Part C - Literacy Assessment Commentary 2

Elementary Education - Literacy
Task 3: Literacy Assessment Commentary
TASK 3: LITERACY ASSESSMENT COMMENTARY

Respond to the prompts below (no more than 10 single-spaced pages, including prompts) by typing your responses within
the brackets following each prompt. Do not delete or alter the prompts. Commentary pages exceeding the maximum will not be
scored. Attach the assessment you used to evaluate student performance (no more than 5 additional pages) to the end of this
file. If you submit a student work sample or feedback as a video or audio clip and you or your focus students cannot be clearly
heard, attach a transcription of the inaudible comments (no more than 2 additional pages) to the end of this file. These pages
do not count toward your page total.
1. Analyzing Student Learning

a. Identify the specific learning objectives measured by the assessment you chose for analysis.
[The specific learning objectives measured by the assessment I chose for analysis are as
follows: the student will be able to introduce a how-to/sequence writing piece, accurately
sequence four events/steps in a process, and provide an on-topic sense of closure. The I Can
statement from the Lesson Plan (Lesson #5) is as follows: I can write a sequence of events,
and provide a sense of closure.]
b. Provide a graphic (table or chart) or narrative that summarizes student learning for your
whole class. Be sure to summarize student learning for all evaluation criteria submitted in
Literacy Assessment Task 3, Part D.
[Part D: Evaluation Criteria:
Please Note: The Student Names in the second column do not directly correspond with
the focus student numbers (Ex: Student #3 on the following chart is not the same as
Focus Student #3).
Stude Student Date Scor Evaluation Criteria:

nt Name: Assess e:
Numb ed:
er:
4 3 2 1
Writes an Writes Attempts Does not

on-topic either an a catchy correctly
catchy on-topic first sequence
first catchy sentence events, and does
sentence, first and not attempt a
correctly sentence conclusio catchy first
sequence or a n, but is sentence/conclu
d four conclusio not on- sion.
events/ste n, but topic.
ps in a does not Correctly
process, write sequence
provides both. s four
a sense Correctly events/ste
of closure sequence ps in a
Copyright 2016 Board of Trustees of the Leland Stanford Junior University. 1 of 8 | 10 pages maximum
All rights reserved. V5_0916
The edTPA trademarks are owned by The Board of Trustees of the Leland Stanford Junior University. Use of the edTPA trademarks is
permitted only pursuant to the terms of a written license agreement.
through s four process.

an on- events/ste
topic ps in a
conclusio process.
n. 1 student
12
students
7 2
students students
1 Student #1 2/24/17 2
2 Student #2 2/24/17 4
3 Student #3 2/24/17 3
4 Student #4 2/24/17 3
5 Student #5 2/24/17 4
6 Student #6 2/24/17 4
7 Student #7 2/24/17 3
8 Student #8 2/24/17 2
9 Student #9 2/24/17 4
10 Student #10 2/24/17 3
11 Student #11 2/24/17 4
12 Student #12 2/24/17 4
13 Student #13 2/24/17 4
14 Student #14 2/24/17 3
15 Student #15 2/24/17 4
16 Student #16 2/24/17 4
17 Student #17 2/24/17 4
18 Student #18 2/24/17 3
19 Student #19 2/24/17 4
20 Student #20 2/24/17 3
21 Student #21 2/24/17 1
22 Student #22 2/24/17 4
Evaluation criteria is outlined in the table above, and students receive either a 1, 2, 3, or 4 for
their overall score on this assessment. 12 students met all of the criteria (4), and demonstrated
understanding of the concept of sequencing; 7 students received a 3, which mean they were
correctly able to sequence four events in their writing, but they only included either an on-topic
introductory sentence, or an on-topic conclusion, but not both. Two students were unable to
write an on-topic conclusion and an on-topic introductory sentence, and only one student did not
demonstrate sufficient understanding of the central focus (sequencing/sequence writing). Most
of the students who earned four on their assessments understood the concept, and could even
apply the related skills by constructing a catchy first sentence and a conclusion; however, these
students could be challenged to develop detail in their writing.]
c. Use evidence found in the 3 student work samples and the whole class summary to
analyze the patterns of learning for the whole class and differences for groups or individual
learners relative to
the essential literacy strategy
related skills
Consider what students understand and do well, and where they continue to struggle
(e.g., common errors, confusions, need for greater challenge).
[Most of my students have demonstrated understanding of the four sequence words, and how to
sequence basic events/steps. When students showed confusion about sequencing events, it
was as we processed their first drafts. For example, one student wrote, This is how I get
dressed, but proceeded to write about other events that take place when getting ready for
school. After conferencing with students about this issue, most were able to redirect their
writing, and to stay on one topic. The primary struggle my students continue to demonstrate is
the challenge of writing an appropriate, on-topic introduction or conclusion. Common errors
include writing opinion-based conclusions, This is why I love ____. or topic writing-based
conclusions, I love learning about ____. Another confusion my students have had is
concerning the related skills of using a graphic organizer. My students are familiar with using a
graphic organizer to structure their writing, but when they transfer their writing to their final
copies, they sometimes copy the organizational words, too. Some of my students have a need
for greater challenge; they need to elaborate on their sentences, and to include detail to deepen
the scope of their writing pieces.]
d. If a video or audio work sample occurs in a group context (e.g., discussion), provide the
name of the clip and clearly describe how the scorer can identify the focus student(s)
(e.g., position, physical description) whose work is portrayed.
[N/A]
2. Feedback to Guide Further Learning
Refer to specific evidence of submitted feedback to support your explanations.
a. Identify the format in which you submitted your evidence of feedback for the 3 focus
students. (Delete choices that do not apply.)
In audio files
In video clips from Literacy Instruction Task 2 (provide a time-stamp reference) or in

separate video clips
If a video or audio clip of feedback occurs in a group context (e.g., discussion), clearly
describe how the scorer can identify the focus student (e.g., position, physical
description) who is being given feedback.
[In the Student 3 Feedback audio clip, the student can be heard tapping out spelling words,
editing her writing, and participating in a think-aloud, in response to my questions/prompts.]
b. Explain how feedback provided to the 3 focus students addresses their individual strengths
and needs relative to the learning objectives measured.
[Student 1 - The feedback I gave this student addresses his specific needs because I spent time
encouraging him about what he had written well, and worked with him to change his conclusion
from an opinion writing conclusion to a sequence writing conclusion. I also talked with this
student about sequencing, and asked him what our four sequence words are. This student
thrives on one-on-one time and feedback; he has ADHD and it can be hard for him to focus and
to do his best. When he receives even just a few minutes of personal attention, he is generally
more engaged in his work. Student 2 - The feedback I gave this student addresses her specific
needs because I spent time challenging her to think about the specific steps/events she wanted
to include in her writing. She is a gifted student, and is generally able to take feedback and
revise/edit her writing primarily independently. However, she does need to be challenged, so
she does not begin to settle for less than her best work. She understood the process of
sequencing, but potentially had the misconception that she would see immediate results from
her idea [i.e., teaching her little brother how to speak well]. Student 3 - This student requires
extra conferencing and scaffolding in order to use the graphic organizer appropriately. While she
can typically speak what she would like to write, as an English Language Learner, this student
often struggles with turning her ideas into complete sentences [i.e., on paper], and with following
the prompts on the graphic organizer. Therefore, this student often benefits from having her
writing read with/to her, so she can hear what she has written; this helps her make necessary
revisions, before her pencil ever touches the paper. We worked together to improve her spelling
on some words (by, tapping out wordsa phonics strategy outlined by our districts phonics
curriculum), in order to reinforce her developing language skills. Because this student is typically
strongly engaged in learning, and is strong in speaking her ideas, a think-aloud about the next
two prompts (Then, and Last) was an effective way to guide this student to continue her
writing, using those two prompts as the foundation for her next two sentences. After
conferencing one-on-one, I had the student take her writing back to her desk so she could
continue to make developments and changes.]
c. Describe how you will support each focus student to understand and use this feedback to
further their learning related to learning objectives, either within the learning segment or at a
later time.
[Student 1 - I will continue to encourage this student slow down, or, as we say in our classroom,
Stop, wait, and then do. He is capable of great work, but needs to take the time to focus and
read his writing. I will continue to work this student on writing conclusions that are appropriate
for the style of writing at hand, and will ask the student what he is confused about, or what he
would like to understand better [i.e., receiving student feedback about learning...this idea also
promotes metacognition, which is a valuable skill both inside and outside of the classroom].
Student 2 - This student needs to continually be challenged. When I give her feedback, I want to
be sure that I am giving her thorough feedback, instead of assuming she knows exactly what I
mean. She is a gifted student, but she still needs time, feedback, and support. What I want to
continue to help this student understand is that she can always improve her writing, and that
everyone has room to grow. Student 3 I will further this students understanding of the Learning
Objectives by citing her own writing and experience in order to help her make meaningful
connections to the content. Because this student, with feedback and support, has successfully
produced a sequence writing piece, her own work can be used as a conceptual example to help
her better understand the learning objectives. Additionally, because this student sometimes
struggles with fear when approaching a new type of writing/graphic organizer, I can remind the
student of the great work she accomplished during this learning segment, in order to help her
establish a positive mental set as she begins new challenges.]
3. Evidence of Language Understanding and Use
When responding to the prompt below, use concrete examples from the video clip(s) and/or
student work samples as evidence. Evidence from the clip(s) may focus on one or more
students.
You may provide evidence of students language use from ONE, TWO, OR ALL THREE of
the following sources:
1. Use video clips from Literacy Instruction Task 2 and provide time-
stamp references for evidence of language use.
