Benjamin Wright

FHS 2400
3/19/2017

QUESTION
OPTION D: ARE YOU READY?
Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question, "How do you
know if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help, you may
interview two other people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the factors
predicting marital success, look at your own past relationships. What factors, such as
background, personality characteristics, and relationship characteristics, might have predicted the
quality of your relationship? Were any particular characteristics especially important for you?
Why?
ANSWER
I interviewed my dad for this question and this is what he said. One of the best things to

determine if youre ready for marriage is if you feel like you are ready to commit to that person

for the rest of your life, and if youre in a point in your life where youre mature and capable of

starting a family, and are at a point in school where you can support it financially. If you feel like

the person you are with is the right one like you are compatible with that person, then youre

probably ready.

I would likely agree mostly with what he said. I think to know that you are ready should

be based on your foundation with that person pre marriage. I think its important that both people

are open in communication, and have talked about the subject of marriage. You cant just wake

up one day and propose to a girl you barely know. It will take them by surprise, and they will

likely reject it. But on the flips side, beginning a relationship that is slow and steady and covers

all of the bases will likely work out. Knowing how your significant other reacts under stress,

pressure, and anxiety is good to know. Knowing how they deal with problems, and how they
treat other people is good to know too. The pre-marriage stage is the stage to scout them out, to

determine if they are really who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

When my friend comes up to me and asks the question about readiness for marriage, I

would also respond with the statistic that, People who marry young are at greater risk of

seeing their marriages fail (Strong 291). I think marrying at 21 isnt too young, but I would be

cautious and make sure that they absolutely want to be with this person. I would describe to them

the halo effect where one quality leads them to think that they are the perfect person for them,

when in reality that may not be true.

As for my past experience in my relationships, I would say that one of the bigger factors

that played in the downfall of those relationships was my inability to communicate my emotions

in a way she reciprocated them. The ability to identify and communicate emotions is also

associated with marital satisfaction. Such ability appears to differ by gender, with men having

more difficulty identifying emotions expressed by women and with expressing and effectively

communicating their own emotional state (Strong 293). I almost always could never talk about

my emotions in fear that talking about them would only make her upset. As the text mentions, I

could almost never identify her emotions either. One day shed be very happy and upbeat, the

next itd seem like all hell broke loose in her life. It was very confusing. Regardless, my inability

to communicate my emotions and my inability to observe her emotions led to the downfall of

that relationship. I saw that she made no attempt to show me any affection, and I took it hard,

when in fact she was showing it, but I was too blind to see it. I got upset over these things, but

never actually communicated to her that it was a problem, and it remained silent. Our

relationship gradually faded into oblivion. Personality characteristics are important to be aware
of when knowing youre ready for marriage. Having someone who will openly communicate

with you about anything is one of the most important qualities I think your spouse should have.
 Work Cited

Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships

In a changing society (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.