Escolar Documentos
Profissional Documentos
Cultura Documentos
WOMEN’S INTUITION
WHY YOU SHOULD
CULTIVATE YOURS
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gust 2010
T S Wise
Women
C O N T EAuN
(stories begin
on page 58)
In Every Issue:
14 Letter from the Editor 52 Women at Work 118 There She Goes
Gayle F. Robertson
16 She mail 122 Ask Dr. Avie
54 The World According to Avie J. Rainwater, III, PhD, ABPP
Rebecca Cannon
28 In His Own Words
124 Sheroes
Dr. Charles W. Gould 84 Purse Strings Dr. Tammy Pawloski
Linda H. Weatherford
34 She Wants to Know
86 Chicks of the Month 126 Mary Unmarried
Mary R. Dittman, MBA
36 Chick Lit All Saints’ Episcopal Day School
Michelle Densmore
102 And She Cooks,Too! 130 The Sir-Vey
42 She’s Closet
Wise Owl
104 Beauty Buzz
136 Wings for the Spirit
Sherry S. Page Atkinson
44-45 She’s Closet
Wise Women Who Inspired 114 Shop Talk 138 Who’s That Girl?
Fashion Trinity Collegiate School Blair Dean
46 She’s Closet 116 Wee She
Smart Shoe Kylie Davis
48 She Picks
Back to School
Contributing Writers:
22 Ferebe Gasque 40 Cookie Cawthon 120 Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC
And He Thinks I’m Wise A Word to the Unwise Using Wisdom
Then &
Now
(stories begin
on page 90)
We are
Melia Flowers Berry
She
Publisher/Editor
editor@shemagazine.com
Tuesday Taylor
General Manager
Advertising & Graphic Design
tuesday@shemagazine.com
Dresden Tucker
Director of Creative Design
dresden@shemagazine.com
98 Wendy Watford
She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the Pee Dee. She Magazine
Medical Experts: reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we deem inappropriate for the publication. Editorial con-
tributions are welcome and will be considered by the editor. Please include name, address and contact num-
ber (email editor@shemagazine.com). Letters to the Editor may require editing due to space limitations. The design,
100 J. Marshall Dent, III, MD editorial and photo content in She is copyright of She Magazine and may not be reproduced without writ-
Childhood Obesity & Self-Esteem ten permission by the publisher. She Magazine is a registered trademark.
14 7/23/10 4:40 PM Page 1
Wise
Women
My Grandmother Flowers died over a decade before I was born. Although I I think the companionship of WISE WOMEN is crucial in the life of any woman,
never had the blessing of knowing her personally, I’m sure she was indeed a very wise especially a young woman. I cannot imagine having raised my children without the wisdom
woman. My DaDa never stopped talking about the wisdom she bestowed upon him and experience that my mother shared with me. Before how-to baby books flooded
and others. the market, how did women have babies and raise their children without doing serious
Though Bessie Flowers never had much formal education, I’m told she spoke damage? By the passing down of knowledge from one wise woman to generation after
perfect grammar and would not tolerate anything less from her children. Recently, I generation, that’s how.
was given a copy of a memoir written by my aunt that included her recount of my Today, even though my children are grown, I still rely on my mother’s wisdom
grandmother’s wisdom. In it, she wrote about how her mother would take her for for so many things. So often when cooking, I pick up the phone to ask how long this
walks in the woods and tell her about different plants and their medicinal qualities. should cook or if she thinks the three-day-old meat in my fridge is safe to eat. Now
Grandma Flowers was part Native American Indian, and she had a wealth of knowledge that the She Magazine office is in Florence, I call her to chat during my commute to and
about natural treatments that was handed down from her own mother. from work, and I use that time to seek her wisdom on the things going on in my life. I
She raised eight children during the Great Depression; yet, to hear my daddy cannot help but think how much better off women all would be if they would turn off
talk about the way they were taken care of, you would have never known they wanted Oprah and call their moms (or any other wise woman).
for anything. My DaDa contributed the good health he enjoyed into his nineties to the The wisdom of a woman can be made manifest in various forms, I believe. One
healthy diet he had as a child. Grandma Bessie was industrial and resourceful, and I cannot woman’s wisdom might be contributed to life experiences, while another’s wisdom
help but feel that she would have been disappointed in me, as I all-too-often take the might be learned. However, I think that, as women, we all possess a unique quality that
easy road, which does not always include home-cooked meals for my family. is women’s intuition. And, if tapped into, that intuition can be a source of great wisdom.
I have always been drawn to WISE WOMEN. When I was a little girl, we had For more on that, read Ouida Page’s article, “Using Wisdom: Women’s Intuition and
an elderly neighbor, Ms. Collins. At that time, I thought she was about 175-years-old, Discernment.”
but now I know that she was in her late eighties. During the summers, she would sit I recently read an article in a psychology journal in which women’s intuition
outside under a tree in her little chair. She was very tall and thin, and she always wore was referred to as “a sixth sense.” It suggested that “those who study such behaviors
a plain cotton dress – or frock as she called it – with an apron over it and an old- and phenomena” acknowledge that women’s intuition does exist. But, we already knew
fashioned bonnet. It was one like the ladies on Little House on the Prairie wore. that, didn’t we? Perhaps it’s part of the way that God equipped us so that we could
Once, I ran up behind Ms. Collins and startled her, which resulted in her shaking better take care of our children and others, as we are natural-born caregivers. As
the long stick she used as a walking cane at me and threatening to use it on my women, we are able to feel or perceive things from our surroundings and have dis-
“behind.” I was so scared that my little eight-year-old legs ran as fast as they could cernment on a level that seems to be quite unique to our gender.
home without looking back. After that, I was afraid of her; but, still, I was drawn to her This issue of She is called WISE WOMEN. It’s a celebration of smart women
and couldn’t wait to go visit with her as she sat in her little spot beneath the shade tree. everywhere. Since August is the back-to-school month, it seemed very fitting to include
Ms. Collins was a Christian and loved to talk about God. She believed that women a number of our wise teachers from the Pee Dee. We also included a timely article
should not wear pants or cut their hair or wear makeup. And if you did, you would not by Dr. Avie Rainwater, as he answers a letter from a reader about school cliques.
go to Heaven. Her beliefs scared me because I wanted to go to Heaven, but I couldn’t Dr. Marshall Dent addresses another hot topic in “Childhood Obesity and Self-Esteem:
imagine not being able to wear shorts in the summer or makeup when I grew older. I Important Factors When a Child Is Trying to Fit In.” You may find these helpful as your
loved her stories and I knew that she was wise; however, according to my beliefs, her child embarks upon a new school year.
theology was off. Nevertheless, she was full of the love of God, and she believed in I hope you enjoy this issue . . . It’s a (wise) woman thing!
always doing what was right, never telling a lie and turning the other cheek.
Now, as a grown woman, I recognize the wealth of wisdom that older women
have, and I am grateful that God has continued to place those WISE WOMEN in my
path – my mother and grandmothers, friends and mentors.
melia flowers berry
15 7/23/10 9:38 AM Page 1
Available Exclusively at
1608 Second Loop Rd. • 8 4 3 - 6 7 6 - 2 7 0 8
Mon-Fri: 10am-6pm • Sat: 10am-2pm • Closed Sunday
She: mail
Dear She,
I love July’s “Wee She”
featuring my daughter, Maddy. I’ve
read it over and over again, and I
cry every time!
May God bless She
Magazine! Please continue the
great work you all do.
Elizabeth Burns Boyle, Florence,
Casablanca
Alfred Angelo
Jordan
Mori Lee
18 7/23/10 3:54 PM Page 1
AUGUST 2010
1. Avie J. Rainwater, III, Ph.D., ABPP A Senior Partner of LifeCare
Psychology Group, LLC, Dr. Avie J. Rainwater is the only Triple-Boarded Psychologist
in SC, holding Specialty Certification in Clinical Psychology and Sub-Specialty
Designations in both Biofeedback and Pain Management. He and his wife of 31 years,
Contributors
Karen, have three children together. Chelsea, Seth and Josh.
3. Melodie Griffin is a Hartsville native who is proud to call the state of SC her
home. She resides in the Midlands now with her husband, 3 children and 2 Westies.
You can learn more about Melodie at www.melodiegriffin.com.
5. Cookie Cawthon is wild about her family. She totally digs serving as a
greeter at NewSpring Church every week, and she flat out loves reading, writing,
speaking, teaching, and blogging www.cookiecawthon.com.
7 8 9 10
6. Jumana Swindler is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod
Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings, are RV'ing,
movies,Theater, fishing, reading and spending time with her son and family.
10. Paige Self Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey, and two Sheltie
children,Timmy and Buddy. Together, Paige and Joey have seven grown children. She works
part-time as Business Administrator for the Francis Marion University Center for the Child
and is a Licensed Realtor with Prudential Segars in Florence.
17 18 19
11. Mary Dittman, MBA, is an Instructor of Marketing and Director of the
Internship Program in the School of Business at Francis Marion University. She
consults for a variety of local and regional companies and is actively involved in the
Florence community. Her column “Mary Unmarried” is now a reader favorite. Artist Spotlight
17. Peggy Thibodeau is a self-taught, recycled folk artist living in Myrtle Beach.
12. Erika Chapman loves her husband, Mark & living in Florence. Her passions Raised on a horse farm in Pennsylvania, she is a wilderness girl at heart.When asked
include raising her three boys, serving as a KidSpring Volunteer at NewSpring Church and about her artist’s statement, her only reply is, “Oh, just whatever pleases. I hope my work
reading just about anything she can get her hands on. is open - like the wide open spaces of my youth. If one of my paintings makes someone
laugh or smile, then I’m happy! Her studio is in her little red barn. It is there that she “fol-
lows her bliss” by taking old things and giving them new life with her trash-to-treasure
technique.
13. Cheri Jordan is a Florence resident and has been married to her husband, Peggy once read about message sprawled on a Paris sidewalk that said, "The
Robert, for eleven years. She is a stay-at-home mom to four children, Abbi, Luke,
city of Paris is full of beautiful mysteries, and you are one of them." Peggy couldn’t forget
Savannah and Matthew.
that message and began to think how wonderful it would be to spread love and joy by
writing beautiful messages on sidewalks with chalk. That idea has evolved into the words she
14. Allison Marie Chandler is a senior at Francis Marion University, often includes on her art, and is the reason she calls herself “The Sidewalk Chalk Prophet.”
She is on the board of the Waccamaw Arts and Crafts Guild. She lives with her
majoring in English-Liberal Arts with a minor in Mass Communications. She’ll husband and eighteen-year-old daughter in a home filled with laughter. More of her work
graduate in May 2011. Allison was born in Florence, and graduated from West can be seen at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach and at peggyart.com.
16
Florence High School. Along with being a full-time student at FMU, she enjoys
working as a waitress and writing for She Magazine. 23.
18. Ricki Ford is a photographer out of marion who says, “ Photography is an art to
me and I want every image that I take to be timeless. His work is featured in various
15. Aron Cannon Smith and her husband, Collin, live in Florence. They have a
son, Makgill (6) and a daughter, Clara Beth (3). photo shoots in this issue and more can be seen online at www.rickiford.com.
19. Collin Smith A portrait and wedding photographer based out of Florence, Collin
16. Allie Atkinson is a French Teacher at Marion High School. She lives in launched the $100 Portrait Project that donates 50% of its revenue to the Children’s Miracle
Marion with her husband, Philip, and daughter, Abbie. She Magazine is thrilled by Allie’s Network & stays in the Florence area. In this issue, look for Collin’s work throughout this
return as a contributing writer. She has been missed.
month’s issue. He is also the man behind the beautiful photos in the CYNTHIA ads. View
his work at www.cmsmithportraits.com.
19 7/23/10 10:49 AM Page 1
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and, he
Thinks
I’M
Wise
by ferebe gasque
GARY SAYS I’M WISE.Of course, he also says I’m beautiful and funny My best friend, Beth, is
and sweet and talented and, well, you get the picture. I say he’s biased. But, I love very wise. She is able to give me
hearing all those things anyway. He’s promised me he’ll pamper me for the next advice in areas where I can’t be quite
eighty years. I’m looking forward to that. so objective. She makes thoughtful,
I don’t feel wise most of the time. I have my moments, but they are few and solid recommendations; but, she doesn’t
far between. The Bible says if we lack wisdom, we should ask God for it (James 1:5). force them on me. She doesn’t feel like
I think most of us have the asking part down pat. It’s just the listening for (and fol- she’s wise. But, she is. Come to think of it, I don’t
lowing up with) the answers that causes the problem. know any wise people who think they are wise.
I’ve known of lots of wise women. In biblical times, there seemed to be I’ve known other wise women. I’m wise enough
plenty of them. Sarah and Ruth and Esther in the Old Testament… Mary and Dorcas not to try to list all of them. Some of those women have been
and even women whose names were never revealed in the New Testament. Closer close friends. Some of them I’ve only read about. Yet others have been those with
to our lives were women like Ann Frank and Corrie ten Boom and Ethel Waters and, whom I’ve only had fleeting contact. All of them have several things in common.
frankly, some of the wives of famous men who (in my opinion) were much wiser than The wise women I have known listened more than they talked. I know,
their famous husbands. Yes, there have been wise men, too, but men only get spot- teachers have to talk a lot… that’s what they’re paid to do. And, the others certainly
lighted in June in this magazine (sorry, guys!). haven’t been mute. But, their wisdom didn’t often come through the planned rhetoric.
Then, there have been wise women I have known “in the flesh.” I can The wise women I have known have all had caring, giving spirits. Some of
remember school teachers who made a major impact on my life. Three who imme- them have been able to give materially and financially, but others have not. All of
diately come to mind were at McKenzie School. My first and fourth grade teachers, them have freely given of themselves.
Mrs. McElveen and Mrs. Long, are now in Heaven with those other wise women The wise women who have impacted my life have had close, personal rela-
from history. I still get to see my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Bernice Hubbard, at tionships with God. They have sought His wisdom and guidance in almost every step
church every Sunday. Wise, loving, caring, longsuffering… I still have lots of respect along the way. They’ve all been human. They’ve all made poor choices at one time
for school teachers. But, I think back in those days, when resources were few and or another. But, they’ve all maintained that close contact with the Father of all wisdom.
salaries were really meager, teachers had to be more creative and even more dedi- He has honored their prayers and their lives.
cated to their calling than is true today. Those three women made an indelible I suppose the wisest thing I’ve ever done is to listen to them… and to Him.
impact on my life and were influential in the lives of many others. My prayer is that as I move ahead on my journey I will continue to listen. That I will
My Aunt Ferebe (we called her “Sister”) was wise. She was a woman ahead be more consistent in my follow-through. That I will concentrate on those things
of her time. She worked to finance her way through Coker College, graduating in instead of on past mistakes and missteps.
1931. Back then, there were no student loan programs. After graduation, she took By the way, I have recently made one very wise decision. I have said “Yes”
a train to New York City where she earned her masters degree in social work. She to the sweetest man God ever created. It was He who introduced us thirty-four
was a leader in her field for many years. But, her formal education was not what years ago. It was He who reconnected us last year. It is He who is guiding our steps
made her wise. together into the future. Gary and I know that our lives are in His hands. We are
My mom was the wisest woman I ever knew. She was not highly educated. praying that we will be wise in our decisions each step of the way. We realize that
She graduated from Lamar High School, but she never pursued formal education few people are given the opportunity we have been given to start out fresh at this
after that. She once confessed to me that she didn’t even particularly like school. point in our lives. We want to do it right.
She was very smart in spite of that. But, her brain capabilities did not make her wise. Maybe Gary’s right… maybe I am a just a little bit wise after all!
Ferebe Gasque is honored to be Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House. She has fun having Pampered Chef kitchen shows.
She enjoys teaching private music students. And, she is having way too much fun showing off her new engagement ring!
23 7/23/10 11:45 AM Page 1
Handbags
Totes
Bookbags
Lunchboxes
& much more
class is in
Claire Lawson
is bringing her
style to Clemson
this Fall.
Photos by Collin M. Smith
session!
By Marti Miller
the belt at some point down the road of life. Perhaps a for any woman of the Bible – even Mary. Okay, maybe When considering this month’s wise women
wise woman could choose to free her spirit and capture not Mary. Or Ruth. But life happens. Mistakes are made. topic, several names came to mind – some famous and
her creativity by hanging her art on her walls instead? And wisdom often flows from mistakes, if we survive some only headliners in their own families or circles of
And then there’s the gypsy woman…whether them. Knowledge can be helpful, but it’s those mistakes friends. But they all seemed to share certain traits in
by style (think long skirts, hoop earrings, and gauzy from which we gather the more lasting flowers of wis- common.They are women of great faith, patience (most
blouses?) or by adventurous spirit (no roots, no ties, dom. Hmm, mistakes can become wisdom fertilizer - of them!), hope, humor, inner beauty and outer calm.
and no home). Their style and wandering ways can be unless we fail to cultivate it. If it just sits there unused, Without exception, they have provided incredible wis-
inspirational to some or detrimental to others attempts a mistake will remain just a stinky pile of, well, life dom of thought and have made those colossal mistakes
to become wise women. Experience can be a wonder- manure. It won’t fertilize anything but the foulness of and learned from them. Not only so, they have become
ful teacher, especially when the lessons are learned the the air. wiser by sharing the lessons they have learned with
hard way? From Proverbs 31 comes the description of “A other women, like me, who have so very much more to
But, of course, there are some who consider Wife of Noble Character”, including the following vers- learn before taking on the earned title of Wise Woman.
themselves to be wise women and are far from it. es – whether married, single, widowed, engaged or dis- Be we gypsies, tramp-stamped, or wear no sleeves, may
Gypsies, tramps, and sleeves, you say? How about the engaged of men – these are words for the wise woman. we all live and learn and pass it on. Our daughters are
writer of this article who fashions herself a discerner of watching us.Thankfully, both shining examples and shud-
wise and unwise? She has just committed the kind of She is clothed with strength and dignity; dering errors combine to create a world of much wiser
egregious error mentioned in paragraph one (the one she can laugh at the days to come. women.
she herself wrote just moments ago).Who is she (me?) She speaks with wisdom,
to judge whether gypsies, tramp stamps or sleeves are and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
wise or unwise choices? She is not allowed. She begs She watches over the affairs of her household Marti Miller lives and works in Marion County,
the readers’ forgiveness. And will now attempt to and does not eat the bread of idleness. SC. She attends Mullins First Baptist Church and
redeem herself by moving quickly back to the topic of Revelation Church in Marion. If she were a wiser
woman, she might be able to choose just one to
call home. But for now, she remains a fence-sitter
(or a gypsy?)
