DATE

DONT
DOWN

A COUNTER CULTURAL PLAN

Ian
PURSUING
CUMMING
FOR
WITH INTENSION
DATEING
.

*FRIEDSHIP *LOVE *MARRIAGE *INTERMITCY

Introduction

Throughout the history of mankind we see the

common themes of conflict between the fickle
nature of mans desires, and making moral
choices. Today in what seems to be a perpetual
search for meaning and self-fulfillment wesee

individuals,communitiesandentirenations
adoptingbehavior,thatcontradictwithmoral
beliefsandvalues.Thisdissonancehasgiveriseto
whatIdescribeasanidentitycrises,acrossall
rolesofsocialinteractions,particularlyinthe
datingpracticesandinfluenceofpopularof
popularculture.
The role of interpersonal relationship as a
foundational structure is established. So too is
mans innate need for shared meaning as the
catalyst of cultural attitudes, values
judgement and beliefs. However relationships
do not just happen. There must be an
investment of time, patients and mutual
agreement.
Unfortunately there is a loud silence within
the religious community about all things

sexual be it good or bad, we are barely able to

keep our own spiritual and moral houses in
order we lack discernment, inclination, or
power to confront the generational issues of
the our community: Dating sexuality hookups
Cohabitating. We should be so mature in
biblical truth, obedience, holiness, and love
that the natural course of our life is to expose,
rebuke, every kind of evil as well as offer
solutions sanctuary and reconciliation.
The Dating practices of popular culture has
breached the doors of our community and has
been a sauce of pain as it is plagued with high
levels of dissonance.
In this context navigate the misconceptions of
`dating by applying God's Principles is crucial

andisbasedonthepropositionsthatforevery
believerandforeverypersonGodistheultimate
answertothissearchforfulfillmentandmeaning.
AlsotheHolyScripture,isavalidauthorityon
questionsconcerningmorality.
It is crucial that we understand the internal
and external dynamics that have evolved
within our own life attitudes, the influences on

our thinking and the subsequent decisions

and ultimate choices that affect our future
destiny.
In this inspired journey, we will be discussing
the concept of Dont date down as a counter
cultural model for navigating the miss
conceptions of dating, and intimate
relationships, In addition to giving guidelines
to relationship choices and responsibility.
Aimed atfor discerning the good signs,
warning signs and bad signs . Hopefully,
these pages will give you some food for
thought. Apart from your relationship with
God, choosing a potential lifelong partner is a
decision that requires spiritual maturity,
community, commitment to seeking
understanding, growth and service.

The Shoe Concept World Thought

God Plan

Real life happens! Life wont always be filled

with roses, dinner dates, and good times. We
must consider a persons character, morals,
and integrity very heavily before forming a
bond with them. This is why it is so important
to clearly understand the dynamics that have
evolved within ones own life attitudes and
ways of thinking will affect a future partner.
Informed choices based upon the Word of God
are smart choices. Wholesome relationships
do not just happen it is intentional not
obsessional. It is this fundamental quest for
"Real Love" that drives the concept of dating.
The word concept is actually a French word
which consists of two separate words.
(Con with)
(Cept form)
Therefore what concept means is formatted
thinking.
And as human beings, we think within a
concept, and in paradigms, and there are
paradigms and concepts that we have adopted

as we grew older especially when coming to

dating sex and marriage.
What we witnessed from our parents, or heard
from our friends then we should also consider
the statements that we see and hear on social
media for example television, talk shows, and
celebrities.
Due to the instances, we encounter, life
experiences form patterns in our minds that
affect our decision-making processes, so my
intention throughout this book is to present to
you another concept to oppose the one you are
previously faced with.
What we must understand is that patterns
and concepts change as the repetition of
another pattern or concept takes precedence
in our hearts and minds, therefore changing
those created and used in the past.
The conventional trend of thought is that
ones experiences changes and impacts ones
decision-making process. Theories have been
generated to explain how people make
decisions, and what types of factors influence
present and future outcomes.

