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Johnny: From Television City in Hollywood, this is The $25,000 pyramid!

Lets say hello to


tonights celebrity guests, actress Kate Meduppname and an ink-pen drawing of John Stamos.
And now, tonights contestants: Sharon McClaronn and last nights champion, Todd(shaky)
Meduppname. Now heres your host, Dick Clark.
DC:Good evening everyone, before we get started, Johnny, it sounded like we had a bit of a
mixup
Johnny: Uh, nope, no mix-up; Dick.
DC: Well, it almost sounded like you said our celebrity Kate and our otherwise-normal champion
have the same last name. Thats just absurd, right Mr. Stamos? (beat)
Kate: Actually we do share a last name. (Todd nods)
DC: Well isnt that interesting. Are you two...secret cousins?
Todd: I hope not; were married.
Kate: Separated!
Todd: Wed be divorced if youd sign the certificate!
Kate: You said you lost the certificate. Oh wait, unless; (musically) Maybe youre lying. Again.
Todd: (also musically) I only lied cause youre insane!
Kate: Philanderer!
Todd: Psychopath!
DC: (loudly, affably) Well! Isnt that all just charming!? And hello Janice. Now lets get into the
game shall we? Our category names are: By the Book, Puttin Out and Hoe-Man-Hoe. Todd,
youll be giving the clues, Kate youll be guessing the word hes describing. Which category?
Todd: Why dont we try puttin out? (glaring)
DC: Alright Todd, describe these 5 things a person might put out. 20 seconds. And, go.
(Timer starts. Stagehand shows secret word on easel. Bell rings after correct guesses)
Todd: Okay, when we went to your sisters wedding, you burned me with...
Kate: A cigarette
Todd: Yes, this is where youve said our relationship was, metaphorically
Kate: Garbage can.
Todd: Right, you made up a story about me being a child molester in the
Kate: Newspaper.
Todd: Mhm. I was bald for a year because you set my hair on
Kate: Fire.
Todd: Yup. And you threw one of these at me the night you left
Kate: Candlestick.
Todd: Close!
Kate: Candelabra, candle holder...just a candle!
Todd: Yes!
(Winner bell rings, the couple gets up, stops leering for a second, hugs, then returns to leering)

DC: What chemistry, you two swept through that round perfectly. Now Janice, youll be giving
clues to the inkpen drawing of John Stamos. What category would you like?
Janice: Um, lets try By the Book please.
DC: Okay, youll be describing things associated with a
library
---(the word is Silence, the timer starts)
Janice: (timidly) Okay, its, um, sort of the opposite of loud. Its another word for quiet. (waits for
response) Its what you are right now. Youre doing it. (waits) People say this is golden. Antonym
of boisterous. Its literally what youre being right now. (hums silent, sings night) ---(buzzer)
DC: Oh no, it looks like the word on the tip of his tongue was, Silent. Now Kate, youll be giving
clues, Todd will be guessing. Whats your kate-agory Cat: Category Kate ?
Kate: For Todd, Well take Hoe-Man-Hoe
Dick: Ok, youre describing plants you find in a garden. And, go.
Kate: Okay, when we lived together, this is the the flower we had planted by our Big Bay Window
Todd: Azalea.
Kate: Right. Hey, this is the name we used for the drug we used to keep by our Big Bay Window
Todd: Tree.
Kate: Yup. Oh. And this, this is the name, of the girl I saw you deflowering in our den, with her
bare ass pressed up against our BIG BAY WINDOW!
Todd: Really, while were on television?
DC: 9 seconds Todd.
Kate: 8 seconds Todd!
Todd: Dammit, fine. Lilly! No? (Kate gets stern) Iris. Rose. Rosemary. Basil. Violet! (Buzzer)
Kate: It was Jasmine!
Todd: Dammit, I forgot about Jasmine.
Kate: How many affairs have you had?
DC: It looks like 7! (Janice drops cup) To zero is the score. And it appears that Janice has spilled
her glass of water on the inkpen drawing of John Stamos, making Todd and Kate our winners!
Janice: (holds up, kisses wet paper) It was wonderful to have met you!
Kate: Whats that?
Janice: I said it was wonderful to have met John
Kate: Not that! The back of that cardstock!
Todd: (Grabbing it) Oh my God the divorce certificate!
Kate: Todd; Give. Me. The. Certificate.
Todd: Sure. After. You. Win. Me...
DC: $25,000, so glad you brought that up Todd, its time for your final clue. In this round, youll be
guessing the category. For example if I said, dogs, cats, birds the category would be...

Todd: Things Id have sex with before Kate.


DC: Or
Todd: Things that are housepets.
DC: There we go. Youll have 10 seconds to guess what Kate is trying to get across. And, go.
(Timer starts. Audience is shown the card, Kate reads the card, stands up, slaps Todd across the
face, and grabs certificate)
Todd: Things you should have done a long time ago!
DC: Weve got a winning couple! (Kate and Todd jump up and down excitedly as bells ring and
theme music plays in the background) Do you two have anything to say to each other?
Todd and Kate: (affectionately) I hate you so much!
(The couple embraces; Dick Clark chuckles heartily. Theme music continues; Blackout.)

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