1

00:00:00,735 --> 00:00:02,034

Morty, hurry!

2
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,836
Return the Truth Tortoise!

3
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,238
Morty, whatever you do,
don't drop the Truth Tortoise!

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,539
Also really important,

5
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,141
whatever you do,
don't look into its eyes!

6
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:11,844
I... I did look at it, Rick!
I've been looking at it!

7
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,579
Now you're gonna know
everything, Morty!

8
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,481
Good job! Way to go!
You [bleep] everything up!

9
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,216
[ Speaking gibberish ]

10
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,651
It's in my head!
[ Screams ]

11
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,320
Ah!

12
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,489
[ Screams ]

13
00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:27,559
Oh, geez, I... I can't get that
Truth Tortoise out of my head.
14
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,561
Yeah, I told you not
to look into its eyes.

15
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,663
Hey, Morty, let's watch some
interdimensional cable.

16
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,232
Remember how we used to do that?

17
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,000
Rick, I can't...
I can't go on.

18
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,336
I-I can't go on like this with the
Truth Tortoise shit in my head.

19
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,604
I-I wish you could just...

20
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,739
Erase the memory from your mind?

21
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,741
How did you know
I was gonna say that?

22
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,443
Come on, Morty, come with me.

23
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,546
After you.

24
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,381
What the hell is this?!

25
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,983
This, Morty, is my archive

26
00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:53,719
of all the experiences
you've begged me to remove

27
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,754
from your life,
lest you go insane.

28
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:59,324
I call them
Morty's Mind Blowers.

29
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,061
And we'll be doing this instead
of interdimensional cable.

30
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:12,071

31
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:22,081

32
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:32,291

33
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,961
How long have I been asking you
to remove memories?

34
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,297
Since the first [burps] time
your mind was blown.

35
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,665
Ahh, here it is.
[ Burps ]

36
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,266
Classic.
[ Blows ]

37
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,634
There's no dust on it because

38
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,069
this isn't the first time
we've done this.

39
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:48,240
- What?!
- I call this one "Moonspiracy"!
40
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,509
[ Laughs ]

41
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,645
[ Insects chirping ]

42
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:56,515
Huh, wow.
That's incredible.

43
00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:00,619
What the heck?

44
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,621
Morty, do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?

45
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,223
Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.

46
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,724
Are you serious?

47
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,726
Half the crap we've seen,
and you think that sounds crazy?

48
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,595
I've been to 300 versions
of Earth's moon,

49
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,597
including this one,
and I've never seen signs

50
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,432
of a "regular dude,"
as you describe him,

51
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,700
hanging out up there.

52
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,935
It's probably just
a smudge on the lens.
53
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:20,038
Smudge on the lens?
Smudge on the lens?!

54
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,474
I know the difference between
a man threatening me

55
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,409
and a smudge on
the goddamn lens, Summer!

56
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,345
Morty, calm down!
Are you feeling okay?

57
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,280
I'm fine!

58
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,748
So sensitive.

59
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,750
[ School bell rings ]

60
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,652
Principal Vagina: Kids,
I'd like to introduce you all

61
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:36,655
to our new guidance counselor,
Mr. Lunas.

62
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,291
I look forward
to helping guide you all

63
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,460
towards a brighter future.

64
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,096
I believe every
student should...

65
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:46,331
shoot for the moon.

66
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:50,369

67
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,704
Got you now, you son of a bitch.

68
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,806
[ Camera shutter clicking ]

69
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,142
What's this?

70
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,811
Proof that Mr. Lunas
isn't who he says he is!

71
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,680
He's not a guidance counselor?

72
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,916
I... I assume he's qualified
to be one, who isn't?

73
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:07,186
But he also lives on the moon.

74
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,787
Okay.

75
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,055
Hmm.

76
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,456
Is that it?

77
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,192
Is he doing anything
to hurt anyone?

78
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,993
Oh, he's up to something.

79
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,129
I think I understand.

80
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:19,364
"Up to something,"
"lives on the moon."

81
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,266
Okay, I'll talk to him.

82
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:25,938
[ No audio ]

83
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,444
[ Tires screeching ]

84
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,845
What did he say?