Ultimately the process of decision-making

includes making a judgment about an attitude
or action. Decisions are an act of the will, and
they are always influenced by the mind, the
emotions, or both. The decisions we make
actually reflect the desires of our heart.
The difficulty one faces is knowing the nature
of one heart and making a decision that
transcends, Jeremiah 17:99: The heart is
deceitful above all things and desperately
wicked: who can know it? To making the shift
where we can make the decision seen in Psalm
119:3030 I have chosen the way of
faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws.
Therefore, a key question before making a
decision is do I choose to please myself, or do
I choose to please the Lord? Joshua set the
standard: If serving the Lord seems
undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves
this day whom you will serve But as for me
and my household, we will serve the Lord
(Joshua 24:15; cf. Romans 12:2).
Applying a spiritual perspective And by
spiritual perspectives I mean the value-rich

visions of what it means to be here, to be

human, that contextualize our experiences
and practices. Adopting a biblical approach to
dating often runs into a lot of practical and
deeper questions, such as:

What are the standards for dating?

What are the requirements for dating?
How did it take place?
Who should I date?
How should I date?
How will I know the right person?
What does the bible say about dating?
The manner in which people date often times
reflect the way we approach buying a pair of
shoes for instance the process and decision is
influenced by:
1.

Referrals

2.

Advertisement

3.

Designs that are mesmerizing.

So, you go into a store to try on a shoe, there

is a peculiar style, shape, color and fit you
have in your mind, and most of the time this is
based on referrals that mostly comes from
your friends, those who have tried the product
and based on whats in style through
advertisement, your own personal experiences
with different products comes into play too.
Looking for a peculiar shoe based on Fit, color,
style, brand name.
And when you walk into a store you try on a
shoe, you walk in it and if it feels well and
looks good you take it, and if it doesnt fit you
leave it and go to the next store.
This concept goes on from one store to another
store until you find a shoe that fits. And when
you get one that fits, you take it home and use
it until the occasion is over or its worn out or
cant fit you anymore or someone steals it.
And this is how a majority of believers go
about dating because there are no set rules
for dating and you keep changing partner
after partner trying to get the right fit.

What is the right fit, the right size and how

will I know if the person I have met is the
right person I should spend the rest of my
life with, what are some of the signs I
should look for, well sit back I will take you
through a journey that will clear up any
erroneous concepts that you have been fed
with along your past so you can embrace
whats ahead of you.

Finding Your Self

The way God made us is very unique and thus
we should feel privileged to have been made in
His image and likeness. We are the only beings
that are free moral beings upon the earth, in
fact, the angels are so marveled of us they say
in:
Ps: 8 what is man? That thou are mindful of
him and the son of man that thou visits him
and you made him a little lower than the
angels and crown him with honor and glory, in
other words, we are on the mind of God.

Another aspect to note is the fact that our

rank is simply a few steps beneath that of
God. Placing us above the angels when
coming to creation, because angels were
created to worship, there is no choice in
that matter for that is the purpose for
which they were made.
We humans have the God given gift of choice,
God does not choose for us, as matter of fact it
is our choice to accept or reject his purpose
design and destiny. That puts us above the
Angles who were created for the purpose of
worship. They are in marvel of us
We humans on the other hand- have the God
given gift of choice, God has a plan and
chosen roles for all his creations and like all
mutual relationships is entered into free of
coercion but on choice the to accept or reject
Gods purpose design and destiny proposal

We humans on the other hand- God has given

us the power of choice, He does not choose for
us, as matter of fact God

We humans on the other hand- God has

given us the power of choice, He does not
choose for us, as matter of fact God
He chose our Purpose what he created us to
be
He chose the country we should be born in
He chose our parents
He chose the time of our birth and death
He chose our personalities and physical
appearances.
.

Before we can understand and fulfill someone

elses needs, we must first have clearly defined
who and what we are. People are different
from each other in fundamental ways. And
avenues for self-discovery is crucial in
navigating the various levels of interaction,
connections, and experiences.
Maybe the most striking distinction to make
does not simply lie between religious and

spiritual camps, but among the groups within

them. In the religious community, you have
those who prioritize rules over compassion;
who would deny the rights of others, or even
kill them, in the name of their God or dogma;
who are small-minded enough to believe that
their view of reality is right, and everyone else
got it wrong.
There are those who are happy to degrade our
planet while expecting their reward in the
afterlife; and who blindly follow tenets that are
disconnected from their true religion, having
been devised solely to consolidate
organizational power and control.
Something to Ponder!!
You also have those who use their religion as
a structure to support a true experience of
beauty, peace and divinity; who practice the
humility taught by the religions founder;
whose hearts are open to the suffering of
fellow human beings; and who are selfless and
kind enough to take action to alleviate that
suffering.

