Perfectionism

Josh Barnard

Abbey Hedgepeth
Sam Kimbrel
Annie Marmiol

"The root of excellence is perfectionism. It is the driving

force in the personality that propels the individual toward
higher and higher goals. There is a strong correlation
between perfectionism and giftedness. I have yet to meet a
gifted person who wasnt perfectionistic in some way."
Linda Kreger Silverman, Perfectionism

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism vs Striving for Excellence

Perfectionism
1. Doing three drafts, staying up two nights in
a row, and handing your paper in late
because you had to get it right - and still
feeling bad about it

2. Studying at the last minute (after three days

of chronic procrastination), taking the test
with sweaty palms, and feeling depressed
about your 96 because a friend got a 98

Striving for Excellence

1. Doing the research necessary for a term
paper, working hard on it, turning it in on
time, and feeling good about it

2. Studying for a test ahead of time, taking it

with confidence, and feeling good about
your score of 96

Causes of Perfectionism
We don't expect you to be perfect, we just expect you to do your best."

Parents, teachers, schools - have to try to avoid putting pressure on children

to be perfect
Children receive extreme praise from parents, and want to continue to satisfy

Difficult to do in a school if parents are also perfectionists and dont have

total control; they already have the attitude that less than your best is
unacceptable
If a child has perfectionist parents and see it modeled, they repeat

Causes of Perfectionism
Activities

Certain activities such as ballet,

gymnastics and music have a
perfectionistic culture, which can
then develop and extend to other
areas of life (academics, sports, etc)

Personal Expectations

When a child has many successful

experiences as a child, they begin to
expect this of themselves

Effects of Perfectionism
on Personal Health

Cautious to take risks

Procrastination
Anxiety
Neurotic perfectionists receive:
No joy
Set unrealistic goals
Work to avoid failure
Humiliated by mistakes
Have low self-esteem

Effects of Perfectionism
on Relationships
Unintentionally condescends others to feel better about self
Feelings of inadequacy sometimes develop in friends/family
members/colleagues of perfectionists

Siblings sometimes under achieve because of the why try? mindset if they
are compared to the perfectionist

Perfectionists often provide unsolicited advice

Benefits of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is generally a positive thing
Many students are perfectionist in some aspects of life but not others
this compartmentalized type is more healthy

Ways to Help Tips to Help Perfectionism

Doing the best you can do with the time and tools
you have, and then moving on

Emphasize the effort and process, not the end

result

Work on how to accept constructive criticism as a

good thing

Teach your gifted child to manage perfectionistic

behaviors and focus on positive self goals

Highlight how effort leads to gradual progress (if a

perfectionist is unwilling to try something they
anticipate being unsuccessful at)

Share your mistakes with a perfectionist and how

they helped you grow

Teach empathy and explain how bragging hurts

others

Moving away from perfectionism doesn't mean

having to drop standards - it's a change in outlook,
not necessarily a change in final results

As soon as I came to realize I could maintain my

standards, but without having to be perfect, it
became much easier for me to change.
-Shaun Hately

Discussion Questions
1. What is the difference between a healthy striving for excellence and a
neurotic preoccupation with perfection?

2.
3.
4.
5.

How do we determine whats a healthy and unhealthy goal?

How do we manage disappointment for a perfectionist?

How do we give joy to the perfectionist learner?
What can parents do to encourage students to do their best without giving
them the perfectionist mindset?

Sources
"Duke TIP." Perfectionism and Gifted Students. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2015.
<http://www.tip.duke.edu/node/613>.
"Gifted Children, Parenting, Creativity Tests, and Underachievement Reversed:
Dr. Sylvia Rimm." Gifted Children, Parenting, Creativity Tests, and Underachievement Reversed:
Dr. Sylvia Rimm. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2015.
Hately, Shaun. "Perfectionism and the Highly Gifted Child." Hoagies' Gifted Education Page. N.p., n.d.
Web. <http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/perfectionhg.htm>.
"National Association for Gifted Children | Supporting the Needs of High Potential
Learners." National Association for Gifted Children | Supporting the Needs of High Potential Learners.
N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2015. <http://www.nagc.org/>.