Analytical Writing PDF

Yourself!
Comp se
A GUIDE TO
CRITICAL THINKING AND
ANALYTICAL WRITING IN
SECONDARY SCHOOL
Amy Rukea Stempel
WITH G RATITU D E
This book would not have been possible without the

frustrations, hard questions, and ultimate successes of my
students. Many thanks for letting me work with you over the
years.
Profound thanks also go to my editors, Stephanie Soper and
Nancy Dean, and writing mentors, Dr. Ruth Mitchell and Patte
Barth. A writer is only as good as her teachers.
And finally, a shout out to my family, husband and daughter,
who have endured many, many hours, days, years of my
somewhat obsessive interests. You both keep me sane.
T ABLE OF C ONTENTS
It goes against the grain of modern education to teach students to program [computers]. What fun is there to making plans, acquiring discipline,
organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self
critical?
Alan Perlis, computer scientist
INTRODUCTION
Why Require Analytical Writing in ALL Subjects? ............................................ 3
Operating Instructions....................................................................................... 11
BEFORE WRITING BEGINS

Text Structures: Organizing Thinking ................................................................ 17
The Topic: The BIG Question............................................................................ 19
Possible Text Structures................................................................................... 21
Analytical Text Structures & Sample Topics ................................................. 22
Brainstorming I: The Art of Asking Questions .................................................. 24
Research: Being a Detective .......................................................................... 25
Brainstorming II: Graphic Organizers ............................................................... 31
Choosing an Appropriate Graphic Organizer............................................ 32
Sample Graphic Organizer: Basic Multi-Flow Map..................................... 34
GETTING STARTED: THE PIECES OF AN ANALYTICAL ESSAY

Thesis Statement: If Nothing Else, Learn This! .................................................. 37
Sample Cause-Effect Analysis Organizer .................................................... 40
Compose Yourself!
www.lightbulblearning.net
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Examples of Topics & Thesis Statements for Each Text Structure .............. 41
Supporting Ideas & Supporting Evidence: Whats the Difference? ............ 43
Supporting Ideas Continued: The Rule of Three Explained....................... 54
The Statement of Structure: The Road Map................................................... 55
The Lead-In: Getting the Audience In the Mood ...................................... 57
Transitions: Integrating the Pieces ................................................................... 59
The Confusing Conclusion: The End is in Sight!............................................... 60
Titles: Whats in a Name? ................................................................................. 62
THE MANY PIECES BECOME A WHOLE

Assembling the Puzzle ....................................................................................... 65
The First Draft: Plain Hard Work ........................................................................ 67
Eureka!! The Finished Essay ............................................................................... 74
THINKING & ORGANIZATION TOOLBOX

Order of Operations for an Analytical Essay .................................................. 85
Template: Organizing Analytical Writing ........................................................ 86
Checklist: Editing the Final Draft ...................................................................... 87
Tips for Writing a Compare-Contrast Essay..................................................... 89

Blank Compare-Contrast Analysis Organizer .............................................. 91
Sample Completed Compare-Contrast Analysis Organizer..................... 92
Sample Completed Compare-Contrast Template.................................... 93
Tips for Writing a Cause-Effect Essay ............................................................... 95

Blank Cause-Effect Analysis Organizer ........................................................ 97
Compose Yourself!
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Sample Completed Cause-Effect Analysis Organizer ............................... 98

Sample Completed Cause-Effect Template ............................................ 100
Tips for Writing a Problem-Solution Essay ...................................................... 103

Blank Problem-Solution Analysis Organizer................................................ 105
Sample Completed Problem-Solution Analysis Organizer....................... 106
Sample Completed Problem-Solution Template...................................... 108
Tips for Writing a Concept-Definition (Descriptive) Essay............................ 111

Blank Concept-Definition Analysis Organizer............................................ 114
Sample Completed Concept-Definition Analysis Organizer .................. 115
Sample Completed Concept-Definition Template.................................. 117
Tips for Writing a Goal-Action-Outcome (Process) Essay ........................... 119

Blank Goal-Action-Outcome Analysis Organizer ..................................... 122
Sample Completed Goal-Action-Outcome Analysis Organizer ............ 123
Sample Completed Goal-Action-Outcome Template ........................... 124
Tips for Writing a Proposition-Support (Persuasive) Essay ............................ 127

Sample Completed Proposition-Support Analysis Organizer ................ 131
Blank Proposition-Support Analysis Organizer ......................................... 132
Sample Completed Proposition-Support Template ............................... 134
RUBRICS FOR ASSESSMENT

Building Rubrics ................................................................................................ 139
Sample Ninth Grade General Writing Rubric ............................................... 142
Specific Structure of Argument Criteria for Each Text Structure ................ 144
Compose Yourself!
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WRITING IN ALL SUBJECTS

Translating the Elements of Analytical Writing for the Core Subjects........ 153
Writing in Math: Just the (Math) Facts, Maam......................................... 155
Writing in Science: The Lab Report............................................................. 158
Analytical Writing Ideas for Non-Core Subjects........................................... 168
GO FORTH AND PROSPER
............................................................................ 170
BLACK-LINE MASTERS
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CLICK PUBLICATIONS
Organization Template
Editing Checklist
Compare-Contrast Analysis Organizer
Cause-Effect Analysis Organizer
Problem-Solution Analysis Organizer
Concept-Definition Analysis Organizer
Goal-Action-Outcome Analysis Organizer
Proposition-Support Analysis Organizer

Lab Report Template
Rubric
WRITING SAMPLES
AVAILABLE ONLINE @ WWW.LIGHTBULBLEARNING.NET
CLICK PUBLICATIONS
Compose Yourself!
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I NTRODUCTION
Compose Yourself!
page 1
Compose Yourself!
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WHY REQUIRE ANALYTICAL WRITING IN ALL SUBJECTS?

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do
it, it is not all mixed up.
A.A. Milne
Writing is thinking made visible. Unclear writing reflects unclear thinking. Students
tell their teachers and parents, I know the answer, I just cant explain it! or I
dont care if you dont understand what Ive written, I know what I mean! While
these responses can be exasperating, they also bode ill for students future success. School is where students need to learn how to structure and communicate
their analytical thinking. And analytical writing is the most effective means for
schools to teach students how to do that. This resource guide can be the first
step on that path.
Much has been written about the creative aspect of writing narratives; however,
there has been relatively little focus on the types of expository academic writing
students need in order to succeed both in school and later in life. Schools explicitly teach narrative, descriptive writing beginning in elementary school. Unfortunately, too often educators then expect secondary students will intuit how to
transfer those skills to write clear, concise, organized responses to difficult, realworld questions in secondary school. When this does not happen, parents and
teachers wonder why students are not able to analyze and synthesize information effectively.
Generally, our society thinks of writing as a creative art, not a learned, structured
skill. However, in order for others to follow ones thinking in all disciplines, ideas
need to be logically organized and effectively communicated. Individuals cannot think clearly without using well-ordered language, let alone communicate
with others.
Compose Yourself!
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While there are detailed books teaching analytical thinking and writing, such as
St. Martin's Guide to Writing (9th Edition) by Rise B. Axelrod and Critical Strategies
for Academic Thinking & Writing by Mike Ross & Malcolm Kiniry, Compose Yourself! is designed to be a quick and easy guide to teaching and learning critical
thinking and analytical writing at the secondary level. I recommend that all secondary teachers use this resource as the basic framework when analytical writing
is called for in each subject area. Ideally, all teachers at a school will work from
this framework so that the faculty can develop a common language and expectation for writing and thinking instruction. However, even if schools choose
not to use this guide, parents and students can do so independently to help
strengthen thinking and writing skills. In the process, students will learn how to better retain information, leading to improved overall academic functioning.
Encouraging Intellectual Creativity

Intellectual creativity is not anything goes. Albert Einstein had to work within,
and explain, the known rules of the universe before he could convince other scientists of the validity of the Theory of Relativity. Truly creative people do notin
fact they cannotignore the realities in which they find themselves. What they
do is interpret and make connections between and among facts and disciplines
in ways that no one else has done before.
Most critically, those who are intellectually creativeor at least those who make
their mark on the worldare able to effectively communicate that interpretation
to others. No matter how brilliant the person, if she cannot communicate her
thinking to the wider world, nothing will come of it.
Unfortunately, research shows that students in the United States are weak when it
comes to reading and writing non-fiction, as is apparent in the results of the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP). This is not because students
cannot learn these skills, but because we so often do not teach it well, or at all.
(For more information on NAEP go to: http://nces.ed.gov/nationsreportcard/)
Compose Yourself!
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Narrative vs. Analytical (Expository) Writing

Students begin learning to write in elementary school by composing personal
narratives. It is the way the human brain is naturally wired to workto tell a story.
However, academic writing that explains the relationships and patterns between
and among ideas is analytical and expository. Analytical writing and thinking is
the currency of the academic world. It is also the currency of the real world. Colleagues do not want a story (i.e., a narrative) about the workshop. They want an
analysis of what worked, what didnt work, and what changes need to be made
to make it better.
Thinking Made Visible

Expository
Narrative
Can be fiction or non-fiction
Follows a story structure
(beginning-middle-end)
Uses sensory descriptions and
images to engage all the
senses
Is taught first because the
human brain is naturally wired
to tell stories
Is used often in the early
grades to learn about the
craft of literary, descriptive
writing
Provides information and analysis; is

non-fiction
Analyzes existing facts and ideas for
relationships and patterns
Employs one of the six analytical
text structures
Is organized logically with clear thesis, supporting ideas, and supporting
evidence
Forces writer to think about thinking
(metacognition)
Must have supporting ideas and
evidence that demonstrate a
Can be fictitious; no command of the facts necessary
command of the facts

Represents abstract thinking rather
than sensory understanding
The purposes and methods of organization in narrative and

analytical writing are very different. There can be a transfer
in style and descriptive detail between these two types of
writing, but it must not interfere with the texts organization.
Compose Yourself!
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Teaching & Measuring Student Thinking

The only way to adequately teach higher-order thinking or critical thinking
and ensure students enduring capacity for it is through the written analysis of
facts and data. We know it works; so why do we avoid it? It takes discipline,
deep knowledge, and constant reflection on the part of both teachers and students. Easily said, less easily done. This book will help teachers teach and students learn how to think critically and write analytically in all subject areas, as
well as help students develop the deep knowledge and skills required to succeed. By using a framework, it is possible to begin to develop the discipline required to be critical thinkers.
Formulaic vs. Structured Writing

In architecture, laws of gravity, force, and stress, as well as the functions the
building will fulfill, must be the primary basis for its design. If these laws and needs
are not followed, the building runs the risk of falling apart and failing in its mission.
Still, there is room for a great deal of creativity and original expression within the
limits set by these laws and needs. Heeding the laws that provide for a solid,
functional structure need not mean following a formula.
It is the same with critical thinking and analytical writing. Following rules for good
structure helps to lead an audience through the thinking within a text so that it
can follow its logic and understand how its ideas relate to one another. With sophisticated, complex, and transparent transitional languagethat is the language that represents the writers logic and analysisthere is no need for formulaic writing. An analytical text can adhere to good structure and be creative.
There is no need, then, to avoid teaching structure out of concern for squelching
students creativity. In fact, as in architecture, a developing writer must first learn
the rules of structure. This book is designed to guide teachers as they develop in
their students the structured skills of thinking and writing. Upcoming supplements
will help teachers deepen this instruction.
Compose Yourself!
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Formal vs. Informal Writing

Academic writing is formal writing. That does not mean it has to be boring or incomprehensible; however, secondary students should not write like they speak.
There are a few basic, common sense guidelines for formal, analytical, academic writing that all students should follow:
Remove first and second person references (no I or you);
Remove slang, text, or internet spelling or vocabulary;
Remove contractions;
Remove chatty or familiar tone. Rather than, Let me tell you about
photosynthesis, write, Photosynthesis is the process by which plants

convert sunlight into food;
Remove imprecise or over-generalized vocabulary, such as like, stuff, a
lot, thing, very, something, everything, always, never, you know, whatever,
it (with no clear antecedent);
Remove unnecessary repetition; and
Remove emotional responses to content. Rather than, I liked this book,
determine what you liked about it. What were the specific criteria that determined whether or not you liked it? Did it have a fast-paced plot, welldeveloped characters, or an unusual theme? If so, write, This book is one
of the best releases this spring because it has a fast-paced plot, welldeveloped characters, and an unusual theme. Continue by explaining
and illustrating this thesis in the body of the essay with examples from the
book.
There are very few exceptions to these guidelines, and it is important for students
to learn them early and follow them consistently.
Compose Yourself!
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What Not to Worry About

Non-language arts teachers often become nervous when they learn they are
supposed to teach writing. This attitude is based on a misunderstanding of what
writing is. Since writing is thinking made visible, educators in all subject areas
teach thinking and all should also use and teach analytical writing. This is critically different than narrative, creative, or literary writing. It is not a science
teachers job to nurture the next James Joyce, but to develop students who can
clearly read, think, and write science.
What does this mean? Non-language arts teachers are not responsible for
teaching the following:
Grammar, usage, mechanics, and spelling (except for subject-specific
vocabulary): It is only fair to students to circle any mistakes a teacher sees
in their grammar, usage, mechanics, and spelling so they have some
sense of how much work they have to do. However, non-language arts
teachers do not have to read closely for it (if a few mistakes are missed, so
be it), do not have to factor it into the grade, and do not have to teach it
in their classroom.
Style and voice: Good expository writing exudes style and voice; however,
subject-area teachers are not responsible for teaching these skills. The
ability to write clearly with style across the curriculum comes with practice,
combined with spiraled instruction in the language arts classroom.
Literary narrative writing: Artistic, creative writing has no place in the
other subject areas. See the discussion of intellectual creativity versus artistic creativity earlier in this section.
Compose Yourself!
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That said, what are non-language teachers responsible for when teaching thinking and writing? They are responsible for those elements of writing that reflect
thinking in their subject areas:
Thesis statements: Students need modeling and direct instruction in the
kinds of thesis statements that are appropriate in each subject area. This is
how students learn the higher-order thinking they will need to succeed
in that subject area.
Structure and organization: What supporting evidence is relevant to the
thesis? How is it communicated in that subject area? How does one judge
the appropriateness and relevance of supporting ideas and evidence in
a particular subject area?
Transition words and phrases: Transition language communicates to the
reader how the ideas are related and how they connect to other knowledge and disciplines. Therefore, transitions need to be explicitly taught
and then required in student writing throughout the disciplines.
Content and content area vocabulary: What are the knowledge and
facts upon which students will base their thinking and writing? Of course,
subject-area teachers are responsible for determining how best to teach
this to students.
Please remember, when educators are learning to teach something new and
when students are learning a new skill, it takes much longer than everyone would
like to become fluent in the process, and the quality of the initial products may
leave something to be desired.
Perhaps an analogy will help. Think about anything new you recently learned to
do. For me, it was learning how to knit. At first, each stepcasting on, knitting
each row, etc.took forever, the product looked a bit forlorn, and I despaired
as to whether or not I would ever be able to knit without consulting the directions
and concentrating intensely. It will be some time before I can knit while chatting
Compose Yourself!
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with friends or watching T.V. Similarly, learning to teach writing and thinking will
take time. The good news is that as teachers and students become more proficient, less instructional time will be required, and student products will improve
significantlyespecially if all teachers in the school require their students to write.
And the truth is that actively requiring and teaching analytical writing within the
subject areas is the only way to both teach and measure the quality of students
critical, high-order thinking.
However, to improve knowledge of general grammar and usage rules, the following resources are helpful:
English Grammar For Dummies by Geraldine Woods (also available: English Grammar Workbook For Dummies, a companion book with quizzes
and worksheets)
Elements of Style by Strunk & White
Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing by Mignon Fogarty
The Grammar Devotional: Daily Tips for Successful Writing from Grammar
Girl by Mignon Fogarty
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation: An Easy-to-Use Guide with
Clear Rules, Real-World Examples, and Reproducible Quizzes by Jane
Straus
Mechanically Inclined: Building Grammar, Usage, and Style into Writers
Workshop by Jeff Anderson
The Compose Yourself! Mantra

Writing is thinking made visible. Not writing clearly means one is not thinking
clearly. Analysis is a learned skill. Everyone can learn how to do it with the right
instruction. Following the steps in this guide will lead to disciplined thinking and
writing.
Compose Yourself!
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OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS
That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the
nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do so is increased.
Heber J. Grant
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a

habit.
Aristotle
This resource is best used by a teacher (or parent) to guide students as they learn
how to think and write analytically. It is meant to inform the academic writing
students are assigned in school, not to require additional work. The goal is to help
students improve their analytical, academic writing (that is, expository writing)
and to bolster subject-area instruction. Compose Yourself! will benefit all sixth,
seventh, eighth, and ninth grade teachers, parents, and students. In addition, it
will improve the skills of those tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grade students who
are struggling writers as well as those who persistently underachieve.
Each adult/student pair or class can begin by reading each section together
and spending a day or two looking for examples in their own reading and previous writing. Dont rush it.
For example, read the section on Text Structures and then examine any analytical, expository writing at home or school to determine its text structure (e.g.,
textbooks, newspapers, magazines, non-fiction books, and/or prior analytical essays). If the student has an analytical writing assignment pending, ask which text
structure would be the most logical way to organize the written response.
Compose Yourself!
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Go through each section this way. Again, after reading the section on Thesis
Statements, check any expository texts in the classroom or home to determine if
they include a strong thesis statement and what it is.
Each section is purposely short so that the teacher and student can concentrate
on learning one concept at a time. It will take a while for students to learn to integrate them seamlessly. In fact, the only way it will happen is to engage in the
cycle of practice, feedback (grades, comments, peer editing, etc.), practice,
and more feedback. There is no way to learn to do it well immediately. However,
following the steps outlined in this guide will certainly speed up the process significantly.
Finally, focus on an actual class assignment. The content of the assigned writing/
thinking could be anythinghistory, literature, science, math, art, healthbut
the organization will, for the time being, look like what is outlined here. Students
should use the Toolbox section beginning on page 85 of this guide. They can follow the Order of Operations (on page 85) and transfer information from the appropriate Analysis Organizer to the writing template provided (on page 86).
Of course, structure and organization are not everything. It is critical that as students put their response together, they focus on transitional words and phrases
that best show the relationships between and among their ideas. Unusual connections or a nuanced understanding of the topic always makes for a stronger
text. However, without a coherent structure, even the most original thinker will
have a hard time communicating with others. Best of all, often the act of organizing the information actually helps the writer to see connections and develop a
nuanced understanding of the topic.
So practice away!
Compose Yourself!
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Periodic Supplements
In order to help students deepen their understanding of the connection between text structures, writing, and thinking, supplements to this basic guide will
be published periodically. This will keep the doses of instruction practical and digestible. Take it one step at a time, access the supplements as needed, and
strong thinkers and writers will develop.
Future supplements:
Idea combining (often referred to as sentence combining)
Integrating quotations into an essay
Summarizing expository writing
Summarizing narrative writing
Writing the perfect college admissions essay
Check www.lightbulblearning.net periodically for more news on release dates

and additional titles.
Compose Yourself!
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Notes
Compose Yourself!
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B EFORE W RITING B EGINS
Compose Yourself!
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Compose Yourself!
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TEXT STRUCTURES: ORGANIZING THINKING

