Procrastination

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Ric Dakin

EQ

Procrastination

Thinking Outside the Box

Power Naps

Persistence

Negotiation Skills

Adaptability

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Emotional Intelligence
The Ability to Reduce Negative Emotions
Perhaps no aspect of EQ is more important than our ability to effectively manage
our own negative emotions, so they don't overwhelm us and affect our judgment.
In order to change the way we feel about a situation, we must first change the
way we think about it. Here are just two examples:

Reducing Negative Personalization. Avoid jumping to a negative

conclusion, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation. Avoid
personalizing other people's behaviours. People do what they do because
of them more than because of us. Widening our perspective can reduce the
possibility of misunderstanding.

Reducing the Fear of Rejection. Manage your fear of rejection by

providing yourself with multiple options in important situations Have strong
alternatives going forward. Avoid putting all of your eggs in one basket
identify Plan B, and Plan C, For example:
Increased fear of rejection: Im applying for my dream job. Ill be devastated if
they dont hire me.
Decreased fear of rejection: Im applying for three exciting positions. If one
doesnt pan out, there are two more Im well qualified for.

The Ability to Stay Cool and Manage Stress

Most of us experience some level of stress in life. How we handle stressful
situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and
poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep
in mind is to keep our cool. Here are two quick tips:

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A. If you feel anxious or stressed, get some cold water on your face to help
keep cool and breathe in some fresh air. Avoid any caffeinated drinks as
they simulate nervousness.
B. If you feel scared, depressed, or discouraged get active and start doing
intense aerobic exercises. Interval Training, pushups, crunches, squats or
just walking can all help relieve stress.

The Ability to Be Assertive and Express Difficult

Emotions When Necessary
"Being who we are requires that we can talk
openly about things that are important to us,
that we take a clear position on where we
stand on important emotional issues, and
that we clarify the limits of what is
acceptable and tolerable to us in a
relationship."
Harriet Lerner
Show people where you stand and be assertive about it
Do this by:
Exercising your right to disagree
Saying "no" without feeling guilty
Setting your own priorities
Getting what you paid for
And protecting yourself from duress and harm

One method to consider when needing to express difficult emotions is the XYZ
technique - I feel X when you do Y in situation Z. Here are some examples:

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"I feel strongly that I should receive recognition from the company based on my
contributions."
Avoid using sentences that begin with "you" and followed by accusation or
judgment, such as "you are...," "you should...," or "you need to...." "You"
language followed by such directives put the listener on the defensive, and
make them less likely to be open to what you have to say.

The Ability to Stay Proactive, Not Reactive in the Face of

a Difficult Person
Most of us encounter unreasonable people in our lives. We may be stuck with a
difficult individual at work or at home. Its easy to let a challenging person affect
us and ruin our day. What are some of the keys to staying proactive in such
situations? Here are three quick tips:

When you feel angry and upset with someone. Its important to stay
calm and slow things down, take a deep breath, and take a few seconds to
defuse the situations. If you still havent calmed down take some more time, if
you can, get away from the situation.

Another way to reduce reactivity is to try to put yourself in the

difficult individuals shoes, even for just a moment. Think how hard
it is to be them at the moment and start with the phrase it must not be easy.
Be reasonable and considerate. Remember using empathetic statements dont
excuse the inappropriate behaviour; it is just to remind you that it is their own
issues that are causing it.

Set Consequence. Identifying consequence(s) is a useful ability to get the

difficult person to stand down from the situation. Consequence gives pause to
the difficult person and allows them to render their disrespectfulness.

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The Ability to Bounce Back from Adversity

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've

lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to
take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed
over and over and over again in my life. And that is
why I succeed.
Michael Jordan

We all know life isnt always easy and the way we think, act, and feel in relation
to lifes challenges can help us succeed in life and overcome the barriers and
obstacles you encounter. Each challenge you must learn from by asking the right
questions such as; What is the lesson here? How can I learn from this
experience? What is most important now? and If I think outside the box, what
are some better answers? The better the question the more you can improve
upon the situation.

The Ability to Express Intimate Emotions in Close,

Personal Relationships
Verbal bidding: Be polite.
Body language bidding: Make positive eye contact. Smile
Behavioral bidding: Offering food or beverage, a personalized card, a
thoughtful gift, a needed favor. Empathetic listing. Engaging in shared activities
that create a better relationship.

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Negotiation Skills

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Negotiation Skills
Rules of Negotiation
Never be the first to quote a price avoid questions like whats your
budget. And redirect the conversation to something else this is gives you
leverage in negotiating
Allow things to slow down, this helps you take a minute to make the right
decision and research what you want to buy. An impatient dealer always
loses
If you are not satisfied with deal dont be afraid to walk away. The ability
to walk away from a bad deal is key for skilled negotiators.