2. Submit an additional video file named Language Use of no more
than 5 minutes in length and cite language use (this can be footage of one or more
students language use). Submit the clip in Literacy Assessment Task 3,
Part B.
3. Use the student work samples analyzed in Literacy Assessment
Task 3 and cite language use.
a. Explain and provide concrete examples for the extent to which your students were able to
use or struggled to use
selected language function,
vocabulary or key phrases, AND
discourse or syntax
to develop content understandings.
[Student 1 - In the Evidence of Feedback video for Student 1, you will hear him ask, Whats a
sequence? This took place on the fifth day of the learning progression. After being somewhat
surprised by his question, I spent a few minutes with him and talked with him about the four
special words we had been using during the learning progression, He was able to produce the
words, first, next, then, and last, but seemed to struggle with understanding the meaning
of the word, sequence. During a separate conference time, the student omitted the sequence
words as he orally read his writing, even though they were present on his graphic organizer. It
was not until I reminded him not to forget those words that he was able to read his writing with
those words included. However, this student showed, after some editing and revision, that he
could produce a near-complete sequence writing piece. Student 2 - This student was able to
transfer the academic vocabulary from her graphic organizer to her final copy, and was able to
accurately sequence the steps in her how-to/sequence writing. She was able to engage in
conversation with me during conferencing, and applied feedback given; the result was a
stronger piece of writing, that was appropriately sequenced. Student 3 - This student was able
to stay on-topic, and thought of events that are part of our daily spelling lesson; with prompting
and support, the student was able to correctly sequence events for, Then, and, Last;
because she stayed on topic in her completed assessment, this student demonstrated some
understanding of the academic vocabulary.]
4. Using Assessment to Inform Instruction
a. Based on your analysis of student learning presented in prompts 1bc, describe next steps
for instruction to impact student learning:
For the whole class
For the 3 focus students and other individuals/groups with specific needs
Consider the variety of learners in your class who may require different
strategies/support (e.g., students with IEPs or 504 plans, English language learners,
struggling readers, underperforming students or those with gaps in academic
knowledge, and/or gifted students needing greater support or challenge).
[For the whole class, I would spend more time developing the idea that introductions and
conclusions can change, depending on the style/genre of writing. I would also feature some
exemplary student work (names omitted), and talk about the features that can strengthen
sequence writing pieces (details, specificity, etc.). For my three focus students, and for other
individuals/groups with specific needs, I would work on sequencing a variety of processes as a
whole group, or in partners. I would reinforce the need to be specific when designing a, how-to
writing piece, and model for students how to stay on topic when writing (perhaps share some
examples and non-examples). I would also introduce students to a few quality how-to writing
mentor texts, so they are able to experience a variety of examples before continuing to create
their own original writing.]
b. Explain how these next steps follow from your analysis of student learning. Support your
explanation with principles from research and/or theory.
[My students have struggled with conclusions and introductions, which set the stage for any
writing piece, regardless of the genre. However, in sequence writing specifically, the, Catchy
first sentence, introduces what the, how-to topic is going to be about. Without a clear direction
from the beginning, it is easier to write off-topic as the student moves farther down the graphic
organizer. Additionally, the inclusion of high-quality mentor texts will, raise the bar for students
who need to be challenged, and will provide quality examples of how-to writing for the students
who need more assistance and scaffolding.]
Literacy Assessment, pg. 1
Literacy Assessment, pg. 2

Part C - Literacy Assessment Commentary 2

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Elementary Education - Literacy

Task 3: Literacy Assessment Commentary

TASK 3: LITERACY ASSESSMENT COMMENTARY

1. Analyzing Student Learning

Stude Student Date Scor Evaluation Criteria:

Writes an Writes Attempts Does not

through s four process.

10 Student #10 2/24/17 3

11 Student #11 2/24/17 4

12 Student #12 2/24/17 4

13 Student #13 2/24/17 4

14 Student #14 2/24/17 3

15 Student #15 2/24/17 4

16 Student #16 2/24/17 4

17 Student #17 2/24/17 4

18 Student #18 2/24/17 3

19 Student #19 2/24/17 4

20 Student #20 2/24/17 3

21 Student #21 2/24/17 1

22 Student #22 2/24/17 4

In video clips from Literacy Instruction Task 2 (provide a time-stamp reference) or in

Literacy Assessment, pg. 1

Literacy Assessment, pg. 2

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