Leonid Andreyev - Lazarus PDF

4/14/2017 Leonid Andreyev - Lazarus
Lazarus
LEONIDANDREYEV
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TheoldeststoryinBloodIsNotEnough,Lazaruswaspublishedintheearly1900s.Itsaboutwhatmight
havehappenedafterJesusChristresurrectedLazarus,threedaysdead,whouptothatpointhadbeenanormal
manofhistimes.Fromthisbiblicalmiracle,Andreyevbegananincrediblestoryofexistentialhorror,whichis
moreintheeyeofthebeholderthaninpoor,undeadLazarus.
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WhenLazarusleftthegrave,whereforthreedaysandthreenightshehadbeenundertheenigmaticalswayof
death,andreturnedalivetohisdwelling,foralongtimenoonenoticedinhimthosesinisterthingswhichmade
hisnameaterrorastimewenton.Gladdenedbythesightofhimwhohadbeenreturnedtolife,thosenearto
himmademuchofhim,andsatisfiedtheirburningdesiretoservehim,insolicitudeforhisfoodanddrinkand
garments.Theydressedhimgorgeously,andwhen,likeabridegroominhisbridalclothes,hesatagainamong
thematthetableandateanddrank,theyweptwithtenderness.Andtheysummonedtheneighborstolookat
himwhohadrisenmiraculouslyfromthedead.Thesecameandsharedthejoyofthehosts.Strangersfromfar
offtownsandhamletscameandadoredthemiracleintempestuouswords.ThehouseofMaryandMarthawas
likeabeehive.
WhateverwasfoundnewinLazarusfaceandgestureswasthoughttobesometraceofagraveillnessandof
theshocksrecentlyexperienced.Evidentlythedestructionwroughtbydeathonthecorpsewasonlyarrestedby
themiraculouspower,butitseffectswerestillapparentandwhatdeathhadsucceededindoingwithLazarus
faceandbodywaslikeanartistsunfinishedsketchseenunderthinglass.OnLazarustemples,underhiseyes,
andinthehollowsofhischeeks,layadeepandcadaverousbluenesscadaverouslybluealsowerehislong
fingers,andaroundhisfingernails,grownlonginthegrave,thebluehadbecomepurpleanddark.Onhislips,
swolleninthegravetheskinhadburstinplaces,andthinreddishcrackswereformed,shiningasthough
coveredwithtransparentmica.Andhehadgrownstout.Hisbody,puffedupinthegrave,retaineditsmonstrous
sizeandshowedthosefrightfulswellingsinwhichonesensedthepresenceoftherankliquidofdecomposition.
ButtheheavycorpselikeodorwhichpenetratedLazarusgraveclothesand,itseemed,hisverybody,soon
entirelydisappeared,thebluespotsofhisfaceandhandsgrewpaler,andthereddishcracksclosedup,although
theyneverdisappearedaltogether.ThatishowLazaruslookedwhenheappearedbeforepeople,inhissecond
life,buthisfacelookednaturaltothosewhohadseenhiminthecoffin.
Inadditiontothechangesinhisappearance,Lazarustemperseemedtohaveundergoneatransformation,but
thishadattractednoattention.BeforehisdeathLazarushadalwaysbeencheerfulandcarefree,fondoflaughter
andamerryjoke.Itwasbecauseofthisbrightnessandcheerfulness,withnotatouchofmaliceanddarkness
thattheMasterhadgrownsofondofhim.ButnowLazarushadgrowngraveandtaciturn,heneverjested,nor
respondedwithlaughtertootherpeoplesjokesandthewordswhichheveryinfrequentlyutteredwerethe
plainest,mostordinaryandnecessarywords,asdeprivedofdepthandsignificanceasthosesoundswithwhich
animalsexpresspainandpleasure,thirstandhunger.Theywerethewordsthatonecansayalloneslife,andyet
theygivenoindicationofwhatpainsandgladdensthedepthofthesoul.
Thus,withthefaceofacorpse,whichforthreedayshadbeenundertheheavyswayofdeath,darkandtaciturn,
alreadyappallinglytransformed,butstillunrecognisedbyanyoneinhisnewself,hewassittingatthefeasttable
amongfriendsandrelatives,andhisgorgeousnuptialgarmentsglitteredwithyellowgoldandbloodyscarlet.
Broadwavesofjubilation,nowsoft,nowtempestuouslysonoroussurgedaroundhimwarmglancesoflove
werereachingoutforhisface,stillcoldwiththecoldnessofthegraveandafriendswarmpalmcaressedhis
blue,heavy,hand.Musicplayedthetympanumandthepipe,thecitharaandtheharp.Itwasasthoughbees
hummed,grasshopperschirped,andbirdswarbledoverthehappyhouseofMaryandMartha.
http://dlx.bookzz.org/foreignction/705000/eaa875b670bec80391ef2ed0832e5220.html/_as/[Andreyev_Leonid]_Lazarus(BookZZ.or 1/11
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Oneoftheguestsincautiouslyliftedtheveil.Byathoughtlesswordhebroketheserenecharmanduncovered
thetruthinallitsnakedugliness.Erethethoughtformeditselfinhismind,hislipsutteredwithasmile:Why
doyounottelluswhathappenedyonder?
Allgrewsilent,startledbythequestion.ItwasasifitoccurredtothemonlynowthatforthreedaysLazarushad
beendead,andtheylookedathim,anxiouslyawaitinghisanswer.ButLazaruskeptsilence.
Youdonotwishtotellus,wonderedthemanisitsoterribleyonder?
Andagainhisthoughtcameafterhiswords.Haditbeenotherwise,hewouldnothaveaskedthisquestion,
whichatthatverymomentoppressedhisheartwithitsinsufferablehorror.Uneasinessseizedallpresent,and
withafeelingofheavywearinesstheyawaitedLazaruswords,buthewassternlyandcoldlysilent,andhiseyes
werelowered,Asifforthefirsttime,theynoticedthefrightfulbluenessofhisfaceandhisrepulsiveobesity.On
thetable,asifforgottenbyLazarus,restedhisbluishpurplewrist,andtothisalleyesturned,asifitwerefrom
itthattheawaitedanswerwastocome.Themusicianswerestillplaying,butnowthesilencereachedthemtoo,
andevenaswaterextinguishesscatteredembers,soweretheirmerrytunesextinguishedinthesilence.Thepipe
grewsilentthevoicesofthesonoroustympanumandthemurmuringharpdiedawayandasifthestringshad
burst,thecitharaansweredwithatremulous,brokennote.Silence.
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Youdonotwishtosay?repeatedtheguest,unabletocheckhischatteringtongue.Butthestillnessremained
unbroken,andthebluishpurplehandrestedmotionless.Andthenhestirredslightlyandeveryonefeltrelieved.
Helifteduphiseyes,andlo!straightwayembracingeverythinginoneheavyglance,fraughtwithwearinessand
horror,helookedatthemLazaruswhohadarisenfromthedead.
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ItwasthethirddaysinceLazarushadleftthegrave.Eversincethenmanyhadexperiencedthepernicious
powerofhiseye,butneitherthosewhowerecrushedbyitforever,northosewhofoundthestrengthtoresistin
ittheprimordialsourcesoflife,whichisasmysteriousasdeath,nevercouldtheyexplainthehorrorwhichlay
motionlessinthedepthofhisblackpupils.Lazaruslookedcalmlyandsimplywithnodesiretoconceal
anything,butalsowithnointentiontosayanythinghelookedcoldly,asonewhoisinfinitelyindifferentto
thosealive.Manycarefreepeoplecameclosetohimwithoutnoticinghim,andonlylaterdidtheylearnwith
astonishmentandfearwhothatcalmstoutmanwasthatwalkedslowlyby,almosttouchingthemwithhis
gorgeousanddazzlinggarments.Thesundidnotceaseshiningwhenhewaslookingnordidthefountainhush
itsmurmur,andtheskyoverheadremainedcloudlessandblue.Butthemanunderthespellofhisenigmatical
lookheardnomorethefountainandsawnottheskyoverhead.Sometimesheweptbitterly,sometimeshetore
hishairandinafrenzycalledforhelpbutmoreoftenitcametopassthatapatheticallyandquietlyhebeganto
die,andsohelanguishedmanyyears,beforeeverybodyseyeswastedaway,colourless,flabby,dull,likeatree
silentlydryingupinastonysoil.Andofthosewhogazedathim,theonewhoweptmadlysometimesfeltagain
thestiroflifetheothersnever.Soyoudonotwishtotelluswhatyouhaveseenyonder?repeatedtheman.
Butnowhisvoicewasimpassiveanddull,anddeadlygraywearinessshowedinLazaruseyes.Anddeadlygray
wearinesscoveredlikedustallthefaces,andwithdullamazementtheguestsstaredateachotheranddidnot
understandwhereforetheyhadgatheredhereandsatattherichtable.Thetalkceased.Theythoughtitwastime
togohome,butcouldnotovercomethewearinesswhichgluedtheirmuscles,andtheykeptonsittingthere,yet
apart,andtornawayfromeachother,likepalefiresscatteredoveradarkfield.
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Butthemusicianswerepaidtoplay,andagaintheytooktheirinstruments,andagaintunesfullofstudiedmirth
andstudiedsorrowbegantoflowandtorise.Theyunfoldedthecustomarymelody,buttheguestsharkenedin
dullamazement.Alreadytheyknewnotwhyitisnecessary,andwhyitiswell,thatpeopleshouldpluckstrings,
inflatetheircheeks,blowinthinpipes,andproduceabizarre,manyvoicednoise.
Whatbadmusic!saidsomeone.
Themusicianstookoffenseandleft.Followingthem,theguestsleftoneafteranother,fornightwasalready
come.Andwhenplaciddarknessencircledthemandtheybegantobreathewithmoreease,suddenlyLazarus
imageloomedupbeforeeachoneinformidableradiancethebluefaceofacorpse,graveclothesgorgeousand
resplendent,acoldlookinthedepthsofwhichlaymotionlessanunknownhorror.Asthoughpetrified,they
werestandingfarapart,anddarknessenvelopedthem,butinthedarknessblazedbrighterandbrighterthe
supernaturalvisionofhimwhoforthreedayshadbeenundertheenigmaticalswayofdeath.Forthreedayshad
hebeendead:Thricehadthesunrisenandset,buthehadbeendead.Andnowheisagainamongthem,touches
them,looksatthem,andthroughtheblackdisksofhispupils,asthroughdarkenedglass,starestheunknowable
Yonder.
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NoonewastakingcareofLazarus,fornofriends,norelativeswerelefttohim,andthegreatdesert,which
encircledtheholycity,cameneartheverythresholdofhisdwelling.Andthedesertenteredhishouse,and
stretchedonhiscouch,likeawife,andextinguishedthefires.NoonewastakingcareofLazarus.Oneafterthe
other,hissistersMaryandMarthaforsookhim.ForalongwhileMarthawasloathtoabandonhim,forshe
knewnotwhowouldfeedhimandpityhim.Sheweptandprayed.Butonenight,whenthewindwasroamingin
thedesertandwithahissingsoundthecypresseswerebendingovertheroof,shedressednoiselessly,and
secretlyleftthehouse.Lazarusprobablyheardthedoorslamitbangedagainstthesidepostunderthegustsof
thedesertwind,buthedidnotrisetogooutandlookatherthatwasabandoninghim.Allthenightlongthe
cypresseshissedoverhisheadandplaintivelythumpedthedoor,lettinginthecold,greedydesert.
