How To Express Emotion[subtitles using inown.

org]

0:35.34 hello everyone. today's episode

is about how to express emotion.

0:41.64 emotions are energy and energy

has to go somewhere.

0:45.60 so when you suppress that

energy your emotions.

0:49.43 instead of express that energy it sits

in your body and rots it from within.

0:55.95 when you suppress emotion your body

starts to deteriorate.

1:01.14 but that's not the only thing that starts to deteriorate

the world around you start to deteriorate.

1:05.85 because even though you

suppress those emotions.

1:09.03 those emotions, vibrations still exist and so they're

still a point of attraction within this universe.

1:17.41 and as we know the universe must match the vibrations

which we are off-putting and we are offering.

1:25.11 the only emotions that you can heal are the ones that

you let yourself feel and let yourself express.

1:31.83 in order to feel our emotions,

1:35.58 we have to be willing

to risk vulnerability.

1:38.31 vulnerability can be very difficult especially for those

of us that equate vulnerability with getting hurt.

1:44.37 so it seems very risky for us to allow ourselves

to come in to touch her own emotions.

1:49.32 but you can't heal any of the emotions which you

feel and your life will go very very bad for you.

1:56.27 if you can't risk that from your ability and at least allow

yourself to touch on those emotions and express them.

 2:05.18 if i were to lock two

people in a closet.

2:08.16 what you see is a natural progression of

expression.

2:11.91 those two people would usually start in

a place of anger.

2:15.96 they'd be yelling at each other.

2:17.71 they'd be blaming each other.

2:19.29 they talk about resentments.

2:21.01 but soon one person would come down to

the level of hurt and disappointment.

2:29.65 they would talk about how much it hurt

them what the other person did.

2:34.42 how disappointed they were.

2:35.99 they would talk about

the level of sadness.

2:39.02 and very soon after that one person would begin

to express their fears, their insecurities.

2:45.70 the real thing which is

underneath her angry.

2:49.56 and once somebody expressed

that either of them

2:52.95 or the next person would actually progress to

the next level of expression of emotions.

2:58.79 which is of course understanding

and regret.

3:01.87 so that person would then

say I totally understand.

3:07.48 I'm so sorry that you feel that way.

3:09.60 I know that I can be difficult

sometimes because.
 3:12.57 and very soon after that they would reach the furthest

progression of expression which is love,

3:19.26 solutions, and tensions, and wishes.

3:21.76 so that person with them say,

I really do care about you.

3:26.20 I'm really sorry and this is the suggestion

i might have for how to make it better.

3:32.65 that's the natural progression.

3:35.10 that the expression of emotions takes regardless

of who it is that's in the room.

3:40.77 now we just explained this scenario in the context

of two people being locked in a room.

3:46.31 but the truth is the same thing happens when we lock

ourselves in the room and look at our own emotions.

3:52.69 we use this model of natural

expression of emotions.

3:58.46 and we mimic that model when we're trying

to deliberately express emotions

4:03.46 that we are currently out of touch with.

4:05.92 we use this model of natural expression, to tell the complete

truth about our internal States and how we're really feeling.

4:12.70 let me explain.

4:15.85 I want you to think of these different

layers of emotional expression like a building.

4:19.96 and this building has five levels and based on our upbringing,

based on who we are as people personality-wise.

4:28.94 we are taught that it's appropriate to go

to some of these layers of the building.

4:33.35 floors you could think

of them and not others.

 4:36.13 so for some people it's appropriate

to go to sadness and disappointment.

4:41.57 it's appropriate to cry, but

it's not okay to get angry.

4:45.15 so that person has been taught that it's not

okay to go to level one of this building.

4:51.95 another person might have been raised to believe

that it is inappropriate to express fear.

4:58.15 they can't express insecurity, but it's

okay to go to the level of anger.

5:03.19 so they may not be allowed to go to level

three but they can go to level one.

5:09.99 our healing depends on our willingness to

go to every single level of that building.

5:15.85 and express the complete truth

about how it is that we feel.

5:20.18 and we express this truth

by going in order.

5:24.61 so here's the order for you now. the first

level was; anger, resentment, fury,

5:32.08 blame and repelling the

other person or ourselves.

5:37.18 the second is; disappointment,

sadness and hurt.

5:42.81 the third is; insecurity, fear,

bad, memories and deep wounds.

5:48.19 the fourth is; understanding, empathy,

responsibility and regret.

5:53.56 the fifth is; love, solutions, wishes and connecting

with the other person or with ourselves.

6:03.19 so what you want to do is to put yourself in a room

where you don't have to be disturbed by anybody.

 6:08.37 and I want you to either type this out on the computer

write it out or to speak verbally to yourself.

6:15.49 I want you to express your emotions relative to

every single layer emotionally in succession.

6:22.93 beginning with anger and progressing

down the list.