85
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,781
Denied the moon stuff,
but that's what pedophiles do,

86
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,416
they deny,
it's their bread and butter.

87
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:38,717
Pedophile?
You don't think so?

88
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,719
I thought the moon thing
might have been code.

89
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,321
No, he's literally
from the moon!

90
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,655
Well, you saw him react.

91
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,058
Moon or not,
that dude likes 'em young.

92
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,930
[ Siren wails ]

93
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,966
Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.

94
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:56,468
We don't know what drove
him to take his own life,

95
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,570
but we want to remember
the good things.

96
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,339
Like how, from a certain angle,

97
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:03,175
some people would say
he looked like a smudge.

98
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,313
[ Squeak ]

99
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,015
Oh, my God, what have I done?

100
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,116
What have I done?

101
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:14,386
Jesus, I made that guy
kill himself!

102
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,821
Only in a literal sense.

103
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:18,023
Here's one I call
"Morty's [burp] Menagerie."

104
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,025
They don't all
have titles, though.

105
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,160
It's not a "Simpsons"
Halloween special,

106
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,097
more like a clip show made
of clips you never saw!

107
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,066
I can't believe we got
put into a menagerie.

108
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,635
So this guy collects
living beings?

109
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:31,370
Yeah, you know like
commemorative plates,

110
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:32,871
but less off-putting.

111
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,707
You'll get it when you're still
actively dating in your 40s.

112
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,342
Assess this with
cold indifference,

113
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:38,610
you beany-headed prick!

114
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,479
[ Crash! ]
Hey, keep it down!

115
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:42,080
Just our luck, menagerie beneath

116
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,149
the "boulder people"
of Granitor Seven.

117
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,751
I can't take it anymore, Rick!

118
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,252
[ Banging ]
Relax, Morty!

119
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,321
I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we...
We gotta get outta here!

120
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,256
I don't care what it takes!
Anything!

121
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,724
- Anything?
- Anything!

122
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,626
All right, well, you're gonna
have to take off your shirt.

123
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,561
Not yet.
I'll tell you when.

124
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,697
[ Sonar pinging ]

125
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,466
<i>[ Chattering ]</i>

126
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,302
Dear God.

127
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,803
What?

128
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,972
The signal
turned out to be...

129
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,508
There's no other way
to put it...

130
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,976
Instructions.
For?
131
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,979
A vehicle, sir,
an interstellar vehicle.

132
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,982
We'll need a pilot.
I wonder if there's a volunteer.

133
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,183
Mm.

134
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,053
Oh, the schematics specify
a second, smaller pilot.

135
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:23,155
I mean, they really
specify smaller.

136
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,691
They have to be exactly 5'3".

137
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,193
Chang, you may have majored
in Liberal Arts,

138
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,796
but I think you're about
to make history.

139
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:32,931
[ Grunts ]

140
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,633
Woman:
Primary systems, check.

141
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,368
Auxiliary systems, check.

142
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,903
See you soon.

143
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,709
Okay, now.
144
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,610
Greetings.

145
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,012
You're...
You look...

146
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,314
We've possessed forms
your mind can accept.

147
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,683
Here are some customary
clothing gifts.

148
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,418
Please, put them on.

149
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,620
- May we?
- Of course, yes.

150
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,089
We followed your instructions.

151
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,858
We have so much
to learn from you.

152
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,494
I know, right?

153
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,230
[ Creak ]

154
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:10,135
Hey, how come I was able to see
those other people's memories?

155
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,037
I... I wouldn't have been
around for that.

156
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,039
Yeah, sometimes I gotta do
a little editing, Morty.

157
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,307
It helps the mind blowers

158
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,342
play a little bit better
upon revisiting.

159
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,811
I call this one
"The Whole Enchilada.

160
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,748
Here, Morty, this'll make
your urine drinkable.

161
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,549
Now can we keep shopping?

162
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,251
I am Zikzak.

163
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,787
Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me.
It's a [bleep] alien overlord!

164
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,622
It's okay.
Here.

165
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:31,990
Oh, I misjudged.

166
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,493
"I am Floop Floopian.
Please kill me."

167
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,128
That's right, Morty.