In the spiritual community, you have those

whose aim is to bypass their own shadow and
avoid the hard work of honest introspection;
who would rather be fixed by an angel, crystal
or sneak-peaks into the future; who
uncritically believe the most far-fetched
notions; who speak about these notions as if
everyone should share them; and who
consume spiritual practices with a the
customer is always right attitude.
You also have those who are courageous
enough to seek their own truth rather than
accepting what was fed to them; who fearlessly
face whatever they turn up in their inner
explorations; who endure the terror of ego
dissolution to discover their connection to
unitive consciousness; who maintain a
spiritual practice for decades despite boredom
and other discomforts; and who contribute to
us all, not from the compulsion of good-deeddoing, but rather from a joyful awareness that
serving others and serving the self are
identical.
Lose Your Self to Find

We were not created by God to be alone; we are

social beings and have the need to interact
build relationships. This is a well-known and
accepted concept, there is no debating the
natural inclination for companionship and the
desire to belong, to create, is part of the
human experience. This is further enhanced
by the Romanized Hollywood scene/ (Media)
such as the Tom Cruises line in the movie.
You complete me OR You had me at hello.
Often one would think if I was required to
complete someone then that would mean that
I would have to give up some part of me to
make another person whole? like two half
cups of water coming together to complete one,
ultimately leaving the other empty.
Gibran expresses the idea of oneness and
separateness in oneness perfectly stating:
Give your hearts, but not into each other's
keeping .For only the hand of Life can contain
your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and

the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each

other's shadow.
One has to find a common ground of values,
vision, and desire thats in alignment with God
intention.
You seeit would be easy for me to find rules
and guidelines to instruct you on the negative
consequences of disobedience, which has been
and continues to the trend of my peers. I can
recall countless examples as a youth, being
instructed to not do particular things and to
follow certain rules and my path to salvation
would be clearer.
My being the son of a preacher did not exclude
me or give me a competitive advantage. You
see we have been made to believe that our
desire for Gods approval will override the
physical and emotional yearnings and selfcontrol is always key!
So the question now becomes: How do you
control self if you do not know who you are?
The calmness of my heart rests on
empowering you, to connect the beauty of
striving for Gods purpose and to dig deeper.

To find self, one has to lose self and no, this is

not a play on words. You see it is our
preoccupation with our self that lends to us
making decisions and choices that can be selfdestructive, it sounds like a contradiction of
terms, and however, the self-centered message
of todays social structures says its all about
you. All of the advertisements say its all about
you: Have it your way, We do it all for you,
You deserve a break today, Obey your
thirst, Youre worth it.
Gods stance is poles apart from the
conventions of todays self-centered
obsessions. In Matthew 10:39-42 If you dont
go all the way with me, through thick and
thin, you dont deserve me. If your first
concern is to look after yourself, youll never
find yourself. But if you forget about yourself
and look to me, youll find both yourself and
me.
In Luke12:31, Your Father knows what you
need. But put Gods work first and these
things will be yours as well.

All the other aspects of your life your career,

your education, your friendships, your
romance, your finances are all from God
and are good. If you look outside for fulfillment
and expect someone else to fill the void, you
will never truly find yourself. When you find it
within yourself, it will provide you with the
foundation you need in order to realize your
full potential and become the person who you
would want to share with others!!
It has been said that we only accept the love
we think we deserve, but the beautiful part
about this is that you decide what you
deserve. Other people do not determine your
value.
You are the child of a king more than body
and mind you are sprit too.

Growing up in a Christian home, Joe knew all

the basics of Christianity. He'd given his life to
Christ at a young age and even felt called to
full time ministry as a teenager.
But suddenly, his faith didn't seem to ring
true. He began making sinful choices, which
heightened these feelings and isolated him
from Christian community. "I was ready to
throw it all away," he says.
A few weeks ago, I heard someone say that
dissonance is the number one reason people
leave the faith. "If a person is claiming a set of
beliefs while living in a way that violates those
beliefs," he said, "he will eventually give up on
his faith to escape the pressure."
We all experience this kind of disharmony at
times in our lives. Googling dissonance and
faith, I came across the blog of an exChristian. He wrote: "Christianity promised life
fuller and more abundant. Instead, it
separated me from life. It made me miserable."
Sadly, I don't have to go to the blogosphere to
hear words like these. I've heard them from
many of my own friends. Dissonance, defined

here as "inconsistency between the beliefs one

holds or between one's actions and one's
beliefs," occurs when a person's perceptions
about themselves and life fail to match their
beliefs.
Whether the result of intellectual struggles,
disillusionment with fellow believers or tension
created from a less-than-Christian lifestyle,
spiritual dissonance is uncomfortable.
When I graduated from high school, a middle
school band played a horribly out-of-tune
rendition of "Pomp and Circumstance." The
incident became legendary in my family. True
dissonance can make you want to flee the
room or have your eardrums removed.
The Ideas that Shape Us
When thinking about the issue of dissonance,
it's helpful to consider the influences that
shape our perceptions of faith and truth.
Among these influences are standards
promoted by media and culture, our own
personal experiences and relationships.