6:26.08 here's an example of

how that would go.

6:28.68 if i was the woman in previous scenario that was out

with my mate and he kept called another woman.

6:34.60 I would go home later and I

would sit down in my room

6:38.48 and I would begin by expressing the anger I felt

relative to the situation, all of it.

6:44.14 so what I'm about to demonstrate

to you as an abridged version.

6:47.88 you want to express every emotion relative to the

one layer of that building that you're on.

6:55.14 before you move to the next.

6:56.77 so the abridged version.

6:58.72 for example, level 1:

anger and resentment.

7:03.67 I'm so incredibly angry at you when you act as

if other women are more beautiful than I am.

7:08.53 I regret the day I married you.

7:10.84 I hate the fact that I gave the

best years of my life to you.

7:14.07 and I blame you for the fact that i'm living

such a miserable life in this relationship.

7:19.06 this is not the time to be

delicate with your emotions.

 7:22.54 this is the time to express the

nitty-gritty

7:26.38 darkest aspects of what you're actually feeling.

7:28.49 once you've expressed all the

anger you move on to level two.

7:31.83 which is of course the level

of disappointment and hurt.

7:35.56 so it looks like this

7:37.59 i am so sad that I thought in the

beginning of this relationship.

7:42.99 that everything was going

to go well for us

7:45.18 and it turned out like every relationship

I've had before.

7:47.74 I'm so incredibly disappointed that nothing

that I ever want works out for me.

7:53.74 I'm disappointed that I can't

find a man who appreciates me.

7:58.91 it makes me so sad that I dedicated

the best years of my life to you.

8:04.06 it makes me so incredibly sad

8:06.81 that no matter what I do I can't feel as if

there's love in this relationship.

8:12.78 after you express all

of the emotions

8:16.05 that you have in your being relative to hurt

and disappointment and sadness.

8:21.64 you progress down to the layer of insecurities

and fears, deep wounds.

8:27.29 so it would look like this.

 8:29.23 I'm so afraid that I'll never get my

body back after i had our children.

8:34.84 I'm scared that I'm not the

person that you married.

8:37.47 I'm afraid that one day

I'm going to wake up

8:39.67 and realize that you've left me for another woman

because I'm not beautiful enough for you.

8:43.69 and that reminds me of when

I was a little girl

8:46.62 and my father always used to find fault with my

appearance I was never good enough for him.

8:51.67 you see our fears always have to do with

bad memories.

8:56.53 that's why we seem to overreact relative

to every situation.

9:00.67 even little things

9:02.02 they're not really little things because they're

linked to very big things.

9:05.57 very big things that are

deep inside of our memory.

9:09.99 after you have expressed all

of your emotion

9:13.28 relative to the lair of fear and securities

and bad memories and deep wounds.

9:17.56 don't be surprised if you have a serious emotional

release relative to this particular level.

9:23.74 this is the layer of vulnerability,

which we are really looking for.

9:27.81 this is where real healing takes place.

 9:30.32 once you're done with that you want to progress down

to level 4. which is understanding, empathy, regret.

9:41.52 so this is what that would look like;

9:44.41 i understand how difficult it must be to be with somebody

who is so different than the woman that you married.

9:52.47 I regret the fact that i

have such low self-worth.

9:57.37 that I can't just watch you

say that to somebody else

10:01.20 and not take it personally

every single time.

10:04.03 I know how hard it must be for you to feel

like you're walking on glass or egg shells.

10:08.91 once you've expressed all of your emotions relative

to that particular level of the building.

10:15.78 you sink down to the next level, level

five.

10:19.08 our love, solutions, intentions,

wishes and sense of connection.

10:23.82 so this is how this would look;

10:26.46 I really do love you, I care

what you think about me.

10:31.05 I wish that we could have the

kind of relationship

10:34.18 where you could say anything you

wanted to somebody else.

10:36.52 and that didn't have anything

to do with our relationship.

10:39.03 and I think it might be a good idea if

you will watch the kids once a week.

10:44.02 that i can go to the gym

 10:45.89 and I can start gaining some

self-confidence.

10:48.69 and I can be the person

who I was who I really am.

10:54.66 once you have done this

full process

10:57.58 you have expressed the complete

truth about how you feel

11:01.70 and the truth exists on all

layers of this building.

11:05.14 then real healing can take place because

you can see what the actual issue is.

11:09.71 so you might choose then to look over your list

of all the levels for specific bullet points.

11:15.76 and then write a letter to

the person that you love.

11:19.26 of course you don't

have to do that.

11:20.65 you can just keep to yourself

if you like to,

11:22.52 because the most important part is

that you expressed it.

11:24.08 but you might want to take this a

bit further and heal even more

11:27.77 by expressing it to the person who was

involved in that circumstance

11:31.67 which is now causing you emotional pain.