168
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:38,830
The Floop Floopians achieve
an eternal orgasmic afterlife,

169
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,899
so long as they're killed
by a great warrior.

170
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,801
I'm flattered, by the way.
Thank you very much.

171
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,169
So you're gonna kill him?

172
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,138
Eh, let's get some lunch first.

173
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,275

174
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,244
So, you want to get shot
in the head, or...

175
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,812
Well, as long as
the wound is fatal,

176
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,280
I don't really mind
where you shoot me.

177
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,282
Cool.
I'm gonna go take a quick shit.

178
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,618
Well, I gotta say.
You know, I'm a little envious.

179
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,653
Your species has
an actual afterlife.

180
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,288
That's gotta be nice.

181
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,656
Wh-What do you mean?

182
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,092
Well, you know, here on Earth,
w-we don't know what's going on.

183
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,127
It must be nice for you guys to,
you know, have that...

184
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,296
Have that proof's in
the pudding, you know, evidence.

185
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:16,468
Evidence?
There's supposed to be evidence?

186
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,937
Um, yeah, uh...

187
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:22,974
otherwise,
how do you know if it's true?

188
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,277
[ Clears throat ]

189
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,546
Wait, you don't...

190
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,682
All right, so you want to do
this here or outside?

191
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,484
[ Weapon cocks, powers up ]

192
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,752
Run!

193
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,253
[ Door slams open ]

194
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,621
I don't wanna die!

195
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,857
[ Horn honks ]

196
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:41,159
[ Chanting ]

197
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,395
Oh, God, it's all real!
Oh, it hurts!

198
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:44,963
Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!

199
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,199
I shouldn't have let
you make me doubt it!

200
00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:50,235
Aah!
I blame you, I blame you!

201
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,137
But he said there
wasn't any evidence!

202
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,572
That was a ton of evidence!

203
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:54,773
Well, silver lining.

204
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,208
Now I know their
religion's real.

205
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,143
They have a hell,
and it does not look good.

206
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,212
I noticed you never finished
your chimichanga,

207
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:02,714
so I got some room for it now,
if you know what I mean.

208
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,182
Holy [bleep]!

209
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,685
How many of these are just
horrible mistakes I've made?

210
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,386
I mean, maybe
I'd stop making so many

211
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,155
if I let myself learn from them!

212
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,057
Don't break your back
creating a lesson, Morty.

213
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,391
It's a freeform anthology.

214
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,260
I'm getting annoyed
you're not hearing that.

215
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,062
As you can see around me,
your mind's been blown

216
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:20,565
countless times,
and not always by yourself.

217
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,133
Ah, [bleep],
I don't even...

218
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,668
This better not
have been a good one.

219
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,936
What is this?

220
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,838
Great, "Booger AIDS,"
"AIDS Booger."
221
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,406
I gotta start using
real file names.

222
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,108
In the meantime,
enjoy a grab bag

223
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:34,346
of mind blowers I call
"Poop AIDS underscore copy."

224
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,581
Alien Warlord: I'm not
an unreasonable man, Beth Smith.

225
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,117
I know children are everything
to a mammal.

226
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,952
I will spare one of their lives.

227
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,722
[ Muffled screaming ]
You simply have to choose.

228
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:46,191
Summer!
Summer.

229
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,895

230
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,296
You're not gonna believe this.

231
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,931
I went to Phoebe
instead of Titan.

232
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,166
It's, like, hello, Saturn,
after ten moons,

233
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,869
time to stop naming and start
numbering, you know?

234
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,105
What's... Wh-What's with you
assholes?

235
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,440
Morty, please, don't do this.

236
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,575
[ Evil laugh ]

237
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,877
[ Voice echoing ]
Your Morty is gone!

238
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,846
I am Voltamatron,
Destroyer of Worlds!

239
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,415
Grandpa Rick, there must be some
scientific way to save him!

240
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,484
Not scientific,
but there may be a way.

241
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,953
Morty, I know you're in there.
It's me, your grandpa.

242
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,955
I know I can be mean,
but I love you, Morty.

243
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,423
We all do,
you gotta fight this thing.

244
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,325
I know you can.
You're stronger than all of us!

245
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,527
Morty, it's mom! We love you,
you have to fight it!

