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Question: Parental Communication

Why do you think some parents (maybe yours included) are hesitant to discuss sexuality with

their children? If you are not a parent, do you think you will communicate about sexuality like

your parents or will you approach the subject differently? If you are a parent, have you

communicated to your children about sexuality? Was your approach different than your parents?

Answer:

I believe most parents are extremely hesitant to discuss anything that has to do with

sexuality. I am a parent of two young girls and I am terrified of the day I need to speak to my

girls about sex. Currently they are 7 and 4 years old, but with the use of the internet and

television it is just a matter of time before I have the talk with them. I certainly dont want them

to have the same bad experiences I had as a young adolescent wondering that the heck is going

on and why my parents didnt want to talk about it. Communication I believe is a huge key in

establishing positive sexuality in children. I want them to understand what sex is and why adults

choose to have sex. I also want them to understand the consequences of having unprotected sex. I

really wish my parents would have had that talk with me, but they never did, they relied on

school and friends to teach me, not such a great idea. The messages I received were unrealistic

and unsafe. I remember a friend in high school who told me that if the man pulls out before he

ejaculates than youre safe because the sperm is what makes you pregnant and gives you

sexually transmitted diseases, so as long, as he ejaculates outside your body youre fine. I would

think to myself, well that doesnt sound safe at all.

I believe my parents were highly influenced by religion, per our text book, religion has

an enormous influence on sexual beliefs and decisions. People who rank high on religiosity
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(group affiliation, attendance at religious services, adherence to sanctions) tend to make more

conservative sexual decisions such as delaying first intercourse and having fewer sexual

partners. (Knox & Milstein, 2017, p. 21). Religion plays such a huge part in what I call sexual

guilt, anyone who is having sex out of wedlock is considered a deviant. My parents came from a

very conservative family of Catholics and having sex before marriage was considered a huge sin

and shame to the family name and values. Perhaps this shame and guilt played a huge role in the

lack of communication they had towards me regarding this matter. Catholic school played a huge

role in my upbringing where we were taught only about abstinence, nothing else. I know both of

parents also attended catholic school too, when they were very young children so it was very

much part of their upbringing too. If you dont talk about it than it doesnt exist!

In conclusion, even though I have not yet talked to my young girls about sex I have been

researching the best ways to relate this information to them. I want to come from a place of

compassion, understanding and experience. I want them to know that it is a natural part of being

human. I also want them to understand that not all parents talk to their kids about sex and that

sexuality makes people uncomfortable it a very personal thing. Most of all I want to teach them

about safety and how dangerous it is to have unprotected sex and about pregnancy.
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Reference List

Knox, D., & Milstein, S. (2017). Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions (5th ed.) [with

Salt Lake Community College supplement]. Redding, CA: BVT Publishing.