As Dr. Al Mohler pointed out on his blog, even

something as seemingly innocent as "the
American way" can conflict with biblical truth
and create dissonance. A report released
earlier this year found that a shocking number
of Christians do not believe in the existence of
hell. Dr. Mohler credits this statistic to
Americans' allegiance to the ideals of equality
and fairness:
Eternal punishment in hell is not consistent
with "the American experience" or "the
American way." The God of the Bible, in other
words, does not act in ways consistent with
what many people consider to be American
ideals. Sending people to hell is just not fair.
Because of the extra-biblical influences that
mold us, dissonance is inevitable. When my
life the thoughts, feelings and actions that
dominate me seems inconsistent or
incompatible with the tenets of the Christian
faith, I have two options. I can depend on my
own understanding of life, and reject the parts
of Christianity that conflict with my personal
truth. Or I can resolve to stand firm in the
truth of the Bible and examine where flaws in

my understanding or lifestyle may be causing

discord.
When Talk and Walk Don't Match
Jason is a talented, inspiring, contagious
young man who claims to be a Christ-follower.
Whenever you see him, he talks up Christian
principles to the sky. But his actions
particularly in the area of sexual purity are
dramatically inconsistent with the faith he
claims to hold. Beneath the surface, he's
miserable because he feels like a huge failure
and hypocrite. For now, Jason's clinging to his
faith, but he feels severely isolated and
plagued by guilt.
I think we all know people like Jason. Maybe
we are Jason. When a person's lifestyle and
beliefs do not match, tension results. James
1:22 says:
Do not merely listen to the word, and so
deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone
who listens to the word but does not do what
it says is like a man who looks at his face in a
mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away
and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Merely knowing what the Bible says will not

bring about the power of a faith lived out. In
fact, knowing and not acting results in being
deceived. Perhaps that's why believers who
consistently choose their own way over God's
seem to drift farther and farther from Him.
We've all been there. Guilt becomes a barrier,
causing severe spiritual angst.
Eventually a person may alter his beliefs to
match his lifestyle in order to relieve the
pressure. Such an action may deliver an initial
sense of relief because the person's beliefs and
actions finally match. But giving up faith and
choosing one's own way always leads to
destruction.
Hey There, Delilah
No one demonstrates this road to ruin better
than Samson. From birth, it was apparent
that he was destined for spiritual greatness.
But early in his life, he began making some
reckless choices.
Instead of seeking out community among
those who supported his calling, Samson
started socializing with those who opposed it.

Maybe it was more comfortable than being

accountable to people who knew his destiny.
Maybe he was attracted to the danger. Or
perhaps he was simply deceived into thinking
he could do it on his own.
Over time he lost perspective and fell prey to a
very transparent deception that ultimately led
to his death. As one of my friends said, "If you
live apart from community, you'll end up in
Delilah's arms every time." Samson made a
series of bad choices based on his emotions.
He drifted so far from the truth that he did not
even recognize "that the LORD had left him"
(Judges 16:20).
Being encompassed by a community that
upholds truth is critical to dealing with
dissonance and avoiding the "shipwreck" of
your faith (1 Timothy 1:19). An authentic,
believing community where doubts and
struggles can be discussed openly acts as a
force field around your boat, keeping you on
course and away from the rocks.
Additionally, the Body of Christ provides a
place in which to directly address dissonance

and its causes. Confession of sin (James 5:16),

encouragement (Hebrews 10:25) and truthful
perspective (Proverbs 27:6) are three things
that strengthen believers who are in healthy
community.
In Ephesians 6, Paul talks about putting on
the armor of God. There may be times when
we've failed to wear the armor for so long that
we don't even realize we're unprotected and
being overwhelmed by the devil's "fiery darts."
At such times, our fellow soldiers who know
our weak points can step in to help us reapply
the armor.
Beauty in Discord
As painful and destructive as dissonance can
be, the truth is that a lack of harmony is a
natural part of our world and relationship
with God. Think about the gospel. There is
implied dissonance in the fall of humanity, a
sovereign God who chooses to insert Himself
into time and even die to redeem a fallen race.
Scripture tells us the earth groans for
redemption (Romans 8:21). In essence, our

