Fear Busters:

Adnan Jalali
Conquering Our Fears
Sometimes I wonder and ask myself if the prophets were ever afraid?
Was Moses afraid when he was leading his followers away from
the Pharoahs army and ended up stuck in front of the sea? How about
Abraham, before he was tossed into a giant, blazing fire? What about
Noah ? Was he afraid of what people might think of him when he
was building a ship in the middle of the desert? How about Jesus
when his message was only accepted by a few loyal followers? Or his
mother who found out she was pregnant even though she had never
been with a man? What about Muhammad , when he was facing
physical and verbal abuse from his own people? Or when he and his
followers were kicked out of their own homes and hometown, forced
to start from scratch in a new city?

As human beings with emotions, they must have felt some sense of
fear while facing these incredible obstacles, right? This curiosity
regarding whether the prophets felt fear or not led me to a simple
conclusion: What they felt during these critical times, I may never
find out (until inshallah I can ask them myself in Jannah). However,
what I do know for sure is that THEIR FAITH WAS ALWAYS
STRONGER THAN THEIR FEARS.

You see the prophets understood this very powerful principle despite
their fears. The strength of their faith always outweighed their fears,
thus overcoming the daunting obstacles that life threw their way and
ultimately fulfilling their greater purpose in life.
But how many of us dont follow in their examples? How many of us
allow our fears to get the best of us and hold us back from living out
our greater purpose in life and achieving all the great things that we
have the potential to achieve?

This series of articles is about that dirty 4 letter word that I think all of
us should despise and fight with all of our mental, emotional and
spiritual strength: FEAR.

Here are some of the negative results of living a life in which our
fears are stronger than our faith:

Fear cripples us; it prevents us from seeking to do and become more.

Fear encourages sameness which oftentimes means stagnation and
lack of growth. Fear causes us to not actively seek to live out the best
version of ourselves.

Fear is almost always not real. What I mean by that is

that our fears our self-created and dont actually exist.
Think about it.often times we fear things that wont and
cant cause harm to us. Its all in our heads, but since its
in our minds it becomes our reality.

Fear is a tool that shaytaan uses to limit our ability

to do great things. It is a tool he uses to keep us under
his influence or the influence of things both tangible and
intangible (substances the fear of giving them up;
negative thoughts etc.) rather than be completely free,
which is the state that we enter into when we fear only
God.

Fear is an emotion that highly successful people

overcome. Look back at the example of the prophets that
I mentioned earlier. In my business, I work with highly
successful people day in and day out, and one of their
shared qualities is that they do not let fear influence their
decision making.
 Fear is something that Allah removes from the
hearts of those who have faith and follow it up with
good action. Therefore, if we have true faith in Allahs
words then we trust Him and know that he has removed
fear from our hearts. Allah mentions the word khawf in
that form 26 times in the Quran (based on my limited
research on the topic), more than 20 of those are assuring
the believers that Allah removes fear from us. Heres an
example of one of those verses:

Indeed, those who have believed [in Prophet Muhammad] and those
[before Him] who were Jews or Sabeans or Christians those [among
them] who believed in Allah and the Last Day and did righteousness
no fear will there be concerning them, nor will they grieve. (5:69)

Fear in some cases can keep us from doing the right

thing. Allah mentions an example of this from the story of

Moses in the Quran:

But no one believed Moses, except [some] youths among his people,
for fear of Pharaoh and his establishment that they would persecute
them. And indeed, Pharaoh was haughty within the land, and indeed,
he was of the transgressors. (10.83)

As you can see from this verse, it was ONLY the few young people
that did not have fear in their hearts who made the right choice of
following Moses rather than the Pharoah.

These are just some examples of how fear can negatively impact our
lives.
In this series, I will address 8 of the most common fears that we
human beings have, and offer some simple principles on how to
overcome these fears. The fears that I will discuss in this series are the
following:

Fear of Poverty Fear of Criticism Fear of Poor Health Fear of Loss

of Love Fear of Change Fear of Old Age Fear of Death Fear of
Failure

As a personal and professional coach, I help people overcome their

fears on a daily basis, so I have quite a bit of experience with this
topic. I love seeing people overcome their fears and get the most out
of their lives. If theres one thing that Ive seen time and time again
destroy the dreams and aspirations of people, its their own fears and
doubts.

