Shumaker

Vincent Shumaker

Professor Rebecca Agosta

UWRT-1101-006

5 February 2017

My Spiritual Literacy

Where I am from, religion was constantly circulating in conversation. It was not

uncommon for someone to directly ask Do you believe in God? What they meant by this was

Are you a Christian? I was always caught off guard by the question even though it had such a

common occurrence. I had the same response as everyone did, Yes, of course I do. Although, I

had no idea if I did or not. I have always been agnostic. I am content with not knowing if God

exists, because it is an impossible thing to prove or disprove. Yet spirituality is not believing in

God, but is connecting to your own soul. So, I sought after the truth of a divine existence while

learning from my own experience, and the experience of others, in spirituality.

My mother was Catholic while I was growing up. I have some vague memories of going

to church. Im not sure exactly when we stopped going, but I do remember the liberation of the

obligation that church brings. I was a child and just wanted to play on Sundays. You could say

that I had no upbringing around religion. I am glad that I was not pressured into being a Christian

by my family, but that does not mean I was not pressured by peers and absolute strangers. Seeing

the way that religion is pressed onto people was my first real impression of it, and this caused me

to dislike it. A sad first step down the road of spiritual awakening.

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As a teenager, I had many questions about life, science, and spirituality. My curiosity was

baffling to the adults I would interrogate. Most of my questions were unanswered, until I met a

man named Leo Gunter. Mr. Gunter was the first of many to engage in my conversations without

hesitation. He was a computer teacher at my high school who was adamant about his teaching

and welcome to all types of questions- related or unrelated to computers. I came to him for a

multitude of things, one being the discussion of religion. He claimed to be a Christian and said

that if he were to follow any other religion it would be Buddhism. He took what he liked about

religious teachings and left what he didnt like. I remember a segment of our conversation:

You can find God anywhere you look if you try.

I can find the color red anywhere I look if I try.

But what is the consequence of looking for the color red over looking for God?

I had no response to his question. I did not like his point and it only raised more questions

for me. Do people believe in God out of fear? Can someone truly believe in God if their

motivation is fear? I eventually came to see that a lot of people claim a religion almost strictly

based on their fear of the afterlife. This drove me further from Christianity and sparked a hate for

it.

During this time, I met another who would share his experience with me. His name was

Shaun and he was the cousin to my second family- my mothers friends family. He was an older

gentleman and even though he was a terrible role model, I looked up to him in some ways. Shaun

was an atheist, and the first to be open with me about his disbelief. I had friends that considered

themselves atheists, but their descriptions of their beliefs were simplistic, while Shaun could

articulate his thoughts in an understandable way. He hated religion and we would bond over this.

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He said that spirituality was a waste of time, and that people could dedicate themselves to more

productive things. I never asked him why he believes what he does, I felt it too personal.

Later, while I was participating in a field training exercise in the US Army, I had my first

very profound experience with what I believe to be the spirit realm. I was in my position laying

behind my machine gun, when a hummingbird hovered in front of my barrel. It was uninterested

in the gun and was staring me directly in the eyes. It was strange because it seemed much too

cold to see a hummingbird flying around. I had a strong familiar feeling from this bird that I

could not trace. It was there for a minute and then left. When I returned to society and cell phone

reception, I received a call from my mothers friend. She was calm and asked me how things

were. She then burst into tears and told me Shaun had died the day before. I didnt handle that

very well. I later came to find that he died shortly before my experience with the hummingbird,

and that another person who was close to him had a similar experience with a hummingbird that

day. I know it was Shaun who payed me a visit.

During my time in service of America I met a lot of great people. One that was key to my

spiritual development was Kevin Keatts. We were- and still are- very close, so much so that I

was his best man at his wedding. Kevin was a Wiccan. He was a wonderful story teller in my

opinion and loved to share his experience with others. Some of what he said was too farfetched

for me, but that did not stop me from listening. He spoke of communicating with the spirit realm

and interrogating its inhabitance. This brought an entirely new concept to the table. It made

spirituality seem tangible by giving it a realm of existence. Unlike the Christian view of the

afterlife, this place was granted to all and had no good nor evil. That concept was much more

agreeable to me. He told me that reincarnation was real, but it was a choice. A soul that had

transitioned into the spirit realm could choose to return to our reality as a new person. Another

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much more agreeable concept, but against the Buddhist view. Kevins teachings ultimately

showed me that the road to spiritual awakening has many paths.

After my exodus from the Army I became a much happier human. I started practicing

meditation regularly. I really started to understand who I was. I found myself, and in turn, found

true spirituality. I met a like-minded individual along the way, Mason. I met Mason while

working in the cannabis industry. He had a strong presence and an open mind. He had a great

depth of knowledge of other religions. I never read into many religions, but I had a small

understanding of each. Mason looked into many religions on his path to understanding and was

enthused to share his knowledge, yet he had no claim to any of them. He believed that religion

took the fun out of spirituality, and I agree.

I currently have no claim to any religion, but I do consider myself a spiritual person. I

was only able to find what the meaning of true spirituality is by the influence and guidance of

others, along with my own experience. If I had met other people, or made different choices, then

my idea of spirituality would also change. Although my initial exposure to religion was fairly

negative, I developed my spiritual understanding into a positive aspect of my life. I would say

the beginning of my journey was the most important part, as it forced me to veer away from a

traditional road to understanding. My knowledge of spirituality is a huge part of who I am and

how I carry myself through life. I am thankful for everyone who has given me guidance through

the years.