27 7/23/10 9:44 AM Page 1
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PRESIDENT OF FLORENCE-DARLINGTON TECHNICAL COLLEGE
W hen I graduated from college, my first employment was teaching Sociology in a high school in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
I knew before that first school year had ended that I wanted to teach and be involved with education.
The enthusiasm of the students was very contagious. However, the Principal of the school was probably one of the indi-
viduals who did more to teach me about teaching and managing than anyone else I have ever worked for. She was a professional,
through and through, and took a real interest in new teachers. All of that combined helped me to make up my mind that teaching
was what I wanted to do with my career.
Growing up, I was fairly apathetic about school. My family was Roman Catholic, so I was always (with a few brief exceptions)
in a Catholic school where the discipline was harsh but the educational foundations were solid. I was a very average student
and didn’t really get excited about learning until I went to college.
My career path has always been education. The one time I left education was to become an Editor for a national
educational publication, but that only lasted three years. Then, I went back to graduate school in order to obtain another
position in education.
I had been in the Technical College system in South Carolina for approximately fifteen years and was ready to
move up the career ladder. I was the Executive Vice President at Technical College of the Lowcountry in Beaufort, SC, when
the opportunity in Florence to become President of Florence-Darlington Technical College became available.
There are several
aspects that I like most
about my job. First, I “Education is extremely important to individuals and
enjoy helping to create
opportunities for peo- to our community as a whole. Quite simply, if we do
ple who want to
improve their skills
not have a sophisticated, trained workforce, we are
and who want more going to lose out in economic development.”
education. Second, I enjoy
the role that the college plays Education is extremely important to individuals and to
in the economic development of our region, i.e. helping our community as a whole. Quite simply, if we do not have a
businesses locate in the Pee Dee that will provide sophisticated, trained workforce, we are going to lose out in
employment options for our citizens. Third, I enjoy work- economic development. It used to be that quality of life was
ing with the board, the staff and the faculty at Florence- number one or two on an economic development prospect’s list
Darlington Technical College. They are a dedicated group when they looked for a new location. Now, workforce issues are
of individuals who put in 110% effort to make this college the number one or number two items on their lists. Not only
uniquely successful. is the education important to get into the job market, continu-
The lack of financial resources is one of the tough- ing education is absolutely essential for keeping that job or mov-
est challenges. I want to create more programs that will ing into a job with more responsibility.
serve students. I want to compensate the faculty and Approximately 65% to 70% of our students are
staff for their hard work, and I want to build or improve women and that has remained fairly constant for the last ten
facilities that will improve the instructional environ- years. What has changed is that more and more women are
ment. Much of this takes financial resources and very entering fields that were predominately male populated. The
long-term planning. And that is a difficult responsibility in barriers women encountered in the workforce ten years ago are
this day and time. quickly disappearing. On the flipside of that, more and more
In the past ten years, education has changed in many men are entering fields that were predominately female populat-
areas. Education, at least post-secondary education, has ed, like nursing. This means that the competition for jobs is get-
become an expensive item. The technical colleges continue ting keener and keener all the time. The entire world of work is
to be a low-cost, high-quality option for students, and the changing in a fashion that distinctions between male-focused and
colleges play an important role in making post-secondary female-focused work sectors is no long applicable. This provides
education affordable and attainable. In addition, the world of many new opportunities for women in those jobs, as well as for
work has radically changed in the last ten years in that many the jobs that are being created and do not presently exist. Jobs
(almost 79% of the new jobs created) require post-secondary are skill focused, not gender focused.
education – but less than four years. The technical colleges play The most exciting thing Florence-Darlington Technical
a very important role in creating and preparing a modern work- College has to offer is opportunity, opportunity, opportunity!
force. Lastly, education in the last ten years has begun to reflect And the opportunities that FDTC offers translate into meaning-
the changes in lifestyles that people have and are maintaining. ful careers with decent compensation and unparalleled futures.
Speed and timeliness are critical and change is not a luxury. More and more companies are coming to us with intern and co-
Those traits and having education delivered within the sphere of op opportunities for students because they know our FDTC
one’s lifestyle and time requirements have forced colleges to students are serious about learning and they can add value to
rethink how they deliver instruction. The technical colleges have their workforces. And I’m very excited to be a part of all that.
become particularly adaptable to those changes in lifestyles.
A native of Southern Florida, Dr. Charles W. Gould has been in South Carolina for the last thirty-two years. He currently resides in Florence.
He received a Bachelor’s Degree from St. John Vianney College Seminary in Boynton Beach, Florida; a Master’s Degree in Mathematical
Logic from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee; and his Ph.D. from Duke University with a Specialty in Law and Ethics.
29 7/23/10 3:33 PM Page 1
Tune In
Very few people will admit it.
or Tone Up!
But lots of us do IT - because it's got to be the ultimate pleasure.
Don't try to read ahead. IT isn't immoral, illegal or extravagant. IT is….loving to sing out loud even when you can't carry
a tune in a bucket or out of one - like me.
Ever notice how many of us are out there enjoying tunes and melodies, even humming to commercial jingles, while gro-
cery shopping or walking the dog? Or, are you the one chuckling in the passing car when you spot folks like us belting
out songs on the way to work, singing to ourselves like loons and obviously off-key. More people hear my toneless
outbursts when the weather's nice - I drive my convertible with the top down and shamelessly crow out the lead
parts from my favorite Broadway CD's. I can even sing in "British" style with my Mama Mia recording.
It's an eye-opener to count the number of us who are plagued by the disease of singingstarapho-
bia. That's the sickness that pervades one's mind and deludes the tone deaf into believing that
they too can imitate the vocal greatness of Celine Dion or Faith Hill (both at the same time.)
For years, I thought I was a loser, an outcast from the masses of people gifted with golden
vocal cords. Secretly, however, I was one of them - in the shower at night, or in my room, using
my hairbrush as a mike, I surpassed them all in singing talent. Barbara Streisand, Tina Turner or
Gary Puckett, I sang with the best of them - and still do.
Music is a thrill, even to the tone deaf and the rhythmically awkward. Some of it's exciting,
some emotional and some just downright meaningless between the Bee Bops and Woo Woos.
But music does make an impact on our daily lives and loves. For instance, don't some
tunes pump through you like a shot of too much chocolate? Especially themes from the older
shows like Mission Impossible, Cheers or Hawaii 5-0. Rocky's "Eye of the Tiger" once caused me to
peel a wheelie out of the Food Lion parking lot.
Other songs, especially after a big tiff with a loved one, can be as big a downer as the break up,
sad songs help splinter broken hearts and love songs entice seeking singles into a more dedicated search for
Mr. or Mrs. Right.
And these days, if you can't remember the songs you can at least remember the group's or artist's
BY JUMANA SWINDLER
name because they are a bit odd like: Snoop Dogg, Lady Gaga, U2, Black Eyed Peas, and Eminem.What ever
SINCERELY YOURS
happened to easy and endearing names like The Mamas and The Papas or an easy single name like Cher?
But which are the songs everyone remembers because of their profound meaning,
depth and inspiration? We checked around. Feel free to sing along even if you can't carry a
tune but can stand the emotional impact.
Country ballads took top billing including the heartbreaker, "You Stole My Heart and
Stomped That Sucker Flat."
Bessie Smith's blue tune, "I'm Tired of Frying Pork Chops Just to Grease Your Fat Lips," also
came up several times.
Then there's the old one: "There's a Tear in My Beer," by Hank Williams Jr.
And, lest we not forget these favorites: "I got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back When I Cried
in My Sleep Over You," and "If You Want to Keep Your Beer Cold, Put It Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart."
No Kidding these are real - even though you might find it hard to believe songwriters could
have expressed themselves with such compassion.
There's Jimmy Dickens with "May the Blue Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, May Your
Wife be Plagued with Runners in Her Hose."
Romance numbers include: "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose its Flavor on the Bed Post at
Night" and the wisdom of Roger Miller with "Don't Roller Skate in the Buffalo Herd."
Religious songs got in on list with "Don't Kick Me Jesus Over the Goal Post of Life" and
a favorite Christmas melody, "Grandpa Got Run Over by a Reindeer."
The intellectual favorites include: "I like Bananas 'Cause They Have No Bones" and "I'm
Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate My Home."
Albert Collins put out this tune for romantic dinners, "Don't Go Reaching 'Cross My
Plate," to equal with "Thank God and Greyhound You're Gone" or "The Blues, the Pinks,
But One Thing's Sure, Love Stinks," by the J. Geiles Band.
"The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades" and Dr.West's Medicine Show
Junk Band's "The Eggplant That Ate Chicago," are perfect distractions on long trips.
And, then there's my favorite intimate melody that says, "Your Love
Songs Filled the Bucket That Had
Holes Dug From Tears."
How different are those lyrics
from the modern rap song I
heard recently, "La Dee Dee, it's so
nice to be me…., La Dee Doo…, So
glad I'm not you…. La La Loo Loo, Ha
Ha Hoo Hoo…."
So who care's about carrying a tune,
when the lyrics can be just as challenging or just as
bad? Come on everybody, just sing out - no one will notice these days. Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of
Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal
favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings, are RV'ing, movies,
theater, fishing, reading and spending time with her son and family.
31 7/23/10 9:46 AM Page 1
32-33 7/23/10 9:47 AM Page 2
vendors
wanted!
with
at the
Saturday Sept. 18th F l o r e n c e
C e n t e r
9am-5pm Civic
1 Lauren Tomlinson
- Florence
“I have been fortunate to have had many wonderful teachers; of them, it was Mrs.
Mary Glover who ignited my passion for English and literature. Her teaching meth-
ods, genuine enthusiasm for her profession and students, and her obvious personal connection to
the subject content was infectious; I wanted to be a teacher like her.When I was a gawky teenager
trying to identify my profession, she taught, cajoled, and encouraged me to keep writing and think-
ing about literature. For she is, in part, the reason I chose teaching as a profession. I wanted to
make a difference in someone’s life like she had made in mine.”
2 Ashley Meador
- Hartsville
“The teacher who influenced me the most was my EMERGE Teacher, Mrs. Carol
Bennett. EMERGE is a Program at Excelsior Middle School in Union, South Carolina, for gift-
ed and talented students. She taught me in fifth and sixth grades, and I will never forget the
genuine care she had for her students. She pushed us to learn materials we never
thought we could. And she did so with a smile! She helped us to love learning and made
school more than mandatory boredom. When I entered the Teacher Cadet Program in
high school, I had the opportunity to sit in on her classes. Nothing had changed! She
still gives everything she has to show students how much fun learning can be. And she
pushes students to be not only good students, but also good people in general.”
3 Shannon Franklin
- Hartsville
“Mary Ward Baucom was my third grade teacher at North Hartsville Elementary. She
has to be the one teacher that inspired me the most. I can still remember the les-
sons that she taught me as she literally danced around the classroom! She
made learning a very entertaining experience. I also remember her compas-
sion, as well. I was sitting in her classroom the day the Challenger exploded.
She watched in awe with us, and then told us that we had just witnessed some-
thing we would never forget. And she was so right. We also watched baby
chicks hatching from their eggs – and many more amazing moments. Not only
was I fortunate enough to have her as a teacher, my son was also in her class in the first
grade! She made the transition to a new school so easy for both of us. Mrs. B always has
a smile on her face and a hug waiting for a child who needs it.”
Jackie Williams
4 - Florence
“Margaret Norwood was my most influential teacher. She taught grades 10 - 12 at
McClenaghan High School. Mrs Norwood was the choral and church choir director and
was an inspiration in every way.”
35 7/23/10 9:49 AM Page 1
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A Word
from the
UNwise
by Cookie Cawthon
D
Don’t you love the irony in God’s economy? Here I sit to write on a day
when I feel most unwise. Most unqualified to speak at all. It’s been one of those
a baby elephant sat on my chest...
days where all the balls I kept in the air – by way of some mad juggling skills – came and now he weighs in as a
crashing down in swift succession. I missed one. And they all fell.
It begins innocently enough, right? Life presents a host of good opportu-
full-grown beast of burden.”
nities, and boy, am I a sucker for a good opportunity! A lake trip, a work trip. A
cookout here, a family gathering there. Swimming lessons. Art camp. Gymnastics And so begins the process of extricating myself from the elephant and
camp. Writing assignments. Teaching plans. A going-away party for our nephew. slowing and steering the loose locomotive. I can do it. I have before, but it will
An upcoming yard sale. A growing list of home repairs. An unfinished bedroom. require some difficult choices. I will have to significantly pare down my activity
Zoo trips and park trips and children’s museum trips. A call that our home secu- when I sincerely enjoy all that I do. I will make room for breathing and thinking
rity system has registered a burglar alarm and our side door is standing wide open again. For joy and worship and laughter and inspiration and imagination. And big,
– and we are two hundred miles from home. fat, generous love.
This morning I woke up in a hotel in Greenville, South Carolina, and knew I honestly don’t know where to begin. At this very moment I have no
that my life is running me. I am not running it. At some point in early summer a sense of what God will have me pursue and what He will have me eliminate, but I
baby elephant sat on my chest, and I didn’t even realize he was there. He has eaten am completely confident that He is initiating the process. I will begin with Him.
well – fed by everything I have added to my plate, and now he weighs in as a full- The Love of my life. And we’ll go from there. And I’ll pray earnestly for His guidance
grown beast of burden. I can scarcely draw a full breath. as I ask myself the following questions about the opportunities and obligations on
And somehow my elephant and I find ourselves aboard a runaway train. my plate:
What an adventure this summer is turning out to be! It is speeding recklessly • Do I sense that God is up to something here that He wants
along the track as I – pinned to the dirty floor of the car – watch the landscape me to be involved in?
whiz by in a blur of color. I feel powerless to stop it and unable to jump. • Is this an opportunity to serve my family in a way they will
Weighed down and out of control. By my own choosing. By my own interpret as love?
expectations. By my own desires to be and do it all. • Is this an opportunity to invest in someone who does not
This morning I woke up in a hotel in Greenville, South Carolina, and felt know Jesus?
like someone had beat me up. Perhaps my elephant put it on me while I slept. I • Is this a chance to serve a believer who is struggling and could
felt like my brain had been wrung like a soapy dishcloth. No thought remained, use encouragement?
only automatic responses. Primitive and natural responses. When I am so spent • Is this consistent with my gifts and passions?
mentally and spiritually and physically, there is no allowance for kindness and disci- • Does this contribute to my physical, mental, spiritual and/or
pline and patience and creativity. They require too much when the reservoir is emotional health?
depleted. There’s not even allowance for rational thought; it too is too expensive. So. I write this month as the non-example. The unwise woman. I cite Job
I leave water boiling on the stove; I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast. I for- 39:17 in my own defense,“…for God did not endow her with wisdom or give her
get to close and lock the side porch door before leaving for the Upstate. a share of good sense.” Though God is actually speaking of an ostrich in this verse
– contrasting her dimness against her speed, it feels particularly appropriate for me
today (though I am not at all fast). From my own folly, I realize and tout the wisdom
of reduction and elimination. And you can take that for what it’s worth from a
chick squashed by a pachyderm.
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Belk - Florence Purse-N-Alize It! - Florence Pretty In Pink - Florence
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E. Vera Bradley Pencils & Sharpener
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49 7/23/10 10:51 AM Page 1
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CO M I N G TH I S NOV EM BER .. .
Grand Jeté
A long horizontal jump, starting from one leg and landing on the
other. It is most often done forward and usually involves doing full leg
splits in mid-air. It consists basically of a grand écart with a moving
jump. The front leg brushes straight into the air, as opposed to
performing a dévelopé or "unfolding" motion. The back leg follows
making the splits in the air. It can be performed en avant (forward),
à la seconde (to the side), en arrière (backward), and en tournant
tratton (turning en dedans). The dancer must remember to hit the fullest
Jenerette Sing Arts Petite split at the height of the jump, with weight pushed slightly forward,
erform
National P ampion 20
10 giving the dancer a gliding appearance.
Gran Ch
d
Ten years before I retired, I began having numerous health problems. I suffered with recurrent sinus
infections, daily bodily aches and pains, brittle splitting fingernails, and I felt weak and tired because I was
unable to sleep at night. I was living on medications and not feeling any better. I even started to notice
household items such as detergents and things with fragrances would make me feel sick. After feeling so horrible,
I gave up and withdrew from friends and family. I just did not want to live in sickness anymore.
So at the recommendation of my daughter, I decided to go see a doctor that wasn’t going to just give me
more medications. She said that this doctor would check me for any underlying nutritional deficiencies that
might correlate with my health problems.
Dr. Porzio performed a nutritional exam and was able to zero in on a few deficiencies that my other
doctors didn’t find. And guess what? I am now feeling great. My hair and nails are stronger, my sensitivities to
fragrances and detergents have diminished, my bodily pains are gone, and I am no longer sad and fearful. My
Connie entire outlook on life has changed. I am full of energy and feel alive again. I not only found help from Dr. Brian,
Pierce, I also found Hope.
Age 72
Women at Work
Gayle F.
Robertson
A
As Community School Coordinator at Poynor Adult & Communication Gayle loves to create projects and watch them come to fruition. One such project
Education Center, Gayle Robertson plans all the community school courses, she hires was in the summer of 2009. She worked closely with the One Stop Program at
the instructors, maintains the Poynor website and designs and creates the school cat- Poynor, and they designed a summer program for displaced workers. All of their par-
alog. She also schedules rooms and anything else that needs to be done. ticipants made significant gains in reading and math by the end of the program. Many
Although she is beginning her third year at Poynor, she is a veteran of adult education. of the participants got GEDs and Work Keys Credentials and successfully entered the
Prior to her present position, she was the Academic Coordinator for Adult Education job market.
for four years. She left Poynor for three years before accepting her present job. For The most difficult thing about her job is finding the time she needs to do
two of those years, she was Assistant Principal at the Alternative School. For one year, everything that she needs to do. She admits that she could never do all she does
she taught at Florence-Darlington Technical College in a part-time position. However, without her Assistant, Loretta Bonaparte. Gayle says that Loretta knows how to
when she found out about the Community School Coordinator position being avail- keep her focused.
able at Poynor, she was excited about getting back into adult education. The successes that she sees in the people would be what she enjoys most
Education is important to Gayle on a personal level because she has always about her job. And she happily says that there are, indeed, so many success stories.
been involved in academics. She began her career as a Teacher after graduating from We asked Gayle if she would tell us about a success story that is special to her.