Analysis is about breaking things into their component partsto their puzzle
piecesin order to better understand how to put them back together more effectively. It is possible to analyze ideas (democracy) or skills (how to throw a
ball). This guide provides easy steps to improve academic, analytical writing in
order to make it better.
Secondary teachers often work with students who are used to writing narratives.
Stories, made-up or real; descriptions; even poetry can be narrative. The personal narratives composed in elementary school, although not necessarily fiction, are written in the narrative form, just like fiction. However, very little academic writing is narrative and the academic writing that is narrative, such as
case studies, is designed to support an analytical argument.
Students in middle and high school need help structuring their analytical thinking
and writing as they are often expected to write about, explain, and analyze
fact-based conceptsconcepts they cant make up. The reason they are asked
to do this is so they can learn and then apply these concepts to future learning.
These are the nuggets of knowledge they will use to build their future!
Analytical non-fiction pieces can be divided into six different text structures:
Compare-Contrast: A compare-contrast essay focuses on the similarities
and differences between at least two objects or ideas. The purpose is to
develop the relationship between them and, in the process, explain both
in detail.
Cause-Effect: A cause-effect essay first presents a reason or motive for an
event, situation, or trend and then explains its result or consequence.
Compose Yourself!
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Problem-Solution: A problem-solution essay informs readers about a complex, real-world, philosophical problem (or related problems), followed by
actions that could be taken to remedy the problem.
Concept-Definition (descriptive writing): A concept-definition essay provides a personal, but still factually complete and correct, understanding
of a particular concept or term. The essay conveys what research and
experience have taught the writer (what the concept is not is often also
part of the definition).
Goal-Action-Outcome (process or procedural writing): A goal-actionoutcome essay either tells the reader how to do something or describes
how something is done. Math explanations and science lab reports are
good examples of goal-action-outcome writing.
Proposition-Support (persuasive writing): A proposition-support essay uses
logic, reason, and supporting data to argue that one idea is more legitimate than another. The argument must include sound reasoning and reliable external evidence, stating facts, giving logical reasons, using examples, and quoting reliable experts and original sources.
All analytical non-fiction, in all subject areas, falls into these six categories. In a
longer non-fiction work, such as a book, the author will mix things up, using text
structures within text structures. Only when analytical writing includes case studies to illustrate analytical conclusions does it use the narrative structure.
BUT FIRST: Learn how to use each text structure by itself.
Compose Yourself!
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THE TOPIC: THE BIG QUESTION
All writing begins with a topicthe broad idea the author will address. In order to
practice thinking and writing, we need a BIG question, or topicsubject matter
that is especially interesting to the writer. Thats the first puzzle piece. How about
this:
What really caused the loss of life on the Titanic and how have such
catastrophes been avoided since?
With all the interest generated by the movie Titanic, the story of the luxury liner
has been reborn. But did the disaster really unfold the way it is portrayed in the
movie? Lets thoroughly research this topic while applying critical thinking and, in
the process, develop exemplary analytical writing skills.
Similarly, there are myriad BIG questions related to learning in every subject:
A science teacher might ask: How can the school reduce its carbon footprint?
An English teacher might ask: Does Odysseus fulfill the role of an ancient
Greek hero?
An art teacher might ask: How do your color choices affect the tone and
mood of a piece?
A history/social studies teacher might ask: What were the major causes of
the fall of the Roman Empire?
The good news is that no matter what the subject matter, the rules governing
good analytical writing never change!
Compose Yourself!
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CAUTION: Most of the time topics are phrased as questions, but not always. Sometimes teachers use words like explain, analyze, describe, etc. For example:
Explain how an author communicates ideas using symbolism. It is not a question exactly, but it is a vast topic that the writer will need to narrow down in a
thesis statement in order to address it effectively.
There is not enough information yet to make a decision about which text structure to use for the Titanic topic. However, lets take a minute to think about
which text structure would be most helpful for that case as well as each of the
additional topics suggested. No final decision is necessary until after the brainstorming and research steps are completed.
Compose Yourself!
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POSSIBLE TEXT STRUCTURES

TOPIC
POSSIBLE TEXT STRUCTURE
What really caused

the loss of life on the
Titanic and how have
such catastrophes
been avoided since?
Either a proposition-support (provide an opinion, based

on research and experience, and support it with evidence and examples) OR straight cause-effect
How can the school

reduce its carbon
footprint?
Problem-solution OR proposition-support (depending on

how much the focus is on explaining the problem of
global warming)
How do color choices

affect the tone and
mood of a piece?
Proposition-support OR concept-definition (depending

on whether the focus is on the concept of color [concept-definition] or the development of mood [proposition-support])
Does Odysseus fulfill

the role of an ancient
Greek hero?
Concept-definition (define concept of an ancient

Greek hero using Odysseus as an example or nonexample)
What were the major

causes of the fall of
the Roman Empire?
This one is easycause-effect!
Compose Yourself!
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EXAMPLES OF TOPICS FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE

TEXT STRUCTURE
DEFINITION
EXAMPLES OF TOPICS
Compare-contrast how
CompareContrast
A compare-contrast essay
focuses on the similarities and
differences between at least two
objects or ideas. The purpose is
to develop the relationship
between them and, in the
process, explain both in detail.
plants and animals

respirate.
Compare-contrast
Oedipus and Creon as
leaders.
Compare-contrast the
major elements in Christianity and Buddhism.
CauseEffect
A cause-effect essay first presents

a reason or motive for an event,
situation, or trend and then explains its result or consequence.
How and why do plants

grow?
What should be done

about global warming?
ProblemSolution
A problem-solution essay informs

readers about a complex, realworld, philosophical problem (or
related problems), followed by
actions that could be taken to
remedy the problem.
Compose Yourself!
How and why do totalitarian governments form?
How can the Federal Reserve help keep economic

crises from spinning out of
control?
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EXAMPLES OF TOPICS FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE (CONT.)

TEXT STRUCTURE
DEFINITION
ConceptDefinition
In a concept-definition essay, the

writer provides a personal, but still
factually complete and correct,
understanding of a particular
concept or term. The essay conveys what research and experience have taught the writer
(what the concept is not is
often also part of the definition).
(descriptive writing)
GoalActionOutcome
(process or
procedural writing)
PropositionSupport
(persuasive writing)
Compose Yourself!
A goal-action-outcome essay
either tells the reader how to do
something or describes how
something is done. Math explanations and science lab reports
are good examples of goalaction-outcome writing.
A proposition-support essay uses

logic, reason, and supporting
data to argue that one idea is
more legitimate than another.
The argument must include
sound reasoning and reliable
external evidence, stating facts,
giving logical reasons, using
examples, and quoting reliable
experts and original sources.
EXAMPLES OF TOPICS
Provide a detailed definition of democracy.
What is figurative
language?
What is the Greek heroic
ideal?
A science lab report

An explanation of how to
solve a complex, multistep math problem(s).
A business proposal
A fitness plan
Are modern values and

morals more conservative
than those exhibited in the
life and times of Henry VIII?
Is racism still a problem in
this country?
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BRAINSTORMING I: THE ART OF ASKING QUESTIONS
Finding more pieces to the puzzle requires brainstorming; that is, thinking about it.
When brainstorming, ask questions that can be answered with research. Try to
break apart and define the terms in the big question. Think about what questions
both you and other interested people might have. In the Titanic example, here
are some questions we might ask and answer:
What really caused the loss of life on
the Titanic and how have such catas-
Questions like.
trophes been avoided since?

Why did the other ships in the area not hit the icebergs?
Why did the Titanic get so close that it hit the iceberg?
What was the exact sequence of events?
Is 2.5 hours a long or short time for such a large ship to sink?
Could the iceberg have been avoided?
Did Captain Smith take any precautions?
Is there any evidence from the bottom of the sea to help explain what
happened?
Could the loss of life have been avoided?
Was the sinking just bad luck?
Why did it take so long to rescue the survivors?
Could any ship in the area have reached them sooner?
Why were there not enough lifeboats for everyone on board?
Based on how it sank, did ship builders and engineers learn anything new?
Was the Titanic really as strong as the owner said it was?
Were any changes made in maritime law and procedure after the accident?
Compose Yourself!
page 24
RESEARCH: BEING A DETECTIVE
Not all research takes months or weeks to compile. Sometimes research is simply
looking up unfamiliar terms and finding evidence from books or articles read in
class to support an opinion. Other times, research takes much longer. However,
all analytical writing includes at least a little bit of research. There is no way to sit
down and write a decent essay from beginning to end without having to find
and check facts and quotesthats research. While a writers opinions or observations may be part of the answer, they cannot stand alone.
Now, we need to find the answers to our questions by doing the following:
defining any unfamiliar terms;
jotting down any already known answers to questions plus any information
that that requires the writers own specific point of view; and/or
going to the library, web, books, magazines to find reliable expert opinions
and research on the topic.
The writer must support his opinions with evidence from others (authors, scientists,
other reliable experts, eye-witnesses, etc.)his opinion alone is not sufficient.
What really
caused the loss of
life on the Titanic
and how have
such catastrophes been
avoided since?
Compose Yourself!
Resources found (reported in MLA format):

Ballard, Robert. Dr. Robert Ballard's Titanic. New York: Barnes &
Noble, 2007.
Matsen, Brad. Titanics Last Secrets. New York: Twelve, 2008.
Brown, David. The Last Log of the Titanic. Crawfordsville IN: International Marine, a Division of McGraw-Hill, 2001.
Lord, Walter. A Night to Remember. New York: Holt, 2005.
ed. Winocour, Jack. The Story of the Titanic as Told by its Survi-
page 25
vors. Mineola, NY: Dover, 1960.

Multiple Authors. "Encyclopedia Titanica". 5-April-2010
<http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/>.
Behe, George. "Titanic Inquiry Project". Titanic Inquiry Project. 5April-2010 <http://www.titanicinquiry.org/>.
Multiple Authors. "Titanic". Wikipedia. 5-April-2010
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RMS_Titanic > http://www.uscgiip.org/
Multiple Authors. "International Ice Patrol". United States Coast
Guard. 5-April-2010 <http://www.uscg-iip.org/cms/ >.
Why did other ships in the area not hit the iceberg?
General maritime custom at that time was to steam full speed until ice
was actually sighted. There is always ice in the North Atlantic during April,
so the condition was not unusual. At that time, ships communicated informally about ice and danger via telegraph, so all ships, including Titanic,
knew there was ice. Some ships (the Californian) actually stopped dead in
the water for the night because the captain thought it was too dangerous
to continue. Other ships slowed down. And some ships, including the Titanic, did nothing.
Why did the Titanic get so close that it hit the iceberg?
No one saw it in time. It was a very clear, calm night with no moon, which
actually makes it harder to see icebergs (no chop at the base). Once
seen, the officer at the wheel did try to turn the ship, but the ship was so
big and moved so slowly that it didnt clear the iceberg in time.
What was the exact sequence of events?

The ship sank in 2 hours and 23 minutes. Immediately after hitting the iceberg, most crew and passengers thought that there was minimal damage. About 20 minutes later, Captain Smith, the ships designer (Thomas
Andrews), and ships owner (J. Bruce Ismay) knew the ship would sink
Compose Yourself!
page 26
within an hour-and-a-half. They knew there were not enough lifeboats, so

to avoid a panic they never actually told the passengers what was occurring.
Is 2.5 hours a long or short time for such a large ship to sink?
It is extremely fast. No one thought the entire ship could sink so quickly.
Prior to the Titanic sinking, most large ships that foundered had stayed
afloat for a day or two before sinking, allowing passengers to be rescued.
Most people thought that large ships effectively acted as their own lifeboats until help could arrive.
Could the iceberg have been avoided?

In hindsight, yes. The binoculars used by the lookouts had been left behind
in Southampton, so only human observation was possible. Also, since Captain Smith knew there was ice, he could have reduced speed, which
would have given the ship more time to turn once the iceberg was
sighted.
Did Captain Smith take any precautions?

Yes, Captain Smith adjusted the Titanics course ten miles to the south to
avoid the ice he knew about. He ordered the lookouts to watch closely
for ice and he closed the forward engine room windows to prevent the
glare from interfering with the lookouts line of sight. The entire crew was
alerted to the possibility of ice. But the order to reduce the ships speed
was never given.
Is there any evidence from the bottom of the sea to help explain what happened?
Since the wreck of the Titanic was located in 1985, there has been a great
deal of on-going research. The most interesting piece of new data has
been the idea that the expansion joints on the Titanic (two flexible joints
Compose Yourself!
page 27
that allow the huge steel ship to flex in high seas) were a point of weakness and contributed to the breakup of the ship. Since the Titanic was the
largest ship ever built, even the engineers were not entirely certain their
strength calculations were correct. In addition, virtually the entire bottom
of the ship was found in August 2005 quite a distance from the main
wreck, indicating that it had peeled off on the surface and caused the Titanic to quickly sink.
Could the loss of life have been avoided?

Once it hit the iceberg, Titanic was doomed. If another ship had been
close enough to come to its rescue, then maybe the passengers and
crew could have been saved. But this was not to be. When the Titanic
struck the iceberg and no external rescue was forthcoming, it was inevitable that at least 1,000 people would die, because there were not
enough lifeboats. As it turned out, 1,500 people perished because what
lifeboats there were did not leave the ship completely full. Had the Californian been able to get there in time, some of those 1,500 might have
been saved, but the sinking happened so fast, many still would have died.
The water was below freezing (salt water has a lower freezing point than
regular water). Even with life jackets, no one could survive more than 15
minutes in water that frigid.
Was the sinking just bad luck?

Partly. Many, many things had to go wrong for such a large ship to sink so
quickly. The lookouts had no binoculars; the angle of impact was the
worst possible; the telegraph operator on the closest ship, the Californian,
went to bed a few minutes before the Titanics distress call; the Captain of
the Californian saw the flares from the Titanic but thought they were signal
flares because they were white, not red.
Compose Yourself!
page 28
Why did it take so long to rescue the survivors?

The telegraph operators on many of the ships in the area had gone to
bed. At that time there was no requirement that a telegraph operator be
on duty around the clock. However, even had operators been on duty,
few ships were close enough to reach the survivors in time (although there
is still disagreement as to the proximity of the Californian). The Carpathia
took about 4.5 hours to arrive on the scene.
Could any ship in the area have reached them sooner?

There is some controversy as to whether the Californian was close enough
to have rescued all aboard the Titanic. The evidence is contradictory.
Other than the possibility that the Californian might have helped, no other
ship was close enough.
Why were there not enough lifeboats for everyone on board?

The British Board of Trade established the rules for the number of lifeboats
required based on the gross tonnage of the ship, not the number of people the ship carried. The Titanic actually had more lifeboats than required,
but only enough for 52% of the people aboard.
Based on how it sank, did ship builders and engineers learn anything new?
Not until the wreck was located was there any definitive information. Even
then it was hard to determine what damage was the result of the iceberg
(that part of the ship is resting in about 20 feet of sludge at the bottom of
the ocean) and what was a result of the breakup. However, comparisons
with Titanics sister ship, Britannic (sunk by torpedo off the coast of a Greek
island during WWI), have definitively provided information about the expansion joint. Interestingly, it appears that the shipbuilder, Harlan & Wolff,
realized this possibility within a month of the sinking but kept it a secret so it
would not be held liable.
Compose Yourself!
page 29
Was the Titanic really as strong as the owner said it was?

Not really. The builder simply scaled up a smaller ship and was not certain
how the bigger, heavier ship would stress the materials. Some of the design elements of the ship, like its expansion joints, seemed to work on
smaller, less heavy ships but were already cracking on the Olympic (the
first sister ship of the Titanic) even before the Titanic set sail.
Were any changes made in maritime law and procedure after the accident?
Yes, in 1914 Britain hosted the first SOLAS (Safety of Life at Sea) Conference to craft new safety rules and regulations. The treaty that resulted
from this conference has been updated in the years since and is still in
force.
New lifeboat regulations and drills required
24-hour radio watch and uniform distress rockets instituted
International Ice Patrol created
Ship design changes
New speed regulations
Now there is enough information to decide which text structure to use for this
topic:
TOPIC
TEXT STRUCTURE
What really caused loss of life on the

Titanic and how have such catastrophes been avoided since?
Compose Yourself!
Because this topic is really about the

chain of events leading up to the sinking and how it helped change maritime regulations, this will be a causeeffect paper.
page 30
BRAINSTORMING II: GRAPHIC ORGANIZERS
Graphic organizers are simply a bridge to more organized writing. The critical
element is to learn how to use them to develop a thesis statement and to determine which of the six expository text structures is the most appropriate for the
topic.
Which graphic organizer to use depends on the text structure that most effectively conveys the ideas being discussed. Therefore, when the text structure for a
particular topic is initially unclear, the writer may have to first brainstorm as described in the Topic section before deciding which graphic organizer to use.
Once the appropriate text structure has been determined, or if the structure is
clear from the topic, the writer should transfer all collected information to an appropriate analysis organizer (see Toolbox section of this guide).
CAUTION: Writers should be aware that simply filling out a graphic organizer will
not magically result in the manifestation of a thesis statement. In fact, if a writer is
not intentional about developing a thesis statement, she often ends up with an
essay that is simply a list taken directly from the graphic organizer.
The following graphic will help to organize the analytical work:
Compose Yourself!
page 31
CHOOSING AN APPROPRIATE GRAPHIC ORGANIZER

CHOOSE
SELECT
APPROPRIATE
GRAPHIC
ORGANIZER
APPROPRIATE
TEXT STRUCTURE
CompareContrast
Analysis
Organizer
CompareContrast
Venn
Diagram
Double
Bubble Map
Cause-Effect
Cause-Effect
Analysis
Organizer
Multi-Flow Map
ConceptDefinition
Analysis
Organizer
Circle Map (for
ConceptDefinition
defining in context)
Tree Map (for

classifying and
grouping)
Brace Map (for
identifying
part/whole relationships)
Compose Yourself!
DEVELOP THESIS
STATEMENT
TRANSFER TO
WRITING
TEMPLATE
Thesis:
Summarize the
patterns and
relationships
between and
among the
similarities and
differences
See writing
template &
comparecontrast tip
sheet
Thesis:
Summarize the
patterns and
relationships
between and
among the
causes and
effects
See writing
template &
cause-effect
tip sheet
Thesis:
Define the
concept and
why it is important and summarize the
patterns and
relationships
between and
among the
information
See writing
template &
conceptdefinition tip
sheet
DRAFT,
EDIT,
FINAL
Remember
transition
language,
evidence &
editing
checklist
page 32
CHOOSING AN APPROPRIATE GRAPHIC ORGANIZER (CONT.)

CHOOSE
APPROPRIATE
GRAPHIC
ORGANIZER
SELECT
APPROPRIATE
TEXT STRUCTURE
Goal-ActionOutcome
Goal-ActionOutcome
Analysis
Organizer
Flow Map
PropositionSupport
PropositionSupport
Analysis
Organizer
Pro/Con Scale
ProblemSolution
ProblemSolution
Analysis
Organizer
DEVELOP THESIS
STATEMENT
TRANSFER TO
WRITING
TEMPLATE
Thesis:
Clearly explain
goal and (if
appropriate)
reason for goal
See writing
template &
goal-actionoutcome tip
sheet
Thesis:
Summarize
exactly what is
believed to be
true and why
See writing
template &
propositionsupport tip
sheet
Thesis:
Summarize the
problem and
why it needs to
be dealt with
See writing
template &
problemsolution tip
sheet
DRAFT,
EDIT,
FINAL
Remember
transition
language,
evidence &
editing checklist
Resources for Graphic Organizers

Text Structures Graphic Organizers (Free)
http://www.cheney268.com/learning/organizers/TextStructures.htm
Thinking Maps
Thinking Maps, Inc.
http://www.thinkingmaps.com/htthinkmap.php3
Analytic Processes Frameworks
Tregoe Education Forum
http://www.tregoe.org/work/overview-analytic-process.php
The next page demonstrates a basic multi-flow map (from Thinking Maps, Inc.)
completed for the Titanic topic:
Compose Yourself!
page 33
SAMPLE GRAPHIC ORGANIZER (BASIC MULTI-FLOW MAP)

Causes/Reasons
Event/
Situation
enough lifeboats for all
binoculars
people aboard and drills
Weather calm, clear, no
in how to use them
moon, hard to see
Angle of impact
disastrous
Engineering failures:
Effects/Results
Regulations to ensure
Lookouts didnt have
Didnt turn in time
TITANIC
24-hour radio watch inTitanic sinks
tegrated into the chain
on maiden
of command on board
voyage,
ships
1,500 people
die
Expansion joints
Uniform red distress

rockets for all ships on
the high seas
Double bottom
International Ice Patrol
Speeding through known
established in the North
ice belt
Atlantic
Telegraph officers on
Ship design changes
other ships not on duty

24/7had gone to bed
Speed regulations when

ice present
Not enough lifeboats

Flares not the right
color (no official color
for distress rockets, but
red generally used)
Compose Yourself!
page 34
G ETTING S TARTED :
T HE P IECES OF AN
A NALYTICAL E SSAY
Compose Yourself!
page 35
Compose Yourself!
page 36
THESIS STATEMENT: IF NOTHING ELSE, LEARN THIS!
First comes brainstorming and initial research. Next is the thesis or thesis statement. The thesis statement is the MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF AN ESSAY. It is an arguable opinion, based on evidence. Unfortunately, just filling out a graphic organizer will not automatically generate a thesis statement. The writer needs to examine the ideas on the graphic organizer and summarize any relationships or
patterns between and among them and explain what they mean in the thesis
statement.
The multi-flow map at the end of the last section shows that many of the causes
of the Titanic catastrophe were common for all ships in the area: calm, clear,
dark seas and skies, ice in the area. So why did the Titanic hit an iceberg and
sink? It looks like human error, and lots of it! Lost binoculars, faulty engineering,
telegraph operators off duty, and not enough lifeboats. In summary, the causes
of the Titanic disaster were multiple human errors.
Now for the effects of the loss of life. No one could bring back the dead, but
maritime officials were focused on how they could make transport by sea safer.
Official investigative commissions in the U.S. and Britain analyzed what went
wrong to make sure it wouldnt happen again. They instituted new rules about
the number of lifeboats required, speed limits when sailing through known ice,
new rules about telegraph operations, reengineered ships, and standardized distress rockets. To summarize, they improved and standardized safety equipment
and procedures.
With that thinking done, here is a possible thesis statement:
The loss of life on the Titanic was due to profound and repeated
human error and resulted in improved and standardized emergency equipment and procedures on the high seas.
Compose Yourself!
page 37
Someone else might come to a different explanation about why the Titanic went
down and how such wrecks have since been avoided. But this is this writers
opinion based on his research and questioning. Eventually he will have to
prove his point, providing evidence from research to logically support this thesis.
The thesis statement is the most critical element of an essay. A writer MUST develop the thesis statement before doing anything else because it drives everything that follows. The writer cannot figure out supporting evidence unless she
knows what she is supporting!
A thesis statement CANNOT be wishy-washy. Pick a side. Odysseus is either a hero

or he is not, based on the definition of hero presented in the essay. Do not try to
argue both sides. A thesis must be specific.
NOT A THESIS: Odysseus is sometimes a hero and sometimes not. Create hero
criteria, and then decide whether or not Odysseus fits the criteria. Argue
one side, not both.
POSSIBLE THESIS: The ancient Greek hero was a morally ambiguous figure who un-
derwent an ordeal in which he struggled against the fear of death.

