Process Journal

Interpersonal skills project

Pimpatra Santapunt 5861108
 Goal Setting

How I set my goals:

Asking my self Whats an important wish that I want to
accomplish?

I am thinking of interpersonal skills that I know I need to improve in order to live

happily in this society where there are different kinds of people.

1. managing to work with people whom I dont want to be around (relationship

management & self-management)
2. managing myself to reduce anxiety when trying to speak
(self-awareness & self-management)

Predicting outcome (psychological method to achieve goals)

I think it would be easier to work with others in anywhere, schools or even

in workplace in the future. I think I would feel more comfortable and not
awkward, so that I could work professionally and improve my speaking skills
in order to be an effective speaker.

Identifying my internal obstacles

Im aware that I often get anxious when speaking to someone not so close to me
or when I got instantly excited. This is due to my anxiety in initiating conversation
and the fact that I normally think more than talk, so Im not familiar and
comfortable with speaking or answering question immediately.

My intolerance in associating with people whom I dont feel comfortable with is

quite low, so I always choose to not be with them or even talk. I normally have a
hard time trying to hide my emotions when I am angry or dissatisfied.
I choose to prevent conflict by ignoring those people instead of confronting them. 2
 Plans to improve :

After identifying my inner obstacles, come up with strategies to

achieve my goals by
- Researching ways to reduce anxiety when speaking and increase
intolerance in working with people whom I tend to have conflict
easily. (From reading articles, watching Youtube videos)
- Getting comments from people around me on these topic.
- Summarise tips to improve
- Try using it in real situation and record
- Reflect on each situation after applying the methods

What I got from researching :

For goal #1 and goal #2

I got a good tip from Mr.Dans emotional intelligence strategies sheet, which is
creating emotion vs.reason list. Emotion list is how you do act, reason list is how
you wish you act.

For goal #1
http://uk.businessinsider.com/how-deal-with-people-you-dont-like-2017-3
<<< this website offers me great tips to deal with people whom I dont like
- try and put a positive spin on what theyre saying
- smile and nod is a trick when youre getting pissed off by someone
- dont have to agree but should act polite
- get some breathing space if feeling getting worked up
- know that confrontation doesnt mean aggression
- let things go
- keep in mind dont let someone else limits your happiness

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For goal #2
https://introvertdear.com/news/the-science-behind-why-introverts-struggle-
to-speak/ <<< this website offers me a good explanation on why I get
anxious when trying to speak which helps me understand more about the
problem. Heres the tip for when I struggle to speak or answer (because
that question comes up in small talk )
- Be still and relax
- Be quiet for a moment. Dont rush
- Dont feel embarrassed

https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinapark/2015/03/30/an-introverts-
guide-to-small-talk-eight-painless-tips/#105b20d3574a <<< this website
offers me a good tip too!
- If you botched up a conversation or wish you hadnt said this or that, take
a few minutes to reflect and focus on your takeaway lesson for next time.
Then let it go

Comments from others :

- Pin said I dont look nervous at all when speaking or answering
questions in class. She said Im so good at hiding my emotions.
I thought my face may not show it much but inside I am quite
anxious
- Ping (my best friend from previous school) said although Im
good at suppressing my anger and not speak everything in my
mind, but still, my face and eyes show my emotion pretty
obviously.
- Gut said it doesnt look like a problem to me to be a little
anxious when speaking. She said I could gain more self-
confidence to fix this though.
- Bat said she could never tell if I was angry when working with
others. (shes in the same sport team as me)

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 Summarised tips:

For goal #1 For goal #2

- smile and nod - become quickly aware and relax
- let things go for a moment
- get some breathing space - dont feel embarrassed
- dont rush

Record :

For goal #1 (01/05/17)

Today I had to work in a sport team together with someone I dont really like.
There were many things she did that were inappropriate and disrespectful, but as a
team, I am aware that I had to let this conflict feeling go and work for the team.
When she said (or maybe command) me to do something, I didnt like it, but I just
nod and let it go. It worked, but when the game finished, I just went back to my
real self and acted like strangers to her. I ended up ignoring those people anyway.

For goal #2 (04/05/17)

One of my friends pulled a prank on me and I was alarmed and embarrassed. At
that moment I just shouted out the rude word I would never have used. My friend
was also surprised that I yelled that word to him. This was because I lost my self-
awareness at the moment. I took it as a lesson that I should become quickly aware
and relax for a bit before replying anything back.

