Interpreting body language

2knowmyself is, without doubt, the only website that has complete body language
information on the internet. If you dare challenge this statement then read through the
following articles and you will discover it yourself.
Choose from the links below the state of feeling you'd like to know more about and You
will be directed to a page that explains the state, shows you the pictures of the body
language gestures associated with the sate along with additional information.
After learning how to read and interpret body language you will understand the
statement: "Body Language; where you'll see the same thing in a way you've never seen
before"

Body language uses

Body language can help you read people's emotions and understand their feelings with an
accuracy that is close to 100%.
Body language doesn't only allow you to read people's emotions but it can also help
you give the impression you want to people. For example if you took the body language
confidence gestures you will be able to give people the impression that you are a
confident person.

Reading body language

A research was held at the University of Pennsylvania to determine to what extent a
person's body language can affect the impression people form of him. The shocking
result the research came up with is that body language was found to be more responsible
for the impression people form of you than your words.
The following are the detailed findings they came up with:
55 percent of the impression people form of you is based on your postures , body
movements and gestures
38 percent was based on the tone of your voice (tempo and frequency).
Only 7 percent was based on what you say.

That means that a total of 93 percent of the impression people form of you is determined
by your body language (which includes both Body gestures and voice tone) while only 7
percent is based on the words you say.
In other words this means that if you learned how to read body language you will be
able to interpret people's emotions with a 93% accuracy.

Why reading body language makes a lot of sense

Lots of people find it weird that reading body language can tell us about 93% of the real
intentions of the people we are dealing with but when you put in mind that there are liars,
imposers, dishonest people and people who don't know how to express their emotions the
results make a lot of sense.
Let me give you another example that will show you that depending on body language
can be much accurate than depending on words people say. Lets suppose that you met

a stranger who wears a horrible looking shirt? will you tell him about your opinion? of
course not.
Most people suppress their emotions and opinions because of the rules their society
forces upon them and that's why their real opinion is reflected in their body language.
Based on these facts we can conclude that learning how to read body language will
give you a deeper understanding of people and will help you interpret many of the
unconscious signals they send.

How to read and interpret body language

Body language Researchers have succeeded in identifying a large number of feelings and
their corresponding postures.
Anyone with enough information can effectively read peoples feelings through their
body language. Learning how to interpret body language is not a hard task; you just need
to know the familiar postures in body language and their associated emotional states then
link them together.

Why its useful to read body language

Body language is now widely used in politics, investigations (where the suspects body
language is analyzed), sales, negotiations and any other situation where communication
between people is involved.

Reading body language: being offended

When someone becomes offended he takes one of the most famous gestures in body
language which is called the defensive position. In the defensive position the person
crosses his arms (folds them) and sometimes crosses his legs too. People take this body
language gesture when someone says something that offends them or that doesn't appeal
to them.

Examples of the body language defensive position

Suppose you met a friend and the first thing he said to you was "hey, where did you get
that awful shirt from? It doesn't suit you at all".
In such a case, if the comment bothered you then you might find yourself taking the body
language defensive position. Because Your subconscious mind doesn't think using logic
it believes that by crossing your arms you will be protecting yourself from that comment
you didn't like and that's why it was called the defensive position.

How to Deal With a person when he takes the defensive position

If you are in a negotiation with someone and he took the body language defensive
position then know that he didn't like something that you said
If someone took the defensive position after you criticized him then make sure to
apologize to him because this gesture shows that he was offended.
If you were a sales person and you were talking to a customer about the price of
a product then you found that he suddenly took the defensive position then try to
be flexible and to talk about something else other than the price because his body

language indicates that he didn't like it.

Always use your mind to determine whether the defensive position was taken
because the person was offended or because of any other reason. For example a
person could take that position if he was feeling uncomfortable or cold.

Body Language: In state Of unease,shyness, defensiveness

Written by M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
Body language (nonverbal communications)

reading body language: state of unease,shyness and defensiveness

Have you ever noticed how some people stand when they're totally alone or in a place
where they know absolutely no one?
Have you ever tried noticing how you stand when you're uncomfortable with your
surroundings?
If you managed to do so then most probably you realized that people who are standing
alone or feeling uncomfortable take the below body language gesture which is called the
defensive position.
The defensive body language posture is marked by the folding of arms and is sometimes
accompanied by the crossing of the legs if the feelings are intense.

