ED971031Issue 918.
qxd 07/05/98 14:58
Issue 918 - Weekly
What made them
see eye to eye?
Nick St.Aubyn,, Conservative MP for Guildford (above)
And does anybody care?
Empty chairs at Monday’s Tuition Fees meeting
News 1 n Features 3
Cinema and Arts 8 n Union News 9
Page 1 (1,1)
Friday 31st October 1997
Matt Pannell
Editor
he Conservative MP for Guildford and
T the President of the National Union of
Students spoke out together on Monday
night against the Government’s proposed uni-
versity tuition fees, at a public meeting held in
the University Hall.
For years, the two organisations have
been in dispute over funding for Higher
Education, yet the two men turned out to have
plenty of common ground in opposing the cur-
rent plans. Nick St Aubyn, who has represent-
ed Guildford since the general election in May,
said that the funding crisis in higher education
“will get even worse....we can’t carry on like
that.” Douglas Trainer, President of the
National Union of Students attacked the
Conservatives for having caused the cash
shortage in the first place, but had some fierce
criticism for the Labour Party, too, branding
the Government “dead stupid” for introducing
the proposals. Asked what realistic chance he
stood of getting the proposals overturned by
lobbying MP’s, he admitted that “our ability to
get a revolt with a government majority of 170
is very limited.”
Douglas Trainer , NUS President,
Other speakers included a repreenta-
tive from the local Liberal Democrat Party,
John Vincent, who in turn claimed that his
Meningitis hits
party, too, was “100 % united against the
imposition of fees.” He said that the new
scheme “will discourage students from taking
up courses all around the country....Another
aspect that I find particularly disagreeable is
Southampton
that a lot of New Labour MP’s are graduates
themselves, and in doing this, they are turning
their tales on the next generation.”
University halls
niversity chiefs and Government health advisers were on
The organisers of the meeting, which
was supposed to have ‘brought together any
members of the local community affected by
fees’, were disappointed at the very low
U Tuesday trying to cope with an outbreak of meningitis in
a Southampton University residence complex.
Antibiotics and vaccinations are being given to students in the
turnout. Less than twenty people turned up to Wessex Lane Halls, following a fourth suspected case of the
hear the speakers, leaving rows of seats potentially fatal disease. The Health Education Authority has
unfilled (left). begun an advertising campaign in response to the outbreak,
whilst stressing that instances have so far been confined to a rel-
Dearing Special, Features Page 3.... atively small area.
n Letters 4 n Music 6 n Entertainments Guide 7 .
n Notices & Personals 9 n Sports 11 .
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:58 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Friday 31st October 1997 n

Driving Re-Tests Van Gogh A Fake!

ualified dri- max. permitted in

Q vers could
be made to
Tania Rocks

retake their driving tests every 10 and Greece.

France, the
Netherlands, Austria I
n 1987 a Japanese firm bought
Vincent Van Gogh’s famous
depiction of sunflowers for
£24.75 million from Christie’s auc-
Tania Rocks
sions, one with three flowers, one
with five and two with twelve. The
limited to faking Van Gogh’s, he
may have also faked Gauguins and
Cezannes. If this is so, the prices of
so called masterpieces may be
years, if new EC regulations come Ministers in this country appear to tion. The painting was supposedly greatly affected. Fakes do achieve
version with 14 sunflowers was
into force. Anyone who fails the be against the scheme, saying that it painted by Van Gogh in 1888, just a respectable prices (around
never mentioned in his letters,
test would loose their licence. should be left to the courts to deal few years before his death in 1890. £45,000), but neither the Seiji Togo
although all seven paintings are
Members of the European with dangerous drivers. The AA is In a television documentary, art Yasyda Kasai Museum of Art or the
attributed to him. The piece itself is
Parliament believe that retaking also against the plans as it says that writer Geraldine Norman stated that Japanese insurance company which
a masterpiece, and has fooled
tests would reduce the number of it does not address the people who she believed that an obscure purchased the painting have much
experts for a long time, having been
road accidents. 45,000 people are cause the majority of accidents, the Parisian art teacher, Claude-Emile to say on this matter.
exhibited from 1901. It is thought
killed on Europe’s roads every year young drivers. Drivers who notch Schuffenecker, was the artist behind It seems ironic that Van Gogh, the
that Schuffenecker may have got
and MEPs argue that this scheme up 6 penalty points in 2 years of this version of the sunflowers. Ms troubled painter, who was not able
his inspiration from restoring Van
would mean that drivers would have gaining a full driving licence face a Norman is certain that the art to sell his painting during his life,
Gogh’s original version, which now
to correct bad and sometimes dan- re-test due to recent changes in teacher painted one of three which had his work forged so soon after
hangs in the National Gallery,
gerous driving habits. This scheme British law. It should also be noted depict 14 sunflowers. Van Gogh in his death, and that it went for such
London.
is in connection with plans to that despite the AA concerns about his letters wrote about three ver- an unbelievable sum.
Schuffenecker may not have been
reduce the drink-drive limit to a young drivers, Britain has the low-

Rag Week Beer

new EU- wide limit of 50mg per est road accident death rate in the
100ml, meaning that you can only EU, the roads are 7 times safer that
safely have a pint of beer or two in Greece (which has the worst
glasses of wine. This is already the record).

