* FAMILY IN TE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

PRO*

I. THE AMERICAN FAMILY BETWEEN MYTH AND REALITY

* DEFINITION.
Family,broadly speaking,is a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children,
considered as a group. The traditional family structure in the United States is considered a
family support system involving two married individuals providing care and stability for their
biological offspring. Over time, the traditional structure has had to adapt to very influential
changes, including divorce and the introduction of single-parent families, teenage
pregnancy and unwed mothers, and same-sex marriage,interracial marriage, and increased
interest in adoption. Social movements such as the feminist movement and the stay-at-home
dad have contributed to the creation of alternative family forms, generating new versions of
the American family.

Family in U.S. society is a symbol, a visual image that speaks to us through the
senses, including smells, tastes, textures, motions, and sounds from our own
remembered experiences, as well as through our dreams and longings about
what family should be.

The nuclear family has been considered the "traditional" family since the communist scare in
the cold war of the 1950s. The nuclear family consists of a mother, father, and the children.
The two-parent nuclear family has become less prevalent, and pre-American and European
family forms have become more common.

*MYTHS AND REALITY-

1. THE "DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY."

Therapist K. Virginia Satir once said the vast majority of families will go through periods
of dysfunction as they adapt to a changing world. Any system open to growth and change
will experience dysfunction as it changes (and, remember, that during times of change, things
will often get worse before they get better.)

The truth is, that families are facing challenges each day with optimism, hope and
commitment.Many families are learning to "reintegrate" themselves so they can preserve the
strength inherent in families that have healthy bonds .
E.G. In 1962-63 ,85% of all fathers said that raising kids was primarily a mother's
responsibility. Now surveys show that about 40% of all fathers think raising children is a great
responsibility for the both participants.

The "dysfunctional family" is a stereotype. Most families function. They just may
not be functioning in all ways according to the ideal of certain best-selling
authors. E.G.For example, three children raised by the same parent(s) may report
very different perceptions of that family.

2.ABUSED CHILDREN GROW UP TO BE ABUSIVE PARENTS.

Research indicates that approximately 90% of all abusive parents were themselves abused as
children.

Many people are familiar with this statistic and jump to the conclusion that if a child is
abused, he or she will grow up to be an abuser. Adults who were abused children but
don't abuse their own children are not reported to authorities.

Research from the Department of Health and Human Services shows that 60%-65% of
abused children do not repeat a pattern of abuse when they have children. Some research
indicates that children who learn to act upon emotions rather that react to them are able to
break the pattern. Affected people wont preffer to affect others,to harm themselves.

The majority of families in the United States are doing OK at their job of raising kids.
They're functioning fairly well, even though they may go through periods of difficulty.
Families are producing children who view their parents and many other adults as people they
can look up to and count on.

3.THE MYTH OF A STABLE AND HARMONIOUS FAMILY OF THE PAST.

Most people think that families of the past were better than families of the
present. In our collective imagination, families in past times were more stable,
better adjusted, and happier.

On closer examination, this glorified family of the past is a historical

fiction that never existed.

Two points must be made about the stubborn myth of a vanished family past. First, family
historians have found that there has never been a golden age of the family. Families have never
been perfect. Across time, historians have found contrasts between the families people have and the
families they want (Gillis, 1996). Families have experienced outside pressures and internal family
conflicts. There has always been desertion by spouses, illegitimate children, and certainly spouse
and child abuse. Divorce rates were lower, but this does not mean that love was stronger in the
past. Many women died earlier from pregnancy complications, which kept divorce rates lower
and which meant that many children were raised by single parents or stepparents, just as now.
Divorces were relatively uncommon also because of strong religious prohibitions and community
norms against divorce. As a result, many empty marriages continued without love and happiness to
bind them. To judge marriage of the past as better than contemporary marriage is to ignore historical
changes. We expect more of marriage than did our forebears, but this fact makes modern marriage
neither better nor worse, only different. Our challenge is to avoid nostalgia for a mythic past and
examine the real problems being faced by todays families (Mintz, 2004, 2012).

Also, The stability of families was tested by the Great Depression, as unemployment and
lower wages forced Americans to delay marriage and having children. The divorce rate
fell during this time because it was expensive and few could afford it

*A.The historical approach-puritan family .