When do people take the defensive body language gesture?

The defensive posture is one of the most famous body language gestures you will notice
around you because it is taken when the person feels shy, uncomfortable or unfamiliar
with his surroundings.
The subconscious mind of the person experiencing those feelings believes that folding
his arms and legs will defend him from the surroundings and that's why its called the
defensive position.
People also take the defensive body language posture when they witness an accident or
something that they want to avoid, again by doing so they believe that they are defending
themselves from that undesirable situation.
People may also take the defensive body language posture when they are offended
as a result of wanting defend themselves from what they are hearing. People who
are shy by nature or who lack self confidence may feel find themselves taking that
defensive position most of the time because they always feel uncomfortable with their
surroundings.
You can easily spot a stranger in a group just by taking a look at his body language.
When standing with others stranger will usually take the defensive body language posture
while leaving a bigger private distance than the one they usually leave.

Body language & Confusion

When someone takes any of the two gestures shown below then know that he was
confused. (scratching his head using his fingers at any point on the top of his hair or at
the back of it)

When describing something to someone or when giving instructions watch out for these
postures; if you see them, then slow down your pace or elaborate more.

Another popular situation where the body language of confusion gesture happens
frequently is at exams. Just take a quick look at some people taking an exam and you will
certainly find one of them doing this gesture as a result of feeling confused.

Body language: State of frustration

Frustrated is experienced when you become unable to do something that you wanted to
do badly. Suppose you had lots of work to do but didn't have enough time, surely you'll
end up feeling frustrated.

In body language, when people become frustrated they take the gesture shown in the
picture below which is the body language state of frustration. Scratching the back of
your head or rubbing your neck from behind, as in the picture below, is a clear sign of
frustration according to body language.

Other 'frustration' body language gestures

The following are some other body guestures that show the presence of frustration:

Vigorously scratching your hands, face or other body parts

Abrading your face with one of your fingers
Tapping your hands against your lap
Shaking your foot repeatedly in a nervous manner
Some Micro forms:

Reading body language: In state of interest

You can use body language to know whether someone is interested in you or not.
The state of being interested in someone or being interested in some topic is one of
the major states in body language so before knowing the gestures and body postures
associated with the state you need to first be introduced to some concepts like, private
distance, orientation and eye contact

Body language concepts, being interested in someone or

something
Private distance and interest Have you ever noticed the space you leave
between you and the other person you are talking to? Have you ever noticed
how this space differs from one person to another? Around each one of us is a
circle called your private distance. People usually don't allow others to step into
this private distance unless they like them, are comfortable with them or at least
interested in them. That's why some people become irritated in elevators as others
keep stepping into their private distance by force.
Orientation and being interested in someone: Generally when a person is
enjoying the company of another person and doesnt want to leave he will be

oriented in such a way that his shoulders will be parallel to the shoulders of
the other person. This means that he will face him with his whole bod. People
who talk to you without being oriented properly may be wanting to leave either
because they are not interested to talk to you or either because they are late.

Eye contact and interest: Eye contact shows interest and respect. When i use the
term eye contact i am actually referring to positive eye contact which is finding
that the other person is maintaining eye contact for 70 or 80% of the time.

How to use body language to know if someone is

interested in you?
Now after you knew about these body language concepts you can use them all together to
know if someone is interested in you.
If you found that someone is leaving a small private distance between you and him, is
properly oriented and establishing good eye contact then this means that he is interested
in the conversation.
On the other hand if that person left a bigger distance, was not oriented properly and
lacked positive eye contact then he may not be interested in you or he may just be in a
hurry.
In addition to all the negative signs if that person also took the body language defensive
position then put in mind that there is a great possibility that he is not interested in the
conversation.
Another useful use of the state of interest postures is that you can easily use them to
differentiate between close friends and people who just met each other. People who know
each other well will certainly leave a small private distance between them while others
will do the opposite.

