JULIETS COMPLAINT

A tomb. Dim light. Romeo lies dead on the floor, a cup by his hand. Juliet lies sleeping

on the brier, her arms folded on her chest. Shes in a lovely gown.

Juliet: Wheres my Romeo?

(She sees his body, gets down from the bier, kneels beside Romeo and discovers that

hes dead. She finds a small bottle clutched in his hand and examines it.)

Juliet: Poison, I see, has been his timeless death.

Juliet kisses Romeo.

Juliet: Yea noises? Then Ill be brief.

Juliet pulls a dagger from Romeos belt and kneels upright.

Juliet: Oh, happy dagger. This is your sheath.

Juliet raises the dagger, then stops and puts it down in her lap. She takes a deep breath

and raises the dagger again. She stops. She stands up. She looks onto dagger, raises it

high and slams it onto the brier.

Juliet: I dont think so! No, No! No! This is a love story. Master will says it is the

greatest love story of all time. So why do I have to kill myself every night?

What? It is a tragic love story? Ill tell you whats tragic. This is my favourite

dress. And I have to sew up the front for hundreds of times, after soaking it in

cold water to get the steins out. Not to mention the searing pain in my abdomen

every night. Do you know how excruciatingly horrible it is to stab yourself into the

stomach?

(unseen people mutter supportively)

And what kind of lame o-plot twist is my making up three seconds after he dies?

Romeo: shhhhhhh!

1
Juliet: Dont you shhhhhh me, Mr. Love at First Sight! And Friar John who

doesnt reach Mantua .He was delayed supposedly. The masager gets delayed

my foot. If Friar Lawrence needs a man to go with him, why would he enter the

plague stricken house? So why do I have to die every night? Love stories dont

end with funerals. They end with weddings! And people live happily ever after!

What Master Will ? You say you are the greatest playwright in the history? You

cant be that good if everyone can do your plays for free. Its the same thing

every night! Wake up, fall in love, get married, kill myself. Wake up, fall in love,

get married, kill myself. I am not doing this anymore! I quit!

Juliet pauses.

Juliet: Did I say quit? Did anyone say quit? Im not quitting! I just want a

better story. More love, less death. Im sure that Master Will can figure out a

better story if we just have a little goodwill, ummmmmm? Goodwill? Thank you

for writing in a dagger. Im sure its going to come handy. I wonder if Id like to

be in another play? the Taming of the Shrew ends with a wedding No ,

Ive seen what happens to Kate in Act 3. Midsummers Night? Do you think

Hermia likes being abandoned in the woods by her boyfriend every night?

No.. Noo No No.. Im Juliet and I want to live .. so Master Will where are

you ? Hello ? Master Will ? Where are you?.....

Juliet exits asking for Master Will.