I

It was a bright Saturday morning with birdsongs and sunshine - a perfect day for
Feira da Ladra salesmen to get lucky. As well as tourists, Lisbon inhabitants also
went there to search for cheap utensils, things for household use, antiques and trifles
to supplement their collections. But sometimes it was just a pure curiosity that
brought people to this flea market to look around. Two young girls in their twenties
were crossing Campo da Santa Clara street laughing and having some cheerful talks
about those old people emptying their houses so their kids dont have to do that
when they die.
I think you can find pretty much anything here.
Human kidneys too?
We will see.
Ellen and Deborah were slowly exploring the flea market, sometimes stopping when
they noticed something unusual. Girls stopped to take a look at some vintage clothes
and surrealistic paintings. Ellen found these things interesting but she didnt plan to
buy anything that has no practical use until she saw one thing.
Coloring book?.. Ellen looked excited.
6 euros middle aged woman wearing colorful clothes and more than one scarf
laconically stated without even asking a price thats what salesmen often do here.
Girls carefully flipped through a book. It had a lot of mandalas and other abstract
images.
Mandalas are sacred circles, geometric shapes without a beginning or an end. They
echo the balance and symmetry of the world around us - from the nucleus of a cell to
the structure of a snowflake - and they symbolize harmony, wholeness and
healing...
Deborah felt uncomfortable listening to that woman but Ellen was fascinated.
It is so old!
Oh yes, the pages are yellow.
Do you feel that smell, Debbie? Old books... God, I love it

You like painting. Im sure you will enjoy coloring! You should really take it!
And Ellen did. She bought that coloring book for 6 euros and after a few hours walk
in her beloved Lisbon with her beloved and only one close friend Deborah or how
she called her Debbie, came back to her rented apartment alone but inexplicably
happy as she didnt feel for a long time.

II

Days passed and the books pages were filling with colors. Ellen tried to finish all the
necessary tasks as soon as possible so she could physically exist and drift along her
university studies. She was always in a hurry eating, walking home, doing
homework. Endless lying in a bath was replaced by ten minutes shower and
conversations about everything with Deborah changed to talks just about her newly
colored patterns. Sometimes she caught herself being inattentive to her friend.
Deborah talked about music, events or world news but Ellen could make herself
concentrate just to hear part of it. Coloring was her new passion, her world she can
control. Ellen set free her imagination and the book brought out her inner artist. By
following her instincts she created different colors sequences, bunch of finished
artwork.
It seemed that finding a new hobby brought even more colors to Ellens real life. One
afternoon she was looking around clothing shops. She had just gotten in the dressing
cabin to try on new jeans when she heard a timid voice.
Anybodys here?
At first, she didn't answer as she wasn't sure if the question was for her or there were
other people in the cabins. Bet then she heard the same words again.
Yes. Im here she silently answered.
Could you please help me? Im not sure if it fits me... Could you just take a look and
say your opinion?
Ok, sure.
She left her cabin with no shoes, wearing black-grey striped socks. A shamefaced guy
was standing in front of her wearing hipsterish sweater. The cloth was mostly filled
with purple color, it had different lines and patterns, which resembled something

geometrical. Cherry red and light blue lines crossing horizontally, purple, blue and
cinnamon colored shapes filling the darkness, creating something like an alien city
map with the most spectacular forms of "buildings". Ellen couldnt stop looking into
this sweater. The pattern, actually, did not impress her. The most important were the
colors. Their proportion. Sequence. It was her colors the sequence she was coloring
yesterday. It was a strange coincidence - shocking, unexpected accident. But it kept a
smile on Ellens face.
Yea... I know, its nice. But what do you think about the size? Aren't the shoulders
too narrow?
Come on, its Stradivarius. So, its very possible.
What do you mean?
Its feminine clothing brand. Didnt you notice that?
Really? he cracked up.
But dont worry. I think you should just try a bigger size. L maybe.
After the shopping Ellen was walking through the streets rethinking this situation.
She was smiling and sometimes silently laughing with herself. Ellen didnt know if
the reason was that awkwardly cute guy or just the colors of the sweater.