Body language: In state of anxiousness:

If you've tried noticing how people usually behave as they wait for their turn at the
dentist's office or as they wait for the results of their exams then you will certainly see
some of the body language anxiety signs.
Anxiety is one of the body language signs that cannot be identified by one gesture but
instead you have to find more than one signal before you can know whether that person is
anxious or not.
The presence of three or more of the below sings shows that a person is anxious:

Finger-nail biting: In body language biting finger nails shows that the person is
anxious or worried
Fidgeting: frequent change of position while you're sitting or being unable to
settle down
Tapping your heels: Tapping your heel on the floor repeatedly in a nervous
manner.
Tapping your fingers: Tapping your fingers and/or hand on your lap.
Sweating
Jiggling your pocket's contents
Whistling

Body language and leaving a positive impression

Just as you very slight changes in your body language can have a big effect on your

relationships with others. In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you, I gave
a description of how a slight change such as keeping your back straight, can increase the
chances of making people fall in love with you. The more confident you appear, the more
attractive you will become; nothing can make you appear to be more confident than a
straight back.
On the other hand if you were not aware of the body language signs of anxiety you might
mistakenly do them and leave a bad impression. Many people ask me how to leave a
good impression and the best answer to that question is to use proper body language since
body language can allow you to leave a great impression even if you didn't talk!!

Reading body language: boredom

In body language when someone feels bored he usually doesn't keep the eye contact with
the person he is talking to and he may start searching for anything around him to play
with as shown in the picture below.
Another body language gesture that shows boredom is moving the foot up and down
repeatedly in a nervous manner.
If you were talking to someone and suddenly found him doing any of these body
language gestures then try to change the subject or to add more humor because the person
got bored.

boredom Vs attractiveness
While a person might get bored while talking to you another one might become attracted
to you upon changing few things in your body language. Very slight changes to your
body language can have a big effect on your relationships with people.

Reading Body language: In state of lying

Just like any other emotional state, lying brings about some changes to your body form
and posture. If you are familiar with these postures you will be able to detect liars right
away.

When it comes to detecting a liar via body language your task may be a little bit difficult
than when trying to detect other states. Basically, there are two methods to detect liars;
the first one is not that accurate but is rather simple.
The second one needs a little bit of extra effort but is much more accurate. The first is
based on body language while the second is based on NLP's Eye Accessing Cues. By
combining both methods, you'll be able to spot liars easily. Read further to know more
about both.

Detecting a liar using body language

Let's start with the simple method. There are a lot of noticeable signs that can be detected
when someone lies. If you noticed two or more of these signs then that means that the
person is possibly lying. Noticing more than three will raise the accuracy of your lying
detection process and so on. Remember, one sign is never enough!
The signs you will be looking for are:
1)Touching the nose: If the target person is not used to lying or if his values
and beliefs make him think that lying is immoral then when telling the lie, he
will dislike what he is saying and will thus take one of the negative evaluation
postures (touching nose or ears). Negative evaluation Postures in body language
are taken when someone considers something to be negative. In this case the
guy doesn't like the fact that he is lying and will thus be adopting the negative
evaluation body posture. Note that this only happens with people who consider
lying a bad thing and not with everyone else.
2)Weak Eye contact: Eye contact becomes poor when someone is lying: while
telling a lie the person may keep looking at other stuff around him just to avoid
looking at you. If you want to know everything about Eye contact in body
language then refer to this guide
3)Hiding his palms: Palms rarely become visible when someone is lying: Being
comfortable with showing your palms while talking is a sign of honesty and
truthfulness; people who lie usually put their palms down or keep their hands in
their pockets. See the pictures below illustrating the differences between someone
who is lying and someone who is telling the truth
4)Bending his back: The back is rarely kept straight and the posture is rarely
kept upright when someone is lying (unless the person is proud of lying. See body
language and straight backs for more information on this topic)

As you've just seen, very slight changes to your body language can have a big effect on
your relationships with people. In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you,
I elaborated on how slight changes, such as keeping your back straight, can increase the
chances of having people fall in love with you. The more confident you appear, the more
attractive you will become, and nothing can make you appear confident more than a
straight back.