Likealeperhewasshunnedbyeveryone,anditwasproposedtotieabelltohisneck,asisdonewithlepers,to
warnpeopleagainstsuddenmeetings.Butsomeoneremarked,growingfrightfullypale,thatitwouldbetoo
horribleifbynightthemoaningofLazarusbellweresuddenlyheardunderthepillows,andsotheprojectwas
abandoned.
Andsincehedidnottakecareofhimself,hewouldprobablyhavestarvedtodeath,hadnottheneighbors
broughthimfoodinfearofsomethingthattheysensedbutvaguely.Thefoodwasbroughttohimbychildren
theywerenotafraidofLazarus,nordidtheymockhimwithnaivecruelty,aschildrenarewonttodowiththe
wretchedandmiserable.Theywereindifferenttohim,andLazarusansweredthemwiththesamecoldnesshe
hadnodesiretocaresstheblacklittlecurls,andtolookintotheirinnocentshiningeyes.GiventoTimeandto
thedesert,hishousewascrumblingdown,andlongsincehadhisfamishinggoatswanderedawaytothe
neighbouringpastures.Hisbridalgarmentsbecamethreadbare.Eversincethathappydaywhenthemusicians
played,hehadwornthemunawareofthedifferenceofthenewandtheworn.Thebrightcolorsgrewdulland
fadedviciousdogsandthesharpthornsofthedesertturnedthetenderfabricintorags.
Byday,whenthemercilesssunslewallthingsalive,andevenscorpionssoughtshelterunderstonesandwrithed
thereinamaddesiretosting,hesatmotionlessunderthesunsrays,hisbluefaceandtheuncouth,bushybeard
liftedup,bathinginthefieryflood.
Whenpeoplestilltalkedtohim,hewasonceasked,PoorLazarus,doesitpleaseyoutositthusandtostareat
thesun?
Andhehadanswered:Yes,itdoes.
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Sostrong,itseemed,wasthecoldofhisthreedaysgrave,sodeepthedarkness,thattherewasnoheatonearth
towarmLazarus,norasplendourthatcouldbrightenthedarknessofhiseyes.Thatiswhatcametothemindof
thosewhospoketoLazarus,andwithasightheylefthim.
Andwhenthescarlet,flattenedglobewouldlower,Lazaruswouldsetoutforthedesertandwalkstraighttoward
thesun,asifstrivingtoreachit.Healwayswalkedstraighttowardthesun,andthosewhotriedtofollowhim
andtospyuponwhathewasdoingatnightinthedesert,retainedintheirmemorytheblacksilhouetteofatall
stoutmanagainsttheredbackgroundofanenormousflatteneddisk.Nightpursuedthemwithherhorrors,and
sotheydidnotlearnofLazarusdoingsinthedesert,butthevisionoftheblackonredwasforeverbrandedon
theirbrains.Justasabeastwithasplinterinitseyefuriouslyrubsitsmuzzlewithitspaws,sotheytoofoolishly
rubbedtheireyes,butwhatLazarushadgivenwasindelible,andDeathalonecouldeffaceit.
Buttherewerepeoplewholivedfaraway,whoneversawLazarusandknewofhimonlybyreport.Withdaring
curiosity,whichisstrongerthanfearandfeedsuponit,withhiddenmockery,theywouldcometoLazaruswho
wassittinginthesunandenterintoconversationwithhim.BythistimeLazarusappearancehadchangedfor
thebetterandwasnotsoterrible.Thefirstminutetheysnappedtheirfingersandthoughtofhowstupidthe
inhabitantsoftheholycitywerebutwhentheshorttalkwasoverandtheystartedhomeward,theirlookswere
suchthattheinhabitantsoftheholycityrecognizedthematonceandsaid:Look,thereisonemorefoolon
whomLazarushassethiseyeandtheyshooktheirheadsregretfully,andlifteduptheirarms.
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Therecamebrave,intrepidwarriors,withtinklingweaponshappyyouthscamewithlaughterandsongbusy
tradesmen,jinglingtheirmoney,raninforamoment,andhaughtypriestsleanedtheircrosiersagainstLazarus
door,andtheywereallstrangelychanged,astheycameback.Thesameterribleshadowswoopeddownupon
theirsoulsandgaveanewappearancetotheoldfamiliarworld.
Thosewhostillhadthedesiretospeak,expressedtheirfeelingsthus:
Allthingstangibleandvisiblegrewhollow,lightandtransparent,similartolightsomeshadowsinthedarkness
ofnight
Forthatgreatdarkness,whichholdsthewholecosmos,wasdispersedneitherbythesunnorbythemoonand
thestars,butlikeanimmenseblackshroudenvelopedtheearthandlikeamotherembracedit
Itpenetratedallthebodies,ironandstone,andtheparticlesofthebodies,havinglosttheirties,grewlonely
anditpenetratedintothedepthoftheparticles,andtheparticlesofparticlesbecamelonely
Forthatgreatvoid,whichencirclesthecosmos,wasnotfilledbythingsvisible,neitherbythesun,norbythe
moonandthestars,butreignedunrestrained,penetratingeverywhere,severingbodyfrombody,particlefrom
particle
Inthevoid,hollowtreesspreadhollowrootsthreateningafantasticfalltemples,palaces,andhousesloomed
upandtheywerehollowandinthevoidmenmovedaboutrestlessly,buttheywerelightandhollowlike
shadows
Fortimewasnomore,andthebeginningofallthingscameneartheirend:thebuildingwasstillbeingbuilt,
andbuilderswerestillhammeringaway,anditsruinswerealreadyseenandthevoidinitsplacethemanwas
stillbeingborn,butalreadyfuneralcandleswereburningathishead,andnowtheywereextinguished,andthere
wasthevoidinplaceofthemanandofthefuneralcandles
Andwrappedbyvoidanddarknessthemanindespairtrembledinthefaceofthehorroroftheinfinite.
