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Sarah Katz
Professor Beadle
English 115
3 October 2016
Society: The Dictator of Gender
Even when we dont realize it, humans are constantly influenced by society. Society tells
us what our interests should be, how to dress, and how to behave around other people. These
ideas are clearly portrayed in Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender
by Aaron Devor, No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity by Emily Kane, Night to His Day: The Social
Construction of Gender by Judith Lorber, and From Women, Men, and Society by Claire
Renzetti and Daniel Curran. According to these articles, society creates rules for doing gender
that influence children how to dress, behave, and present themselves through the influence of
their parents. These expectations have a negative effect on children because they are forced to
compare themselves to others with the same gender, altering them as a whole and discouraging
self-expression.
Gender norms play a big part in our lives as children, and we are easily influenced by
them in the school yard. In Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender, Judith
Lorber discusses how adults, such as parents and teachers, input gender categories into the
developing brains of young children. She writes Through cognitive development, children
extract and apply to their own actions the appropriate behavior for those who belong in their own
gender, as well as race, religion, ethnic group, and social class, rejecting what is not appropriate

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(Lorber 25). Children apply these appropriate gender behaviors to their lives and therefore learn
how to distinguish each gender correctly, ultimately seeing different behavior as wrong. In
elementary school, I was a little on the tomboy side, so I would always compare myself with the
girly girls and tried to act like them because I was taught thats how all girls should act.
Similarly, Aaron Devor in his article Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of
Gender mentions a study proving this early skill. He states ...young school age children, who
were given dolls and asked to identify their gender, overwhelmingly identified the gender of the
dolls on the basis of attributes such as hair length or clothing style, in spite of the fact that the
dolls were anatomically correct (Devor 37). Lorber and Devors articles prove how we learn
gender expectations at a young age that would influence how we interact with others.
Over the course of our lives, gender norms have a negative effect on how we treat and
interact with each gender. Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran wrote From Women, Men, and
Society to discuss how parents treat their newborn based on his/her sex. They write Even
though American parents do not express a strong sex preference, research shows that parents do
have different expectations of their babies and treat them differently, simply based on sex
(Renzetti and Curran 76). Based on this statement, parents generally favor one sex over the other,
and they expect one gender to behave differently than the other (since in todays society, its
implied that gender and sex are one in the same). From Women, Men, and Society also states
that ...parents associate their childs sex with specific personality and behavioral traits is further
evidenced by the effort they put into ensuring that others identify their childs sex correctly
(Renzetti and Curran 77). My mom bought me tons of girly clothes to dress me up in when I was
a baby, but I wasnt in control of what I wanted to wear. Parents discourage gender inappropriate

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behavior and looks, so they go out of their way to prove their childs gender to the public to fit
in with societys expectations. Renzetti and Curran clearly explain how gender norms affect
humans negatively and ultimately makes parents treat their children differently.
Because society tells us how to dress and behave according to pre-determined gender
roles, it is taking away our freedom of self-expression and individuality. Emily Kane in her
article No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens
Gender Nonconformity includes quotes from parents saying what they would do if their child
picks a toy geared towards the opposite gender. She includes this quote If we go into a clothing
store...I try to shy my son away from the Power Puff Girls shirt or anything like that...I would
steer him away from a pink shirt as opposed to having him wear a blue shirt. (Asian American,
middle-class, heterosexual father) (Kane 93). This quote also connects back to how gender
norms are forced in the lives of young children and causes their parents also to choose what they
can and cant have. Back to Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender,
Persons who perform the activities considered appropriate for another gender will be expected
to perform them poorly; if they succeed adequately, or even well, at their endeavors, they may be
rewarded with ridicule or scorn for blurring the gender dividing line (Devor 40). Kane and
Devor prove how society puts limits on what each gender can wear and how they act, ultimately
limiting creativity and uniqueness and discouraging children to freely express themselves.
All of these authors, Lorber, Devor, Renzetti, Curran, and Kane, are trying to tell parents
and society that children are never going to fit exactly into the mold of their gender.
Fortunately, my parents allow and encourage me to express my true self and therefore Im not
forced to be just feminine. Society really is the dictator of gender because of the constant

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limitations and discouragement it puts on humanity. Why cant society let us be? How come we
cant be who we truly are? If gender is inevitable, then societys stereotypes and judgements are
inevitable as well. However, society doesnt have to control us - we should encourage others
every day to be unique and be themselves. Why should we have to compare ourselves to others
who are similar to us in more ways than one? Every person, no matter their gender, deserves
happiness, and most importantly, respect.

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Works Cited
Devor, Aaron. Becoming Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender. Composing
Gender, Edited by Rachel Groner and John F. OHara, Bedford/St. Martins, 2014, P.P.
35-43.
Kane, Emily W. No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to
Childrens Gender Nonconformity. Composing Gender, Edited by Rachel Groner and
John F. OHara, Bedford/St. Martins, 2014, P.P. 91-97.
Lorber, Judith. Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender. Composing Gender,
Edited by Rachel Groner and John F. OHara, Bedford/St. Martins, 2014, P.P. 19-33.
Renzetti, Claire, Daniel Curran. From Women, Men, and Society. Composing Gender, Edited
by Rachel Groner and John F. OHara, Bedford/St. Martins, 2014, P.P. 76-86.