Silly Spot
T
he Silly Night Merry
Pranksters want you all to
know that Wednesday Week
9 November 5th is
FIRESTARTER NIGHT. The
President has also asked me to tell
you all that this does not mean you
can set fire to the building, any part
of it or any people in it - as if!
SILLY FIRESTARTER NIGHT,
7pm - 11pm, double and mixer £1
if, and only if, you bring a firework.
All fireworks, conforming to EC
standard Prodigy 2.43D (i.e. not
some shoddy stuff you made in
your room or picked up off the back
of a lorry), will be handed in at the
front door and checked by the Fire
Safety Officer. In exchange, you
will receive a FIRESTARTER card
which will entitle you to doubles
for £1 all night and all fireworks
will be kept for the grand
FIRESTARTER FIREWORK DIS-
PLAY by the lake, with jacket pota-
toes, coleslaw, and various other
nibbly bits.RAG Sparklers will be
available.The more people who
bring fireworks the better the dis-
play. And your name(s) will be
announced before your firework
goes up so remember your pride is
at stake.
Dress like a firework, dress like the
Prodigy, come as a door (think
about it). whatever you wear,
remember remember the 5th of
November and bring some fire-
works.
A note from the attorney at law:
Take care. This is the first event of
its kind to take place here, and if
anyone puts himself or others at
risk through careless use of fire-
works, it will be the last. Fireworks
should only be carried in their orig-
inal boxes, and in any case will will
only be accepted if safely packaged.
From: The Fool
Drinking
Competition
Wendy Bowater
(Rag Chair)
ll those who came along to
A this event know what a
good time everyone had,
witnessing the records being bro-
ken.
Fastest blokes pint was Rob at an
astounding 2.2 seconds, beating the
record set last year of 2.6 secs.
Fastest birds pint was Bernie at 5.8
seconds, beating the record set last
year of 2.6 secs.
Fastest 2 pints was Rob.H. taking
7.2 seconds, not quite matching the
time he set last year of 6.53 secs.
Fastest stout was taken by Andy,
taking 2.6 seconds, again breaking
the record set from last year of 3.2
secs.
Mech Eng. deigned us with their
presence and beat both the rugby
and football boat race teams, com-
ing through with a time of 30.6 sec-
onds to down 8 pints one after the
other. It never looked so easy as The Austin Pearce Building as decorated fpr RAG
they beat the time set last year by For those of you who saw the most I would personally like to thank
the rugby club (33.6 secs). disgusting and erotic pint, it is Dickon for being excellent as a
The female rugby team did not let something you wont forget for a compare; the Rag Committee and
the side down however, by winning long time. Volunteers for timing, writing
the fastest female boat race with a Erotic pint saw a bloke strip off to scores on boards and handling the
time of 1minute 23 seconds. pour a pint down his chest for some beer; Jez and Dwain for making the
The fastest wibbly-wobbly was brave woman to catch it from under- beer shower; to Crew; and to every-
Jason, taking 20 seconds to spin neath his genitalia! one who took part.
around a mop handle 10 times, then Disgusting pint (performed by the Oh, and cheers for the gunge guys,
running to the table and downing his OLD Rag Chair and Vice-Chair)was I’m sure I’ll never forget that. What
beer. similar, but instead of pouring the a storming night!
The awesome beer shower made its beer down the chest, it was poured
return, holding five pints of beer to down his back, for the other one to
be forced (through gravity alone) drink it from underneath!! The
down the contenders throat. Tom groans were heard for miles!
returned to better his time of last An event not to be forgotten, espe-
year (which was astonishingly 14.9 cially considering the cattle market
secs) and he succeeded! He com- success half way through (I’m sure
pleted the challenge in 14 seconds. the slaves wont forget it for a
Will this man not be matched? while!)
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:58
n Friday 31st October 1997
FEES WEEK: THE DEARING PAGE
A special feature prepared for Bare Facts by Samantha Birmingham, Andy Gale,
Sophie Rocks, Alex Cass, and Rob Dorey
Should industry share the financial burden for
higher education?
Some of the fastest growing
“ and most successful companies
today are those which depend
not on plant and machinery but on
intellectual capital. If this country is
to remain internationally competi-
tive in the 21st century, we need to
invest in our people, mirroring the
investment in fixed capital and
equipment of the past.” (DfEE
Website).
The Nuts and
Bolts
1. TUITION FEES
For all UK and EU students starting
full-time higher education from
Autumn 1998, the student, or the
student’s family, will be required to
pay the University up to £1,000 a
year towards the cost of their
tuition. This payment will be means
tested. Loans or grants will not be
available from the Government to
pay for the tuition fee contribution.
Tuition fees are payable in respect
of all years of ‘sandwich’ courses,
including periods spent on profes-
sional training. The fees are again
means tested, and the maximum
contribution for most students on a
professional training year will be
£500.
Think about it: food for thought
his years first year under-
T graduates are the last Higher
Education students ever to be
in receipt of a free education. In
future academic years, students will
face a fee of £1000 per academic
year to cover tuition and loans of
approximately £3000 per year to
assist with living costs. You may
not be too troubled by these propos-
als, you may think they are entirely
reasonable, after all the individual
student is the greatest beneficiary of
their education, but think about it;
How are you going to stop the
tuition fee levy from rising in the
future? Whilst the fee does not
cover the entire cost of tuition at
present there are no safeguards to
prevent future Governments pass-
ing measures to ensure that stu-
dents bear the full cost of their
tuition fees. Secondly, is the sys-
tem of means testing parents for
Page 3 (1,1)
These comments by David
Blunkett, Secretary of State for
Education and Employment lead to
one very important question and
that is why British Industry has not
been asked to contribute to the
improvement of the UK system of
Higher Education when, by
Blunkett’s own admission, it gains
so much from it. What is doubly
perplexing is the fact that many of
2. LIVING COSTS
The intention behind the
Governments scheme is that we
move from the current mix of loans
and means tested LEA maintenance
grants to a loans-only system where
the level of loan available will be
income-related.
To soften the blow for next years’
entrants (1998/99) the Government
intends a transitional arrangement
(a smaller, means-tested mainte-
nance grant, and a bigger loan for
all who want it) for that academic
year only. From 1999/2000, stu-
dents will be expected to be self
financed by means tested student
loans, and a maintenance grant will
not be available.
the tuition fee fair? If it is students
that you wish to see facing greater
costs for their education then there
is no sense in means testing their
parents. Agree with this statement
and it leads to a question about
why it was that Dearing did not
choose to recommend a graduate
tax. With a graduate tax students
are all hit equally hard and there’s
no way that more affluent students
can get out of it by having daddy
pull out his cheque book. You
never know you could also ask
those who have already had a
University education to contribute
to it as well. That way good old
Tony Blair can’t be accused of
pulling the ladder up after him.
Think about it and join us on
Saturday November 1st in
Southampton to protest against the
Governments proposals. Be there,
or pay later!
the companies Blunkett refers to
actually sit on University Governing
bodies persons and others, such as
Dr Keith Taylor the Chairman and
Chief Executive of ESSO UK plc,
are members of the Higher
Education Funding Council for
England (HEFCE).
Our own University has named its
new building after an industrial
leader (Sir Austin Pearce) and,
Learning From Australia -
Do Tuition Fees Really Affect Participation?
ustralian student application
A numbers have decreased by
30% since the introduction
of increased Higher Education fees
this year.
In 1989 in response to the rapid
expansion of student numbers and
the decrease in the amount of fund-
ing per student, the Australian
Government introduced its Higher
Education Contribution Scheme
(HECS). This required students to
contribute to the cost of their Higher
Education at a flat rate levy of
around 23% of average tuition costs
with students having contribution
payments deferred until they
reached earnings of the annual aver-
age income or above. Money col-
lected went to the Higher Education
System. With the principle of free
If You Think It’s Too Early To Save, Think Again!
Assembly Point: Main Entrance to New College in Southampton (A33) @ 12.45pm.
Rally Begins at 2.30 p.m. in Hoglands Park.
Two coaches will be transporting University of Surrey students to the event. We will be picking students up from
Hazel Farm at 10.30am and from Senate House at 11am. Please arrive early to ensure as seat as they will be given
out on a first come first served basis.
Our agony uncle, Uncle
Tony, answers your con-
cerns about being a stu-
dent.......
ear Uncle Tony, You say
D that because I will be earn-
ing a higher salary when I
get my degree, I should stop spong-
ing off the tax payer and pay my
own way. If this is so, why is it all
means-tested on what my parents
earn now?
Yours, Disgruntled Dan from
Dorking
given the influence that industry
must exert on Higher Education as a
consequence of its involvement’s, it
seems more than unfair that a part-
nership approach to funding has not
been adopted. Industry affects the
content of University courses, it all
but dictates the skills which we
develop as a consequence of our
time here, why then are students
alone being called upon to shoulder
education demolished, the flat rate
tuition fee was replaced by three
bands of levy corresponding to the
students’ degree course in January
1997. The NCIHE report records
these levys as Arts and Humanities
fees (including Education and
Nursing) which increased by 35%;
Maths, Sciences, Engineering and
Economics which increased by
92%; and the Clinical and Law
options (including Dentistry and
Veterinary Science) which
increased by 125%. These increases
have led to the current costs (as of
26th October) being $3300, $4700,
and $5500 respectively. These
charges brought a fall in applica-
tions of 30% in applications.
Yet, the Australian Government did
not completely abolish means-test-
Tell Uncle Tony......
Uncle Tony says: Look, it’s simple.
In this New Britain of ours, every-
one loves each other, and the bond
between parent and child grows
ever stronger (though not as strong
as we would like, because we are
still working to the previous govern-
ment’s figures on this matter). The
end result is that when, like me, you
are earning so much that you will
have to refuse your next pay rise,
you will be able to chuck a couple
of quid your mum & dad’s way. And
I’m sure they’d love it if you could
pop round every now and then for a
cup of tea and a garibaldi.
Features 3
an increased financial burden. One
thing seems clear and that is that the
weakest bargaining group has been
given the heaviest financial burden
to shoulder and with this the over-
riding priority of the Dearing
Report, to widen participation may
soon be undermined.
ed maintenance grants when it intro-
duced tuition fees, unlike Labour’s
proposals for Britain. But the eligi-
bility requirements for financial
assistance have been tightened with
the changes to the tuition fees. Not
only do researchers predict that
these recent changes have “left
something of a financial black hole
for young people aspiring to attend
University who do not come from
well-off families”, but Federal
Education Department figures indi-
cate that , since the introduction of
tuition fees in 1989 there has only
been a 0.1% increase of the number
of students entering Universities
from the lowest social economic
category.
So, can Britain learn from these
changes?
Dear Uncle Tony,
And another thing, if I’m earning
more, won’t I be paying more tax
anyway?
Yours, Disgruntled Dan from
Dorking (again)
Uncle Tony says: Don’t get clever
with me, sunshine. There’s no place
for clever people in New Britain.
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:58 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Letters/Editorial Friday 31st October 1997 n

Letters
Student Initiatives Pizzas: The final word reply to the suggestion that only etc.etc. The point which we feel we

Officer
Dear Editor,
In reply to Simon Rose’s Big
The University Educational Liaison Centre is seeking applicants for the whinge, we, as happy members of
above post. If you would like to gain: the Pizza + workforce, feel the
need to bitch back! Firstly, what
-An ability to help students develop their skills gives him the right to make such a
-Managerial, PR, and Marketing Experience gross assumption as to say that the
-The chance to deal with Industry, Business, Students’ Unions, and Large staff are demoralised? Secondly,
-Organisations across the country since all the staff, with the excep-
-Responsibility from day one...... tion of the very patient supervisor
-Then this could be the job for you! Alvin, are themselves students, we
find it hard to believe that students
For more information contact Mrs Maggie Melhuish, Personnel Office, are ‘hated’ at Pizza +. Thirdly, in
7th Floor, Senate House. Ext: 9370. Closing date: 7th November
one person ‘sings the praises’ of
Pizza +, if this is the case why is it
that we have so many regular cus-
tomers? In response to the sugges-
tion that students take responsibili-
ty for the running of Pizza +, this
has in the past been attempted,
resulting in it becoming unhygenic,
inconsistent, apathetic and unpro-
fessional as well as it losing
money. At least now a substantial
profit is made which is used to
benefit the students by subsidising
clubs, ents and the minibuses
which run from the night-clubs
must emphasise most strongly is
that the customers are treated with
the respect which they deserve.
What else is to be expected of staff
when the place is full of drunk,
inpatient, insulting idiots who treat
staff with no respect at all. We too
are students and do not work at
Pizza + in order to be treated as
verbal punching bags. Finally, if
you are dissatisfied with the ser-
vice, you do have the option of
withdrawing your custom.
Name and address supplied.