Thusspakethemenwhohadstilladesiretospeak.But,surely,muchmorecouldthosehavetoldwhowished
nottospeak,anddiedinsilence.
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AtthattimetherelivedinRomearenownedsculptor.Inclay,marble,andbronzehewroughtbodiesofgodsand
men,andsuchwastheirbeautythatpeoplecalledthemimmortal.Buthehimselfwasdiscontentedandasserted
thattherewassomethingevenmorebeautiful,thathecouldnotembodyeitherinmarbleorinbronze.Ihave
notyetgatheredtheglimmersofthemoon,norhaveImyfillofsunshine,hewaswonttosay,andthereisno
soulinmymarble,nolifeinmybeautifulbronze.Andwhenonmoonlightnightsheslowlywalkedalongthe
road,crossingtheblackshadowsofcypresses,hiswhitetunicglitteringinthemoonshine,thosewhomethim
wouldlaughinafriendlywayandsay:
Areyougoingtogathermoonshine,Aurelius?Whythendidyounotfetchbaskets?
Andhewouldanswer,laughingandpointingtohiseyes:
HerearethebasketswhereinIgatherthesheenofthemoonandtheglimmerofthesun.
Andsoitwas:Themoonglimmeredinhiseyesandthesunsparkledtherein.Buthecouldnottranslatethem
intomarble,andthereinlaytheserenetragedyofhislife.
Hewasdescendedfromancientpatricianrace,hadagoodwifeandchildren,andsufferedfromnowant.
WhentheobscurerumoraboutLazarusreachedhim,heconsultedhiswifeandfriendsandundertookthefar
journeytoJudeatoseehimwhohadmiraculouslyrisenfromthedead.Hewassomewhatwearyinthosedays
andhehopedthattheroadwouldsharpenhisbluntedsenses.WhatwassaidofLazarusdidnotfrightenhim:He
hadponderedmuchoverDeath,didnotlikeit,buthedislikedalsothosewhoconfuseditwithlife.Inthislife
arelifeandbeauty,thoughthebeyondisDeath,andenigmaticalandthereisnobetterthingforamantodo
thantodelightinlifeandinthebeautyofallthingsliving.Hehadevenavaingloriousdesiretoconvince
Lazarusofthetruthofhisownviewandrestorehissoultolife,ashisbodyhadbeenrestored.Thisseemedso
mucheasierbecausetherumors,shyandstrange,didnotrenderthewholetruthaboutLazarusandbutvaguely
warnedagainstsomethingfrightful.
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Lazarushadjustrisenfromthestoneinordertofollowthesunwhichwassettinginthedesert,whenarich
Roman,attendedbyanarmedslave,approachedhimandaddressedhiminasonorousvoice:Lazarus!
AndLazarusbeheldasuperbface,litwithglory,andarrayedinfineclothes,andpreciousstonessparklinginthe
sun.TheredlightlenttotheRomansfaceandheadtheappearanceofgleamingbronze:ThatalsoLazarus
noticed.Heresumedobedientlyhisplaceandloweredhiswearyeyes.
Yes,youareugly,mypoorLazarus,quietlysaidtheRoman,playingwithhisgoldenchainyouareeven
horrible,mypoorfriendandDeathwasnotlazythatdaywhenyoufellsoheedlesslyintohishands.Butyou
arestout,and,asthegreatCaesarusedtosay,fatpeoplearenotilltemperedtotellthetruth,Idontunderstand
whymenfearyou.Permitmetospendthenightinyourhousethehourislate,andIhavenoshelter.
NeverhadanyoneaskedLazarushospitality.
Ihavenobed,saidhe.
IamsomewhatofasoldierandIcansleepsitting,theRomananswered.Weshallbuildafire.
Ihavenofire.
Thenweshallhaveourtalkinthedarkness,liketwofriends.Ithinkyouwillfindabottleofwine.
Ihavenowine.
TheRomanlaughed.
NowIseewhyyouaresosomberanddislikeyoursecondlife.Nowine!Why,thenweshalldowithoutit
therearewordsthatmaketheheadgoroundbetterthantheFalernian.
Byasignhedismissedtheslave,andtheyremainedalone.Andagainthesculptorstartedspeaking,butitwasas
if,togetherwiththesettingsun,lifehadlefthiswordsandtheygrewpaleandhollow,asiftheystaggeredon
unsteadyfeet,asiftheyslippedandfelldown,drunkwiththeheavyleesofwearinessanddespair.Andblack
chasmsgrewupbetweentheworlds,likefaroffhintsofthegreatvoidandthegreatdarkness.
NowIamyourguest,andyouwillnotbeunkindtome,Lazarus!saidhe.Hospitalityisthedutyevenof
thosewhoforthreedaysweredead.Threedays,Iwastold,yourestedinthegrave.Thereitmustbecoldand
thencecomesyourillhabitofgoingwithoutfireandwine.Astome,Ilikefireitgrowsdarkheresorapidly
Thelinesofyoureyebrowsandforeheadarequite,quiteinteresting:Theyarelikeruinsofstrangepalaces,
buriedinashes,afteranearthquake.Butwhydoyouwearsuchuglyandqueergarments?Ihaveseen
bridegroomsinyourcountry,andtheywearsuchclothesaretheynotfunny?andterrible?Butareyoua
bridegroom?