Winthrop University in Rock Hill, South Carolina, with majors in English and Gayle Robertson and her husband of forty-plus years, Tom, live in Florence.
Journalism and a minor in Spanish. She received her Master’s Degree in Special They have two grown sons, Kyle and Brennan. She has two dogs,Tygger, a Yorkie; and
Education after her children were in school and older. She has been a Teacher in pri- Habanero, a Havashu. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, cooking and spending time
vate and public schools and at Florence-Darlington Technical College. with friends. She also enjoys being creative with her job.
Gayle was Student Activities Coordinator at FDTC when the college was a
new institution. Her career path led her to a great deal of work with learning-disabled “One of my favorite stories is about an 87-year-old man. I saw him walking
children in the private and public sector. She was Headmistress at James F. Byrnes down the hall and asked him if I could help him. He said, ‘Lady, I’m 87, so
you’d better hurry and help me.’ He did not know how to read, and he had
Academy and, then, she returned to FDTC, where she was a counselor in a grant
promised his mother that he would be able to read a Bible verse before he
program. Eventually, she became a Program Director. When she left FDTC, she died. He told me he hoped he had not waited too late. I took him to the won-
went back to Poynor as Academic Coordinator and fell in love with the concept of derful Teachers in our Adult Basic Education (ABE) Lab, and they worked with
adult education. him. Eventually, the Teachers called me to the Lab and asked me to sit down.
This particular career allows her to respond to the importance of adult edu- The old gentleman came in and read a Bible verse for me.”
cation by sharing her love of education with the people she works with at Poynor. ~ Gayle F. Robertson
53 7/23/10 2:02 PM Page 1
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• A. Marinelli • Soft Spots
• La Plume • Naturalizer
• Onex • Helle Comfort
• BCB Girls • Tsubo
• Luichiny • Daniel Green
• Jessica Simpson • Poetic License
• Carlos Santana • Ros Hammerson
• Jeffery Cambell • And More!
• Jack Rogers
54 7/23/10 10:52 AM Page 1
Favorite Movie:
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Childhood Ambition:
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57 7/23/10 12:08 PM Page 1
AUGUST
WISE
WOMEN
A Woman’s
Intuition,
Common Sense,
Book Sense,
Just-Because-I
Am-A-Woman-
And-I-Know-
These-Things
Sense . . .
This month, we
celebrate
WISE WOMEN
of all degrees.
So, kick up
your feet, turn
the page and
get ready to
feel really proud
of your gender,
you smart
thing, you!
Feature stories begin on page 58.
58-59 7/23/10 3:38 PM Page 2
M. LeCarol Ford is the daughter of the late Mr. Boston Ford and Mrs. Martha Felder Ford. The second of nine children, she was born in Bishopville, South Carolina.
After graduating from Marion County Training School, Dr. Ford went on to receive numerous degrees from many different higher-education institutions. She has
received numerous recognitions and awards for exceptional work and concern for humankind. She serves on the Finance Committee of Higher Education Campus
Ministers at Bethel United Methodist Church. And, Dr. Ford somehow finds time to garden, study Spanish and piano, travel and go to exercise class.
58-59 7/23/10 3:38 PM Page 3
DR. FORD told us why she chose the teaching profession as her
career: “I wanted to go into military service after graduating from Marion County
Training School, but my father forbade it. So, I pursued another area of service, one
that was more acceptable to women – teaching. I went to Orangeburg with $40 to
register. I lived with a lady and did chores for her, which is how I earned my keep.
But what kept me going was my faith in God, which was ingrained in me by both of
my parents when I was very young. Other important ladies in my life encouraged and
supported my efforts, as well.”
When Dr. Ford recalls one of the major elements missing in classrooms
today, she tells us,“Parents need to realize that it is not the teacher’s job to raise their
children. But, the problem is that in far too many instances nowadays, the parents are
children themselves who have to be raised and taught themselves. That constitutes
no culpability on the teachers’ parts.”
Dr. Ford was such an inspirational educator and teacher. She told us why
she felt so strongly about her role in young people’s lives. “A teacher’s job is to facil-
itate the pupil’s growth in developing an invaluable skill: How to think. We also instill
computational skills, healthy habits, spur curiosity, help develop a capacity for moral
judgment with a sense of age-appropriate responsibility and mold our subjects into
participating members of our society. Learning should be relevant and students
should see themselves as belonging. But we all – not just teachers and students, but
all humankind – have and must answer to the high calling, albeit a difficult one at times
and not often blessed with success. We enjoy a chief blessing in that we have
the opportunity to try anew each day to answer that calling, which is to fill one
another’s life with either misery or joy; we can be tools of torture or instruments
of inspiration.”
Dr. Ford’s last teaching position was when she taught Math at Horry-
Georgetown Technical College and served as a Math Consultant for Coastal Carolina
University for five years. She served many years as an Evaluator for Secondary
Schools and Colleges for the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACS).
The highlight of Dr. Ford’s education, however, was being a Secondary
College Preparatory Mathematics Teacher (Chair of the Math Department for
many years) in Marion School District One, and Gary, Indiana, for thirty-four great,
great years.
During her teaching career, Dr. Ford only missed eight days of school, and
she missed only two summers of summer school. She took graduate courses during
the week and on Saturdays while teaching. It is very obvious that Dr. Ford was both
extremely dependable and professionally adequate in her career.
Even though Dr. Ford has spent more than three decades of stellar perform-
ance as a classroom teacher, she is much more than that. She is also a Mathematics Great Taste at
Major and Numbers Whiz!
Dr. Ford feels like she has been successful in life because of her hard-work-
ing, humble parents. They were both her Sheroes. They were God-fearing people and
a Great Price!
always tried to help others by words and deeds, regardless of the situation. During the
rockiest times in her life’s journey, Dr. Ford has always applied these words of wisdom
in which she learned from her wonderful parents (which is good advice for all):
• Remember your God and set goals for yourself. No goal, no glory!
• Obey all laws – local, state and national.
• Tax your nervous system as little as possible, and take good care of your body.
• Let your word be your bond, and be strictly honest in all dealings.
• Always be around the best people, intellectually and morally.
• Think three times before you act; and if you are in doubt, don’t act at all.
• Always be prompt and to-the-minute on your job.
• Read at every spare moment and think over and try to remember what you have read.
• Keep in mind that skill and integrity are the keys to success.
And, finally, Dr. Ford gives us one last bit of wisdom – one in which she
has surely held fast and nurtured in her own life: “Make each day of your life Now Serving
a masterpiece!” Alcoholic
Beverages
WISE WOMEN
W h itn
cranford
ey
by Allison M. Chandler
WHAT IS wisdom? show others that there is a way to solve problems and
Merriam-Webster defines overcome obstacles that does not involve drugs or alcohol.
wisdom as an earned knowledge She wants to teach others who are experiencing hardship
or insight. Wisdom, however, isn’t that they are not alone in the world.
just clear judgment. It’s the ability to Whitney’s faith is also extremely important to
take an undesirable situation and her. She attends Antioch Baptist Church and says she gave
somehow make it seem less undesirable. her life to Christ at the age of seven. Since then, she has
Wisdom is the ability to turn lemons into devoted her faith to God and her church and has used it as
lemonade, to move mountains that (to others) a source of comfort and inspiration throughout her jour-
seem unmovable and to part the seas of hardship in which ney. Whitney has shared her testimony at several
others drown. Wisdom comes from those experiences churches and hopes to be able to continue to share her
that test our fortitude and our faith. Wisdom comes in all wisdom with youth at other churches. She knows that
shapes and sizes, all ages and genders and is applicable without her faith, she could not have accomplished what
across all gaps and boundaries. she has because she wouldn’t have had the strength to
Whitney Cranford well knows the power of wise overcome the obstacles thrown her way.
thinking and has spent the last twenty-five years of her life Nevertheless, she very candidly admits that she
parting seas, moving mountains and making lemonade. does not always feel thankful for the situation God has cho-
Born premature at twenty-eight weeks, Whitney was sen for her and, if given the option to trade her situation
Whitney’s most poignant wisdom is this: “If you
expected to have certain obstacles to overcome, but nei- for another more desirable condition,she would in a heart-
want something in this life, then take the means necessary
ther her doctors nor her parents were prepared for the beat. She does, however, know that God has a special
to go get it. Don’t just sit back and wait for it to fall into
diagnosis she received. At six-months-old, she was diag- mission for her and trusts that He will show her the
your lap. It may take blood, sweat and tears to get it, but
nosed with mild Spastic Cerebral Palsy – a disease that has path down which He wants her to share her wisdom
it’s worth it!”
affected her balance and motor skills since infancy. Battling and strength.
So far,Whitney says she has accomplished every-
several surgeries, a bone infection and countless trips to Over the years,Whitney has received all kinds of
thing she wanted to – except one thing. Her current
the Physical Therapist throughout her childhood,Whitney advice and wisdom from others to help her persevere
Physical Therapist, Shane Valigora, has helped her achieve
has come out on the other side as a strong, successful through hard times. The advice she deems most wise,how-
almost total independence. She is filled with gratitude for
woman. She still attends physical therapy to keep her ever, is to always remember that God is in charge and that
his role in helping her “accomplish things she has waited so
motor skills and balance at their optimum performance, her life is not her own. Whitney finds comfort in knowing
long to do.” Whitney says that her lack of 100% independ-
but she says that her physical independence is get- that even in her darkest hours,and the dark hours that may
ence is what holds her back from meeting all her goals.
ting better each day. be on the horizon, that she will not be alone. This wisdom
With physical therapy, she has been able to meet the goal
Whitney has certainly not allowed her disability has allowed her to face her most difficult obstacles with
of transferring herself from her chair to her bed with
to hinder her success in anyway whatsoever. One of her strength and the knowledge that she will overcome them.
absolutely no help. She is independent in almost all areas
proudest accomplishments was earning her driver’s license. Whitney has also learned to live by the quote,
of her life except for being able to transfer herself from her
Gaining that much more independence three years ago “Just roll with it!” She interprets this to mean that what-
chair to all other surfaces such as the toilet or the couch.
freed Whitney in a way she had never before experienced. ever gets thrown in your way, you make the best of it, deal
Although she is incredibly thankful for the ability to meet
She graduated from Emmanuel Christian School with it and move on a stronger, better person than you
all of her basic needs on her own, she longs for the day
and went on to attend Coker College and earned a were before. She takes this advice with her everywhere
when she has reached total independence.
Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and Communications. she goes and remembers it when things get tough.
One day,she hopes to be able to move away from
Whitney didn’t stop there, however! She is currently Now that Whitney has victoriously come out on
home, get married and have children, while asserting the
attending graduate school, studying to gain a Master’s the other side of her disability, she has her own wisdom to
independence she has worked so hard to obtain.
Degree in Professional Counseling. Her hopes for her share with the world. She wants other women in situa-
Whitney will continue to share her wisdom with the
future include earning a Doctorate in Psychology and tions similar to hers to recognize the importance of the
world as she grows, learns and accomplishes her goals
working in a career where she can practice professional people with which they surround themselves. Sometimes,
– in spite of her disability.
counseling in the areas of drug and alcohol abuse, marriage people say things that get you down without meaning to,
Whitney’s parents, Kim and Brenda Cranford and
and family therapy, children and adolescent advocacy and so it’s important to always have an awesome support team.
her sister, Jaimie are very proud of her for the loving person
trauma. She wants to use the wisdom she has gained to She also wants others to know the power of prayer and to
she is and for all that she has accomplished.
trust in God through the good and the bad times.
Allison Marie Chandler is a senior at Francis Marion University, where she majors in English-Liberal Arts and minors in Mass Communications. She will graduate in May 2011.
She was born in Florence and graduated from West Florence High School. Along with being a full-time student at FMU, she works as a Waitress at Outback Steakhouse in Florence.
61 7/23/10 3:26 PM Page 1
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62-63 7/23/10 12:22 PM Page 2
WISE WOMEN
Gaydouglas
le As Told To She Magazine
GAYLE DOUGLAS Gayle decided to go back to school for her Another thing that is easier about going back
attended Spartanburg Methodist Master’s Degree, again, in part because of her best to school now than when she was younger is that she
College and Florence-Darlington friend, Beth. She decided to join the Master’s Program takes her studies more seriously. And she wants to do
Technical College right out of at the University of South Carolina because Beth was her best. At Coker, Gayle set her GPA goal for grad-
high school. Shortly after a huge Gamecock fan (as is Gayle). They both wanted uation at 3.5. However, with all the stress she went
graduating and receiving an to graduate from USC with their Master’s Degrees, so through with Beth and being a single mother, she grad-
Associate’s Degree in their plan was to graduate from Coker, take a year off uated with a 3.0. And, as she should be, she is very
Secretarial Science, she got and then go to USC for their Master’s Degrees. proud of that! “My goal for graduation from USC is a
married and started a career. For a little while after losing Beth, however, 4.0!” Gayle proclaims....
A few years later, she had her Gayle just didn’t have it in her to go back to school
first child. Everything seemed to be after Coker. But, as always, something in life comes
right on schedule. Continuing her along that can change your mind. Last year, she was
education wasn’t on the calendar any offered the opportunity to attend USC through a
time soon. scholarship with her job to get her Master’s Degree.
Actually, Gayle never really entertained the Gayle truly believes it was God’s plan that she finish what
idea of going back to school until her best friend, Beth Beth and she started. Her Degree is going to be in Early
Dalrymple Flynn, asked her to go back to school with Childhood Education and, although she has no plans to
her in the evening program at Coker College. After a teach, she does believe it will prepare her for future
lot of hesitation, Gayle reluctantly gave in and joined career options with the Department of Social Services.
Beth at Coker. Just as she did when attending Coker
In July 2002, Beth passed away unexpectedly, College, she had the full support and encouragement
devastating Gayle. She decided to leave school. But, of her children, parents, co-workers and lots of
after taking a semester off, she decided she had to go friends. Gayle’s children and family have seen her
back and graduate. Not only for herself, but also for struggle financially as a single mother for many years
Beth. Gayle graduated in 2005 with a Bachelor’s and understand how important it has been for her
Degree in Business Management. to take care of them. Therefore, they fully support
Gayle wishes to express,“It is very important her desire to obtain her Master’s Degree. They
for me to say that I could not have made it going back admire her for taking on such a challenge at this
to school full-time while working full time at the time in her life and have been so patient with the
Governor’s School if it had not been for the support time she’s had to spend studying or writing papers
of my parents and my children. I owe a big thanks to for class. In July, Gayle started her third course
my daughter, Denise, who stepped in as a second out of the thirteen required for
mama to her brothers.” the Master’s Program.
Gayle became a single mother in 2003. Going back to
Although she and her husband divorced, he continued school for anyone who
to play a big part in their children’s lives. For Gayle, is over the age of forty
becoming a single mother was bittersweet. It made is a huge challenge. One of the
her a much stronger individual than she ever thought hardest hurdles Gayle found was
possible. And “being a mama has been the most learning all over again how to study.
rewarding part” of her life. Her children and she depend But, she thinks the hardest thing
on each other for pretty much everything, and the love (especially as a single mother) is learning
they share is immeasurable. Of course,they have their ups how to juggle a family, a full-time job
and downs; nonetheless, they have been there for each and school – and do a good job at all
other through the good times and the hard times. Gayle three. She does admit, however, that
knows that she is truly a blessed mother to have three going back to school this time has been
wonderful children that she knows, without a doubt, will easier since her children are older and more
always be there for each other and for her. self-sufficient.
Gayle Douglas was born and raised and still lives in Hartsville. Her parents are Don and Frances McElveen, who have always played
an important part in her life and she feels blessed to still have them with her. She has three children: Denise (22) and 18-year-old
twin sons, Graham and Donald. Gayle is Senior Regulatory Specialist for Child Care Licensing with the Department of Social Services.
62-63 7/23/10 3:12 PM Page 3
TRINITY
“Gayle truly believes PRESBYTERIAN
it was God’s plan that presents
she finish what Beth it’s Third Annual
and she started.”
ALTHOUGH HER job can be very stressful and chal-
lenging, she can honestly say that she genuinely loves the career she has now.
She says that, hopefully, she’s making a difference for the children she serves.
She’s open to possible career changes within Child Care Licensing, where she
can make even more of a difference for the children that attend childcare facil-
ities in South Carolina.
Along with being excited about continuing her education, Gayle has
one more reason to be excited. Although she has been single since her chil-
dren were very young, for several years now, she has had the support of a great
man from Columbia – Sam Alexander. On July 2nd, Sam proposed to Gayle.
Her answer? A resounding, “Yes!”
Congratulations to Gayle and Sam!
Travis Cottrell
In conclusion, Gayle wishes to personally address the readers.
“I would like to say to the many woman reading this article that have thought
about going back to school but think you’re too old or that don’t have what it
takes, etc., etc., etc. – you are wrong! I know it’s cliché, but if I can do it, anyone
can! I’ve had to overcome some pretty big obstacles along the way, but that’s what
makes it even more rewarding. Yes, I must admit that it’s a big challenge, but I
must also tell you about the high I get each time I get an ‘A’ on a paper or a test.
It lets me know that with some genuine effort and discipline, anything is possible.
Even at my age! I’ve always been proud of my children in everything they tried.
Now, they’re proud of me!” ~ Gayle
TRINITY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
1015 S. Ebenezer Rd., Florence, SC
WISE WOMEN
Coupon
Kcatoe
eri by Ferebe Gasque
MONEY MANAGEMENT In her classes, Keri gives very detailed informa-
is not one of my talents. I do it pretty well when I’m tion about how to be most productive in your search for
at the bottom of the funds and I have to juggle and get the perfect shopping trip (spending less than $1 for an
creative. But, in general, my talents lie in other areas. entire week’s groceries). She is very specific about stores
So, when I was given the opportunity to interview and different kinds of coupons. She talks about coupon
Coupon Keri and attend a couple of her classes, I thought guilt. Yes, there are some people who won’t use coupons
it would be wise to take advantage of the situation. because they feel they’re cheating their local merchants.
