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COMM 2110
Final Report
One more example would be when Madi and I after class when we were
walking to the car and I was telling her about something so
unimportant, just rambling, but she was on her phone and didnt hear
it so she asked me to repeat myself. Since it wasnt important I didnt
want to say it again so I said You were on your phone, I am not
repeating myself. I didnt mean for it to come out sounding so rude
but it did. So there was tension between us and we were quiet almost
the whole ride home
Strategies
When I learned in my interpersonal communications class that there are
useful strategies to have better relationships with others I wanted to use
them in my daily conversations to see if there was a significant difference.
Below are some of the strategies I have learned and/or used.
Constraints
I noticed one big constraint while using the strategies above was that the
other person I am talking to wouldnt respond with what I needed to continue
my part of the conversation. This would be frustrating and harder for me to
continue without becoming aggressive. For example if I am trying to get my
feelings across using I statements or asking a question and the other
person doesnt follow some of the steps and puts me down I have tried
explaining to them my interpersonal communications class and the steps to
resolve our issue and the other person has not cared to continue with me.
Another constraint was trying to remember to use these strategies in
everyday talk. It was easier to remember to use them during arguments
where I wanted to win rather than normal conversation.
Implementation
To enact the new behavior I would have to close my eyes and take a few
breathes before responding. Another way to keep up with using the
strategies was to always have my journals on my mind. I noticed it was
easier to remember to use these strategies if I needed to write one of my
two journals for the week.
I made big changes with friends and family in a positive way. I can still work on the initial
conversation/communication, but saving face and making up for being aggressive using some of
the strategies above has saved a lot of strain from my relationships. For example from my journal
when my mom hit my friends car I was able to have a rational conversation with my
friend and take the time to apologize to my mom by studying up and thought
about what to say first. I expressed that I shouldnt have reacted the way I
did and that I didnt know what to do in the situation. She told me that she
Felt like an idiot for hitting her car and helped me understand her side of
things. From there we fixed the tension on our relationship within the same
day which otherwise could have taken a lot more time. I tried to fix the
constraints from the last section by really explaining to the other person that
I am working on fixing my own communication pattern but I am still learning
myself and to work with me the best we both could. I didnt plan to achieve
this yet but the only thing I want to achieve in the future is to have good
communication with someone I am in an intimate relationship with because
that is why my past relationships have failed. I am excited though for the
future, the next time I am in one that I will be able to apply everything I have
learned and have great communication with them.
Results
All and all I think that I had some really positive results from trying these
strategies out in my real life. This has resulted in me having happier
relationships with friends and family. I was more able to think about others
feelings instead of just my own. These are strategies that I will definitely take
with me for the rest of my life. The only negative outcome I can think of from
this project is that I am always over thinking about what should be done or
said, or what could have been done or said better. Almost everything turned
out how I would have expected them to through using the interpersonal
communication theories. There were times it didnt pan out the way I
expected and that was only when talking with my dad. I would try and solve
issues and he would rather yell no matter what. Even when it was my mom
and I trying to explain the situation and that we wanted to fix the problem
and not elevate it more, he would just say Yeah, okay in response. I am
satisfied with the changes I have made for myself this semester in class and
my attempt at changes show that these examples work most of the time.
Recommendations
I plan on always using these strategies in the future because so far they
have been very helpful. I would like to learn new and more strategies as well
as work on the ones I already know continuously. I also plan to still journal in
the future to keep track of my changes and to help me continue making
positive communication changes in my life. I will also remember primacy and
recency theory and not let those effect my relationship either. Another
strategy I could use in the future is managing goals. Manage Goals (Beebe,
Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.247) identify your own goal and your partners
goal, figure out where they overlap and to manage the goal: separate the
people from the problem, focus on shared interests, generate many options,
and make decisions off criteria. Then use problem solving, define the
problem, analyze problem, determine goals, generate multiple solutions, and
select the best solution. Using these steps helps both people in the party
save face.
Works Cited
Solve Problems rather Than Control (Beebe, Beebe, Redmond, 2014, p.176)