share feelings, not judgments.
How are we doing in this area now?
How are we agreeing or disagreeing on this topic?
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How am I succeeding or failing on this topic and what are its effects on us?
How am I acting or failing to act on this topic?
What are the blocks and obstacles (in me) which I must overcome in order to
grow in this area?
What do I need to change about myself?
What is my plan for growth in this area?
Where do I want to be with this topic and how am I going to get there?
How does our dialogue help us in this area?
c. Conclusion: In this section you tie up any loose ends and summarize your talk.
This portion of your presentation should only last 2-3 minutes each and should
include a Dialogue and Sharing question.
i) Give a dialogue question appropriate to help the group apply to their own
lives what you have just shared. Provide ten minutes time to write and
ten minutes time for personal dialogue.
ii) Give a question for each person to respond to in the open sharing. It
could be the same as the dialogue question or it could be different.
Remind everyone that sharing is always voluntary.
iii) General comments about sharing should be given that sharing should
always focus on our feelings. It is not a discussion. When new couples
are attending the Circle meeting, it is helpful to go over the Rules for
Sharing. If there are no new couples, it is still helpful to remind them to
please not respond to the sharing of another person or couple, and that
our role during sharing is simply to listen and try to accept the other
person.
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Suitable topics for presentations

This is not a complete list. Use it to stimulate your thinking. Revise any topic as
appropriate so that it best suits your situation. Refer to the topics listed on ERL
(Encounter Resource Library) for topics and outlines. The ERL website address is
provided later in this handbook.
Feelings awareness of mine
and yours
Behavior patterns
Our self-image and how it
affects my intimacy
Compliments
Anger
Romance in our lives
Our married single attitudes
and activities
Disillusionment
Joys in our lives
Fighting and confronting
Healing old and new hurts
Decisions we have made to
love our spouse
Your superiorities
Intimacy
Sexual frequency or sensitivity
Our leisure time
My work, and yours
Handling our money
Spending our money
Disciplining the kids
Our prayer life

Planning our time
Our dialogue
Our vacation
Friends
Death
Television and its effect on us
Loneliness
Listening
Living Gods plan for us
Trust and risk in our
relationship
Living our sacrament
Our little church
Our hospitality
Our reaching out to others
Doing things together
Recreation
Exercise
Our in-laws
Our health
Our eating and dieting
Our relationship with God
Resource Material
PRESENTATION & HOSTING LIST

FOR CIRCULATION
MONTH
PRESENTORS
HOST
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
MARCH
APRIL
MAY
JUNE
JULY
AUGUST
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
Resource Material
RULES FOR SHARING

Sharing is a gift of myself.who I am, how I feel, my attitudes, my joys, my hopes and my
present struggles. I often feel a sense of risk as I share. To share is a decision to love, with
confidence in those who love and care about us and want us to grow. It is a time to speak from
the heart and to listen from the heart. To listen deeply to the sharing of others, I have to turn off
my competitive urge and the urge to heal that may arise in me. It is very important in sharing
not to interrupt, comment on and not react to someones sharing.
Sharing is not a time to teach, to share about others, to judge or even help anyone else. Often I
want to say, Oh, you shouldnt feel that way, or Youll feel better when you get over your
poor self image. No matter how loving these statements seem, they are rejections and can turn
off someone elses sharing.
Others may really struggle to say what is in their heart. I have to be kind enough not to stifle
them with loving interruptions or joking comments. Sharing their struggles is as much a gift to
the circle as the excitement, exhilaration and joy they share with us at other times.
The sharing of others can help us to recognize our own feelings and attitudes, if we listen and
not prepare our own sharing. Sharing witnesses our solidarity, opens us to one another and
strengthens us as a community.
OR
Open sharing is voluntary.
Everything shared at circle is confidential
Please dont comment on someone elses sharing.
Stick to the sharing question.
Share for yourself with I or me messages.
Please dont interrupt or finish someones sentence.
Please dont offer solutions. This is a time for listening & understanding not fixing.
Avoid saying I agree or disagree. Please dont judge a sharing.
Avoid witty remarks or comments in an attempt to ease the situation or change the subject.
Such comments can discourage the person from sharing again.
Avoid preaching, using you should or you cant statements.
Try not to be uncomfortable with periods of silence. Some personality styles need time to
process or formulate what they want to share.
Be brief if you tend to talk a lot.
Make an effort to share if you are the silent type remember others are enriched or
challenged by our sharing. Listen without your motor running, with an open heart. We all
want to be listened to.
Resource Material
SAMPLE CIRCLE WELCOME LETTER