Keri Catoe is a stay-at-home mom of a very Have no fear, if you’ve ever read the fine print on a coupon Collin M. Smith Photography
active four-year-old son. For awhile, she had a very (I actually have done that in the past), you’ll discover that
profitable internet business. However, as the recession the store is reimbursed by the manufacturer with a small
grew and expanded, her business went in the other bonus for each coupon submitted (there’s that marketing put “We Love Coupon Keri” on their sign outside. She
direction. Keri’s husband, Jonathan, lovingly suggested thing again). So, think of it as supporting your local has also been interviewed on local television. Now is
that she either find a way to make money or a way to merchants instead. definitely the time to get to know Keri and attend
save money. She looked into several options and then Keri’s classes are entitled “Seek and Save.” some of her classes before she becomes an interna-
discovered the wonderful world of couponing. Not only has couponing become a way to save money tional celebrity! There are folks who attend all of her
Coupons have been around for years. They for her family, it has also become a ministry for her. classes in hopes of soaking in new and helpful informa-
appear in lots of places. Sometimes they come in the Her classes are fast-paced and informative. She is not tion, which Keri is excited to share. She is not selfish
mail and sometimes in the Sunday newspaper (at least only thrifty in her shopping but she is very respectful in her money-saving efforts.
they’re supposed to be inserted in the paper). of your time when you come to her classes. She starts While not giving out lots of her secrets out-
Sometimes they’re attached to a product to encourage on time and she ends on time. There are handouts which side of class, Keri would like She Magazine readers to
you to try something else. From the manufacturer’s include all the information presented and she is very gra- know about “All You” magazine. It contains lots of
perspective, coupons are a marketing tool. From the cious in explaining the information to those who don’t coupons and other opportunities to be good stewards
couponer’s point of view, they are free cash. For folks have very much experience in this new adventure. of our resources. She joined the All You Consumer
like Keri, they present a challenge. Hmmmm…. how Most of us will never be as effective in our Panel and got the outfit you see her wearing for
much can I get for the least amount of money spent… shopping as is Keri. What she does takes time and free! Keri is also the exclusive Blog writer for
We’ve all seen pictures of displays captioned planning and more patience than many of us possess. www.afullcup.com (also known as AFC), an online
“look how much I got for $15.37” or some such However, her diligence makes our shopping lives easier. forum with over 2.7 MILLION dollars in savings so far
amount. These are usually posted by folks who have On her website (www.couponkeri.com) are lists of from its members this year (and that is only the ones
discovered couponing. Keri’s goal is never to spend stores (mostly grocery stores and drug stores) with that keep track of their savings!).
over fifty dollars per week at the grocery store (not their current sales. Also listed are coupons that can be For more information on Coupon Keri and
many coupons yet for meat and fresh veggies) and used along with the sale items to make the products even the valuable services she offers, check out
never more than $1 (you read it right – ONE DOLLAR) at less expensive. There are even links to some of the www.couponkeri.com.
Walgreens or CVS. Lest you think this is impossible, coupons, which you can print from your home computer.
Ferebe Gasque is Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, sells
attend one of her classes. This woman has shopping As an added perk, Keri has recently become a Pampered Chef kitchen tools, and teaches private music students.
down to a fine art! local celebrity. At least one drug store in Florence has She is also looking forward to saving a little money on her next
shopping trip with tips from Coupon Keri.
65 7/23/10 2:45 PM Page 1
WISE WOMEN
S ara
orlowski
Went Back to School at Forty
(as told to She Magazine)
EDUCATION HAS been a factor in one way or the other worth it! “The pride and self-fulfillment is something you will remember forever,”
for most of Sara Wells Orlowski’s life. She worked for the State of South Carolina she beams.
for twenty-six years. She was a Teacher’s Assistant for twelve years. After leaving Although she was terrified to go back to school at forty-years-old, Sara
the School District in Darlington County, she worked for the Department of remembers the other students being so kind and helpful. She actually ended up
Juvenile Justice for five years as an Intake Specialist. She left there and went to being like a mother to many of them. In addition, there were also many adults
work for Florence-Darlington Technical College as a Workforce Investment Act taking classes with her. She was also terrified because it had been a long time since
(WIA) Case Manager for five years. Today, she is back at “home” in the Darlington she was in school. It seemed like she had to work so much harder, so Sara always
County School District working as a Career Specialist at Hartsville High School. got such a sense of pride and accomplishment when she got a test back and the
And also, today, Sara can say that one of the most important rewards of education grade was an “A.” It was also nice to get a pat on the back from a professor or
came to her at forty-five-years-old – a college degree. classmate. For Sara, those were things that made going back to school so special.
Sara graduated from St. John’s High School in Darlington in 1969. Her par- Going back to school at forty also meant that some of the professors
ents planned for her to go straight to college after graduation. However, young were younger than she was. Some of them even reminded Sara of her own chil-
Sara had other plans. She decided to get married right after high school. She grad- dren. Another aspect that made her college journey different was that college life
uated in June and got married in September. Her parents offered to pay for her was so different from anything that she had ever experienced. She felt a part of
college even after she got married, but she wouldn’t have any part of that. Sara just something very special.
wanted to have children and raise a family. Going back to school was also very challenging for Sara in that she still
In her early adult life, she didn’t think about going to college. She was had to work and keep up with her family. Even though her children were in high
totally focused on raising her children. However, as life happened and the years school and college, there were still things she had to do as a mom and wife. There
came and went and her own children were making decisions to go to college, Sara was dinner to be prepared, laundry to do and shopping to be done – in addition
realized the importance of a college education. to studying for tests and writing papers. Sometimes, it was hard for her just to find
When it was time for her daughter to go off to the College of Charleston, time to rest and sleep.
a Representative from Coker College came to the school where Sara was work- Sara admits that she had many ups and downs. “It is not a bed of roses!”
ing to give them information on their program for adults, which would be held at she says. But, she knew that if she worked hard, she would fulfill her dream. She
night. That’s when she got serious and asked herself, “Why not?” Sara registered was adamant about not giving up. And she wasn’t going to let anyone tell her that
to start college at the same time her daughter began college. (She admits that once she couldn’t do it all. “A woman can do anything she sets her mind to do,” Sara
she got into her studies, she had to call her daughter many, many nights for help declares. ...
with her homework.) Sixty-year-old Sara Wells Orlowski is the Career Specialist at Hartsville High School.
Sara’s daughter graduated from the College of Charleston with a Degree She has three grown children and four grandchildren. Recently, she and her wonderful
husband, Bob Orlowski, celebrated their second wedding anniversary. In her spare
in Biology in four years. Sara went to school at night for five years and also worked time, Sara loves to garden with her husband, who is a Master Gardener. She also
two jobs for most of that time. She recalls that it was a hectic five years but so enjoys her workouts at Fitness World in Darlington.
66-67 7/23/10 2:49 PM Page 3
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do anything August is 33% Off Lamps
WISE WOMEN
Rentdill
ha
MAKING IT ALL ADD AT UP - FOR KIDS
AFTER WORKING with the youth group at St. Paul Rentha describes the Mathnasium process:
United Methodist Church for several years, Rentha Dill began to hear a con-
sistent message: Kids were not going into their desired college field because “Through an oral and written assessment, we are able to pinpoint accurately where
they were afraid of the math requirements. Or, simply, they hated the required a student is in their math development – what they know and what they don’t
math. That’s when she decided to leave her job as an Accountant and become know. Then, we are able to create a unique curriculum based on the individual’s
Lead Instructor at Mathnasium Tutoring Center in Florence. understanding level. Trained instructors teach concepts using multiple techniques
Rentha has been involved with homeschooling for the past six years, and then challenge the student to demonstrate the concept through problem
successfully directing the education of her daughter through her senior year. analyses and, more importantly, in more complex problem-solving material.
This experience has affirmed Rentha’s passion for teaching, with math being The students are encouraged by a caring staff of instructors and are motivated
her favorite subject. by a fun recognition program. The instructors provide assistance with current
Rentha explains that the vision at Mathnasium is for no child to limit material and homework as needed. At Mathnasium, we try to make math fun by
his career goals because of undeveloped math skills. Mathnasium is an inter- using some math games, unique incentive programs and celebrations of success.”
national franchise in sixteen countries focused on developing math skills and a
number sense that will provide a set of lifelong math tools. It is a math learn- Mathnasium allows Rentha to share her love of math with the youth
ing center that works with students from first through twelfth grade, focusing in the community. One of her essential goals is to strengthen the real signifi-
on identifying and correcting any gaps in his/her math development. cance of math in our world today.
Mathnasium’s concept? Rentha says that it is to make math make Rentha agrees with Stan Gudder’s outlook on Math: “The essence of
sense, regardless of age. The center provides a highly personalized, individual- mathematics is not to make simple things complicated, but to make complicated
ized program designed to develop skills to a mastery level, which creates a things simple.”*
higher confidence in math and overall learning.
Mathnasium’s mission is to develop unique problem solvers by teach- * (Stan Gudder is a John Evans Professor of Mathematics
ing students critical math skills in a way that makes sense to them. The at the University of Denver in Denver, Colorado.)
Mathnasium approach is designed to provide the younger students with the
basic skills and the older students with the breadth they need to pursue their
chosen career field. It is very flexible and individualized. More importantly, it
has a proven track record.
Rentha Dill graduated from Francis Marion University with a BBA in Accounting. She has held multiple positions in the Florence area banking community.
Her most recent position was Vice President in Accounting and Contract Administration.
69 7/23/10 10:00 AM Page 1
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WISE WOMEN
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WISE WOMEN
by Cheri Jordan
WHEN PAT Bradley During her years in Atlanta, Pat met a gentleman The next time someone asked her if she
was younger, she was determined named Ed Bradley, who was in town on a business trip. homeschooled, Pat took the time to ask questions for
to be a fashion designer. She was The two of them made an instant connection. They herself. “What exactly do you mean by homeschool?”
quite sure that was where the went out on a first date one February evening and saw “How do I find out more?” After looking into it, she
road of life was leading her, and each other only three more times before they married realized that she had been homeschooling all along
she spent her time focusing in August of that same year. I asked Pat if it was love at anyway. It was only natural at that point for her to
on that goal. And she eventual- first sight or if they were just crazy; to which she replied, continue. So, she found the alternative that she was
ly got to the end of the road; “A little of both!” Neither Pat nor Ed was a believer at looking for, and Casey began her kindergarten year
however, a few twists and turns the time of their marriage. However, after the birth of with her mom as teacher.
along the way led her down a their first child, Pat began seeking the Lord. “I couldn’t Pat loved teaching her children at home and
new path that she hadn’t quite be a good mom and live the kind of life I was living. I went into it with complete confidence. “I realized that
imagined for herself. She found knew it wasn’t right, and I began to try to be the kind it was about discipling my children, just as Jesus discipled
herself teaching in a classroom. of parent that Kasey needed me to be.” the twelve. He did this by spending time with them,
That classroom, however, was not In 1991, Pat dedicated her life to the Lord. Two and I was excited to spend that time with my children,
your typical classroom setting. years later, after the birth of their second child, Ed made training and discipling them.”
Sometimes, her teaching takes place the same decision and for many of the same reasons. Pat said that she was always a fairly confident
around the kitchen table. Other times, it might “Ultimately, it was our kids that led us to the Lord.” person and didn’t feel any apprehension about teach-
be nestled into the comfort of a couch. And on a real- Pat and Ed continued to grow in their faith, and ing her children. Over time, God took that confidence
ly nice day, you might find her teaching out in the yard. she enjoyed raising their two little ones. She found her- and molded it into faith. She began to learn that God
You see, Pat Bradley is a mother who homeschools her self teaching them often just through life experiences. knew exactly what her children needed and, if she
four children, Kasey, Chase, Keli and Caleb. Pat said that people would often ask her if she home- relied on Him, she was adequate to teach them.
Pat grew up in Huntington, West Virginia, and schooled her children. The idea of homeschooling was As Pat’s family grew to encompass four chil-
graduated from Huntington High School. She attend- not as popular at the time and she didn’t even under- dren, her faith in God and reliance on Him grew, as
ed college in the surrounding area and then trans- stand what it was. As the time grew closer for her old- well. She doesn’t claim to have wisdom of her own.
ferred to The Art School of London located in Atlanta, est child to enter school, though, she began to wonder She has learned that her wisdom comes from the
Georgia. It was in Atlanta that her career in fashion design more and more about what homeschooling was all Lord. One of the key verses for her life is James 1:5:
began to take off. She designed clothes for a few years and about. “I wasn’t ready to turn her over to someone else. “If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, Who
sold them to various shops around Atlanta. They would have more time each day with her than I gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will
would. I wanted my children with me,” Pat explains. be given to him.” ...
72-73 7/23/10 12:35 PM Page 3
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to be. “Only God knows what that is, and we are wise to seek His direction for
our children and families,” Pat explains.
While Pat has found homeschooling to be very rewarding, it has its
share of hurdles. With varying ages and learning styles, it can often be time con-
suming. “It was easier when they were younger, and we could work on some of
the same curriculum.”
This past year, however, Pat found herself with a freshman in college, a Where Quality Still Matters!
high school student, a junior high student and the youngest was in the elemen-
tary level. It required her to shuffle around. Pat admits, too, to being apprehen-
sive about the high school years. It was the unknown that scared her. How
would she teach Chemistry or Biology when she didn’t quite understand it all
herself? The answer to her worries, of course, was found in seeking wisdom
from God. She had to learn – again – that He had it all in His control. Pat has, Before
thus far, managed the high school years quite well.
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enting them, and we have sought God more on their behalf.” Homeschooling
has also given them more opportunities to travel and enjoy extra-curricular
activities that they might not otherwise be able to try.
Bringing Your Dreams
Many people that are considering homeschooling have wondered how
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dren that, as husband and wife, they have their own relationship that exists out-
side of children and homeschooling. It is a good model for their children to see,
as they will one day have relationships of their own.
I asked Pat what kind of wisdom she had to impart to any women out
there who are just beginning their homeschooling endeavors or to those that
are considering it.
She replied . . .
“I would ask myself what is my motivation for doing this? What is my goal?
I would tell them that the only way it is going to happen the way it is
supposed to is with the Lord. He will give you the wisdom that you need.
If He is directing it, it will be successful. Don’t try to be like some other
family. Be the unique family that God designed you to be.”
WISE WOMEN
Cheryl
allread
Judy
IT’S INTERESTING
&
that, for this WISE WOMAN issue, both
Cheryl Allread and Judy Wesley were
wesley
contacted about being in She. Both
women are top professionals in their
careers and are known throughout the Pee Dee
area for their extensive work and contributions in
education. Surprisingly, it was revealed that Cheryl
and Judy have been entwined since childhood. And, today,
they are dear friends and great co-workers. Although Judy went the
English route and Cheryl went the math route,they are so much alike
with their teaching and learning styles that they say “it is painful.” In 2004, Judy left that position, but the District contracted with her for special proj-
ects for the next couple years. Most recently, she worked for two years with the South
CHERYL says that it is amazing how she and Judy have been together since child- Carolina Department of Education as a Consultant in low-performing schools. She serves on
hood. Judy likes to tell everyone that Cheryl is older than she is since Cheryl graduated from Accreditation Teams, and she also proofreads reports for the Southern Association of Colleges
high school a year ahead of her. Judy doesn’t bother to share that their ages only differ by and Schools (SACS). She’s Secretary for Rural Area Leader Institute (RALI) Marion County (a
three months! They both attended the same schools in Horry County, graduating from Floyds non-profit organization designed to build leadership capacity in the county) and she supervis-
High School and heading to Campbell University their freshmen year of college. Although es student teachers at Francis Marion University. And, if that’s not enough, she is also involved
Cheryl decided to transfer to the University of South Carolina, their paths seemed to cross with a tutoring company called One-On-One Learning, which provides Supplemental
continuously. They both started their teaching careers in Mullins and ended their careers in Education Services (SES) to free- and reduced-lunch students at low-performing Title One
Marion.When Judy retired as a Marion High English teacher,Cheryl was searching for a Federal Schools. However, because of the increased interest in tutoring, they have now opened
Programs Coordinator. It was Judy that Cheryl turned to and persuaded to coordinate the an office on Main Street in Marion and will offer private tutoring in addition to the SES.
Federal Programs in Marion School District One. They want to target kindergarten through twelfth grades in reading and math, as well
Then, after retirement from the school system and beginning her work with One- as offer SAT/ACT tutoring.
On-One Learning, Cheryl immediately contacted Judy to join the team.
AS an Education Major at the University of South Carolina, Cheryl got her first job
BECAUSE Cheryl thoroughly enjoyed every day of school, becoming a teacher was in education in a summer program in Mullins School District Two as an Instructional Aide for
the obvious career for her. The atmospheres at Floyds Elementary and High School were so Mrs. Florence Foxworth. After graduation, she worked four years in Mullins before moving to
positive, and she had such respect for all her teachers, thus she knew she wanted a career that Marion School District One for the remainder of her thirty-six-year career in the public
would allow her to work in such an environment. No student anywhere could have had teach- schools of Marion County.
ers who were more encouraging. Cheryl was one who went to college with a determined During those forty years in the educational arena, Cheryl worked eleven
attitude to become a teacher. As she has so often said,“My teachers and coaches were some as Elementary Principal, eleven as Assistant Superintendent for Instruction and
of the first people to leave footprints on my heart.” seven years as Superintendent.
After her retirement in June 2006, Cheryl traveled to Greece for two weeks,
JUDY agrees that although the Floyds schools she attended were small and rural,stu-
returned home for two weeks and then started working part-time. For the past four years,
dents left there knowing they could hold their own anywhere. She can still remember help-
she has worked with the State Department of Education as a Liaison in Identified Schools. She
ing students from much larger high schools with research papers during her freshman year at
provides on-site instructional support, as well as services as Coach/Mentor to the Principal.