246
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:25,130
Come on, Morty!
Fight that stupid worm thing!

247
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,598
We love you!
[ Screaming ]

248
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,933
We love you so much!

249
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,334
Rick: Yes, Morty, come on,
you're doing it!

250
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,937
You're doing it!
You're doing it!

251
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,772
[ Gagging, coughing ]

252
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,273
Should we pull it out?

253
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,943
No, don't touch it.
Just keep loving Morty!

254
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,312
We still love you.

255
00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:41,980
But I do have
a thing at 6:00.

256
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,615
Oh, God, do I have
to keep looking?

257
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,884
Geez, Morty, come on,
pinch it off already!
258
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,186
[ Laughter ]
[ Screaming ]

259
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,056
Don't! Oh, God, sorry, Morty,
I love you!

260
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,557
[ Whimpering ]

261
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,426
God, is there going
to be an intermission?

262
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,561
Excuse me, but I ordered
the large evil space worm.

263
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,496
I know, it's like,
is that a demon slug

264
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,265
in your stomach,
or are you just happy to...

265
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,334
[ Screaming ]
Sorry!

266
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:04,970
Well, I guess it's nice to know
the whole family sucks!

267
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,504
So if the blues ones
are my fault,

268
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:09,274
and the purple ones are my
family's, what are the red ones?

269
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,876
Yeah, d-don't read
into it, Morty!
270
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,445
[ Birds chirping ]

271
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:14,746
Ahh.

272
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,182
[Bleep] We need to find shelter
before the sunset, Morty.

273
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,684
Venzenulon Nine has a night
temperature of 300 below!

274
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:22,220
We'll freeze, Morty!
W-We'll be dead in seconds!

275
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,022
I... I think I saw
a cave over there.

276
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,557
You've seen
too many movies, Morty.

277
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,226
A cave isn't gonna cut it.
We're gonna have to use Beebo.

278
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,428
Beebo led us to water!
He's our friend!

279
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,697
- He won't even feel it!
- Oh, no, no!

280
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,266
[ Beebo groans ]

281
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:38,069
You wanna die, Morty?
Get in Beebo!

282
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,839
Oh, no, no!

283
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,008
Brace for the ice limit.

284
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,577
Here it comes!

285
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:52,250
Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine
or Venzenulon Seven?

286
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:55,220
Wait a minute, why would I ask
for that to be removed?

287
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,555
Are the red ones stuff
you wanted removed?

288
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,191
Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but I
don't use color to sort things

289
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,360
because I'm not a mouse in
a European children's book.

290
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,529
Then why are all those
pink ones by the liquor?

291
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,097
Liquor?

292
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,266
[ Ray guns blasting ]

293
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,371
[ Both sigh ]

294
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,507
[Bleep], that was close.
We lost Captain Sky.

295
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,275
He gave his life
for the uprising.

296
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,344
Yeah. It really makes
you think, huh, Morty?

297
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,312
We should never take
things for granite.

298
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,014
- What?
- I'm just saying, life's short.

299
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,549
We shouldn't take things
for granite.

300
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,818
- Are you saying "granite"?
- Well, yeah.

301
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,520
It's "granted,"
with a "D."

302
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,423
Take things for granted.
Did you actually think it was...

303
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:33,091
[ Laughs ]
Jesus Christ, Rick,

304
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,126
what are you, a boulder...
A rock person?

305
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,162
How long have you been saying
that wrong?

306
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,463
Oh, you like that, huh?

307
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,231
I b-b-bet that really
blows your mind.

308
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,666
I mean, yeah,
it's kind of great.

309
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:44,069
- You want me to erase it?
- What, you can do that?

310
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,671
[ Buzzing ]
Ah, [bleep].

311
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,673
I [bleep] knew it,
you piece of [bleep]!

312
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:51,176
You... You...
You're a [bleep] asshole, Rick!

313
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:52,644
Take it easy, Morty, come on.
Just relax.

314
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,379
No, I'm not gonna [bleep] relax!
Come here!

315
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,014
Let go of me, you little bitch!

316
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,949
I'm gonna grab you by the
scruff of your... Take that!

317
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,718
Ohh!