III

It was an early autumn with some golden leaves on the trees, hot cocoa evenings,
some Bossa Nova music with soft and quiet, almost whispering vocals and a lot of
colors in Ellens minds. Ellen felt extremely inspired seeing the slow changes of
nature and there wasnt a day without coloring. Once she took the pencil she dip into
her book with mandalas, shapes and different sized forms like in the ocean. She
forgot about the outer world. She fell into coloring as she would fall into the water
right away, in one moment. And stayed there for a few hours till she felt really tired
madly but happily washed-out. She couldnt notice her inhalations, eye blinks, body
shakes or sitting position changes or cups of tea that got empty. It was her passion
and disease in which she wanted to be ill.
And some magical things were happening in Ellens life too. It seems that she
couldnt hold her colors closed in the book hided in her room. They were like a

hurricane wild, natural, untamed and irrepressible. Colors were breaking into
reality. At first, it was just some small things.
Ellen was meeting with Deborah for dinner in Os Tibetanos. It was a lovely little
restaurant on Avenida Liberdade. The menu was brought and girls had to take a
while to figure out what they wanted. Ellen was furtively looking at what others
were eating and everything looked sumptuous. Ellen couldnt make her final
decision because everything in the menu seemed nice, so she just asked for waiters
recommendation. Within half an hour dishes were served - Ellens vegetarian
casserole and some crispy falafels for Deborah. Ellen made an astonishment sigh
right away and the waiters smile became even wider.
Appetizing... Deborah said.
Ellen was hungry and she was happy to see whats going to appear in her stomach
this evening. But more than the enticing smell of her meal she was charmed by its
colors. Red base mixed with some fresh green elements and some brownish-purple
accents that were the outer skin of European eggplants. Same color sequence as in
her latest colored mandala.
What a coincidence! Deborah wondered after Ellen told her.
If it was a just coincidence, it was a strange and fantastic one. Ellen was absolutely
sure that every single tint of her stew concurred her latest coloring. She was
confident. Maybe she didnt know everything about culture and society in early
Renaissance as she felt she failed this test yesterday but, well, she was a good judge
of colors. She could identify all colors as she spent so much time playing with them.

IV

Not only strange guys sweater or colorful stew in the restaurant brightened Ellens
routine. There were more and more reflections of her artworks in all the places she
went. Sometimes she didnt even notice it. It was sort of usual thing to find her own
colors in real life. It was just Ellens thing. Sometimes she was telling Deborah about
it but she responded quite sceptically.
But its just small things. Some strange little coincidences. The thing you cannot
control is nature. It is unbridle. It has its schedule. Its colors flood is immense. But
just at a certain time.

Then Deborah told friend about When Harry met Sally the movie she saw. She
was fascinated by the autumn that she saw in the film. Warm and colorful fall a
perfect time to take slow walks in the park and fall in love. In a few days Ellen
watched that movie. She was also amazed by those outside scenes with red and
yellow leaves on the trees, on the paths and everywhere... Autumn is a second
spring when every leaf is a flower. she remembered the phrase of Camus. Ellen
would do anything to see those kind of flowers in Lisbon. But what can she do
against natural forces? It was just the end of warm September. Ellen didnt know
what to do so she just started doing what she liked the most. She sat down at her
table, looked at her empty white page with black lines of ornament, deeply breathed
in and started her ritual to forget about all the troubles, daily, even pleasing minds,
even Debbie - starting to concentrate just to one thing. She took a red pencil and
started to color. When she finished it was a blinding night. Her artwork had just a
few colors red, yellow and orange but there was plenty of different tones - from
bright yellow to burgundian red. Ellen felt tired after everything and went to sleep.
Contrary to her coloring book she had blank achromatic dreams during the night.
Ellen woke up and looked through the window. The view was astonishing. She even
had the idea that someone glued photo wallpaper on her window. She opened it to
make sure it was true. Autumn in Lisbon. Giant changes in one night. Everything
like in lomo picture with bright colors that seemed to be so alive. It was all true. Ellen
started to completely understand that it wasnt just coincidences. It was major
changes affected by her. She felt she was powerful and absurdly weak at the same
moment. She didnt know what to do with that.

