Introspections on Dejection

After facing his own Job-like crisis in life, Percy Bysshe Shelley found solace in poetry.
In his poem Stanzas Written in DejectionDecember 1818, near Naples, Shelley uses a large
variety of tools in order to examine his situation and find his own variation of peace with his
fate. Percy Shelley is able to touch the hearts of all lonely readers by making the world come
alive within the poem through beautiful imagery, allowing the stark contrast of his own lonely
world to stand against the vibrant life he shapes with carefully constructed stanzas.

Comment [SK1]: Great title

Comment [SK2]: I would include a sentence about this

before you reference it (talk briefly about what a Job-like
experience is).

Comment [SK3]: This is a good claim, but clarify what the

large variety of tools is (and, since the assignment is to focus
on just one formal aspect of the poem, make sure to
elucidate which one of the tool you want to focus on, i.e.
choose either imagery or contrast, but dont choose both)
Comment [SK4]: You mention imagery here, so I as the
reader assume that imagery is the formal aspect you want
to choose. However, in the last paragraph, you talk about
contrast instead of imagery. (See the Response letter
section on thesis for more on this)

Shelley uses personification in a vibrant and elegant way in order to create a happy and
beautiful world for his readers. Waves are dancing fast and bright (2), and the moist earth
breathes (5). Everything Shelley describes is in some way alluring, being either pure, warm,
bright or otherwise engaging. He implies the signs of future life and hope in his mentioning of
unexpanded buds (6) lying in wait beneath the earths crust. Shelley leaves with the reader an
image of a beautiful beach bursting with light and possibility and hope. When he concludes the
first stanza with The Citys voice itself is soft, like Solitudes (9), that image of a living beach
then becomes connected to a lively and peaceful city, full of happy people enjoying life as
exuberantly as nature herself does, though they must be off in the distance, the bustle barely
heard from on the shore. With one small tool, Shelley has set the stage where he can truly
epitomize upon his own dejected feelings.
As he begins his second stanza, Shelley adds a few more details about his surroundings,
delving more into the life of the sea. However, it quickly takes a turn as the light descriptions
become more pointed. Seaweed is strown (11), and there is lightning (15) and flashing
(16). On their own these words, while quite descriptive, are not very dark. Once combined with
the loaded phrase I sit upon the sands alone (14), however, they take on a new meaning. What

Comment [SK5]: When using quotes, make sure to be

specific on what the quote means. In this case, instead of
saying everything Shelley describes, you could say Both
the images of waves and the moist earth are in some way
alluring or something like that.

Comment [SK6]: I would put a quote right here to show

the reader what passage of the poem you are referring to
and explain how the beach is living (you use the phrase
living beach in the last paragraph)
Comment [SK7]: I think this is a very interesting line. I
would like to see you talk about what the citys voice
means and how it is like solitudes voice

Comment [SK8]: I really like this being the transition to the

next paragraph, but, as the reader, I am still a little confused
how has talking about the beauty of the world and
happiness sets the stage for Shelley to talk about his
dejected feelings. Clarify how this metaphor in this part of
the poem sets up for the metaphors in the next section.
Comment [SK9]: This is a good sentence and I think you
should keep it, but it does not really tell what the point of
this paragraph will be. Instead of having it as your topic
sentence, I would move it to later in the paragraph and
make a new sentence that better encompasses the point of
this paragraph
Comment [SK10]: the poem?
Comment [SK11]: Great claim, but clarify what the new
meaning is

before could be dazzling or majestic becomes harsh and unfriendly weather conditions no man
wishes to face in his most vulnerable state: isolation. And now finding himself in such a state,
Shelley exposes his own doubts as he recognizes his own predicament and mordantly remarks
How sweet! Did any heart now share in my emotion (18) and begins a long repetitive list of all
he lacks. Drawing upon historic figures and those in the not-so-distant city, Shelley illustrates
how one can be so lacking even surrounded by the beauties of nature.
Percy Shelley takes the next step from loneliness and impoverishment to the inevitability
of death. I could lie down like a tired child/ And weep away the life of care (30-31), he
expresses openly. Then, using our underappreciated ability to touch and feel, he takes a moment
to contrast warmth and cold in life and death. He compares death to sleep, something that comes
slowly, yet is impossible to fight off indefinitely, commenting that some might lament that I

