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Critique Guidelines
David - Seeking Singapore Seasons
Joseph - Juice
Bronwyn - Performance slot
Balachandran - Juice
Louise - Ways Into You
Matthew - The Juice

HOW TO CRITIQUE POETRY: THE SWG POETRY GROUP GUIDELINES

Poetry is a very subjective media and can be difficult to critique. Here are a few notes to
start us off. First, poets - please dont explain your poem. Do let us know whether your poem
is intended to be printed or performed, or both. All pieces of writing have good points - we
need to hear these as well as what didnt work as well for you.

Overall Personal Response:

Give the poet a general impression of your personal response (how did the poem
make you feel? think? what thoughts, images or ideas did it evoke in you? what was your
interpretation of the poem? who do you see as a good audience for this poem?)

Detailed Critique Points:

Title (did the title suit the work? did it add to it?)
Opening (did the poem engage you from the outset? do you feel it started in the right
place? is there a strong line you feel would make a better opening?)
Rhythm and rhyme (were words and phrases long or short, and to what effect? how did
the poem employ vowel sounds or consonants? did the rhythm of the work suit the poem?
did it break down or overpower the work at any point? was there a formal structure? if
rhyming was used, where did it feel effortless? where did it feel forced? did the chosen
rhyme scheme (or absence thereof) suit the poem? would the poem work better as free
verse?)
Word choice (is there a strong sense of voice? was the language florid? straightforward?
modern? archaic? how did that support the overall form/theme/mood of the poem? how was
the poems syntax? was there any awkward reversal of syntax to fit a rhyme scheme? did
the author use strong nouns and verbs? was there much reliance on adverbs and adjectives?
did you have any favourite lines or phrases?)
Imagery, metaphor, simile, allegory (did the poem contain any of these? were they
subtle? obvious? pleasant? off-beat? how did that work for you? did the poem present any
particularly evocative images, and did these images support the poem as a whole?)
Progression and ending (did the poem give you the right sense of building towards a
whole? did it have a climax or turning point? were you engaged throughout or did your
attention wander in places? did the ending satisfy you?)

For page (printed) poems:

The group members will read the poem ahead of time and make notes. At the
meeting, its recommended that a volunteer from the group (not the author) read
the poem aloud. If you have a reason for wanting to read it yourself, please let us
know. In addition to the above, you may want to comment on:

 Line breaks and stanza breaks (do they seem to have been put in the right places? are
they placed to pull the reader through the poem? do any of the line breaks seem too
short/long/arbitrary? how would placing them differently affect your reading of the poem?)
White space and other formatting (if the poem has been formatted for presentation,
does the chosen format invite you to read?)

For performed poems:

The author will perform the poem for the group, usually just before a break. Please
perform it exactly as you intend to on stage, including entry, any preamble, and
exit. After this, there will be some time for silent reading and note-taking. In
addition to the above, you may want to comment on:
Voice projection and intonation (could you hear the performer clearly? is there any way
they could modulate their voice for better effect?)
Pacing (was the reading fast? slow? were there any pauses? did the pacing of the
performance suit the poem?)
Gestures (did the performer use any gestures? how did this affect your experience of the
performance?)
Stage presence (did the performance command your attention? do you feel the performer
managed to get the most out of the poem?)

Seeking Singapore Seasons (David)

Some bright buds spring green
from Orchard, Beach, and Lavender
In grassroots areas
permanent resident trees
deciduously drop brittle brown leaves,
bare their branches and
draw their life giving juice from the soil.
They seek not to convert evergreens
nor colonize their territories:
they only obey their genetic law.
Their difference is as pre-ordained
as the greenness of the evergreens.
Above them, Cranes perch like peripatetic monuments
to a constantly changing skyline.
In the tropical red dot,
Seasons come not from Nature
but from public holidays.
------------David Campbell

JUICE (Joseph)
Crimson Juice flows from the Staff of Life to seeds sown a season ago
Never neglect for the evil plucks, the muse dies when the Juice runs dry
Let the Juice flow
Dont despise the humble beginnings, let the Juice flow
on parched lives that yearned to ask- let the Juice flow
Grapes of wrath commission condemnation, but Grace says
Let the Juice flow
They would leave the Sower alone and let His Juice flow
From the Truth so rare He is delightful to tell
To a small man up a tree who had a thing to confess and wanted the Juice to flow
He knew love was greatest when laid down for another
Liar and cheat drinking the Juice and eating the staff to feel human again
The Staff of Life bruised and broken and wracked with healing to let the Juice flow
Crimson Red

Juice (Balachandran)
The incessant rain lasted for weeks
Common folks bedazzled by the act
It wasnt a play nor fiction but a fact
In a blaze, it spread from West to East
We searched the net, desiring to learn
It was enough to put one in shame
We wondered how it would be handled
Some sniggered, others sympathised while
Some others dressed down the affiliation and
Condemned the Texan transgressor
Why does it happen time and again?
Are we not bound to rectitude? Or do we founder,
And amuse ourselves in ways deemed as decadent
And undesirable, both of which release the pangs of
An undeniable pleasure; thrust into a euphoric oblivion
Lured into her abode, all faculties fell limp.
The boys innocence untimely ripped at thirteen
He begins his maturity, not quite into fatherhood.
So Cries the town; maligned into misery. And yet she
Parties with the boys barmy kinsfolk
The law moves expeditiously to squash the union
Judgement is severe. The tattler, intoxicated with
The news, pukes all over the web. The siren, banned
From the noble calling, faces confinement of up to
A hundred years

Ways into You (Louise Crowe)

At the base of your throat is a retina,
where your hearts periscope peeps
and twitches your collar like curtains,
and looks and sees and never knows
for sure, I know. So I search your body
for skin, fine and thin
like an ear drum to whisper into.
In your shoulders shadow, concave,
defenceless, I find it.
Not hardened with sinew or deafened by hair,
and I murmur Africa and Orpheus,
wondrous dreams melting and mellifluous,
until you unfurl and curl
and abandon the lookout post and sleep.

The Juice (an experimental poetry by Mathew Abraham)

In the scheme of life
The Juice is the crushing result
In the death of a seed
Much like life starts as
a joyous and crushing union of individuals
but the death of individuality
The death of a seed gives birth
To the life of a new plant lying hidden within
That basks in the freedom of a rebirth
Much like the death of individuality
Gives rise to a new individual similarly lying hidden
That basks in the freedom of a new indivduality
With the passage of Father Time
The plant and the individual bask in an environment
Ah but this phase just a preparation for the grand plan
And as the grand plan unfolds in the grand movement of Father Time
Thorugh the slow grind of environment and ordeals of survival
The plant and individual both reach out for their purpose
The purpose as intended by the grand plan of a higher intelligence
In which plant bears fruit which when crushed bears its imprint - The Juice
While the individual blossoms into an individual reaching out to another to leave its imprint another Individual
thus completing its cycle , purpose and intention
In the Grand Scheme of Life