Stages of Negotiation
In order to achieve a desirable outcome, it may be useful to follow a structured
approach to negotiation. For example, in a work situation a meeting may need to
be arranged in which all parties involved could come together.
The process of negotiation includes the following stages:

Preparation
Discussion
Clarification of goals
Negotiate towards a Win-Win outcome
Agreement
Implementation of a course of action

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Interpersonal and Communication Skills

Problem Analysis
Skilled negotiators must have the ability to analyze a situation to find out what the
interests of the opposite party are. A detailed problem analysis identifies:
The issue
The interested parties
And the outcome goals
For example, an employee contract negotiation the interested parties are the
employee and the employer, the issue would be the employees salary, and the
outcome goals would be ensure the employee is satisfied with the salary
employer can accommodate with a balanced budget.

Preparation
Before entering a bargaining meeting, the skilled negotiator prepares for the
meeting. Preparation includes determining goals, areas for trade and alternatives
to the stated goals. In addition, negotiators study the history of the relationship
between the two parties and past negotiations to find areas of agreement and
common goals. Past precedents and outcomes can set the tone for current
negotiations.

Active Listening
Negotiators have the skills to listen actively to the other party during the debate.
Active listening involves the ability to read body language as well as verbal
communication. It is important to listen to the other party to find areas for
compromise during the meeting. Instead of spending the bulk of the time in
negotiation expounding the virtues of his viewpoint, the skilled negotiator will
spend more time listening to the other party.

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Emotional Control
It is vital that a negotiator have the ability to keep his emotions in check during
the negotiation. While a negotiation on contentious issues can be frustrating,
allowing emotions to take control during the meeting can lead to unfavorable
results. For example, a manager frustrated with the lack of progress during a
salary negotiation may concede more than is acceptable to the organization in an
attempt to end the frustration. On the other hand, employees negotiating a pay
raise may become too emotionally involved to accept a compromise with
management and take an all or nothing approach, which breaks down the
communication between the two parties.

Verbal Communication
Negotiators must have the ability to communicate clearly and effectively to the
other side during the negotiation. Misunderstandings can occur if the negotiator
does not state his case clearly. During a bargaining meeting, an effective
negotiator must have the skills to state his desired outcome as well as his
reasoning.

Collaboration and Teamwork

Negotiation is not necessarily a one side against another arrangement. Effective
negotiators must have the skills to work together as a team and foster a
collaborative atmosphere during negotiations. Those involved in a negotiation on
both sides of the issue must work together to reach an agreeable solution.

Problem Solving
Individuals with negotiation skills have the ability to seek a variety of solutions to
problems. Instead of focusing on his ultimate goal for the negotiation, the

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individual with skills can focus on solving the problem, which may be a
breakdown in communication, to benefit both sides of the issue.

Decision Making Ability

Leaders with negotiation skills have the ability to act decisively during a
negotiation. It may be necessary during a bargaining arrangement to agree to a
compromise quickly to end a stalemate.

Interpersonal Skills
Effective negotiators have the interpersonal skills to maintain a good working
relationship with those involved in the negotiation. Negotiators with patience and
the ability to persuade others without using manipulation can maintain a positive
atmosphere during a difficult negotiation.

Ethics and Reliability

Ethical standards and reliability in an effective negotiator promote a trusting
environment for negotiations. Both sides in a negotiation must trust that the other
party will follow through on promises and agreements. A negotiator must have
the skills to execute on his promises after bargaining ends.

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Negotiation Skills

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Procrastination

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Procrastination
Active and Passive
Procrastination is avoiding something that you need to do until the very last
moment. It is usually perceived as something bad, but thats not always the case
there actually is good and bad procrastination, its called active (good) and
passive (bad) procrastination. Active procrastination means you realize that you
are unduly delaying mowing the lawn or cleaning your closet, but you are doing
something that is more valuable instead. Passive procrastination is just sitting
around on your sofa not doing anything. Active procrastination is good when it
comes to making a decision its good to leave it to the last moment possible so
that you can get all the information possible to make the best decision. However,
its still bad to avoid a project or task that you need to finish so its important to
find ways to get these tasks done as soon as possible.

Active Procrastination
Rules of Active Procrastination:
Slow down
o Example: the reason a professional tennis player can return a
serve that is going faster than 100 mph is because they have the
ability to wait until the last millisecond and pick up as much
information as possible before they return it.
Manage delay
o Example: in a hospital a doctor has 1 minute to make a decision
and should wait until the 59th second before the decision is final.
Wait too long and it may be to late for the patient, decide too early
and risk making the wrong decision.

