Journal of Human Lactation

http://jhl.sagepub.com

The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood: Coping With Stress, Depression, and Burnout
Cindy A. Stearns
J Hum Lact 2003; 19; 96
DOI: 10.1177/0890334403019001021
The online version of this article can be found at:
http://jhl.sagepub.com

Published by:
http://www.sagepublications.com

On behalf of:

International Lactation Consultant Association

Additional services and information for Journal of Human Lactation can be found at:
Email Alerts: http://jhl.sagepub.com/cgi/alerts
Subscriptions: http://jhl.sagepub.com/subscriptions
Reprints: http://www.sagepub.com/journalsReprints.nav
Permissions: http://www.sagepub.com/journalsPermissions.nav

Downloaded from http://jhl.sagepub.com by Adalene Sales on October 1, 2008

96

Reviews

Good Nights provides new parents with scientificbased arguments that will make them feel confident
about their decision to share their beds with a little one.
Dr. Gordon, a strong advocate of breastfeeding, presents all the advantages of bed sharing that enhance
breastfeeding as well as the benefits of breastfeeding as
it complements bed sharing. By including a discussion
of the concerns of bottle-feeding parents, the book will
appeal to all new families.
Some information focuses on the importance of
touch and human contact for the newborn based on their
maturity and ability to survive outside the womb. The
book is laid out with an easy-to-read typeface and
makes good use of white space, bulleted lists, short
quotes, and sections, making it a quick read for busy
new parents. I enjoyed the question-and-answer format,
along with the entertaining Top Ten Things to Do With
Your Crib list. I also enjoyed the humorous arguments
against the idea that parents who sleep with their baby
will never have sex! Creative options are discreetly discussed in the chapter Love in the Laundry Room and
Other Creative Places to Have Sex.
The back cover includes testimonial statements on
co-sleeping from celebrity couples who bring their children to Dr. Gordons pediatric practice. New parents
will be impressed with the sensible and sensitive way
this information is presented. Good Nights is a significant book to recommend to new parents. Lactation professionals will enjoy it as well.
Mary Kay Smith, RN, IBCLC
Romeoville, Illinois USA
The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help
Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
Elizabeth Pantley
Contemporary Books (a division of The McGraw-Hill
Companies), 2002
254 pages, illustrations and charts, index, (US)$14.95,
softcover
Orders: Contemporary Books, 130 E. Randolph Street,
Suite 900, Chicago, IL 60601
Tel: (312) 233-7597; fax: (312) 233-7570
URL: www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
For sleep-worried mothers, Elizabeth Pantleys book
will probably be helpful. If the mothers goal is for baby
to sleep more hours in a row, co-sleep without breastfeeding at night, or even sleep alone, Pantley offers a lot
of suggestions quite different from the old and insensi-

J Hum Lact 19(1), 2003

tive let him cry it out advice. She does not offer quick,
magic solutions, but rather shows how to slowly,
patiently, and kindly bend infants behavior into parental expectations.
Ideas include putting baby in the cradle while still
awake; removing baby from the breast, bottle, or pacifier while still awake; ignoring little noises the baby
makes when asleep (but never ignoring crying!); limiting
daytime naps; introducing a transitional object; establishing a bedtime routine; making a book or a poster to
teach the child this routine; and much more. The reader is
advised to select those ideas she thinks more useful for
her and her baby. A welcome surprise is the authors ability (unlike most child care experts) to cast doubt on her
own advice, thus allowing the reader to do the same.
The method is not without work. The preliminary
detailed charting (writing down an account of all naps
and all awakenings for a 24-hour period) has to be
repeated every 10 days to check progress. Many mothers all around the world do not share these goals and
expectations and would not understand why sleeping
longer or alone, or having few feedings at night, should
be important enough to suffer all this trouble.
The section on sleep safety is too detailed; sound
advice (eg, sleeping on the back, not smoking) is mixed
with untested ideas that can make new parents think that
sleeping is really very dangerous (eg, avoid strongsmelling perfumes, learn how to perform infant
cardiopulmonary resuscitation).
The book is easy to read, illustrated with black-andwhite photographs and spiced with mothers testimonials. Forms (sleep logs, lists of ideas) are given to photocopy and use. There is a useful index but no references. I
would recommend this book only to those mothers
really worried about sleep or considering a cry-it-out
method.
Carlos Gonzlez, MD
Barcelona, Spain
The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood: Coping With
Stress, Depression, and Burnout
Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett, PhD
New Harbinger Publications, 2001
225 pages, (US)$14.95, softcover
Orders: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 5674
Shattuck Avenue, Oakland, CA 94609
URL: www.newharbinger.com