But What DO Dancers Do.......

kay, in this short space I classes, rehearsals and fitness train- all the issues it raises. Well, we read and not, as some like to think, next

O intend to put the record

straight. Your university has
a dance department, (one of the
most eminent in Europe no less) and
this is what we do. But perhaps we
should go into what we don’t do...
Misconception number
One;
“So, you just dance around
in leotards all day then?”
...No. We do not dance around all
day. And the image of lycra, tights,
flesh (lots of flesh) and high kicks is
truly a false one (sorry lads).
Practical dance lessons take up
around 50% of our timetable, which
is quite a hefty one. What with extra
ing, we are a busy bunch! For all
the people at FNO who have doubt-
ed our skill-we are proberbly too
knackered!
Because the course has a strong
emphasis on culture (it is in fact BA
(hons) Dance and Culture), we have
the option to study four techniques;
contemporary, ballet, african and
kathak, a classical indian form. We
are the first department in dance to
offer such a culturally diverse pro-
gramme, which also extends into
our theoretical study of social dance
forms, which does include what we
all do on a Friday Night Out.....
Misconception Number
Two;
“But you don’t write
Anita Ewing
essays, do you?”
...By the time dancers get to the
final years, this question becomes
rare-that is because you never see us
to ask because we are locked away
writing those essays. Of course we
write essays, this is an academic
course in an academic university.
Our subjects range from dance his-
tory and criticism, notation (have a
look at Labanwriter on the Macs)
arts policies, and teaching strate-
gies. On the way, we look at gender
issues, language, politics, sociology
(yep, we know all about Foucault)
semiology, anthropology, technolo-
gy, because what we deal with here
is the body and all that it means.
Imagine reading Shakespeare, and
the body, and that raises a lot of
issues too.
So now I’m getting carried away.
to Planet Zog or whatever. The
department does have showings of
student/professional work. SO
Which is quite a good plus-we WHERE ARE YOU ALL? Come
dancers enjoy what we do. In the and see our work. Come and dance
final year, choroegraphy forms a big in our pieces. We get a bigger audi-
chunk of the degree for those who ence to really show our stuff to. You
opt it. Far from simply making up get to see what we wear, how we
pretty dances (although they do look dance, and what us dancers ‘really”
nice) the whole process is about do Watch this space.............
organiastion, problem solv-
ing, leading, following
through ideas. And we get to
experience all these employ-
er friendly assets in our
tracky bums, in a studio, by
leading figures in the dance
world.
The dance world I speak of
is, in fact, part of this one
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:58 Page 5 (1,1)

n Friday 31st October 1997 Features /Features 5

Come a Little Bit Closer

Closer - Lyttleton Theatre, South Bank, London.
Antonia Bayliss
loser originally played in

C the Cottesloe Theatre but

has transferred to the
Lyttleton Theatre until mid
November. The play was written
in 1995 by Patrick Mauber specifi-
cally for the National Theatre.
The story follows the love lives of
four Londoners who meet in quite
unusual circumstances. The four
characters interact with each other
in a very unreserved way both face
to face and in a very impressive
dialogue conducted over the inter-
net - this was probably the high-
light of the play. The complex
nature of the characters was por-
trayed well but the excessive use of
sexual references obscured the
intricacies of the relationships the
characters undertook.
The props used in the play were
very minimal but were well chosen
because they immediately suggest-
ed the location. This was enhanced
by the ambient sounds which creat-
ed the background hum of London
well.
Overall I enjoyed watching Closer
but I would be cautious about rec-
ommending it. The blatant style of
the script could offend the English
reserve.
The cast of the play are Sally
Dexter, Neil Dudgeon, Mark
Strong and Liza Walker
Season runs until 12 November
1997, student standby tickets are
Phot: Hugh Glendinning
available on the day for £7.00.

A Life Less Ordinary (15)

Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor, Holly Hunter
ow do you follow up the The story line bounces to and fro

H pitch black humour scat-

tered throughout Shallow
Grave and Trainspotting - two of the
best films (note the absence of the
word British) of the past three
years? With an upbeat, light-hearted
comedy, that’s how. Take the star of
your mega hits, transport him to the
States, introduce a sex siren and let
nature take its course. This is exact-
ly what fails to happen. Holly
Hunter and Delroy Lindo are angels,
sent to earth on a do or die mission
to attempt to make spoilt society
bitch Celine Naville (Diaz) to fall in
love with lowly cleaner Robert
(McGregor).
Having lost his job, his lover and his
house in the space of one day,
Robert is understandably a bit low,
low enough to kidnap Celine, the
daughter of his rich ex-employer Mr
Naville (Ian Holm). Not having
done this before, Robert is not
Bruce Chapman
exactly the best, nor confident kid-
napper, but he does succeed...with
the help of his victim! As it turns
out, Celene hates her father even
more than Robert and has plans to
extract as much money from him as
possible.
The contempt that initially exists
between the pair slowly erodes as
the film progresses and Celine con-
stantly turns down frequent oppor-
tunities to escape, offering Robert
advice on how to best contain her.
Contempt turns to respect and
respect turns to, well I’m sure you
know the rest already.
Trainspotting this is not. Neither is
it as dark, slick or powerful as last
year’s masterpiece - this film has
‘feel good’ written all over it. This
means that it doesn’t work as well as
it could have done. You miss the fast
paced, honed to perfection dialogue.
and at points gets quite confused
with itself. There is also a pointless
all singing, all dancing scene, clear-
ly demonstrating that there is no
fear of Diaz exploring a musical
career.
That said, this is a great romantic
comedy, with the novelty that the
normal roles have been reversed.
McGregor is dappy and dare I say it,
sweet, whereas Diaz is strong, con-
fident and just oozes sex. Both work
well together, sharing obvious on-
screen chemistry. Forget the films
that proceeded this, forget the hype
surrounding it and see A Life Less
Ordinary for what it really is...and
don’t forget to watch the end cred-
its.
6/10
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:58
6 Music
SINGLES
LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO
- Inkanyezi Nezazi (A&M)
Okay, so you feel really bloody stupid
when the Heinz ad comes on and you
feel like crying, don’t you? Well now
you can own this beautiful and soul
cleansing piece of music and hear it
alone, without a baked bean in sight.
Utterly divine. 10/10 A.M.
ARMIN - Blue Fear (Xtravaganza)
This was pleasant on the ears, the now-
familiar Balearic style of house music
presented in four marvelous mixes, of
which the second ‘Extended Mix’ is
my favourite, taking you on a journey
through thumping bass-lines and
Balearic samples into the techno side
of house. 10/10 M.B.
BLACK GRAPE - Get Higher
(Radioactive)
Sizzling return for the ‘Grape, employ-
ing subtle drug references and ex-pres-
idents of the USA to add vocal texture
to a highly relaxing tune. B-sides con-
tinue in this vein to prove that Black
Grape are able to survive without the
musical marvel of Bez. 9/10 D.J.
SINGLE OF
THE WEEK
MOBY - The James Bond Theme
(Moby’s Re-version) (Mute)
This is James Bond. If you like it and
you like dance music, buy it. If you
don’t like James Bond, then this is
some very good house, so buy it. If
you like neither, buy it anyway,
because you WILL like it. Six mixes,
including mixes by CJ Bolland and
Grooverider. The mutt’s nuts! 10/10
M.B.
THE INTERPRETERS - In
Remembrance Of That Fine Evening
(Volcano)
The Interpreters sound like a warped
cross between Sex Pistols, and
Jonathan Fire*Eater, the former in
terms of their punky style and the latter
in terms of their kookiness. Just to hear
‘Dogskin Report’ proves this, where a
French spy during World War 2 shaves
a dog, to tattoo secrets on it’s body,
only to have the war end before it’s
hair grows back, warped, but cool!
8/10 D.N.
BECK - Deadweight (Geffen)
This is from the new much hyped ‘A
Life Less Ordinary’ film and it sees
Beck on top form, a kind of creepy
blues style complete with crackly per-
cussion and a delightful acoustic guitar.
Cool. 7/10 A.M.
This weeks music bought to you by - Matthew Beal, Dean Arif, Emma Clarke,
Gemma Decent, Frank Fraulo, Alastair Mooney, Denise Nicholson, Thomas Van Waes,
Ikaraam Ullah, Nick Walsh, Georgina Tarrant, Honey Butcher, James Bloomfield,
Gabriel-Oliver Chamero, Daniel Jones,Nick Walsh,Andrew Thomas, Rob Winder
Page 6 (1,1)
ASH - A Life Less Ordinary
(Infectious)
Ash have been very quiet for the past
year. Nice to know they’re out there
recording somewhere, and with a new
guitarist Charlotte Hatherley. ‘A Life
Less Ordinary’, the song of the film, is
not one of their best efforts. I personal-
ly prefer the b-side song ‘Where Is Our
Love Going’. A pretty good single, but
I’m still not too taken by it. 7/10 E.C.
THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR
LIVES - Mantra Slider (Coalition)
That band has a very original style
which can vary from a song to the
other. The whole follows a psychedelic
line drawn somewhere in-between the
Stooges and Velvet Underground.
Quiet chaotic music but it does convey
a strong feeling. 7/10 T.V.
ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN-
Don’t Let It Get You Down
(London)
This their third single to be taken from
their comeback album ‘Evergreen’. It’s
a good, radio friendly, mid paced
catchy song. It just seems that they are
a long way off from how good they
used to be and also how good they
think they are now. 7/10 N.W.
ASIAN DUB FOUNDATION -
Naxalite (Ffrr)
Jungle meets ragga in an indie
Audioweb style! ‘Naxalite’ is a song
about an uprising of landless peasants
in the 1960s in Bengal. By the end it
has crashed through all the pseudo-
political clichés of music with lyrics
including, “take the power”, and, “we
will rise again”. Musically sound but
poorly delivered lyrically. 6/10 A.T.
GOD’S BOYFRIEND - Pond (Trade 2)
The evening session will love them.
Scottish, spunky and with a splendid
name. They sound like Feeder and
Belly and the singer’s voice is divine
on the flipside acoustic-esque tracks.
Maybe not very original but the kids
can play and make a fine contribution
to the latest pool of indiekid bands.
6/10 H.B.
HIS NAME IS ALIVE - Nice Day (4AD)
This single is pretty unremarkable,
middle of the road stuff. It is music
that always seems to be in the back-
ground and not the foreground. Every
track reminds me of another song. The
last two tracks ‘Come’ and ‘Man’ are
the best because they sound more
jazzy. 6/10 G.T.
REDWOOD - Falling Down (Almo)
‘Falling Down’ is a rocked out heavy
pop song with no floating guitars and
several sniffs of late Beatles guitar riffs
that falls short in light of the fact its a
bit boring. Their live efforts are far
more riveting than this. 6/10 D.J.
BAMBINO - Little Darling... Little
Angel... Little Monkey... Little Imp
(Broken)
There is only one striking feature
recognisable in the first instance with
this CD, that a monkey with a ‘Fisher
Price’ microphone could have
improved the production. Apart from
this huge influence on how they sound,
the songs are O.K. with feminine
Bjorkish vocals over ‘Heavy Pop’ gui-
tar. 6/10 E.C.
BUSTA RHYMES - Put Your Hands
Where My Eyes Could See (Elektra)
If you were at the carnival this year
you would have seen him rock
Westwood’s and Kiss FM’s stage.
Despite what people may say, his lyrics
in this single are nowhere near explicit.
The original mix sounds cheap and
unworked. The mix featuring Kwesi
Be is, however a true piece of work.
This single is nowhere near what Busta
is capable of. 5/10 I.U.
ALBUMS
SLEATER-KINNEY - Dig Me Out
(Matador)
In the early nineties there was Riot
Grrrl. Riot Grrrl was a movement fea-
turing all girl bands who made up for
their lack of talent with lots of distor-
tion and general noise. Come forward
to 1997 and we have Sleater-Kinneys’
third album, ‘Dig Me Out’. This album
is fast (no song longer than four min-
utes!) and punky. They shout! They
scream! Actually, they are really good.
Unlike many of their contemporaries
(Veruca Salt and Hole being the most
obvious two) Sleater-Kinney continual-
ly deliver quality songs throughout the
album. With songs about destruction,
heartbreak, partying, and a million
other things Sleater-Kinney could be
the surprise success of the year. 9/10
A.T.
COMMON - Resurrection (Epic)
Something cool comes our way in the
hip-hop scene!! Common, a Chicago
based MC brings something quite dif-
ferent to the table: attitude for starters!!
“I don’t just want to show the prob-
lem” he states, “I want to offer a solu-
tion...” And while this album isn’t
exactly revolutionary, its jazzy and
soulful grooves are miles ahead of
many others... excellent. 9/10 G.C.
REGURGITATOR - Tu Plang...Kon
Uauk (Coalition)
A really rather original band, in the
form of a three piece from Brisbane
who are master crossover craftsmen.
Overall they maintain a kind of Foo
Fighters/Chili Peppers feel, but that’s
too simplistic. Loud guitars get laced
with all manner of styles which makes
them very difficult to define, other than
being yummy and far outshining many
of the homegrown punkas trying to be
this good. I refuse to call anything
alternative, due to semantic reasons
and bloodymindedness, but this may
just tempt me. Xfm listeners will be
familiar with Regurgitator and on the
strength of this we all will be by next
year. Definitely worth the time to listen
to it. 8/10 H.B.
FOREST FOR THE TREES - Forest
For The Trees (Dreamworks)
This is really something for the sane,
clever and the inspired peoples out
there. The opening track ‘dream’ puts
you in the mood....and when the album
progresses on to ‘infinite cow’ you
know your onto a winner. Behind all
the flamenco beatbox and swirling
Indian harmonic flavours there is a
more simple but serious reasoning.
Carl Stephenson toys with parallel uni-
verse theory and the fusion of pop with
environmental sensations. The album is
terrific, I won’t be putting it down for a
long while. 8/10 I.U.
Classics all, driven by raucous guitars and with Black
Francis screming his lungs out over the top. It is all so mag- bought to “hear the
nificent. Buy this album. Then go and buy all their albums. w(Hole) story”.
Enjoy life with the Pixies. 9/10 R.W.
Friday 31st October 1997 n
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
GUIDED BY VOICES
labelled best-of, and it’s amazing, when I listen to these 24 tracks, from as many
artists, all at once, what a coherent aesthetic Matador has managed to cultivate.
Examined from some angles, the
Japanese kitsch-pop band Pizzicato
Five, the esoteric Canadian duo Mecca
Normal, the seemingly immortal British
post-punk cynics The Fall and the
Scottish fuzz-pop band Teenage Fanclub
seem very different, but a pervasive
strangeness unifies them. The second
disc, with 20 previously unreleased
tracks, is there to justify your expendi-
ture should you decide to buy this won-
derful compilation. GbV’s ‘My thoughts
Are a Gas’ is jangly reassuringly whole,
Tobin Sprout’s ‘Small Parade’ is gentle
and lilting, Liz Phair’s ‘Stuck on an
Island’ is surprisingly elegant and folk-
ish. What else can I say except it’s end-
lessly, endlessly charming! 10/10 D.A.
CHUMBAWAMBA - Tubthumper (EMI)
Chumbawamba have been rocketed
into superstardom by ‘Tubthumping’ a
pub drinking anthem that had the
whole country in flames over the sum-
mer. I’ve always been a bit suspect of
albums which have the best song first,
what the rest of it like? Crap usually,
but in Chumba’s case its not true. The
whole album is a great bland of techno,
indie and whatever else wandered into
the studio that day. ‘Smalltown’ and
‘The Big Issue’ and great efforts and
confirm the great quality of the album.
8/10 F.F.
FEEDER - Polythene (Echo)
When I first heard ‘High’, I became
addicted, the soft vocals and catchy
tune made me want to hear more.
When I heard the album however I was
frankly disappointed, as although the
album is good, and in places (for
example ‘Descend’), sparkles with sim-
ilar effervescence, it is impossible to
listen to their indie/ rock meanderings
without comparing them to the single.
However not all is dismal and gloomy
as I feel that with listening to
‘Polythene’ more, it could grow on me.
8/10 D.N.
HOLE - My Body The Hand
Grenade (City Slang)
An album capturing the essence of a
rock band, from its meagre beginnings
in the basements of LA, to the present
day all out metal frenzy that is known
as Hole. The tracks are in chronologi-
cal order showing
THE PIXIES the evolution of the
- Death To group. Early songs
The Pixies tend to have heavy
guitar and vocals,
(4AD)
with later songs
Influential...
sounding like the
blah, blah,
blah... slightly more
‘Smells Like refined present day
Teen Spirit’... Hole. The album
blah.. The kicks off with
reason why ‘Turpentine’ the
The Pixies group’s first ever
are so revered recording.
Previously unre-
is because
they bothered leased, but well
to write fan- worth the wait. It
tastic songs. also includes their
There are first two singles
seventeen ‘Retard Girl’ and
here, from ‘Dicknail’, along
‘Debaser’ to with some tracks
taken from their
‘Monkey’s
1995 MTV
Gone To
Unplugged session.
Heaven’.
This CD should be
7/10 E.C.
V/A - What’s Up
Matador (Matador)
Both Guided By
Voices and Tobin
Sprout are represented
on ‘What’s Up
Matador’, the stupen-
dous 2CD compiled
by indie titan Matador
Records - the spiritual
home of underground
rock. The first disc is
PIZZICATO FIVE
ALBUMS ROUND-UP
ABRA MOORE - Strangest Places (BMG)
Anyone who has a problem with lyrics
would like this album. It’s crammed full of
ooh’s, ah’s, hey’s and yeah’s. Abra is not
afraid to experiment with different and
unusual sounds in her backing tracks.
Sometimes this works. Sometimes it does-
n’t. 5/10 G.T.
TOENUT - Two In The Piñata (Mute)
The album gets off to a promising start with
a couple of poppy guitar fueled tracks that
sound vaguely like The Levellers (but
nowhere near as good); but after a while the
whole thing flops. It all sounds the same.
5/10 G.C.
PIZZICATO FIVE - Happy End Of The
World (Matador)
Hah, ha, ha, ha, These teeny popsters are
back, after last years ‘Quickie’ EP. They
sound like Bis or should it be Bis sound like
them? If you like high pitched singing over
dull dancey music then this should be right
up your street. If not, avoid. 4/10 F.F.
V/A - Camp Skin Craft (Now Wave)
A sampler of American Punk/new wave
music, a wide selection of punky indie rock,
but after 33 tracks they all tend to blur, in
fact none of them stand out. 4/10 F.F.
BIO.COM - Coming Up For Air
(Peepshow)
I feel depressed. When you hope for a Pink
Floyd style breakthrough, you are instead
given a piece of some of the most unimagi-
native and dull house music on the planet
(probably). At least the front cover’s cool.
4/10 A.M.
BT - ESCM (Perfecto)
Unfortunately, despite some very clear and
calculated efforts to make this a ground-
breaking, boundary crossing record, it winds
up confused and awkward. 3/10 A.M.
CITIZEN’S UTILITIES - No More
Medicine (Mute)
Continuing a long line of Middle America
pop wannabes. The variety on the album
would be very impressive if REM hadn’t
covered all those bases ten years ago. 3/10
J.B.
V/A - A Life Less Ordinary (A+M)
A very cheesy and pointless trash can type
album full of mediocre tracks from people
who can do better than this. Try before you
buy! 2/10 G.T.
ROC - Virgin (Virgin)
Errmm... well.... let’s just say this is a differ-
ent and diverse type of music. As an album
as a whole it stinks, even though it may
sound different. 2/10 I.U.
TOM LEACH - Tom Leach (Slow River)
It’s difficult to be constructive about a record
like this. Country songs about running out of
coffee and losin’ ya missus have little appeal.
2/10 A.M.
V/A - Brandon Lock’s Ibiza Mix (Massive)
The CD apparently features “some of the
best underground and pumping tunes”.. err,
sadly this is not the case. Don’t bother. 1/10
G.C.
SIMON RAYMONDE - Blame Someone
Else (Bella Union)
Herein are twelve “ballads” sung by the “tal-
ented” Simon Raymonde of Cocteau Twins
fame. This is nothing like the Cocteau Twins,
and certainly not recommended. 0/10 M.B.
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:59 Page 7 (1,1)

n Friday 31st October 1997 Entertainments Guide 7

GIG GUIDE
It is always advisable to confirm with
the venue before travelling.