Not everything is a crisis

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Procrastination

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o Example: if we owned a stock that went down 5% the best thing to

do is nothing, people who buy and sell to frequently do much worse
than people who sit on their investments.

Simple Two-step Process

Step one is asking yourself: what is the longest amount of time I can take before
doing this? Step two is, delay the response or the decision until the very last
possible moment. If it is a year, wait 364 days. If its an hour, wait 59 minutes.

Passive Procrastination
Techniques That Beat Procrastination
Know yourself
Understand how procrastination affects your life and think about what habits
usual cause it. Identifying what the causes are helps prevent procrastination in
the first place.

Practice Affective Time Management

Estimate completion time of tasks and then compare the accuracy of these
estimates to other tasks. This helps avoid stress and simplifies the working
pattern.

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Thinking Outside the Box

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Thinking Outside the Box

Ways to Think Outside the Box
Study another industry.
Pick any industry other than your own and look into it you might find
that the people in that industry face similar problem you face in your
industry. They may have developed new innovative ways when dealing
with these problems. You might also find that there are connections
between your industry and this one that will create a strong, innovative
partnership in the future.

Learn about another religion.

Learning how the structure of a religion relates people to others and
the world itself can help you develop mental flexibility. When you really
look at all the different ways people comprehend the same mysteries
will help you realize the limits of your own religion, which will then
transfer to any part of your non-religious life.

Take a class.
Learning something new is a great way to acquire unfamiliar
information, but in will also teach you another way of looking at
everything, your life, society, or the natural world. This will help you
expand the range of solutions you can think of to solve
problems/situations and how you look at them.

Read a novel in an unfamiliar genre.

Try getting in the habit of reading as often as possible (and actually
finish the book). But also try to pick a new genre that you otherwise
would never have touched. Pay attention to the problem the author
would have had to deal with. For instance, how does the fantasy author

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bypass your normal skepticism about magic and pull you into their
story? Try to connect these problems to your own problems you face.
How might your marketing team overcome your audiences normal
skepticism about a new miracle product?

Write a poem.
Poetry will bridge the gap between the rational left side of the brain
and the creative right side. Write a poem about a problem youve been
having, it doesnt have to solve the problem just shift your way of
thinking to the more creative side of the brain.

Draw a picture.
Like writing a poem, drawing something also comes from the creative
right side of your brain. It allows you to visualize and bring out other
modes of thinking, which is another way to boost your creativity

Turn it upside down.

Physically flipping something or mentally re-imagining it can help you
discover patterns that you didnt know were there. The brain has
several pattern habits that interfere with one another and sometimes
more subtle patterns can hide more obvious ones.

Work backwards.
This will break the brains normal conception of connection. It is key to
plan backwards, its like setting a goal and thinking back through the
steps reach it until you get where you are now

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Ask a child for advice.

Children speak with an ignorance of convention that can be helpful.
Think about how you might re-articulate a problem so that a child
could understand it. It doesnt matter what the child says, its only
important that you allow your thinking to take a more unconventional
path.

Invite randomness.
Embracing mistakes and incorporating them into your projects
developing strategies that allow for random input, working amid
chaotic associations of sound and form all of these can help to move
beyond everyday patterns of thinking into the inspirational.

Take a shower.
Showering is the ideal situation for something called a creative pause.
The creative pause is defined as the time
interval, which begins when the thinker
interrupts conscious preoccupation with an
unsolved problem, and ends when the
solution to the problem unexpectedly
appears in consciousness. (The Creative
Pause, 1967)

This is an interruption that is an everyday activity for most and even

though it is a schedule interruption, it still is a daily interruption that
could be useful for you. Here are some additional observations on how
showering can open your creative side and introduce new ideas

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Theres little opportunity for distraction. The confinement

produced by the physical environment of a shower results in
isolation from work materials, digital devices, and social
interaction. You have no choice but to allow yourself to become
engaged in a new activity in solitude, while either thinking freely
about something entirely different or continuing previous thought
without distraction.
Minimal mental engagement is required for the task at
hand. The monotony and nearly subconscious nature of
scrubbing, rinsing, and washing frees the mind to focus on things
other than the physical activity of showering. You become
preoccupied with entertaining yourself mentally.
Showering creates a white noise effect. Though Suzanne
and I never chose to use a white noise machine with any of our
infant children, some parents swear by them. This is because
white noise can aid concentration by blocking out irritating or
distracting noises in a persons environment (Wikipedia). In the
case of an infant, the goal is typically sleep. In adults, however,
the goal may be to better focus on the problem and its solutions.
Water that is sprayed from a nozzle and falls to the ground may
result in a white noise-like environment.
A change of scenery sets the stage for the unexpected.
Merely changing your view and perception of things sometimes
results in new thinking. With showering, the change is the
location, temperature, attire (or lack thereof), and the addition of
water. Coincidentally, the solution for positioning mirrors on the
Hubble Telescope during a 1993 servicing mission was conceived
by electrical engineer James Crocker as he was showering and
observed