Date
Dear John & Jane,
Welcome to Worldwide Marriage Encounter! Were _____________, Circle Leaders for the
__________ Circle in the ____________ local community.
Now that youve made a WWME weekend, you may be wondering, What next? Well, there
is something after the weekend and its very important.
You know when a fireplace has one log burning it is very hard to keep it going. But add two or
three together, and you get a warm, cozy fire. It is the same with the Marriage Encounter. The
weekend was great, but if you leave it at that, the fire can soon go out. If you want to keep that
special warmth from your weekend, you will need to be with others that share the experience of
the weekend. Thats what our Community and Circle is all about.
In the next few weeks you will receive a notice announcing the next Circle Meeting. These
monthly meetings are small, informal groups of couples/priests from our area who have made a
weekend. The format is typically an opening prayer, a short 10 15 minute presentation, 10/10
dialogue, optional open sharing, community news (business). There are refreshments and time
for socializing after the meeting closes, which is usually between 9:30 10:00 PM.
Please join us. Our circle will be incomplete without you. Be sure to bring your dialogue
notebooks and a snack to share. Dress is very casual we want everyone to be able to relax.
None of us is perfect. We struggle from time to time in our relationship and have lapses in our
dialogue. We attend Circle because it reminds us of what is important keeping us focused on
our relationship and Gods plan in our lives.
Since our weekend weve found Community and Circle to be a very rewarding and challenging
experience. Wed like to share that with you. In the meantime, if you should have any
questions, please feel free to call us at _________.
We are eagerly looking forward to seeing you again soon and getting to know you!!
Resource Material
CIRCLE RESOURCES
Presentation Outlines and other information for Circles:

erl.wwme.org/cp/Circles/
Best Practices to Improve transitioning couple to Community:
erl.wwme.org/cp/Areas/CP4151.pdf
Is your Circle a Stellar WWME Community? Find nomination guidelines at:
erl.wwme.org/cp/Areas/CP4102.pdf
Dialogue Questions : erl.wwme.org/cp/Dialogue/
WWME Merchandise : www.wwme.org/already.html
Contact Information and to find a Weekend: www.wwme.org/already.html
World Marriage Day Resources:
World Priest Day Resources:
wmd.wwme.org
wpd.wwme.org
Other WWME Community Ideas:

Family Picnic
Family Weekend Campout
Family Beach Bonfire/Marshmallow Roast
Family Christmas Party
World Marriage Day Dance/Auction
Enrichments/Retreats
Social Events/Gatherings (e.g. Game Night, etc.)
Be creative build a fun-loving family oriented community through:

Relationship
Dialogue
Resource Material
Sharing in the dream of something larger than yourself with couples and families
that share our values
Prayer
Consider using a social interaction website such as Facebook to stay in frequent
touch with everyone in the community
Appendix
ILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER YOU
Theres a new world somewhere, they call the promised land.
And Ill be there someday, if you will hold my hand.
I still need you there beside me, no matter what I do
For I know Ill never find another you.
There is always someone for each of us, they say.
And youll be my someone, forever and a day.
I could search the whole world over until my life is through
And I know Ill never find another you.
Its a long, long journey so stay by my side.
If I walk through a storm
Youll be my guide, be my guide.
If they gave me a fortune my treasure would be small.
I could lose it all tomorrow and never mind at all:
But if I should lose your love, dear, I dont know what Id do
For I know Ill never find another you.
Its a long, long journey so stay by our side.
If we walk through a storm
Youll be our guides, be our guides.
If they gave us a fortune our treasure would be small.
We could lose it all tomorrow and never mind at all:
But if we should lose your love, dears, we dont know what wed do
For we know well never find another yall.
Resource Material
WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER

VISION:
Love one another as I have loved you.
MISSION STATEMENT:
WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTERS mission of renewal in the
Church and change in the world is to assist couples and priests to live fully
intimate and responsible relationships by providing them with a Catholic
experience and ongoing community support for such a lifestyle.
Seoul January, 1995

Adopted by the U. S. Secretariat January, 1996 Dallas, Texas
Resource Material
Resource Material
Worldwide Marriage Encounter

Circle Leaders Commissioning
Sacred Scripture repeatedly used Marriage to reveal how God envisions

His relationship to His people.
No other facet of human experience so aptly describes the passionate and unreserved
quality of Gods love for us than the relationship of Husband and Wife.
Nothing better images His understanding, compassion and readiness to forgive.
No other comparison serves as well to communicate the creative
and hope-filled aspects of Gods love for the church.
That is why we come before The Father, from whom every family in heaven and on
earth takes its name, and we pray that He will bestow on you,
__________ __________
gifts in keeping with His riches and glory.
You have been called, and you have accepted leadership of
_____________ Circle.
May God strengthen you inwardly through the workings of His Spirit.
We ask Him to bless you marriage and your commitment to Him,
to each other, and to the church.
May Christ dwell in your hearts through faith and may charity
be the root and foundation of your life.
AMEN
LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS I HAVE LOVED YOU

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CIRCLE LEADERS HANDBOOK

U S SECRETARIAT COMMUNITY PILLAR

_______________ COMMUNITY _____________ DIOCESE

U S Secretariat Community Pillar