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Create Happiness
For most of us, happiness is what life is all about. Our dreams and goals revolve
around happiness. And it seems that we know what is best for us, because when we are
happier, we are also healthier. Research clearly shows that happier people have fewer
physical ills, they age slower and live longer. There is no one happiness formula that is
right for everyone, but the behavioral experts continue to prove that there are several
factors that contribute most to meaningful happiness.
Happiness is a state of well being, filled with positive feelings toward yourself and
the world. Of course, truth is what works for you, and if you believe something to be, it
becomes so for you. So your own ideas about happiness are important to the attainment
of happiness. If you stop to think about it, just about every decision you make is based
upon what you think will bring you more happiness. All of the important aspects of
your life, your love and relationships, your job, your level of success, your friendships,
your sexuality, and spirituality are a means to bring you happiness. Among the
encouraging news found in psychological research studies comes knowledge that people
are infinitely changeable. Once they have established clarity of intent, they can alter their
personalities, rise above neurotic patterns, and find happiness at almost any age. The
experts claim that throughout your entire life relationships are continually reshaping
you. And an imbalance at one point can be corrected later on.
Most of the suggestions have already been shared in other chapters, but Im going to
repeat them again, together, because this combination of factors is most likely to
generate happiness.

1. Love yourself
Love yourself. This is critically important. Self-esteem is a cornerstone of happiness
and mental health. Contentment is a benefit of loving yourself and is the core of
motivation. Your self-esteem is primarily based upon what you do in life. When you do
things that make you feel good about yourself, you increase your self-esteem. When you
do things that make you feel bad about yourself, you lose self-esteem. (Read the
Enhance Self-Esteem chapter.)
Self-esteem is also the result of how you look. So if there is something you dont like
about the way you look, get to work on a program to change for the better. This is
sometimes the fastest way to begin increasing your feelings of self-worth.

2. Strive for a loving life

Research shows that people who are in love are actually happier. Statistically, a
happy marriage is the most important contributor to well being, according the
University of Chicagos National Opinion Research Center. And even if marriage is not a
consideration, almost any kind of loving relationship will increase happiness. This can
be with children, family, friends, or a small group with a purpose. Even pets can be of

value here. It seems that when you care about someone else, you feel better about
yourself.

3. Get a job you like

Surveys show that people consider their work to be crucial to their happiness. And
those who are happy in their work, are happier overall. It seems that our work defines
and affirms a feeling of self in powerful ways. There is also a theory that we channel our
anger and aggression into wrestling with our work projects. Completion results in a
feeling of triumph over an adversary. Mothers and homemakers have unique full-time
jobs of their own, but even those who cannot take on regular employment can volunteer
activities or tackle a hobby or a garden.

4. Decide what you want

The primary reason people are not as happy and fulfilled as they want to be, is
because they do not know exactly what they want to do with the rest of their life.
Sometimes, even when they think they know, they are fooling themselves and they are
wanting it for the wrong reasons. If you dont know what you want, now is the time to
figure it out.

5. Change beliefs that work against you

Ive already discussed beliefs in the Reverse Aging chapter (#8), and the Become
A Success chapter (#14). But Ill approach it here for a different perspective. In a
seminar, I once had an overweight woman stand up, put her hands on her hips and say,
Richard, Im over-weight because I over-eat, not because of my beliefs.
Your beliefs are causing your to over-eat. If you want to lose weight youll have to
change those beliefs, I said in response. As I explained to her, Ive created hundreds of
self-change tapes and CDs: hypnosis, subliminals, sleep programming, self-talk, goalimprinting. And what do these audio programs do? Everyone of them is structured to
change the listeners beliefs by programming new beliefs into their subconscious mind.
So what are your basic beliefs about happiness? You may think you need something
you dont really need to be happy. In other words, if you think you cant be happy
without a relationship, then you wont be. Although that probably is not a fact. If you
believe that sex can only be so good, that is all the better it will be for you. If you believe
you can only achieve limited success, that is all you will achieve. Your disharmonious
beliefs are like walls, surrounding you and restricting your life. But if you want to tear
down the walls, you must first recognize that you are not free. You cannot change what
you dont recognize.

6. Live as fully as possible in the present

Live in the present, one day at a time. All too many people tend to live in the past or
in the future. In so doing, they are incapable of experiencing the moment. So in effect,
they are missing out on life. For the rest of this day, why not tune-in to everything in
your lifeperceive the people and surroundings as if you were a writer with an
assignment to capture the details of your day with words and images? Read more in the
Increase self-esteem chapter (#3).