Campbell College in North Carolina. The teachers at Floyds had prepared her well. She want-
This has been a rewarding experience as they celebrate the student gains on the multitude of
ed to be able to do the same for her students.
accountability factors that now exists for schools.
She has always thrived on success and wanted to be the best teacher she could be. She felt it
was not what she knew, but what she did that helped her to be an effective teacher. “Learning IN the mid-1970’s, Marion One Superintendent, Frank Hart, invited Judy to partici-
can happen in isolation; teaching happens between people,” Judy asserts. pate on a Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACS) visit that he was chairing in
Judy’s goal was to be a high school teacher; she never had aspirations to be a Principal or Summerville, South Carolina. That visit was her first exposure to the accreditation process as
District Office Supervisor. She just wanted to teach,so that’s what she did for thirty-two years. She a team member.
loved the extracurricular activities, too. For several years, she coached tennis and the Academic After that visit with Mr. Hart, Judy continued to serve on teams occasionally. Then,
Challenge Team. One of her greatest honors was being named “Swamp Fox Fan of the Year.” once her schedule became more flexible, the State Director in South Carolina called on her
After teaching English in Marion County for thirty years,Judy retired (on paper) in 2000; more and more often. For the past five years, Judy has served on six to ten teams each year.
but, then she continued in the classroom for two more years. In 2002,she thought she was walk- In addition to visiting schools and districts in South Carolina, she has also served on teams in
ing away from Marion School District One, but she was wrong. Her dear friend, Cheryl, talked North Carolina, Georgia, Florida, New Orleans and even Ecuador. . . .
her into filling in as Director of Federal Programs and Testing at the District Office until they could
find a replacement.
74-75 7/23/10 2:22 PM Page 3
dents are officers in the military, ministers, principals of schools, teachers and superintend-
photos by Ricki Ford ents of school districts. One of her students recently sent her a copy of his application for
“Teacher of the Year” in his school, and he had mentioned the influence that Judy had on
him. How rewarding is that!
ONE of two “tangible” highlights of Cheryl’s career includes having Easterling School
named as “Palmetto’s Finest.” Serving as Principal of a high-performance school and having
the staff’s drive for quality recognized at the state level brought untold satisfaction to her
as an educator. The other highlight is the restoration of the old Marion High building for
use as the District Office. It was this intensely emotional project that taught Cheryl the
meaning of courage and the entitlement to dream of “what could be.”
As an Administrator for twenty-nine of her thirty-six years in public education, she
was sometimes asked why she left teaching. “I never did!” Cheryl exclaims. “Part of being
an effective administrator is to be a good teacher; part of being a good teacher is to be a
good leader.”
JUDY can’t really explain her reasons for retiring. Her thoughts were why would
she consider retiring from a job she loved? The year she retired is also the year her
mother died of a stroke. During the six months of her illness, Judy tried to be a good
teacher and a good daughter. She was concerned that she wasn’t doing a great job at
either. She had her thirty years in (required at that time), so she decided to retire.
Luckily, Cheryl convinced her to stay on at Marion High for another two years
as a “double dipper,” which was allowed because of the shortage of high school English
teachers at the time. Then, Judy worked for a few years at the District Office, but her
position there allowed her to be in the schools daily.
IN 2006, SACS merged with the North Central Association (NCA) to form Judy’s also not sure how her “retirement” has led to all the part-time jobs that
AdvancED, now the largest educational organization in the world. Accreditation is a voluntary she has. She knew that she would want to work some because she tried being a lady of
method of quality assurance and engages the entire school community in a continuous process leisure for a couple of weeks. The day she washed the lawnmower was a sign that she
of self-evaluation, reflection and improvement. Being accredited by AdvancED provides a dis- needed to find something a little more mentally stimulating to do. She guesses the work
tinctive mark of quality recognized internationally that affords external recognition of the ethic instilled in her as a child has given her a reputation of dependability because she does-
school's commitment to quality. n’t think she ever called anyone about a job; people started calling her.
ADVANCED had become increasingly concerned about the quality of the reports AFTER thirty-six years of giving it “my all,” Cheryl felt the time was right to tran-
done by the visiting Quality Assurance Teams. When teams submit the reports to AdvancED, sition to a new phase of her life. She has never known what it was to “just show up” for
they are assigned to one of the readers for editing. A couple years ago, Judy was asked to be work, shirk responsibilities or delegate every tough task. Working an average of seventy-
one of the “readers” for the reports. to eighty-hour weeks and feeling she was “on duty” at work and at home made her real-
AdvancED decided to make another change to ensure the quality of the reports and ize there were only two solutions. She needed for her days to contain more than twen-
decided to train thirty “lead evaluators.” The state office encouraged Cheryl and Judy to apply. ty-four hours or she needed to “hang it up” as Superintendent. Flexibility in time demands
They did but had little hope of being chosen, considering how many applicants there would be was her priority for the next phase of her professional career.
from across the nation. However, in mid-June, Cheryl and Judy heard that they were selected. Although Cheryl’s plans were not definite, she knew that she would continue in
some phase of education. Shortly after retirement and her summer travels, she was con-
AFTER Cheryl retired as Superintendent, Judy persuaded her to become more
tacted about several job opportunities. She quickly found herself with four commitments:
involved with SACS. She had done a few visits, but it’s really hard to have a full-time job and
Contracting with the State Department for consultant work,consulting with an education-
participate on these teams very often. Cheryl and Judy have been involved in school-level vis-
al company to conduct academic audits, working with SACS Accreditation Teams and serv-
its, as well as district visits during the past couple years. Because of the quality of their work,
ing as Coordinator of Supplemental Educational Services in after-school programs. Cheryl
they became Field Consultants for the South Carolina SACS office, meaning that they can pro-
knows that many would say she should have remained in the school setting, but the beau-
vide assistance to schools and districts preparing for SACS visits.
ty of the opportunities provided is the flexibility with each one. Within certain limits, she
Serving on the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACS) Accreditation
can “pick and choose” her hours and her days to work. She can spend time with family
Teams was another educational opportunity for Cheryl. In fact, her first encounter with the
and provide more support for her husband, who is suffering with congestive heart failure.
accreditation process came in 1975-76, the first year of total integration of the schools in
Marion District One. Some schools were closed, the system changed to a feeder system with DURING Cheryl’s forty years in education, she has learned that the best work-
the K-2, 3-5, 6-7, and 9-12 grade-level configurations, and staffs merged. No school in Marion ing environment is one in which people can work hard and disagree openly about profes-
One had ever been accredited. With Mr.Frank Hart as Superintendent the leaders decided that sional issues without taking things personally. Pulling this off successfully takes discipline
SACS Accreditation was the tool to move them forward in a unified direction. and the ability to know what’s personal and what’s not. But it also takes a conscious effort
Cheryl was asked to chair the school’s SACS Team. Although it seemed to be a daunt- to build and maintain closer, more personal relationships with those around you. Cheryl
ing task, she accepted the challenge and still, to this day, believes the SACS School Improvement is proud that this is what she and Judy have been able to do!
Process was the springboard for bringing staff and community together. When Judy is giving Cheryl “advice,” she always thinks about how much they both
loved their alma mater, Floyds High, and the awesome educators who were so instrumen-
THE tutoring (Supplemental Educational Services) is additional academic instruction
tal in their lives and their decision to become teachers. She also recalls how much they
provided for children of low-income families who attend schools that have not met the
love Marion and the children who have been a part of their educational system, how much
Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) for three years. No Child Left Behind (NCLB) Funds the after-
they love teaching and learning, how much they thrive on gains in student achievement and
school services in the identified schools, and parents choose their child’s tutors from a list of
just how much their “directive” leadership style is the same.Their future will be one with
providers who have been approved to offer tutoring. Cheryl is a member of the One-On-One
expansion of services to children and packing just as much into each week as they possi-
Learning Team, whose services will cover children in eight states for the 2010-11 school year.
bly can. Needless to say, they both “failed retirement.”
Cheryl is excited about having their South Carolina office in Marion for the upcoming year. To
add to the Swamp Fox scene, to provide free tutoring for children who might otherwise not FRIENDS and family members have asked both Cheryl and Judy why they don’t
have the opportunity for tutoring, and to continue her quest for being involved in teaching and relax and enjoy life. Their answer is that they are doing exactly what they enjoy. They can’t
learning in the Pee Dee area are just some of the many reasons Cheryl works with One-On- think of any activities that could bring them more joy than they get from their work with
One Learning. schools and young people.
In addition to the tutoring services funded by NCLB, they also offer private tutoring Cheryl and Judy both agree, “When our work is no longer fun, then we might
and SAT and ACT Prep classes. When a company is owned and operated by educators who have time to ‘do lunch’ with other retirees.”
lead by example, keep their eye on the kids and whether they’re learning and give the team
members the tools, authority and resources to get their jobs done effectively and efficiently, Cheryl Allread and her husband of thirty-four years, Ernest, live on the family farm in Marion County in the
Cheryl knows that she has chosen well for her “Golden Years.” home where he grew up. They have one daughter, Margaret Chase (27). Cheryl received her Bachelor’s and
Master’s Degrees from the University of South Carolina. She earned her Doctorate at Nova University.
JUDY’S rewards in her career are many! She can now choose her doctor, dentist,
Judy Wesley and her husband of twenty-seven years, Randy, live in Marion, along with their fifteen-year-old
accountant, lawyer – and even her undertaker – from students she has taught. Her former stu- Himalayan Cat, Boo. Judy graduated from Floyds High School in 1967 and Campbell College in 1970.
76-77 7/23/10 12:43 PM Page 2
Jillheiden
WISE WOMEN
WORLD TRAVELER
by Melia Flowers Berry
IT WAS a tour out of New York City with a Turkey, Luxembourg,Australia, New Zealand, the British Virgin Islands, the
group of girls from Jill Heiden’s summer camp that gave French Leeward Islands, Bermuda, Grenada, the American Virgin islands,
birth to what would be her lifelong love of traveling. All Canada, the “North Pole” in Greenland and the Galapagos Islands.”
the girls were sixteen and most knew each other very Impressive? Yes! Boastful? Definitely not. In fact, one thing
well. The trip began in New York City and proceeded that Jill made clear throughout our conversation is that she has never taken
on to Philadelphia; Washington, DC; Virginia; her gift of being able to travel lightly. She knows it is a tremendous gift;
Tennessee and, then, to Chicago, Illinois. but, even more so, she realizes that it is also a
Jill recalls the adventure, “I remember going wonderful blessing. And she never takes
to Pocatello, Idaho, which we all thought was very blessings for granted.
different and rather cool.” Jill has experienced much travel
The group spent a long time in California. From San through work-related trips; however,
Francisco, they traveled down a beautiful seventeen-mile her favorite travel is excursions with
stretch and stayed at the Hotel del Coronado, Southern family and friends. She feels that
California’s landmark Pacific resort where they made the Marilyn personal travel is the only way you
Monroe and Tony Curtis movie, Some Like It Hot. From there, they can get a real feel for cultures and
went all the way to Tijuana, Mexico, to see a real bull fight. Once they other things. When you’re travel-
got back into the United States, they took a train ride in cars with win- ing with someone that you enjoy
dows that allowed them to look out over the countryside through sharing the experience with,
Louisiana and, eventually, back to New York City. It was eight weeks of you get so much more out of
adventure and thrills that sixteen-year-old Jill would never forget. the adventure. With that
That amazing trip made Jill realize that there was so much being said, she shares a
more in life to see, so much to experience and to possibly help others. quote with me, “One
It opened her heart to a desire to learn and understand other people thing I have always said:
and cultures, other ways of life and the needs of others. She points out Where you go is
that “even in the United States, cultures are different than they are at important - but with
home in our own surroundings.” whom you go makes
Even today, with decades shading the memories of that sum- the trip - because
mer, the experience remains vivid in Jill’s mind. She explains, “What sharing and enjoying
sticks out most are the lifelong friendships that were made and the shar- is what life is all
ing of everything we experienced, the people we met and the absolutely about.” ...
beautiful country that God created for us to enjoy.”
Having traveled very little in my life, I was quite impressed with
Jill’s response to my question,“Where have your travels taken you since
that incredible summer’s journey?”
“To about half of the United States, Belgium, Holland, Italy,
Germany, France, England, Greece, Sicily, Denmark, Portugal, Spain,
Iceland, Switzerland, Sweden, Peru, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Mexico,
NOW ACCEPTING
STUDENTS!
For the 2010–2011 School Year
Born in New York City, Jill Heiden moved to New Jersey and
went to high school in Tenafly, New Jersey. Presently, she lives Providing Academic Excellence for Grades 3K-8
in Florence. She has three children: Sons, Adam Siegal (Robin),
TOP 10% in the Nation in Reading and Math
Christopher Siegal (Pat) Siegal; and daughter, Nicole Sodoma
(Ron). She has seven grandchildren: Arthur Rabon and Mae $1000 Welcome Family Discount (5K-8)
Margaret Siegal; Anna Elyse and twins, Natalie and Samuel
Siegal; and Bauer and Shepard Sodoma.
Jill is Vice President of Institutional Advancement at
Florence-Darlington Technical College. 843.662.1910 u www.sacssc.com
2536 Hoffmeyer Road u Florence, SC 29501
78-79 7/23/10 12:36 PM Page 2
WISE WOMEN WHEN I planned the theme for this issue, WISE
WOMEN, the first name that came to mind was Ms. Bobbie Croft. In
fact, it was almost as if the two thoughts came as a package deal.
Although I’ve only known this wise woman a little over ten years,
without a doubt, she is indeed wisdom personified.
I first met Ms. Bobbie when I joined Marion Baptist Church.
On first impression, I thought she was kind and her countenance was
very godly – this I gathered without even holding a conversation with
her. As I grew to know her intimately as a friend and spiritual mentor,
I realized that my initial perception of her was only the tip of the
depth of this petite woman with the strength of a mighty warrior.
I received a call from Ms. Bobbie in the summer of 2001 asking
if I would consider being on the Prayer Warrior Team for Judgment
House, which our church was hosting for the first year. She explained
that she was in charge of the Prayer Group and that my job would be
to meet with the group and pray for the participants in Judgment
House, as well as those who would attend. That sounded easy enough,
so I agreed.
On the day I walked in the meeting for the Prayer Warriors,
I immediately thought, “Oh, no! What have I done?” As my eyes
scanned the room, I felt so inadequate. The room was filled with older,
wiser, much stronger Christians than I; therefore, I was sure I needed
to bow out. However, feeling the authority of Ms. Bobbie looming over
me, I quietly sat down as my mind began to think of possible excuses that
I could give her as to why I couldn’t be in this Prayer Group.
Then, she spoke in a tone that was tender – yet strong. And
I listened. (In fact, when Ms. Bobbie speaks, everyone within hearing
distance listens.) She began to tell us that we were all there because
God wanted us to be. She explained that before calling us, she sat
with a long list of names that she had prayed over. And, as she called
each name out, she listened for God to speak to her heart as to
whether or not she needed to call that person.
I remember thinking to myself,“I’m afraid you misunderstood
God, Ms. Bobbie, because God couldn’t have told you to call me. I can-
not pray like these people. I am not worthy of being in this group.”
Then, she looked directly at me and smiled as our eyes met, and I
knew she was right.
That year, as our church opened its doors to the community
with our first Judgment House, Ms. Bobbie opened her heart to me as
a Sister-in-Christ. I have been blessed beyond words by her wisdom
Ms. that comes from her relationship with Jesus Christ. In the eight years
since that Judgment House, she has continued to head up the Prayer
Warriors. And, most every year, I have had the honor of serving with her.
In fact, I talked about her so much in my home that my son
asked to join the group three years ago. It didn’t take long for Jacob
Bcroft
obbie
to see what I had been talking about. My young son was so blessed
by what he saw in Ms. Bobbie and has returned to serve with her in
the Prayer Group every year since. Her reach is not limited to her
gender or generation; she has the respect and love of many. She is
indeed an example of the wise woman in Proverbs 31:28, “Her chil-
dren arise up, and call her blessed.”
Bobbie Croft knows prayer. And I’m not talking about the
generic, “Dear Lord, hear our prayers, please. Thank you and Amen.”
This woman prays with her entire being to the God she serves. And
if she tells you she will pray for you, you can rest assured she will do
just that. And let me also assure you that she is a God-fearing, Bible-
believing woman who serves her Master with her whole heart, soul,
mind, body and spirit. When she prays, not a stone is left unturned.
Those of us in her Prayer Group know that serving with Ms. Bobbie
by Melia Flowers Berry is not for wimps. She wants you on your feet when you pray (unless
you’re not able to, in which case she will happily have you sit). And
when she starts, she doesn’t stop until she has poured her heart out
to God. ...
LEST I paint her as an angel, I should tell you that she does have a When I need prayer, I’m very blessed to have close, praying friends whom I
stubborn side. In fact, I faced that stubbornness when I told her I wanted to write know will pray for me. Also, my mother, along with Ms. Bobbie, is always praying for
about her in this WISE WOMEN issue. While she was honored, she let me know that me. It’s kind of humorous the way I think of her prayers. In fact, I’m a little embar-
she did not see herself as wise and wasn’t sure she wanted to do this. After some con- rassed to share this; but, I think of it like “calling in the big guns.” It’s not that I think
versation, I thought I had won. Then, my Assistant, Heather, informed me that when she any less of anyone else’s prayers because I know with all my heart that God hears all
called to set up her photo shoot, Ms. Bobbie told her she just couldn’t do it. the prayers of believers. And I’m convinced that if we could see the prayers of mother’s,
So, back to phone I went. I understand where she was coming from because she they would shine brightest. However, I believe that God has given unique gifts to
is very humble and recognizes that all that she is comes from God. She acknowledges that each of us, and I think Ms. Bobbie’s is the gift of praying. I just feel like she has a special
she is not wise; it is God who is wise. She quotes this Scripture,“Proverbs 2:6 says,‘For the connection with God. I can imagine my prayers going up to Heaven via regular mail and
Lord gives wisdom. And from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.’ ” hers, express mail. Or, mine, with dial-up Internet and hers, DSL. You get the picture.
Still, I knew that above all else in this world, Bobbie Croft desires to glorify I don’t claim to know why Ms. Bobbie has that thing she has, I just know that is real
God, and I believed her story would do just that. I just had to convince her. because I have experienced it firsthand.