world exists in a state of disharmony, waiting

for the ultimate fulfillment of God's plan.
Wikipedia says this about musical dissonance:
Despite the fact that words like "unpleasant"
and "grating" are often used to explain the
sound of dissonance, in fact all music with a
harmonic or tonal basis even music which
is perceived as generally harmonious
incorporates some degree of dissonance. The
buildup and release of tension (dissonance
and resolution), which can occur on every level
from subtle to the crass, is to a great degree
responsible for what many listeners perceive
as beauty, emotion and expressiveness.
This illuminates a beautiful truth. Dissonance
exists to be resolved and turned to beauty.
And God's purpose is to resolve it in such a
way that the music created is a testimony to
His power and grace.
When Joe was at his lowest point, his sister
and her family intervened. "They told me,
'We're not losing you,'" he says. They invited
him into their home where he was subjected to
persistent, intentional, sometimes-painful

community. "If it weren't for them, I don't

know where I'd be today," he says.
Within that community, God began a process
of restoration. Over the course of several
months, He began to resolve the out-of-tune
chords in Joe's life and replace them with
harmonious ones. And in the resolve of the
dissonance, Joe recognized more fully than
ever before, the music God wanted to play in
his life.
Dissonance does not have to signal the end of
faith in Christ. Harmony is one of the things
God offers us through Christ. In the hands of
an almighty, skilled Conductor, sour notes can
be the beginning of a heavenly opus.

SEX: Why Wait?

I am not going to shy away from it and use
phrases that dance around the issue. Now I
know some of you all have been living in SIN!
"Doing the do!", shaking up Doing the
reproductive dance! Laid up but not prayed
up! Living like David and Beth Sheba!
So let's just be clear the Bible does prohibit
sex before marriage. Sex, in fact, is intended
for marriage. So lets just establish that from
the get go. And I know what some of you are
thinking: "Waiting for sex until marriage!? I
dont know, this is the twenty-first century,
you can't possibly expect me to wait till
MARIAGE! Right? "If I dont have sex people
will make fun of me"
Sex is a big deal obviously, so I dont think I to
will able to debunk sex before marriage in one
chapter, I think it requires some in-depth
discussion. I just want to bring up some key

points that will encourage you to start

thinking deeper about this.
We are in one of the most sex-saturated
cultures. Everywhere we go we are constantly
reminded of our sexual nature or even its
enhance as we see it so many times over and
over again.
Our culture is always telling us to embrace
sexuality; 'You dont need to have a ring to
have sex' 'You just need two things consent
and contraception' as long as you have those
two things you good. I mean we humans,
right? God gave us this sexual desire, so we
shouldnt neglect it, we should embrace it
completely. We treat our sexual desire like our
normal appetite. If am sleepy am going to
sleep. If am hungry am going to eat. If am
thirsty am going to drink. If am itching am
going to scratch it. If I feel like having sex I
should be able to have sex too. Those super
Christians have too many rules.
Meany people think that Christianity holds a
very low view of sex, in fact, it's just the
opposite. Christianity holds an extremely high

view of sex. The apostle Paul presents the idea

of sex in a way that was unheard of in his
culture and was much higher that the idea of
sex in his day and really is still higher than
the view of sex today.
The very first commandment God gave Adam
and Eve was at its core was have sex, make
babies. Be fruitful and multiply. King
Solomon writes an entire book that was full of
romance, but also filled with sexuality. Clearly,
God condones Sex, and Christians should be
okay with it to, but everything has its proper
context and the context for sex is marriage.
And we really dont need a good reason to wait
to have sex until marriage if God already said
wait until marriage, his authority alone is
good enough. God stills requires purity from
his people, despite cultural changes despite
the increase of the average age of marriage,
despite the multiple sex message that we see
around us every single day! If we try to force
God to change his ways base on our fragile
and passing cultures then he ceases to be
GOD.