21:00 Red Dwarf The Damned - Guildford Civic Hall (For details and bookings
21:30 Dangerfield (01483 444555) phone 01483 578017)
Eddie Izzard - London Brixton Times subject to change -
Friday

Academy
31st

22:00 Have I got News please check before film

for You La Bradford - London The Garage
(0171 607 1818)
21:00 Friends Moreau’s Island - London SUNDAY -
Upstairs at the Garage (0171 607
22:30 Rory Bremner
1818) THURSDAY
River - London Camden Barfly
(0171 482 4808) Wilde (15)
12:15, 13:05, 17:55, 20:40
20:10 Casualty
L.A. Confidential (18)
Saturday

22:50 Match of the Day Eddie Izzard - London Brixton

13:15, 16:45, 20:10
Academy
An American Werewolf in Paris
20:10 Decisive Moments: Hawkwind - Guildford Civic Hall
(15) 12:55, 15:35, 18:10, 20:50
1st

The Photos That Made History (01483 444555)

A Life Less Ordinary (15)
Sleater-Kinney, Comet Gain -
12:45, 15:25, 18:00, 20:40
19:15 Blind Date London Garage (0171 607 1818)
The Peacemaker (15)
22:35 Film: 3rd House Of Beef - Reading
14:15, 17:15, 20:20
Gunmen Alleycat (0118 956 1116)
Hercules (U)
12:30, 14:50, 17:30
The Full Monty (15)
20:00 Full Circle with 12:45, 15:15, 18:30, 21:00
AT YOUR Dustball -
Michael Palin Shooting Fish (12)
Sunday

UNION Guildford University

14:55, 17:35, 20:20
Bevis Frond - London Garage A Simple Wish (U)
2nd

22:15 Film: (0171 607 1818) (NB Not Wednesday) 12:45

Pulp Fiction Lydia Lunch - London Jazz Cafe Free Willy 3: The Rescue (U)
(0181 963 0940) 12:50
22:00 Jack Dee’s Sunday Contact (PG)
Service 20:00
My Best Friend’s Wedding (12)
(NB not Weds or Thurs)
23:30 Film 97 with Barry 15:10, 17:50, 20:30
Norman Friday & Saturday
Monday

BigBang Theory featuring

22:00 I’m Alan Partridge Carwash - Reading Alleycat (0118 Wilde (15)
12:15, 15:05, 17:55, 20:40
3rd

956 1116)
L.A. Confidential (18)
12:15, 15:25, 18:40, 21:55
21:00 Equinox
An American Werewolf in Paris
(15) 14:30, 17:35, 20:20, 22:45
A Life Less Ordinary (15)
14:15, 16:55, 19:30, 22:40
The Peacemaker (15)
23:30 Film: PICK The Beekeepers - 13:15, 16:15, 19:15, 22:20
Defence of the Realm OF THE London Kings Cross Water Hercules (U)
Thursday Wednesday Tuesday

WEEK Rats (0171 837 7269) 12:15, 14:35, 16:55, 19:25

23:15 Seinfeld Catatonia - London Astoria The Full Monty (15)
4th

The Hitchers, The Karelia - 14:00, 17:15, 20:15, 22:35

London Garage (0171 607 1818) Shooting Fish (12)
20:30 The Cook Report The Jellys, The O, Novocaine - 16:55, 19:30, 22:15
21:00 Soldier, Soldier Reading Alleycat (o118 956 1116) A Simple Wish (U)
22:40 Film: Mark Owen, Northern Uproar - 12:20, 14:25
Mad Max II Shepherds Bush Empire Free Willy 3: The Rescue (U)
12:45, 14:50
Contact (PG)
21:30 Absolutely Fabulous Asian Dub Foundation - 21:45
22:00 The X Files Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms My Best Friend’s Wedding (12)
Daft Punk - London Astoria 16:30, 19:00, 21:35
22:30 Newsnight
5th

Manbreak, A, Glitterbox - London

Camden Barfly (0171 482 4808)
Moke - London Club Moke
Northern Uproar - London Kings
19:30 UEFA Champions Cross Water Rats (0171 837 7269)
League Son Volt - London Dingwalls

22:00 They think it’s all over Asian Dub Foundation -

23:00 Question Time Farnham College
Comet Gain - London Camden
Underworld
20:30 Top Gear The Devils Own
6th

22:30 Newsnight The Hitchers - London Mean

Fiddler Lecture Theatre G
Manbreak, A, Glitterbox - Sunday 5pm & 8pm, Monday at
Portsmouth University 8pm
20:00 The Bill
21:00 Thief Takers Melvins - London Garage (0171 Brassed Off
607 1818) Wednesday 8pm
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:59
8 Cinema and Arts
LIGHTNING SEEDS
Union House- Friday 24 October 1997
o did you see the
S Lightning Seeds
last Friday?
‘Lucky You’! What
did you think?
‘Perfect?
‘Marvellous’? make
you ‘Happy’ and
dance with ‘Joy’ with
a ‘Tingle Tingle’ feel-
ing?
I’m a Purely
‘Jollification’ man
myself not ‘Dizzy
Heights’ so I was
pleased then when the
old favourites came
along such as ‘The
Life Of Riley’.
‘Blowing Bubbles’
was All I Wanted to
make it ‘My Best
Day’ though.
The crush on the
dance floor however at
the beginning was hor-
rendous. I now realise
what Karen Swales
meant in her open let-
ter to Barefacts two
weeks ago. People
jumping excitedly
made tidal waves
pulse through the
crowd. One girl had to
fight her way out saying she couldn’t
breathe. I was going to make fun of the
phrase “a capacity 1600 crowd” but not
anymore.
I quit the dance floor and watched from
Hari’s Bar on the screen. The trouble
was I could hardly hear the music from
the amount of chatter. Were people
there to watch and listen to a great
band or talk to each other?!
The end of every song was followed by
chants for ‘Three Lions’. True, it
would have lifted the roof off the union
if played but I was kind of glad it was-
n’t. While it is ace for a sing-a-long it
is a bit tacky compared to their other
material.
The Lightning Seeds write excellent
songs and some brilliant intros to them.
‘Why Why Why’ people clapped to the
THE JELLYS
Union House Sunday 19 October 1997
f the “crowd” 2 were
O photographers and 3
were stage crew,
which was a crying shame.
The Jellys were damn fine.
The three of them made up for
the lack of support by filling
the union with luxurious
noise.
The set of eleven songs
showed a quality of ability, if
perhaps a little unvaried. It
was refreshing, however, to
see a band who do not do the
obligatory acoustic ballad
slosh. Instead the music
bounced between punk and
rock. The energy unfortuately
didn’t transfer from band to
audience, but they seemed less
than disheartened and made
light of it. They looked partic-
ularly at home on the stage
and the performance was itch-
ing to be stunning but the
union was less than enthusias-
tic and killed the moment.
Many songs reminded you of some-
thing else, although they avioded the
cover version hellpit. Yes, it’s been
done before, but The Jellys do it well
and could easily give Green Day a run
for their money. If you like that sort of
thing then you really missed out. But
to be honest if you can’t be arsed to go
and see a band, for free, for a couple of
Page 8 (1,1)
superb haunting start of ‘Marvellous’ I
will never know. The LS are best on
CD, I feel. I’ve heard them do better
but playing live they sound a tad too
indie for my ears. On the other hand
they have tweaked a couple of their
songs, including a long extra bridge
section for ‘Marvellous’.
For all my complaints I congratulate
USSU Ents for signing the Lightning
Seeds. Personally though I would have
paid a higher Price to see them at a
more suitable venue. The SU may be
‘A Cool Place’ but perhaps not for
major acts such as these. ‘Bound In A
Nut Shell’ the Lightning Seeds are very
talented but as a live act they remain
‘A Small Slice Of Heaven’.
James Buller
hours on a Sunday evening then you
deserve to miss out. I went, I loved it.
Honey Butcher
The Jellys with Novocaine and The O
play Reading Alleycat on 4th Nov and
London Garage on 8th Nov.
The Peacemaker (15)
George Clooney,
Nicole Kidman
ction movies have a fairly
A predictable format.
Introduce a bad guy who
has a pretty serious grudge to bear.
Show your crowd what he’s going
to do (jaws drop at the twisted
nature of his cunning plan) and then
bring in the good guy who’s going
to save the world and his stunningly
good looking accomplice, come
love interest. The Peacemaker, the
first film from the new Spielberg
and Co’s new super studio,
Dreamworks, doesn’t differ on this
count.
Here we have an East European
leader who decides that he’s going
to hold the West to ransom with a
nuclear weapon. Only first he
demonstrates his intentions by deto-
nating a device quite spectacularly
in Central Russia. Enter straight
laced nuclear weapon expert, Nicole
Kidman and her, rogue-like side
kick George Clooney who have to
stop the man from the East going
atomic.
For a low budget action movie The
Peacemaker does very well. There
are lots of thrill seeking set pieces,
some of which hark back to classic
Bond movies. Clooney finally
Better the Devil you Know !!
owever, this weeks film is
H more concerned with the
Devil you don’t know, in
the Devil’s Own. The film concerns
an escaped IRA terrorist (Brad Pitt)
who takes up residence with an
American-Irish cop (Harrison
Ford). Potential for Trouble ? I
should think so and guess what ?
Trouble is exactly what the pair get.
A film well worth seeing, so instead
of sitting around doing nothing why
not watch The Devil’s Own.
So if you like the idea of a good
Irish-American tale, or you just
want something to do for an
evening. Then you can buy a ticket
by going along to the postroom in
the union, filling out a ticket and the
placing that ticket into the box.
Then simply go along to LTG pay
Another World Exists Next
To Us....
ast Wednesday, ODEON
L
Cinema gave the opportunity
to cinema goers to enjoy one
of its “PROJECTIONS” occurring
every such day. I attended it myself
and the film we saw was MICRO-
COSMOS.
The film is basically a documentary
showing in every detail a day in the
life of several insects. The film
makers Claude Nuridsany and
Marie Perennou spent a lifetime to
Friday 31st October 1997 n
Bruce Chapman
proves that he has got what it takes
on the big screen after luke warm
performances in One Fine Day and
Batman and Robin. Witty one liners
are spread evenly throughout this
two hour man/bomb hunt. Kidman
is as good as she has ever been
(think Dead Calm and To Die For
and you’re about there) and shows a
sensitive side to the shootings and
violence around her. For her first
film, Mimi Leder shows great matu-
rity in her direction. There are some
very clever shots which mimic
Scorsese at times. However, she has
a fresh approach to action movies,
Chris Coffey
your two pounds and choose a seat
of your liking. The film will be
showing on Sunday at 5p.m. and
8p.m. and again on Monday at
8p.m.
The Arts cinema will be showing
the exceptionally funny Brassed Off
that boasts a very strong British cast
which of course includes Ewan
observe and film. The action takes
place in an ordinary meadow in
Martha Stefanidou
Eveyron in France, a summers day,
and all the stars are garden pests.
The narrator is Christin Scott
Thomas.
The film is proud to have extraordi-
nary macrophotography and sound.
The camera captures scenes one
showing the audience the effects of
the bullet spraying antics going on
screen, actually making you realise
that the body count is steadily ris-
ing.
This is a good film for its genre -
entertainment from the word go!
Don’t expect too much depth, as
you certainly won’t get it here.
Maybe it is a bit too long and there
are a few pointless parts at the
beginning (speaking Russian for the
first ten minutes of the film would
be useful), but overall, for a first
effort, it’s a bloody riot. Taken in
the right frame of mind, you really
can’t beat it.
7/10
McGregor. So if you would like to
see this excellent British film then
you can buy a ticket for two pounds
from either the Arts Office or on the
door. This film as usual will be
shown in LTG at 8p.m. on
Wednesday.
If anyone has any suggestions con-
cerning the showing of films, the
films you would like to see and
even films you would like to see as
lateniters, then please put your ideas
on paper and leave them if the OFU
pigeon hole in the postroom.
Finally if anyone would like to have
a go at learning to project films,
contribute to selecting next season’s
films, or just fancy’s being involved
in a fun society, then please come
along to our meeting on Tuesday at
6p.m. in LTH. All are welcome.
would never imaging or even
believe exist, such as the interior of
ants’ nests. the mating of several
insects, the creation of butterflies
and ants’ struggling for mainte-
nance. The result is really fantastic
and surely the film is worth being
seen and applauded.
The audience enters a world in
miniature and visits a parallel uni-
verse peopled by strange and won-
derful aliens.
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:59 Page 9 (1,1)