318
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,419
- Umm.
- Umm. Uhh.

319
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,887
- What...
- What's going on?

320
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,155
- Where am I?
- Who are we?

321
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,356
Who am I?

322
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,325
I think I'm an adolescent boy.

323
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,627
Huh, and I'm an elderly man.

324
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:14,065
And we appear to be in some kind
of secret confined space.

325
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:14,766
Yeah, umm...

326
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,168
Don't look at me like that.

327
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,170
For all we know, you could be
the [bleep] weirdo.

328
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,707
Huh, these things are
obviously storage units,

329
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,676
and since we can't remember
what went wrong,

330
00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:27,545
my guess is that the technology
involves memory,

331
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,749
and that this thing on your head
is designed to...

332
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,450
Tell us the code, jagoff!

333
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,052
[ Speaking alien language ]

334
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,487
It's pointless.
He's stonewalling.

335
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,589
Rick, if we don't unlock those
vaccines, Earth dies!

336
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,691
You know, it might be time to
step up your interrogation!

337
00:12:39,693 --> 00:12:41,359
Not sure what
you're implying, Morty,

338
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,194
but some lines I don't cross.

339
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,029
Yeah, well,
I crossed every line I had

340
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,398
when this bastard
tried to kill Jessica!

341
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,334
[ Speaking alien language ]

342
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:53,004
Okay, see those two fleshy sacs
under his chin, Morty?

343
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,106
Grab 'em.

344
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,008
You remember the codes now?

345
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,443
Twist!

346
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,711
[ Screaming ]

347
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:02,380
Give us the codes, man!
Twist harder, Morty!

348
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,349
Harder!
[ Screaming ]

349
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,618
Okay, let go, let go,
let him breathe.

350
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,253
[ Speaking alien language ]

351
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,621
He wants to make a deal.

352
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,723
Half the codes now,
half after you finish.

353
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,925
But can we trust...
Wait, what?

354
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,126
F-Finish what?

355
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,327
Y-You know...

356
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,862
I thought I was torturing him!

357
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,230
Oh, and this disappoints you?

358
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,132
Do I tell him we don't
have a deal, Morty?
359
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,767
Because if we can
kill our enemies,

360
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:25,270
but we can't jack them off, then
how are we better than them?

361
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,238
Well, what did you find out?

362
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,973
We're partners, I guess,

363
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,242
and we fight aliens,
like "Men in Black"?

364
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,111
"Men in Black,"
"Men in Black."

365
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,013
I have "Men in Black 2" in here.

366
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,514
So... So you get
the general idea.

367
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,949
[ Laughs ]
Not quite.

368
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,552
It's basically an endless string
of callbacks to...

369
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:43,755
All right, save it for Youtube.
I'll keep looking for clues.

370
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,259
What are you doing?

371
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,928
You want your shelf
level or not?

372
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,664
And if I say yes, you're gonna
provide that for me with that?

373
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,765
Yes, see the bubble?

374
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,366
I'm familiar with
the bubble, Morty.

375
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,335
I also dabble in precision,

376
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,270
and if you think
you can even approach it

377
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,905
with your sad, naked,
caveman eyeball

378
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,608
and a bubble of [bleep] air,
you're the reason this species

379
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,577
is a failure,
and it makes me angry!

380
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:06,778
You're drunk.

381
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,413
You want to put up a shelf,
put up a shelf.

382
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,615
You want to experience
true level?

383
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,451
Do you? [ Sighs
dramatically ] Y-yes.
384
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,160
[ Powering up ]

385
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,996
Ugh, all right, come on.

386
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,865
[ Sighs ]

387
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,137
Wow, it's so...

388
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:37,375
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh,
Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.

389
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,944
Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.

390
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,413
Morty, come on,
we're leaving for school.

391
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,649
Oh, everything's crooked!
Reality is poison!

392
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,384
I want to go back!
I hate this!

393
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,785
What's his deal?
Can't live like this!

394
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,420
Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty,
Morty, Morty.

395
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,322
Go to school, Summer.
I'll go in Morty's memory

396
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,757
and do a little...
[ Clicks tongue ]

397
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,126
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!

398
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,561
Well?