Downloaded from http://jhl.sagepub.com by Adalene Sales on October 1, 2008

J Hum Lact 19(1), 2003

Reviews

The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood is written for

women who are experiencing the stresses of motherhood and therefore is helpful for many women dealing
with the demanding expectations of the mother role
today. The book clearly describes how and why many
women experience stress, depression, fatigue, and burnout. The descriptions of the emotional downsides of
motherhood are likely to relieve guilt in any mother who
is struggling with not finding motherhood a completely
perfect or easy experience.
The book is written in a friendly and accessible style,
with many examples of real womens experiences,
including the voices of stay-at-home mothers, working
mothers, single mothers, and mothers with disabilities.
It is also informed by academic research about mothering. The author highlights the cultural forces that make
mothering so stressful today, including historical
changes in the work of mothering and the societal value
placed on mothering, as well as the multitude of challenges involved in combining work and family.
An entire chapter is devoted to how to reduce the
work of motherhood by developing realistic standards,
doing things in a more organized manner, and delegating to others more frequently and more effectively.
Another chapter, The Long Shadow, describes the
problems facing mothers who are survivors of childhood abuse. Other chapters describe premature babies,
chronically ill children, children with disabilities, and
parenting children with ADHD. There is also a chapter
on the loss of a child and how that affects mothering of
ones other children. The book includes many practical
recommendations for change, including accessing both
traditional medicine and herbal alternatives. An epilogue provides information about identifying, appreciating, and expanding on the positive aspects of a
mothers life.
This book should be recommended reading for mothers and useful background material for lactation consultants. In sum, it is an informative, practical, and wellorganized resource on how mothering looks and feels
for many women in American society. While this book
is not confined to the experiences of breastfeeding
women, the specific needs of breastfeeding women and
the issues that breastfeeding can raise about mothering
are woven into the text.
Cindy A. Stearns, PhD
Rohnert Park, California USA

97

After the Babys Birth: A Complete Guide for

Postpartum Women, Revised Edition
Robin Lim
Celestial Arts, 2001
372 pages, illustrated, (US)$15.95, softcover
Orders: Celestial Arts, PO Box 7123, Berkeley, CA
94707 USA
URL: www.tenspeed.com
Celebrating birth and sharing wisdom from many
cultures, After the Babys Birth stands out in a field
filled with practical how-to books. Focusing on the
strength of new mothers and their special needs during
this life transition time, Lim weaves folk wisdom and
practical information while sharing natural and wholesome practices. The endorsements on the covers read
like a whos who in the natural birth movement. The
beautiful photos show families from diverse areas of the
world, all celebrating and nurturing their babies. Lim
describes the delicate passage through the early days
postpartum, comparing the support that is or is not available in different cultures around the world.
The message of this book is very important: it is filled
with healthy practices exhibiting global wisdom. The
author presents information about herbs, healthy recipes, healing touch, movement, ayurvedic lifestyle,
issues of the heart, and a wonderful chapter of shared
stories.
The only chapter on infant feeding, Breastfeeding,
Bottle-Feeding, and Breast Care, is by far the longest
chapter and deals almost exclusively with breastfeeding. The short paragraph on The Importance of the First
Two Weeks mentions the big names in breastfeeding
promotion and support: The American Academy of
Pediatrics, the Canadian Pediatric Society, La Leche
League, The Nursing Mothers Council, and ILCA. Furthermore, breastfeeding is referred to as the norm
throughout the whole book.
Occasional confusing phrases or non-evidencebased recommendations may be distracting. The statement, I am a big fan of breast shields (also called
breast shells [p 81]), is fortunately cleared up with
the definition of shells a few lines down. Another example is found on page 54: If your breath is shallow and
inadequate, your milk will not be as good or as abundant, is not based on any evidence.
In spite of these occasional lapses in promoting current research-based practices, this book will be an asset
to mothers who are seeking information from a worldly

Downloaded from http://jhl.sagepub.com by Adalene Sales on October 1, 2008