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Thesunhadalreadydisappeared,amonstrousblackshadowcamerunningfromtheeast,itwasasifgigantic
barefeetbeganrumblingonthesand,andthewindsentacoldwavealongthebackbone.
Inthedarknessyouseemstilllarger,Lazarus,asifyouhavegrownstouterinthesemoments.Doyoufeedon
darkness,Lazarus?Iwouldfainhavealittlefireatleastalittlefire.Ifeelsomewhatchilly,yournightsareso
barbarouslycold.Wereitnotsodark,Ishouldsaythatyouwerelookingatme,Lazarus.Yes,itseemstomeyou
arelookingWhy,youarelookingatme,Ifeelitbutthereyouaresmiling.
Nightcame,andfilledtheairwithheavyblackness.
Howwellitwillbe,whenthesunwillrisetomorrow,anewIamagreatsculptor,youknowthatishowmy
friendscallme.Icreate.Yes,thatisthewordbutIneeddaylight.Igivelifetothecoldmarble,Imelt
sonorousbronzeinfire,inbrighthotfireWhydidyoutouchmewithyourhand?
Come,saidLazarus.Youaremyguest.
Theywenttothehouse.Andalongnightenvelopedtheearth.
Theslave,seeingthathismasterdidnotcome,wenttoseekhim,whenthesunwasalreadyhighinthesky.And
hebeheldhismastersidebysidewithLazarus:Inprofoundsilencetheyweresittingrightunderthedazzling
andscorchingraysofthesunandlookingupward.Theslavebegantoweepandcriedout:Mymaster,whathas
befallenyou,master?
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TheverysamedaythesculptorleftforRome.OnthewayAureliuswaspensiveandtaciturn,staringattentively
ateverythingthemen,theship,thesea,asiftryingtoretainsomething.Onthehighseaastormburstupon
them,andallthroughitAureliusstayedonthedeckandeagerlyscannedtheseasloomingnearandsinkingwith
adullboom.
AthomehisfriendswerefrightenedatthechangewhichhadtakenplaceinAurelius,buthecalmedthem,
sayingmeaningly:Ihavefoundit.
Andwithoutchangingthedustyclothesheworeonhisjourney,hefelltowork,andthemarbleobediently
resoundedunderhissonoroushammer.Longandeagerlyheworked,admittingnoone,untilonemorninghe
announcedthattheworkwasreadyandorderedhisfriendstobesummoned,severecriticsandconnoisseursof
art.Andtomeetthemheputonbrightandgorgeousgarments,thatglitteredwithyellowgoldandscarlet
byssus.
Hereismywork,saidhethoughtfully.
Hisfriendsglanced,andashadowofprofoundsorrowcoveredtheirfaces.Itwassomethingmonstrous,
deprivedofallthelinesandshapesfamiliartotheeye,butnotwithoutahintatsomenew,strangeimage.
Onathin,crookedtwig,orratheronanuglylikenessofatwig,restedaskewablind,ugly,shapeless,outspread
massofsomethingutterlyandinconceivablydistorted,amadheapofwildandbizarrefragments,allfeeblyand
vainlystrivingtopartfromoneanother.And,asifbychance,beneathoneofthewildlyrentsalientsabutterfly
waschiseledwithdivineskill,allairyloveliness,delicacy,andbeautywithtransparentwings,whichseemedto
tremblewithanimpotentdesiretotakeflight.
Whereforethiswonderfulbutterfly,Aurelius?saidsomebodyfalteringly.
Butitwasnecessarytotellthetruth,andoneofhisfriendswholovedhimbestsaidfirmly:Thisisugly,my
poorfriend.Itmustbedestroyed.Givemethehammer.
Andwithtwostrokeshebrokethemonstrousmassintopieces,leavingonlytheinfinitelydelicatebutterfly
untouched.
FromthattimeonAureliuscreatednothing.Withprofoundindifferencehelookedatmarbleandbronze,andon
hisformerdivineworks,whereeverlastingbeautyrested.Withthepurposeofarousinghisformerfervent
passionforworkandawakeninghisdeadenedsoul,hisfriendstookhimtoseeotherartistsbeautifulworks,but
heremainedindifferentasbefore,andthesmiledidnotwarmuphistightenedlips.Andonlyafterlisteningto
lengthytalksaboutbeauty,hewouldretortwearilyandindolently:Butallthisisalie.
Byday,whenthesunwasshining,hewentintohismagnificent,skillfullybuiltgarden,andhavingfoundaplace
withoutashadow,heexposedhisbareheadtotheglareandheat.Redandwhitebutterfliesflutteredaround
fromthecrookedlipsofadrunkensatyr,waterstreameddownwithasplashintoamarblecistern,buthesat
motionlessandsilent,likeapallidreflectionofhimwho,inthefaroffdistance,attheverygatesofthestony
desert,satunderthefierysun.
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Andnowitcametopassthatthegreat,deifiedAugustushimselfsummonedLazarus.Theimperialmessengers
dressedhimgorgeously,insolemnnuptialclothes,asifTimehadlegalizedthem,andhewastoremainuntilhis
verydeaththebridegroomofanunknownbride.Itwasasifanold,rottingcoffinhadbeengildedandfurnished
withnew,gaytassels.Andmen,allintrimandbrightattire,rodeafterhim,asifinbridalprocessionindeed,and
thoseforemosttrumpetedloudly,biddingpeopletoclearthewayfortheemperorsmessengers.ButLazarus
waywasdeserted:Hisnativelandcursedthehatefulnameofhimwhohadmiraculouslyrisenfromthedead,
andpeoplescatteredattheverynewsofhisappallingapproach.Thesolitaryvoiceofthebrasstrumpets
soundedinthemotionlessair,andthewildernessalonerespondedwithitslanguidecho.
