Topic: Parents should not confuse the definition between discipline and

physical punishment toward their children.

I.

Introduction (Paragraph 1)
A. Hook
If there is a correct answer to a certain problem, do you allow violence
as mean to persuade to other party?
What if that the Ronal Reagan hit Mikhail Segeyvich Gorbachyov on the
head, claiming that his was right? Could the cold war over earlier, not
waiting the collapse of Soviet Union? No one would agree with this idea.
U.S. President Reagan the representative of capitalism federal
couldnt concur with the thought of Gorbachyov, who is the chief of the
opposite party.
B. Connecting Information
Could violence play a role as a reasonable way to persuade others? If
not, why people allow parents to do physical punishment toward their
kids?
C. Thesis statement
Physical punishment cant refer to a discipline method for children. Child
abuser must try to justify their criminal act using the concept of it. In
addition, the existence of concrete alternatives for children can be the
grounds to oppose the physical punishment.

II. Body
A. Paragraph 2 (first reason) topic sentence:
We should pay attention to the negative side that the physical
punishment itself connotes.
1. The traditional Korean families value the hierarchy.
a. Numerous behavior patterns were injected to children as
proprieties, disallowing any exception.
2. If we do not set clear criteria, the harsh mistreatment can be naturally
committed under the name of discipline.
a. Kim did a various research including the attitude of family violence
toward their children.
b. He also researched how many parents did the real punishment to
their children.
3. Negative experiences of childhood could leave a trauma across the
childs life.
a. The YTN news
The 12-year-old girl who has escaped from the house of abuse
shows poor learning ability, and has eating disorders as the
aftereffect of ill-treatment.

b. The Korea Times

The 13-year-old girl had passed away, and police presume the
cause of death as a traumatic shock from a child abuse.
B. Paragraph 3 (second reason) topic sentence:
We should know the definition of the discipline and find out the
proper way to do it.
1. Kostelnik said that the discipline is the process of teaching children to
act the way of social and cultural value.
a. We should separate concepts of discipline and abuse.
b. Discipline can be regarded as a necessary evil; however, we must
know the risk of it.
2. We should consider the stage of cognitive development.
a. Children is not matured enough to have the same viewpoints of
adults.
b. Educational method to raise children should be different,
considering the age of children.
C. Paragraph 4 (third cause or effect) topic sentence:
Parents ought to check if their discipline method is effective.
1. Definition of the word, punishment.
a. Kohn proposed two features of punishment.

2. Punishment is not an effective method.

a. Alternation with punishment is not an ultimate change.
b. Praise and reward: not a perfect method, either.

III. Conclusion (Paragraph 6)

A. Restated thesis: The past society of Korea identifies the concept of
discipline with the one of physical punishment. Since corporal punishment
was regarded as a subordinate concept of discipline, some children were
raised in risky circumstances.
B. Suggestion, opinion, or prediction: To end this misfortune, parents should
figure out the range of understanding with the concept of cognitive
development. Also, they must realize the basic concepts of reward and
punishment that it can be meaningless if they cant satisfy the conditions.

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YTN. Mistreated girl who has escaped her house with bare feet, is suffering for
disordered eating as after-effect of abuse., Yes!TopNews, pp. Society. 11 May.
2016, http://www.ytn.co.kr/search/search_view.php?
s_mcd=0103&key=201605111505423265. Accessed 6 Dec. 2016. Web.