n Friday 31st October 1997 Classified 9

n Too much lego makes Ben a dull
boy
n Conehead’s coming home!
n Nick, I was pushed!!! Fraggle.
n Nicky says the waiter at The
Green Man has no sense of
humour!!!
n More service stations on the M3
please.
n Alan M.. really needs a SHAG.
n Suz, what have you found?
n J.P., you have done worse than
getting on to the scoreboard
n Tom, you are a Tart.
n Thanks for the flowers N, love C
n Chiquitilla: you are the most
beautiful girl in the world
n Trout Boy! You out there some-
where my love?
n Mike - did she enjoy licking
your sloblocks?
n The verb: to bungle - bungler, go
bungling, to be bungled! Isn’t that
right then?
n Come on pride - prrr prrr
n IT 2nd year, how are you
doing?? Is Marcin still fooling
around with the machines, C_YA
Chris!!!
n BF 2am.... Bob 7.45pm We win
the cuddly toy is ours....
n K.E. nothing like projectile vom-
itting!!!
n After three unsuccessful years,
now I get too many!
n Look, no more Crisis or catastro-
phes please, we’ve got enough at
the moment.
n Mire needs some loft insulation!
n Calling the Fart Machine!! K.E
where R U??
n Who needs a roofreack any-
way?!
n Hello everybody at Surrey, just a
little hi from Christina.
n DOK! bartman forgot! des-
paretely seeking seeker JB 4216
n Everyone is then, and then there
is the others.
n Alex- Nice dancing to Barbie
Girl on Wednesday!!!
n Temperature in the union during
the Lightening Seeds - Schorchio
!!!
n When are we next “doing din-
ner” then? Your place or mine?
n Tich - Do you like playing stock
cars on the M3 or did you just like
the girl in front?! Ummm
n Has anyone got any PENNIES to
lend to Rob? Is there anything he
HASN’T done?!!
n So, down the back of the chair
were they!! ‘but I checked there’
n Chris Sturt- How is your Friday
fresher? from club One Eleven.
n A - So do you make a habit of
‘tasting’ peoples hands then?!!
n Rob D - are you sure sport gave
you those bruises
n ‘Nel’ Mangle Tit’s, we love you.
n All Diesel drinkers prepare for
diesel fest ‘97
n Warren - you may be 2 stars
higher than me but there’s nothing
you could teach me!! DB
n Long live Austin Powers,
International Building of Mystery.
Personals
n Simon, have you set a date yet?
Week12
n Antonia ... damn I had to blow
up the lilo this time! - C
n Catherine, I’ve booked an
appointment at the opticians for
you next week.
n Laura & Angela, wish I was
there!!! But this is O.K too,
Christina
n A, C, K, R, A & S want a gag?
n Aren’t the Dust Junkies brilliant
!!!!!
n AFAFAFAFAFA!!!!!!
n Tricky + haggis, Vodca, spoor,
Saturday be there - Fraggle
n Will Kev, Psychology postgradu-
ate please get in touch with me
regarding the great ideas that he
wrote on Union suggestion slips. I
want to know more. I want to know
your surname. Call me - Bob ext.
9227
n How do you turn out street lights
Rich ?
n Celebrating 20 all over again!
Only 4 months late! Thanks, I had
a an Ab Fab time. Love you all, M.
n To the bloke who lifted me up to
take a photo of the Lightning Seeds
- cheers mate, you’re a star!
n Nothing happened in the tent,
I’m innocent!!!! - Fraggle
n Alicia: Have you got a bottle of
cruzcampo??? Te quiero
n Attention all cold students - Alex
& Matt’s double glazing service is
now in
n Andy - I can hold my own!
Tracy (4), you’re the only man for
me. James (1)
n Drink one oel for me, Jens. RK
the Viking
n Pannell, you know nothing...
n this one’s about two inches big-
ger than the other one.
n How do you turn out street lights
Rich ?
n Long live Austin Powers,
International Building of Mystery.
n Il faut dormir les nuits mon petit
n Look out lads, it’s a falling plane
n What’s up with the tape recorder
Warren?
n One Car, two doors, four keys!!
n Can Andy who contacted Bare
Facts about contributing please
give us another call as the exten-
sion number we have for you does-
n’t work - Cheers Ed.
n To the bestset boyfriend in the
entire universe... mr jelly baby you
are just the best , and I think the
world of you... heres to another 3
years... love l.m.*******
n Thanks to those who did nothing
to stop a guy punching us at Bo’s,
thanks for watching
n This week, I ‘ave mostly been
eating all the pies
n Congratulations to Mark for
organising an excellant Rag
Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n Sarah - lets try to beat 5!
Wingnut, how’s the Dutch connec-
tion?
n Jump on, do you want any coke
with that malibu? Slag of x
n Phil and Susie... you forgot your
union card numbers.
n Matt “I look like a grass hopper”
Pannell!!!
n Percy - What’s your game, you
dirty old ripper?
n Duracell Bunny, How HARD
was Fraggle’s floor on Friday
night. Did you sleep or play ball? -
Warren
n SFTW - reserve your copy now
n Happy halloween Dean love
me*****
n Warren and Duracell have some
talking to do, don’t we! You’re too
expensive you know.
n Jeremy, you must think your
boat has come in.
n Doris -It’s nice when you have a
nice sandwish isn’t it?
n D.B. welcome to the world of
alcoholism - Fraggle & Chums
n Julie at Twyford - woman, i miss
ya. Hope you are surviving the
onslaught of size 8’s. Love Kazza
Mo.
n We may not have qualified this
year, but we’ll be back...
n Simon- Had any good Pizzas
recently-
n Dolly - can I just have a sip of
your gin?
n Gorjus, U R + 2 ,Gorjus’er
n Heres to another three years
coco....
n Look out lads, it’s a falling plane
n BTW it’s your and not you’re.