ThenLazaruswentbysea.Andhiswasthemostmagnificentlyarrayedandthemostmournfulshipthatever
mirroreditselfintheazurewavesoftheMediterraneanSea.Manywerethetravelersaboard,butlikeatomb
wastheship,allsilenceandstillness,andthedespairingwatersobbedatthesteep,proudlycurvedprow.All
alonesatLazarusexposinghisheadtotheblazeofthesun,silentlylisteningtothemurmurandsplashofthe
wavelets,andafarseamenandmessengersweresitting,avaguegroupofwearyshadows.Hadthethunderburst
andthewindattackedtheredsails,theshipswouldprobablyhaveperished,fornoneofthoseaboardhadeither
thewillorthestrengthtostruggleforlife.Withasupremeeffortsomemarinerswouldreachtheboardand
eagerlyscantheblue,transparentdeep,hopingtoseeanaiadspinkshoulderflashinthehollowofanazure
wave,oradrunkengaycentaurdashalongandinfrenzysplashthewavewithhishoof.Buttheseawaslikea
wilderness,andthedeepwasdumbanddeserted.
WithutterindifferenceLazarussethisfeetonthestreetoftheeternalcity,asifallherwealth,allthe
magnificenceofherpalacesbuiltbygiants,alltheresplendence,beauty,andmusicofherrefinedlifewerebut
theechoofthewindinthedesertquicksand.Chariotsweredashing,andalongthestreetsweremovingcrowds
ofstrong,fair,proudbuildersoftheeternalcityandhaughtyparticipantsinherlifeasongsoundedfountains
andwomenlaughedapearlylaughterdrunkenphilosophersharangued,andthesoberlistenedtothemwitha
smilehoofsstruckthestonepavements.Andsurroundedbycheerfulnoise,astout,heavymanwasmoving,a
coldspotofsilenceanddespair,andonhiswayhesoweddisgust,anger,andvague,gnawingweariness.Who
darestobesadinRome?thecitizenswonderedindignantly,andfrowned.Intwodaystheentirecityalready
knewallabouthimwhohadmiraculouslyrisenfromthedead,andshunnedhimshyly.
Butsomedaringpeopletherewere,whowantedtotesttheirstrength,andLazarusobeyedtheirimprudent
summons.Keptbusybystateaffairs,theemperorconstantlydelayedthereception,andsevendaysdidhewho
hadrisenfromthedeadgoaboutvisitingothers.
AndLazaruscametoacheerfulEpicurean,andthehostmethimwithlaughter:Drink,Lazarus,drink!he
shouted.WouldnotAugustuslaughtoseeyoudrunk?
Andhalfnakeddrunkenwomenlaughed,androsepetalsfellonLazarusbluehands.ButthentheEpicurean
lookedintoLazaruseyesandhisgaietyendedforever.Drunkardremainedhefortherestofhislifeneverdid
hedrink,yetforeverwashedrunk.Butinsteadofthegayreverywhichwinebringswithit,frightfuldreams
begantohaunthim,thesolefoodofhisstrickenspirit.Dayandnighthelivedthepoisonousvaporsofhis
nightmares,andDeathitselfwasnotmorefrightfulthanitsraving,monstrousforerunners.
==========
AndLazaruscametoayouthandhisbeloved,wholovedeachotherandweremostbeautifulintheirpassions.
Proudlyandstronglyembracinghislove,theyouthsaidwithsereneregret:LookatusLazarus,andshareour
joy.Isthereanythingstrongerthanlove?
AndLazaruslooked.Andfortherestoftheirlifetheykeptlovingeachother,buttheirpassiongrewgloomyand
joyless,likethosefuneralcypresseswhoserootsfeedonthedecayofthegravesandwhoseblacksummitsina
stilleveninghourseekinvaintoreachthesky.Thrownbytheunknownforcesoflifeintoeachothers
embraces,theymingledtearswithkisses,voluptuouspleasureswithpain,andtheyfeltthemselvesdoubly
slaves,obedientslavestolife,andpatientservantsofthesilentNothingness.Everunited,eversevered,they
blazedlikesparksandlikesparkslostthemselvesintheboundlessDark.
AndLazaruscametoahaughtysage,andthesagesaidtohim:Iknowallthehorrorsyoucanrevealtome.Is
thereanythingyoucanfrightenmewith?
Butbeforelongthesagefeltthattheknowledgeofhorrorwasfarfrombeingthehorroritself,andthatthe
visionofDeathwasnotDeath.AndhefeltthatwisdomandfollyareequalbeforethefaceofInfinity,for
Infinityknowsthemnot.Anditvanished,thedividinglinebetweenknowledgeandignorance,truthand
falsehood,topandbottom,andtheshapelessthoughthungsuspendedinthevoid.Thenthesageclutchedhis
grayheadandcriedoutfrantically:Icannotthink!Icannotthink!
Thusundertheindifferentglanceforhim,whomiraculouslyhadrisenfromthedead,perishedeverythingthat
assertslife,itssignificanceandjoys.Anditwassuggestedthatitwasdangeroustolethimseetheemperor,that
itwasbettertokillhim,andhavingburiedhimsecretly,totelltheemperorthathehaddisappearednooneknew
whither.Alreadyswordswerebeingwhettedandyouthsdevotedtothepublicwelfarepreparedforthemurder,
whenAugustusorderedLazarustobebroughtbeforehimnextmorning,thusdestroyingthecruelplans.
