In a word: Girls – be careful!

- SPECIAL REPORTS - VietNamNet 10-07-18 12:29 AM

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In a word: Girls – be careful! TOP STORIES

Last update 05:55, Thursday, 15/04/2010 (GMT+7)

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VietNamNet Bridge – We’ve translated and summarized a series of stories from the online
paper VietNam Express about the booming business of brokering marriages between
Vietnamese women and Korean men. The stories have triggered hundreds of letters to VietNam Aviation body wants VietJet Air to
Express from its readers. Here are typical reader’s comments. be genuinely local
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As a Vietnamese man, I always protest Vietnamese girls marrying foreign men. The Special editions mark reunification day
fundamental solution is creating jobs for rural women so they can have stable sources of .
income and can live in their homeland. If that’s not done, this situation will persist forever, even
though the law forbids it. I hope the state can solve the fundamental problem. (Duong Phan)

I’m sad. Many girls have not cared about their honor just because of money. Even sadder,
Vietnamese law is too loose. (Bui Tan Man)

Who will Vietnamese men marry? Korean women don’t want to marry unsuccessful men so
Korean men go to Vietnam to seek wives. Where will Vietnamese men go to seek wives? (Thu
Nam)

Government agencies must intervene. It’s so sad to read stories about Vietnamese girls who
are maltreated or even killed by their Korean boyfriends in Vietnam. Please be watchful, you
Vietnamese girls who dream of marrying foreign men! In my view, Government agencies must
do more to educate girls and deter such marriages, to minimize unfortunate consequences.

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In a word: Girls – be careful! - SPECIAL REPORTS - VietNamNet 10-07-18 12:29 AM

(Quang Tuan)

Learn from Cambodia. Our male-female balance is at an alarming level already. Vietnam
should learn from Cambodia and adjust the laws on marriage with foreign men. Further, these
Korean grooms don’t have good jobs. They belong to low social classes in their country and
local women don’t want to marry them. But they can immediately have young, pretty and
obedient, especially… cheap wives when they go to Vietnam. Does anyone feel this pain?
(Nguyen Trung Nam)

Vietnamese people in the eyes of foreigners. As an overseas student, I felt great anguish
when a Taiwanese asked me “How is it that we can buy Vietnamese girls at such cheap
prices?” Good Taiwanese friends told me that if I know any girl who wants to marry a
Taiwanese men, I should tell them to not do it because 99 percent of Taiwanese grooms are
rural or disabled men. (Nguyen Tuan Anh)

Gambling their lives. The young women don’t understand about overseas life. All of them
imagine that foreign countries are heaven, places where they can have a new life. That is the
mistake that any naive girl can make.

It is very difficult to integrate into the life of foreign countries because of cultural and lifestyle
differences. It is also lonely. Everyone has to work to maintain their lives. In a developed
country, they have to work very hard.

Girls, don’t believe your lives will become happy if you get married to a foreign man. Those
who gamble with their lives and are unlucky must pay a very high price. It’s better to respect
your values and strive to make a happy life in your homeland. (Ta Duc Thong)

Disguised trafficking. It is very sad to read these stories. Are Vietnamese women so cheap?
What can we do to stop this situation? Why doesn’t Vietnam ban such marriages like
Cambodia? We should raise our voices in our communities about this issue. Let’s do what we
can to stop it! (Minh Vien)

Create a good environment for Vietnamese women. I don’t understand why we ask the state
to copy Cambodia’s policy. It is a human right to marry anyone one likes, if they have civil
capacity. Why should we prohibit Vietnamese people from marrying the people of this or that
country. Suppose such people are in love? Cambodia only bans temporary marriages with
foreigners and I think they are seeking an optimal method.

I think that nobody wants to marry someone they don’t love, who is much older than them, and
with whom there are language and cultural barriers. You Vietnamese men need to take a good
look at yourselves and they way you treat women.

Our society needs to create jobs and better conditions for women to become more socially
aware. If foreign men want to marry Vietnamese women, we should not ban them but help our
women to learn more about foreign men so they can make good decisions. (Andy)

Why bar people from making choices? Why should the State prohibit Vietnamese men or
women from marrying foreigners? They have the right to choose. We should organize clubs, for
example a club for Korean grooms in Vietnam and a club for Vietnamese brides in South
Korea.

These clubs can provide information for people to learn about each other, the culture, customs
and habits of both countries. They will also protect the interest of Vietnamese brides in South
Korea.

Please don’t think that if you can’t control something you ought to ban it! If our newspapers only
report about Korean-Vietnamese marriages turning out badly, it will hurt Vietnamese brides,
their Korean husbands and especially their children when they visit their mother’s homeland.

Girls can take care of their lives. If they are happy, they will stay abroad, otherwise they will
return home. Some may unluckily marrry brutal men but that ratio is not high, otherwise they
would not go to Korea. It is better to live far from home if you can have a better life and send
some money home to the parents than to live in Vietnam with a despotic husband who forbids
a wife to help her parents. (Fiat1.6)

Legal framework lacking. Sixty-five percent of the foreign brides in South Korea are Chinese
and Vietnamese. Getting married to foreign men happens in other countries, too. But how it
happens and how it differd in each country is the issue of law.