Based on this definition, Odysseus does not qualify as a hero in the
Greek sense.
CAUTION: After doing research to support the thesis, a writer might have reason to
change his mind. When that happens he needs to revise or change the thesis.
Compose Yourself!
page 38
Thats OK. If the writer no longer believes in the thesis, there is no point in trying to
convince others.
The following page extends the basic multi-flow map into a Cause-Effect Analysis
Organizer, taking into account the need to synthesize information in order to develop a thesis statement. There is an Analysis Organizer for each text structure in
the Toolbox section of this guide.
Compose Yourself!
page 39
SAMPLE CAUSE-EFFECT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER

Causes/Reason
Event/Situation
Lookouts didnt have

binoculars
Weather calm, clear,
no moon, hard to see
Didnt turn in time
Angle of impact
disastrous
Titanic sinks on
maiden voyage,
1,500 people die
Engineering failures:
Expansion joints
Double bottom
TITANIC
Effects/Results
Regulations to ensure
enough lifeboats for
all people aboard and
drills in how to use
them
24-hour radio watch
integrated into the
chain of command onboard ships
Uniform distress
rockets for all ships
on the high seas
Speeding through
known ice belt
International Ice
Patrol in the North
Atlantic
Telegraph officers on
other ships not on
duty 24/7
Ship design changes
Not enough lifeboats
Speed regulation
Flares not the right

color
Summary: Profound and repeated
human error caused the sinking of

the Titanic.
Summary: The sinking of the
Titanic resulted in improved and

standardized emergency equipment
and procedures.
Possible Thesis: The loss of life on the Titanic was due to profound and
repeated human error and resulted in improved and standardized emergency

equipment and procedures on the high seas.
Compose Yourself!
page 40
EXAMPLES OF TOPICS & THESIS STATEMENTS FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE
TEXT STRUCTURE
TOPIC
SAMPLE THESIS STATEMENT
CompareContrast
Compare and contrast the approaches

of Malcolm X and
Martin Luther King,
Jr. to the AfricanAmerican struggle
for civil rights in the
1950s and 60s.
While both Malcolm X and Martin Luther King,

Jr. believed that racism and discrimination in the
U.S. needed to be eradicated, they held opposing
points of view on how to convince white Americans to overcome their long-held beliefs.
How did decisions at

the end of World
War I affect the likelihood of a lasting
peace in Europe?
Although the desire for revenge was understandable, the terms of the Treaty of Versailles, as
dictated by the Allies, brutally punished Germany after World War I. Unfortunately, these
terms lead directly to the rise of the Nazi Party
in the 1930s and ultimately the breakout of
World War II in 1939.
How should
healthcare in the
United States be
reformed?
The healthcare crisis in America has generated

many suggestions for reform and a great deal of
disagreement; however, one possible solution
stands out. Treat healthcare like the necessity
it is, with all the rules and regulations required
of utilities like electrical, cable, water, and gas
companies.
CauseEffect
ProblemSolution
Compose Yourself!
page 41
EXAMPLES OF TOPICS & THESIS STATEMENTS FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE (CONT.)
TEXT STRUCTURE
ConceptDefinition
(descriptive writing)
GoalActionOutcome
(process or procedural writing)
PropositionSupport
(persuasive writing)
SAMPLE THESIS STATEMENTS
TOPICS
Does Odysseus
fulfill the role of
an ancient
Greek hero?
Because the traditional ancient Greek hero is a

morally ambiguous figure who undergoes an ordeal
in which he struggles against the fear of death
but ultimately dies, Odysseus does not qualify as
a hero in the Greek sense.
Develop a
personal fitness
plan.
Because fitness and strength are critical when

playing contact sports, especially varsity football, this fitness plan will focus on improving
cardiovascular endurance and strength and
improving nutrition.
Is playing video
games detrimental to academic
achievement?
Contrary to popular belief, playing video games

actually enhances positive academic behaviors,
honing decision-making/problem-solving skills,
persistence, and the understanding of
consequences.
Compose Yourself!
page 42
SUPPORTING IDEAS & SUPPORTING EVIDENCE: WHATS THE DIFFERENCE?
After establishing her thesis statement, a writer needs to incorporate at least

three supporting ideas into the essay to prove her point. This is the SECOND MOST
IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF AN ESSAY. Without solid evidence, all that exists is an unsupported opinion, convincing no one. Although every writer should have an opinion (sometimes referred to as an hypothesis), it is not enough to have only an
opinion.
First, just as patterns and relationships are summarized on a graphic organizer in

order to create an effective thesis statement, a writer also has to summarize the
evidence gathered in order to generate supporting idea statements. These
statements do not provide the actual supporting evidence; they simply summarize it. Always choose the most important or illustrative evidence from the graphic
organizer. It is seldom possible or desirable to use all of the evidence gathered.
Begin paragraphs with these supporting idea statements (sometimes referred to

as topic sentences) that summarize the point being made. Then elaborate on
these summary sentences with specific details and outside evidence, and elaborate in the clearest, most sensible way possible. After summarizing the evidence
(supporting idea), the writer must then provide the actual evidence gathered
during the research phase (supporting evidence).
First, create topic sentences that summarize the supporting evidence:
CAUSES Example #1
Supporting Idea:
Captain Smith did not reduce Titanics speed, even though he

knew there was ice in the area and many other ships had ei-
Compose Yourself!
page 43
ther stopped for the night or slowed down significantly.

Kinds of Supporting Evidence/Detailed Examples Needed:
What was the specific chain of events and how did Captain
Smith respond at each step? Are there quotes we can use to
support our point? Evidence from surviving witnesses?
CAUSES Example #2
Supporting Idea:
At the time of the collision, no one knew that there were

significant problems with the strength of the expansion
joints.
Explain in detail what an expansion joint is. Why was it important in this case? Why didnt the engineers know better?
CAUSES Example #3
Supporting Idea:
Once the Captain realized the ship was mortally wounded, he

instituted emergency procedures: SOS telegraphs and distress
rockets, but they were ultimately unsuccessful.
Explain in detail how these procedures did not result in rescue. Look for quotes and evidence from survivors.
Compose Yourself!
page 44
CAUSES Example #4
Supporting Idea:
The last option for saving peoples lives was to put them in
lifeboats. Had there been enough lifeboats to hold everyone,
this might have worked.
Explain why there were not enough lifeboats. What were the
regulations at the time? Was the White Star Line negligent?
Why or why not?
EFFECTS Example #1
Supporting Idea:
The International Ice Patrol (IIP) was established and new

rules agreed upon concerning how ships should deal with ice.
What is the IIP? What were the specific rules put in place?
How have they helped make shipping safer? Show statistics.
EFFECTS Example #2
Supporting Idea:
The expansion joints of large ships were redesigned. The first

expansion joints to be retrofitted were those of the Britan-
nic, Titanics sister ship.

When/how did this come to light? What were the redesigns?
Compose Yourself!
page 45
EFFECTS Example #3
Supporting Idea:
After the sinking, new emergency communications regulations

were put into effect.
What were they specifically? Explain.
EFFECTS Example #4
Supporting Idea:
The most recognizable change after the sinking was the new
international requirement that there be enough lifeboats to
evacuate all people aboard and that passengers and crew be
drilled in how to use them.
Explain the specifics of the change. What are the effects

today?
Once the topic sentences summarizing the supporting ideas are in place, then
the writer can focus on organizing the evidence, collecting the details, and explanations necessary to verify the assertions. Supporting evidence can be any or
all of the following, depending on what is appropriate for the topic:
Someone elses research;
Datagraphs, charts, tables, etc.;
Logically argued opinions of reliable experts;
Personal accounts of eye-witnesses;
Similar current or historical events;
Compose Yourself!
page 46
Mathematical proofs; and/or

Quotes from a text.
In the case of the Titanic example, we have found the following evidence to
support our topic sentences.
CAUSES Example #1
Supporting Idea:
Captain Smith knew there was ice in the area and many
other ships had either stopped for the night or slowed down
significantly.
Specific Supporting Evidence/Detailed Example:
Had the telegraph officers passed on all the ice warnings, it

would have been clear to the officers that there was a huge
field of ice some 78 miles long directly ahead of the Titanic.
(Titanic. p. 20) Captain Smith knew of the existence of some
ice because he had discussed it with the ships owner, Bruce
Ismay, in front of passengers earlier in the day. (Titanic, pp.
17-18)
Although it was customary, at that time, for ships to travel
at full speed until a berg was actually sighted. (Titanic p.
19) many other ships in the area had slowed significantly or,
in the case of the ship closest to the Titanic, the Californian,
stopped for the night.
Compose Yourself!
page 47
CAUSES Example #2
Supporting Idea:
At the time of the collision, no one knew that there were

significant problems with the strength of the expansion
joints.
Expansion joints are slight gaps in the upper hull of a large

ship that allow it to flex as it travels through waves and
troughs. Andrews, the ships designer, knew that the hull
girder would have to be strong enough to span the crests of
two or more waves, flex at the ends, and twist in several directions at the same timebut not break. (Secrets, p. 99)
The ship designers had no idea whether Olympic and Titanic
were strong enough to hold together at sea. [they] simply
scaled up the hull of Oceanic and smaller ships. (Secrets,
pp. 237-38) The result was a flawed ocean liner. Research
has shown that the expansion joint under the third funnel
was a critically weak point in the ship. (Secrets, p. 246)
Had the expansion joints been stronger or had the ship been
engineered differently altogether, the Titanic would have
floated for many more hours, allowing other ships to come to
the rescue. As the incoming water weighed down the center
of the ship, the expansion joints failed catastrophically, folding in on themselves, and causing the ship to quickly break
apart. The laws of strength and buoyancy that had inspired
[Andrews] his entire life doomed Titanic. Thousands of tons of
seawater would quickly outweigh the ability of the ships hull
to support it. (Secrets, 166)
Compose Yourself!
page 48
CAUSES Example #3
Supporting Idea:
Once the Captain realized the ship was mortally wounded, he

instituted emergency procedures: SOS telegraphs and distress
rockets, but they were ultimately unsuccessful.
Ships telegraph officers were employed by the Marconi Company, were not part of the official chain of command on
board ship, and did not work 24/7. The Marconi wireless radio operators, werepaid to relay messages to and from the
passengers, they were not focused on relaying such "nonessential" ice messages to the bridge. (Ballards Titanic, p.
20) The telegraph officer on the Californian, the closest ship
to the Titanic, had gone to bed only five minutes before Ti-
tanic sent her first distress call.

Captain Smith also ordered the crew to start firing distress
rockets. At that time many ships still used signal flares and
there was no standardized color for distress rockets. Though
most seamen recognized red flares to mean distress, the Ti-
tanic had only white rockets. These were mistaken by the

Californian to be either celebratory or communications flares.
CAUSES Example #4
Supporting Idea:
The last option for saving peoples lives was to put them in
lifeboats. Had there been enough lifeboats to hold everyone,
this might have worked.
Compose Yourself!
page 49
The British Board of Trade required only that any ship over
10,000 tonshad to carry sixteen lifeboats [approximately
960 peoplethe Titanic carried 2200 passengers and crew].
(Secrets, p. 101) This regulation was dependant on the tonnage of the ship, not the number of people it carried. When
she sailed the Titanic actually carried more lifeboats than
the [regulations] required. (Titanic, p. 22)
Titanic had 20 lifeboats of three different types:

Lifeboats 1 and 2: emergency wooden cutters (40 persons each)
Lifeboats 3 to 16: wooden lifeboats (65 persons each)
Lifeboats A, B, C, and D: Englehardt "collapsible" lifeboats
(47 persons each)
"Titanic's life saving appliances". British Wreck Commissioner's Inquiry.
1912-07-30.
On the Titanic Harland & Wolff had included the new Welin
lifeboat davits (crane-like devices used to raise and lower
lifeboats). So the ship could have carried on board up to 48
lifeboats, enough for 2880 people. However, when it came
time to provision the boat, Ismay decided 16 wooden lifeboats
and four collapsible boats would be enough boats to ferry
passengers to a rescue ship. The [Titanic] should surely be
able stay afloat long enough for help to arrive. Why clutter the boat deck promenade with three dozen more boats
than the law required? (Secrets, p. 104) Thus, even if the
existing lifeboats had been filled to capacity before they
were launched, over 1,000 people still would have died.
Compose Yourself!
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EFFECTS Example #1
Supporting Idea:
(Transition from causes to effects) The sheer dimensions of the
Titanic disaster created sufficient public reaction on both

sides of the Atlantic to prod reluctant governments into action, producing the first Safety of Life at Sea (SOLAS) convention in 1914. The purpose of the SOLAS treaty was to
ensure that in the event of a catastrophe at sea passengers
and crew have the greatest chance of survival. (IIP web
site)
The first order of business of SOLAS was to establish the International Ice Patrol (IIP) and agree to new rules concerning how ships would cope with ice.
The IIP began the air reconnaissance of the shipping lanes in

the North Atlantic that continues today. Its role is to investigate and them communicate ice conditions. In addition, when
ice is reported by the IIP, ships are required to proceed at
moderate speed or alter course. (IIP web site).
EFFECTS Example #2
Supporting Idea:
The expansion joints of large ships were redesigned. The retrofitted expansion joints and steel reinforcement on the Bri-
tannic was completed after Titanic sank.

During the summer of 2006, divers explored the Britannic

where it rests on the bottom of the Aegean Sea. They con-
Compose Yourself!
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firmed that Harland & Wolff had significantly changed the

expansion joint design on Britannic.
That the company didnt announce this fact to the world is
testament to its fear of being sued by the families of the
victims of the Titanic disaster. The ships designers and builders decided on their own to build Britannic with a double
hull, and redesign the expansion joint and other weak points
in the ships. There was no law that required them to do that.
Titanic had perfectly conformed to the regulations of the

British Board of Trade. (Secrets, p. 241)
EFFECTS Example #3
Supporting Idea:
Also at the SOLAS convention, new maritime communications

regulations were put into effect.
Ships were required to have a telegraph operator on duty

around the clock who reported directly to the Captain. Also
required were red rockets to be used only in cases of distress
and which must be interpreted as a distress signal by all
ships in sight. (IIP web site)
EFFECTS Example #4
Supporting Idea:
The most recognizable change after the sinking was the significant new lifeboat requirements, which were specifically
crafted to respond to those aspects of the Titanic disaster
that resulted in unnecessary injury and death.
Compose Yourself!
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The most visible change after the Titanic disaster was the
new the SOLAS regulation that required that all ships, passenger and cargo, have enough lifeboats for all souls on
board, plus rafts for an additional 25%. In addition, all ships
must have a public address system. Titanic did not have one,
so most of the passengers had no idea what was happening as
the ship went down.
On the Titanic, there had been no emergency drills upon sailing. Neither had the crew been properly trained to load and
lower full lifeboats and no one knew which lifeboats he had
been assigned to. SOLAS now requires that Abandon Ship
and Fire Onboard drills must take place weekly on passenger ships and that there be regular and ongoing crew training.
Evacuation chutes like those used on airplanes were developed and are now required to assist in the loading of the
lifeboats.
Many Titanic passengers died of hypothermia and exposure,
especially those who had become wet for one reason or another. As a result, SOLAS requires that the lifeboats on
ships that sail the North Atlantic must be enclosed in order
to protect survivors from the cold and weather. (IIP web
site)
Compose Yourself!
page 53
SUPPORTING IDEAS CONTINUED: THE RULE OF THREE EXPLAINED
Write as many paragraphs as needed to prove the point being made in the
thesis.
The general rule of thumb is that a writer needs at least three solid supporting
ideas to make a convincing argument, so there should be at least three body
paragraphs. Because it takes three of anything to indicate a pattern, any fewer
than three strong supporting ideas means the thesis is weak and lacks support.
However, it may take more than a paragraph to fully explain each piece of supporting evidence. If that is the case, take all the space needed.
Many people in a variety of professions use this rule. For example, journalists need
three credible sources to confirm a story before they can print it; otherwise they
can be sued for libel. Scientists must replicate an experiment with the same exact results three times before the scientific community will accept the conclusions as valid. Lawyers follow this rule when arguing cases in front of a judge, as
do preachers when composing sermons.
REMEMBER: A writer needs at least three relevant ideas to support a thesis. Each
individual paragraph (or group of related paragraphs) should focus on one of
these. Do not mix up the ideas; it confuses the reader.
Compose Yourself!
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THE STATEMENT OF STRUCTURE: THE ROAD MAP
Now that we have a thesis and (at least) three supporting ideas, its time to
summarize for the reader what those ideas are. The statement of structure tells
the reader the general nature of the supporting ideas that will be addressed in
detail in the body of the essay as well as the order in which they will be introduced.
The body of the essay goes into more detail, of course, but a writer needs to provide the reader with a map of the journey. In the Titanic example, the statement
of structure is underline:
The loss of life on the Titanic was due to profound and repeated
human error and resulted in improved and standardized emergency
equipment and procedures on the high seas.
In this case the statement of structure is implied; that is, it is dealt with within the
thesis statement. A statement of structure can be implicit or explicit. An implicit
statement of structure is communicated within the thesis statement. In the Titanic
example, the reader knows the first examples in the body of the essay will address the human error and then the essay will outline the new safety regulations.
This is another example of an implicit statement of structure:
Every school can do more to reduce, reuse, and recycle resources

to decrease its carbon footprint. (proposition-support)
Compose Yourself!
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This implied statement of structure indicates that the reader will first read about
how to reduce waste, then what we can reuse, and finally what we can recycle.
The order in which the ideas appear in the statement of structurewhether
within or outside of the thesis statementshould be the order in which the writer
addresses them in the essay.
At other times, the statement of structure can be explicit. It is a separate sentence that comes after the thesis statement and explains how the paper will be
structured:
When friends are mean to each other it is called Relational Aggression. The reasons for Relational Aggression are varied but include jealousy, anger, and the need for control. (conceptdefinition)
Always try for an implicit statement of structure: it is a hallmark of concise thinking

and writing. However, first draft thesis statements often employ explicit statements of structure so the writer does not forget to address the supporting arguments. As the essay is reworked, moving towards the final draft, often an explicit
statement of structure is replaced by an implicit statement of structure.
Although it may appear to be redundant, the statement of structure is necessary. It keeps both the writer and the reader focused on the argument. Be sure to
include it!
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THE LEAD-IN: GETTING THE AUDIENCE IN THE MOOD
Next comes the lead-in (sometimes referred to as the hook). While the thesis
statement is specific to the topic being addressed, the lead-in provides broader
context, explaining why the reader should care about the thesis. Using the Titanic
example, the lead-in might look like this:
Lead-in: Any time an accident results in significant loss of life, people demand
to know why such a tragedy occurred and whether or not it could have
been avoided. Today, the Nation Transportation Safety Board (NTSB)
conducts an investigation each time a plane, ship, or train is involved in
such a disaster. The tragedy that started it all was the sinking of the
RMS Titanic. On her maiden voyage, just before midnight on April 14,
1912, the Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk in an astonishingly quick two
hours and 23 minutes, killing 1,500 people. It remains the worst maritime disaster of all time. In its aftermath everyone demanded answers.
Followed by the
Thesis: Although the loss of life on the Titanic was due to profound and re-
peated human error, it resulted in improved and standardized emergency equipment and procedures on the high seas.
Providing a wider social context for the very specific Titanic thesis statement
helps readers understand why they might want to read the essay. The lead-in
needs to answer the question, Why should the audience care? When constructing a lead-in, it helps to reflect on why a teacher has assigned the topic.
What big idea is the teacher trying to help students understand? What general
lessons can be learned from it? Why is this topic important in the real world? How
might it relate to something else previously studied?
Compose Yourself!
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Notes
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TRANSITIONS: INTEGRATING THE PIECES
Readers understand the thinking behind an essay by following the language that
links ideas in a logical way. It is precise transition words/phrases that effectively
lead a reader through an argument. Words and phrases like:
however
because
purpose is
in spite of
either/or
therefore
finally
unfortunately
nevertheless
consequently
opinions include
fortunately
although
so that
topic is
just as
both
in order to
belief
in contrast to
as well as
the cause is
idea
similarly
not only
results are
in preference to
hereby
but also
analysis shows
hypotheses
while
as a result
steps taken
theory
ironically
since
effects are
one might assume
amazingly
this led to
similar viewpoint
on the other hand
disturbingly
if ....then
alternative
before
first, second, etc.
after
next
whereby
viewpoint
A writer wants a reader to follow his train of thought exactly. Transition words and
phrases are like the nubs and slots on a puzzle piece. The piece (or idea) needs
to fit perfectly into the one next to it in order for the whole puzzle to work. Learning sentence (idea) combining is one way students grasp how to incorporate
transition language effectively. It is such an important component of expository
writing that the first supplement to this guide deals solely with sentence (idea)
combining.
Compose Yourself!
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THE CONFUSING CONCLUSION: THE END IS IN SIGHT!
At last and finally comes the conclusion. What exactly is a conclusion? The conclusion ties up loose ends; no new information or ideas should come into the
conclusion!!
Now that the reader has assimilated the evidence provided, the writer wants to
remind her once more what he was trying to prove and why it is important. A restatement of the thesis statement related to the broader world must be part of
the conclusion (remember that lead-in; it will be revisited here). However, if the
author has not clearly explained his thesis, it is impossible to write an appropriate
conclusion.
There are three parts to a concluding paragraph:

