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Abstract
Marital
fidelity
denotes
unfailing
fulfilment
of
responsibilities and the keeping of vows expressed through
a love of complete devotion. Using the deductive-axiomatic
approach, a theory is formulated stating that Marital
fidelity is an exercise of the couples consent of conjugal
union dictated by ones personal conviction that marriage is
a natural institution founded on natural law. This, however,
is a function of personal and social factors, namely,
commitment and trust, respect and acceptance, meeting
couples needs, and constant appreciation and affirmation.
Hence, a wilful exercise of commitment, respect, familial
love, and sacrifice beget a peaceful, successful married life.
Keyword: marriage, fidelity, natural institution, marital-fidelity
theory
1.0 Introduction
Marital fidelity is an acquired quality that is developed
intentionally. It means a choice of complete commitment, trust, and
respect between husband and wife (Matheson, 2009). More than
that, fidelity denotes unfailing fulfilment of ones responsibilities and
the keeping of ones word or vows (Paulukonis, 2014) expressed
through a love of complete devotion (benson, 2002) by couples.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (1995) reminds that
conjugal love, by its very nature, requires the inviolable fidelity of the
spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which
they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an
arrangement "until further notice." The Catholic Church further
notifies that "intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two
persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the
spouses and require an unbreakable union between them." Pope
Benedict XVI stressed that love is never finished and complete;
throughout life, it changes and matures, and thus remains faithful to
itself (Deus Caritas Est, 17). Fidelity, like love, is no fleeting feeling
but a life-long commitment that Christ abundantly blesses. Moreover,
the Philippine Constitution clearly states that The State recognizes
the sanctity of family life and shall protect and strengthen the family
as a basic autonomous social institution. Accordingly, the Family
Code of the Philippines defines Marriage as a special contract of
permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in
accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life.
This reflects that fidelity in marriage is mandated both by the
dogmatic constitution of the church and the state a reality that
marriage is protected by moral and civil law saying that the contract
of marriage is both a covenant and a sacrament between a man and
a woman, with inherent obligations of fidelity the commitment to
promise keeping and to fairness the commitment to giving from
one spouse to the other their due and to equitably allocate the
marital resources (Govern, n.d.).
Literature enumerates three components of marital fidelity spiritual, emotional, and physical fidelity. Spiritual fidelity requires
both husband and wife to embrace their responsibility of helping
each other and any children they have grow in faith to achieve their
final destiny of eternal life with God. Emotional fidelity gives a sense
of importance, of being someone the other cares for and cares
about. Physical fidelity is the culmination of a lifelong fidelity in
sickness and in health and of intimacy (St. Kilian Marriage
Enrichment Program, 2011).
Fidelity and its rigors can best be described by those whose
lives exemplify faithfulness. The Bible presents Abrahams fidelity to
God despite difficult tests; Ruths loyalty to her mother-in-law
although free to return to her own clan; Hoseas resolute faithfulness
despite his wifes infidelities; Pauls commitment to his mission
despite arduous journeys and imprisonment. By these, one can say
that fidelity is not easy but is possible with the help of God. Above all
the Bible shows that God is faithful no matter how poorly human
beings behave. The Son of God dies so that God can keep a promise.
Married life often presents trials, conflicting choices, a partners
inattention or worse. Faithful love persists. A radical commitment to
fidelity enables spouses to trust one another. Spouses lay down their
lives for their beloved every day.
In her article Marriage and Fidelity, Edwards (2008) argues that
marital fidelity continues to be an overwhelmingly agreed value
worldwide. A Gallup Poll released May 2006 found that only 4% of all
adults believe that adultery is morally acceptable. That means that
96% value fidelity in marriage and believe that the marital fidelity
has a lot to do with honesty and loyalty in marriage, in feeling valued
and loved above all others. A related research released in March
2006 by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of
Chicago also revealed that 22% of men and 13% of women have
ever had sexual relations with a person other than their spouse while
they were married - a fact which reveals that at least 80% of men
and women still value fidelity in marriage.
Matheson (2009) states that fidelity includes refraining from
physical contactbut that is not all. Fidelity also means complete
commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife. Keeping
the desire and intention to satisfy the partners needs socially,
physiologically, emotionally, and psychologically are as equally
important as the other factors that keeps the marital bond intact and
unscathed between couples.
Evident to these studies are the quantitative nature of marital
fidelity and are directed only towards quantifying fidelity experiences
and perspectives among couples. There was, however, a fewer
emphasis on creating a theoretical perspective on how fidelity works
in marriage. This study, therefore, try to address the theoretical
foundation of describing marital fidelity among couples.
2.0 Theory Formulation and the theory
This section exposes various facts and universal truths which
would be the ground of formulating the theory on marital fidelity. The
set of axioms were anchored on previous studies, journals,
authorities, and analyses of articles. The phenomenon on marital
fidelity has been dictated and challenged by culture and time. The
challenge focuses on how couple stays in their vows for their entire
married life. The phenomenon caught the attention of the church and
the state considering that cases of infidelities arises despite the fact
that marriage is protected by moral and civil law. Following the
deductive-axiomatic approach to theory development, axioms are
derived and propositions are formulated which bounded the scope of
this paper.
Axiom 1: Marriage is a sacred institution protected by law.
Marriage is about a life-long journey, a companion who
will witness your life. This life-long journey is guided and
protected by both moral and civil law. The dogma of the church
mandates that the intimate union of marriage, as a mutual
giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand
total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable
union between them. Complement to this is a section on the
Family Code of the Philippines which defines Marriage as a
special contract of permanent union between a man and a
woman entered into in accordance with law.
Hence, Marriage is strengthened by moral and civil laws
(Proposition2).
Axiom 2: Man is capable of being faithful.
A philosophical belief of Jean Jacques Rousseau
exemplifies man naturally is good. This goodness of man is
grounded on the fundamental truth that man is created in the
image and likeness of God. As the catechises said God,
infinitely perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer