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MODERNFAMI LI ES

MarriageEqualityGrows,andSo
DoesClassDivide
ByCLAIRECAINMILLERandQUOCTRUNGBUIFEB.27,2016

TheDonDrapersoftheworldusedtomarrytheirsecretaries.Nowthey
marryfellowexecutives,whocouldverywellearnmorethantheydo.
Withmoremarriagesofequals,reflectingdeepchangesinAmerican
familiesandsocietyatlarge,thecountryisbecomingmoresegregatedby
class.
Itsthisnotionofthisgrowingequalitybetweenhusbandsandwives
havingthisparadoxicaleffectofgrowinginequalityacrosshouseholds,
saidChristineSchwartz,asociologistwhostudiesthetopicatthe
UniversityofWisconsinMadison.
FromCinderellatoKateMiddleton,fictionalandreallifefairytales
havetoldofwomenmarryingup.Butithasbeenalongtimesincewomen
saidtheywenttocollegetoearnaMrs.degree.Inmorerecentcultural
touchstoneslikeTheIntern,withAnneHathaway,andOpening
Belle,thenovelandsoontobeReeseWitherspoonmoviethe

protagonistsarehighlysuccessfulwomenwithhusbandswhodontwork.
(Spoileralert:Conflictensues.)
Thesechangeshavebeendrivenbywomensincreasingeducationand
laborforceparticipation,newgenderroles,andtheriseofwhatsocial
scientistscallassortativemating.
Assortativematingistheideathatpeoplemarrypeoplelike
themselves,withsimilareducationandearningspotentialandthevalues
andlifestylethatcomewiththem.Itwascommonintheearly20thcentury,
dippedinthemiddleofthecenturyandhassharplyriseninrecentyears
apatternthatroughlymirrorsincomeinequalityintheUnitedStates,
accordingtoresearchbyRobertMare,asociologistattheUniversityof
California,LosAngeles.Peoplearenowmorelikelytomarrypeoplewith
similareducationalattainmentevenaftercontrollingfordifferences
betweenmenandwomen,likethefactthatwomenwereoncelesslikelyto
attendcollege.
Eventhoughthetypicalhusbandstillmakesmorethanhiswife,the
maritalpaygapamongoppositesexcoupleshasshrunksignificantlyinthe
decadessincewomenstartedenteringtheworkforceenmasse.Today,
wivesoverallmake78percentofwhattheirhusbandsmake,accordingto
anUpshotanalysisofannualsurveydatafromtheCensusBureau.Thats
upfrom52percentin1970.
Inoppositesexmarriagesinwhichbothspousesworksomeamountof
time,29percentofwivesearnmorethantheirhusbandsdo,upfrom23
percentinthe1990sand18percentinthe1980s,accordingtotheBureau
ofLaborStatistics.
Themarriagepaygapvariesbyeducation,professionandclass.
Husbandswhoaredentistshavethegreatestpaydifferencewiththeir
workingwives,whoearn47centsforeverydollartheirhusbandsearn.
Generally,couplesinwhichmenhavehighearning,whitecollarjobshave
thelargestmaritalpaygap,whilemeninservicejobslikebartendingand
childcareearnlessthantheirwives.

Thesedifferenceshavetodowiththenatureofthejobs.Hourly
workershaveasmallergenderpaygapingeneral.Highpayingjobs
generallyhavetheleastflexibilityandthelongesthourswhichmeans
someonehastopickuptheslackathome,andfamiliescanaffordforone
spousetoworkless.
Themaritalpaygapstillexistsinpartbecausewomenearnlessthan
menintheeconomyasawhole,making79centsforamansdollar.
Itreflectsthestickinessofgenderrolesatworkandathome:Marriage
significantlydepresseswomensearnings,andthearrivalofchildrenhasan
evenstrongereffect.Men,meanwhile,tendtoearnmoreafterhaving
children,andstudiesshowthatsbecauseemployersseemothersasless
committedtoworkandfathersasdoublycommittedtobreadwinning.
Thenatureofmarriageitselfischanging.Itusedtobeaboutthe
divisionoflabor:Mensoughthomemakers,andwomensought
breadwinners.Butaswomensroleschanged,marriagebecamemoreabout
companionship,accordingtoresearchbytwoUniversityofMichigan
economists,BetseyStevensonandJustinWolfers(whoalsocontributesto
TheUpshot).Now,peoplemarryotherstheyenjoyspendingtimewith,and
thattendstobepeoplelikethemselves.
Husbandsandwiveshaddifferentrolesindifferentspheres,sothat
wastheoppositesattractviewofmarriage,Mr.Wolferssaid.Todayyou
wantpeoplewithsharedpassions,similarintereststoyou,similarcareer
goals,similargoalsforthekids.
Anotherreasonpeoplearefindingmateslikethemselvesisthatthey
aremarryinglater,sotheyknowmoreabouttheirpartnersprospectsand
increasinglymeetatwork.Peoplewereleastlikelytomarrythosewith
similareducationalbackgroundsaroundthe1950s,accordingtoMr.Mares
research,whenpeoplemarriedveryyoung.Americansareincreasinglyable
tomaketheirownromanticchoicesbasedonpersonalpreferences,free
fromfamilyorreligiousexpectations,hefound.