Restatement of the thesis (using different words or different point of view):
Summary of the main points (using different words or different point of
view):
Universal applications (return to the lead-in in the introductory paragraph
and echo those ideas, but using different words):
In the Titanic essay, the conclusion might look like this:
Restatement of thesis (using different words or different point of view):
While all would have preferred the Titanic passengers and crew who died
to have enjoyed long lives, the shipping industry did learn a great deal
from the multiple errors and miscalculations that lead to the appalling
loss of life.
Compose Yourself!
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Recap of main points (using different words or different point of view):
In the wake of the calamity, new safety regulations went into effect,
the International Ice Patrol (IIP) was established to provide information
and track ice in the North Atlantic, new communications regulations were
instituted, and ships are required to carry enough lifeboats for all onboard and to drill passengers in how to use them.
Universal applications (return to the lead-in in the introductory paragraph and

echo those ideasusing different words):
Without the analysis precipitated by the Titanic catastrophe, the shipping industry would not have had the information it needed to make informed decisions about what improvements to implement. The safety legacy of the Titanic exists to this day in the form of the lifeboat drills
passengers participate in every time they begin a cruise. So when complaining because the lifeboat drill interrupts a dip in the ships pool, remember the alternative!
Ways to wrap up a conclusion:

An emotional appeal based on supporting facts. This was used above.
A call to action
A pertinent quotation
A provocative question related to the topic
REMEMBER: No new ideas or information appear in a conclusion.
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TITLES: WHATS IN A NAME?
When a piece of writing is long enough to merit a title, it should reflect the central theme or idea of the essay. The best titles rely on word-play, pithy puns, and
double meanings.
In general, dont waste too much time thinking up a title; it is far better to have a
great essay and a mundane title than the other way around. However, for big
projects its worth spending some time concentrating on it. So what about a title
for the sample essay?
Over time, the word titanic has morphed into an adjective that means enormous and God-like. It comes from Greek mythology. The Titans were the fathers
and mothers of the Olympian gods. So the word can be used both as the name
Titanic and as an adjective describing something enormous in size and/or powerful in concept.
The essay focuses on the significant human errorsmistakesthat caused the

loss of life.
So, our title will be Titanic Mistakes.
This title uses the word titanic to indicate both the ships mistakes and their
huge significance.
BONUS: Explain the word play used in the title of this book!
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T HE M ANY P IECES
B ECOME A W HOLE
Compose Yourself!
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Compose Yourself!
page 64
ASSEMBLING THE PUZZLE

BIG PICTURE
PART OF THE ESSAY
PURPOSE OF THE PART
Introduction
Inform readers
what the essay is
about.
Lead-in
Sets context for the piecewhy is

this idea important in terms of the
big picture?
Thesis Statement
Explicitly tells the reader what the

argument is about.
Statement of Structure
Explicitly tells the reader the elements of the argument.
Supporting Idea I
Provide readers
with:
Logical
reasoning
Summary Sentence
Introduces and summarizes Idea #

One.
Evidence
Provides explanation and evidence for Idea # One only.
Supporting Idea II
Credible external Summary Sentence

evidence
Factual
examples
References
where appropriate
Evidence

Two.
Provides explanation and evidence for Idea # Two only.
Supporting Idea III

Summary Sentence

Three.
Evidence
Provides explanation and evidence for Idea # Three only.
Conclusion: NEVER INTRODUCE NEW INFORMATION IN THE CONCLUSION!

Restatement of thesis
Remind readers
what the essay is all
Recap of main points
about.
Universal application
Compose Yourself!
Summarizes thesis using different

words or point of view than in the
introduction.
Briefly summarizes (at least) three
pieces of evidence.
Reminds reader of the context the
set at the beginning of the essay.
page 65
THE FIRST DRAFT: PLAIN HARD WORK

The first time the writer links all the related ideas together is in the first draft. It can
be overwhelming. Think of it as beginning that 5,000-piece puzzle; it is a bit
daunting, but by developing a strategy and working slowly and steadily the essay will start to take shape.
Remember to pay attention to the following:
Write a clear, focused, defendable thesis;
Construct a logical argument that includes a statement of structure and
transition language;
Explain/identify all critical terms and people;
Include at least one appropriate example, preferably more, per supporting ideascientific evidence, historical examples and/or quotations, a
mathematical expression; and
Use linguistic cues to keep the reader on track, especially transitional
ideas and phrases, plus subtle repetition of key terms.
ACTIVITY: Compare the notes made while organizing the information in the Supporting Ideas section with this first draft. Highlight and then explain why
new material was added.
Titanic Mistakes
Any time an accident results in significant loss of life, people demand
to know how such a tragedy occurred and whether or not it could have been
avoided. In fact, today the Nation Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) conducts such investigations each time a plane, ship, or train is involved in such
an accident. The tragedy that started it all was the sinking of the RMS Ti-
tanic. Just before midnight on April 14, 1912, the Titanic hit an iceberg on her
Compose Yourself!
page 66
maiden voyage and sunk in an astonishingly quick two hours and twenty-three
minutes, killing 1500 people. It was, and remains, the worst maritime disaster
of all time. In its aftermath everyone demanded answers. Although the loss
of life on the Titanic was due to profound and repeated human error, it precipitated in improved and standardized emergency equipment and procedures
on the high seas.
It is not true that on the evening of April 14 Captain Smith sped up to
prove a point about the ship. However, he did not reduce Titanics speed, even
though he knew there was ice in the area and many other ships had either
stopped for the night or slowed down significantly. Had the telegraph officers
passed on all the ice warnings, it would have been clear to the officers that
there was a huge field of ice some 78 miles long directly ahead of the Ti-
tanic. (Titanic. p. 20) However, we know that Captain Smith knew of the existence of some ice because he had discussed it with the ships owner, Bruce
Ismay, in front of passengers earlier in the day. (Titanic, pp. 17-18) Although
it was customary, at that time, for ships to travel at full speed until a berg
was actually sighted. (Titanic p. 19), many other ships in the area had
slowed significantly or, in the case of the ship closest to the Titanic, the
Californian, stopped for the night.

At the time of the collision, no one knew that there were significant
problems with the strength of the expansion joints. Expansion joints are
slight gaps in the upper hull of a large ship that allow the ship to flex as
it travels through waves and troughs. Thomas Andrews, the ships designer,
knew that the hull girder would have to be strong enough to span the crests
of two or more waves, flex at the ends, and twist in several directions at the
same timebut not break. (Secrets, p. 99) The ship designers had no idea
whether Olympic and Titanic were strong enough to hold together at sea.
[they] simply scaled up the hull of Oceanic and smaller ships. (Secrets, p.
237-38) In so doing, they ended up with a flawed ocean liner. Subsequent reCompose Yourself!
page 67
search has shown the expansion joint under the third funnel was a critically
weak point in the ship. (Secrets, p. 246)
Had the expansion joints been stronger or had the ship been engineered
differently altogether, it is likely that Titanic would have floated for many
more hours, allowing other ships to come to the rescue. In reality, as the incoming water weighed down the center of the ship, the expansion joints failed
catastrophically, folding in on themselves, and causing the ship to quickly
break apart. The laws of strength and buoyancy that had inspired [Andrews]
his entire life doomed Titanic. Thousands of tons of seawater would quickly
outweigh the ability of the ships hull to support it (Secrets, 166).
Once the Captain realized the ship was mortally wounded, he instituted
emergency procedures: SOS telegraphs and distress rockets, but they were
ultimately unsuccessful. Before the Titanic sank, ships telegraph officers
worked for the Marconi Company, were not part of the official chain of command onboard ship, and did not work around the clock. In fact, the Marconi
wireless radio operators werepaid to relay messages to and from the passengers, they were not focused on relaying such non-essential ice messages
to the bridge. (Titanic, p. 20) As a result of this non-official role, the telegraph officer on the Californian, the closest ship to the Titanic, was not
awake and working; he had gone to bed only five minutes before Titanic sent
her first distress call.
As a last resort, Captain Smith ordered the crew to start firing distress rockets. At that time many ships still used signal flares in general,
which had been the way to communicate from ship to ship before the telegraph. As a result, there was no standardized color for the distress rockets.
Most people recognized red flares to mean distress, but the Titanic only had
white rockets. These were mistaken as either celebratory or communications
flares by the Californian.
Compose Yourself!
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The last option for saving peoples lives was to put them in lifeboats.
Had there been enough lifeboats to hold everyone, this might have worked.
However, prior to Titanic tragedy the British Board of Trade required only
that any ship over 10,000 tonshad to carry sixteen lifeboats [approximately
960 peoplethe Titanic carried 2,200 passengers and crew]. (Secrets, p.
101) This regulation was dependant on the tonnage of the ship, not the number of people it carried. Ironically, when she sailed the Titanic actually carried more lifeboats than the [regulations] required. (Titanic, p. 22)
Available to Titanics passengers and crew were 20 lifeboats of three
different varieties:
Lifeboats A, B, C, and D: Englehardt "collapsible" lifeboats (47 persons
each)
("Titanic's life saving appliances". British Wreck
Commissioner's Inquiry. 1912-07-30.)
So, for the approximately 2,220 passengers and crew, there were lifeboat
seats for 1,178, if all boats had left the ship full, which they did not. In the
end, only approximately 700 people survived.
Interestingly, because they anticipated a future change in lifeboat
regulations, Harland & Wolff had included the new Welin lifeboats davits
(crane-like devices used to raise and lower lifeboats) on the Titanic. As a result, she could have carried up to 48 lifeboats onboard [for 2,880 people].
However, when it came time to make the decision to provision the boat, Ismay
decided on 16 wooden lifeboats and four collapsible boats. Ismay felt that
this would be plenty of boats to ferry passengers to a rescue ship. The [Ti-
tanic] should surely be able stay afloat long enough for help to arrive. Why
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clutter the boat deck promenade with three dozen more boats than the law
required? (Secrets, p. 104) So even if the lifeboats had all been filled before
launch, over 1,000 people would still have perished that April night in 1912.
The sheer dimensions of the Titanic disaster created sufficient public
reaction on both sides of the Atlantic to prod reluctant governments into action, producing the first Safety of Life at Sea (SOLAS) convention in 1914
(IIP web site). The purpose of the SOLAS treaty, which has been continuously
updated since 1914, is to ensure that in the event of a catastrophe at sea,
passengers and crew have the greatest chance of survival (IIP web site).
The first order of business of SOLAS was to found the International Ice Patrol (IIP) and agree to new rules about how ships were to deal with ice.
Within a few weeks after Titanic sank, the IIP began the air reconnaissance of the ice lanes in the North Atlantic that continues today. Their
role is to investigate and communicate the ice conditions in the shipping lanes
of the North Atlantic. In addition, when ice is reported by the IIP, ships are
required to proceed at moderate speed or alter course (IIP web site).
The expansion joints of large ships were redesigned, as evidenced by
the retrofitted expansion joints and steel reinforcement on the Britannic, Ti-
tanics sister ship, completed after she sank. During the summer of 2006, divers were able to dive the 400 feet to where Britannic rests on the bottom
of the Aegean Sea, after running into a mine during World War I. Sure
enough, they discovered evidence that Harland & Wolff had significantly
changed the expansion joint design on Britannic.
That the company didnt announce it to the world is testament to their
fear of being sued by the families of the victims of the Titanic disaster. Secretly, quietly, without fanfare, the ships designers and builders decided on
their own to build Britannic with a double hull, and redesign the expansion
Compose Yourself!
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joint and other weak points in the ships. There was no law that required
them to do that. Titanic had perfectly conformed to the regulations of the
British Board of Trade. (Secrets, p. 241)
Also at SOLAS, new maritime communications regulations were put into
effect. After the Titanic sank it was required that ships have an around the
clock telegraph operator who reported directly to the Captain, as well as red
rockets that were only to be used only in cases of distress and must be interpreted as a distress signal by all ships in sight. (reference?)
The most recognizable change after the sinking was the significant new
lifeboat requirements, which were specifically crafted to respond to those
aspects of the Titanic disaster that resulted in unnecessary injury and death.
The simplest change after the Titanic disaster was the new requirement that
all ships have a public address system. Amazingly, Titanic did not have one, so
most of the passengers were in the dark as to what was happening as the
ship went down.
As a result of the Titanics lifeboats being insufficient to evacuate all
aboard, the SOLAS regulations now require that all ships, passenger and
cargo, have enough lifeboats for all souls on board, plus rafts for an additional 25 percent. The additional life rafts can be used if all the lifeboats
have left the ship minimally loaded and there are still people on board.
Everyone was so complacent about Titanics unsinkability that there
had been no emergency drills upon sailing. Neither had the crew been properly trained to load and lower full lifeboats and no one knew to which lifeboats they had been assigned. As a result, SOLAS now requires that Abandon Ship and Fire Onboard drills must take place weekly on passenger
ships and that there be regular and ongoing crew training. (IIP web site)
Compose Yourself!
page 71
In order to avoid some of the injuries that occurred as passengers from
Titanic tried to jump into moving lifeboats, evacuation chutes like those used
on airplanes were developed and are now used to assist in the loading of the
lifeboats.
And finally, of those Titanic passengers who did make it to the lifeboats, many died of hypothermia and exposure, especially those who had become wet for one reason or another. As a result, the SOLAS Treaty now requires that the lifeboats on ships that sail the North Atlantic must be able
to be enclosed for protection from the cold and weather. (IIP web site)
While all would have preferred the Titanic and her passengers and
crew to have had long lives, the shipping industry did learn a great deal from
the multiple errors and miscalculations that lead to the appalling loss of life.
In the wake of the disaster, new safety regulations were put into effect, the
International Ice Patrol was founded to provide information about and track
ice in the North Atlantic, new communications regulations were instituted, and
all ships are now required to carry enough lifeboats for all on board and to
drill passengers in how to use them. Without the analysis that went on after
the Titanic catastrophe, the shipping industry would not have had the information needed to make informed decisions about what safety improvements to
implement to prevent a repeat disaster. The safety legacy of the Titanic is
still with us in the form of the lifeboat drills we participate in every time we
begin a cruise. So next time you are on a cruise and the lifeboat drill interrupts a dip in the pool, remember the alternative.
Words: 1989
Compose Yourself!
page 72
EUREKA!! THE FINISHED ESSAY
Now that the pieces have been put together and transition words added, the
essay is almost finished. Usually, the first draft is adequate, but the final draft
needs to be concise. The idea is to eliminate any overly repetitive or clumsy language.
Continue to check for the following:

A clear, focused, defendable thesis;
A logically constructed argument that includes a statement of structure
and transition language;
All critical terms and people explained/identified;
Numerous examples, mathematical expressions, scientific evidence, historical examples and/or quotations per supporting idea; and
Linguistic cues to keep the reader on track, especially transitional ideas
and phrases, and subtle repetition of key terms.
Also, dont forget to use the following editing checklist (found in the Toolbox section of this book):
Remove slang, contractions, text spelling, and abbreviations.
Remove first or second person (I or you) references.
Ensure that quotes and evidence are introduced, explained, and integrated, not just dropped in randomly.
Make sure quoted, paraphrased, and factual information is appropriately
referenced using the relevant format. This is most often the MLA format,
but check with the person who assigned the task.
Clearly show the relationship between and among ideas using appropriate and varied transition words and phrases.
Compose Yourself!
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Use accurate punctuation to show the relationship between and among

ideas.
Replace imprecise words with precise vocabulary. Eliminate thing, stuff,
very, always, never, sort of, a lot, etc. Replace them with the appropriate,
specific words.
Confirm verb tenses are consistent within the timeframe(s) being addressed.
Mare sure that all singular and plural subjects agree with their verbs.
Spell all words correctly: (specifically their, there, and theyre; to, too, and
two; and it and its).
Make sure the title communicates the thesis.
ACTIVITY: Compare the first draft of the Titanic essay with this final draft. Highlight
what has been added or deleted and explain why this occurred.
Titanic Mistakes
Any time an accident results in a significant loss of life, people demand
to know how such a tragedy could have occurred and whether or not it could
have been avoided. In fact, the Nation Transportation Safety Board conducts
an investigation each time a plane, ship, or train is involved in such an accident. Just before midnight on April 14, 1912, midway through her maiden voyage, the passenger liner RMS Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk in an astonishingly quick two hours and 23 minutes, killing 1,500 people. It was, and remains, the worst maritime disaster of all time. In its aftermath everyone demanded answers. Although the loss of life on the Titanic was due to profound
and repeated human error, it did precipitate improved and standardized emergency equipment and procedures used on the high seas even today.
Compose Yourself!
page 74
It is not true that on that fateful Sunday evening, Captain Smith had
increased Titanics speed in order to try to break a speed record. However, it
is true that he did not reduce Titanics speed, even though he knew there was
ice in the area and many other ships had either stopped for the night or
slowed down significantly. Had the ships telegraph operators passed on all
the ice warnings, it would have been clear to the captain that there was a
huge field of ice some 78 miles long directly ahead of the Titanic (Ballard
20). However, Captain Smith did know of the existence of some ice because
he had discussed it with the ships owner, Bruce Ismay, in front of passengers
earlier in the day (Titanic 17-18). Although it was customary, at that time,
for ships to travel at full speed until a berg was actually sighted (Ballard
19), many other ships in the area had slowed significantly or, in the case of
the ship closest to the Titanic, the Californian, stopped for the night.
Because it was hidden from view at the time of the collision, no one
knew there were significant problems with the strength of the ships expansion joints. These expansion joints are the slight gaps in the upper hull of a
large ship that allow it to flex as it travels through waves and troughs. Thomas Andrews, the Titanics designer, knew that the hull girder would have to
be strong enough to span the crests of two or more waves, flex at the ends,
and twist in several directions at the same timebut not break (Matsen 99).
However, Andrews had no idea whether Olympic [Titanics sister ship, built
before Titanic] and Titanic were strong enough to hold together at sea. [he]
simply scaled up the hull of Oceanic and smaller ships (Matsen 237-38). In
so doing, he ended up with a flawed ocean liner. Subsequent research has
shown that the expansion joint under the third funnel was a critically weak
point in the ship (Matsen p. 246).
Had the expansion joints been stronger or had the ship been engineered
differently altogether, it is likely that Titanic would have floated for many
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more hours, allowing other ships to come to the rescue. In reality, as the incoming water weighed down the center of the ship, the expansion joints failed
catastrophically, folding in on themselves and causing the ship to quickly
break apart. The laws of strength and buoyancy that had inspired [Andrews]
his entire life doomed Titanic. Thousands of tons of seawater would quickly
outweigh the ability of the ships hull to support it (Matsen 166).
Once Captain Smith realized the ship was mortally wounded, he instituted emergency communications: SOS telegraphs and distress rockets, but
they were ultimately unsuccessful. Before the Titanic sank, telegraph officers
on all ships were employed by the Marconi Company, were not part of the official chain of command aboard ship, and did not work around the clock. In
fact, the Marconi wireless radio operators, werepaid to relay messages to
and from the passengers, they were not focused on relaying such nonessential ice messages to the bridge (Ballard 20). As a result of this nonofficial role, the telegraph officer on the Californian, the closest ship to the
Titanic, was not awake and on duty; he had gone to bed only five minutes before Titanic sent her first distress call. Even the telegraph operator on the
Carpathia, the ship that eventually rescued Titanics survivors, had been undressing for bed and randomly listening to the telegraph traffic when he
heard Titanics distress call. Five more minutes and the telegraph would have
been turned off (Ballard 20).
As a last resort at communicating their plight to nearby ships, Captain
Smith ordered the crew to fire distress rockets. At that time many ships still
occasionally used signal flares, because it had been the only way to communicate from ship to ship before the invention of the telegraph just years before. All sorts of rockets and flares were used in 1912, procedures covering
distress signals at sea were in a state of flux, and some company signals were
white (Ballard 199). Unfortunately, at that time there was no standardized
color for distress rockets. Though most seamen recognized red flares to mean
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distress, the Titanic had only white rockets. These were mistaken by the
Californian to be either celebratory fireworks or company signals.