399
00:14:56,563 --> 00:15:00,031
You seem to be in charge
of what I get to remember.

400
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,232
Why?

401
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,834
Good question.

402
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:05,570
Morty, I need darkness to prime
these optical inductors.

403
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,906
Hit the leftmost light switch
by the door for me.

404
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:09,173
The left.

405
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,610
[ Click, click, click ]

406
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,116
Okay, lights on.

407
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,717
[ Sighs ]

408
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,487
So, did I just hear three
distinct light switch clicks?

409
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:23,988
W-W-What do you mean?

410
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,691
I feel like the three sounds
I heard could be explained

411
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,294
by an initial erroneous flipping
of a switch on the right

412
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,162
followed by a hasty,
corrective flipping

413
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,797
of the requested switch.

414
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,066
Then during the resultant
darkness and silence, a third,

415
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,036
shameful unflipping of
the initially flipped switch.

416
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,771
Is my assessment accurate?

417
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:43,074
Yeah, that's... that's basically
how... how it all shaked out.

418
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,309
I'm sorry.

419
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,544
Ugh.
All right, come on.

420
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,480
What?!
Come on!

421
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,855
[ High-pitched tone ]

422
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,662
[ Click, tone ends ]
Grab a shovel.
423
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,464
W-What is...

424
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,833
Grab a shovel!

425
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,168
[ Click ]

426
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,769
What was that?

427
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,607
I can't find a goddamn
zip tie anywhere!

428
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,043
All right, [bleep] it!

429
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,511
[ Beeping ]

430
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,648
[ Magnetizing ]

431
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,917
Ahh, zip tie.

432
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,885
[ Powering down ]

433
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,290
[ Beeping ]

434
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,958
[ Magnetizing ]

435
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,728
[ Women screaming ]

436
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,135
Why are you making me
do this for you again?
437
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,704
Who doesn't wish they could
talk to animals, Rick?

438
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:47,805
Most humans!

439
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,841
There, I'm done,
just stay out of trouble!

440
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,844
Gotta keep moving.
Can't stop.

441
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,879
Up, down, down, up, up, up,
down, up, stop, down.

442
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,914
The queen needs food.
The babies need food.

443
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,050
The queen makes babies.

444
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,585
The situation in Argentina

445
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,286
has proven less convenient
than predicted.

446
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,389
We'll have to re-destabilize
their economy,

447
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,724
refocus labor class outrage
from upper to middle,

448
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,160
foster a coup, and install
a compliant regime.

449
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,361
Same as Guatemala?

450
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,529
Yes, but you can double time it.

451
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,031
We need a quorum
to pick a new pope,

452
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,099
in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing
falls through in Africa.

453
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,635
Why not use chemtrails?
Put a canopy on Uganda.

454
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,637
They're set to agitate
any mo... What?

455
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,406
That kid is watching us.

456
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,574
So, we're squirrels, he's a kid.

457
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,377
He's watching us like he hears
what we're saying.

458
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,946
Hey, kid. Young man?
Come here, little boy.

459
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,949
Tell Daphne to run a 199
on a possible Dolittle.

460
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,117
Little boy!

461
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:34,919
We'll give you wishes
if you can hear us!

462
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,021
We can make you fly
and get candy.

463
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,323
[ Squirrels chittering ]

464
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,595
[ Whistling ]

465
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,398
Oh, [bleep]! Oh, [bleep]!
[Bleep] me! [Bleep] me!

466
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,801
[ Panting ] Rick!

467
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:52,236
Ah, [bleep], Morty,
what did you do?

468
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,006
[ Powering up ]

469
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:56,274
[ Zap! ]

470
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,608
[ Squirrels screeching ]

471
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,143
All right, Morty,
pack your shit!

472
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:01,012
That's only gonna keep 'em down
for a little bit, Morty!

473
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:02,580
You [bleep] with
squirrels, Morty!

474
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,981
We got a good five minutes

475
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,783
before they're backing up
on our ass, Morty!

476
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,086
We have to pack up and move
to a new reality, Morty!

477
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,455
You know I said we could
only do that a couple of times!

478
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,724
We're [bleep] over here because
of these damn squirrels, Morty!