Body Language: In state of flirting

Researches have found that there is a direct relation between the states of feeling that
we experience and our gestures. For example if you felt happy then your body will take
certain gestures that are different than the gestures it will take if you were feeling sad.
So If you managed to know the gesture associated with a certain emotional state you will
be able to detect the presence of this emotional state. The same goes for flirting because
its just an emotional state, if you knew the body posture and the body language changes
associated with the state of flirting you will easily know if someone is trying to flirt with
you.

Flirting Signs and Gestures

Whether you find them strange or whether you find it hard to believe in them still they
are clear signs of flirting. These signs does not represent my opinion about flirting body
language but they are proven facts. I am not asking you to believe in them without testing
them but all I'm asking you is to test them and see for yourself.
Here the body language flirting signs:

Pupil size: When someone sees something or someone that he likes his pupil size
gets bigger!! I know that this is a bit hard to notice but by training you will be
able to detect these slight changes in the pupil size and so know if someone likes
seeing you.
Playing with her hair : This sign is for girls only. When a girl wants to flirt with
someone or when she finds him particularly interesting she may start to play with
her hair twist it or flicker it. This could happen once or several times during the
conversation; the more the sign happens the clearer the message!!
Pointing towards you with his toes or feet: If someone was interested in you
and if he wasn't sitting right next to you then he will point directly towards using
his feet or toes. A clearer flirting sign is when he sits with his body totally facing
you.
Seeing his/her teeth through the smile: A smile should be wide enough to reveal
at least the front teeth otherwise it may be a fake smile or a smile that has nothing
to do with you.
Keeping you in his/her line of sight: The person who is flirting with you will
try to keep you in his line of sight As a result you may find him taking a look at
you every now and then or you may find him continuously orienting himself to be
facing you even if he is standing with someone else.
Clothing: The person will generally pick his favorite clothes and wear them if
he believed that he will possibly see you. You could ask him about his favorite
colors and observe whether he wears them a lot when you're around or not.

Body language and attractiveness

In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you i explained how you can use
such signs to increase the chance of making someone fall in love with you.
By being able to read these signs then use other ones that can make you appear more
attractive your chance of attracting someone is going to be much easier.

Many More Signs

The urge to flirt means that the person found you interesting and thats why I strongly
recommend reading the section about the state of being interested. In addition to the
above signs you can use the signs of interest to make sure that the person really is flirting
with you.

Leaving a positive impression

If you succeeded in leaving a positive first impression your chance of getting a job will
become higher, your social relations will improve and people will admire you.
In 2knowmyself I avoid using vague advice such as Be confident or Be a good
listener but instead i use effective and practical advice that are backed by psychological
principles. If you followed these advice the first impression you will leave will be
positive 99% of the time.
I didnt say 100% of the time because sometimes the impression people form of you
depends on their own past experience. For example if you saw someone who looks like
your arrogant boss you will tend to think that he is arrogant even if he was not. (for more
information checkout this article)

The Psychology of Impression Formation

A person takes about 5 to 10 seconds to form an impression of another person and then
he uses another 5-10 minutes to confirm his judgment. So if you made a good use of the
first five seconds then your chance of leaving a positive impression will become much
higher.
I know you may be thinking that 5 or 10 seconds is a very short period of time and that
nothing much can be done in them but if you read the following section you will discover
that lots of things take place in these five seconds but you never used to focus on them.

How to Leave a Positive Impression

The first thing you can do is proper eye contact. Proper Eye contact shows
respect,interest and that you are not shy. Proper eye contact means that the eye
contact should be around 70% to 80% of the time.
Another thing that happens in the first few seconds is the handshake, a firm
handshake combined with proper eye contact leaves the impression that you are
a confident person. people who don't shake hands in a firm way will most likely
leave the impression that they are not confident. (see the handshake psychology
for more information).
If you did the previous two points you will appear to be confident but in the same
time you may appear to be a little cold and thats why you need to put a smile on
your face. This smile will not only make the other person think that you have got
a sense of humor but it will also make him feel more comfortable in dealing with
you
Sit with your back straight and your shoulders stretched. A straight back leaves
the impression that you are confident happy or interested in what you are listening
to.(see watch your back for more information on this topic) Never ever cross your
legs or fold your arms when sitting because this leaves the impression that you
are not that comfortable or even afraid. Don't place an object like a bag or a file
between you and the interviewer because this leaves the same impression that
folding your arms leaves
if you felt like scratching your nose do not do it because this shows that you
have negative thoughts in your mind. After all your emotions are private and you
shouldn't let anyone know what's going on in your mind unless you want to
If you can wear blue clothes then do it, in the psychology of colors blue gives
the impression of loyalty and honesty, wearing blue will leave an unconscious
impression in the mind of other people that you are loyal and honest.