IftherewasnowayofgettingridofLazarus,atleastitwaspossibletosoftentheterribleimpressionhisface
produced.Withthisinview,skillfulpainters,barbers,andartistsweresummoned,andallnightlongtheywere
busyoverLazarushead.Theycroppedhisbeard,curledit,andgaveitatidy,agreeableappearance.Bymeans
ofpaintstheyconcealedthecorpselikebluenessofhishandsandface.Repulsivewerethewrinklesofsuffering
thatfurrowedhisoldface,andtheywereputtied,painted,andsmoothedthen,overthesmoothbackground,
wrinklesofgoodtemperedlaughterandpleasantcarefreemirthwereskillfullypaintedwithfinebrushes.
Lazarussubmittedindifferentlytoeverythingthatwasdonetohim.Soonhewasturnedintoabecominglystout,
venerableoldman,intoaquietandkindgrandfatherofnumerousoffspring.Itseemedthatthesmile,withwhich
onlyawhileagohewasspinningfunnyyarns,wasstilllingeringonhislipsandthatinthecornerofhiseye
serenetendernesswashiding,thecompanionofoldage.Butpeopledidnotdarechangehisnuptialgarments,
andtheycouldnotchangehiseyes,twodarkandfrightfulglassesthroughwhichtheunknowableYonderlooked
atmen.
==========
Lazaruswasnotmovedbythemagnificenceoftheimperialpalace.Itwasasifhesawnodifferencebetween
thecrumblinghouse,closelypressedbythedesert,andthestonepalace,solidandfair,andindifferentlyhe
passedintoit.Thehardmarbleofthefloorsunderhisfeetgrewsimilartothequicksandofthedesert,andthe
multitudeofrichlydressedandhaughtymenbecamelikevoidairunderhisglance.Noonelookedintohisface,
asLazaruspassedby,fearingtofallundertheappallinginfluenceofhiseyesbutwhenthesoundofhisheavy
footstepshadsufficientlydieddown,thecourtiersraisedtheirheadsandwithfearfulcuriosityexaminedthe
figureofastout,tall,slightlybentoldman,whowasslowlypenetratingintotheveryheartoftheimperial
palace.WereDeathitselfpassing,itwouldbefacedwithnogreaterfear:Foruntilthenthedeadaloneknew
Death,andthosealiveknewLifeonlyandtherewasnobridgebetweenthem.Butthisextraordinaryman,
althoughalive,knewDeath,andenigmatical,appalling,washiscursedknowledge.Woe!peoplethoughthe
willtakethelifeofourgreat,deifiedAugustusandthensentcursesafterLazarus,whomeanwhilekepton
advancingintotheinteriorofthepalace.
AlreadydidtheemperorknowwhoLazaruswas,andpreparedtomeethim.Butthemonarchwasabraveman,
andfelthisowntremendous,unconquerablepower,andinhisfatalduelwithhimwhohadmiraculouslyrisen
fromthedeadhewantednottoinvokehumanhelp.AndsohemetLazarusfacetoface.
Liftnotyoureyesuponme,Lazarus,heordered.IheardyourfaceislikethatofMedusaandturnsintostone
whomsoeveryoulookat.Now,Iwishtoseeyouandtalkwithyou,beforeIturnintostone,headdedinatone
ofkinglyjesting,notdevoidoffear.
Comingclosetohim,hecarefullyexaminedLazarusfaceandhisstrangefestalgarments.Andalthoughhehad
akeeneye,hewasdeceivedbyhisappearance.
So.Youdonotappearterrible,myvenerableoldman.Buttheworseforus,ifhorrorassumessucha
respectableandpleasantair.Nowletushaveatalk.
Augustussat,andquestioningLazaruswithhiseyeasmuchaswithwords,startedtheconversation:Whydid
younotgreetmeasyouentered?
Lazarusansweredindifferently:Iknewnotitwasnecessary.
AreyouaChristian?
No.
Augustusapprovinglyshookhishead.
Thatisgood.IdonotlikeChristians.Theyshakethetreeoflifebeforeitiscoveredwithfruit,anddisperseits
odorousbloomtothewinds.Butwhoareyou?
WithavisibleeffortLazarusanswered:Iwasdead.
Ihadheardthat.Butwhoareyounow?
==========
Lazaruswassilent,butatlastrepeatedinatoneofwearyapathy:Iwasdead.
Listentome,stranger,saidtheemperor,distinctlyandseverelygivingutterancetothethoughtthathadcome
tohimatthebeginning,myrealmistherealmofLife,mypeopleareoftheliving,notofthedead.Youare
hereonetoomany.Iknownotwhoyouareandwhatyousawtherebut,ifyoulie,Ihatelies,andifyoutellthe
truth,Ihateyourtruth.InmybosomIfeelthethroboflifeIfeelstrengthinmyarm,andmyproudthoughts,
likeeagles,piercethespace.Andyonderintheshelterofmyrule,undertheprotectionoflawscreatedbyme,
peopleliveandtoilandrejoice.Doyouhearthebattlecry,thechallengementhrowintothefaceofthefuture?
Augustus,asifinprayer,stretchedforthhisarmsandexclaimedsolemnly:Beblessed,Ogreatanddivine
Life!
