Michael Robert Moore

Com 6280
09/20/2016
PLEASE SEE SYLLABUS FOR ASSIGNMENT HEADING
14 / 20
So there are basic punctuation problems, narrating the action by speaking directly to the reader
and a few confusing sentences. Employ the error key below . . .
~ ERROR KEY CODE ~
PLAGARISM
GRAMMAR / AP STYLE / FACT ERROR
WIND-UP / DOING TOO MUCH = SAYS WHO
You are posing hypotheticals or trying to make/get to a point,
without stating an opinion, when a quote from a source is required to do so.
UNATTRIBUTED OPINION OR POINT OF VIEW = SAYS WHO
Your wording expresses or adopts a point of view.
Your wording shows agreement/disagreement with source.
You are employing creative writing style which includes modifying adjectives.
YOUR VOICE = SAYS WHO
You are narrating / speaking directly to the reader.
You are drawing conclusions the reader must decide = essay/analysis style.
MIND READING
How do you know what your source thinks? Believes?
AWKWARD PHRASING
Stiff or confusing wording you would never use in conversation
Vague / Unclear / Confusing / Wordy
ORGANIZATION

Diverse & Alike

Amanda Rahn is a Wayne State University senior studying print journalism and
she is also the editor of the Arts and Entertainment section of The South End, Wayne
States student newspaper.

Speaking about how she feels alike with She says she felt like her classmates
following a discussion of various outsider experiences, Rahn said that when some of the

other female students discussed their experiences in, patriarchal environments in

which they were demeaned or made to feel lesser.

Ive also experienced that so I understood how they felt in those situations. ,
Rahn said.

One of our classmates mentioned an experience where a man was

uncomfortable asking her for help, despite her being in a position to do so. Ive had
similar experiences in which a male customers will ignore or dismiss my advice. Its
absolutely a frustrating experience. said Rahn.

A white student raised in the Detroit suburb of ______, Rahn

When asked how she said she felt different from the rest of the class Rahn
talked about how when many students of color discussed their experiences with race
and class.

I recognize that I have a lot of privilege in both of those areas, Rahn said.

Being white and middle-class lends me certain benefits that others dont receive.

Also, having grown up in New Baltimore, Michigan, which Rahn describes as a

kind of small, mostly white town. Also what??? Sentence fragment . . . plus its
narrating the action . . .

She said she also noticed the students from Detroit were sensitive about the citys portrayal in
the media.

Rahn said, being from the suburbs and not being from Detroit, there seemed to be a lot
of negativity surrounding being from Detroit.

Rahn said, I definitely dont experience that.

Another way that Rahn felt different from the class was being the only vegetarian.

Rahn said that being a vegetarian was a trivial issue for her because she does not
identify with the culture of vegetarianism but rather maintains the diet for environmental
reasons.

I guess that technically makes me different from other people in the class. Rahn said.