For goal #1 (06/05/17)

Today I have some conflict with a member of my family. I was quite upset. All the
time I felt that, I was aware that I was angry and knew the reason of it. Still, I could
not calm myself down. I remembered the tips to smile and nod, so I did it and it
surprisingly, marginally changed my emotion. I felt a little better.

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For goal #2 (17/05/17)
Today I had a sudden presentation in class. Although I had written my script, it just
happened to be lost just before the class. I was pretty freaked out, but I remained
calm and became quickly aware that I needed to cover it up. This time I was
confident and remained relax, so I managed to speak loudly, clearly, and confidently.
I also quite surprised with myself. It was the first time I did not get anxious during
class presentation.

For goal #1 (18/05/17)

Today I needed to work with people whom I tended to have conflict with easily.
Although I personally didnt like what he did during the group work. I knew that I
couldnt just get angry on him. I took a breathing space a few minutes then trying to
ask him softly(try not to use an angry voice) to work properly. He did work though.

For goal #1 (19/05/17)

Today I needed to work with people whom I just recently had a negative feeling
towards. There was one time she argued with me and at first I almost raised my
voice and replied angrily, but suddenly I remembered to let things go, so I did not
reply her and choose to silent instead. Well, at least I didnt make it a big thing.
After I let my feelings go and breathe in a little, I calmed myself down.

For goal #2 (22/05/17)

Today I had a presentation two times in a row. For the first one, there were lots of
information I needed to present, which led to a blank or a pause at some point
because I sometimes forgot things to say. My anxiety increased after that, but as I
tried to be relax and not feeling embarrassed because the listeners were my
classmate, I quickly recovered everything.

For goal #2 (23/05/17)

Today I had my second interview and I was pretty shocked( by surprise) because
everything went sooo fast. I didnt even got the chance to pick up my phone and
record my interview(very regretful). I noticed that as i talked, I raised my voice up a
little due to my nervousness. However, I think I managed to answer pretty well with
loud voice (it seems confident). Even after the very fast interview, I was still shocked
by how everything went so fast. I even forgot all the tips.

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 Interview

Reflection on what I am before improving:

- I was able to control my self to not look nervous at the beginning.

- Some of the answers I said was stupid :/ They couldve been better. Its called word
retrieval. I was busying trying to find good words to answer, but I knew it was going
to take a long time, so I just randomly picked the answer from anything that just
came across my mind at the moment.
- When I started to elaborate things, I used my hand gestures. Dont know if it was too
much or not
- My eyes wandered across the room
- I think the way I look at the interviewer and the way I react along what she said was
good. It looked like I was calm and listening to what she said.

Plans to improve :

- Ask parents, friends, or teachers for feedback

- Research on what a good interview should be (from youtube videos ,articles, experts)
- Summarise what I should do to improve
- Practice
- Evaluate on each practice (do the tips work with me?)
- Record another interview.
- Reflect on my interview skills after attempting to improve

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 What I got from researching :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=VV1cMmCKxmY <<< this video
suggests me tips to use body language
during the interview. Heres the tips:
- Eye contact
- Lower tones of voice when getting
nervous and speaking to quickly
- No eyes up toward the ceiling (big
pause+eyes on the floor is okay)
- Drop shoulders back (gives off nice
presence)

Q1 Tell me about your self?

- education, where you grow up, personal interest
Q2 What are your strengths?
- My strongest trait is .. so I believe these are my strengths.
Q3 What are your weaknesses?
- I think Im too., (should show that I can identify my weakness and cover it up)

Comments from others :

- Ping (my best friend from previous school) said that I
may look a little nervous compared to when speaking
in Thai.
- My mother said I used too much of a hand gesture at
the beginning which made me look uncomfortable.
But after a few questions I sat more comfortably and
looked more relaxed. Also, she thinks I repeated a
question too many times. My answers were also too
ordinary, she said.
- Ms.Katie said Tonhom: good eye contact, posture
sitting scrunched (so sit up straight, maybe rest your
hands on desk to help with posture), seems pretty
confident, talks with hands somewhat but not really
distracting, asked for clarifying questions, seems very
smart

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 Summary of what I should improve :
- Take a little time to think (if need a big pause, eyes on floor NOT ceiling)
- Relax more, sit more comfortably (fix the posture)
- Less hand gestures
- Try not to repeat the question too often
- Prepare some answers so that I have something in mind to talk about

What I have done to improve(practice) :

- When face-timing with my aunt from the UK, I tried to make a good posture and set my
eyes on her or on the sides when thinking, not on the ceiling
- I tried to fix my posture whenever I sit with the table. I tried to practice sitting as if I am
interviewing.
- I practiced talking and answering question in front of the mirror.