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Thinking 3-Dimensionally
What is Third Dimensional Thinking
The ability to see things from every perspective or the ability look at a
situation and track any scenario from its past to its future. It is
important to know that just because we see three dimensionally with
our eyes it doesnt mean our brains can perceive three dimensionally
when we are thinking. What Three Dimensional Thinking does is it
ensure we dont drift into the realm of convergent thought, and
convergent thought is when thinking in which ideas are analyzed for
how logical they are or in which a specific set of rules has to be
followed.
My visual thinking gives me the ability to do
a test run in my head on a piece of
equipment Ive designed just like a virtual
reality computer system. Mistakes can be
found prior to construction when I do this[I
realized] that other people were not stupid
but lacked the ability to visually think
(Grandin, pg. 17).

Broadening the thinking

We search for a range of
characteristics and angles related
to a certain problem. We study
different opinions, points of view,
and various solutions. When you
broaden your thinking you gain the
ability to access and collect more
information and formulate your
choice or opinion on the matter. A
question may act as an effective
catalyst for the spread of knowledge and the creation of ideas. If you
know the right question and the right people to ask then you better
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your own creative thinking. These are ways you can broaden your
thinking by asking the right questions:
Questions from different perspectives
Address a problem in as many ways as possible.
o Why does this present a
o Where can we find
problem?
organisations that experience
o Why does it require a
similar problems?
o When (in which
solution?
o Why should it be me who
circumstances and in what
period of time) will the
solves the problem?
problem become urgent?
o Which other, related
o
When can we make a first
problems exist?
step towards a solution?
o Which problem elements can
o When is the right time to call
be distinguished?
in outside help?
o Which aspects of the
o What will happen if no
problem look familiar?
solution is found at all?
o Who actually owns the
o What extra information do I
problem?
still need?
o Who will ultimately be faced
o
What other problems are
with this problem?
linked with this specific
o Who can help me find a
problem?
solution to the problem?
o How did the problem arise?
o Where will the problem
o How can I solve it?
occur?
o How fast do we need a
o Where can I find more
solution?
information?
o
o
o
o
o
Questions to delay judgement
o A checklist is a simple technique way that induces you to
delay your judgement concerning a proposed resolution, a
policy option, or a certain vision. However, when you make
a habit out of broad thinking you will not need this
technique since you have internalized.
o What is positive about
o What is my gut feeling?
this?
o What is interesting about
o What is negative about
it?
this?
o What alternative will be
o What does my experience
available if I say no to
with earlier propositions
this?
tell me?
o
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Questions requiring a change in perspective

o You can broaden your thinking by viewing a problem and its
possible causes then looking at the results from various angles.
For example:
Viewed from various levels, what are the
problems/causes/results at the level of the individual, the
organization and (inter) national society?
Viewed on the basis of various (system) characteristics
demonstrated by the
Organization, which causes/consequences can be
distinguished with respect to
o Organization processes?
o Organization structure?
o Organization strategies?
o The human factor within our organization?
o The level of knowledge available in the organization?
o Our business communication?
o Our business environment?
Viewed on the basis of various (inherent) characteristics
related to a certain event, a certain problem or a certain
development:
o What could be the ensuing opportunities?
o What threats may result?
o What gains and losses may be involved (short-term, midterm and long-term)?
o How urgent and how important is the matter at hand? o
o Deepening the thinking
o Try to detect a problems underlying concepts and assumptions
that will reveal new light on the issue.
o Think about the statement our organizations staff members
generate an insufficient number of good ideas, which colleague
has told your consideration on this issue refers to the underlying
assumptions that lie at the very heart of this statement. Think of
this like an iceberg, you can only see 10% of it and the rest is
below water level. The assumptions you make are coming from
what you depict from what you see (the 10% of the iceberg out
of the water). Possible assumptions laying the foundations for
problem formulations can be found below the surface.
o
o Shifting the thinking
o We view the problem in a context that is completely different
from the one in which it originated.
o
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o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o

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