Thankfully, I was able to. When I knew my daddy was not going to live long, I called Ms. Bobbie to
While Ms. Bobbie’s faith is unshakable, that doesn’t mean she hasn’t had her pray for me because I was struggling with the need to go out of town and the fear
struggles. In fact, she knows firsthand that “serving God means serving Him in good that he would die while I was gone. I so wanted to be with him at the time and
times, as well as bad,” as I have often heard her say. In talking with her about this couldn’t bare the thought of not being there for him in his last hours. As Ms. Bobbie
story, she did not wish to go into great detail regarding her struggles. However, in was praying for me, she began praising God and, later, told me to go on my trip. She
our conversations throughout the years, she has alluded to pain in her life said that I would be with my daddy when he died and that she saw me at
and that pain was reflected in her eyes. Bobbie Croft is a very private his bedside standing at the right of his head. She said that I would
woman, and I sense that she had rather her pain remain between witness the glory of God – and I would never be the same.
“
her and her God. At the same time, she wants everyone to I was alone with my DaDa when he died, and it was just
know that life as a Christian does not mean a life without
pain. In fact, she will quickly tell you that sometimes when
...she has as she had told me. I remember thinking as I stood by
his bedside, surrounded by the presence of God, “Ms.
Bobbie was right.”
we turn our lives over to God, they can get even tougher
to travel. The difference is that God is with you, and He
will bare the burdens for us. She experienced that
a special I’m sure she would rather I had not shared that
with you because she wouldn’t want to be seen in a
way that shines the light on her. But, if you are read-
promise when her first husband, Stewart Bailey, died at
only thirty-seven-years-old, leaving Bobbie to raise her
connection ing this, it means I convinced her to let it be told
because, again, it’s not about her. It’s about what God
“
fourteen-year-old-son and ten-year-old daughter alone.
During that time, she recalls lying awake in her bed will do in our lives when we are open and obedient to
and looking up at the ceiling and feeling God’s presence. “It is in
these difficult times when God’s light shines through the brightest.
with God. Him.
I could write a book about the God-given wis-
dom of Ms. Bobbie. In fact, I have told her that one day
I learned I was not alone in the wee hours of the morning before
dawn breaks. I learned that I had a comforter who was not only with me, when I am given the time, I would like to write a book and
but in me. I already knew that in my heart; but, until that time, I really had not title it, Bobbisims. It would be filled with her advice and sayings.
experienced – nor had I fully understood – how real His presence could be to His child I have many written down, like this one, “When people or the enemy
in her time of need.” While she was already a believer, I suspect this was the event that gives you something that doesn’t belong to you, return to sender. Just say, ‘God,
took Ms.Bobbie from a believer to having an amazing personal relationship with the Lord. this doesn’t belong to me. I will not accept it,’ and return to sender.”
How does one overcome a hurt like that, I wondered. In her wisdom, Ms. If she speaks on something that she did not get from the Bible, she is quick
Bobbie says,“I don’t think one ever overcomes or forgets a loss like that, but you do to say, “Now this isn’t from God; it’s from me,” making sure not to imply that God
the only thing you can do. After a time of mourning and crying out to God, I did has given her something that He hasn’t.
what we all must do who have experienced loss. I began to be thankful for what Bobbie Croft is full of wise advice for anyone, but I am especially thankful
my husband had left me. I had two beautiful children who needed me. And I had for the Godly wisdom and advice she has shared with me in areas that affect me as
wonderful, thoughtful, praying friends who came and spent time with me. Last, a woman. She says, “For women to be strong in the Lord, it does not take anything
but certainly not least, I was growing stronger in my prayer life.” away from the man. We are not to tower over the man but to come alongside him
Ms. Bobbie believes that Jesus chose to leave her here for a reason, so she and be his helpmate. A wife needs to be strong where the husband is weak, and the
learned to have even more faith and trust in Him. She says that “when a person is husband needs to be strong where the wife is weak. They should complement each
trying to heal from sorrow and loss and also trying to grow, there is only one place other, not lord their strengths over one another. God did not make women to be
to go – that is to the foot of the Cross and talk to the Master. It is there where as strong, physically, as men. Man is to protect his wife and cherish her. Women have
healing will begin. And it is there where you find peace and strength. It is there that a gentle side that can kiss a bruise on a child and make the hurt go away. Husband
Jesus lets us know He is near and He will never leave us or forsake us.” and wife working together for the Lord is a beautiful thing. God’s strength on the
God used the Judgment House Prayer Group to bring Ms. Bobbie and me inside of us is an asset – not a liability.”
together from that time until present. She has shown me that prayer is crucial in our Ms. Bobbie says that we can all get that strength if we ask our Lord for it.
relationship with Christ. I wanted her to tell me in her own words what prayer “God is so good! He equips us with what we need – as we need it. God gives us
means to her. This is what she said: strength in so many areas of our lives: wisdom is strength, information is strength, divine
insight is strength, love is strength, the Holy Spirit gives us strength and knowledge
“Prayer is as important as breathing. Getting on my knees before the Mighty God keeps me is strength.”
humble. Prayer is fellowship with God. I come to Him often because I love Him so much. Bobbie Croft is definitely a wise woman, but she is so much more. She is
When you love someone, you want to be near them and talk to them all the time. That is stylish and modern yet traditional. She takes care of her body and her health and
how it is with prayer. Prayer is coming to our Father in the name of Jesus, her mind. At 77-years-old, she can hold her own with those decades her junior. Ms.
worshiping Him because of who He is, because He is worthy to be worshiped and praised. Bobbie is funny and fun to be around. She enjoys laughter and believes that, as children
Prayer is humbling ourselves before God, coming with thankfulness for what He has done and of God, we should be joyful. And her sweet smile is evidence of her joy. I am blessed
telling Him we love Him. Prayer is talking things over with our Father and then listening for to call her my friend. I am even more so blessed to call her my Sister-in-Christ.
His answer. Prayer is sitting quietly in the spirit of prayer before the Lord, in humble adora- Ms. Bobbie Bailey Croft lives in Marion. She is a Member of Marion Baptist
tion, without asking for a thing. Prayer can be just sitting quietly in the Church, where she serves anywhere she is called by God. She has a son, Larry, and a
presence of God and basking in his Presence.” daughter, Linda. She blessed to be a mother, a grandmother and a great-grandmother.
80-81 7/23/10 1:12 PM Page 2
WISE WOMEN
I AM BLESSED to have grown up with a After eight years of teaching ninth-grade English, I love my job at West
mother who strives to be like Christ every day. Teaching Florence High School! I rely on my mother for advice, support and resources. Even
is my mother’s calling – her spiritual gift. There is no though we’re in different areas of teaching – she, in the Social Studies Department,
doubt in anyone’s mind that God blessed Yvonne Rhodes and I, in English – we are able to help each other. Just recently, I was developing a
with the ability to teach. Some of my youngest and fondest unit on the Holocaust, and my mother provided a plethora of information to help
memories of her are summer Bible studies in our kitchen – and my students understand the historical background to parallel with the novel we
she wasn’t even a School Teacher then. were reading in class.
At the age of thirty-six, with three children under thirteen, my With my Master’s Degree in Technology, my mother comes to me for help
mama went back to college to pursue her dream of teaching. Looking whenever she needs it, as well. If asked, my mother would tell you that technology is
back, I don’t know how she did it. My parents sacrificed so much during those the main aspect of teaching that has changed in her twenty years of teaching. I’m
four years, but my mother walked across the stage at Francis Marion College with trying to catch her up! ...
a Degree in Political Science. I was so proud of her! We all were. But, even more
so, we were inspired! Since her graduation, my siblings and I have all
graduated from college.
Upon graduation, at forty-years-old, my mother start-
ed teaching at Wilson High School in Florence. It wasn’t as
easy as she thought it would be. She assumed that a teacher
is someone who is nice and has good lesson plans. She
learned quickly that some students didn’t care how nice she
was or how amazing her lessons were. But, she never gave
up. She gave it to God. She is now in her twentieth year
of teaching at Wilson. And she is still nice and has amaz-
ing lesson plans! With God’s help, my mama has spent
those twenty years reaching students’ hearts and
minds. She loves them. And they love her back.
I’m proud to share my mother with her
students. I love hearing, “You’re Mrs. Rhodes’
daughter? I love her! She’s great!” And I agree with
them completely. She is great, and I love her, too!
For as long as I can remember, I have want-
ed to be a teacher, just like my mama. Literature has
always been important in my family, so I decided to
major in Secondary Education English. Being my
mother’s daughter, I knew how difficult teaching could
be. I remember calling her in tears from Clemson the
day before I started student teaching because I was so
nervous. She told me I would be fine if I would just
pray, be calm and confident. She was right.
In my first year of teaching, I recall getting
so frustrated because I could not get across to
my students what I was trying to or when a stu-
dent said something to upset me. Every day Gina Lee (right) with her mom,Yvonne (center) and sister, Crystal
after school, I would call my mama and just let
it all out! She was – and still is – an amazing
sounding board. She always knows the right
thing to say or the right way for me to handle a
situation.And, as always, she is right.
80-81 7/23/10 1:13 PM Page 3
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can remember, I
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MY MOTHER and I are not the only ones in our family that
love children and teaching. My sister, Crystal, has her Master’s of Arts in Teaching
for the Learning Disabled. Crystal has chosen a different path than traditional
school settings. She facilitates her son’s learning at home.
Crystal has always loved children. Growing up, one could always find her
in the nursery at church, teaching swimming lessons or babysitting. Crystal start-
ed college with the intention of becoming a Pediatric Nurse, but that wasn’t a
good fit for her. You guessed it! She changed her major to Teaching.
After getting married, she and her husband moved back to his home-
town, where they both graduated from Ohio State University. They came back
to Florence, and Crystal went to Graduate School at Francis Marion University.
She finished her Graduate Degree, and two weeks later, she had her first son. She
has since been blessed with two more children.
Crystal believes that her children were given to her by the Lord, and she
wants to do what is best for them. Right now, keeping her eldest son home for
his education is what he needs. She works with South Carolina Connections
Academy to create his curriculum and lesson plans. Crystal enjoys teaching her
son. At this time in her life, she feels that this is where the Lord wants her to be.
She doesn’t know what the future holds, but she is willing to allow Him to direct
her path.
Teaching can be a struggle. Sometimes, it is really tough. Nevertheless,
we all knew that going in to the profession. It’s hard to forgive a student when
they are rude and disrespectful. It’s hard to teach the same thing over and over
and feel like no one is listening. But, these are not the things we thrive on.
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As another school year begins, my mother, sister and I are excited about
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82-83 7/23/10 3:43 PM Page 2
WISE WOMEN
T er e
johnson
sa
ramey by Erika Chapman
So, the burning question remains: Do we make the purchase if it’s on sale? For
me, the wise words of my husband come to mind, “Stop saving us so much money!”
Just because it’s on sale does not mean it’s a smart choice. By applying the simple “haste
makes waste” principle, we can make a wise decision regarding sale items.
With all you save by making smarter choices with your money and sticking to a
budget, you can create savings for future emergencies, a fun-filled family vacation or an
occasional trip to the movies. You may even be able to afford popcorn!
Linda H.Weatherford is thankful to share her life with her husband, Mike, and their two great sons,
Robbie and Jordan. She is a Member of Cornerstone Baptist Church in Darlington and is
Director of Marketing/Business Development at SPC Credit Union.
85 7/23/10 10:03 AM Page 1
the staff of
in florence
om, Headmaster;
Picture L to R: Joan Pennstr
slie Olsen,
Beth Hopewell, Admissions; Le
nson, Summer Camp
Communications; Michelle Be
d Harriet Aiken,
and After School Programs; an
Zeigler, Development)
Finance (not pictured: Belle
“ We were excited to be chosen for She Magazine’s Chicks of the Month, not
only because we love All Saints’ Episcopal Day School, with our wonderful faculty
and staff, but we also love She Magazine! Joan Pennstrom is continuing to lead and
inspire us as our headmaster for her 16th year at All Saints’ and this school year will
mark our school’s 50th anniversary. We are excited about welcoming our 3K-6th
grade children to school this year and for many more years to come!
We also wish She Magazine continuing success in creating a publication each
month with such meaningful and entertaining content!
{ ”
If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of She Magazine
and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In
and Florence Darlington Tech locations, send an e-mail
telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the
Month to: editor@shemagazine.com
87 7/23/10 1:34 PM Page 1
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Never
Bark
at a Dog by Melodie Griffin
K Kids crack me up. One can never predict what might tumble from their
imaginative brains down to their unfiltered little lips! Thus was the case with
seven year old Hannah the other day. Skipping along the sidewalk to the library,
she spouted this random, unsolicited advice, “Never bark at a dog.” While wait-
ing for her to finish pontificating, my grownup mind searched a list of possible rea-
sons never to bark at the canine species. It might bite you was the response I was
Of how many times I'd uttered
Biting words whose pain would last.Then I wondered of the people
I had hurt by things I'd said;
All the ones I had discouraged
When I didn't use my head.Then I thought about my own life
Of painful words I've heard;
expecting, but her words interrupted my wondering. “NEVER bark at a dog And of the times I'd been discouraged
because you don’t know what you might be saying!” This is true. I am not fluent By a sharp and cruel word. And now clearly I remember
in dog language. My little friend further cautioned me that I might even be saying All the things I might have done;
bad words to the dog and not even know it! Oh, the humanity. But, by a word I was discouraged
Words are powerful. God surely knows this and warned us to be care- And they never were begun. So, help my words be silver boxes,
ful with our words – long before the thought ever occurred to Hannah! Proverbs Neatly wrapped up with a bow;
18:21a tells us,“The tongue has the power of life and death…” Ruff ruff! It sounds That I give to all so freely,
like maybe I need to pay better attention to my own barking. My words hold the As through each day I gladly go. Silver boxes full of treasure,
power of death? Yes – death to dreams, confidence, courage, hope, affection, trust, Precious gifts from above;
respect – just to name a few. I may never know the damage I’ve done by my care- That all the people I encounter
less words! Maybe I was being sarcastic or just making a joke, but at what Might have a box of love
expense? My beloved mentor, Florence Littauer, wrote a best-selling book years
ago entitled, “Silver Boxes.” In this wonderful book, she shares her own experi- Ah, my words can also be power-packed with life! I see this most of all
ences with the power of words. Here is her poem by the same name: in my relationship with my children.When I praise them or affirm the God-gifts
in their lives, my words are like cool water to the parched soil of their hearts.
“Silver Boxes” The wilting stems of self-doubt begin to straighten themselves up into tall confi-
My words were harsh & hasty dence and before I know it, there is vibrant foliage of resilience and striking
And they came without a thought. blooms of courage!
Then I saw the pain & anguish I think that Hannah may be onto something. “Never bark at a dog…or
That my bitter words had brought. Bitter words that I had spoken your spouse, children, parents, boss, co-worker, umpire, or even that driver that
Made me think back through the past; cut you off in traffic today! You don’t know what you might be saying!”
Melodie Griffin is a freelance writer, professional speaker and singer. She resides in the Midlands of SC along with her husband, three amazing children, and 2 Westies.
89 7/23/10 1:49 PM Page 1
T HEN &NOW:
MICHELLE Summerford
T H EN:
My High School: 1986 Graduate of West Florence High School
My Attitude: I was very shy and modest. I followed the rules and wanted to
end high school just as quickly as it began.
My Friends: I didn’t have a lot of best friends; I tried to be friends with everyone.
My Style: The Big Hair, Gasoline Jeans and Journey was the band (and still is). I
considered myself to be plain but willing to “fit in.” I wanted very much to be
myself, but I seemed to follow the trends of the time, which included fashion, hair-
styles and music.
What I Loved Most About High School: Seeing my then-boyfriend and
going to basketball and football games
What I Worried Most About In High School: If someone was talking
about me, turning in a paper on time or making the grade I wanted
My Favorite Subjects and Teachers: My English Teacher, Mrs. Moose, and
my Psychology Teacher, Coach Nelson. They made school incredibly interesting,
and I looked forward to everything they had to talk about.
My Dreams: I wanted to be a Nurse. I loved helping others and feeling needed.
NOW:
My Family: My husband and best friend of twenty years, Curt Summerford;
and our three beautiful children, Joshua (18), Zachary (11) and Jessica (7)
My Attitude: I’m still just as compassionate as I was in high school.
My Work: I’m a Realtor with Century 21 Bellray Properties. I didn’t follow
through with Nursing, but I’m still helping people, just in a different way. I also
volunteer with the Florence Area Humane Society and administer its
Facebook Page. I think an animal’s home is very important.
What I Love About My Life: I love my life now because I live it for God.
I’ve learned that I cannot please everyone, and I shouldn’t have to. When I put
God first, everything else follows behind just as it’s supposed to.
My High School Experiences That Influences Me Today: Though I
probably didn’t agree with them much then, my parents have had a lasting
influence on my life. I wish I could just laugh with my daddy one more time or
have my mama tell me what time to be home from a date.
The One Thing I Would Change About My High School Years: I would
worry less, study more and laugh much more often.
Michelle’s 1986 Wisdom I Have Now That I Could Have Used Then: I wish I hadn’t
worried about what those girls were saying and had just walked up to them
Senior Portrait and said,“Hi!” I wish I could go back and study just a little harder instead of
worrying if the phone would ring. Finally, I wish I had hugged my parents
more, made more conversations with them and reached for my goals with
more enthusiasm.
Wisdom I Have Now That Would Have Made My High School Years
Better: My confidence and faith in God. God gives me the strength and the
wisdom to live each day to the fullest success.
Most Important Thing To Me Now: My family. I would do anything for them.
91 7/23/10 2:04 PM Page 1
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ol!
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OUR SYLVAN SKILLS
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T HEN &NOW:
SCARLETT Lorraine
Howle Shamblin
T HEN:
My High School: 1979 Graduate of West Florence High School
My Attitude: Quiet, Artistic, Observant
My Friends: Tammy, Darlene, Marit and Joan-Marie
My Style: Levi’s and Flannel Shirts with a pair of Clogs or Docksiders
What I Loved Most About High School: My aunt, Lucy Davis, was our
Principal. She created a good environment for us to excel and learn in.