7. Develop meaningful activities

Some researchers rate meaningful activities as the most important ingredient for a
happy life. Your happiness may directly relate to the amount of time you spend doing
things you find satisfying and enjoyable. These are activities that allow you to express
what you consider yourself to be. For one person, this might be their work. For another,
a special interest. And a young mother might find looking after her child to be her most
meaningful activity.

8. Open to the power of human touch

Research is confirming what mental-health professionals have been saying for years.
Your sense of touch is very important to your well being. Through touching others, we
fulfill much of our human needs, which results in attaining happiness. Through touch
we can affirm friendships, project approval, and communicate important messages.
Touch promotes health and helps us to establish love.
But all too often, people equate touch with sex or violence. So they avoid such simple
acts as a pat on the back, a sincere handshake, or a hug. Touch others to show that you
care and to express your affection.

9. Accept that what is, is

We have relationship problems, we lose loved ones through separation or death, we
experience loneliness, sickness and accidents. We are haunted by guilt, have monetary
hardships, experience phobias and fears, and have unfulfilled desires. And we
experience this distress because we desire things to be different than they are. In short, it
is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering.
Income taxes exist, thats what is. Gravity exists, thats what is. Your mate is quiet
and stubborn, thats what is. You can spend your life attempting to change what is, but
there is not much you are going to do about it. Instead, concentrate your efforts on the
things you can change.
But you should hear the resistance to this concept, I hear in my seminars. People
want things changed. In fact, they want everything they dislike changed. And some
think I am advocating a total passive acceptance of life as it is. This is certainly not the
case. I advocate that your learn to recognize the difference between the things you can
change and the things you can not change. Then stop wasting your energy on resisting
what you can not change. When you accept what is in your life, you simply accept facts.
You accept logic. In reality, you have no choice in accepting what is. It is what is. But
you certainly have a choice in how you respond to what is. You can handle it, or make it
worse by generating negative subconscious programming.

10. Accept that you can not

change other human beings
No one can change someone else, nor should they expect another person to become
anyone other than who they are. This is faulty thinking, for any forced change will not
last, or it will result in new eruptions of unsatisfactory behavior. We are all free human
beings and must be respected for what we are, not for what someone else wants us to be.
It is a basic human right to be who you are without changing your ideas or behavior to

satisfy someone else. If your behavior makes someone else uncomfortable, they have the
right to leave. The same goes for you. Often in a close relationship, one person will
compromise in hopes of achieving harmony. They change, and thus the other person is
now reacting to a different, changed person. And often they also change, not because
they are being asked to, but because they want to. In a situation like this, the change is
natural and will probably last.

11. Develop detached mind

The vast majority of people on this planet live out their lives knowing only attached
mind. This means your state of mind is always changing from positive to negative as
outside conditions change. This is extreme fluctuation from happiness and joy, down
through neutral to the basement of emotions: depression, hostility, anger.
Examples of attached mind: 1) You are enjoying a relaxing afternoon with your mate
until he says something to irritate you. Your response is anger and you dwell upon the
remark for the rest of the day. 2) You climbed into the shower wearing your brand new
electronic watch. The water ruins it, and you become depressed. 3) You give a
presentation at your club and it is well received. But afterward, someone whos opinion
you respect, criticizes your presentation and you respond with hostility.
The goal is to develop detached mind. This means your state of mind fluctuates only
from positive to neutral as outside conditions change. You accept all the warmth, joy
and happiness that life has to offer while detaching from negativity by allowing it to
flow through you without affecting you.
Examples of detached mind: 1) You are having a relaxing afternoon with your mate
until she says something negative. Your response is neutral. You realize that it isnt what
someone says to you that affects you, it is only what you think about what they say that
affects you. It is what you add to it. You're are also aware that her response is only an
expression of her past programming so to take it personally is foolish. 2) You climb into
the shower with your watch on and the water ruins it. In understanding that you can do
nothing about it, you accept what is. You refuse to get upset to get upset and make
matters worse by programming your subconscious mind with negativity. 3) You give a
presentation at your club and it is well received by all but one person. When he criticizes
your presentation, you realize your critic is speaking from his viewpoint, which has
nothing to do with the facts. You know your talk was well received and you have
detached from the need to be right.
To develop conscious detachment, means to detach only from the negativity in your
life. This does not mean having no feelings. It is not a matter of ignoring faults or
mistakes. You simply stop judging and labeling what happens to you. Im talking about
being totally involved in your life and enjoying everything there is to enjoy, while
detaching from the negativity.
By eliminating the negativity, you have more time and room for love and warm
interaction. When you cease to be concerned with negativity, youll be more likely to
enter into whatever you do without holding anything back, free to be entirely at one
with circumstances.