Im a self-proclaimed FEAR BUSTER! For those of you who are old

enough to remember the movie Ghost Busters, you can go ahead and
start singing the song in your head now, but just exchange the word
Ghost for the word Fear.

Ive tried to always push the limits of my life and overcome my own
personal fears and doubts. I have taken many risks in my life, some
led to great results and others not so much. However, the one thing
that I have consciously done is to make sure that I dont let my fears
stop me from seeking to live out my best life possible and to achieve
the greater purpose for what I was created to do/accomplish.

I ask Allah to bless us with faith that is much stronger than our fears. I
ask Allah to help us overcome our fears and not let them limit us and
what we accomplish in our lives.

Lets do this.
Part 1: Fear of Poverty
A few months ago, I was in the mountains of Colombia while helping
a friend film a documentary movie. On our way to a shoot, we passed
by a very poor, small town in which all of the people were in the
middle of the street celebrating. Curious as to what was going on, we
stepped out of the car and started to ask people what was happening.
There were many kids in the streets and our cameras were like a
magnet for them; pretty soon we were surrounded. We asked the kids
what was going on, why everyone was celebrating.

Ill never forget a beautiful little girl who had these sparkling, big
green eyes look at us and say, Because we got water!

What do you mean we got water? we asked her.

Well, we havent had water in a few weeks, and now the truck finally
came with some water.

Wow! I was stunned, but the real lesson from this experience is
what the little girl said next.

She looked at us and said, We havent had water but were happy.

How can you be happy in that situation? we asked.

Because you just have to be happy, no matter what, she responded.

This little girl had an understanding of the world that many of us in

the United States dont have. She chose to be happy regardless of the
difficult circumstances that surrounded her. Tin roofs, mud floors, no
water and yet this little girls smile was big and brilliant. Her sprit was
incredible!

So many of us are afraid of poverty. Were afraid of losing our jobs,

not being able to pay our bills and not being capable of sustaining our
lifestyles. For many, this fear grips us to the extent that we suffer
through miserable jobs despite living in a country where the
opportunities are boundless, only limited by our own creativity and
initiative. Sometimes this is necessary, however, many people simply
accept their reality as fate and never seek to do something better and
more fulfilling. The primary reason behind this is fear. This fear is so
powerful that it does not allow for the individual in this situation to
even think about looking for something greater. Theyre stuck. What
saddens me when I see people in this situation is that theyre willing
to settle for a life that isnt their best.

This is interesting because if we look in the Quran, Allah mentions

His Name Ar-Razaaq (The Sustainer) only one time. In Surat Adh-
Dhriyt, Allah says:

And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me. I do
not want from them any provision, nor do I want them to feed
Me. Indeed, it is Allah who is Ar-Razzaq, the [continual] Provider, the
firm possessor of strength. [51:56-58]

Whats fascinating about these verses is that Allah mentions He is Ar-

Razzaq right after stating our purpose and our main duty in life.
Essentially, Allah says you do your job (to worship Him) and Ill do
mine (to Sustain). Subhanallah! Allah has already told us that He is
the Provider, therefore we should focus on what we need to do and He
will take care of the rest.
These are the kinds of verses that should give us great comfort and
remove our fears. As I mentioned in the introduction to this series,
Allah mentions the word khawf in the noun form 26 times in the
Quran, and almost all of them refer to the fact that Allah removes fear
from those who believe and do good.

Principle to overcome this Fear: Where

attention goes, energy flows
During the same trip to Colombia that I mentioned earlier, I had the
great pleasure of speaking at a couple of universities. During my
talks, I mentioned to the audience that if youre not financially where
youd like to be and all you do is complain about your difficult
condition, then youre never going to get out of it! The way to change
that condition is to change your thoughts, which leads to a very
powerful principle in life that will help you overcome your fear of
poverty.

Where attention goes, energy flows

What this simply means is that wherever you focus your mental and
physical attention that is where your energy and the energy of the
Universe will flow. If you worry day in and day out then your
situation will never get better, because all of your attention is focused
on the problem. Rather, use that attention to focus on opportunities
and the likelihood of great things to come for you, and you will see
your own energy and the energy of the universe go in that direction.
You will start to think about your opportunities rather than your
limitations. You will start to envision yourself in a strong financial
state and actively seek ways to get there.

