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CHARACTERS
Liza
Pickering
Higgins
Mrs. Pearce
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*A note on the text. There are a few words and phrases deliberately in incorrect English, the mistakes Liza
makes while she is learning to speak correct English. They are in italics and underlined, marked like this.
TRACK 19
Scene 1
Buy a flower, lady
It is raining in London, at night. Various pedestrians have gathered under the portico of a West End
theatre, playing a famous musical. They are all peering out gloomily at the rain, except one man with
his back turned to the rest, who seems wholly preoccupied with a notebook in which he is writing
busily.
The Bystander rushes off into the rain but bumps into the Flower Girl on his way out.
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TRACK 20
An elderly gentleman rushes into shelter, and closes a dripping umbrella. He is very wet about the
ankles. He is in evening dress, with a light overcoat. The Flower Girl looks up in admiration at the
theatre signs and lights, and begins humming a show tune.
Pickering: Phew!
Liza: Oh no! I can only change five pounds. Oh please buy a flower. Take this for fifty pence. I can
sing a song for you too!
Pickering: Dont be annoying. (Trying his pockets) I really dont have any change
Liza: (She begins to sing a famous show tune. She has a nice voice, but insecure. The
Gentleman interrupts her after a couple of lines)
The man taking notes has started to laugh, at first quietly, and then quite loud.
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Pickering: (To Higgins) Really, sir. You should leave the poor Girl alone.
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Higgins: (He begins to sing the same show tune as the flower Girl, but with a beautiful resonant
voice) Thats better isnt it?
The Lady: Why didnt you say so before? Wasting our time She walks off.
Higgins: Oh yes. All actors want to have beautiful voices. I help them to talk and sing.
Higgins: You are making stupid noises. Remember that you talk the language of Shakespeare; and
dont sit there making horrible noises.
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Higgins: You speak horrible English! Well, in three months I could make that Girl the star in this musical
(Pointing at the theatre behind them. Liza looks up in wonder) Thats what I can do.
Higgins: Are you? Do you know Pickering, at the Canadian Musical Theatre Company?
Pickering: It is just around the corner, left at Trafalgar Square. Come with me now and lets talk.
Pickering: I really dont have any change. Im sorry (He goes away).
Liza: You are a horrible person! (Flinging the basket at his feet)
The church clock strikes the second quarter. Higgins feels a moment of remorse for his lack of
charity to the poor Girl. He throws a handful of money into her flower basket and follows Pickering.
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track 22
Wonderful world
Liza:
I want to leave this place
Im looking up at the stars
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track 23
Scene 2
A Big Job
Higgins house. He has recording equipment, microphones. Pickering is with him. They are listening
to many different voices saying the same sentence: The rain in Spain. Many of them sound exactly
the same.
Higgins: My hobby is to record peoples accents. You never know when you need to train an actor to
sound Australian!
Pickering: Incredible! I thought I was good. But you know so much more than me!
Higgins: (Mrs. Pearce, Higgins secretary enters) Hello Mrs. Pearce. Whats the matter?
Mrs. Pearce: (Hesitating, evidently confused) A young woman wants to see you, sir.
Mrs. Pearce: Well, she says youll be happy to see her. Shes quite a common Girl, sir. Very common. I
thought you wanted to record her accent. I hope Im not wrong; but you see such strange
people sometimes
Higgins: Oh, thats all right, Mrs. Pearce. Does she have an interesting accent?
Mrs. Pearce: Oh, its horrible, sir, really. I dont know how you can find it interesting.
Higgins: (To Pickering) Tell her to come in, Mrs. Pearce (He rushes across to his working table
and picks out a tape).
Mrs. Pearce: (Only half resigned to it) Very well, sir. If you say so (She goes).
Higgins: This is good luck. Ill show you how I record. I will tape her accent.
The flower Girl enters. She has a hat with three ostrich feathers, orange, sky-blue, and red. She has a
nearly clean apron, and the shoddy coat has been tidied a little.
Higgins: (Brusquely, recognizing her with unconcealed disappointment) Oh no! The flower Girl? I
dont like your voice and your accent is even worse. (To the Girl) Go away.
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Liza: Youre so rude! You dont know why Im here yet. (To Mrs. Pearce) Did you tell him I come in
a taxi?
Liza: He gives lessons: I heard him say so. Well, if my moneys not good enough I can go
somewhere else.
Liza: Good enough for you. Im here for lessons. And to pay for them too.
Higgins: Pickering: should we ask her to sit down or should we throw her out of the window?
Motionless, the two men stare at her from the other side of the room, amazed.
Mrs. Pearce: Dont be stupid! How can you pay Mr. Higgins?
Liza: Why not? I know what lessons cost; and Im ready to pay.
Pickering: Higgins: Im interested. What about that new musical? Teach her and Ill say youre the best
teacher alive. Ill bet you cant do it. And Ill pay for the lessons.
Higgins: (Tempted, looking at her) Its almost irresistible. Shes so horribly dirty
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Liza: (Protesting extremely) Heeeeeeey!!! Im not dirty: I washed my face and hands before
coming.
Higgins: Yes: in six months in three if she has a good ear Well start today: now! Yes, right now!
Take her away, Mrs. Pearce. If she doesnt obey you, send her away.
Liza: Heeeeeeey!
Mrs. Pearce: (Resolutely) You must be reasonable, Mr. Higgins: really you must. You cant treat people like
this.
Higgins: Yes, but you need to learn how to talk and behave like a lady before singing.
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Pickering: Say it, Miss Doolittle. You will understand. Do what he tells you; and let him teach you.
Higgins: (With the roar of a wounded lion) STOP! Listen to this, Pickering. This is the education we
pay money for. The result is Ayee, bayee, sayee... Eliza: say A. B. C. D.
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Higgins: Thats it. Pickering, we will make her a singer (To Liza). Next step: say Tea Not taye. If you
say beaye, or caeye or daeye again, you will go away immediately. (Fortissimo) T.T.T.T.
Liza: (Weeping) I cant hear the difference; it sounds better when you say it.
Pickering: No, no. Dont worry, Miss Doolittle: you are doing very well. I promise we wont send you
away.
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Higgins: Horrible! Horrible! There is an H at the beginning of that word! Pronounce it Girl!
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Liza: Orrible
Higgins: HHHHorrible!
Liza: Hoh
Higgins: HOHorrible!
Liza: Horrible
Liza: Hotel
Higgins: Hippopotamus!
Liza: Hippowassamus
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Higgins: There is no need! There is no need! The correct way to say it is there is no need. Aint is
completely incorrect English!
Higgins: I will make you speak perfect English first. Then you will sing. You are going to do everything I
say.
Pickering: You must listen to him, Liza. He may be rude, but you will learn a lot from him.
Higgins: Very well. Go with Mrs. Pearce, and practice this: keep your tongue well forward in your
mouth. Another lesson at half past four. Go away.
Mrs. Pearce: Mr. Higgins, we must talk. What is Liza going to do after the musical? You must think of the
future.
Pickering: Excuse me, Higgins. Mrs. Pearce is quite right. If this Girl is going to stay here for lessons,
she must understand what shes doing.
Higgins: Oh very well. Liza: you will spend the next six months living here. I will teach you to sing well,
but also to talk and to act like a lady. If youre good, you will sing in a new musical and be a
star. If youre naughty you will go back to the streets immediately. Is that clear?
Liza: (Rising reluctantly and suspiciously) Youre so cruel. You dont know how to treat people.
Im a good Girl
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Mrs. Pearce: Dont answer back. Come with me (She leads the way to the door, and holds it open for
Liza).
Liza: (As she goes out) Ive always been a good Girl; and I dont care; and I have feelings
Mrs. Pearce shuts the door; and Lizas complaints are no longer audible.
Liza: Look at me
I look like a lady
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They manipulate her like a puppet. During the following they dress her up in beautiful clothes.
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Scene 3
Moment of truth
Higgins: Now, Liza. Its not just a question of singing. You need to act like an important singer.
Liza: I understand.
Higgins: Im going to present you to the Director of the musical. We need to convince him you can sing
in the musical.
Higgins: He will like you, dont be stupid. Now, lets go and say hello.
One of the guests at the party enters. He is an important looking young man with an astonishing
hairy face. Recognizing Higgins, he opens his arms wide and approaches him enthusiastically.
Nepommuck: Maestro, maestro (He embraces Higgins and kisses him on both cheeks). Do you remember me?
Nepommuck: I am your student: your first student, your best and greatest student. I am little Nepommuck,
the marvellous boy. I have made you famous all over Europe. You cannot forget ME.
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Nepommuck: Im famous for my beard! They call me. The bearded singer! And now I train young people to
sing (He goes to stand with the Director).
Higgins: I dont know. I hope not. Well, Liza, are you ready?
Liza: Ready.
Higgins: Go.
At the top of the staircase the Director, with Nepommuck on her arm, are welcoming guest.
Liza: (With a beautiful gravity that awes her host) How do you do?
Liza: The shallow depression in the west of these islands is likely to move slowly in an easterly
direction. There are no indications of any great change in the barometrical situation.
Liza: What is wrong with that, young man? Im sure I got it right. So pleased to have met you. Good-
bye. (She shakes hands with Nepommuck).
Director: How do you do, Higgins? You have a rival here. He says he was your student. Is he good?
Director: You know very well. They tell me there has been nothing like her in London for an age.
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Director: Ah, here you are at last, Nepommuck. Who is Miss Doolittle?
Higgins: Why?
Nepommuck: Too perfectly. Can you show me any English woman who speaks English properly? Only
foreigners speak so well.
Director: I was scared by the way she said How do you do. I had a teacher who talked like that. But if
she is not English, then what is she?
Nepommuck: Spanish.
Nepommuck: Spanish.
Nepommuck: I did. She was very clever. She said Please speak to me in English: I do not understand
French. French! She pretends not to know the difference between Spanish and French.
Impossible: she knows both.
Director: Oh, no. Anyway, shes perfect for the musical. I will call her.
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The group breaks up, leaving Higgins isolated. Liza joins him.
Liza: I want to leave. The people all look at me. An old lady has told me that I speak exactly like
Queen Victoria. I have done my best; but its impossible.
Higgins: You were perfect! You acted like a star! Lets go, Its enough for today and I dont really like
these people
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Scene 4
Musical Star
Opening night of the musical. Outside the same theatre as the first scene, now there are signs for
Pygmalion, starring Eliza Doolittle. It is raining. Higgins and Pickering are standing, waiting for the
doors to open. There is a Girl selling flowers standing behind them.
Girl: Sir?
Pickering: I dont have any change, sorry (The Girl goes away, she looks cold).
Liza: Im so sorry.
Higgins: And practice the songs before you go on stage. (He hums a note, to warm Liza up. They both
hum the note. Then he hums a scale and she imitates it) Come inside! Its cold here. (They go
in. Liza stops and looks up at the poster and her name. The Girl comes up to her)
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Liza: No thanks. (She goes. The Girl looks sad, then looks up at the poster and realises who
Liza was)
Girl: Wooooow!! (Liza has come back, she looks at the Girl sadly. The Girl notices her)
Liza: Wait. (Liza has a pen and a paper. She signs it, and gives it to the Girl) Now turn it over.
(The Girl does)
Girl: Of course!
Transition to inside the theatre. The Girl watches the musical, amazed.
Liza: Everybody clap! (She tries to get the audience to clap the rhythm) One, two, three, four!