Notices
Hong Kong Society AGM 31st October ‘97
6:00pm LTA
Canoe Club - Wednesday 5th November, Trip
to Hurley Wier, followed by fireworks at the
RAM cider house!!! ENJOY.
Bare Facts Editorial Board Meetings 6pm
every Monday in the Office in Union House
MetSoc AGM 21AB20 1pm 12th November
‘97
Taiwanese Soc AGM 31st October 6pm LTH
Archery Club AGM 4th November 7:30pm
LTK
Postgraduate Association AGM 4th
November 6pm LTA
Jiu Jitsu AGM is Sunday 9th November, 8pm.
Meet in Campusport Studio.
Oscar Film Unit (OFU) meet weekly on
Tuesdays at 6pm in LT H, come along and help
choose next semester's films! Everyone wel-
come!
The Singapore Students’ Society is having a
Tea Reception on the 31st October 1997 at LT
D at 6:45pm and all students are welcome.
Postgrad Association AGM to take place on
Tuesday 4th November at 5pm at Wates House.
Sci Fi & Anime GM Sunday 9th November
2:30pm LTA, contact ch61hm for more details.
Judo AGM 12Nov 3:45 (after training) Dance
Studio Campusport
Netgamer AGM Wed 12th Nov 7:30pm LTB
Boat (Rowing) Club AGM 12th November
5:30pm Grant Mitchell Room.
We would just like to say a big thanks to all
those who gave us money during Rag week. We
raised over £100 in 2 hours. Screamer &
Zombie.
Unplugged
Thanks to all of you who came along last
Tuesday to experience what turned out to be
another terrific ‘Unplugged’. If you want to
join in the next one (week 11, 18th November)
let me know through the Unplugged pigeon
hole as soon as possible. The Unplugged band-
wagon is truly gaining momentum. The atmos-
phere created in the Helyn Rose bar is brilliant
so if you have yet to try it, what’s keeping you?
If you want to get involved, come along to
Hari’s bar on a Turesday at 7pm. See you
there.Tom Sherwen - Unplugged chairman
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:59
10 Sports and Features
The Minibusgate
Affair
ave you ever used a Union minibus??
H Used it to go to matches? To go on
sporting trips? As a society? Caught
a bus to and from events? Ever caught one
back from Bo’s or Cindies??
The Students’ Union currently owns 7
minibuses - 2 vans and 5 seated buses -
which are used to death for the following rea-
sons:
n BUSA matches
n 50 sports clubs
n 50 societies
n Hazel farm runs on a Friday Night and
special events - For which the
Accomodation Office pay £10 per run, to
include payment of driver. We still have to
incur the costs for diesel and maintenance.
n Club runs back from Cindies on
Monday’s and Bo’s on Wednesday’s - the
funding for which is split 3 ways between
the Union, University Security and the
University Senate. Minibus runs to Bo’s on
a Wednesday are run and payed for by
Union.
Union Amenities such as Stage Crew, getting
the House Officers to the Bank safely, Other
Union stuff, getting equipment to gigs etc
etc.
n Transporting the EIHMS Nurses based
off campus.
n Intro week usage.
All University Departments both for
Academic and Adminisatrative use.
The Union Club incurrs all costs for mainte-
nance and repair and as such runs the at a
huge loss. At the year end 1995 (the only
Page 10 (1,1)
Friday 31st October 1997 n
CHRISTMAS BALL!!
ARE YOU SWEET ENOUGH TO COME?!
F
or the first time ever in the history of the
University of Surrey, we are finally
going to have a Christmas Ball on
Friday 19th December in the Students Union.
band?? Tickets will be £15 so now is your
chance, how do you want your money spent?
Any questions, opinions, ideas then please just
come along to the Ents meeting/ fill in the
figures I can find on hand at the moment it
was £14,274 deficit. And insurance costs a
hell of a lot too.
YES we would like to do more runs
Preparations for this event have already begun
but we need to know what YOU want to see
there to make it a brilliant night. At the
moment, there is just a small committee mak-
form below and put it in the ‘Balls’ pigeon
hole in the Students Union building. If pre-
ferred then you could also email any of us:
Susie Westwell on Li61sw, Karen Hanmore
YES we would like to take to do more
ing all these important decisions on behalf of on Li61kh, Anna Butterworth on Li61ab or
Hazel Farm runs
the whole university which is obviously not Claire Wallace on ec61cw. We look forward to
YES we would like a whole new fleet of
ideal so the more input we get from the stu- hearing from you!
buses
dents, the better this event can be. If you want CHARTER BALL
YES we need more drivers
to hear the latest developments in the plans for
Realistically, we need to buy two new buses
this ball, we present them each week at the
The Charter Ball will be held in February ’98
which cost £15 000 each. Realisitcally we are
Ents Committee meetings on Mondays at 6pm
and preparations are also already underway.
looking for more than one driver to do the
in technology Grant Mitchell meeting room
We are working to make this event the biggest
Club runs, more than two to do the Hazel
(opposite the Bare Facts office). EVERYONE
and best yet but we want YOUR help!!
Farm runs, more than 4 to do BUSA - Charter Ball meetings are held every
IS WELCOME! So please just come along Wednesday , meeting at 4pm in the Students
MORE than the existant core of drivers.
and you can honestly make a difference. The Union lobby first of all. Everybody is wel-
So YES we would like you to take a test, its
Christmas Ball has a ‘sweets’ theme and we come, we already have some really exciting
only a tenner and then volunteer to be a reg-
have already come up with many ideas to fol- ideas,
ular minibus driver - you can get paid for the
low this theme, any suggestions to make this
work you do. so come along and see what you think! Any
event even sweeter and sticker (yes we have queries can also be put in the ‘Balls’ pigeon
and YES we would like suggestions on how
already thought of chocolate body paint!) then
to improve the current minibus situation. hole in the Union, or email to ms41cp,
they will be very welcome.
because YES we need more Buses. (Corinna Phillips).
All our ideas are yet to be confirmed but we
Got any solutions/ buses/drivers/ piles of
do have a professional photographer, tattooist,
cash that you’d like to offload?? Susie Westwell
and amazing pictures already booked for the
Come and see Caz - Sports Officer
evening. At present we are looking to get a
(ext.9981) who is also the person in charge of
recognised DJ to play for the evening which
buses!
we are waiting to hear a reply from, we do
need some input however as to whether or not
P.S As we are writing this article a bus was
a band would be preferred and if so what
used to take a member of staff down to the
Health Centre. Another bus was found to
have a flat battery coz someone left the lights
on.
The perfect Christmas bash? You decide.....
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:59 Page 11 (1,1)

n Friday 31st October 1997 Sports 11

The Perfect Start... The Untouchables!!!

Wednesday 22 October 1997, Merrick Park Golf Club,
Bournmouth
Surrey 3 Bournmouth 3 Burpham Res FC 0
he defend- quite funny for University of Surrey FC B XI 6
T ing BUSA
G o l f
Jacques & Manky Rob. Mr Bean then
hit it in the trees and
champions got off to a dismal start of course Jamie won the hole !!!!
T
he Surrey ‘B’ football team
continued their meteoric rise
up the leaguetable with yet
STIFFY CLIFFY after the break, Amigo Paulo, com-
pleted the Surreydomination as
Burpham wilted in Surrey’s autumn
of the season with a mediocre draw The rest of the match isn’t worth despite theneanderthal tactics of the
against Bournemouth. talking about really. Briefly, Ajay another storming victory. As yet sunshine.
undefeated, in the Guildfordand filthy Burpham scum! Solid centre Football was thewinner on the day
The day started off poorly with “Nice Car!!!” Patel and Sandro midfielddomination from Yannis
Jamie O’Doherty turning up late “Italian Stallion” Carlotti both win- Woking Alliance League, the boys with the boys proving beyond any
kept their first clean sheet of thesea- ‘Deep’ Boziaris and Andy ‘Kitman’ shadow of a doubt, thatthe ball to
and proceeding to get us lost within ning. Mark “Ginga” Booker man- Harkett provided astiff and erect
a mile of university. Not bad con- aging to half his match ( Not bad son. Stunning performances across feet is mightier than the hoof!
the back from Yankee Doodle, The backbone from which the limbs of Many thanks to those who drove us
sidering he lives within 2 minutes for a +1 handicapper who is in the the team applied avice-like, choke
of the course we were playing at. England Youth Squad!!!) with a 5 BoySimone, Henri ‘Onions’ to the ground; Spooner, Baldie and
Gueydan, Mad Alex Pruthi and hold on the game. Fantastic wing ‘themindoors’; and especially all
However he redeemed himself in handicaper who hit it like a tart !! . play from Gareth’Hat-Trick’
amazing fashion by holing-in-one Rob “Ginga Lamp Chops” Alter Quincy Stiff ensured theSurrey net those chiselling Old Boys who
was kept as free of balls as a Walters and Simon ‘Braice’ Roche, made the Team ofthe Day success
at the 243 yard opening hole. On managing a half against his Finnish provided 5 of the Surreygoals, with
striking the shot he turned away in opponent and Chris “ Manky” Eunachs underpants! that much sweeter.”
A defiant team spirit and confi- the sixth coming as a result of a All the Lads......”
disgust and cursing that he hit the Manger losing his match against an magnificent solo run from’Mad’
shot fat (i.e. crap for all you non- Eddie Large lookalike. dence, far ahead of the years of a
relativelyyoung team, kept control Alex.Terrier like pressure and pin-
golfers). His reaction on making his Oh well, still undefeated in over a point feeder play from the Golden
first ace was an understandable “ year, better luck next week and of the game for a solid 90 minutes,
boy Meads,Constitution Hill, and
Oh shit !!!! I’m skint guys !!!!” hopefully we’ll never have to travel