Handshakes and Body Language

Do you know how many seconds it takes a person to form an impression of you?
It usually takes the a person from 5 to 10 seconds to form an impression of you. I'm sure
you are now wondering how you can leave a positive impression in this very short period
of time!!
Actually, more than one thing that can be controlled takes place in this short period of
time and as you may have already guessed one of these things is the handshake.

I am Stronger than You

Why do you think you experience fear while watching a horror movie despite the fact
that you're perfectly safe at home? That's simply because your subconscious mind
follows some primitive rules in its operation and so it may incorrectly interpret an
external stimulus as a threat even if there was no real danger.
Now let's go back to the handshake, When you firmly hold the other persons hand
during the handshake his subconscious mind will think that you are stronger and more
confident than him!!
So by making sure that your handshake is firm, without exerting extra unneeded pressure,
you will be leaving the impression that you are a confident person.

Follow My Command
Have you ever noticed how some people position their palms horizontally instead of
vertically while shaking hands with their friends?
We have two cases here:
1) The first is when the palm is parallel and facing the floor
2) The second is when the palm is facing the sky.
The first gesture reflects the desire to dominate while the other one represents a state of
submission. The person who positions his palm so that it faces the ground while shaking
hands will usually be doing so because of his unconscious desire to dominate the other
person. On the other hands positioning the palm so that it faces the sky usually reflects
the state of being submissive to the other person.

What if Someone Wants to Control Me?

So what if someone tries to shake hands with you with his palms facing the ground?
Simply hold his palm and firmly return it to the vertical position. By doing so, you will
be sending an indirect message to his subconscious mind telling him: Sorry, but I'm not
the kind of person whom you can control

Body Language and Micro Gestures

Tom was waiting for his turn at the dentist's office. He didnt want anybody to know that
he was afraid or anxious so he kept himself from moving or changing his posture.
If you looked at him you would find no signs of anxiety or fear but suddenly his left foot
slipped forward a few centimeters. No one noticed this move except for one man who
was watching him with interest, the man smiled because he knew that Tom was trying to
hide his feelings.

Micro Gestures? What are they?

You can fool your parents, your best friend, your wife and even me but you cant
fool your subconscious mind. When your emotions become so intense you can hardly
hide them. Even people who've mastered body language can make small mistakes; these
mistakes are what we call micro gestures.
Micro gestures were called so because they can hardly be noticed. Some of them are not
noticeable by the naked eye and require recording the body language of that person then
reviewing it later. These micro gestures can take the form of a slight movement in the

lips, eye brows or facial muscles.

Usage of Micro Gestures

The most famous thing micro gestures are used for are investigations. Videos are
recorded of the people suspected to be guilty and are reviewed in slow motion to spot the
micro gestures the person made during the interrogation. Micro gestures can be really
tricky so take care not to receive distorted input; learn to spot them on yourself first
before you start making judgments about people.

Eye Contact in Body Language

Maintaining proper eye contact during a conversation will give people the impression that
you are interested in listening to them, that you are not shy and that you respect them.
Eye contact should not be maintained 100% of the time because people may feel
uncomfortable if you stared at their eyes for prolonged periods. What is meant by "Proper
Eye Contact" is that it should be maintained around 70 to 80 % of the time.

Where to Look if You Are Shy

Some people have the problem of not being able to look others in the eye because they
are not used to it. If you are one of those people then just look at the positive area of eye
contact which is represented by the triangle in the picture below.
If you looked anywhere in this area the other person will think that you looking into his
eyes even if you were looking at his nose.