I know that there are cynics out there who will read this and think that
all of it is foolish and nonsense hippy, karmic garbage. However,
working with highly successful people day in and day out I have seen
this principle work for all of them. Fulfilling a dream always starts
with a dreamer knowing in their heart that there is a better life for
them out there, and theyre willing to do what it takes to get there.

I will end this article by reminding you of what Allah said in the
Quran:

Indeed, those who have said, Our Lord is Allah , and then remained
on a right course there will be no fear concerning them, nor will
they grieve. [46:13]

There is no need for us to fear poverty. Instead lets focus on

becoming financially successful.

Part 2: Fear of Criticism

Let me describe a scenario to you and you tell me if it sounds familiar
to you or not.

You have a big decision to make in life and in youre certain that in
your heart you know what the right thing to do is. However, the
voices and the opinions of others around you seem to ring louder than
the sound of your own heart. So you make the critical mistake of
listening to others opinions and the recommendation of others, rather
than listen to your own heart.

Sound familiar?

I have seen this situation played out time and time again to the
detriment of the individual who has either: 1) Been listening to others
for so long that they dont even know how to listen to and trust their
own hearts or 2) They have chosen to ignore their hearts and follow
the opinions of others instead.

Why does this happen? Oftentimes, people will point to some obvious
reasons for this phenomenon occurring, however I think the
underlying reason is the fear of criticism or what others will say and
think. As a matter of fact, having been born to a South Asian family,
one of the staples of every argument in every desi household is Dont
do thatwhat will people say (or think) about you if you wear that
outfit? Or if you chose to marry that girl/guy? or if you live in that
neighborhood?

Im just pointing out the South Asian culture because thats my

background but this type of conversation happens all the time in
cultures throughout the world. And Im not here to say that everyone
elses suggestions and opinions are always wrong and ours is always
right. The point is that you need to dig deep and really understand if
whether or not youre listening to them because you really feel that
what theyre suggesting is a better route for you and feels right in
your heart, or youre just doing it because youre succumbing to
pressure out of fear of being criticized for making your own choices
in life. This is the question that you need to look deep inside of
yourself and answer.

Am I living out other peoples lives based on their wishes for me, or
am I living out my own? Always listening to other people out of the
fear of what criticism may arise by not listening to them, is in essence
giving away your God-given freedom to make your own choices in
life.

Not only are you giving away your God-given freedoms but youre
giving them away to a group of people who most probably will never
be satisfied with you no matter what you do! Thats the reality of
people who often criticize you and others. Theyre bitter and unhappy
people who you will not be able to please no matter what you do. So
why in the world would you give away the power to direct and lead
your life based on what your own heart tells you just to please a
people who will never be pleased in the first place?!?!?!
Sounds ridiculous right? The sad reality is that millions upon millions
do this every single day.

Here are 3 deeper sides to this issue:

1. Many of the people who criticize you and you are afraid of their
criticism will be family members who you cant just get rid of.
But thats a topic for another article altogether.

2. By always worrying and fearing what others think, you take

attention away from focusing on pleasing the only One who you
really have to answer toAllah.

3. Successful people are not people who always have to rely on

what others think and suggest for them. Successful people are
confident and self-assured in their actions.

Principle to overcome this Fear: Learn to trust

and listen to the voice of your own heart
This is a very simple, yet powerful principle. The prophet himself
advised a companion to consult his own heart on a particular matter.
We must learn to listen to our own hearts while consulting the Most
High in decisions both big and small. Our gut feeling and instinct is
very powerful and is developed through our life experiences and we
must learn to listen to it and get in the habit of looking inside for
answers rather than outside.

Part 3: Fear of Poor Health

This is probably the one fear in this series that I have a hard time
completely wrapping my head around. Maybe some of you who have
had this fear can share more about it below in the comments.

However, I did once work with a lady (lets call her Jane) who seemed
to always be concerned about the latest health epidemic attacking her
and her family. Back then (this was many years ago) I actually found
it quite amusing. Here we were sitting in Houston, Tx and Jane was
getting all worked up about the bird flu in West Africa making its way
to her neighborhood and household. I just thought she was crazy!

