Kovach

Carly Kovach
Professor: Adam Padgett
English 102 Section 33
November 22nd, 2016
Serving Justice The Right Way

Comment [KM1]: Underline

Nic Sheff, the once inspired, intelligent, and happy student-athlete, began experimenting
with drugs when he was twelve years old. What started with marijuana and alcohol immediately
led to shooting heroine and crystal meth. With isolated family relationships, living on the streets
and his life at stake, Nic forced depression upon himself rather than reaching out for help.

Comment [KM2]: I would change this forced seems too

harsh. Maybe change to felt?

Thankfully, with the support of rehabilitation centers and his loved ones, Nic is currently five
years sober and living life the way a normal teenager should. Drug addiction is not a moral
failing, rather, it is a disease like any other. It affects everyone differently, and the more powerful
it becomes, the harder it is for people to fight back.
Drug crimes have been, and continue to remain, one of the top four reasons for the United
States having the highest incarceration rates. While the War on Drugs continues to remain
problematic, our countrys incarceration rates have also increased severely due to excessive
punishments for non-violent crimes. Proper education for high school students and parents needs
to be given in order to provide people with an understanding of punishments directly reflecting
each crime. In addition, if excessive punishments for low-level crimes were reduced, more
addicts or criminals could have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes with mandatory
classes or treatment centers. Therefore, with proper education and appropriate sentencing for
certain crimes, the United States incarceration rates as a whole will decrease in the future.

Comment [KM3]: and their parents

Kovach 2

But first, how do we even know our incarceration rates are a problem? According to the
Bureau of Justice Statistics, the United States has had the highest incarceration rate in the world
since 2002, with around 500 prisoners for every 100,000 people. To put that in prospective, the
normal rate of incarceration for most countries tends to stay around 100 prisoners per 100,000
people, causing the United States to house 25 percent of the worlds prison population. That is
not something to be proud of. Clearly our current system needs to be changed in order to
decrease such drastic numbers. Another opposing thought to this argument could be about the

Comment [KM4]: Maybe combine these two sentences

with an and to make it flow?

biasness of our court systems if we were to change sentences for certain crimes. However, what

Comment [KM5]: I would change to is just to make you

seem more credible.

people fail to recognize is the fact that most criminals committing these severe crimes have more
concerning problems than breaking the law. Also, many people tend to portray all criminals in

Comment [KM6]: Maybe give a brief example.

the same light. Regardless of their crime, and whether they served one month or one year behind
bars, criminals are one in the same to most people. Yet, why should two criminals receive the
same punishment when their crimes are incomparable? We are so quick to see the worst in
people we dont stop to compare each individual crime, as well as see to it that these criminals
do not end up back in prison soon after their release. This argument pushes for lower
incarceration rates, and in order to obtain that, one of the main focuses needs to be on each
punishment for every individual criminal. Every criminal will be given a punishment. What is
important, is that these punishments are accurately representing their wrong-doing. If these
certain aspects are not talked about or fought for more often, people will be unaware of the harsh
and unfitting sentences being given to the ones who do not deserve it.
People who have serious drug problems need more than jail time for their actions. Severe
drug abuse is not something that will disappear while being incarcerated. We continuously treat

Comment [KM7]: Change to viewed.

Kovach 3

addicts like they are morally corrupt or failures when in reality we are the ones who need to help
them realize there are numerous options for recovery.

This chart represents data collected from 2007 to 2015 showing the amount of Maryland deaths
due to overdosing on heroin. In just one year the number of deaths reached 700! Change needs to
be enacted: without it, death and incarceration numbers will only continue to rise at a disturbing
rate. According to a Pew Research article, author Seth Motel claims that, sixty-seven percent of
Americans say that the government should focus more on providing treatment for those who use
illegal drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Mostly due to health reasons, they need to be given the

Comment [KM8]: In text citation after this.

suitable treatment for their addiction because drugs that dangerous have the power to kill people.
This is not to say that these addicts should avoid receiving jail time for their actions. Drugs that
dominant and dangerous are illegal for a reason. However, rather than solely being forced to
serve time, it needs to become mandatory for these offenders to undergo treatment in order to
stop their addiction while behind bars. That way, when they are released, there is no chance of
relapsing. Drug abuse can be prevented, and it is our job as supporters to make that happen.

Comment [KM9]: I would get rid of this word.

Kovach 4
In relation to severe sentencing and treatment for high-level drugs, we need to discuss the

appropriate punishment for low-level drug cases. Social media editor Andrea Caumont issues the
idea of having lower incarceration rates in relation to legalizing marijuana. She states, roughly
seventy-two percent of Americans say government efforts to enforce marijuana laws cost more
than they are worth. Additionally, sixty- two percent of Americans do not categorize marijuana

Comment [KM10]: If you are going to make this argument

I would not include your first paragraph because it makes it
seem like you believe that these low-level drugs are
gateway drugs in your first paragraph, but now youre
supporting the other side of the argument in this paragraph.
Comment [KM11]: Start this quote with roughly
Comment [KM12]: In text citation here

as a gateway drug. If this high of a percentage describes the opinions of most Americans,
clearly there are reasons behind these thoughts. Regardless of the fact that they are both drugs,
punishments for the illegal use of marijuana should not be the same as punishments for the
illegal use of heroin or cocaine. Although everyone reacts differently to drugs, trying heroin once
can cause one to become addicted before they even realize. They find themselves dependent on
the drug, and feel like the only way they can be happy is if they are high. Once their addiction
becomes more severe, they not only put themselves in danger, but also the ones around them.
This situation specifically involves parents who are addicted. Kids growing up with addicts are

Comment [KM13]: I would say This situation can involve

parents who are addicted.

exposed to drugs as well as alcohol at too young of an age, and are provided with the sense that
using drugs is okay. More often than not, these kids end up following their parents and becoming

Comment [KM14]: I would change to drug use.

addicts early in life. Smoking marijuana is completely different. There are no severe addictions
to this all natural drug. In addition, it continues to be used for medical purposes and has already

Comment [KM15]: All-natural

been legalized in at least 8 states. However, waiting around for all 50 states to legalize marijuana
is not going to help our incarceration rates. We need to be proactive towards the problem, but the

Comment [KM16]: This is a great transition

first step is realizing which drugs are considered low-level compared to ones deemed high-level.

Comment [KM17]: I would change this to and which are

Drugs may be for recreational purposes, but more often then not they are used as a way to escape

Comment [KM18]: Than*?

reality and problems. If we can provide the comfort of treatment facilities as well as education

Kovach 5

and confronting feelings of sadness and depression, we can stop people from turning to drugs
during a time of need.

Comment [KM19]: Their times

Lawrence Sherman, an experimental criminologist, police educator, and the founder of

evidence-based policing, proposed the idea of discovering more effective programs for crime

Comment [KM20]: Might need to explain what this is,

because common people (like me) do not know.

prevention without prison. Sherman plans to use his uniquely created experiments to discover an
all inclusive group of knowledge on prevention and other means of legal agreement that would

Comment [KM21]: All-inclusive

create credible alternatives to incarcerating people. These experiments will be designed to

evaluate the productivity of rehabilitation programs by allowing implications on casual
relationships with a specifiable degree of certainty. Different designs can potentially misinterpret
the information by saying a program works when it doesnt, or that it is effective when it is

Comment [KM22]: Maybe give an example of this?

actually ineffective. This can help understand if an addict is truly recovering or just doing what
they can to meet the requirements. By using criminology experiments we can present additional

Comment [KM23]: Change to or just doing the minimum

requirements.

ways to go about enacting punishment without sending people to jail, ultimately decreasing our
incarceration rates.
Author Steven Raphael, professor of public policy in the Goldman School of Public
Policy at the University of California Berkeley offered his thoughts on additional ways to reduce
and steady the incarceration rates. He believes that the size of a nations prison population relies
heavily on the rate at which we admit individuals into state prisons, and the rate we release them.
Often these rates depend on the offense type and the criminal justice history of the offender.
Incarceration rates are directly related to crime, so if crime rates were to reduce the incarceration
rates would follow. Raphaels opinion is to focus on the less serious offenders. Our court system
needs to realize the difference between a repeated offender and a new one so that the amount of

Comment [KM24]: one, so

Kovach 6

time they both are required to serve will not be equal. Raphael conducted multiple simple
replications of the nations incarceration rate for 2005 using actual rates from prison admission,
parole failures, and prison releases. He discovered the incarceration rate was 553 per 100,000 for

Comment [KM25]: 553 what? People? Prisoners?

the year of 2014. He tested what would happen if the crime rate decreased by twenty percent and
found that the incarceration rate lowers to 499. Raphaels evidence proves that if mandatory
education was provided more people would be aware of crime rates and which activities have a
zero tolerance policy, leading to reduced incarceration rates.
Although being educated on our criminal justice system in its entirety is essential, we
also need to think about how many one time offenders end up becoming repeat ones. Despite the