479
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,726
I don't know what
my reaction is,

480
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,895
but I think I'm mounting
in suspicion of you.

481
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,998
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna remember everything!

482
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,101
Everything!

483
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,903
[ Screams ]
[ Laughs ]

484
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,105
[ Screams ]

485
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,774
[ Farts ]
[ Laughs ]

486
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,876
Yeah!

487
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:35,880

488
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:39,250
Ow!

489
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:41,252
Ah!

490
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,454
Ow!

491
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,189
[ Crying ]

492
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:52,096

493
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,898
Well, what'd you find out?

494
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,967
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what
are you gonna do, kill me?

495
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,803
No, I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill myself!

496
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,671
All those memories just erased!

497
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,740
Sitting in this room
collecting dust!

498
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,743
W-What's the point of going on
if most of everything

499
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,346
that happens just ends up
sitting in here?

500
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,348
All right, kid.

501
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,117
I don't know much aside from
the fact that "Men in Black 2"

502
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,853
is a joyless cash grab, but I do
know that whatever you have

503
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,289
brewing around in your noggin
really connected with you.

504
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,824
I can't deny that,

505
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,260
and I can't deny that I'm
inspired by your passion.

506
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,995
I want in.
Suicide pact!

507
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,930
[ Ray gun powers up ]
Yes, yeah, let's do it!

508
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,933
Together, you old son
of a bitch! On three!

509
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,134
One...

510
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,302
Two...

511
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,172
You guys doing
Morty's Mind Blowers?

512
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,140
Morty's Mind Blowers?

513
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,676
[ Sighs ] Grandpa,
is this scenario three?
514
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,245
Uh, w-what's that,
and w-who are you?

515
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,115
Oh, man, it's a scenario four.

516
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,055
[ Spits ]

517
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:52,957
[ Dart gun shooting ]

518
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,900
Ugh, [bleep] goddamn it!

519
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,736
I don't get paid enough
for this shit!

520
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:09,407
<i>There's a Craftsman nearby.
I can smell it.</i>

521
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,409
Whoa, what... what...

522
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,044
<i>Can I help you?</i>

523
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,912
H-How did we fall asleep during
interdimensional cable?

524
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,647
- Yeah, what the hell, Summer?
- Summer, you dumb bitch!

525
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,349
How long were we out,
you dumb bitch!

526
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,184
How much interdimensional cable
did we miss, you stupid bitch!
527
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:22,286
How many improv TV shows with
commercials did we miss, Summer?

528
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,088
Why did you let us fall asleep?
You dumb bitch! You stupid bitch!

529
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,690
All right, Morty,
[bleep] this noise.

530
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,258
Let's get out of here
and go on a classic

531
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,460
Rick and Morty adventure.
Yeah, right, Rick, I'm allin.

532
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:31,395
No wonder you're
constantly fighting

533
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,264
with each other
and behind schedule.

534
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,999
What?
Nothing.

535
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:45,009

536
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:55,019

537
00:20:55,021 --> 00:21:02,226

538
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,561
Rick?
Hello?

539
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,296
Just here for my putter.

540
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:08,532
Jerry's Mind Blowers?

541
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,802

542
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,071
Follow the boys!

543
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:17,975

544
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,810
We're charged and aimed
at Alpha Centauri,

545
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,746
ready for transport.

546
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,448
They fell for it!
Let's send Gobo home!

547
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,850
[ Laughter ]
All right!

548
00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:27,652
- Where's dad?
- He should be here any second.

549
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,820
It's funny, Jerry spent his life
seeking attention,

550
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:32,223
but in the end, humanity's
instinctive dismissal of him

551
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,624
saved an alien's life.

552
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,459
He knows where to go, right?
553
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,295
Yep, any minute now.

554
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:41,265
[ Music playing ]

555
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,134
Did it work?
Did you guys get Gobo home?

556
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:45,836
You have Gobo! You were supposed
to bring him to the hill!

557
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,605
As if.
He was in your basket.

558
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,373
He was in your car!

559
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:52,009
[ Chewing ]

560
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,845
Oh!

561
00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:57,014
Oof!
Dibs on his stuff.

562
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,051
Did yoof that?