11:33.57 so you might want to look over

that list for highlights.

11:36.87 things that you feel are incredibly important

to express to them and then do so.

 11:41.99 when you're involved in a

couple type relationship.

11:46.89 any kind of relationship really as long as both

couples are amenable to doing this process.

11:53.72 you can apply this by sitting

down across the table and agreeing

11:56.59 that when you have a conflict come

up you're not going to get an immediate argument.

12:01.35 what you're going to do is you're going to

sit down on opposite sides of this table.

12:04.17 and one of you is going to start,

12:06.49 the other one doesn't get to talk.

12:08.43 and the person who's talking first gets to go from

the top all the way through all the levels

12:14.33 and express themselves completely

without the other one talking.

12:18.10 and then the other person

gets to do the same thing

12:21.29 they have to start all the

way back of anger

12:23.70 and go all the way down through all the levels

expressing their truth to the other person.

12:28.08 now you might notice if you are the second

person going in the line

12:32.49 that after the first person is expressed the

complete truth about how they feel

12:36.39 the last thing you want to

do is go back to anger.

12:38.74 but its necessary for you to express

your story in this way

12:42.03 and by doing this you'll be able

to find some real solutions.

 12:45.06 and you won't be walking around with all

of the suppressed energy inside you.

12:49.83 for those of you that have a very difficult

time accessing your emotions.

12:54.35 i'm going to give you some probing questions which

will help you to access the emotions

12:59.89 relative to each one of these levels.

13:01.62 the first being anger.

13:04.92 I hate it when..

13:07.32 I am so angry that..

13:10.39 I'm set up with..

13:13.11 I am filled with rage when..

13:17.45 then the next; I feel

so disappointed that..

13:22.43 I feel so sad when..

13:24.81 the thing that hurts me so badly is..

13:28.64 this is why it hurts me so badly.

13:31.61 and now the next level,

13:33.90 I'm afraid that..

13:35.59 what I'm truly afraid of is..

13:38.54 it scares me when..

13:40.98 it reminds me of..

13:43.88 now the next level,

13:47.87 I'm sorry that..

13:49.61 please forgive me for..

13:52.10 it is completely understandable that..

13:56.33 I regret that..

13:58.70 I understand that..

14:01.85 and now the last level;

14:05.08 I want to..

 14:06.77 I forgive you for..

14:08.98 I hope that..

14:10.61 thank you for..

14:14.22 I appreciate you because..

14:16.66 I love you because..

14:18.53 it is reasonable to expect that at the end of this

process you will feel incredibly vulnerable.

14:25.44 you will access that raw space which

most of us are very uncomfortable of.

14:29.73 most of us try to numb

it out with pills

14:32.77 or numb it out with addictions or

numb it out in other ways.

14:36.79 but I promise you that if you allow

yourself to be with that rawness.

14:42.48 you will have access to healing

14:45.10 your life will start to improve

because that emotion.

14:48.57 you can't just ignore

and suppress it.

14:51.73 it will come out if not verbally it will come

out through your subconscious actions.

14:56.82 it will come out through your body via illness

if you don't express that emotion.

15:02.44 and your relationships will not

succeed if you suppress emotions.

15:08.41 because essentially,

energetically.

15:12.04 every time you are in a relationship

with someone
 15:16.58 that relationship can be compared to two

cylinders, two glasses of water.

15:22.47 and the glasses of water have

a hose in between them

15:26.22 and when one of these glasses of

water suppresses their emotion.

15:30.02 it pushes the emotion through the

hose up the other glass of water.

15:34.26 this is why you often find in relationships

that there is one crazy partner

15:39.24 and one really stable partner.

15:41.09 who is always going what the

hell is wrong with you.

15:43.86 it's because the really stable one

is suppressing their emotion

15:48.48 and that emotion is now going through the hose and is

expressing itself through the conduit partner

15:55.22 the one who naturally expresses.

15:57.16 the problem is, if two people in a relationship

begins to suppress that emotion.

16:03.14 the hose in between the two

glasses of water breaks

16:06.53 and relationships will no longer continue.

16:08.94 or the suppressor will

suppress that emotion

16:12.20 and the other partner will get so incredibly

tired of feeling crazy.

16:16.52 because they're not only dealing

with their own emotions

16:19.15 they're doing with the other

person's emotions.
 16:20.79 that they feel as if they have

to end the relationship.

16:24.09 so expressing your emotions not only

the key to physical health

16:28.28 down to the key having a relationship work.

16:30.69 it's also the key to you feeling

a sense of peace.

16:33.32 getting raw and getting vulnerable

is incredibly beneficial

16:37.87 and it's necessary if we are ever to find

any kind of balance here in our lives.

16:59.49 so try this process, I hope

it benefits you.

17:10.43 have a good week! How To Express Your

Emotion[subtitles using inown.org]