Obviously with age, sensitivity and a greater understanding of the

human being in general, I can now understand her fear. Having known
many people who have had cancer, heart disease and other ailments
that have either led to them being sick for an extended amount of time
or their deaths, I can understand why some people would fear getting
those ailments themselves.

However, again fear is a trickster who always makes a situation seem

much worse than it is, and feels accomplished when you feel helpless.

Principle to Overcome this Fear: Action

always kills fear
This principle is one that can help you address all of your fears, but I
will discuss its implication in addressing the Fear of Poor Health.
Rather than focus on the fear of being unhealthy, instead focus on
taking action to become healthy. Build a lifestyle in which health and
fitness are high priorities for you. The more you eat well and exercise,
the less likely it is that you will contract any of these ailments.

Remember, fear takes power away from you and to overcome it you
need to take the power back into your own hands. By taking action
you will both take the power back and kill the fear in the process.

Part 4: Fear of Loss of Love

To address this fear Im going to share with you something extremely
personal, which I have never truly shared with anyone. The reason I
am choosing to do this is because it is the best example that I know of
overcoming the fear of loss of love.

Many years ago I was married to a wonderful God-conscious woman

who loved me very dearly and whom I loved very dearly. We had our
rough patches during our marriage, mainly because of outside
influences and not being able to manage them properly, but
throughout it all we maintained our love and affection for one another.
It was a kind of love that you see in movies, it is the kind of love that
still lingers in our hearts years after we have gone our separate ways.

Unfortunately, I did not know how to manage the outside forces that
caused negativity in our marriage and we ended up getting a divorce.
Immediately following the divorce, I think we were both devastated
but I forced myself to become very busy and tried not to think about
things too much. She also kept busy and coped with the situation as
well as anyone Ive ever seen cope with a tragic loss of love.

Why Im mentioning all of this is that we have spoken from time to

time throughout the years after our divorce, and what amazes me
about my ex-wife and has been a great lesson for me is the strength of
her faith. I took her love for granted and recognize now that her love
for me was special and unconditional; however it pales in comparison
to her greatest love, which is her love for Allah. This is the reason
why she has always remained happy and, to this day, lives with the
great positive spirit and energy that she has always had.

For many people (women in particular) the fear of losing love is

completely debilitating. This fear is oftentimes based on more of a
sense of comfort and belonging than anything else. When youre
married to the same person for a long time, it becomes like a part of
your being, and to lose that would be to lose a part of your own self, a
part of your own heart. This fear seems quite normal at first, but when
you really dig deep you realize that it is a state of reliance on the other
person that may become so powerful and overwhelming that it
supersedes your reliance on Al-Wakeel (The One Who is Relied Upon
or The Caretaker). Oftentimes, this fear is so strong that people stay
in toxic relationships only because they are debilitated by the fear of
what might happen if they choose to walk away from the relationship.
In cases of abusive relationships this fear becomes even more
profound, because the spirit of the individual being abused has been
damage and oppressed. Their self-belief and internal strength
becomes weakened through the abuse, so this fear becomes even more
pronounced.

Principle to Overcome this Fear: Make

the greatest love of your life the love of
Allah
I cannot overstate how incredibly important this principle is. Like the
example of my ex-wife, when the greatest love that you have in your
heart is the love of Allah, then you can deal with any and all tests that
come your way. When Allah is the One you cry to, the One you pour
your heart out to on a daily basis, then the fear that you have is
removed. I will end this article by reminding you again of what Allah
says in the Quran:

Indeed, those who have said, Our Lord is Allah and then remained
on a right course there will be no fear concerning them, nor will
they grieve. (46:13)

Part 5: Fear of Old Age

On the verge of approaching forty, I have on occasion caught myself
talking to other people and calling myself old. I do this more out of
jest than anything else because, quite frankly, I am much happier now
than I have ever been. With age has come a sense of understanding
and seeing people and the world for what it really is, and this
understanding brings with it a sense of peace, calm and maturity that I
lacked when I was younger.