People hold their own colors and carry them for a lifetime. There are no good or bad
colors, like many things in the world, it is relative. It is about how ones dealing with
it. You can pick up cheerfulness and confidence as properties of yellow color or you
can take the other meanings of the color like greed and egoism.
Ellen could change those colors. What was stable and unshakeable for ages she could
shift in a few hours. She didnt know how to deal with. She didnt even know how to
call it. Power? Curse? Or was is just the magical book? She didnt know what to do so
she just did. Anything. Ellen played coloring without contemplation. Without

thinking about irretrievable consequences. She started to change reality intentionally.

Ellen was having fun and had a bashful intention to amuse Debbie too.
Ellen just had to think about the object she wanted to color and then fill her
ornament with desired colors. Some things looked more expressive, like if you put
some kind of a filter on a photograph, some objects looked inconceivable, some
people looked ridiculous. A road worker with bushy mustache started to look like
Super Mario. Clowns started to wear black and look threatening. If there were a few
children who could laugh of clowns, now there were none. Policemen and
firefighters not only became pink they started to see the world through pink
glasses. They usually forgot about their duties. Policemen couldnt notice violations
of the law but they noticed small things, like the beauty of autumn. Of course, now it
was a little bit distorted like photoshoped. Firefighters did their job carelessly.
They started to see some kind of meaning in the beginning of flame, very pretty,
often hot and fierce, light and flickering. They looked on burning houses or forests
thinking about a feeling which comes sudden like a fire, about feeling that can
become as coal, deep-burning and unquenchable over the time.
But what you could see in some public places well, it wasnt a manifestation of
love. It was a simply passion and brutish lust. Priests and nuns burned in flame red
color. They took irresistible passion as a property of red color and couldnt control
their yearning to be touched by other's lips and hands.
Psychotherapists were colored blue and that made them act cold and apathetic.
Oh come on, we all have problems thats all they could say if they even managed
to lift their eyes from Nintendo console after hearing patients painful confessions.
Scientist became white. Their curiosity and desires decreased. Intelligence became a
blank page. They forgot many things they knew and came back to primitive thinking.
Some people became green and they took greed and egoism as properties of this
color. Waitress serving dishes in a luxurious restaurant suddenly felt an intemperate
appetite. They lost their self-control. They felt envious for rich people who could eat
these gourmet dishes and they started eating up the food in front of those people,
only using hands and hungrily licking sauce drops straightly from the plates
afterwards.
Thats how Ellen changed the world in just one week. She felt the absurd of her
actions but couldnt stop. It was stronger than her. It was like an addiction.
In the first page of the coloring book Ellen wrote a haiku:

In grayness of days
Im crossing the lines again
Coloring myself

VI

Deborah saw zero fun in her friends acts. She tried to talk to Ellen but she wasnt
listening. Deborah even tried to stop her and take the coloring book away. But she
was powerless. She asked Ellen to try paintings on a white paper or maybe buy
another coloring book. But Ellen was obsessed with her new world and old coloring
book. Ellen was different.
Youre creating a dystopia! Its not just in your minds. Its getting real. Dont you
understand that actions you make will cause world destruction?
Deborah said that if Ellen continues this absurdity, she doesnt want to see her again.
Ellen didnt say a word, then opened the door for Debbie to leave looking down to
her knee-socks but silently whispered: Dont leave.
And Deborah left.

VII

It was a blind night and Ellen felt the darkness flowing into her room and the inky
black color soaking through her soul. She was thinking about Debbie which last
words was: For you Im Deborah now and felt a deep sorrow in her heart. She was
here alone with her pain and all her colorful pencils but all she could see now was a
black color. She took on her new page. Here was a lotus flower ornament. Ellen was
unintentionally thinking about her friend and started to color using only a black
color. This time there was no sequence. All ornament was just filled in black. After
that Ellen did not feel any relief or inspiration as she felt last times.

Days passed and Ellen couldnt take her pencils again. She was tired. She was
depressed. Her phone remained silent. Deborah didnt call her. Eventually Ellen
started to regret her actions. She didnt want to change colors of the world anymore.
She missed her friend and wanted her back.
Ellen called Deborah but she didnt answer. Ellen took coloring book with herself to
prove Deborah that she can take it away or destroy it or do whatever she wants and
rushed to Deborahs home. Strangely, the doors werent locked so Ellen entered. She
called Deborah by her name but there was no answer. Deborah wasnt in her room.
Finally Ellen found her laying in the bath unconscious. She was all in grey color. And
the bathroom was also colorless. As Ellen could notice each tint of the color, she
could see, how slowly in every minute Ellen is becoming darker. Ellen
comprehended what is going to happen. Soon her friend will reach #000000 color.
True black color. And she will also become zero. Nothing. She will lose her body and
personality. She will simply disappear.
Ellen took the pencil from her bag and tried to change black colored lotus flower in
her book. She desperately tried to use bright colors on the top of the artwork. But
black color usurped everything without leaving any hope to change it.
Subsequently one idea popped to her head. She went to Deborahs room and looked
over all drawers till she found something.
This is the last chance Ellen thought.
When she came back to the bathroom, Deborah was even darker. Ellen raised her
and laid down on the floor. For one moment she was just standing and looking down
to her friend laying here unconscious. Ellens heart was feeling hopeless. Ellen
opened the gouache paint she took from drawer with her trembling hands. She could
remember Debbie's colors. Some patches she had not seen before but she tried to rely
on her intuition. Ellen was coloring Debbie. Literally. It was entirely new experience
and she was nervous. She mixed colors in palette and tried to do her best. Sometimes
Ellen thought she saw Deborahs lashes quickly and unexpectedly shivering but she
wasnt sure if it wasnt just an illusion.
Stroke after stroke, one patch after another Deborah was recovering. By soft touches
of brush Ellen gave back true Deborahs colors that she impermissibly took. In the
eyes of Ellen Debbie was the same again.

VIII

It was a bright Saturday morning with birdsongs and sunshine. But Lisbon wasn't as
usual... There were colors everywhere and those weren't the natural colors that we
see every day in the city centre. Oh no... Everything - the people, the buildings,
bridges, Tejo river and trams - all colored in bright red, green or blue. There were so
many colors that one couldn't even say all the different shades that were visible all
around. The red bloody macabre Tagus river or the brightly neon pink trams flying
around the streets in dangerously fast manner. Every each one of the buildings were
in different color, sometimes even the different storeys were in separate colors. That
also went for the trees - blue, yellow, red and grey. They all were different, seemed
like painted in unique patterns, some in a geometrical fashion, others in a more wavy
style. A walk through Avenida da Liberdade would make your head spin from
cacophony of the colors and shapes! And all around in this strangely beautiful chaos
there were people, moving in the most unnatural ways possible - some red ones were
actively jumping and running all around, the blue ones rolled like logs in the streets,
the greens crawling on the ground like babies or creeping through with a dreamy
grin on the face, some were just dancing, grey people were lying on the different
colored pavements. It seemed like a scene from a twisted play, a macabre modern
dance that was so strange and creepy, but also charming and eye-catching. A chaos
you couldn't take your eyes of. An unbelievable visual symphony of different colors.
And all this chaos was created by one talented girl in her twenties who was standing
in front of the wall in Avenida Dom Carlos with this stunning graffiti doing the last
strokes. Here also was another girl wearing knee-socks silently watching her friend
working.
Things here are way different from our city with all the boring and predictable
colors she smiled.
Graffiti artist back out a few meters to see the whole painting - colorful and chaotic
Lisbon, created by her own hands. Her name was Ellen.