12. Choose a positive viewpoint

You always have the free will to choose how you are going to view an incident or
situation. Put a positive spin on the negativeeven if only to say, Well, I certainly
learned a lesson I wont soon forget.
As Ive said in other chapters, if there were no problems to challenge you, there
would be no growth. There would be no way for you to learn how to handle things and
become aware of your capability for making your life work.
The real secret to growth and happiness through problems, is to look upon problems
as opportunities. The bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity. In regard to many
problems, nothing about the situation will change but your viewpoint. And yet by
changing your reaction to the situation, you eliminate the problem, because if you are
not being affected by a problem, you dont have a problem.

13. Embrace laughter

Laughter is valuable in healing and it helps to generate happiness by helping you to
maintain a balanced perspective. Laughter also has many positive physical side effects
such as lowering blood pressure and improving digestion.

14. Exercise your body to influence mind

There is a direct and powerful connection between physical exercise and mental well
being. Exercise increases self-esteem, relieves anxiety, improves attentiveness, dissipates
stress, and elevates mood. Investigate a good age-related exercise program.

15. Take the time to enjoy leisure

Leisure not only reduces stress, it enhances contentment. Relaxing and enjoying life
is often the most productive thing you can do.

16. Give to others

Research studies show that altruism increases happiness. Losing yourself in others
can be great self-therapy.

17. The older you get, the happier you will be

A University of Michigan study of thousands of Americans shows that the older
people get, the happier they become. People from 45 up enjoy more self-confidence and
are likelier to be more realistic in their expectations.

18. Learn to use your time successfully

Research shows that unorganized people are not as happy as those who are
punctual, organized and efficient. Take a time management course at your local college
if you need help in this area.

19. Protect your health with proper diet and lifestyle

Although good health doesnt produce happiness, ill health and pain destroys the
feeling of well being.

20. Develop a diverse life

Develop a diverse life and many sources of satisfaction, including love, work,
friendships, traveling, fitness, hobbies, spirituality and much more. Real involvement in
life creates happiness.

21. Seek out close friends of both sexes

Seek out and maintain close friends of both sexes. None of us are solitary creatures.
We all need warm interaction with others to feel fulfilled. Platonic relationships with the
opposite sex round you out as a human being and offer a sounding board for differing
viewpoints. Same sex friends are one of lifes pleasures and will be there to support you
in times of need.

22. Make sure your life includes challenge and aliveness

Challenge is critical to your well being and will usually result from wise risking.
Challenge generates aliveness. And if the challenge is built upon a positive premise, the
aliveness manifests as real enjoyment in doing what you do. It is the excitement and
exhilaration that make you feel glad to be alive, the joy, stimulation and pleasure that
make life worth living.

23. Stop worrying about what other people think

The expectations of others will dominate you if you let them. Expectations are the
enemy of freedom. What you think is what is most important.

24. Stop blaming others

Blame is nothing but an expression of self-pity. The happiest people take full
responsibility for their lives. If you dont like the reality you have created, you have the
power to change it and to change yourself.

25. Act to create change

You have to act if you want to create change in your life. Use self change tapes/CDs
to support your goals. Once you are clear on your intent, this mind programming will
assist you to accelerate self-change.

26. Use self-hypnosis

Daily use of self-hypnosis mind programming will support your goal of creating
happiness. The final chapter tells you how.

Create Happiness Summary

1. Love yourself.
2. Strive for a loving life.
3. Get a job you like.
4. Decide what you want.
5. Change beliefs that work against you.
6. Live as fully as possible in the present.
7. Develop meaningful activities.
8. Open to the power of human touch.
9. Accept that what is, is.
10. Accept that you can not change other human beings.
11. Develop detached mind.
12. Choose a positive viewpoint.
13. Embrace laughter.
14. Exercise your body to influence mind.
15. Take the time to enjoy leisure.
16. Give to others.
17. The older you get, the happier you will be.
18. Learn to use your time successfully.
19. Protect your health with proper diet and lifestyle.
20. Develop a diverse life.
21. Seek out close friends of both sexes.
22. Make sure your life includes challenge and aliveness.
23. Stop worrying about what other people think.
24. Stop blaming others.
25. Act to create change.

Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to
include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
Every day in every way I love myself more and more.
I make the time to do things that are satisfying and enjoyable.
I am self-confident and self-reliant.
I give love and I am open and receptive to receiving love.
I catch negative thoughts and turn them positive.

Without resistance, I now accept the things I cannot change.

I choose to live one day at a time.
I seek out friends of both sexes.
I accept others as they are without expecting them to change.
Negativity flows through me without affecting me.
I now view problems only as opportunities.
I maintain a daily exercise program.
I act to create a diverse and thrilling life.
I know I can change myself in any way I desire.