So why do I refer to myself as old from time to time? I have come to

the conclusion that it is because we live in a very youth loving, and to
a certain extent, a youth worshipping culture. So referencing myself at
almost 40 as old is not so out of the ordinary. However, it is far from
factual. The great achievements of the greatest people throughout
history have come after they reached the age of 40. It is the age that
Allah chose for the prophet to reveal His message. Just examine the
Prophet Muhammads life before 40 and after 40 and you can see
quite clearly that the best can definitely be yet to come for us after 40.

I believe that our fear of old age really stems from a few different
fears: fear of being poor at an old age, fear of loss of physical and/or
mental capabilities, fear of a loss of freedom and independence, and a
fear of poor health.

Principle to Overcome this Fear: Be

thankful for having reached an age of
wisdom and understanding
The person that I know who best exemplifies this quality of
overcoming this fear of old age is my mother. I have seen this
incredible woman become a sort of super hero in her extended ages
mashallah. Not only is she accepting of her age, but it seems to me
that she is getting the most out of her life now more than ever before.
Her days are spent attending classes, whether online or in-person,
taking care of some of her 17 grandchildren, still cooking for her
husband (who rarely eats anything besides his wifes cooking) and
other family members, attending social gatherings and volunteering
for great causes.

This incredible woman amazes me! Rather than succumbing to the

fear of old age that debilitates so many, through gratitude and
activism, she chooses to make these years the best of her life.

Part 6: Fear of Change

Have you ever asked yourself why you do what you do every day?
What Im specifically referring to are your habits. Im willing to bet
that you sleep on the same side of the bed every night. Im willing to
bet that you eat a similar breakfast every morning, drive the same
route to work or school, listen to the same stations on the way there,
start your work day or school day in the same way, eat the same lunch
or at the same restaurants every few days and so on and so forth. Have
you ever asked yourself why you do things the way you do?

Well, if you havent yet, Im about to tell you why; you do them
because youve always done them. Theyre simply actions that have
been repeated over and over again to the extent that they become a
part of your subconscious and you do these things without even
thinking. You see most of our lives are run on autopilot. We simply
dont think about most of the things that we do. Think about when
you drive your car now as compared to the first time you tried to drive
your car. The first time you drove a car, everything was foreign to you
so you had to consciously check all the mirrors, change the seat
position, try to mentally manage your feet on the pedals and choosing
which pedal to push when; where to shift the gears; keep track of your
speed and so many other things. Do you still have to consciously do
these things? Of course not! After some time, it becomes second
nature to you.
In order to understand peoples fear of change, one must first
understand the difference between the subconscious mind and the
conscious mind. The conscious mind is the one we use very seldomly
in comparison to the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is when
we make conscious decisions and are fully aware of our decisions
while were making them. This often occurs when we are faced with a
new or unique situation. Let me give you an example: On the days in
which our daily schedule is disrupted, we have to consciously
redesign our days. For instance, if you have children and one of them
gets sick and has to miss school, you or your spouses day has to be
consciously reworked and re-planned. The conscious mind has to do
that. The subconscious mind is the one created by repeated actions
over time. Its exemplified by the things you do without thinking,
which is most of what we do.

So why am I mentioning all of this?

I am saying this simply to state that people fear change most often not
because of what that specific change will cause in their life, but for
the simple fact that its something uncomfortable; something theyre
not used to. In other words, change forces us to make conscious
decisions that may disrupt our subconscious patterns, which always
leads to a feeling of unease and discomfort.

I want you to really think about this, because it requires thought and
leads to a deeper understanding of human nature itself.

Do you have a bad habit or an addiction that you know you shouldnt
have, but cant seem to get rid of it? Its because you havent
understood or mastered the art of rewiring your subconscious. I will
discuss this in more detail at the end of the article.

The fear of change like all other fears can be completely debilitating,
causing you to get stuck in your ways and not progressing in life.
This fear causes many people to stay in miserable jobs, unhealthy
relationships, keep poor friends despite the fact that we know theyre
not good to be around, stay in a place or city thats not conducive to
growth and progress, or even stick to careers that we neither care
about nor enjoy. We simply do not change, because we are
comfortable with whats familiar and we are afraid of the unknown
that comes with change and risk. The problem with having this fear, I
hope, is quite obvious by now.