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 Personal Statement

Tips to write a personal statement:

From Mr.Dans slide

- Explain what type of program / field you want to study and why
- Do some research
- Be clear and explicit
- Explain why are you a good fit for this program, what can you bring
to this program?
- Explain who you are as a person (focus on your strength)
- Be positive! (diction, tone)
- Dont call attention to your weakness, tell how you overcame it.
- Extra-curricular are great, but keep it relevant
- Explain your relevant skills (give concrete examples)
- Avoid the same old thing people would say
- Your plan after university
- Hows the program going to help you get your goal
- Dont sound scripted
- Give real examples, Be concise!
- Avoid cliches
- Get as much feedback as possible

What I got from researching :

After taking A-Levels for 2 years, Im planning to enter a UK university for a Linguistics
course. The university that Im planning to enter (for now) is the University of York.

I did a research and found that they have the tips for writing an SOP in their website.
https://www.york.ac.uk/media/study-new/undergraduate/applying/Personal-statement-
guidance.pdf

Heres what they said:

- Be specific and give examples, be selective of what to write
- Be clear about why youre applying to the course
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 - Give evidence of commitment beyond the curriculum (How do you stand out from
the crowd)
- Clear layout and development of ideas
- No mistakes in grammar or spelling
- Describe work experience if relevant to the course
- Mention any career plans
- For presentation, leave some white space by skipping a line between paragraphs
- Get feedback

Heres the example of a personal statement written by a student applying for a Linguistics
course in the UK. He got offers from many high-ranked universities.
>>> https://www.studential.com/personal-statement-examples/linguistics-personal-
statement-1

Outline :

1. Intro
- Who am I
- How and why Im interested in language
2. Body 1
- My passion in language (give example) *I plan to really express this well to
attract the professors who will read this that I am unique and really passionate in
this subject*
3. Body 2
- Extra-curricular activities, work experiences (things I do to further my knowledge)
4. Body 3
- Career plans

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 First draft :

I can definitely say that language is my affinity. The fact that I have learned English since I
was three along with Thai cultivates my deep connection with language. Since then that
connection has been motivating me to further its understanding in a further educational level,
leading to my interest in Linguistics, the one and only course I desire to master.

It started with a joy in learning English. English jolly phonics that I learned, which I come to
know later that it actually is phonetics, builds a strong foundation on my language skills.
I discovered later that understanding in English phonics led me to my passion in learning
other languages as well, for example, French, which I studied for a short period, Korean and
Japanese, that I surprisingly learned from watching cartoons and series. After that, it came
to my realisation that language is more than a communication tool. It is almost like a living
thing. It can always be developed, or dead. Languages have their own structures, meanings,
expressions and rules that I am always mesmerised by how they work.

With these ideas in mind, I always try to widen my knowledge to understand and experience
more in linguistics field. Since the second year during my high school year, I have used my
intelligence to earn some income through working as a freelance translator. This part-time
job gives me several valuable skills. In terms of linguistic knowledge, it is a great opportunity
to learn new vocabularies, idioms, and writing styles in particular topics that I never saw
before. Not only gaining more English language abilities, but also getting to practice my
brain to switch between English and Thai, which are linguistically different in various ways
such as syntax and semantics, in order to transform the source text into a comprehensible
and equivalent targeted language.

Studying linguistics in your program will provide me a clearer advanced comprehension of

this subject which I believe will be beneficial and practical in real life. For one thing, this area
of study is not well-known in Thailand as people still do not widely know how important and
helpful this subject is. But I do. I have learned jolly phonics since I was three years old, and
that linguistics knowledge really helps build basics of all four language skills.
Still, the majority of Thai children do not receive a chance to learn it properly, resulting in low
national English abilities. My little cousin also suffers from linguistic problem. He cannot
pronounce even his own language properly though he already passed the age of child
language development, and I cannot help him due to my lack of linguistics knowledge.
Although I still do not have enough information to make any firm decisions of what job i want
to do, these are reasons why I know that I will acquire linguistics to help others.