My Favorite Teacher & Subject: Ned Owings and Biology
My Dreams: To be an Artist/Illustrator of some kind or to be a
Pianist/Piano Teacher
Most Important Thing To Me Then: Making good grades – and my
boyfriend
NOW:
My Family: I’m happily married and our children are all four-legged.
My Attitude: Compassionate, Fun, Opinionated, Busy with the life I have
created around me
What I Love About My Life: A great husband and great health are at
the top of a really long list.
My High School Experiences That Influences Me Today: My aunt,
Lucy Davis, was the Principal. She demanded respect, and she earned it.
Our society lacks that today. Instead, fear rules. Lucy feared nothing.
The One Thing I Would Change About My High School
Years: That’s another list that’s too long, but I wish I had been
more focused on my future and less on my boyfriend.
Wisdom I Have Now That I Could Have Used Then: It’s
not the end of the world if somebody breaks your heart. Oh,
and history. I wish I had paid more attention in history classes.
I’m intrigued now.
Most Important Thing To Me Now: Following the example
of my Savior and what He desires for me on a daily basis. It’s not
about me; it’s about the person standing next to me. I want to
make a difference in his/her life, even if it’s really small. Some
days, I’m good at it; some days, I fail miserably.
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the last 4 years! Showtopper regional overall winners and National finalists!
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THEN &NOW:
SHARON
Flynn Webb
THEN:
My High School: 1977 Graduate of Point Pleasant Borough High
School, Point Pleasant, New Jersey
My Attitude: I was shy around new people but loyal to the end with
my closest girlfriends. I was a straight ‘A’ student, a bit of a goody
two-shoes with the same boyfriend from tenth grade to graduation
and a few years beyond. In retrospect, I was a “glass-half-empty” per-
son, full of worry about my future to the point of grimness (especial-
ly judging by that prom photo!).
My Style: In my hometown in 1977, the unofficial daily “uniform”
was hip-hugger-bell-bottoms worn with shiny, long-sleeved polyester
print blouses; shag haircuts and big-framed eye glasses. Orthodontia
was typically worn for four years so that made for a really good look.
What I Loved Most About High School: I loved that I could
choose electives – even though my mom and I occasionally disagreed
about some of my choices. (Latin was approved but not so much for
theater, which was my attempt at breaking out of the shy bubble.)
My Favorite Subject: Ninth-grade Algebra taught by Mr. Manzo
was my favorite “class” – but definitely not my favorite “subject.” Mr.
Manzo had collar-length hair, bell bottoms and big goofy glasses. He
was very hip! I was terrible at Algebra! I just didn’t get it and brought
home a less-than-acceptable grade the first quarter. Mr. Manzo and
my mom worked out a deal that I could sit in on a second class daily
and do twice the classroom time, twice the homework and twice the
quizzes and tests. One day, the mystery of Algebra clicked, and I got
it! While Algebra will never be my favorite subject (even with my own
children, I send them to their dad for help), Mr. Manzo will remain my
favorite teacher just for his willingness to make sure I “got it.”
My Dreams: To finish high school and move on to the “real world”
– whatever that was
My Work: My senior year, I was in a work/study program, so I went
to school until noon, and then I went to the local hospital from 1:00
to 5:00 PM, wearing white pants and a yellow smock. To this day, you
will never catch me in white pants or anything yellow.
Most Important Thing To Me Then: Graduating!
94-95 7/23/10 11:57 AM Page 3
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T H EN :
My High School: 1963 Graduate
of McClenaghan High in Florence
My Attitude: Fun, Energetic, Carefree
My Friends: Carol Beaty, Jane Goff,
Gwen Smith, Phyllis Tripp, Joan Hatfield
My Style: Athletic
What I Loved Most About High
School: Playing Sports
My Favorite Teacher:
Roberta Andrews
My Dreams: To be a Physical
Education Teacher
Most Important Thing To Me
Then: Playing Basketball and Tennis
NOW:
My Family: Wonderful Husband of 36 years, Leo Elvington; Two Stepchildren:
Marnie E. Carter, Gil Elvington; Three Children: Brice Elvington, Zan Elvington,
Morgan Walker; Daughter-in-Law: Kim Coxe Elvington; Sons-in-Law: King Carter and
Michael Walker;Two Grandchildren: Megann McKinney, King Carter
My Work: Owner of The Toy Shop in Florence
What I Love About My Life: I have wonderful family and friends.
The One Thing I Would Change About My High School Years: I would
have put more emphasis on my studies.
Wisdom I Have Now That I Could Have Used Then: High school would
have been a lot easier if I had studied more.
Most Important Thing To Me Now: Family. There is nothing more important
than family.
97 7/23/10 10:06 AM Page 1
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T HEN &NOW:
WENDY
Wendy’s 1987
Senior portrait
Lee Watford
T HE N :
My High School: 1987 Graduate of Hartsville High
My Attitude: Carefree!
My Style: Jeans and a shirt
What I Loved Most About High School: Socializing
My Favorite Subject: Geography
My Dreams: To be a hair stylist
My Work: I worked at Mr. B’s for two years, and then I worked at
Bi-Lo my senior year. I loved to work and save my money.
Most Important Thing To Me Then: Spending time with family
and friends
NOW:
My Family: Husband of 20 years, Phillip Watford; five-year-old son,Andon
My Priorities: My son is the number one priority in my life today.
When it comes to me, however, I enjoy pampering myself. What lady
doesn’t enjoy shopping for herself and her home?
My Work: Full-time employee at SPC Credit Union, where I’ve been
for over 20 years
What I Love About My Life: God blessed me with a healthy almost-
ten-pound baby boy on August 23, 2004.
My Goal: To make as many wonderful memories for my son as I can.
My parents made sure I had lots of special memories growing up, and I
want – and will – do the same for my son.
My High School Experiences That Influence Me Today: To always
do my best and never take things for granted
The One Thing I Would Change About My High School Years:
In high school, all I worried about was going out with friends instead of wor-
rying about my future. Like the song goes,“If I could turn back time . . .”
Wisdom I Had Then That I Could Use Now: I wish that I loved to
save my money like I did when I was in high school.
Wisdom I Have Now That I Could Have Used Then: I know now
that I should have taken my studies more seriously.
Most Important Thing To Me Now: My family is still the most
important thing to me. However, now, it’s more important that I spend
as much time as I can with them and to enjoy every moment we share.
In addtion to Wendy’s husand and son, she has two sisters, Nancy Huggins and
Rachel Wint. Her wonderful mom is Libby Lee. And last, but definitely not least,
is her wonderful dad and her hero, Charles Lee, who lost his battle with ALS on
December 6, 2006.
99 7/23/10 10:07 AM Page 1
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Childhood Obesity
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Important Factors When a Child Is Trying to Fit In
by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD
If you have questions about the information in this article, please contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence.
Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.
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Elizabeth’s
Stuffed
Apples
ingredients:
• 4 Granny Smith Apples
(or any kind you like)
• 1 Cup of Brown Sugar
• 3/4 Cup of Golden Raisins
directions:
• 1/3 Cup of Cinnamon Sugar
• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
• Wash and core each apple.
• Mix the brown sugar, raisins and cinnamon sugar together.
• Pack the sugar/raisin mixture in the apple where the core was.
“This is one of those • Place the apples in a Pyrex baking dish that has been sprayed
recipes that you can so the apples won’t stick.
mix to your own likings • Bake the apples in a preheated 350-degree oven.
• Cook until you smell the wonderful aroma, usually about an
if you want more or hour.
less of something.” • Check the apples for doneness by using a toothpick.
~ Kathy Brown
Kathy Brown is a Special Education Resource Teacher at Darlington Middle School and has been
teaching for 24 years. She has two daughters: Elizabeth and her husband, Matt, have one son, Luke
(2 ?); Ashley has just graduated from Clemson and will attend Charleston Law School in August.
103 7/23/10 10:09 AM Page 1
104 7/23/10 2:09 PM Page 1
OUR SKIN MAY BE A BIT LIKE OUR CHILDREN. If you’re good to them, then they will
be good to you. As with children, nature and nurture contribute to the appearance and well-being of our skin. In
either case, however, the effect of treatment – or mistreatment – may present itself only after a prolonged period
of time. I’m not going to presume to offer any suggestions on how to avoid creating a juvenile delinquent; but, I
will throw out a few ideas on smart skin care – particularly as it relates to our diet.
The skin is our largest organ, providing a protective barrier from our environment. It is exposed
to numerous sources of trauma every day of our lives, but it is uniquely designed to withstand a constant
process of damage and repair. Unfortunately, we are not blessed with the ability to shed our old skin
each season and slither away like a snake. (I suspect, however, there is little else to envy about a crea-
ture whose mobility requires an aptitude for crawling on its belly.)
Genetics affect skin color, ability to tan or burn and one’s predilection for cutaneous malig-
nancies. It’s no secret that chronic exposure to ultraviolet light (sun exposure) changes the skin’s
texture, causing wrinkling and age spots. Suffice it to say that tanning to improve one’s appearance is
ultimately self-defeating.
Rather than preach on the obvious benefits of sun protection, I would like to provide some
less-obvious information that links nutrition to healthy skin. Basically, a diet optimal for an overall healthy body
should be optional for skin health, as well. It stands to reason that a healthy diet slows down physiological mechanisms of
aging in all tissues – and that includes the skin. Some aspects of a healthy diet, however, are more likely than oth-
ers to give a boost of glowing good health to your complexion. Let’s explore.
We know that fruits and vegetables are good for us, but do they really have a direct effect on the skin?
The answer is, “Absolutely!” They contain a wide variety of antioxidants, especially in the pigments responsible
for their color. These antioxidants help protect skin cells from damage by free radicals that are triggered in the
skin due to environmental and sun exposure. It’s best to favor fresh and uncooked (or minimally cooked) fruits
and veggies since heat inactivates most antioxidants. Some fruits and vegetables are richer in antioxidants
than others. These include artichokes, beans (black, red and pinto) and prunes.
What else should be on our plate? Well, how about salmon, walnuts, pecans, canola oil and
flax seed? These may seem a bit random and unrelated, but they provide essential fatty acids
which are responsible for healthy cell membranes. Cell membranes provide barriers to harm-
ful things and are the passageway for nutrients to enter and waste products to exit our cells.
Because the cell membrane is what holds water in, the stronger that barrier is, the better your
cells can hold moisture. That means plumper, younger-looking skin. In addition, essential fatty
acids help reduce the inflammatory process, which can harm skin cells. Look for foods that
contain Omega 3 fatty acids such as those just mentioned. Green tea is another food item
that is anti-inflammatory and protects the cell membrane. Whether taken orally or applied to
the skin, it can reduce the risk of damage from ultraviolet light (sun exposure).
The skin is also protected when we consume whole wheat bread, muffins, cereals, turkey,
tuna and Brazil nuts. These all contain selenium, which plays a key role in the health of skin cells. Even
skin damaged by the sun may suffer fewer consequences if selenium levels are up because it reduces
oxidative damage that contributes to the development of skin cancers.
It’s always a good idea to include healthy oils with our foods. Not only do they contain essential
fatty acids, they also help to keep the skin lubricated, making it look and feel healthier. The best oils are ones
that have not been commercially processed. Look for oils that are labeled “cold pressed,” “expeller
processed” or “extra virgin.” That way, you’ll get all the nutrients that are not only good for your skin but
good for your body, as well.
No one can dispute the role that good hydration plays in keeping skin looking healthy. Well-
moisturized skin is less prone to the development of wrinkles. Drinking plenty of fluids throughout the
day ensures proper hydration of the body and helps reduce skin dryness. Water helps cells move
nutrients in and toxins out. Experts recommend drinking six to eight glasses (at least half a gallon)
of water a day. Coffee and sodas are not a good substitute because they contain caffeine, which
is a diuretic. Water is cheap, convenient and healthy. You can’t beat that!
To sum it up. Eat, drink and be merry! And if you’re smart about it, you’ll be feeling good
– and looking good!
105 7/23/10 2:57 PM Page 1
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“
to me and were encouraged to be more like me.
Outside the classroom, though, I never felt as smart. Other girls seemed to
be aware of some unwritten rules that I never received. They knew how to be
giggly and girly. They had slumber parties. They loved to have pretty clothes,
knowing
and they had that knack for putting together fashionable outfits. I admired
them. I was jealous of them. I wanted to be like them. I just didn’t get it. myself
When my family moved to South Carolina the summer before ninth
grade, I “got smart” and decided to try something different. I would made me
start over. No one knew who I was, so I could be anyone that I
wanted to be. I began to pore over fashion magazines and to
imitate new styles of dress and makeup. I recalled the girls that
feel smart
I had admired as a young girl and tried to mimic their flirtiness
and carefree attitudes. I became someone new. I even
– or WISE
began to do less well in school because I thought that guys
didn’t like smart girls. How smart is that? Not very. Sadly, few - again.
people who knew me then know the real me.
”
A smart decision I made was to go to the college I chose. I made
such good, life-long friends. I learned so much. I chose an all-girls school so
that I could focus on my learning and not be distracted by having guys in class with me. I had a won-
derful college experience and made more smart decisions.
The toughest decision, however, was choosing to study for a semester in France. It was
hard for me to leave everything and everyone that I knew and loved so that I could delve into
this new experience. But I felt as though it was something that I desperately needed to do.
You see, I had done such a good job of pretending to be someone else for so long that even
I didn’t know the “real” me anymore. And that was sad. Being alone for all those months
in France forced me to come to grips with who I am as a person.
So, I found myself again. I graduated, found a job and got married. I felt like I knew me
again. I was a wife and a teacher. I had an identity again. Knowing myself made me feel
smart – or wise - again.
Then, I had a baby. And I found out that I am the least wise person in the world.
Ask any mother and I believe she will tell you that of all the things she knows, she
knows the least about being a mother. But, hopefully, we have learned by this time
how we gain knowledge and become wise. I consulted more mature, wiser women
– women who had been mothers and knew what a particular cry meant.
And, that, Ladies (and Gentlemen who secretly read She and won’t
admit it), is the secret of true wisdom. Wisdom is knowing enough to know
that you don’t know it all. Wisdom is the ability to admit that you don’t
know it all. Wisdom is the courage to ask for help and advice when
you need it.
Most importantly, though, we should never forget that
the source of all wisdom is God. He is the One Who grants
us wisdom and knowledge. All we have to do is ask for it.
Allie Atkinson is a French Teacher at Marion High School. She lives in Marion with her husband, Philip, and daughter, Abbie.
113 7/23/10 3:04 PM Page 1
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Front row: (L-R) Em Hubbard, Head of School Donna Grubb, Director of Admissions
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Eight-year-old Kylie Shea Davis has always been very dramatic and full of
energy. Her family and friends see her as a little entertainer. From the time she
could talk, Kylie was dressing up and climbing up on stools and singing into hair-
brushes or whatever else she could pretend to be a microphone. Then, she would
put on “concerts” for her mom.
Kylie plays softball and has taken dance since she was two-years-old.
She made All-Stars this year for the first time in softball, and she was very excited.
This year, she will start gymnastics and is looking forward to that challenge.
Kylie also loves to skate and swim.
Kylie’s friends are extremely important to her. She loves to help others and
has a very generous and kind heart. Her little sister, Maddie Grace, adores her
and wants to do everything “Big Sister” does.
Kylie is the daughter of Ashley Carnahan of Scranton. She has a little sister, Maddie
Grace, and a little brother, Carson. This month’s “Wee She” was nominated by Kylie’s
mom, Ashley. If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail
to editor@shemagazine.com with “Wee She” Nomination as the subject.
117 7/23/10 3:06 PM Page 1
D
A
B
C E
To be featured in “There She Goes,” send
an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com.
Include a picture of yourself (& traveling
companions) with a copy of She Magazine
F along with a brief description.
A Caribbean Islands
Senior Adult Group with the Florence County Parks and Recreation D Santorini, Greece
February 2010 She Magazine Mindy Taylor and Faye Higgs
• “We survived the Celebrity Mercury Cruise! This was the cruise ship that had over 500
May 2010 She Magazine
people get sick from the Norovirus. We left out of Charleston on February 15th, 2010 and
returned on February 26th. We visited San Juan, Puerto Rico; Charlotte Amalie, St.Thomas;
• “My husband, Bill, and I, as well as my parents, Faye and Emery Higgs,
Philipsburg, St. Maarten; Basseterre, St. Kitts and Tortola, the largest of the British Virgin Islands. went on a cruise in May to Venice, Croatia and Greece.
This picture was taken on formal night. I’m glad to say that everyone was well enough to This picture was taken in Santorini, Greece.” ~ Mindy Taylor
come and take a group photo for She Magazine!”
~ Lori Davis (Programs Assistant for FCPR and Group Leader for this trip) E Orlando, Florida
Becky Gilbert, Sylvia Cavanaugh, Shrek, Mary Lou Hord & Priscilla Fritz
B Alaska May 2010 She Magazine
Claudia Deithorn
August 2009 She Magazine • “For the past ten years, my sisters and I, along with our families, have
spent our Mother’s Day Weekend at Portofino Bay Hotel at Universal
• “In September 2009, I took the trip of a lifetime – a cruise to Alaska. Orlando Resort in remembrance of our mother, Lucile Fritz, of Marion.
I was a tag-along on my best friend, Judy Parker’s dream trip. She and We were dining on the bay front at the Trattoria del Porto when Shrek
I were very blessed.” ~ Claudia Deithorn, Hemingway surprised us and wanted to look at our She Magazine!” ~ Mary Lou Hord
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In
by Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC
In my experiences over the years, I have found that a few men Another example of intuition would be the mother who was leaving
have – and use – the gift of intuition. However, there are very few of her young infant at a new daycare center. She didn’t feel comfortable but
them that know and understand what intuition is. Most men are male thought she was just being silly. She left the child anyway and had marked the
thinkers and use facts and logic to analyze their data. They draw their diaper to check and see if they changed the child during the day. The child had
conclusions based on what is in their face, so to speak. on the same diaper she had put on that morning when she picked up the child
Webster describes intuition as the immediate knowing of some- that afternoon. Needless to say, the child never went back to that daycare,
thing without the conscious use of reasoning. You sense – or just know and the mom started listening to her intuitions.