Eye contact and relationships

In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you i explained how appearing
more confident can increase your chances of making someone fall in love with you.
Maintaining good eye contact and keeping a straight back will insure that you look
confident and so you will become more attractive.

Eye Contact and Authority

If you want to appear authoritative dont look at the area of positive eye contact; but look
just above it. Looking at this area of the face will give the impression that you are in
control of the situation.

Interpreting Body Language: Hands on Waist

I am sure that one day you were talking to someone and as soon as you finished, he
moved his hands and rested them on his waist as illustrated in the picture below. What
happened? Why did he do that?

As you know, in body language, a change in the body posture always reflects a change in
the person's emotions. In this case, where the person is resting his hands on their waist,
the emotion can be described using the following phrase:
You have asked for more than what I can handle. I dont think I will be able to do what
you want and I'm angry at you or at the person responsible for this mess.
It could also mean
1-You have asked for too much.
2-I am getting aggravated and I may attack at any moment!
3-This situation is beyond my reach or abilities.

When Will You See This body language gesture?

So when are you going to see such a posture? The following are some possible situations
where this body language posture could appear:
This is more than I can handle: You only have 3 days left to finish an
assignment then you received a phone call from one of your friends telling you
that it turns out the assignment must be handed tomorrow and not 3 days later. In
this case, you may take this posture right after finishing the call.
I am becoming aggravated and ready to attack You're attending a lecture and
everyone is talking to his peer and ignoring the lecturer. At this point, the lecturer
might suddenly stop talking and take this posture.
Thats beyond my abilities You are at the gym, you can hardly lift 20 Lb in

the biceps exercise, and then suddenly someone shows up and does that same
exercise with 100 Lb. In this case you may find yourself putting your hands on
your waist.

Reading body language, Hands in pocket

According to body language when someone becomes unsatisfied with his self image
he will put his hands in his pockets. Suppose that one day you didnt find any clothes
to wear and had to hang out with your friends wearing an old shirt that doesnt suit you
anymore.
If a stranger accompanied you in this outing then most probably you will find that your
hand is in your pocket most of the time. Generally people put their hands in pocket when
they are feel unsatisfied with their looks, clothes or their actions.

But why do people put their hands in their pockets?

The subconscious mind, which thinks in a primitive way, believes that putting your hands
in your pockets is a good way to hide and to avoid the situation.
Putting the hands in pocket is sometimes associated with lying but beware not to think of
someone as a liar just because his hands is in his pocket. You need more signs in order to
confirm whether someone is lying or not (For more information see how to read a liars
body language).
The concept is the same for lying, the person feels in need to hide because he is not
saying the truth but this only happens when the person thinks that lying is bad.
If someone always puts his hands in his pockets then this person might be lacking self
confidence because he always feels uncomfortable around other people.

Body language: common pit falls

There is a big possibility that you didn't manage to understand people's personality using
body language with a high accuracy. If this happened to you then don't worry because
there are some common pitfalls that people who are new to the body language don't take
into consideration and so they get incorrect results.
Learning how to avioid pitfalls will help you read body language with a very high
accuracy.
The pitfalls are as follows:
Cultural differences and body language: In body language there are some
slight differences between cultures. For example, Italians may keep small private
distance when talking to you while English people may keep a big distance.
Interpreting the private distance in both cases without taking the cultural
differences into consideration, may result in getting inaccurate readings.
Body language and thoughts If someone made the negative evaluation posture
as soon as he saw you then this doesn't mean that he doesnt like seeing you but
instead he may have been thinking about a bad thing right before seeing you
Body language detects states of feelings and not personality: If you found

someone taking the body languageconfidence posture then this does not mean
that he is a confident person but it only means that he is feeling confident at the
moment. However, you can still know someone's personality by watching for the
repetition of the same postures over and over. If that person always takes the body
language confidence position everywhere then he is confident by nature.

Body language and habits: some people have the habit of folding their arms or
putting their hands in their pockets; make sure you filter out the habits in order to
read body language correctly.
Use your mind some people may take the defensive posture because the weather
is cold and others may scratch their nose because they just want to scratch it. To
avoid wrong results use your mind in addition to the knowledge you have about
body language