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 Comments from others :
- Pin said I should clarify more on the points of why I
have passion towards linguistics. This should be
explained more since not everyone will understand
me and this subject. She also points out some
grammar mistake. There is a brought-up idea that she
thinks is a good point, but it might be placed in a
wrong order. *I should be more specific*
- My mother said the first sentence is what she
impresses the most, but after reading everything, she
didnt get any impact. The writing is flat and not well-
supported of the first sentence. Theres no tension
building and the climax at all. She also helps me
organise my thoughts and adds outstanding points to
the essay.
- Punch said I should add my hobby that I like reading
books.

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 Final draft :

I can definitely say that language is my affinity. My mother told me that when I was very
little, there is one Thai children book that I love so much that I persistently asked her to
read for me everyday over and over again even before I can read. By listening,
assimilating and observing each words repeatedly, I was able to point the exact word
along when my mother was reading even before I was three. After getting a first
language learning input, I started learning English jolly phonics along with Thai, which
cultivates more of my deep connection with language. Since then that connection has
been motivating me to further its understanding in a higher educational level, leading to
my interest in Linguistics, the one and only course I desire to master.

It first started with just a joy in learning language. After I have learned English jolly
phonics, a child-centered approach to teach English literacy synthetic phonics to children
focusing on letter sounds, letter formation, blending, identifying sounds in words, and
tricky words, these skills build a strong foundation that enables me to read, pronounce,
and form a word easily and accurately at a young age. Since I was young, my friends
and teachers have always been saying that I have quite a British accent despite my zero
experience in living abroad apart from a one-time summer course in the UK. This really
differentiates my skills from other Thai students, which I am also surprised and doubt of
the outcome. Whats more, when I studied French for a short time, I was really fascinated
by how it is so similar to English but also unique and beautiful with its own features. The
word la porte means a door in French; in English there is a word portal which also
means a doorway. This discovery of this word relation mesmerises me by how language
derives and evolves from its ancestor. Since then, I have been yearning to understand
more of these ideas and I know that Linguistics holds a key to these answers.

Knowing that this subject needs a high language proficiency and fluency to comprehend,
I try to prepare myself and widen my knowledge to understand and experience more in
linguistics field. Apart from reading novels as a hobby, since the second year during my
high school year, I have used my intelligence to earn some income through working as a
freelance translator. This part-time job gives me several valuable skills. In terms of
linguistic knowledge, it is a great opportunity to learn new vocabularies, idioms, and
writing styles in particular topics that I never saw before. I get to practice my brain to
switch between English and Thai, which are linguistically different in various ways such
as syntax and semantics, in order to transform the source text into a comprehensible and
equivalent targeted language. Apart from knowledge I have perceived, working under
pressure of time, being responsible for the task given, communicating with clients, and
personal-branding are skills for life that I have learned which enhances my experiences
and prepares myself for my future career.

For one thing, Linguistics is not well-known in Thailand as people still do not widely know
how important and helpful this subject is. But I do. As I have experienced it myself, I
know that it really helps build a basic yet essential English abilities. Still, the majority of
Thai children do not receive a chance to learn it properly, resulting in low national English
abilities. My little cousin also suffers from linguistic problem. He cannot pronounce even
his own language properly though he already passed the age of child language
development, and I cannot help him due to my lack of linguistics knowledge. Although I
still do not have enough information to make any firm decisions of what job i want to do, I
bear in mind that I will acquire this knowledge to help others.

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 Reflection :

When I first knowing this assignment, I was pretty relaxed since I have written a personal
statement before, but as I wrote this, I knew that it would be hard for me to be satisfied
with what I wrote. I am a perfectionist and a fussy person when it comes to writing, so it is
not easy for me to write a good personal statement within this short period of time.
However, this assignment really helps me organise and collect my thoughts on why I have
so much passion on language and how that is a precursor to my interest in linguistics,
which are two relevant things that I was never able to explain well. Now I am feeling
thankful that I got to write this SOP.