Lazaruswassilent,andwithgrowingsternnesstheemperorwenton:Youarenotwantedhere,miserable
remnant,snatchedfromunderDeathsteeth,youinspirewearinessanddisgustwithlifelikeacaterpillarinthe
fields,yougloatontherichearofjoyandbelchoutthedrivelofdespairandsorrow.Yourtruthislikearusty
swordinthehandsofanightlymurderer,andasamurdereryoushallbeexecuted.Butbeforethat,letmelook
intoyoureyes.Perchanceonlycowardsareafraidofthem,butinthebravetheyawakethethirstforstrifeand
victorythenyoushallberewarded,notexecutedNow,lookatme,Lazarus.
AtfirstitappearedtothedeifiedAugustusthatafriendwaslookingathim,sosoft,sotenderlyfascinatingwas
Lazarussglance.Itpromisednothorror,butsweetrest,andtheInfiniteseemedtohimatendermistress,a
compassionatesister,amother.Butstrongerandstrongergrewitsembraces,andalreadythemouth,greedyof
hissingkisses,interferedwiththemonarchsbreathing,andalreadytothesurfaceofthesofttissuesofthebody
cametheironofthebonesandtighteneditsmercilesscircle,andunknownfangs,blunt,andcold,touchedhis
heartandsankintoitwithslowindolence.
Itpains,saidthedeifiedAugustus,growingpale.Butlookatme,Lazarus,look.
Itwasasifsomeheavygates,everclosed,wereslowlymovingapart,andthroughthegrowingintersticethe
appallinghorroroftheInfinitepouredinslowlyandsteadily.Liketwoshadowsenteredtheshorelessvoidand
theunfathomabledarknesstheyextinguishedthesun,ravishedtheearthfromunderthefeet,andtheroofover
thehead.Nomoredidthefrozenheartache.
==========
Timestoodstillandthebeginningofeachthinggrewfrightfullyneartoitsend.Augustusthrone,justerected,
crumbleddown,andthevoidwasalreadyintheplaceofthethroneandofAugustus.NoiselesslydidRome
crumbledown,andanewcitystoodonitssiteandittoowasswallowedbythevoid.Likefantasticgiants,cities,
states,andcountriesfelldownandvanishedinthevoiddarkness,andwithuttermostindifferencedidthe
insatiableblackwomboftheInfiniteswallowthem.
Halt!orderedtheemperor.
Inhisvoicesoundedalreadyanoteofindifference,hishandsdroppedinlanguor,andinthevainstrugglewith
theonrushingdarknesshisfieryeyesnowblazedup,andnowwentout.
Mylifeyouhavetakenfromme,Lazarus,saidheinaspiritless,feeblevoice.
Andthesewordsofhopelessnesssavedhim.Herememberedhispeople,whoseshieldhewasdestinedtobe,
andkeensalutarypainpiercedhisdeadenedheart.Theyaredoomedtodeath,hethoughtwearily.Serene
shadowsinthedarknessoftheInfinite,thoughthe,andhorrorgrewuponhim.Frailvesselswithliving,
http://dlx.bookzz.org/foreignction/705000/eaa875b670bec80391ef2ed0832e5220.html/_as/[Andreyev_Leonid]_Lazarus(BookZZ. 10/11
seethingblood,withaheartthatknowssorrowandalsogreatjoy,saidheinhisheart,andtendernesspervaded
it.
ThusponderingandoscillatingbetweenthepolesofLifeandDeath,heslowlycamebacktolife,tofindinits
sufferingandinitsjoysashieldagainstthedarknessofthevoidandthehorroroftheInfinite.
No,youhavenotmurderedme,Lazarus,saidhefirmly,butIwilltakeyourlife.Begone.
ThateveningthedeifiedAugustuspartookofhismeatsanddrinkswithparticularjoy.Nowandthenhislifted
handremainedsuspendedintheair,andadullglimmerreplacedthebrightsheenofhisfieryeye.Itwasthecold
waveofHorrorthatsurgedathisfeet.Defeated,butnotundone,everawaitingitshour,thatHorrorstoodatthe
emperorsbedside,likeablackshadowallthroughhislife,itswayedhisnightsbutyieldedthedaystothe
sorrowsandjoysoflife.
Thefollowingday,thehangmanwithahotironburnedoutLazaruseyes.Thenhewassenthome.Thedeified
Augustusdarednotkillhim.
==========
Lazarusreturnedtothedesert,andthewildernessmethimwithhissinggustsofwindandtheheatoftheblazing
sun.Againhewassittingonastone,hisrough,bushybeardliftedupandthetwoblackholesinplaceofhis
eyeslookedattheskywithanexpressionofdullterror.Afarofftheholycitystirrednoisilyandrestlessly,but
aroundhimeverythingwasdesertedanddumb.Nooneapproachedtheplacewherelivedhewhohad
miraculouslyrisenfromthedead,andlongsincehisneighborshadforsakentheirhouses.Drivenbythehotiron
intothedepthofhisskull,hiscursedknowledgehidthereinanambush.Asifleapingoutfromanambushit
plungeditsthousandinvisibleeyesintotheman,andnoonedaredlookatLazarus.
Andintheevening,whenthesun,reddeningandgrowingwider,wouldcomenearerandnearerthewestern
horizon,theblindLazaruswouldslowlyfollowit.Hewouldstumbleagainststonesandfall,stoutandweakas
hewaswouldriseheavilytohisfeetandwalkonagainandontheredscreenofthesunsethisblackbodyand
outspreadhandswouldformamonstrouslikenessofacross.
Anditcametopassthatoncehewentoutanddidnotcomeback.Thusseeminglyendedthesecondlifeofhim
whoforthreedayshadbeenundertheenigmaticalswayofdeath,androsemiraculouslyfromthedead.
http://dlx.bookzz.org/foreignction/705000/eaa875b670bec80391ef2ed0832e5220.html/_as/[Andreyev_Leonid]_Lazarus(BookZZ. 11/11

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