The last option for saving the passengers lives was to put them in
lifeboats. Had there been enough boats to hold everyone, this might have
worked. However, prior to the Titanic tragedy the British Board of Trade required only that any ship over 10,000 tonshad to carry sixteen lifeboats
[approximately 960 peoplethe Titanic carried 2,200 passengers and crew]
(Matsen 101). This regulation was dependant on the tonnage of the ship, not
the number of people it carried. Ironically, when she sailed, the Titanic actually carried more lifeboats than the [regulations] required. (Ballard 22)
Available to rescue Titanics passengers and crew that April night were
20 lifeboats of three different types:
Lifeboats A, B, C, and D: Englehardt "collapsible" lifeboats (47 persons
each)
(British Inquiry, http://www.titanicinquiry.org/about.php; 5-April-2010)
For the approximately 2,220 passengers and crew on board that night, there
were lifeboat seats for 1,178, if all boats had left the ship full, which they
did not (Ballard 22). In the end, only 705 people survived (Winocour 9).
Interestingly, because Harland & Wolff, the company that built Ti-
tanic, had anticipated a future change in lifeboat regulations, it had installed

on the ship the newly developed Welin lifeboats davits (crane-like devices
used to raise and lower lifeboats) that enable multiple boats to be lowered
from the same davit. As a result, she could have carried up to 48 lifeboats on
board, enough to save 2,880 people. However, when it came time to make the
decision to provision the ship Bruce Ismay, the owner, decided to include only
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16 wooden lifeboats and four collapsible boats. He concluded that this would
be plenty of boats to ferry passengers to a rescue ship. The [Titanic] should
surely be able stay afloat long enough for help to arrive. Why clutter the
boat deck promenade with three dozen more boats than the law required?
(Matsen 104). If the lifeboats had all been filled to capacity before launch,
over 1,000 people would still have perished that April night in 1912.
Even before the dark waters closed over the Titanic, the survivors began to wonder how this could have possibly happened? This ship was supposed
to have been unsinkable! At the very least, it was supposed to act as its own
lifeboat like others before it, possibly for days, until help arrived. Once the
news broke to the rest of the world, the sheer dimensions of the Titanic disaster created sufficient public reaction on both sides of the Atlantic to prod
reluctant governments into action, producing the first Safety of Life at Sea
(SOLAS) convention in 1914 (International Ice Patrol, http://www.uscgiip.org/cms/, 5-April-2010). The purpose of the resulting SOLAS Treaty,
which has been continuously updated since 1914, is to ensure that in the
event of a catastrophe at sea passengers and crew have the greatest chance
of survival (International Ice Patrol, http://www.uscg-iip.org/cms/, 5-April2010).
The SOLAS Conventions first order of business was to make official
the International Ice Patrol (IIP) and to agree to new rules about how ships
should deal with ice and especially icebergs. Within a few weeks after Titanic
sank, the precursor to the IIP began the air reconnaissance of the ice lanes
in the North Atlantic that continues today under the direction of the IIP. Its
role is to investigate and communicate the ice conditions in the shipping lanes
of the North Atlantic. In addition, when ice is reported by the IIP, ships are
required to proceed at moderate speed or alter course (International Ice
Patrol, http://www.uscg-iip.org/cms/, 5-April-2010).
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In another change immediately after the loss of the Titanic, Harland &
Wolff redesigned the expansion joints and steel reinforcement of its large
ships. Britannic was Titanics sister ship and was being built in dry dock at
the time Titanic sank. During the summer of 2006, divers were able to reach
the 400 feet where Britannic rests on the bottom of the Aegean Sea, after
running into a torpedo during World War I. They discovered evidence that
Harland & Wolff had significantly changed the expansion joint design on Bri-
tannic before she was commissioned (Matsen 261).

That the Harland & Wolff didnt announce this safety change to the
world is testament to its fear of being sued by the families of the victims of
the Titanic disaster. Secretly, quietly, without fanfare, the company decided
on its own to build Britannic with a double hull, and redesign the expansion
joints and other weak points in the ships. There was no law that required it
to do that. Titanic had perfectly conformed to the regulations of the British
Board of Trade. (Matsen 241)
Also at the first SOLAS conference, new maritime communications
regulations went into effect. Now it is required that ships have a telegraph
(or communications) operator on duty around the clock who is part of the
crew and reports directly to the captain. In another change, red rockets can
only be used in cases of distress and must be interpreted as a distress signal by all ships in sight (International Ice Patrol, http://www.uscgiip.org/cms/, 5-April-2010). After the Titanic sank, the telegraph (and now
satellite communications) became primarily a safety feature on shipboard,
rather than a communication service for passengers.
The most recognizable changes after the sinking were the significant
new lifeboat requirements, which were specifically crafted to respond to
those aspects of the Titanic disaster that caused unnecessary injury and
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death. Because the Titanic lifeboats were insufficient to evacuate all on

board, the new SOLAS regulations required that all ships, both passenger and
cargo, have enough lifeboats for all souls on board, plus rafts for an additional 25 percent. The extra life rafts can be used if all lifeboats have left
the ship minimally loaded, as they did on the Titanic, and there are still people remaining aboard.
In addition to not having enough lifeboats, everyone was so complacent
about Titanics unsinkability that there had been no emergency lifeboat
drills upon sailing. Worse than that, the officers and crew had not been properly trained to load and lower full lifeboats and they had no idea which lifeboats they had been assigned to. As a result, the new SOLAS Treaty required
that Abandon Ship and Fire Onboard drills take place weekly on passenger
ships and that there be regular and ongoing crew training (International Ice
Patrol, http://www.uscg-iip.org/cms/, 5-April-2010). Anyone who has taken a
cruise lately knows that these regulations are still in effect today.
The simplest change was the requirement that all ships have a public
address system (International Ice Patrol, http://www.uscg-iip.org/cms/, 5April-2010). Amazingly, Titanic did not have one, so most of the passengers
were unclear what was happening as the ship went down.
Finally, in order to avoid the injuries that occurred as passengers from
the Titanic attempted to jump into moving lifeboats, evacuation chutes, similar to those used on modern airplanes, were developed and are required to assist in the loading of the lifeboats. Many Titanic passengers who did make it
to the lifeboats died of hypothermia and exposure, especially those who had
become wet. As a result, the SOLAS Treaty requires that lifeboats on ships
that sail the North Atlantic must be enclosed to provide protection from the
cold and weather (International Ice Patrol, http://www.uscg-iip.org/cms/, 5-
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April-2010).
While everyone would have preferred the Titanic and all her passengers and crew to have enjoyed long lives, the shipping industry learned a
great deal from the multiple errors and miscalculations that led to the appalling loss of life when the Titanic went down. In the wake of the disaster,
new safety regulations went into effect and the International Ice Patrol was
founded to provide information and track ice in the North Atlantic. Also, ships
are now required to carry lifeboats for all on board and to drill passengers in
how to use them. Without the analysis resulting from the Titanic catastrophe, the shipping industry would not have had the information needed to make
informed decisions about which improvements to implement to prevent a repeat disaster. The safety legacy of the Titanic still exists in the form of the
lifeboat drills passengers participate in on the first day of each cruise. So
when on a voyage and the lifeboat drill interrupts a dip in the pool, dont be
annoyed. Instead, remember the alternative!
Words: 2259
ACTIVITY: Color-code each element of this essay. (i.e., lead-in, thesis, statement of
structure, evidence, etc.) using a different color for each element. Then do the
same for one of your own essays. Are all the elements represented? If any are
missing, how could you add them?
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T HINKING &
O RGANIZATION
T OOLB OX
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Compose Yourself!
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ORDER OF OPERATIONS FOR AN ANALYTICAL ESSAY

Happily, in all six types of expository writing, the writing process is the same, even
though the content will vary dramatically. But sometimes it is hard to know where
to begin researching and writing an essay. The following order of operations provides a path to follow in order to end up with a complete, balanced essay:
Topic provided or selected (p. 19)
Brainstorm information and ideas (pp. 24 & 31)

Determine text structure and transfer information from brainstorming
session to appropriate analysis organizer (pp. 17 & 91, 97, 105, 114,
122, or 131)
Synthesize and summarize the patterns and relationships in the data on the
analysis organizer to determine the thesis statement (p. 37)
Transfer this information to writing template (p. 86)
Use information on the analysis organizer to determine at least the

three best supporting ideas and write summarizing supporitng idea
statements (pp. 91, 97, 105, 114, 122, or 131)
Find evidence to explain the supporting ideas in detail (quotes, data,

analysis of reliable experts, experimental results, mathematical
processes, etc.) (pp. 43-54)
Reiterate and restate the thesis and supporting ideas in the conclusion
(p. 60)
Write first draft: incorporate transitions to combine and explicitly

explain the relationships and patterns between and among the ideas
and evidence (p. 67)
Fully introduce, explain, and integrate terms and quotations (p. 43-54)
Write final draft: revising as needed, specifically tighten languge and

streamline thinking (p. 74)
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Ongoing Research (p. 25)
TEMPLATE: ORGANIZING EXPOSITORY WRITING

TOPIC: _______________________________________________________________________________
BRAINSTORM/RESEARCH USING ANALYSIS ORGANIZER: _________________________________________
TEXT STRUCTURE: _______________________________________________________________________
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting to the
audience):
Thesis Statement:
Statement of Structure:
Implied?
Explicit?
Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence:

Evidence:
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence:

Evidence:
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence:

Evidence:
Plus more supporting ideas as needed

Conclusion
Restatement of thesis:
Recap of main points:
Universal application (see lead-in in introductory paragraph):
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CHECKLIST: EDITING THE FINAL DRAFT

1. Remove slang, contractions, text spelling, and abbre-
DONE
viations.
2. Remove first or second person (I or you) references.
DONE
3. Ensure that quotes and evidence are introduced, ex-
DONE
plained, and integrated, not just dropped in randomly.

4. Make sure quoted, paraphrased, and factual informa-
DONE
tion is appropriately referenced using the relevant format (usually MLA format, but check with the person who
assigned the task).
5. Clearly show the relationship between and among
DONE
ideas using appropriate and varied transition words and

phrases.
6. Use accurate punctuation to show the relationship be-
DONE
tween and among ideas.

7. Replace imprecise words with precise vocabulary. Elimi-
DONE
nate thing, stuff, very, always, never, sort of, a lot, etc.
8. Confirm that verb tenses are consistent within the
DONE
timeframe(s) being addressed.

9. Check that all singular and plural subjects agree with
DONE
their verbs.
10. Spell all words correctly: look specifically at their, there,
DONE
and theyre; to, too, and two; and its and its.
11. Make sure the title communicates the thesis.
Compose Yourself!
DONE
page 87
Notes
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TIPS FOR WRITING A COMPARE-CONTRAST ESSAY
A compare-contrast essay focuses on the similarities and differences between

and among situations, processes, objects, or ideas. The purpose is to develop
and explain the relationship between two or more items in order to better understand both.
Introduction
Lead-in: How will this compare-contrast help someone better understand
this topic? Why is this compare-contrast important in the big picture?
Thesis statement: In a compare-contrast essay, the thesis statement needs
to summarize the major similarities and differences in the topic and explain
any relationships, if appropriate.
Statement of structure: It can be implicit (incorporated into the thesis) or
explicit (a stand-alone sentence)
Body of the Essay

The body paragraphs in a compare-contrast essay relate the similarities and differences between the two items being compared and are presented in one of
two organizational formats:
Element-by-Element
One specific element of the first subject is presented and then the similar
element of the second subject is presented. For example, if an essay is comparing two automobiles, safety features would probably be one of the elements of comparison. In an element-by-element approach, the safety features of each of the two vehicles would be discussed before addressing, for
example, the cost of each car.
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Subject-by-Subject
In this method, all of the elements of the first automobile would be discussed
before the elements of the second are presented. For example, a paragraph
on the Geo Prism would include the cars safety features, cost, and performance record. The next paragraph on the Ford Escort would then include a
comparison of the same elements in the same order.
IMPORTANT: When choosing similarities and differences, mention those that are the
most important, the most descriptive, or the most informative. For example,
when comparing-contrasting cars, focus on those elements that truly differentiate them based on their purpose. If a cars purpose is to move people
and things from one place to another safely, car color is not that important.
However, the difference in the power of the engines would be. Elaborate in
such a way that similarities and differences are clear and distinct.
Transitions
Use transition words to help the reader follow the flow of ideas:
Transition words for similarities

in a similar way, in the same manner, similarly, equally, equally as important, in the same fashion, likewise, in a like manner
Transition words for differences

but, on the other hand, instead of, still, yet, although, in contrast to,
whereas, nevertheless, rather, on the contrary
Conclusion
Exit the essay by restating the thesis, summarizing the main points, and then tying
them in to the lead-in. Finally, end with a some memorable ideaa relevant
quotation, an interesting twist of logic, a call to actionrelated to the lead-in.
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Critical Differences
Classify/summarize the differences.

Is there a common thread among the differences?
How might the differences be described?
Summary of Differences:
TOPIC:
Compose Yourself!
Possible Thesis:
page 91
Relationship: Is there a relationship between the similarities and differences? How do they influence each other?
Classify/summarize the similarities.

Is there a common thread among the similarities?
How might the similarities be described?
Summary of Similarities:
Critical Similarities
COMPARE-CONTRAST ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
MLKadvocated a non-violent approach to ending racism,

favored a more incremental approach
Both religious leaders (MLK Christian, MX Muslim)
Their fight against racism polarized the nation
Methods of achieving an end to racism very different
Classify/summarize the differences.

Is there a common thread among the differences?
How might the differences be described?
Compose Yourself!
page 92
Possible Thesis: While both Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr. believed that racism and discrimination in the U.S.
needed to be eradicated, they held opposing points of view on the role of violence in the struggle to convince white Americans to overcome their long-held beliefs.
Different routes to the same goal. Ironic that the man who advocated non-violence (MLK) was also assassinated.
Relationship: Is there a relationship between the similarities and differences? How do they influence each other?
Both committed to ending racism, no matter the personal

danger
Classify/summarize the similarities.

Is there a common thread among the similarities?
How might the similarities be described?
Summary of Similarities:
Summary of Differences:
Different religious beliefs
Personally faced violence
Both assassinated
MXHis motto for gaining equal rights was By any means

necessary! and that included violence
Spoke out against racism
Critical Differences
King, Jr. to the African-American struggle for civil rights in the 1950s and 60s.
TOPIC: Compare and contrast the approaches of Malcolm X and Martin Luther
Critical Similarities
COMPARE-CONTRAST ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
SAMPLE COMPARE-CONTRAST TEMPLATE

TOPIC: Compare and contrast the approaches of Malcolm X and Martin Luther
King, Jr. to the African-American struggle for civil rights in the 1950s
and 60s.
BRAINSTORM (ON SEPARATE SHEET)
TEXT STRUCTURE: Compare-Contrast
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting): The Civil Rights movement of the 50s and 60s was one of the
most necessary but divisive popular movements in American history. Given

its continuing influence on current law and behavior, it is critical to understand how such momentous social change was achieved. Two of the
most prominent African-American leaders within the movement were
Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr.
Thesis Statement: While both Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr. believed
that racism and discrimination in the U.S. needed to be eradicated, they

held opposing points of view on the role of violence in the struggle to
convince white Americans to overcome their long-held beliefs.
Implied
Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: Both Malcolm X and Martin Luther King
Jr. were angry about the continued racism and discrimination African
Americans throughout the nation were subjected to.
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Evidence: Examine roots of racism in the U.S. and why it exists. Exam-
ples of institutionalized racism in the U.S. Quotes from each, introduced and explained.
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: Malcolm X believed the civil rights
movement needed to be a violent armed struggle, as white Americans

would not voluntarily give up their power over African-Americans.
Evidence: Quotes from Malcolm X and from others, introduced and ex-
plained
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: On the other hand, Martin Luther King,
Jr. believed the civil rights movement must model non-violence and reflect Christian principles by treating all people, black or white, as children of God.
Evidence: Quotes from Martin Luther King, quotes from followers of
Martin Luther King, Jr., introduced and explained
Conclusion
Universal application (see lead-in of introductory paragraph): These two men
embodied the civil rights movement and encapsulated the fault lines within
the movement itself. Their different philosophies are visible even today in political skirmishes involving affirmative action and voting rights.
Compose Yourself!
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TIPS FOR WRITING A CAUSE-EFFECT ESSAY

A cause-effect first presents a reason or motive for a particular event, situation or
trend and then explains the results or consequences of that situation. The study
of science and history most often use the cause-effect structure.
Introduction
Lead-in: How will this cause-effect help someone better understand this
topic? Why is this cause-effect topic important in the big picture?
Thesis statement: In a cause-effect essay, the thesis statement needs to

summarize the patterns and relationships within and between the most significant causes and effects related to the topic.

Body of the Essay

Consider the following issues when constructing a cause-effect essay:
To adequately present an event, condition, phenomenon, or trend, the
writer must provide a reasonable background in order for the reader to understand the analysis. The degree of explanation depends on the complexity of the issue. If it is a simple situation, the writer might be able to explain it
in the introduction. However, if it is a complex phenomenon, the writer
might need to add a paragraph after the introduction that goes into more
detail.
A logical argument with evidence is necessary to persuade readers that the

proposed causes or effects are reasonable, especially if they contradict
previously accepted facts. To present such an argument, the writer must
use sources that state facts and evidence. Examples and anecdotes can
also be used, if appropriate.
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IMPORTANT: When selecting causes and effects, choose those that are the most
important, the most descriptive, or the most informative. For example, all
ships on the North Atlantic the evening of April 14, 1912 had to contend with
the same weather/light conditions. Not all ships ran into an iceberg and
sank. So, while the weather conditions contributed to the sinking of the Titanic, they were not a primary cause.
Transitions
as a result, since, this led to, if....then, because, therefore, consequently,
so that, in order to, occurrences, why, what, elements, factors
Conclusion
them into the lead-in. Finally, end with a memorable ideaa relevant quotation,
an interesting twist of logic, a call to actionrelated to the lead-in.
Compose Yourself!
page 96
TOPIC:
Event/Situation
Compose Yourself!
Possible Thesis:
page 97
Effects/Results
Classify/summarize the effects.

Is there a common thread or similarity among
the effects?
How might the effects be described?
Summary of Effects:
Relationship: Is there a relationship between the causes and effects? How do they influence each other?
Classify/summarize the causes.

the causes?
How might the causes be described?
Summary of Causes:
Causes/Reasons
CAUSE-EFFECT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
Compose Yourself!
Event/Situation
Make substantial territorial concessions
page 98
Pay brutal reparations to the Allies
When Hitler became aggressive and

broke the ToV he had the support of
the German people
Resentment of the ToV resulted in

fertile ground for the rise of the
Nazi party
Huge burden of the reparations

caused hyperinflation in Germany
and common people suffered greatly
Anti-Semitism grew because Germans erroneously thought (and were

encouraged to believe) that German
Jews had betrayed them
Germany to accept sole responsibility for causing the war and must:
Disarm completely
The ToV united Germans against the

rest of Europe because they felt
badly treated and unfairly accused
of starting WWI (it was actually
much more complicated than that)
Germany neither pacified, conciliated, nor permanently weakened
Effects/Results
Of the ToV
TOPIC: How did the decisions made at the end of World War I
affect the likelihood of a lasting peace in Europe?
End of WWI & terms of ToV
But the French won the fight to

impose a harsh peace on Germany
since it bore the brunt of the
economic and physical destruction in
the war
Britain & the US wanted a restored

Germany as an important trading
partner and worried about the
effect of reparations on the British
economy
France's chief interests were

national security, reparations, and
the return of Alsace-Lorraine
Causes/Reasons
Provisions of the Treaty of Versailles (ToV)
CAUSE-EFFECT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
The ToV actually generated the conditions that led

to another warWWII. Rather than help the
German people see the error of their ways, it just
made them resentful. So they supported Hitler
when he ignored the treaty and provoked Europe
into another war.
Classify/summarize the effects.