When America was founded, a family consisted of a husband, wife, biological children
and extended family except for in the case of slaves. This meant that most people
who could legally marry did, and then stayed married until death. Divorce was rare.
Because this structure was so dominant, it played a crucial role in the creation and
replication of cultural roles for men and women. The role of wives was to assist
their husbands within the home, both keeping house and raising children.
Wives had no legal identity under a condition called coverture, in which married women
could not own property, could not enter into contracts and could neither sue nor be
sued in their own names. Husbands, in contrast, were managers and providers in
the family. They controlled finances and had ultimate authority in the eyes of both
society and the law
The family was regarded as a religious society with the obligations of group Scripture
reading, prayer, and catechizing.Within the family the husband was without question
the master. He was prince and teacher, pastor and judge in his household=NO
RIGHTS FOR WOMAN (Francis J. Bremer, The Puritan Experiment, p. 177).

B.The modern/contemporary approach

Profound changes have reshaped families in recent years. Families today are very different
from what they used to be. They are more diverse and more likely to be formed outside of
marriage than in the past. They include a complex array of domestic arrangements, and they
are more easily fractured.Parents have less influence over their children. These changes are
not unique to the United States. Indeed, they have global dimensions. Throughout the world,
every industrialized country is experiencing the same changes. Womens growing
economic independence, widespread divorce, and cohabitation have made marriage optional
for many people. Family change and diversity is present. . One reason for these
developments is that marriage has been repositioned as a cornerstone to capstone, from
a foundational act of early adulthood to following event of later adulthood. It is viewed
as an event that should happen after finishing college and establishing a career.

Many of the changes that were part of this transition are a direct result of the expanding
role of women in society, both in terms of the workplace and education. The rise of the post-
industrial economy, based in information and services, led to more married women entering
the workplace. Today, the male-breadwinner, female-housewife family represents only a
small percentage of American households. A considerable majority of Americans (62
percent) view the idea of marriage as one in which husband and wife both work and share
child care and household duties.

A number of historical factors contributed to shifts in how Americans perceive and participate
in family structure. According to the American Bar Association, in 1965, the Supreme Court
extended constitutional protections for various forms of reproductive freedom through its
ruling in Griswold v. Connecticut. There were also medical advances in contraception,
including the invention of the birth control pill in 1960.

Included in these trends is the expansion of rights granted to same-sex couples. With the
decline of barriers to lesbian and gay unions and the increase in legal protections, the
number of lesbian and gay people living openly and forming families has expanded.
However, for most legal purposes these relationships are not treated like marriages in
common law. Still, in general families are more racially, ethnically, religiously and
stylistically diverse than half a generation ago than even half a year ago.

. The evidence does show that children in divorced, remarried, or unmarried families are at
greater risk for a number of problems

Social researchers disagree about the benefits of the two-parent structure over other family
types for child well-being. Still, important research holds that divorce and other family
changes are not disastrous for children, but should be viewed as family challenges that most
children adapt to over time.

The simple solution that we return to the nuclear family at all costs allows the public and the
government to escape social responsibilities, such as creating millions of jobs that we need,
and building new houses and schools,

AGAINST TRADITIONAL FAMILY

However, the nuclear family unit can also isolatepeople from other relatives and
relationships. This can break down the extended family unit, which can be beneficial in
hard times. Grandparents, aunts and uncles should have a place within a family, but the
nuclear family does not always create one for them

Family members, particularly mothers, may have a tendency to burn out from attempting to
meet every person's needs alone.Stress, depression, anxiety or other problems can all be a
result of nuclear family burnout.
Conflict is a part of life, and conflict resolution skills are beneficial in school, in the
community and in the workplace. Nuclear families can begin to develop like-minded
thinking, which will lead to fewer arguments within the family unit. However, it can
increase the disagreements with extended family members. Extended family, with differing
opinions and ideas, can help families see alternate viewpoints and learn to effectively
deal with conflicts and opinions other than their own.

C.1.Same sex families

Gay parents "tend to be more motivated, more devoted than heterosexual parents on
average (in medie), because they chose to be parents. Gays and lesbians rarely become
parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate
among heterosexuals.. These kids may have the advantage of open-mindedness, tolerance
and role models for fair relationships, according to some research.

According to the 2010 United States Census Bureau, two million children are being raised by
lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender parents (LGBT) in southern states like Mississippi,
Louisiana, Texas and southwest Utah. Children who have same sex couples as parents were
either conceived in opposite sex marriages or relationships, an alternative insemination, or
adoption.

An October 2011 report by Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that, of gay and
lesbian adoptions at more than 300 agencies, 10 percent of the kids placed were older than 6
typically a very difficult age to adopt out. About 25 percent were older than 3. Sixty
percent of gay and lesbian couples adopted across races .. More than half of the kids adopted
by gays and lesbians had special needs.