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I used to dream
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I used to dream
of being free
To sing and be all I could be
I am going to be a star!
Nothing else matters
I am going
to be a star!
Nothing else matters
Rising to the top.
But I wont
forget who I am
I am as I am
And nothing will change my soul
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Scene 5
Bye - Bye Sir
Midnight at Higgins house. Nobody in the room. Liza opens the door and is seen in a brilliant
evening dress, and diamonds, with fan, flowers, and all accessories. She is tired, pale, and her
expression is almost tragic. She sits down, brooding and silent. Higgins, in evening dress, comes
in. He takes off the hat and overcoat; throws them on the chair; and throws himself wearily into the
easy-chair at the hearth.
Eliza looks at him darkly; then leaves the room. She returns with a pair of large worn-out slippers. She
places them on the carpet before Higgins, and sits as before without a word.
Higgins: (Yawning again) What an evening! I cant believe we did that! (He raises his shoe to unlace
it, and catches sight of the slippers. He stops unlacing and looks at them as if they had
appeared there of their own accord). Oh! There they are!
Pickering: (Stretching himself) Well, Im tired. Its been a long day. But Eliza did it, eh?
Eliza flinches violently; but they take no notice of her; and she recovers herself and sits stonily as
before.
Pickering: Were you nervous at the theatre? I was. Eliza didnt seem nervous.
Higgins: Oh, she wasnt nervous. I knew shed do well. But I am bored of teaching her now, its been
too long.
Higgins: Good night. (Over his shoulder, at the door) Turn off the lights, Eliza; and tell Mrs. Pearce
not to make coffee for me in the morning: Ill have tea. (He goes out)
Eliza tries to control herself as she switches off the lights. By the time she gets there she is on the
point of screaming. Finally she throws herself furiously on the floor raging.
Higgins: (In despairing wrath outside) What have I done with my slippers? (He appears at the door).
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Liza: (Snatching up the slippers, and hurling them at him one after the other with all her
force) There are your slippers. And there. Take your slippers!
Higgins: How dare you! Whats the matter? Get up. Whats wrong?
Liza: Nothing wrong with YOU. Thats enough for you. I dont matter, I suppose.
Higgins: You! Whats wrong with you? Why did you throw those slippers at me?
Liza: Because you are the worst man in the world. Youre so selfish! Whats going to happen to
me?
Liza: You dont care. I know you dont care. Who cares If Im dead. Im nothing to you like them
slippers.
A pause. Eliza hopeless and crushed. Higgins a little uneasy. Pickering has entered, hearing the
shouts.
Higgins: (Good-humoured again) Its all over now. (He pats her kindly on the shoulder. She
writhes) Youve done it.
Liza: What do I do now? Where do I go? Whats going to happen to me? Should I go away?
Higgins: (Understanding, but not at all impressed) Why do you want to go away? You go to bed and
have a good rest.
Liza: (To Pickering, taking no apparent notice of Higgins) Will you forget about me now that the
experiment is over?
Liza: I have forgotten my own language, and can only speak yours. You only want me to stay to
pick up your slippers. Why should I stay?
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Liza: Youre not my teacher now. I want a little kindness. What I done (Correcting herself) what I
did was not for the money and the fame: I did it because I care for you.
Higgins: Well, of course. Thats just how I feel. And how Pickering feels. Eliza: dont be silly.
Liza: I am going and I will not see you again, Professor. Good bye. (She goes to the door)
Higgins: Good-bye. Oh, by the way, Eliza, tomorrow buy me ham and cheese, will you? And buy me
a tie to match that new suit. You can choose the colour (His cheerful, careless, vigorous
voice shows that he is incorrigible).
Liza: (Disdainfully) You have three new ties in the drawer. I have already told Mrs. Pearce to buy
the ham. I dont know what you will do without me (She sweeps out).
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Eliza
Higgins
& Pickering: She filled up our lives
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the end
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COLABORA CON:
haz
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Educando con el teatro
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