Comment [SK12]: Good topic sentence, but it needs to

relate more to your thesis and your chosen formal element.
For example, since if your formal element is imagery, make
your topic sentence here about how Shelley uses images
relating to death and weariness to show the inevitability of
death.
Comment [SK13]: Explain how this quote alludes to death.

were cold, (37) because of the strain on a heart lost with those it loved. Shelley expresses the
sadness he anticipates upon the ending of the beautiful day that surrounds him, emphasizing as a
parallel symbol that it will come to an end just as his own life is ending.
Pulling out one last contrast however, Percy Shelley displays his one last ray of hopeful
truth with thoughtful caesura: for I am oneUnlike this day, which, when the Sun/Shall on its

Comment [SK14]: Again, in this sentence, I would talk

about imagery instead of contrast, because it seems like
your chosen formal aspect for this assignment is imagery
(see Response letter section on thesis)

stainless glory set,/ Will linger though enjoyed, like joy in Memory yet.(41-45). Just as
Shelleys memory lingered on the joy of the beauty of nature before him, and possibly the many
memories created in that spot in the past, he recognized his own ability to leave an impacting
mark that would be more permanent than a days light. Shelley once again uses a contrast in
order to allude to the reader the sharp contrast between life and death, hope and dejected despair.
Despite his lonely status, Shelley recognized his ability to leave a more permanent mark than the
very awe-inspiring forces of nature, and found inspiration in the depths of a moment of great

Comment [SK15]: Great job explaining the quote here

dejection in his life. He leaves his readers with the hopeful message that despite the stark
contrast of their sorrows and daily problems to the beauty of nature and the good fortune of
others, they are capable even in their most dejected state of leaving joy in Memory yet (45).

Name of Student,
I really enjoyed reading your paper on Shelleys poem. I had never read the poem before and I learned a
lot about it through your paper. I can tell from your essay that you researched the poem well and had
original thoughts on what the images in the poem meant. I have made a few marginal comments on your
draft and, in this letter, Ill discuss some global aspects of your paper that you can consider during your
revisions.
Thesis
According to Dr. Westovers prompt, the assignment is to "choose one formal aspect of the poem that
interests you and develop it into a topic." Although you have done a great job of developing a topic, you
mention two formal aspect of the poem in your thesis (imagery and contrast). In order to better fulfill the
assignment, I would revise the thesis to include only one of those formal aspects. Then, after revising
your thesis, you could modify the rest of your paper to reflect that formal aspect. I know this will take a
lot of revision, but it is important to make sure you are turning in a paper that meets your professors
expectations.

Paragraphing/Topic Sentences
The organization of your essay is good, but your topic sentences may need a little revision. The
transitions in your essay were a little choppy and do not always reflect what was going to happen in the
paragraphs. One way to improve transitions is to figure out what the purpose of each paragraph is. You
can accomplish this by looking at each paragraph separately and determining what your main point is in
each. If theres a sentence in your paragraph that doesnt fit into the main idea, you can move it. Once you
have done that, go back and rewrite your topic sentences while making sure that each transition addresses
the topic of your paragraph, connects to the topic of the paragraph above, and relates back to the thesis of
the paper. If each of your topic sentence can accomplish all three of these points, you will have smooth
transitions throughout your paper.
Quotes
You used a lot of great quotes throughout your paper. However, I noted a few places on your draft where
you included a quote without providing a specific explanation of what the quote means. Clarifying your
quotes could add a lot of depth to your paper and could help you to better support the claims you are
making. I would recommend going through your paper to each quote and making sure that each quotation
is explained and related back to your topic.

Comment [SK16]: Great paper! It needs a little revision,

but I think you made a lot of great points and I can tell you
read over the poem a lot. The main things I would revisit
during revision is your thesis, your topic sentences, and your
quotes (see response letter below). Other than that, keep
up the good work.

Again, I think that your paper was excellent and I am glad I had the opportunity to read it. Please let me
know if you have any questions or comments about either my marginal comments or the suggestions I
made in this letter.
See you soon,
Sarah

Work Cited

Shelley, Percy Bysshe. Stanzas Written in DejectionDecember 1818, near Naples. The
Norton Anthology of English Literature, edited by Stephen Greenblatt. W. W. Norton &
Company, Inc. 2012, pg. 778-779.