Americansocietyhasalsobecomemoresegregatedgeographically
peopletendtolivenearotherswithsimilareducationsandearnings.
Researchershavelinkedtheincreaseinsocalledpowercouples,inwhich
bothpartnershaveacollegedegree,tothefactthateducatedpeopleare
morelikelynowtoliveinbigcitiessothepeopletheydatetendtobe
educated,too.
Technologycouldalsoplayarole:Datingappsandsitesletpeople
filtertheirpotentialpartnersbeforetheyevenhaveaconversation.
Thechangeishappeninginternationally,too.In40percentofcouples
inwhichbothpartnerswork,theybelongtothesameorneighboring
incomebracket,upfrom33percenttwodecadesago,accordingto2011
datafromtheOrganizationforEconomicCooperationandDevelopment,
whichincludes34countries.Twothirdshavethesamelevelofeducation.
Despitebeingmorecommon,thesemarriagesareabreakfrom
tradition,andthatcanpresentproblems.
Marriagesinwhichthewomanearnsmorearelesslikelytoforminthe
firstplace,whichaccountsfor23percentoftheoveralldeclineinmarriage
ratessince1970,accordingtoalargestudybytheeconomistsMarianne
BertrandandEmirKamenicaoftheUniversityofChicagoandJessicaPan
oftheNationalUniversityofSingapore.Usingcensusdatafrom1970to
2000,theyanalyzedthechoicespeoplemadeinsocalledmarriage
markets,basedonage,education,raceandwheretheylived.
Whensuchmarriagesdoform,thewomenbecomemorelikelytoseek
jobsbeneaththeirpotentialortostopworkingentirely,andthemarriages
aremorelikelytoendindivorce.Paradoxically,wiveswhoearnmorealso
dosignificantlymorehouseworkandchildcarethantheirhusbandsdo,
perhapstomaketheirhusbandsfeellessthreatened,theeconomistssaid.
BillDoherty,amarriagetherapistandprofessorattheUniversityof
Minnesota,saidhehadseenwomenwhoweremoreprofessionally
successfulthantheirhusbandscompensatebybuildinguptheirhusbands

careersandplayingdowntheirown.
Itskindoflikeifhesshorterthansheis,shedoesntwearheels,he
said.ItsintheculturalDNAthatifanyoneshouldbebigger,richer,more
successful,itshouldbetheman.
Whenthesecouplesstruggle,itisoftenoverissueslikesexualdesireor
thedivisionofhouseworkandchildcare,Dr.Dohertysaid,particularlyif
thewomanlosesrespectforthemanandthemanfeelsinsecureabouthis
roleinthefamily.
Yetthatdynamicseemstobechanging,heandotherresearcherssaid,
becauseyoungpeoplehavemoreegalitarianviewsaboutmarriageandthe
divisionoflabor.
AlenaTaylor,28,amanagementconsultant,earns40percentmore
thanherhusband,Matt,31,anonprofitexecutive.Ithasfeltlikea
nonissue,Mr.Taylorsaid.
Theysaidtheyknewthatconflictcouldariseovertheirdivisionof
laborwhentheyhavechildren,includingbecauseshetravelsmoreandhe
hasgreaterflexibility.Becausemyearningspotentialismuchhigherthan
his,overtimewellhavetofigurethatout,shesaid.
Researcherssaytheriseinassortativematingiscloselylinkedto
incomeinequality.Thetwohaveincreasedintandem,Dr.Schwartz,the
sociologistfromtheUniversityofWisconsin,said:Peoplewhoaremarried
tendtobemoreadvantaged,andontopofthat,moreadvantagedpeople
aremarryingpeoplelikethemselves,sothosepeopletendtobedoubly
advantaged.
Theeffectscouldbecomemorepronouncedinfuturegenerations.
Studiestellusthatparentsincomeandeducationhaveanenormouseffect
onchildrensopportunitiesandachievementsandchildrentodayare
morelikelytogrowupinhomesinwhichparentsaremoresimilarthan
different.

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AversionofthisarticleappearsinprintonFebruary28,2016,onpageA1oftheNewYork
editionwiththeheadline:RiseinMarriagesofEqualsHelpsFuelDivisionsbyClass.

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