What good is serving a God that changes every

time the wind blows? If God requires for sex to
only be in marriage in the old and New
Testament, then he stills requires it now.
The world view is that we got to have sex, it's
natural like eating food and sleeping and
scratching our itches, but its not. You cant
compare having sex to eating or sleeping, even
the secular world agrees with this whether
they want to admit it or not.
The first time Adam saw Eve she must have
been nice because he just broke out into
poetry 'Bone of my bone! The flesh of my
Flesh! and even the secular world agrees with
this there is something about sexuality that
could only be explained through poetry and
song, unlike food, think about it when was the
last time you heard a love song about food.
How long do you think that artist career would
last if they just sang about food?
No matter how you try to, skew sex in a way
that is unbiblical theres is something that is
exchanged during sex in the way that God
created to be. And a lot of people in our

culture has the misconception that sex before

marriage just makes the relationship much
better like you can't have a good relationship
without good sex.
A relationship before marriage can be very
healthy without sex, in fact, more healthy
because both people know that they are in it
just for the other person nothing else. Sex is
not a factor, unlike other desires, sex is a
completely different animal, like if you are just
hungry or really thirsty then youre just going
to get a bit irritated, maybe a little annoyed,
but when you want sex you do all kinds of
stupid things!
Abstaining from sex will keep your mind clear
as your taking on one of the biggest decisions
that you will ever make in your life;
MARRIAGE! The last thing to determine
something that is going to change my entire
life like whom am going to marry? What type
of kids am I going to have? Which will
determine where I will live. What type of job
am I going to have? The last thing I want that
is going to determine all of that is lust! I want

to make sure that lust has nothing! To do with

those decisions, because lust is flakey!
Some people find it so hard to leave a
relationship that they know they should not
be in, simply because the sex is good to them.
Could you imagine how much easier the
breakup would have been if sex was not
involved. I am not saying that breakups are
complete easy if theres no sex involve but lets
be honest if theres not sex its a lot less messy
and by this time I sought of know what youre
thinking: But if am going to marry this
person. If am going to spend the rest of my life
with this person. I need to know that the sex
is going be good to me. So if the sex is not
good youre not going to marry them? If you're
shallow enough to leave somebody because of
sex. I think the other person is the one that
dodges the bullet, not you.
News Flash Marriage is not all about sex
granted sex is a significant part of it, but it
should not be the main thing, its definitely
not the main aspect of marriage, or at least it
shouldnt be. So if you know you stay with
someone if you love them unconditionally you

know you will stay with them despite sex being

good or being bad, then you need to know the
sex before marriage has no purpose.
Now lets talk about this idea of good sex bad
sex because its a comparative term. How do
we know if sex is good or sex is bad? Its
because were comparing it to the sin we have
already done and we are trying to compare
this is good base on what I had before or this
is bad base on what I had before.
Before I move on first of all God created sex so
there is no such things as bad sex all sex is
good. Sex is only seen as better or worse when
its compared to somebody else and thats not
the way God intended sexuality to be. The
bible confirms this in Ephans it said
husbands love your wifes like Christ loves the
church. I believe that this idea of sacrificial
love can apply to wives as well. So if we are to
love like Christ love the church. Then how did
Christ love? Well, Christ was a servant. And
thats what Christians are supposed to be too.
The idea of good sex bad sex promotes the
idea of: Well, what can you do for me? But

loving like Christ said; what can I do for you?

So its servanthood even in marital sexes, its
still servanthood. You may say: I am in a
committed relationship we are very serious
were using birth control no one getting STDs
no one getting pregnant so whats the problem!
Some Christians think it's okay to have sex as
long as they are in a serious relationship.
Well, it doesn't get more serious than
marriage. So lets asked this question to the
singles. How many coat on coat serious
relationships have you been in. that did not
end, in marriage? The answer is all of them! If
you are not married now, the answer is all of
them did not end in marriage.
Even engagement is not enough because many
engagements do not end in marriage. So how
many serious relationships are you going to
have to have sex with before you actually get
married? JUST WIAT.
Another problem with this serious relationship
argument is that youre really not getting all of
someone the way that God intended it to be,
its basically saying that I want to be

emotionally and physically vulnerable to you,

but not legally financially socially vulnerable
to you. Ultimately youre selling yourself short,
because God intended for us to be naked to
someone not just one way but in many ways;
naked physically
naked emotionally, naked financially, naked
socially, completely vulnerable to this person
but if you think that your only worth being
naked in two ways emotional and physically
and not everything else then that is a
completely different discussion, but if you're
planning on marrying that person why not
wait until marriage. It might get you the alter
a bit faster and if you dont wait, lets be
honest. How special will your honeymoon sex
be really?
God wants us to wait for sex until marriage
not because hes this domineering, mean God
that says I give you this gift but you cant play
with it. He wants us to wait for good reasons
there are much emotional and physical pain
that we can avoid if we just set aside our selfs
and wait till marriage.