Comment [KM26]: One-time

different reasons these criminals were imprisoned to begin with, in order to stop our
incarceration rates, it is crucial these offenders learn from their mistakes or obtain the necessary
help in becoming sober. When I had the opportunity to tour my hometown court house in

Comment [KM27]: One word

Virginia Beach, we walked through the jail where criminals stayed awaiting their trials. We had
a chance to listen to some of their stories, and what surprised me the most is the fact that each
person who shared their story admitted they never learned from their initial mistakes. They were
so concentrated on serving their time and being released that they paid no attention to their
parole officers or their requirements upon being released. Personally, I cannot fathom what it
must be like to spend your life locked up in a jail cell, especially when it could have been
prevented. This chart represents the amount of Maryland criminals who found themselves back
in correctional facilities after only three short years of being released.

Comment [KM28]: I would get rid of this, makes it less

professional, and all people probably feel this way anyways.

Kovach 7

The first few months after being released needs to be spent requiring the criminal to attend his or
her necessary education programs. Despite what their crime pertains to, we need to communicate
with them on a personal level in order to ensure stability. Being behind bars changes people
socially and mentally, and the last thing they need is to be in an environment that got them in

Comment [KM29]: I would change to the

trouble originally. If we can connect with them and help them find their meaning in life, there is
no doubt they will remain sober in the future.
While this argument focuses on lowering incarceration rates, we need to keep in mind
that these criminals are people too. Treating them differently upon their release puts the notion in
their head that they will never be able to move passed their wrong-doings. More importantly,
these are peoples loved ones and family members. Nobody should be turned away or

Comment [KM30]: Past*

Comment [KM31]: One word, no hyphen.

disrespected after they have taken the necessary steps to recovery and recognized what they have
done wrong. Being open and willing to confront your mistakes takes more mental power then we
will ever understand. I chose this topic not only because I am fully interested in our countrys
court system and incarceration rates, but also because I know what it is like to have a family
member turn to drugs in desperate times. As much as I wanted to feel hatred and disappoint, I
still saw the loveable, selfless, happy person he used to be and knew that the only way I could
help was by showing support. Nobody chooses a life of addiction and imprisonment for
themselves. It is a sad topic to discuss but nonetheless it is an essential one. If there are
preventative options for drug abuse or education on criminal activities, we need to pursue them.
Our incarceration system in its entirety needs to be based off of a non-biased, accurate structure.
Criminals should not be excused from their rightful punishments, and low-level offenders should
not be put away for life. Justice needs to be served, but in the right way.

Comment [KM32]: Than*

Kovach 8

Works Cited

Caumont, Andrea. "Americans Skeptical of Value of Enforcing Marijuana Laws." Pew Research
Center RSS. N.p., 2013. Web. 21 Sept. 2016.
DeSilver, Drew. "Feds May Be Rethinking the Drug War, but States Have Been Leading the
Way." Pew Research Center RSS. N.p., 02 Apr. 2014. Web. 21 Sept. 2016.
Dickinson, Tim. "Crime, Politics and Justice." Rolling Stone 1238 (2015): 34-37. Academic
Search Complete. Web. 18 Oct. 2016.
Motel, Seth. "Americas New Drug Policy Landscape." Pew Research Center for the People and
the Press RSS. N.p., 02 Apr. 2014. Web. 21 Sept. 2016.
Raphael, Steven. "How Do We Reduce Incarceration Rates While Maintaining Public Safety?."
Criminology & Public Policy 13.4 (2014): 579-597. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13
Nov. 2016.
Sheff, David. A father tells the story of his sons struggle to stay clean. NPR. NPR.org, 3
Apr. 2013. Web. 14 Nov. 2016.
Sherman, Lawrence W. "Reducing Incarceration Rates: The Promise of Experimental
Criminology." Crime & Delinquency 46.3 (2000): 299. Academic Search Complete. Web.
18 Oct. 2016.
Snyder, Howard N., and Jeanne B. Stinchcomb. "Do Higher Incarceration Rates Mean Lower
Crime Rates?." Corrections Today 68.6 (2006): 92-97. Academic Search Complete. Web.
18 Oct. 2016.

I honestly think the first paragraph isnt necessary. It kind of goes against all of your arguments,
and because of this you definitely dont want to start your paper with it, so I really dont think

Kovach 9

you need it, its honestly a little distracting. Your closing paragraph is definitely the strongest
part of your paper and it is really good! Besides that, I would maybe put in your conclusion or
beginning paragraph (or both) a sentence that sort of lists the main problems with incarceration
rates that you are addressing throughout this paper, just to make it more clear for the readers.