Rural girls have the right to wish for a better life and to be able to assist their families. They

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In a word: Girls – be careful! - SPECIAL REPORTS - VietNamNet 10-07-18 12:29 AM

Rural girls have the right to wish for a better life and to be able to assist their families. They
marry the foreign men voluntarily. We only lack a proper legal framework. (Vinh)

Education and jobs are the key. Do you see any girl who has graduated from a university or
has a stable job lining up at the marriage brokers to get a Korean or Taiwanese husband? If
one has no job, one dreams of changing one’s life. And why would any woman prefer a
Vietnamese husband if he’s a drunken oaf, a wife-beater and one who disdains her parents? If
that were my only choice here, probably I’d think of marrying a foreigner myself. (Le Annie)

Marriage brokers ought to be heavily punished. Why don’t government agencies intervene
to prevent such activities? (Anh Minh)

Korean grooms are really very poor. I’m working in South Korea so I know about real life
there. My advice is not to marry a Korean man because they are really poor. Their income is no
more than the income of workers like me and they are all from rural areas. Often they leave
their foreign wives at home with their parents while they work in industrial zones, and only come
back home one every few months. Elderly Koreans are often very demanding, so many
Vietnamese brides are treated badly.

Moreover, many men only marry you to have children. If you can’t bear a child, you may be
divorced and sent home. Sometimes after giving birth to a child, you’ll be sent home
anyway. Another matter is that in your first years in South Korea, you don’t have Korean
nationality so you are not protected by the local laws. You can become victims of violence.
(Hoang)

It is quite common. I see this ‘brokerage’ going on every day. Sometimes the girls have to
strip naked for the Korean men to choose. At 107 Nguyen Du, District 1, HCM City you can see
top brokers, both Korean and Vietnamese. It is sad that ‘selections’ take place publicly at two
schools, Nguyen Du and the Conservatory of Music. I hope the authorities do something to stop
it. (Thanh Hoang)

There is no happiness when you are tricked. I’m living in South Korea with my Korean
husband. I married him through brokerage. I cried when I was chosen by my husband from
among hundreds of girls. I agreed to follow him within several minutes. At that time I only know
his name and that he was 38 years old.

After three months of doing paperwork, I went to Korea and my dream collapsed completely. My
husband is unemployed and an epileptic – something I’d never been told. At first I suffered great
misery. I cried a lot, missing my home and knowing I’d been cheated. However, my husband is
very gentle and my parents-in-law are very kind to me, because they know that I suffer in this
marriage. I’m luckier than many other Vietnamese brides in Korea. I accept this life and try to
overcome difficulties. I hope others in similar circumstances will also succeed. (Nguyen Thi
Hong)

No free lunch. I’m living in South Korea and I’ve met many Vietnamese women here. I’d
estimate that out of 100 Korean-Vietnamese couples, only two or three are living at a
“satisfying” level. I don’t dare say ‘happy.’ I think when they agree to marry Korean men after
several minutes, young women don’t hope to build a happy family. They have to accept what
the marriage brings.

I see many good husbands who give their all money to their wives to manage but it depends on
the wives, too. They must face reality and make an effort. There is no free lunch! (Khoai)

Cruel parents. I’m a photographer and I sometimes take photos for young girls to send to
Taiwan grooms. Seeing these girls, I feel very sad that some parents force their daughters to
get married with foreigners to change their lives. They don’t think about their daughters’
happiness. (Viet Long)

My life is ruined. I was cheated by the go-between, who assured me that my current husband
is very gentle, a university graduate and an office employee. Within two weeks after I came to
Korea, I knew that I was tricked.

My husband is a brute. Sometimes he wakes me at midnight to press his fingers into dangerous
spots in my body. My husband and his mother told me that in Vietnam and Korea, it is normal
for husbands to beat their wives. It is their way of show their love.

I’m thoroughly fed up and have made up my mind to return home. However the officials told me
to wait. I don’t know how long I will have to wait. I want to tell my story so other girls will know
and avoid bride ‘selections.’

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In a word: Girls – be careful! - SPECIAL REPORTS - VietNamNet 10-07-18 12:29 AM

Briefly, we are seen as cheap girls and I hope the Government will abolish marriage brokerage
in our country. (Nguyen Thi Thu Huong)

The ‘brides’ dream of eating well and wearing beautiful clothes. I think differently. I think it
is a shame for Vietnamese women. Only a very few of the women who get married via brokers
are forced to live hard lives. Others are lazy women who want a life of luxury, don’t want to
struggle to achieve it themselves but rely on luck through marrying foreigners. (Knight)

Just fate. I witnessed a bride selection in Hai Phong. Actually, looking at the future grooms I
couldn’t image that they were selecting wives. A group of men wore black suits. Some looked
odd.

Escaping from poverty by marrying foreigners is a fact in not only Vietnam but also in China and
some other Southeast Asian countries. We can’t ban because Vietnam is too poor and it’s too
difficult for rural girls to escape from poverty. (Ha Thi Phuong Dung)

What is the truth? I have been working at a factory in Korea for four years and I know the
facts. A man with monthly income of $5000 can easily marry a Korean wife because the
average worker’s income here is from $1000-2000 per month. So why would they go to Vietnam
to seek a wife? About handsomeness: unemployed men can be handsome. Be careful, girls!
(bake_kr)

A ‘love market’ may be a good idea. I’ve been to many countries in the world and I see that
life in Vietnam is the best. I wish our leaders to create jobs for Vietnamese people to help them
escape from poverty. Our media must report about unlucky lives of Vietnamese women in Korea
to awaken rural girls.

Girls, there are many good men in Vietnam for you to marry. You just don’t have opportunity to
see them. A ‘love market’ -- like in China -- may be a good idea. (Dung Pham)

Source: VNE

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