For many of us, change is necessary in order to improve our lives.

Some of us need to go through a physical change in order to improve
our health, while others need to undergo a spiritual change in order to
improve our faith. Being comfortable with change is a critical factor
to living out our best lives possible. I dont know a single successful
person who hasnt taken risks and been forced to change themselves
and some of their bad habits in order to achieve their goals.

The fear of change, is always worse than the change itself.

3 Principles to Overcome this Fear:

1. Understand and accept the fact that change is
always occurring, whether youre aware of it or not.

Take a moment to think back on the past 5 years. Have you changed
within the past 5 years? Has your body changed? Do you think
differently now than 5 years ago? How about spiritually? Of course
you have, because we all have and we will all continue to change day
in and day out. Our hair and nails get longer by the day; the climate
and weather changes daily; even the friends and family that we have
around us changes often. Change is generally a constant state in our
lives and in our world, so its best to accept it and adopt its
inevitability.
 2. Until you make what is subconscious conscious, you
will get the same results youve always gotten and
youll call it fate.

You MUST read this principle over and over again to really
understand its incredible implications. This short statement is the key
to understanding how to change any and all of our habits. It all starts
in the mind. As I mentioned earlier, our subconscious mind is the one
that really leads most of what we do on a daily basis, so in order to
change our behavior we must start by rewiring our subconscious
mind. The way to do that is to bring our subconscious to the surface
and make it conscious. Simply put, we have to re-examine what we
do all day every day and make the conscious design to recreate better
habits. For example: lets say you have a goal of becoming healthier
but you have bad eating habits, so in the morning the first thing you
do is grab a quick bowl of sugary goodness in the form of your
favorite brand of cereal and then head out to work or school. Knowing
that your goal is to become healthier and more physically fit, you
have to make the conscious decision of replacing the sugary cereal
with healthy fruits, oatmeal or another alternative. By doing that
simple step, you are in actuality consciously making a decision to
change. If that conscious action is repeated day after day, then that
habit of eating fruit or oatmeal becomes part of your subconscious
and you have just accomplished what so many people fail at, which is
to change a bad habit. This process can only happen when you
analyze your subconscious life, bring it to the conscious level and
redesign it based on what is best for you.

Ive gone into quite a bit of detail in discussing this fear because I feel
that it is one of the fears not discussed often enough and requires
special attention and focus.

3. To get the most out of life, you have to get

comfortable with being uncomfortable, which
 means that you have to get comfortable with
change.

Part 7: Fear of Failure

I want to start off this article by asking you a very important
question:

What would you do differently in your life if you knew you

couldnt fail?

If your answer to that question is many things, then you are

definitely suffering from a fear of failure. Like every other fear
that has been mentioned in this series of articles, this fear is
also a self-created one. It is a fear that has no basis in reality
and should be fought against tooth and nail.

The real failure in life in my opinion is to not get the most out of
it. To never truly become the best version of yourself and live
out your lifes greater purpose is failure on the grandest scale.
To prevent that from happening, we have to take risks and live
with courage. Taking risks and being courageous are two
qualities that destroy the fear of failure.

Let me not get ahead of myself. Lets first take a look at the
concept of failure more closely. Think about the times that
youve failed in your life. Im going to ask you a strange
question but just sit tight because Ill explain what I mean. Now
that you have recalled the times that youve failed I want you
to ask yourself this question which requires a certain level of
depth of thought; were your failures real or perceived?
Meaning, did you truly fail in all sense of the word or is it just
seen as a failure based on your own or societies perception of
a failure. Let me give you an example to help you understand
this point.

As I mentioned in a previous article, I am like many of you

reading this column, divorced. However, when I look back at my
marriage I dont view it as others or even society views it. I
dont see it as a failed marriage. It wasnt a failure at all in my
opinion even though it didnt last forever. There were times of
great joy and great sadness and it was the experience itself
that has taught me a great number of invaluable lessons about
myself and life in general that I would have never learned had I
not gone through that experience. So was it a failure? I dont
think it was at all.

Now lets go back to your failures. After sharing my own

example, do you now understand what I mean when I ask the
question of whether or not your failures were real or
perceived? Now thats not to say that there is no such thing as
failing but it is very much up to the thought process and
discretion of the individual that is placing the judgment.