Men’s Water Polo Most

His Mr Bean lookalike opponent so bloody far again !!!!
stepped up to the tee and Rob OOPS !!! Almost forgot, Jamie
(Jacques Villeneuve) Alter greeted ”Youdaman!!!” O’Doherty mirac-
him with “ Well, this one for the ulously lost his match too.
half mate !!!!” This was actually
Sucessful Club ‘96/’97
CAMPUSPORT Achievements - colours ball Meeting times -
Golf Course over the last few years Surrey will verify. The whole of last year
was filled with drunken antics
If this is up your alley (though we
University Mens Water Polo Club wont be), then turn up outside sen-
few places are still available for this 5 week course for beginners, which

A starting on Tuesday 11th November 6.00 - 7.00 p.m. Come and sign
up at the Sports Centre.
has
progressively improved, culminat-
ing in reaching the BUSA semi-
finals and
improve team spirit and is an
important part in the teams out-
look.
ate
house at :
Mondays :
Thursdays :
8:15 pm
8:45 pm
Step Aerobics winning the Surrey County Cup.
Which earnt us the prestigious title About Training -
Sundays : 8:15 pm
new 5-week course has been arranged for all those who missed the

A Tuesday evening opportunity! It’s a great workout and Joanna is a

motivating, professional teacher - do sign up for the course on or
before 5th November to secure your place.
of
Most Successful Club of 1996 / 97.
This success was heightened by the
high
COURSE DETAILS: FRIDAYS 7TH NOVEMBER - 5TH DECEMBER contingent of new comers to the
@ 5.20 pm
team.
FEE: Card Holders £5/Non card holders £7.50/Staff £10
Social -
Ballroom Dance Society The Men Water Polo Club is now
recognised as one of the major
reminder that the first meeting and “Come and Try Ballroom
Our Monday training sessions are
dedicated to improving you stami-
na and
stroke, and we also swim. Our
Contacts -
If you want to find out more, con-
tact : Alec does she swallow
Patterson on
Thursday sessions are reserved for
x 4312 or Lex Philippidis on x
tactical 4702
improvement and matches. Finally
on Sunday we endeavour to prac- LEX.
tise our
Ball Skills and other individual

A socially water polo skills. Obviously after

Dancing” is on Wednesday 5th November at 7.30 p.m. in the training an energy replenishing ail-
active sports team in the
University Hall. ment, (i.e. mines a Stella guv.)
University, as, those at last years

Evening Row, row, row your boat

Aerobics in the Weybridge Silver Skulls - 18th October 1997

University Hall I
reminder that the classes
n just four weeks of the Freshers Stefano also entered in the novice
arriving we entered our first Head Annie Preston Single Skull event and avoiding the
race of the semester. The day was swans this time, finished an
perfect, with glorious sunshine it was not only a day of impressive twelth out of thirty one other Clubs.
racing, but a chance for all those (sexy!) rowers to show Well done guys, keep the training up - those early
Tuesdays 1.00 - 2.00 p.m. and 7.00

A will be returning to their

programmed time now the
Open University examinations have
finished. That is:
Mondays 6.00 - 7.00 p.m.
Wednesdays 5.00 - 6.00 p.m.
Thursdays 6.30 - 7.30 p.m.
All abilities - both men and women
- are welcome to these fun work-
outs which also include classes at
the Sports Centre as follows:
- 8.00 p.m.
Thursdays 5.30 - 6.30 p.m. (Funky
Aerobics!)
Fridays 1.00 - 2.00 p.m.
Sundays 11.00 a.m. - noon
all and top up the fading summer tan. mornings ARE paying off, honest!!
Stefano Predieri and Steve Poole represented Surrey If you fancy yourself in one of those lycra all-in-ones
University in a Double Skull. The 3300m long course and can handle the commitment of being part of a crew
was a test for these two who had a brilliant start and that relies on each member 100% then contact Stefano:
looked strong. Near the finish, as exhaustion set in, me61sp or Annie: bs61ap.
things got a little hairy with Stefano trying to behead a
passing swan and another crew careering into the
bridge, our double finished an outstanding fourth.
Maybe not Redgrave and Pinsent, but give them time,
these two will be winning tankets for every member of
our Club.
ED971031Issue 918.qxd 07/05/98 14:59 Page 12 (1,1)

12 Sports Friday 31st October 1997 n

Diesel and White

Water
he traditional Freshers White hugging wetsuits. (mine kindly Duracell Bunny’s very giggly effort sheep that Stef was so excited

T Water trip to Symonds Yat in

Wales began with an 8
o’clock start on Saturday. This
donated by Warren - why did you
have a ladies wetsuit?!!)
The first paddle of the day involved
Sally Hanning

then shovelled much needed Frog in

proved somewhat of a struggle for
most people due to a massive Friday
night out. However, everyone grad-
ually appeared and by 9 we were
well on the way to a wicked and cer-
tainly wet weekend on the River
Wye. For those less experienced
paddlers who were maybe a bit ner-
vous about the white water, their
fears were put to rest by Fraggles’
death deifying driving, as surely
nothing would be more scary than
that. When we eventually arrived,
in one piece, we were confronted
with the mammoth task of squeez-
ing into our very attractive, figure
advise and strokes to be used on the
rapids, voluntarily submerging our-
selves into ice cold water, and final-
ly seal launching of a 10ft high rock
which seemed to be a great laugh -
Yeah I know I’m a chicken!! We
then made our way down the rapids,
cruising along very sophisticatidily
and finished off with a bit of posing
around at the bottom - some of us
more than others!!
Paddling over, we made our way to
a campsite and after huge stresses
about putting up dodgy tents we
descended on the local and made a
start to our evening piss up. We
the Forests and fiery chicken curries
down our gullets and started down-
ing the dreaded “diesel”. Yes you
name it, every single drinking game
and stupid noise came out that
night. Including the Teletubbies and
Spice Girls, which gave us disap-
proving looks from the locals, but
did we give a dam? - no! Being
well tanked up, we made our way
back, entertaining ourselves with
dodgy renditions of Bohemian
Rhapsody. The evening finished off
in a very merry way by a)being bol-
locked by the warden and b) being
hugely entertained by Fraggle and
in the tent. Let’s just say it didn’t
leave much to the imagination!
(Don’t believe a word she
says...DB)
Naturally in the morning most peo-
ple were feeling a little worse for
wear - not really surprising if your
tent is taken down in the middle of
the night!! So we slowly made it
through the mist to the minibus and
back to the river. The adorning of
cold, wet wetsuits wasn’t every-
one’s idea of fun especially as the
bush us ladies were changing
behind didn’t provide much cover
from fascinated drivers. We spent
the morning drifting down stream,
singing horrifically out of tune
songs and frightening all those
about!!
Our last paddle of the rapids was
followed by the traditional swim for
all those who dared. The long and
arduous journey stuck in traffic
jams improved on various attempts
to pull other drivers (and their girl-
friends!) Haggis’ tactics were sim-
ply to hurl himself out of the win-
dow and make interesting gestures
at unassuming woman, which sur-
prisingly enough didn’t work.
All in all the trip was a great laugh
and a huge confidence builder when
it comes to white water!

Black
Wednesday
We lost - enough said. All that I
wish to say is that I wish I had start-
ed this results table a bit later on or
that the Editior in his ultimate wis-
dom(?) wasn’t so cross (cross?
Me? Shurely some mistake? - Ed)
Cazza
when I suggested that I only wanted
to have a table when we won lots!!
Anyway, well done to those that
won - and by God do we know that
you won! And well done for those
whe stayed to back me up when the
oppostion got nasty - thanks and I
love you all!!

....The Results.....The Results....The Results.....Resul

Sporty Thang The Enemy Them Us Sporty Thang The Enemy Us Them
FOOTBALL M1 SOUTHBANK 3 HOCKEY W1 1 DIDN’T PLAY
FOOTBALL M2 SOUTHBANK 7 HOCKEY W2 1 PORTSMOUTH 0 12
FOOTBALL M3 PORTSMOUTH 4 NETBALL 1 1 READING 29 38
FOOTBALL M4 SUSSEX 3 NETBALL 2 2 READING 15 68
FOOTBALL W1 SOUTHAMPTON 4 RUGBY M1 3 KINGS COLLEGE 25 12
BADMINTON M1 PORTSMOUTH 5 RUGBY M2 4 KINGS COLLEGE 5 30
BADMINTON M2 PORTSMOUTH 5 RUGBY W1 4 SOUTHAMPTON INST. 0 39
BADMINTON W1 BUC 1 SQUASH M1 8 DIDN’T PLAY
BASKETBALL KINGSTON SQUASH M2 LOST SOUTHAMPTON INST. LOST
FENCING SUSSEX 20 SQUASH W 7 DIDN’T PLAY
GOLF BOURNEMOUTH3 VOLLEYBALL M3 CANCELLED DOES THIS COUNT? AS A WIN?
HOCKEY M1 SOUTHAMPTON INST.
4 VOLLEYBALL W1 SUSSEX 1 3
HOCKEY M2 DIDN’T PLAY TENNIS M DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT TENNIS
TENNIS W PORTSMOUTH 2 4
FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO WON BASTARDS! FOR THOSE WHO LOST - THEY WERE ONLY SCUMMERS AND WE GOT RID OF THEM IN THE END!