Is there a common thread or similarity among the effects?
How might the effects be described?
Summary of Effects:
Compose Yourself!
page 99
Possible Thesis: Although the desire for revenge was understandable, the terms of the ToV, as dictated by the Allies, brutally punished Germany after World War I. These terms led directly to the rise of German political and military power in
the 1930s and the subsequent breakout of World War II in 1939, just 20 years after the First World War ended.
The intended effect of the ToV was the opposite of what actually occurred. The Allies wanted to create a permanent peace by destroying Germanys ability to make war, but instead Europe was at war againWWIIwithin 20
years. So a man who survived fighting in WWI and made it home to his wife could have had an 18-19 year old son
drafted to fight in WWII. How horrific!
Relationship: Is there a relationship between the causes and effects? How do they influence each other?
Because WWI was so devastating for all involved, but

especially the French, the Allies wanted German military
and economic power to be significantly reduced. The ToV
was revenge for Germany starting the war.
Classify/summarize the causes.

the causes?
How might the causes be described?
Summary of Causes:
CAUSE-EFFECT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER (CONT.)
SAMPLE CAUSE-EFFECT TEMPLATE

TOPIC: How did the decisions at the end of World War I affect the likelihood
of a lasting peace Europe?

TEXT STRUCTURE: Cause-Effect
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting): When one is wronged, it is human nature to want to exact re-
venge. This is true for nations as well as individuals. After the destruction visited on Europe during World War I, the Allies wanted to ensure
that such a catastrophic war could never happen again. As they began
to develop the terms of peace, the Allied powers kept this goal in mind.
Unfortunately, it backfired.
Thesis Statement: Although the desire for revenge was understandable, the
terms of the ToV, as dictated by the Allies, brutally punished Germany

after World War I. Unfortunately, these terms led directly to the rise
of the Nazi Party in the 1930s and ultimately the breakout of World
War II in 1939.
Implied
Causes (or reasons) for the terms of the Treaty of Versailles

Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: Because Germany was considered the ag-
gressor in World War I, France feared a resurgence of a combative and

war-bent German military power. Therefore, one of the terms of the
Compose Yourself!
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ToV required Germany to disband its military and destroy all its heavy
weapons.
Evidence: Data from the treaty, historical interpretations and analysis,
participant accounts, contemporary newspaper articles, etc.
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: In addition, the ToV required Germany
to pay enormous reparations to the Allies, effectively destroying the

German economy. The war had destroyed the economy of Europe; France
wanted to retaliate so that Germany would be unable to develop new
weapons and rearm.
accounts of those affected, contemporary newspaper articles, etc.
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: Finally, France, Denmark, and Poland,
among other countries, wanted land restored to them that Germany had
seized in previous wars. The ToV returned contested land to all the Allied
powers so affected.
eyewitness accounts, contemporary newspaper articles, etc.
Effects (or results) of WWI outcome on politics in Europe

Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: As a result of the Treaty, Germany sim-
ply hid its military high command within another bureau of the government. Military leaders spent the years after WWI rewriting tactic and
strategy manuals, taking into account lessons learned in WWI.
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Evidence: Historical interpretations and analysis, participant accounts,
contemporary documents, etc.
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: The economic fallout of the reparations
caused hyperinflation, which greatly affected ordinary German citizens

and increased general resentment against the former Allies.
Evidence: Historical interpretations and analysis, eyewitness accounts,
contemporary newspaper articles, etc.
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: Regaining the land lost to the Allies in
the ToV remained a rallying cry for the German people, who felt culturally German areas had been unfairly taken from them.
Evidence: Historical interpretations and analysis, participant accounts,
contemporary newspaper articles, etc.
Conclusion
Universal application (see lead-in introductory paragraph): Often, taking de-
sired revenge backfires on the avenger, both in ones personal life and in the
political arena. The resentment and anger build up until there is an explosion.
In the case of Europe in the 20th century, it erupted into another worldwide
war, World War II, in 1939. Fortunately, the Allies did learn their lesson; after WWII ended, the Allied reaction was quite different towards the vanquished from the terms imposed by the Treaty of Versailles.
Compose Yourself!
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TIPS FOR WRITING A PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAY

A problem-solution essay addresses a complex philosophical dilemma with no
clear right answer, develops criteria for addressing the problem, and informs
readers about possible actions that might be taken to remedy the situation. No
matter what sort of complex problem is encountered, the chances of solving it
improve if it is approached analytically, conscious of the steps one can take and
escape routes available if the steps become too rigid.
Introduction
Lead-in: How will this problem-solution essay help someone better understand the problem and why it needs to be solved? Why is the solution(s) important in the big picture?
Thesis statement: In a problem-solution essay, the thesis statement needs to

summarize both the problem and the possible solution(s).

The lead-in should answer the question, What will happen if this problem is not
solved? The introduction needs to provide enough background information to
understand the problem. Often that means at least one paragraph of the essay
outlines the details of the problem as defined. Why is it a problem? What are the
root causes? Does class reading and/or outside research provide any explanations?
Compose Yourself!
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BODY OF THE ESSAY

There are many facets to a problem-solution essay and all should be addressed:
What is the alternative to solving the problem?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of the alternative to solving
the problem?
What is the solution?
How well is/will the solution work?
IMPORTANT: After describing the problem, the essay should outline a realistic solution. Begin by choosing one possibility. Assess any difficulties involved. Perhaps there are rules and regulations that need to be followed. Perhaps the
solution will be prohibitively expensive. Where will the money come from?
Discuss the solution in detail. Move onto other possibilities only after the first solution has been explained in full.
Transitions
the cause is, results are, corrected, improved, remedied, issue, possibilities, analysis, preferences, explanation, situation, obstacle, choice, outcome
Conclusion
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Describe Solution(s)
in Detail and Explain
How It (They) Fulfills
the Criteria
Describe Problem &

Its Relative
Importance
Consider Potential
Problems/Arguments
Raised by the Opposition and Refute
Compose Yourself!
Possible Thesis:
the solution(s)?
page 105
Relationship: Given the realities of todays world, is the solution(s) feasible? What is the best way to motivate others to adopt
Develop Criteria for

Solution(s)
TOPIC:
PROBLEM-SOLUTION ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
Compose Yourself!
Many people in the

U.S. are uninsured and
sick or dying. Often
they go bankrupt
trying to get medical
care
Malignant influence of
health insurance
companies that deny
coverage for a variety
of spurious reasons
Exponentially rising
health care costs
Describe Problem &

Its Relative
Importance
Health decisions made

by doctors, not insurance companies or
government
Generally lower health

care costs
Universal coverage,
including no denial of
coverage or service
based on prior health
conditions or current
needs
Develop Criteria for

Solution(s)
PROBLEM-SOLUTION ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
page 106
Subsidies provided for

those who cant pay
Regulated rates kept

affordable
Mandatory universal
access, including no
denial of service
allowed
Regulate health
coverage, whether
private or public, similar to public utilities
(electricity and water)
Describe Solution(s)
in Detail and Explain
How It (They) Fulfills
the Criteria
reformed?
What about the

current healthcare
system? Convert it.
The structure is
already in place, just
need to change the
regulations
Who will pay?

Universal coverage =
more money in the pot
Consider Potential
Problems/Arguments
Raised by the Opposition and Refute
TOPIC: How should healthcare in the United States be
Compose Yourself!
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Possible Thesis: The healthcare crisis in America has generated many suggestions for reform and a great deal
of disagreement; however, one possible solution stands out. Treat healthcare like the necessity it is, with all
the rules and regulations required of utilities like electrical, cable, water, and gas companies.
Solution is feasible; it is the utility industry model. However, the politics of the healthcare issue need
to be addressed in order to convince both sides to adopt this solution.
adopt the solution(s)?
Relationship: Given the realities of todays world, is the solution(s) feasible? What is the best way to motivate people to
PROBLEM-SOLUTION ANALYSIS ORGANIZER (CONT.)
SAMPLE PROBLEM-SOLUTION TEMPLATE

TOPIC: How should healthcare in the United States be reformed?
TEXT STRUCTURE: Problem-Solution
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting): One issue on which Democrats and Republicans currently con-
cur on is that finding a solution to the healthcare crisis is the most

important item on the agenda of this Congress. However, that is about
all the members of Congress agree on. The opposing political views on
the role of government have obscured the need to act. However, there is
already a model of government involvement that could serve as a
template to solve the healthcare dilemma.
Thesis Statement: The healthcare crisis in America has generated many sugges-
tions for reform and a great deal of disagreement; however, one possible
solution stands out. Treat healthcare like the necessity it is, with all the
rules and regulations required of utilities like electrical, cable, water,
and gas companies.
Implied
Define/explain problem: Explain how the healthcare crisis evolved.

Evidence: Statistics showing rise in healthcare costs and premiums, num-
bers of uninsured, anecdotes of healthcare gone awry.
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Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: In order to prevent price gouging, the
prices public utilities can charge customers are regulated, often within a
marketplace.
Evidence: Relate details of price regulations in the utility sector and
show how it could be applied to the healthcare industry.
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: In addition to regulating prices, public
utilities are required to provide access to all; they cannot pick and
choose which neighborhoods to service.
Evidence: Relate details of access in the utility sector and show how it
could be applied to the healthcare industry.
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: Utility companies services are also
regulated so that a basic minimum of services is offered to all customers. Often additional customer benefits can be added, but at an additional cost to the customer. Apply the same principal to the healthcare
industry.
Evidence: Relate details of services in the utility sector and show how it
could work in to the healthcare industry.
Conclusion
Recap of main point:
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Universal application (see lead-in introductory paragraph): Perhaps if Congress
would put politics aside and analyzes an existing example of government involvement in the market place, it could find a mutually agreeable solution to
the most important issue to face Americans in a generation.
Compose Yourself!
page 110
TIPS FOR WRITING A CONCEPT-DEFINITION ESSAY

A concept-definition essay provides a personal (but still factually complete and
correct) understanding of a particular concept or term. The essay conveys what
research, understanding, and experience have taught the writer about the concept or term. What a concept is not is often part of the definition.
INTRODUCTION
Lead-in: How will this concept-definition essay help someone better understand the concept? Why is understanding the concept important in the big
picture?
Thesis statement: In a concept-definition essay the thesis statement must

provide a summary definition of the concept.

BODY OF THE ESSAY

The purpose of a concept-definition essay is to define a concept. A definition
can be developed in a number of ways, some of which mimic other text structures. That is OK. If that definition requires an explanation of cause-effect, so be
it. The introduction and conclusion will focus the reader on the conceptdefinition purpose of the essay.
As an example, consider a definition of a cultural concept such as professional
sports:
The essay could begin with a history (a kind of process essay) of the development of professional sports in American culture, its migration to other
countries, its growth and transformation into entertainment, its excesses and
successes.
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It could include examples of the types of professional sports and the success and failure of various leagues.
It could describe professional sports as a process (the steps involved to create a league or team) or develop an analysis of its principles and its place
in American culture.
It could provide a contrast to other countries professional sports leagues,
demonstrating what American professional sports are and are not.
It could even be structured as a cause-effect explanation, describing how
professional sports respond to certain needs in modern American culture or
how American culture is influenced by sports.
A concept-definition essay is not limited to any one method of development
and it may employ more than one text structure simultaneously.
Another way to define something is to explain what it is not. When defining the
idea of "home," one could begin by suggesting that the adage "There's no place
like home" is silly because there are, in fact, many places like home. Or one
could insist that home is not really a place at all, but an idea.
IMPORTANT: Some rhetorical points about definitions:

Avoid using the phrases "is where" and "is when": A professional sport is
when gifted athletes are paid to play a sport as a job. Or A computer virus is where.
Avoid circular definitions (repeating the defined term within the definition itself). A computer virus is a virus that destroys or disrupts software.
Avoid using a too narrow definition, one that would unduly limit the scope
of the essay. Reggae music is sung on the Caribbean island of Jamaica. In
fact, reggae music is sung all over the world, although it was born in Jamaica.
Compose Yourself!
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TRANSITIONS
examples are, described as, looks like, critical attributes are, functions
like, who, what, where, when, description, characteristics, issues, process, explanation
CONCLUSION
Compose Yourself!
page 113
Why Is this Concept

Important?
How/When Is the
Concept Used?
TOPIC:
Counter Examples
Compose Yourself!
Possible Thesis:
page 114
Relationship: What are some examples of this concept in action? Are there any analogies that help illustrate this concept?
Critical Elements of
the Concept
Dictionary or Subject-Area Definition:
CONCEPT-DEFINITION ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
hero?
TOPIC: Does Odysseus fulfill the role of an ancient Greek
Compose Yourself!
Eternal honor in dying

well, in contrast to doing
good while alive
Suffers and dies
Has a ritually antagonistic relationship with the

god or goddess most like
him/her. This relationship is a fatal attraction
Lives to the extreme, in

both good and bad ways
Is mortal, not immortal
Critical Elements of
the Concept (a
Greek Hero)
Different cultures
define heroic actions
differently. Its important to know which
definition of hero is
being used
Humans want to
admire individuals who
achieve great things
All cultures have

heroes
Why Is This Concept

Important?
page 115
These stories also help

people assess their
own behavior and
establish what is
important to them in
life
The stories about

ancient heroes occur
mostly when studying
literature, archeology,
and history
How/When Is the
Concept Used?
Modern heroes,
because they are
required to exemplify
good moral standards
Odysseus, since he
doesnt die and by
Greek standards is not
particularly extreme
in his behavior
Counter Examples
Dictionary or Subject-Area Definition:

The ancient Greek hero undergoes some sort of ordeal. The hero, who is mortal, not immortal like the gods,
must suffer during his or her lifetime and must die. He must struggle against his fear of death in order to
achieve the most perfect end to his life. Only after death can the hero receive immortalization through veneration in cult and in song.
CONCEPT-DEFINITION ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
Compose Yourself!
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Possible Thesis: Because the ancient Greek hero is a morally ambiguous figure who undergoes an ordeal that
requires a struggle against the fear of death but who ultimately dies, Odysseus does not qualify as a
hero in the Greek sense.
Achilles, Hercules, Oedipus
Relationship: What are some examples of this concept in action? Are there any analogies that help illustrate this concept?
CONCEPT-DEFINITION ANALYSIS ORGANIZER (CONT.)
SAMPLE CONCEPT-DEFINITION TEMPLATE

TOPIC: Does Odysseus fulfill the role of an ancient Greek hero?
TEXT STRUCTURE: Concept-Definition
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting): Every culture has its heroes and heroines and their struggles
define the important attributes of that culture. In fact, scholars often

learn about the beliefs and desires of a culture by studying it heroes
and heroines.
Thesis: Because the traditional ancient Greek hero is a morally ambiguous fig-
ure who undergoes an ordeal in which he struggles against the fear of

death but ultimately dies, Odysseus does not qualify as a hero in the
Greek sense.
Implied
Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: Ancient Greek heroes are extreme in
both good ways and bad; moral focus is not what defines them.
Evidence: Lives of Achilles, Oedipus
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Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: Ancient Greek heroes are frequently in
conflict with the gods. This antagonism often results in their deaths or
eternal torture.
Evidence: Life of Prometheus
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: Greek heroes find eternal honor in dying
well, not necessarily in living a morally good life.

Evidence: Life of Hercules
Conclusion
Universal application (see lead-in introductory paragraph): The focus of ancient
Greek heroes and culture is on the eternal, rather than the immediate.
Strength, bravery, and loyalty were the characteristics valued in ancient
Greece. It never mattered whether these attributes were used to good or
bad effect. This is very unlike our modern concept of a hero as someone who
lives an exemplary life.
Compose Yourself!
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TIPS FOR WRITING A GOAL-ACTION-OUTCOME (PROCESS) ESSAY

A goal-action-outcome essay either tells the reader how to do something or describes how something is done. There are two types of process essays: those that
instruct and those that explain or analyze. The goal-action-outcome pattern of
organization is especially important in scientific and mathematical writing. For
example, it is used to describe biological processes like T-cell lymphocyte production, chemical processes like drug interactions, and technical processes like
a colonoscopy. In mathematics it is used to explain how to solve complex, realworld, multi-step math problems.
INTRODUCTION
Lead-in: How will this goal-action-outcome essay help someone better understand how or why something is done? Why is doing/knowing it important
in the big picture?
Thesis statement: A goal-action-outcome thesis statement articulates a

clear goal and the reason for the goal.

State what the goal-action-outcome is and why it is important:
The digestive process is critical in providing living organisms with the needed
energy to maintain life.
Provide background information in the form of the statement of structure (see

Statement of Structure section) and define the goal-action-outcome that will be
explained:
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A group of organs, the mouth, esophagus, stomach, and intestines, work together to perform the complex task of digestion, which includes the process
of breaking down food from large molecules into small ones to make it easier
to absorb as energy.
BODY OF THE ESSAY

When writing a goal-action-outcome (process) essay, consider the following:
What process is being explained? Why is it important?
Who or what does the process affect?
Are there different ways of completing the process? If so, what are they?
Who are the readers? What additional knowledge do they need to understand this process, if any?
What skills/equipment are needed for this process to be completed, if any?
How long does the process take? Is the outcome always the same?
How many steps complete the process?
Why is each step important?
What difficulties are encountered in each step, if any? How can they be
overcome?
Are any cautions necessary?
Does the process include definitions that need to be clarified?
Are there other processes that are similar and more familiar to the audience
that could help illustrate this process?
If needed, tell what should or should not be done when completing the
process and why.
Compose Yourself!
page 120
IMPORTANT: Clarity is critical. When writing a goal-action-outcome essay, the

reader should be able to replicate the process (if it is physically possible!) or
visualize it well enough to explain it to someone else.
TRANSITIONS
accomplish, steps taken, effects are, achieving, purpose is, steps, results,
product, begin, process, first (second, third, etc.), next, finally
CONCLUSION
Compose Yourself!
page 121
Compose Yourself!
The reader should be able to

recreate the actions from the
text alone, based on the
action plan.
Why is this goal important?

What are the
consequences of success?
What are the
consequences of failure?
Possible Goal Statement:
Step-by-Step Actions
to Reach Goal
Reason for or
Purpose of Goal
GOAL-ACTION-OUTCOME ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
page 122
What might go wrong at

each step?
What will be hard to do
and why?
Detail any helpful hints.
Potential Pitfalls
GOAL:
Describe the perfect

outcome.
Will following these steps
obtain the perfect
outcome? Why or why not?
What are the lessons
learned?
Desired Outcome
I might not stick with my

nutrition plan and
continue to eat junk food
Establish a reasonable
nutrition plan that I can
realistically follow
Perhaps use a calendar to
plan out the 3 strands
I might get injured while

trainingthen Id have to
stop and Id get behind
schedule
Develop day-by-day
weightlifting plan to
increase strength from
now until the season
starts
I might get lazy and not

keep up with my daily
workouts
What might go wrong at

each step?
What will be hard to do
and why?
Detail any helpful hints.
Potential Pitfalls
To prove to myself that

I have the discipline to
follow a long-term plan
To surprise my coach
To be ready for football

season
Describe the perfect

outcome.
Will following these steps
obtain the perfect
outcome? Why or why not?
What are the lessons
learned?
Desired Outcome
GOAL: To develop a personal fitness plan.
Compose Yourself!
page 123
Possible Goal Statement: Because fitness and strength are critical when playing contact sports, especially varsity
football, this fitness plan will focus on enhancing cardiovascular endurance and strength and improving nutrition.
Want to get and remain

healthy, not get sick
Dont want to get injured
Want to play varsity

football
The reader should be able to

re-create the actions from
the text alone, based on the
action plan.
Why is this goal important?

What are the
consequences of success?
What are the
consequences of failure?
Create day-by-day cardio

plan to follow from now
until the season starts
Step-by-Step Actions
to Reach Goal
Reason for/
Purpose of Goal
GOAL-ACTION-OUTCOME ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
SAMPLE GOAL-ACTION-OUTCOME TEMPLATE

TOPIC: Develop a personal fitness plan.
TEXT STRUCTURE: Goal-Action-Outcome
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting): Personal goals are critical when a person wants to achieve
mightily in life, and the ability to focus and plan for achievement begins
in high school. The feeling of accomplishment after reaching a difficult
goal is worth the required effort.
Thesis: Because fitness and strength are critical when playing contact sports,
especially varsity football, this fitness plan will focus on enhancing cardiovascular endurance and strength and improving nutrition.
Implied
Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: The first element of this fitness plan is
to improve and increase cardiovascular capacity.

