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Why Women Wash the Dishes

By Filomena Colendrino

SCENE 1
Cast: Ugong, Maldang, Cat, Carabao;
Props: Dining set, broom;
Set: Windows, Dining table, outside farm view --
Narrator: In the town of Santa Rosa there once lived a couple named Hugo and Imelda. Every
mealtime they quarreled over the chore of washing the dishes. Imelda would scold Hugo if he
refused to wash the dishes. Sometimes she would become angry and call him names, and if he
talked back she would get her coconut midrib broom and chase him with it. He would run to the
house of his Compadre and hide there till his wifes anger had passed. The neighbor familiarly
called cross Imelda; Ka Maldang, and Hugo, Ka Ugong. One day just as they were finishing their
lunch, Ka Ugong announced,
Ugong: I am not going to wash the dishes any more. He threw out his chest and lifted his chin.
Maldang: says who? Asked Ka Maldang, holding up her chin higher.
Ugong: I say so, I worked hard in the field this morning. I am not going to wash any dishes.
Maldang: Ka Maldang stood up and, with her arms akimbo, she glared down at Ka Ugong across
the table.
Narrator: Her arms were stout. She was a big woman. Her voice was also big.
Maldang: And who, Mister Hugo, is going to wash these dishes? She asked.
Narrator: Ka Ugongs chest sank again.
Ugong: His chin also went down.
Narrator: He held on the edge of the table nervously.
Ugong: You, he said in a much lower tone. You are the woman. You should do all the housework.
Maldang: And what do you do? You tie your carabao to the reeds in the field and then you lie
down to watch them graze, you call that hard work. I cook, I clean, I wash your clothes. I do all
the work that only slaves should do and yet youre here complaining about washing the dishes.
Narrator: Ka Maldangs voice was now raised to a high pitch and her tears poised on her eyelids
ready to purr down.
Maldang: She looked at Ka Ugong and her broom. She grabbed the broom. She raised the
broom to strike him, crying, you, you lazy man!
Ugong: Ka Ugong ducked under the table. Dont! He cried. Dont strike me!
Maldang: Come out from under the table, you coward, ordered Ka Maldang.
Ugong: Lay down your broom, said Ka Ugong.
Maldang: All right, all right. Come out. Ka Maldang put her broom behind the door.
Ugong: Ka Ugong returned to his seat opposite her at the table.
Maldang: What have you to say? Asked Ka Maldang, wiping her eyes.
Ugong: Lets stop quarreling over the plates. Let us have a wager. The first one of us who will
speak after I have said the word begin will wash the dishes. Always.
Maldang: Only that? Asked Ka Maldang. The first one who talks will wash the dishes, always?
Ugong: Right, said Ka Ugong. If you even say just one word to me, or to anybody, or to anything,
after I had said begin, you will always wash the dishes. 00
Maldang: Thats easy. I can keep my mouth shut even for a week. You cannot. You even talk to
your carabao.
Ugong: All right. Are you ready? Asked Ka Ugong.
Narrator: Ka Maldang sat upright in front of him across the table. She nodded her head,
compressed her lips, and Ka Ugong said,
Ugong: Begin!
Narrator: They both fell silent. They sat at the table looking at each other across the unwashed
plates and bowls and spoons. They did not like to leave each other for fear that one would talk to
himself without others hearing. They sat there just staring. Soon the cat began to mew its food.
Neither Ka Maldang nor Ka Ugong paid any attention to its mewing. The cat jumped upon the
drying dishes to lick the left-overs. Ka Maldang did not drive it away, neither did Ka Ugong. The
cat licked the plates, jumped to the stove to lick the pot and pan on it. Over turned a kettle. Ka
Ugong pretended that nothing happened. He continued to sit still, and so did Ka Maldang. Soon it
was getting late in the afternoon but they went on sitting mutely at the lunch table. Their eyes
were tired down staring hard at each other. Tears began to roll down their cheeks. Ka Ugongs
shirt became damp with his sweat. Ka Maldangs sweat gathered on her forehead, and trickled
down to the sides of her face, and fell drop by drop to her breast.
SCENE 2
Cast: Ugong, Maldang, Neighbor, Man 1, Man 2, Woman 1 (Neighbors/extras)
Props: Ladder, ax
Set:
Neighbor: A neighbor called, Compadre Ugong Oh, Compadre.
Narrator: Ka Ugong did not answer.
Neighbor: The neighbor called again, Compadre Maldang! Yoo-hoo! Comadre Maldang! Yoo-
hoo Compadre Ugong, May I borrow your ax?
Narrator: Ka Ugong did not answer. Ka Ugong looked at her silently.
Neighbor: Perhaps nobody is home.
Narrator: They heard the neighbor say to himself.
Neighbor: But why did they leave their ladder at the door? They usually remove the ladder
when they go away. Well, I will just go up, get the ax and return it later. The neighbor went up.
When the neighbor went up the bamboo ladder he was surprised to see Ka Maldang and Ka
Ugong sitting silently at the table where plates had dried up with left-overs. He hurried towards
them. What happened to you Compadre, what happened? He asked Ka Ugong.
Narrator: Ka Ugong neither moved nor talked.
Neighbor: The neighbor repeated his question: What happened to you Compadre? He shook
Ka Ugongs shoulders.
Narrator: Ka Ugong let him shake him, closing his lips lighter.
Neighbor: The neighbor turned to Ka Maldang. Speak Comadre what happened? He shook her
shoulders, too.
Narrator: She pushed him roughly aside but did not speak.
Neighbor: Did you eat something poisonous? Some food that has made you dumb? He shook
each one alternately. But still neither stood up nor talked.
Narrator: The neighbor was alarmed. He did not get the ax but ran out of the house to the rest
of the neighbors. He told them that something terrible had happened to his Comadre Maldang