The myth of poor mental health by children of same sex parents is not true because
researchers found that children with LGBT parents had the same amount of self-esteem
( confidence) and spent as much family time with their parents compared to children of
heterosexual parents. In fact , sociologists from( of) New York University found that children
of gay and lesbian couples to be healthier and have a stronger family unit and even more they
found no differences between children raised in homes with two heterosexual parents and
children raised with lesbian parents. More research on same sex family demonstrate
that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ from other children in terms of
emotional functioning, sexual orientation, gender role behavior, behavioral accomodation,
gender identity, school performance and a variety of other life-success measures. Research
has shown that the sexual orientation of a child's parents does not effect their
development, but that the quality of the parent and child relationship is what really
shapes their mental health.

Good parenting
1. The child gets the opportunity to get the benefits from new parents both in health and
financial support. Since there are many children that are off for adoption, gay parents are able
to pour (sa-si reverse) all their love for their child through tangible and non-tangible things
(pentru lucruri reale sau ireale).

2. Gay parents get to start their own family and give a home to an orphan. They get to show
how they care for their child and give their adopted child a complete family that they did not
experience.

3. Children get to grow in a home that is filled with love and affection since the gay parents
know how they want their children to grow appreciating their life.

4. Adoptive parents are increasing and are able to lessen (a diminua) the children staying in
welfare (ajutor social) communities. It is also considered as the best alternative for the foster-
care system that leaves child wanting to have the same family or attention given by their
foster parents while temporarily staying with them.

The pros of gay parenting are not all about the benefits of the new family unit but also in the
society. Gay parents are able to help in focusing on the welfare of children and give every
child that they adopt the opportunity in living in a loving family.

C 2.Interracial families

1. Acceptance of New Culture

One of the biggest advantages to interracial marriage is the ability to learn more about a new
culture. When you only have relationships with people from your own culture, you do not
expand your knowledge and are often less accepting of others. Being in a relationship with
someone from another culture ensures that you are exposed to others. This means that you
have the ability to learn about and experience foods, religion, music and so much more from a
different culture that you are likely not familiar with. Stepping outside of what you know is
good for just about everyone and allows you to have a new perspective. You are a much more
well rounded person when you learn about other cultures.

2. Break Stereotypes
Interracial marriage is also good because it helps to chip away at some of the stereotypes that
have been ingrained into society. You are able to show your partner that the negative
stereotypes about your race are not true and they can do the same for you. Whatever
prejudices you might have held, you are bale to let them go and will not pass them onto your
children. This means that you are helping to stop the cycle of stereotypes and racism. When
you are accepting of others, it can sometimes help to make others around you more accepting.
Interracial Parent Pairs Invest More
In 2007, a study published in the American Journal of Sociology shows that interracial parents
invest more in their children's education than similar parents of a single race. They provide
more educational tools and materials at home -- from home computers to flashcards -- they
pay for higher-quality education and their kids attend more enrichment activities such as
dance or sports outside of school. Interracial parents were "aware of the challenges their
children will be facing. In turn, they try to compensate for this," according to the report. It's
worth noting one exception to this pattern: children with a black father and a white mother
had fewer resources invested in them than other children.

Multiracial Kids, Proud and Relaxed

In 2009, another study on biracial children was published in the Journal of Social Issues. This
paper demonstrated that kids who identified as multiracial -- as more than one ethnicity or
race -- were more psychologically resilient and less stressed out than their peers, on average.
An important detail: this was true even if their peers were in a higher-status racial group. The
researchers, Kevin Binning and Miguel Unzueta, hypothesized that "it might be that
individuals who identify with multiple groups are better able to navigate both racially
homogeneous and heterogeneous environments."
Richer Cultural Resources
Kelly Burrello of the Diversity Training Group has another take on the advantages of
interracial families. Interracial families tend to live in a more culturally diverse environment
-- they live in mixed neighborhoods, have a richer set of family traditions, customs and
sometimes languages to draw from and function as living bridges between communities.
Perhaps most importantly, Burrello also notes that "In a world marked by racial boundaries,
multiracial families provide convincing evidence that races can coexist, not only in the same
neighborhood but in the same home." Or even the same person.

II.FICTIONAL REPRESENTATION OF AMERICAN FAMILIES

This figure illustrates the changing structure of families in the U.S. Only 7% of families in the
U.S. in 2002 were "traditional" families

III.CONCLUSION
All in all, all of this change does not mean that the family is a dying institution. About 90
percent of Americans still marry and have children, and those who divorce usually remarry.
Though marriages today look different, are formed at different times, and are dissolved
differently and at different times than they were in the past, at least in the near future it
appears that marriage will remain a prominent family structure and cultural force.

Choosing to raise a family by the nuclear model or any other one will not guarantee success
or happinesss.By being aware of the possible disadvantages, you can look for ways to
alleviate them. After all, no family is perfect. Working together with all family members
ensures the best possible outcomes for everyone involved.