Evidence: Day-by-day plan for building up cardio capacity gradually to
avoid injury. Perhaps include a calendar at the end with the three
elements mapped out daily.
Compose Yourself!
page 124
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: Once cardiovascular capacity is improv-
ing, begin to build overall body strength.

Evidence: Day-by-day weight lifting plan to gradually build up strength
to avoid injury. Perhaps include a calendar at the end with all three
elements mapped out daily.
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: As a result of increased overall fitness,
ones body begins to crave nutritious food. However, there may still be a
desire to cheat sometimes, so developing an appealing and effective nutrition plan is essential.
Evidence: Description of an athletes nutritionally balanced diet, includ-
ing day-by-day healthy menus and a food journal.
Conclusion
Universal application (see lead-in introductory paragraph): This plan must to be
followed closely in order to produce the goal of being a first-string member

of the varsity football team in the fall. It is the initial step to improving
athletic performance and becoming the best athlete possible.
Compose Yourself!
page 125
Notes
Compose Yourself!
page 126
TIPS FOR WRITING A PROPOSITION-SUPPORT (PERSUASIVE) ESSAY

Proposition is a fancy word for argument. The purpose of a proposition-support
essay is to be as convincing as possible, and to convince readers to accept the
proposition as true. A proposition-support essay uses logic, reason, and evidence
to show that one idea is more legitimate than another. The argument must always use sound reasoning and solid evidence by stating facts, giving logical reasons, using examples, and quoting reliable experts. Though the goal is to convince others that a thesis statement is valid, it is important to remember that reasonable people can disagree. The act of writing the essay should help both the
writer and the reader to examine their own and others' assumptions and ideas
more carefully. Writing a proposition-support essay helps students to weigh evidence, clearly state ideas, fairly consider the claims of the opposition, and justify
the position taken.
It is critically important that the tone of a proposition-support essay be reasonable, and that the presentation be factual and believable. Additionally, although this type of essay reflects the writers opinion, the first-person point of view
is not appropriate in analytical essays.
Consider the following sentences:
I believe that all school students should wear uniforms.

All school students should wear uniforms.
The first sentence uses the first person. This would work in a narrative, but here it
limits the meaning of the sentence to just the writer, and it makes the writer
sound weakas if she is justifying herself. The second sentence is much more
forceful. It makes a statement and does not restrict itself to only what the writer
believes.
Compose Yourself!
page 127
IMPORTANT: A convincing argument does the following:

Anticipates and refutes reader objections in advance; and
Uses an objective, reasonable tone.
It is never wise to attack a reader:
It is obvious that Americans must be able to legally carry concealed weapons.

The power of the crazy anti-gun lobby to block gun ownership has created an
unsafe environment.
In this example, by stating, "It is obvious" the writer insults the reader's intelligence
in advance. Then the writer reverts to name-calling ("crazy"), a further insult to
those who support gun control. It could all be true, but why should the reader
accept the premise?
Compare:
Given the increase in gun violence on the streets of the United States, Congress would be wise to consider a federal law allowing all U.S. citizens to
carry concealed weapons in public. The Constitution provides for this right and
if private citizens carry guns, then criminals would think twice before victimizing the community.
It's important to be fair and to keep the writing voice modulated, reasonable,
and as objective as possible. Do not insult the reader!
Compose Yourself!
page 128
IMPORTANT: A writer, thinker, learner should be able to effectively argue both sides
on an argumentno matter his personal opinion or beliefs. In fact, it is good
practice to write the opposing argument; it strengthens the writers understanding of the issue and helps her to intelligently, rather than emotionally,
rebut opposition arguments.
INTRODUCTION
Lead-in: How will this proposition-support essay help someone better understand the proposition and agree with it? Why is agreement important in the
big picture?
Thesis statement: In a proposition-support essay, the thesis statement needs

to express a clear point-of-view or opinionno wishy-washy thesis statements allowed!

explicit (a stand-alone sentence).
BODY OF THE ESSAY

Identify the areas that need to be addressed. Use statistics, research, real-life experiences, and/or examples from credible experts to support the argument.
Some options for organization include the following:
Generate a hypothetical instance: Used particularly when the writer wants
the reader to consider a different point of view.
Clarify a position: Differentiate between what information needs to be explained and what can be assumed.
Think through a process to propose an improvement: Dissect the procedure
from start to finish, providing any background information a reader might
need.
Analyze: Look at the parts of the proposition to help the reader to better
understand the whole issue.
Draw an analogy: Explain or elaborate on an idea by identifying significant
Compose Yourself!
page 129
likenesses between two objects, situations, or ideas when otherwise they

are quite different. This is particularly helpful when the comparison is made
to something familiar to the reader.
IMPORTANT: The goal is to convince the opposition! In order to write an effective
proposition-support essay, the writer must anticipate and overcome objections that an adversary might raise. Ask these questions:
What are the strongest, most compelling arguments made against this
proposition?
How can the writer defend this proposition against these arguments?
What are the arguments weakest points?
What are the weak links in the opposition's thinking?
Don't try to look good by mentioning only weaker opposition arguments. When
defending the con side of the argument, try to view the issue through the eyes of
the adversaries and draw out the best ideas they might use against the original
proposition. Think about how to refute the opposition's justifications. Once those
arguments have been addressed, check the original proposition to see if it needs
revision.
TRANSITIONS
sufficient evidence, conclusion, viewpoint, opinion, topic is, belief, idea,
hypotheses, theory, proof, logic, research, expert verification, reason
CONCLUSION
Compose Yourself!
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Cons
Classify/summarize the cons.

Is there a common thread among the cons?
How might the cons be described?
Summary of Cons:
TOPIC:
Compose Yourself!
Possible Thesis:
page 131
What Arguments Might Be Raised Against the Thesis? (Look at Pros and Cons)
there be pros without cons?
Relationship: Does a relationship exist between the pros and cons? How do they influence each other? Can the cons be mitigated? Can
Classify/summarize the pros.

Is there a common thread among the pros?
How might the pros be described?
Summary of Pros:
Pros
PROPOSITION-SUPPORT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
Games are violent

Dont accomplish anything real
Its a waste of time
Requires decision-making, problem-solving skills
Consequences to actions in game
Develops persistence
Compose Yourself!
The pros of playing video games are actually what teachers and parents say they want kids to dosolve problems,
develop persistence, and understand consequences.
Classify/summarize the pros.

Is there a common thread among the pros?
How might the pros be described?
Summary of Pros:
Too much time inside watching TV
Active imaginative engagement, not like watching TV
page 132
The cons of playing video games are similar to those of

reading (passive, can show violence, can be used as an
excuse to waste time and procrastinate). Also, academic
work doesnt accomplish anything real either.
Classify/summarize the cons.

Is there a common thread among the cons?
How might the cons be described?
Summary of Cons:
Used to avoid doing real things
Cons of playing video games
achievement?
TOPIC: Is playing video games detrimental to academic
Pros of playing video games
PROPOSITION-SUPPORT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER
Compose Yourself!
page 133
The cons seem to involve a misunderstanding about what video games require of players. Will need to include lots of
examples from actual video games to refute this argument. Also, there will always be unbalanced people who will
misunderstand or abuse the representations of violence on video games, television shows, etc. They need help, its
true, but banning video games is not the way to solve the problem.
What Arguments Might Be Raised Against the Thesis? (Look at Pros and Cons)
Possible Thesis: Contrary to popular belief, playing video games actually enhances positive academic behaviors, honing decision-making and problem-solving skills, persistence, and the understanding of consequences.
The cons seem to involve a misunderstanding about what video games require of players. Have the people who denigrate video games ever actually played them?
there be pros without cons?
Relationship: Does a relationship exist between the pros and cons? How do they influence each other? Can the cons be mitigated? Can
PROPOSITION-SUPPORT ANALYSIS ORGANIZER (CONT.)
SAMPLE PROPOSITION-SUPPORT TEMPLATE

TOPIC: Is playing video games detrimental to academic achievement?
TEXT STRUCTURE: Proposition-Support
Introduction
Lead-in (this is the universal concept that makes the specific thesis statement interesting): How many times have parents and teachers discussed the detrimen-
tal effects video games have on students educational and interpersonal development? Too many to count. What they do not realize is that they could
not be more wrong about their assumptions.
Thesis: Contrary to popular belief, playing video games actually enhances posi-
tive academic behaviors, honing decision-making and problem-solving

skills, persistence, and the understanding of consequences.
Implied
Supporting Idea I Summary Sentence: The choices a player has to make to
move up to the next level require split-second decision-making. Similarly,

in order to work though the mistakes that have prevented a high score,
the player must engage in complex problemsolving.
Evidence: Examples from specific games. Video games not passive like
reading and watching TV.
Compose Yourself!
page 134
Supporting Idea II Summary Sentence: Many teachers and parents complain of
a lack of persistence in the younger generation. They obviously have not

watched students play video games. Players spend hours experimenting,
practicing, and improving their skills so they can succeed.
Evidence: Specific examples of hours spent playing and what it accom-
plished. Can transfer this persistence to schoolwork.
Supporting Idea III Summary Sentence: Even though some video games can be
violent, there are always consequences to actions taken when playing.

Evidence: Examples from specific games. There will always be those few
people who cannot differentiate between pretend and real violence

and these types of people will never change heir attitude. Its
nothing new.
Conclusion
Universal application (see lead-in introductory paragraph): Playing video games
is actually beneficial to ones academic achievement. So play on!
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Notes
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R UBRICS FOR A SSESSMENT
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BUILDING RUBRICS
All written work should be assessed using a rubricthat is, a set of criteria linked
to standards and used to assess a student's performance on papers, projects,
essays, and other complex assignments. Detailed rubrics allow for more uniform
instruction and evaluation according to specified criteria, making assessment
simpler and more transparent.
The rubric informs the student what is important about the assignment. It allows
teachers and students alike to learn and assess the criteria, self-reflect, and participate in peer review. Although not perfect, rubrics encourage accurate and
fair assessment, deep student understanding, and thoughtful reflection on subsequent learning and teaching. The following diagnostic rubrics have been created for secondary teachers involved in the FLEX Team process to use with each
text structure. However, they are effective even when not linked to FLEX Team
analysis.
For additional information about FLEX Teams, see www.aypconsulting.org.
The rubrics listed are for ninth grade cross-curricular writing. If ninth grade writers
are proficient according to these rubrics, then students, teachers and parents
alike will be happy! Each grade level can develop its own rubrics using those
provided as a guide.
Start with a four-point rubric: Exemplary (4), Proficient (3), Zone of Proximal Development (2), and Significant Reteaching (1). In all rubric writing, begin by describing the criteria for proficientnot averagework. It is impossible to know
what is Exemplary or Zone of Proximal Development writing when unclear about
what students need to know and be able to do in order to be considered proficient.
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After determining the qualitative characteristics of a proficient paper (not quantitative, not limited to seven grammar mistakes [quantitative], but rather expresses a clear thesis statement [qualitative]), develop the description of an essay that is still in the Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD). The ZPD describes the
difference between what a learner can do without help and what he can accomplish with assistance. Sometimes it is referred to as using but confusing
concepts and skills or close, but not quite. No one becomes proficient at anything without moving through her ZPD first.
The concept of scaffolding is closely related to ZPD. Scaffolding is a process

through which a teacher or more competent peer gives aid to students in their
ZPD as necessary and tapers this aid as it becomes unnecessary, just as a scaffold is removed from a building during construction.
Proficient and ZPD are the two most important levels of written work to describe
because they determine which students can continue to practice writing independently and which require some reteaching. Those students writing and thinking at the ZPD level will need some reteaching of the knowledge or skills they are
using but confusing. Once these two indicators are in place, describing an essay in the Significant Reteaching range is relatively simple; it has few or none of
the qualities described as proficient.
Only after determining the Proficient, ZPD, and Significant Reteaching descriptions of student work can an Exemplary piece of work be described. This is because Exemplary does not indicate the writing is above and beyond. It is not
fair to students to declare that the only way to score at the Exemplary level is to
do things the teacher did not teach them how to do. What differentiates an Exemplary essay from one that is simply Proficient is concise thinking and writing.
These are the essays that say only what is necessary and no more, no less. Students who are writing at this level are using cumulative subject-area vocabulary,
precise general vocabulary, and sophisticated and transparent transition language. The only way to move to the Exemplary level is to become proficient and
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then practice, practice, practice. This is why it is so critical for all teachers to assign some writing in their classrooms and why the focus in this guide is on proficient, rather than exemplary, writing.
Within the four performance levels, the criteria are divided into four distinct
areas:
Structure of ArgumentDoes the essay have a clear thesis statement and
appropriate supporting evidence? Does it lead the reader through the
argument effectively? This is the only part of the rubric that changes
slightly from text structure to text structure.
Use of LanguageIs the language appropriate for the purpose, audience, and subject area? Is it formal, clear, and correct?
Knowledge of Concept/FactsDoes the essay accurately describe, explain, and incorporate appropriate subject-area facts and concepts?
Integration/Quality of AnalysisDoes the essay make connections between and among ideas and concepts and appropriately apply ideas to
real-world examples discussed in class?
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SAMPLE NINTH GRADE GENERAL WRITING RUBRIC

General Rubric
This is a general analytical writing rubric. Specific Structure of Argument rubrics
for each of the six different text structures follow.
Proficient
Exemplary
Structure of ArgumentThesis statement is
Structure of ArgumentThesis statement is
appropriate and concise; supporting evi-
clear and there is appropriate supporting
dence is well-chosen and transparently
evidence to lead the reader through the
leads the reader through the argument:
argument effectively:
Tight, analytical thesis statement;

At least three relevant and noteworthy
Well-defined, analytical thesis statement;

At least three relevant supporting ideas;
supporting ideas;
Pertinent evidence supports argument;
Pertinent evidence supports argument;
and
and
Appropriate transition language leads
Relevant and sophisticated transition
the reader through the argument.
language effortlessly leads the reader

through the argument.
Use of LanguageThe language is appropriate for the purpose, audience, and sub-
Use of LanguageThe language is sophis-
ject area:
ticated, precise, and appropriate for the
Relevant general and subject-area
purpose, audience, and subject area:
vocabulary;
Cumulative subject-area vocabulary
Formal academic language;
and precise general vocabulary; and
Analytical, unemotional, language; and
Formal academic language with recog-
Suitable transition language that leads
nizable and appropriate style and voice.
Knowledge of Concept/FactsAuthor
reader through argument.
Knowledge of Concept/Facts Author
accurately describes, explains, and incor-
accurately describes, explains, and applies
porates sophisticated subject-area facts
useful subject-area facts and concepts.
and concepts.
Integration/Quality of IdeasWriter makes
Integration/Quality of IdeasMakes
appropriate connections between and
unusual connections between and among
among ideas and concepts, transfers ideas
ideas and concepts, applies and extends
discussed in class to real-world examples.
ideas discussed in class to real-world examples.
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General Rubric (cont.)

Zone of Proximal Development
Structure of ArgumentThesis statement
Significant Reteaching
is partial, non-analytical, or wishy-washy;
Structure of ArgumentThere is no clear

thesis statement, no clear supporting
there is some supporting evidence, and
evidence, and no organizational
some attempt to lead the reader
structure.
through the argument.
Use of LanguageLanguage is inappro-
Use of LanguageLanguage is often,
priate for the purpose, audience, and
but not always, appropriate for the
subject area.
purpose, audience, and subject area.
Knowledge of Concept/Facts Little or
Knowledge of Concept/Facts Author
no description, explanation, or applica-
partially describes, explains, and uses
tion of appropriate subject-area facts
pertinent subject-area facts and
and concepts included.
concepts.
Integration/Quality of IdeasNo or
Integration/Quality of IdeasWriter
irrelevant connections between and
makes some connections between and
among ideas and concepts and no
among ideas and concepts and
effort made to apply ideas discussed in
attempts to apply ideas, which may or
class to real-world examples.
may not be relevant or appropriate, to

real-world examples.
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SPECIFIC STRUCTURE OF ARGUMENT CRITERIA FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE

Compare-Contrast Structure of Argument Criteria
Exemplary
The essay includes a concise thesis statement, appropriate and well-chosen
supporting evidence, and transparently leads the reader through the argument:
Concisely explains how the compare-contrast can help someone better understand the ideas/objects being compared and why this is important in the
big picture, making insightful connections in the process;
Begins with a concise, analytical thesis statement that effectively summarizes

the most critical similarities and differences in the topic;
Includes at least three appropriate and exceptional supporting ideas;
Uses relevant and well-chosen evidence to support the argument; and
Employs accurate transition language to effortlessly lead the reader through

the argument.
Proficient
The essay includes a well-defined thesis statement, appropriate supporting
evidence, and effectively leads the reader through the argument:
Clearly explains how the compare-contrast will help someone better understand the ideas/objects being compared and why topic is important in the
big picture;
Begins with a clear, analytical thesis statement that effectively summarizes

the major similarities and differences in the topic;
Includes at least three appropriate supporting ideas;
Uses pertinent evidence to support argument; and
Employs relevant transition language to lead the reader through the

argument effectively.

The essay includes only a partial thesis statement and/or some supporting
evidence.
The essay includes little or no thesis statement, little or no supporting evidence,
and does not lead the reader through the argument.
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Cause-Effect Structure of Argument Criteria

Exemplary
Concisely explains how the causes and/or effects help someone better understand this topic AND why this topic is important in the big picture, making
insightful connections;
Has a concise, analytical thesis statement that summarizes the patterns and
relationships within and between the most significant causes and/or effects
related to the topic;
Has at least three appropriate and exceptional supporting ideas;
Has appropriate and well-chosen evidence used to support argument; and
Uses relevant transition language to transparently lead the reader through

the argument.
Proficient
Clearly explains how the causes and/or effects help someone better understand this topic and why this topic is important in the big picture;
Begins with a clear, analytical thesis statement that summarizes the patterns
and relationships within and between the most significant causes and/or effects related to the topic;
Employs relevant transition language to lead the reader through the

argument effectively.

evidence.
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Problem-Solution Structure of Argument Criteria

Exemplary
Concisely explains how the problem-solution essay can help someone better
understand the problem, why it needs to be solved, why the solution(s) is important in the big picture, making insightful connections in the process;
Begins with a concise, analytical thesis statement summarizing both the problem and the possible solution(s).
Uses pertinent and well-chosen evidence to support argument; and

the argument.
Proficient
Clearly explains how the problem-solution essay can help someone better
understand the problem, why it needs to be solved, and why the solution(s) is
important in the big picture;
Begins with a clear, analytical thesis statement that summarizes both the
problem and the possible solution(s);
Employs relevant transition language to effectively lead the reader through

the argument.

evidence.
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Concept-Definition Structure of Argument Criteria

Exemplary
Concisely explains how the concept-definition essay can help someone

better understand the concept and why understanding the concept is
important in the big picture, making insightful connections in the process;
Begins with a concise, analytical thesis statement summarizing the definition

of the concept;

the argument.
Proficient
Clearly explains how the concept-definition essay can help someone better
understand the concept and why understanding the concept is important in
the big picture;
Begins with a clear, analytical thesis statement summarizing the definition of

the concept;
Uses pertinent evidence to support the argument; and

the argument.

evidence.
The essay includes no thesis statement, no supporting evidence, and does not
lead the reader through the argument.
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Goal-Action-Outcome Structure of Argument Criteria

Exemplary
Concisely explains how the goal-action-outcome essay can help someone

better understand how or why something occurs and why it is important in
the big picture, making insightful connections in the process;
Begins with a concise, analytical thesis statement articulating a clear goal

and the reason for the goal;

the argument.
Proficient
Clearly explains how the goal/action/outcome essay can help someone better understand how or why something occurs and why doing it is important in
the big picture;
Begins with a clear, analytical thesis statement articulating a specific goal

and the reason for the goal;

the argument.

evidence.
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Proposition-Support Structure of Argument Criteria

Exemplary
Concisely explains how the proposition-support essay can help someone better understand and agree with the proposition and why agreement is important in the big picture, making insightful connections in the process.
Begins with a concise, analytical thesis statement expressing a clear point of

view or opinion.
Uses pertinent appropriate and well-chosen evidence used to support

argument; and

the argument.
Proficient
Clearly explains how the proposition-support essay can help someone better
understand and agree with the proposition and why agreement is important
in the big picture;
Begins with a clear, analytical thesis statement expressing a clear point of

view or opinion;

the argument.

evidence.
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Notes
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W RITING IN ALL
S UBJECT A REAS
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TRANSLATING THE ELEMENTS OF ANALYTICAL WRITING FOR CORE SUBJECTS