and Compadre Ugong. The neighbors gathered at Ka Maldangs dining room.
Man 1: They took turns trying to make them speak.
Man 2: But the two continued to sit staring at each other in silence.
Woman 1: Ka Maldang looked at her husband threateningly for a moment then closed her eyes.
Narrator: Ka Ugong knew that she did so to avoid at the neighbors.
Neighbor: He also closed his eyes and ignored everyone who had come up to his house.
Narrator: Ka Maldang was very angry with her Compadres interference but she dared not
speak her mind. She pretended to be asleep.
Neighbor: The Compadre was very much worried. He ran to the village herb-man.
SCENE 3
Cast: Ugong, Maldang, Herb-Man, Man 1, Man 2, Woman 1, Woman 2, Woman 3
(Neighbors/extras)
Props: Herb-mans bag, Herbs/Leaves, areca nut, lime from a tiny bone; Coffins, broom
Set:
Narrator: The herb-man came to the village.
Herb-man: and when he saw the motionless, silent husband and wife sitting at the table, he
declared that they were bewitched. He asked his assistants to spread a woven bud mat in the
sala and asked the bewitched couple lie down.
Man 1: Ka Ugong obediently lay down and closed his eyes.
Woman 2: He curled up and went to sleep.
Man 2: But Ka Maldang refused to get up from where she sat at the dining table.
Herb-man: The herb-man said, ah, the spirit which has taken possession of her is very stubborn.
I must break its spell.
Narrator: He then produced from a small bag which he always carried,
Woman 2: nine pieces of betel leaf,
Woman 3: a piece of areca nut,
Woman 1: a little lime from a tiny bone.
Herb-man: He examined the leaves closely to choose those which had veins running in identical
arrangements on each side of them midrib.
Neighbor: He cut the nut into nine pieces.*
Man 2: He spread a little lime on each betel leaf, rolled them*
Man 1: and wrapped them around each piece of areca nut.*
ALL: He now had nine rings of the leaves.
Herb-man: This represents the lost spirit of the couple, he said. He chewed the leaf and nut.
Woman 1: When he had chewed it,
Neighbor: He spat on his palm,
Herb-man: dipped a forefinger of the other hand into the nut-colored saliva and marked with it
across on the forehead of Ka Ugong...*
Man 2: Ka Ugong did not seem to feel the old mans fingers on his forehead
Herb-man: and Ka Maldang.
Woman 3: Ka Maldang caught the mans finger and twisted it.
Narrator: The old herb doctor cried,
Herb-man: Aray!
Neighbor: and pulled back his hand
Herb-man: He moved toward Ka Ugong who was lying down, calling his name and slowly
several times, Come Ugong. Come back, Ugong!
THE MEN: Ka Ugong did not move or speak.
Herb-man: Come, Maldang...Come home to your body now...Come, Maldang, chanted the old
man.
THE WOMEN: Ka Maldang did not answer.
Narrator: Evening fell on the frightened village, frightened because the herb doctor said that
the spell might be cast on some other villagers besides Ka Ugong and Ka Maldang. He called to
the bewitched couple softly at first...
Herb-man: Come, Ugong...Come, Maldang...
Narrator: ...and then louder,
Herb-man: Come, Ugong... Come, Maldang...
ALL: But still they did not move.
Woman 2: Ka Maldang soon became tired so she reclined against the bamboo chair.
Narrator: The old herb-man said,
Herb-man: This is the first witchery of its kind that I have met here. By their silence I believe
that they are dead. Their spirits, driven away by the witch, have left their bodies. The only thing
to do now in order to keep their souls in peace and to prevent this witchcraft from spreading
among us is to bury them.
Narrator: The herb-man ordered some of the men to look for bamboos to make two coffins
immediately before the malady would go to them. In no time, the two coffins made of bamboos,
hurriedly tied together were finished.
(Coffins)
Woman 1: The women began to weep for Ka Maldang.
Woman 2: She leaned rigidly against the back of her chair,
Woman 3: and shut her lips tight.
Narrator: The herb-man asked the men gathered around to lift the couple into their coffins.
Herb-man: We shall bury them at sunrise. Some of us have to stay to keep the wake for the
dead, he said.
Narrator: The men easily lifted Ka Ugong and placed him inside his coffin. Surely, Ka Ugong said
to himself, he would win the wager. He would not be afraid of being buried. Why, he would just
get out of the grave when the neighbors were gone. He thought everything going on was great
fun and he was enjoying himself. How he would frighten them all when he returned from his
grave.
Herb-man: The herb-man approached Ka Maldang.
Narrator: Although her eyes were closed she had been listening to his directions she was afraid
that he would surely force her into her coffin if she did not tell him to go away. But she did not
like to talk. She hoped her husband would object to the mens lifting of her into the coffin. Surely,
Hugo will not let me buried tomorrow. I am afraid to sleep in that coffin tonight. No, I will not let
them lift me into it, she said to herself. But she did not hear Ka Ugong speak.
Woman 2: She opened her eyes just as the herb-man, aided by two other men (Man 1 and 2),
put his arms around her to lift her up from her chair.
Maldang: Ka Maldang pushed the men, go t1o her feet and shouted, you fools get out! Get out
of my house how dare you come here meddling with our lives!
Narrator: Ka Ugong leaped to his feet.
Ugong: He also shouted, you talked first! He jumped about clapping his hands and saying to the
astonished neighbors, she talked first. We have a wager. Now, she will always wash the dishes!
Ugong: but he ran out with his neighbors, still shouting happily and saying, I won. I knew I would
win! Now I will never wash the dishes.

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