Now lets go back to the original topic itself, which is the fear of
failure. This fear really holds people back from certain career
changes that they want to make; it holds them back from
starting the company or business that they wanted to launch; it
keeps them back from committing to a marriage out of fear
that it wont work out (this is especially true for divorcees); it
keeps from taking risks in general which as previously stated
are incredibly important in seeking to live out your best life and
becoming your best self. So how do we get over this fear of
failure and learn to take risks and live with courage?

Principle to Overcome this Fear: Understanding and

accepting failure as a critical element for success

Walt Disney once famously said that, Success is going from

one failure to the next with no loss of enthusiasm. What an
absolutely fantastic understanding of what true success really
is. As I have stated in previous articles, as a personal and
professional coach I interact with highly successful people on a
daily basis, and I can tell you wholeheartedly that each and
every one of them have failed one more than one occasion.
That is actually one of the keys to their success; the fact that
they know how to fail and get right back up and keep going. No
failure is permanent and with every failure comes a great
lesson and another step towards success for those who are
reflective and learn from their failures.

Theres no sense in fearing something that will for a surety

happen to you. We will all fail from time to time, but the truly
successful people are the ones that arent afraid to fall and get
back up faster than they fell.

Part 8: Fear of Death

This fear is one that is found more in the aged than the youth,
but does affect some of the youth. The closer a person gets to
death, the more likely they are to think about it. The fear of
death or going through the pangs of death is quite a natural
and normal thing to have, however it is how that fear affects
you and to what level you allow it to influence your life which
determines whether or not the fear is an unhealthy one.

The fear of death is typically caused by a number of factors

including: poor health, poverty, and disappointment in a
persons love life and career. These factors can all lead to a
negative mindset and a negative mindset is the devils
playground in which he can easily build a sense of great fear in
the individual.

Uncertainly is the underlying cause of this fear. What will

happen to me after I die? This is a question that all of us
inevitably ask ourselves at one point or another. The unknown
of what will or wont happen to us is what leads to great anxiety
and fear when it comes to death.

This is one of the many benefits of faith. Faith brings a sense of

surety in regards to what will happen to us after we die,
therefore it helps to remove this fear from our hearts.

Principle to Overcome this Fear: Finding great comfort

in one very special hadith
If you have certain fears in relation to death, then there is one
hadith in particular that should give you great comfort. The
Prophet said that, Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah loves
to meet them (that person).

Think about that for a second. Rather than focus our attention
on the fear of death, it is better to shift that attention to the
love of Al Wadood (The Most Loving). Every time you get a knot
in your stomach or a sweat dripping from your brow when
thinking about your own death, simply train your mind to shift
gears and think about the fact that Allah loves to meet the
people who are longing to meet Him! Subhanallah! How
beautiful is that?

Conclusion

If youve gained nothing else from this series of articles please

keep the following three takeaways in mind:

1. Fear is a result of your dominant thoughts and your

thoughts are something over which you have complete
control. Change the thoughts to more positive and action
oriented ones and you will see your fears slowly disappear.

2. I will end how I began by reminding you that Allah used

the word khawf or fear in the Quran as a noun 26 times
and more than 20 of those times, He uses the word in
reference to the fact that for those who have faith and do
good, Allah removes their fears.

3. Truly the only thing to fear in this world is Allah himself.

And even that fear should be superseded by your love for
Him. If the only thing you fear in this world is Allah and
you know how to overcome all of the other fears, then and
only then will you taste a sense of true freedom and
liberation from the shackles of your own mind and of what
others may say or think about you.
I pray that Allah builds a sense of fearlessness in us like the
fearlessness of the Prophet and his companions.

I ask Allah to accept this series of articles from me and place

them on the scale of my hasanaath on the DOJ.

I ask that Allah forgive me if I have said anything in error in

these articles.

I hope and pray that these articles have been of benefit to you
and many others. The purpose in writing these articles was to
help people overcome their fears, because they lead to
stagnation and limit the potential of our human capacity. Fears
are truly a tool of shaytaan to keep up from fulfilling our great
potential in life. Just imagine for one second a world in which
people lived fearless and with great courage. Thats the kind of
world that I want to live in and help build.