Because writing is thinking, the organization of an individuals writing reflects both
the structure of her thinking and the depth of her understanding. Students should
be writing (and thinking!) continually, explaining what they know and how they
know it. That is why it is essential for all teachers in a particular school (or district)
to provide students with at least some analytical writing assignments in their
classrooms.
The elements of an analytical essay described in this guide are present in all nonfiction text structures. However, they may have different names in different subject areas. This chart identifies what each structural element is called in each of
the core subjects:
Thesis
Statement
Evidence/Proof
Conclusion
(one sentence)
Literature
&
Language
Quotations from the

text(s)
Thesis
Statement
Arts
History/
Social
Studies
Thesis
Statement
OR
Historical
Argument
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Examples from within

and between the
text(s)
Compare-Contrast
Concept-Definition
Conclusion
Proposition-Support
Analysis by literary
critics
Historical examples
from primary source
documents
Interpretations from
academic historians
(secondary sources)
Examples of previous
events or predictions
based on prior
examples
Most Common
Text Structures
Cause-Effect
Conclusion
Cause-Effect
OR
Compare-Contrast
Historical
Interpretation
Concept-Definition
Proposition-Support
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Thesis
Statement
Evidence/Proof
Conclusion
(one sentence)
Hypothesis:
Science
What is being
proven?
Experimental results of
others
Students own
experimental results
Calculations
Math
Goal
Statement:
What is being
solved?
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Logical proofs
(geometry)
Analysis linked using
transitional phrases
Most Common
Text Structures
Results/
Analysis
Conclusion
Goal-ActionOutcome (lab report)
Was the
hypothesis
proven or
disproven? How
and why?
Outcome
Statement
(one sentence)
Cause-Effect
Compare-Contrast
Concept-Definition
Goal-ActionOutcome
Cause-Effect
What is the
answer to the
problem in
context?
Compare-Contrast
Concept-Definition
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WRITING IN MATH: JUST THE (MATH) FACTS, MAAM

Each subject area involves different terminology and types of supporting evidence and examples. Writing in math, for example, will not be a block of text; it
will not be narrative writing. Instead math texts will be primarily goal-actionoutcome. For the most part, a written explanation in math will be only one or two
paragraphs. It will begin with a one-sentence goal statement, followed by supporting evidence in the form of calculations and/or proofs, connected by transitional words, and finally an outcome stated in a complete sentence. Writing in
math leads the reader through the problem solving so a peer or teacher can
understand and correct the thinking, where necessary.
Not all math problems require written answers. Perhaps the last few questions on
a test will be complex, real-world application problems like the one below:
Geometry Assignment (figure not to scale)

A
1 mile
Going from his own house (A) to Rauls

X
house (D), Mark drives due south one
mile, due east three miles, and due

south again for three miles. What is the
distance between the two houses as

the crow flies? Explain, in writing and using appropriate math terminology and
notation, how to prove that ABX ~
DCX. Use corresponding side lengths
D
z
3 miles
of the triangles to calculate BX and use

the Pythagorean Theorem to calculate
AX and then DX. Then find AD.
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Sample Response:
The Pythagorean Theorem and its associated corollaries are critical when
finding the distance between two points. In fact, all GPS navigation systems
rely on the Pythagorean Theorem to determine location in space. (Lead-in)
Although slightly simpler, finding the distance between Raul and Marks
houses uses the Pythagorean Theorem and associated corollaries, in the same
way. (Goal Statement) Employing the AA Similarity Postulate to prove that
the triangles created on the map are similar allows the use of the Pythagorean Theorem to solve for the exact distance between the two houses.
(Statement of Structure)
(Supporting evidence/details)
Proof:
ABX and DCX are right triangles; as a result, AXB and CXD are vertical angles, therefore similar, according to the AA (angle-angle) Similarity
Postulate. Because the sum of all angles in a triangle is always 180 and each
of these triangles has one right angle and one similar angle, it follows that
the third angle in each triangle is also similar. Therefore, ABX ~ DCX.
In order to find the length of BX, develop a ratio of similar triangles using
the measurements that were given in the problem:
1 mile (AB) = 4 miles (AZ)
BX
3 miles (CD)
1(3) = 4(BX)
3 = BX
4
BX = miles or .75 miles

Then, using the Pythagorean Theorem (a2+b2=c2), find AX, DX, and AD.
(1 mile)2 + ( miles)2 = (AX)2 1 +9/16 = (AX)2 25/16 = (AX)2
AX = 5/4 or 1.25 miles
Continued
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(3 miles)2 + (1.25)2 = (DX)2 9+ 1.56 = (DX)2 10.56 = (DX)2

DX = 13/4 or 3.25 miles
32 + 42 = (AD)2
this is a 3-4-5 triangle

AD = 5 miles
Therefore, using ratios of similar right triangles and the Pythagorean

Theorem, the distance between Raul and Marks houses as the crow flies is 5
miles. (Outcome Statement)
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Writing in Science: The Lab Report
Science lab reports are a specialized goal-action-outcome text structure:

Goal: To prove or disprove the hypothesis
Action: The materials and procedures required
Outcome: The analysis and conclusion
While other text structures can also be used in science, the lab report is the staple of science education. Whenever students do an experiment they should report their results in this format because it remains the same from Kindergarten
through graduate school. The only elements of a lab report that change from
year to year are the complexity of the experiments and equipment and whether
it is original research or the repeat of a famous experiment. The following is a
brief description of what must be included in an acceptable lab report:
Identify yourself and your partner(s)
Title of the lab/activity. It is not a creative title as described in this guides Title
section; rather it is purely descriptive:
The Mean Number of Jumping Jacks Completed by Our Lab Group in

One Minute
PurposeWhy study this problem?

State the objective. What concept or skill is highlighted by this activity? Ask,
Why did we do this? What were we supposed to learn or practice?
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IntroductionWhat is the problem or issue being addressed?

The introduction to a lab report should identify the problem or issue to be
solved or the experiment to be performed and explain its purpose and significance in one or two sentences, providing any necessary background information the reader needs. It ends with an hypothesis; one sentence that specifically states the question the experiment is designed to answer.
Note on Verb Tense:

Introductions often create difficulties for those who struggle with
keeping verb tenses straight. These two points should help to navigate the introduction:
The report, the theory, and permanent equipment still exist;
therefore, these items are in the present tense: "The purpose
of this report is...," "Bragg's Law for diffraction is...," "The

scanning electron microscope produces micrographs...
The experiment has been completed. Use the past tense
when discussing it. "The objective of the experiment was..."
The objective of this experiment was to determine the mean number of

jumping jacks completed by our lab group in one minute. (purpose
statement)
AND
Our hypothesis is that our group can complete a mean number of 60

jumping jacks in one minute. (hypothesis)
Materials
This section describes how and when students conducted the experiment, including the experimental design (what they did), experimental apparatus
(materials), methods of gathering and analyzing data, and types of control.
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Often these types of information are complied in the form of a table.
Materials:
Stop-watch
Space in which to do jumping jacks
Paper
Pencil
ProcedureWhat was done? How was it done?

For the beginner, this is probably the most difficult part of the report. Up to this
point in school most student writing has been descriptive. Technical writing,
on the other hand, is "cut and dried, conveying a mental picture of what
occurred. Write about only what has transpired, so the reader can visualize
the set-up. Be sure to include reference to any equipment used (e.g., We
used a stop watch to time each person). The instructions must be very specific, though ordinal phrases are not necessary (i.e., first, second, third, etc.),
since that information is conveyed by the sentence order in the description. A
diagram or picture of the apparatus may be helpful, but it should not replace
a good verbal description.
Remember that based on the lab report, members of the audience should
be able to repeat the procedure exactly if they are so inclined.
Reminders:
Emotions (This was hard. This was fun.) are not relevant in a lab report.
Fill out lab reports in the past tense because the experiment is finished.
Write complete sentences.
Use either first person active voice or passive voice to describe the lab
procedures.
First person active voice: I timed each group member.
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Passive voice: Each group member was timed.
Observations & Data (Outcome)What were the results?

This section comprises only those aspects of the experiment the student saw,
heard, touched, or smelled (never taste anything in a science lab). Observations and data are presented without interpretations or conclusions.
Both quantitative (numerical) and qualitative (sensory, not emotional) observations are noted. Units are necessary when recording measurements, but a
value that cannot be measured directly (such as density) should not be included as data. Quantitative observations are best presented in data tables.
Qualitative observations may be organized in table form or paragraph form.
When uncertain whether something should be included ask, "How did I get
this piece of information? What instrument did I use to collect this information?" The goal is to present all the data collected in a clear and easily understood format. Well-organized well-written results provide the framework for
the discussion section.
Reminders:
Record all information in the order the observations were made, writing
in complete sentences.
Use both words and numbers to define the data, employing proper scientific terminology and units of measure.
Tables and graphs supplement the text and present the data in a more
understandable form. Raw data is usually supplied in table format, with
the highlights summarized in graph form.
The written text of the results section may be as short as one sentence
summarizing the salient points and directing the reader to specific tables
and figures.
Include results that went wrong" or were unexpected. This can be use-
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ful for someone trying to repeat the experiment.

Sample or detailed calculations for a lab report may be included in either a separate section titled Calculations or in an appendix at the end
of the report.
Analysis of Data (Discussion)What do they mean? How do the results relate

to previous work in the field?
This is the section where students show any calculations based on their data.
Both the formula and the measurements for each computation must be included, followed by the solution. Once there is a sample calculation, a data
table can show other calculated values of the same type. This is also the appropriate place to explain how the measurements relate to each other and
discuss anything that happened during the activity that might have affected
the data.
Students must explain what they think their collected data mean:
Describe patterns and relationships that emerged;
Discuss what was observed, why it happened (or the most likely reason),
and how it relates to the purpose of the experiment;
Compare these results to trends described in the literature and/or by
theoretical behavior.
Support interpretations by incorporating course material, the lab manual, and comments from the teacher. For more in-depth discussion, read
other resources, like peer-reviewed journal articles. If outside sources are
used, reference the information properly.
Write descriptively. Readers might jump to the Discussion section first in
order to discover what happened, so provide enough information for
them to understand what occurred. Remind the reader of the outcome
without repeating endless details from Results.
The temperature increased during the second phase because of

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the drug treatment. (Discussion Statement)

NOT
The temperature increased during the second phase. (repetition

of Results Statement)
When the Results section is well organized, it can be a guide to writing

the Discussion section. Refer to the same tables and figures to explain
the changes/trends/unexpected results.
Accept or reject the hypothesis and explain why (it is acceptable to reject an hypothesis that has been proven untrue). If applicable, explain
why the results did not turn out as predicted. If something went horribly
wrong or was damaged, disturbed, or contaminated; if there were
changes to the experimental procedure; or if the equipment was faulty
include that information and explain how it may have affected the results.
If the lab instructions include questions to be answered in the Discussion,

integrate the answers into a logical examination, rather than answering
them one-by-one. Don't include only the answers to the questionsuse
them as a guideline to supplement discussion, not limit it.
Conclusion
This is the section of the lab report where the writer discusses how the purpose of the activity relates to the analysis of the data and how it can be
applied to the real world. Conclusions are connections that are not obvious
on the surface. In other words, what did the writer learn? Stick to the facts.
This is not the place to comment on whether or not the activity was enjoyable. If the results were not satisfactory, suggest how the activity could be
improved to give better data. Were questions raised that cannot be an-
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swered? This is the place to mention them. Also, include any recommendations for further research or changes for the next time that might generate
more significant or noteworthy results.
10
Tables and Figures (only if required)

Tables and figures are often used in a report to present complicated data.
Use the following guidelines to incorporate them effectively.
Tables are referred to as tables. All other items (graphs, photographs,
drawings, diagrams, maps, etc.) are referred to as figures.
All tables and figures must be numbered, assigned in the order they are
mentioned in the text. However, they are numbered independently of
each other (i.e., Table 1 and Table 2, and then Figure 1 and Figure 2).
All tables and figures must include self-explanatory titles so the reader
can understand their content without the text:
Table 1. Number of jumping jacks completed by each group

member in one minute
Tables are usually labeled at the top and figures at the bottom.
Each table or figure must be introduced within the text, summarizing the
highlight(s) or significant trends only:
Do not write:
Amy completed 60 jumping jacks in one minute, Joe completed

54 jumping jacks in one minute, Frank completed 57 jumping
jacks in one minute, and Jill completed 59 jumping jacks in one
minute.
Simply state:
Members of the group completed different numbers of jumping
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jacks in one minute (Figure 1).

Tables and figures may be placed either at the end of the report, or as
soon as possible within the text without causing an interruption (i.e., at
the end of a paragraph or section).
Avoid referring to the table below because often the final placement
of the table will be uncertain. Instead, refer to the specific table or figure
number; the readers can always find the information.
Though tables and figures enhance a report, the reader should be able
to understand and follow the results even if they are removed.
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SAMPLE LAB REPORT

Identify yourself: Amy, Joe, Frank, and Jill
Title: The Mean Number of Jumping Jacks Completed by Our Lab Group in
One Minute
Purpose:
The objective of this experiment was to determine the mean number of jumping jacks completed by our lab group in one minute. Our hypothesis is that we
will be able to complete a mean number of 60 jumping jacks within that time.
Materials:
Stop watch
Space in which to do jumping jacks
Paper
Pencil
Procedure:
1. Clear space to do jumping jacks.
2. Designate one person in the group as the timer.
3. Each person takes a turn being timed doing jumping jacks for one minute.
4. Someone switches places with the timer so that she can be also be
timed.
5. Record all the data.
6. Figure out the mean a + b + c + d = x.
Mean = x number of students in the group
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Observations & Data

Table 1: Number of jumping jacks completed by each student in one minute
Students
Number completed
Each member of the group
Amy
60
completed a different num-
Joe
54
Frank
57
Jill
59
ber of jumping jacks, but

none did fewer than 54 or
more than 60 (See Table 1).
Analysis of Data
Each person in the group performed a different number of jumping jacks in
one minute. None of us could do more than 60 jumping jacks, so it appears no
one can do more than one jumping jack per second. However, the two tallest
participants did the most jumping jacks.
60 + 54 + 57 + 59 = 230
2304 = 57.5
Mean = 57.5
Conclusion
Our hypothesis was incorrect. The mean number of jumping jacks our group
completed in one minute was 57.5, not 60. Even though we are all 12 or 13
years old, we have different physical capabilities. In case the timing was not
exact, we should verify our results by repeating the experiment using a different timer. In addition, this lab
60
group could work on its general
59
fitness and try the experiment
58
again to see if that will have an
57
impact on the results.
56
Tables and Figures
55
Figure 1. Members of the groups
54
completed different numbers of
53
jumping jacks in one minute.
52
Series2
51
Jumping Jacks in one Minute
Compose Yourself!
Amy
Joe
Frank
Jill
60
54
57
59
page 167
ANALYTICAL WRITING IDEAS FOR NON-CORE SUBJECTS
The core subjects are defined as literature and language arts, history/social studies, science, and mathematics. However, thinking is important across the curriculum. A few formal writing assignments or projects each semester for students in
these subjects will further their analytical thinking skills, deepen their content
knowledge, and improve their overall achievement. In order to provide a jumpstart, here are some sample topics in other subjects:
World
Language
SUBJECT
SAMPLE PROMPTS
Compare and contrast the education systems of the United
States and (country). [compare-contrast]
Explain the defining characteristics of the culture of (country).
[concept-definition]
Compare and contrast the verb tenses in English and (language). [compare-contrast]
Art
What defines pointillist art? [concept-definition]

What choices did you make when creating your sculpture and
why? [concept-definition or proposition-support]
Review the (title) exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art. [proposition-support]
Music
Critique your performance (or the ensembles performance) of

(title). [concept-definition or proposition-support]
Explain the science behind the production of sound in your instrument. [cause-effect]
Compare and contrast how two different instruments playing
the same piece of music can convey different moods.
[compare-contrast]
Compose Yourself!
page 168
P.E.
SUBJECT
SAMPLE PROMPTS
Was the referee/umpire who made the (real-life controversial
call) correct or incorrect? Why or why not? [propositionsupport]
Define sportsmanship. [concept-definition]
Health
What is the purpose of rules and regulations in sport? [conceptdefinition or cause-effect]

Describe the path of a cheeseburger as it is digested. Begin in
the mouth and end with excretion. Describe where and how
each part of the cheeseburger is broken down, identifying all
the chemicals and enzymes involved. [goal-action-outcome]
Develop a plan to effectively fight childhood obesity. [problemsolution]
Philosophy
Should the use of alternative medicine be covered by medical

insurance? Why or why not? [proposition-support]
Is man the creator and mover of his life, or does he live at the
mercy of forces over which he has little control? Does free will
exist or is how he conducts his life determined by outside factors? [proposition-support or concept-definition]
What is the ideal relationship between the individual and the
state? Should the individual serve the state or should the state
serve the individual? [proposition-support]
Science,
Technology, Engineering &
Mathematics
(STEM)
Who should control educating a nations children? Parents?

Students? The state? [proposition-support]
How could the heat exchanger be modified on a heat pump
to allow someone to heat his pool while at the same time cooling his home? [goal-action-outcome or cause-effect]
Explain how wind turbines work and how they can be used.
[goal-action-outcome]
Compare and contrast the inner workings of a refrigerator and
a room air conditioner. [compare-contrast]
Compose Yourself!
page 169
GO FORTH AND PROSPER

The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems
before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise.
We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest
we wait forever before taking action. It's still good advice to cross bridges
as we come to them.
David Joseph Schwartz
Teaching effective expository writing and thinking is not as easy as some might
like, but it is certainly not as hard as many fear. The pieces have been broken
down and explained. Now the effort is up to all of you.
Initially, teachers instruction and students products will not be perfect, even
with this guide. The only way to become a fluent writer and thinker, and to eventually do much of what is in this guide in ones head, is to practice, practice,
practice.
The good news is that if all teachers in a school are working from this guide, the
instruction is shared among the staff. It takes more than one educator to provide
the amount of information, instruction and practice necessary to significantly improve students writing and thinking. However, even if you are working alone, this
guide is a start. The world is not a perfect place, but we can each do our part in
an attempt to make it so.
Please contact Lightbulb Learning Services via www.lightbulblearning.net with

any feedback, comments, questions, or concerns. This is an iterative process and
we welcome your input as to how to provide students with the skills they will need
to succeed.
Even a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Lets start!
Compose Yourself!
page 170
Notes
Compose Yourself!
page 171

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Yourself!

This book would not have been possible without the

Alan Perlis, computer scientist

BEFORE WRITING BEGINS

GETTING STARTED: THE PIECES OF AN ANALYTICAL ESSAY

THE MANY PIECES BECOME A WHOLE

THINKING & ORGANIZATION TOOLBOX

Tips for Writing a Compare-Contrast Essay..................................................... 89

Tips for Writing a Cause-Effect Essay ............................................................... 95

Sample Completed Cause-Effect Analysis Organizer ............................... 98

Tips for Writing a Problem-Solution Essay ...................................................... 103

Tips for Writing a Concept-Definition (Descriptive) Essay............................ 111

Tips for Writing a Goal-Action-Outcome (Process) Essay ........................... 119

Tips for Writing a Proposition-Support (Persuasive) Essay ............................ 127

RUBRICS FOR ASSESSMENT

WRITING IN ALL SUBJECTS

GO FORTH AND PROSPER

AVAILABLE ONLINE @ WWW.LIGHTBULBLEARNING.NET

Proposition-Support Analysis Organizer

AVAILABLE ONLINE @ WWW.LIGHTBULBLEARNING.NET

WHY REQUIRE ANALYTICAL WRITING IN ALL SUBJECTS?

Encouraging Intellectual Creativity

Narrative vs. Analytical (Expository) Writing

Thinking Made Visible

Provides information and analysis; is

Can be fictitious; no command of the facts necessary

command of the facts

The purposes and methods of organization in narrative and

Teaching & Measuring Student Thinking

Formulaic vs. Structured Writing

Formal vs. Informal Writing

photosynthesis, write, Photosynthesis is the process by which plants

What Not to Worry About

The Compose Yourself! Mantra

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a

Check www.lightbulblearning.net periodically for more news on release dates

B EFORE W RITING B EGINS

TEXT STRUCTURES: ORGANIZING THINKING

BUT FIRST: Learn how to use each text structure by itself.

THE TOPIC: THE BIG QUESTION

POSSIBLE TEXT STRUCTURES

POSSIBLE TEXT STRUCTURE

What really caused

Either a proposition-support (provide an opinion, based

How can the school

Problem-solution OR proposition-support (depending on

How do color choices

Proposition-support OR concept-definition (depending

Does Odysseus fulfill

Concept-definition (define concept of an ancient

What were the major

This one is easycause-effect!

EXAMPLES OF TOPICS FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE

plants and animals

A cause-effect essay first presents

How and why do plants

What should be done

A problem-solution essay informs

How and why do totalitarian governments form?

How can the Federal Reserve help keep economic

EXAMPLES OF TOPICS FOR EACH TEXT STRUCTURE (CONT.)

In a concept-definition essay, the

A proposition-support essay uses