– when something is not right. Sometimes, it is also referred to as “gut People that are spiritually minded are aware of a gift called dis-
feelings.” Intuition is a God-given tool or gauge to measure physical, cernment, which is very similar to intuition. Discernment is a gift of the
emotional, spiritual and relational situations that are potentially danger- Holy Spirit and is an awareness that the Holy Spirit gives of a particular
ous. I believe that when you are aware of this gift, then you can fine tune situation being safe or not safe, good or bad and peaceful or conflictual.
it and become even more adept at using it for your good and well-being (This is a broad generalization; but, hopefully, you get the idea.) The Bible
and for helping other people. Women are not usually as physically strong tells us in Matthew 10:16,“Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as inno-
as men are, so having intuition – and understanding how to use it – can cent as doves.”
be an invaluable tool. So, begin to listen to that inner voice
I know women who have walked into situations where they felt and focus on what it tells you. When you learn how
uncomfortable and maybe even became aware or sensed danger and got
it communicates, take note to see if what your intuition or discernment
out of that situation immediately. Later, they found out that they proba-
tells you turns out to be correct. Get used to its sound or feeling. Trust
bly saved their lives!
it, learn from it and use it with wisdom.
There have been women who became involved in relationships
Remember that this is not spooky or new age; it is a gift of the
that just did not seem right, yet they ignored their intuition and got blast-
Holy Spirit that is given to us to cultivate
ed emotionally. If it doesn’t seem right, maybe you
and use to help and protect
should get out. Or at least investigate the facts.
us and our families.
You can choose to ignore intuition,
or you can learn to use it for your advantage.
Learn to use wisdom when making decisions
based on intuition. The best approach, when
possible, would be to get the facts and then go
with your gut. However, be smart about what you
do and say. Speak out and declare,“My intuition is
telling me thus and so.” Don’t just say,“I feel . . .” or
“My gut says . . .” Explain yourself more thorough-
ly and make yourself credible sounding.
Using
Wisdom:
Women’s Intuition
& Discernment
Ouida K. Page is a Master’s Prepared Licensed Professional and National Board Certified
Counselor. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau
(International Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville
and Florence areas for over 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children,
adolescents and women of all ages. She is married and has one son who has graduated
from Wofford College. To contact Ouida, you may call 843-398-0915. You may also contact
her by e-mailing editor@shemagazine.com with “Ouida” as the subject matter.
121 7/23/10 10:16 AM Page 1
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Dr. Avie
with Avie J. Rainwater, III, Ph.D., ABPP
Dear Reader,
Wow, this question reminds me of just how a mother’s work is never family’s spiritual faith, but she also has to find her place of comfort in implementing
done. Unfortunately, it also brings to mind two unsettling facts: One, teenage these in her life. Then, she can be herself – even her developing self – and be
girls can be very mean; and, two, high school is just a rough time in general. able to talk and interact with people comfortably.
Why is it rough? Everyone – and I do mean everyone (even the girls We are all drawn to people with a quiet sense of self-assurance (not
and boys in the cliques) – is just doing anything they can to fit in. You may arrogance or conceit); thus, that change will go a long way in helping solve her
remember in high school feeling alternatively pretty good about yourself and social interaction struggles. To do this, however, at this stage in the game, she
wondering if you were, in fact, the most detestable person on campus. As an will probably need some psychotherapeutic support. Simply put, with only
adult, you are (hopefully) way past this type of conflict in your life, but it is a two years of high school left, the stakes are too high to continue to try to
very real conundrum for your daughters. work things out on her own. Your daughter needs a strong resolution to these
Yes, both of your daughters; but, it seems one of them is coping well, problem areas so she’ll be sufficiently self-confident and secure to be able to
while the other is struggling. It is important, however, to remind yourself that handle the next level of challenges (e.g., the next developmental phase is “inti-
they are both going through the same developmental challenge – identity. The macy versus isolation”) without succumbing to all the new pressures and chal-
developmental task of life at your daughters’ ages is resolving “identity” ver- lenges she’ll face at college. With a sufficient sense of self (i.e., identity), the
sus “role confusion.” Who am I? How do I become myself, who I am sup- challenges of intimacy is frequently misunderstood as being simply sexual.
posed to be? What is my life going to be about? How do I learn to be myself Thus, at college, away from parental restraints, physical involvement is found
and to be accepted for who I am? Accomplishing this task, gaining a sense of to bring a form of intimacy, but it also robs the person of learning how to
self – and of self-worth – is of monumental importance. In later life, this will gain true emotional intimacy. Obviously, that error leads to a whole new
serve your daughters well as a women. set of even more devastating problems.
Life is funny, though, because we have to satisfy this self-mystery dur- There are obvious things that can be addressed in psychotherapy. Is
ing a very uncertain time in life – or so it seems. Actually, the opposite is true. your daughter interacting in weird ways with others? Is she self-sabotaging
It is an uncertainty precisely because the dilemma hasn’t been resolved. The her interactions? Are your daughter’s social skills inadequate? Maybe she has-
stronger we get in our sense of self, the less uncertain our life becomes. It n’t learned to dress and make herself up in attractive ways. Is she beginning
still may not be easy, but at least we can tackle the challenges with confidence to be sexually active as a way of fitting in? If, as a junior in high school, the
when we have adequate self-assurance. answer to any of these questions is yes, then she needs to begin seeing a psy-
The essential key is that your struggling daughter must develop chologist at once. All of these skill sets can be learned easily in counseling and
enough self-assurance to be able to have an internal sense of what is good and implemented rapidly so the balance of her high school career can be enjoy-
right for her. She will draw upon your family’s morals and the values of your able – and successful on many levels.
Obstetrics, Gynecology
and Infertility
C. Dale Lusk, MD
B. Edward O’Dell, MD
Paul E. Chandler, MD
J. Michael Davidson, MD
Mark A. Hucks, MD
843.662.2299
901 East Cheves Street, Suite 200 • Florence, SC www.advancedwomenscare.com
124 7/23/10 10:20 AM Page 1
Paige Self Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey, and two Sheltie pups. She has three grown sons and four stepchildren. She works part-time as
Business Administrator for the Francis Marion University Center for the Child, and she is currently licensed as a Realtor with Prudential Segars Realty in Florence.
125 7/23/10 10:23 AM Page 1
1970 E.Hwy 76
Marion, SC
843-423-2492
62 Public Square
Darlington, SC
843-395-2252
\ I heard a definition of wisdom once that I love: Wisdom is the ability to man-
age life and to make good decisions.
In today’s culture, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that you can’t have
a full and complete life if you’re single. Most of our popular movies, television programs,
literature and advertising images are centered around the idea that you need to find that one
special someone who will save you from your life, complete you (thanks, Jerry Maguire) and
set you on the path towards happily-ever-after. And, by the way, lots of products are
beneath your means. This means you spend less than you make. Period. Once you’re
doing that, you have the cash to pay off your debts (critically important) and to save.
You must invest in your retirement and plan for your future. Don’t know how
to do that? Start reading. I love the money section on the msn.com website; it’s easy
to understand. Pick up a book on the subject at the library or bookstore. I recom-
mend any of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad books by Robert T. Kiyosaki or The Millionaire
Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko. Go see a Certified Financial
available for purchase to help you find that “special someone” faster. Planner or Certified Financial Analyst for some face-to-face guidance.
If you’re single now, it’s a possibility that you will remain single. However, Don’t wait around hoping a man will save you financially. You may remain sin-
between the high divorce rate (51% on first marriages) and the biological fact that gle, or your Prince Charming may not have the financial resources you wanted. Be finan-
women outlive men by an average of seven years, it’s highly probable that many married cially healthy regardless of your marital status.
women will become single again. Tip #3: Take care of yourself. It’s easy to start thinking there’s something
Either way, you want to have a happy life. Everybody wants to feel secure, have wrong with you when you feel like a single in a world of couples. Almost every single
peace and be happy. If you’re hoping to “find someone,” I promise that men are very man and woman I know has felt (in the past or currently) that there is something wrong
attracted to women who have their lives in order and who can live independently and with him or her.
confidently. Plus, if you already have a great life, you won’t desperately settle for a man Now, if there is something “wrong” with you, work on “fixing” it. Do the best
who ends up not being such a great guy. you can with what you have. If you’re a single woman looking for a man, you need to
So, here are some words of wisdom to help my single girls as you make your know that appearance matters because men are visually stimulated. You don’t have to
way in the world. (Okay, I know you guys are reading this. You’ll enjoy it, too.) be a supermodel, but spruce up a little bit. Is your hairstyle flattering? Is your makeup
Tip #1: Friends are not forever. I used to say,“Men come and go, but your attractive and age-appropriate? Do you look and feel
friends are forever.” Most of us have experienced the “breakup” of a friendship with a confident in your clothes? Do you look friendly and
girl pal, and I think it’s worse than the end of any romantic relationship. People grow approachable?
and change. We mature in our opinions and attitudes. We have new life experiences You also need to take care of yourself
and our priorities change. If you have one friend that you remain in a relationship with beyond the physical. Finding a mate isn’t going to
for your entire life, you are in the minority. change who you are. If you’re not happy now, you
Some of the friendships that were really important to me a few years ago are won’t be happy with the guy of your dreams. As
not so healthy for me now. I used to believe that friendships had to last a lifetime, but I’ve said many times before, your dream guy
now I view them as I would an article of clothing – I probably don’t need to hang on to probably won’t be attracted to you in a
it forever. One of you may outgrow the relationship. Maybe it will be you; maybe it will depressed state. Men like happy women.
be your friend. Relationships go through seasons. Sometimes you’re close as can be; Do whatever you need to do to
other times you drift away. have a happy, joyful life – right now!
One way to have healthy friendships is to diversify – have several friendships. That’s the best way to attract love. And
My “best friend” in Florence has been my BFF for about eight years now. When she even if you don’t meet Mr. Right, you’ll
started having children, I was afraid that she would leave me behind and want friends feel better! Eat right, exercise, put your
who were moms. She was afraid I wouldn’t want to be her friend because she’d be a home in order, clean out your car, find a
“boring mom” (her words, not mine). Over the years, our relationship has changed. therapist, volunteer, adopt a pet or take
No, we don’t go out for “girl’s night” very often. We opt for lunch, instead. Sometimes, up meditation. Just get involved in some-
I get tired of hearing stories about her children, and sometimes she wishes I would offer thing healthy and positive. This will help
to babysit. We’ve had to adapt to our new life circumstances, but she still holds the you be happy whether or not you end
“best friend” title. We’ve just grown into a different kind of friendship. up as part of a couple.
Because my bestie isn’t as available now that she has children, I’ve added in Definitely, you must stop play-
some additional friends. But no one person is going to be a perfect fit for every area ing the “there’s something wrong with
of your life. Stop looking for the “perfect friend” who you can do everything with. me” tape in your head. Change what you
Expand your collection. I go to the movies with Kristin (but her favorite genre is hor- think needs changing, and then just accept
ror – which horrifies me – so she always has to ask another friend to go to those). I yourself for who you are.
attend the symphony with Katie. I watch sports with Terri. I talk about spirituality with If you need a romantic rela-
Nancy. I eat sushi with Julia. I shop with Shawna. Find a different friend for the differ- tionship to validate that you are okay,
ent aspects of your life. you will never experience peace and
Diversifying in this way will also protect you when you have problems in a security because that person will con-
friendship. When one of my friends is busy with work or a new boyfriend, I don’t feel stantly have to reassure you. And most
lonely. I just call another girl. And if a friendship is fading, let it go. Maybe it’ll people get weary of that kind of insecu-
come back, or maybe it’s time for it to fade away. Don’t be afraid to let go. You’ll rity. They leave, and you are devastated.
find new friends. Don’t put your happiness,
The best way to find friends? I was told, “If you want a friend, be a friend.” peace and joy on hold until Prince
There are a lot of lonely people in the world. Reach out and be a friend. Charming shows up. Live now! And even
Tip #2: Get your financial house in order. I could fill up this entire mag- if he is delayed for a while, you won’t
azine with advice on managing your finances, but let me sum up the basics with this: Live notice because you’ll be loving life.
Mary R. Dittman, MBA, is an Instructor of Marketing and Director of the Internship Program in the School of Business at Francis Marion
University. She consults for a variety of local and regional companies and is actively involved in the Florence community.
127 7/23/10 3:08 PM Page 1
BRAINS OR BRAWN -
Which are you most
blessed with?
2
Kyle Sawyer - Marion
“Fortunately, I was blessed with a proper combination of the two. I have an artistic mind,
which requires a complex imagination and a high IQ. I’m also an athletic genius, for which
I need a high degree of body and strength control, as well as hand and eye coordination.”
3
Paul Shaw - Scranton
“It’s 50/50 with me. Using my brain enables me to think of the most efficient way to work out
a problem. Having brawn but no brain can lead to unnecessary effort and wasted time.”
4
Matthew Ammons - Marion
“I was most blessed with brains. I’m the smartest person I know!”
131 7/23/10 12:46 PM Page 1
Visit us at www.HopkinsBuildersLLC.com or
Contact us at 843-992-4697 or HopkinsBuilders1@aol.com
THE DOCTOR IS IN
Vitamin D
The Sunshine Vitamin
DR. LYNNE MARONEY
BOARD CERTIFIED IN INTERNAL MEDICINE
MCLEOD SENIOR HEALTH ASSOCIATES
“Get plenty of fresh air and sunshine!” Where have we protect our cardiovascular system, as studies show that illness from
heard that before? Sunshine, or more specifically, sunlight’s UV-B peripheral artery disease, heart failure, and coronary artery disease
radiation, creates vitamin D within our skin, which helps our bodies increase as our vitamin D levels decrease. Evidence suggests a
build strong bones, muscles, and immune system and may help vitamin D role in the metabolic syndrome of insulin resistance,
protect us from certain cancers, cardiovascular disease and falls as hypertension, and obesity.The role of vitamin D in cancer research
we age. Good news, except studies show that the number of is exciting. When breast cancer cells have vitamin D receptors,
vitamin D deprived Caucasian Americans has almost doubled in the remission periods are longer and when blood levels of vitamin D
last fifteen years. Only ten percent of African are optimized, the cancer cells grow more
American and Latino Americans are vitamin D slowly, and die like natural cells. Cancer and
sufficient. Sunscreens, whether they are the “We are more obese, vitamin D are active areas of research as
pigment in our skin or lotion from a bottle, storing fat-soluble scientists continue to further understand its role
reduce the amount of sunlight striking our skin’s in cancer prevention as well as in treatment.
epidermal layer. We drink less milk, which is vitamin D in our A simple blood test at your doctor’s
vitamin D fortified. We are more obese, storing body fat, instead of office will let you know your vitamin D level,
fat-soluble vitamin D in our body fat, instead of and vitamin D is available with and without
circulating in our blood supply. Most of us are
circulating in our calcium at any drug store over-the-counter if
vitamin D deficient or insufficient. blood supply. Most of your doctor advises a daily supplement.Vitamin
Why is vitamin D important? D deficiency or insufficiency is usually treated
us are vitamin D
Technically, vitamin D is not a vitamin - it is a with prescription-strength vitamin D weekly
hormone that our body uses for mineral deficient or insufficient.” for 12 weeks followed by daily vitamin D3
balance and skeletal features. We have known supplements. Sunlight remains an excellent
for generations that vitamin D builds a healthy source of vitamin D, but is seasonally and
musculo-skeletal system. Rickets in children is the best known geographically limited and is associated with non-melanoma skin
example of vitamin D deficiency and fortified milk, sunlight, cod-liver cancers. Maximum vitamin D levels can take 1 to 2 months to
oil, calcium and vitamin D supplements are used in its treatment. In achieve from sunlight.
our older population, scientists believe adequate vitamin D levels As we discover more about vitamin D’s effect on our bodies
may reduce risk of falls and fractures by strengthening muscles, and the prevention of illness, the advice to “get plenty of fresh air
stabilizing gait, and maintaining bone density. Vitamin D appears to and sunshine” sounds pretty good!
Dr. Lynnne Maroney is pleased to be back “home” in the Pee Dee region, and is accepting new patients at the new
McLeod Senior Heath Associates, a practice focusing on patients ages 55 and older.To make an appointment, please call (843) 777 - 7341.
McLeod Senior Health Associates is located in McLeod Medical Park East,305 E. Cheves Street, Suite120, in Florence.
133 7/23/10 2:21 PM Page 1
1303 W. EVANS S
FLORENCE, SC
(843) 468-9700
7142 WOODROW ST. • IRMO, SC • (803) 796-9296
134 7/23/10 2:16 PM Page 1
135 7/23/10 10:31 AM Page 1
Business
Women
Love To
Barter
Carolina
Barter EXCHANGE
www.Barter.sc
(866)532-4725 Info@ Barter.sc
136 7/23/10 3:09 PM Page 1
_|yx
“The more sand that has escaped
from the hourglass of our life,
fxx
the clearer we should see through it.”
- Jean Paul
137 7/23/10 12:51 PM Page 1
BLAIR
MY FAMILY:
John and Tina Dean
MY TOWN: Florence, SC
DEAN
MY SCHOOL: South Florence High School
To schedule an appointment with one of our physicians, simply call one of the office numbers listed below.
Jon H. Docherty, Sr., M.D. Badri Giri, M.D. Raina Karanjeet, M.D.
Pee Dee Internal Medicine Pee Dee Internal Medicine Pee Dee Internal Medicine
of Carolinas of Carolinas of Carolinas
Medical Mall C, Suite 100 Medical Mall C, Suite 100 Medical Mall C, Suite 100
1594 Freedom Boulevard 1594 Freedom Boulevard 1594 Freedom Boulevard
(843) 674-4760 (843) 674-4760 (843) 674-4760
Krista M. Kozacki, M.D. Traesa Brown, M.D. Ezra Ash, M.D. Eduardo Donato, Jr., M.D.
Carolinas Family Physicians Carolinas Family Physicians Pee Dee Family Physicians Carolinas Medical Practice
Medical Mall B, Suite 230 Medical Mall B, Suite 230 Medical Mall C, Suite 202 Medical Mall C, Suite 102
805 Pamplico Highway 805 Pamplico Highway 1594 Freedom Boulevard 1594 Freedom Boulevard
(843) 674-4764 (843) 674-4764 (843) 664-9696 (843) 679-4221