50. "Some things Man was never meant to know.

For everything else,

there's Google."

49. "Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."

48. "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected

us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching
magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

47. "COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."

46. "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."

45. "To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password."

44. "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver
error."

43. "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"

42. "If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line

noise."

41. "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."

40. "Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many

stupid users?"

39. "I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of 'Uninstall
Shield'."

38. "See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now."

37. "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!"

36. "SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

35. "Yo moma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body."

34. "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W.
Bush."

33. "The more I C, the less I see."

32. "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

31. "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."

30. "The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble

shoots back."

29. "Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all
over my desktop..."

28. "Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !"

27. "rm -rf /bin/laden"

26. "I don't care if you ARE getting a PhD in it ! Get away from that
damn computer and go find a woman !"

25. "The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make
small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."

24. "If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using
enough."

23. “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it
for the rest of your life.”

22. "Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends
are."

21. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

20. "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"

19. The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS !"

18. "If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like
one."

17. "Better to be a geek than an idiot."

16. "I went to a gentleman's cybercafe — and they offered me

a 'laptop dance'."

15. "After Perl everything else is just assembly language."

14. "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children
are FBI agents."

13. "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand
binary, and those who don't."

12. "Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

11. "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you
didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."

10. "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

9. "Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My

Computer". Double click on it.
User: What's your computer doing on mine?"

8. “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix

directory listing.”

7. “If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming

must be the process of putting them in.”
6. "Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

5. “Any fool can use a computer. Many do.”

4. “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”

3. "Those who can't write programs, write help files."

2. "You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from
the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary."

1. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic

Park, that is.”

Computing
1. “I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.”
2. – Isaac Asimov
3.
4. “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick
boxing.”
5. – Emo Philips
6.
7. “Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about
telescopes.”
8. – Edsger W. Dijkstra
9.
10.“The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.”
11.– Bill Gates
12.
13.“Software is like entropy: It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys
the Second Law of Thermodynamics; i.e., it always increases.”
14.– Norman Augustine
15.
16.“Software is a gas; it expands to fill its container.”
17.– Nathan Myhrvold
18.
19.“All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the
parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you
can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not
 use a hammer.”
20.– IBM Manual, 1925
21.
22.“Standards are always out of date. That’s what makes them standards.”
23.– Alan Bennett
24.
25.“Physics is the universe’s operating system.”
26.– Steven R Garman
27.
28.“It’s hardware that makes a machine fast. It’s software that makes a fast
machine slow.”
29.– Craig Bruce
30.

Knowledge
1. “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited,
whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving
birth to evolution.”
2. – Albert Einstein
3.
4. “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of
knowledge.”
5. – Stephen Hawking
6.
7. “The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing.”
8. – Socrates
9.
10.“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”
11.– Benjamin Franklin
12.
13.“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”
14.– Confucius
15.
16.“If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.”
17.– Ludwig Wittgenstein
18.
19.“Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire
hydrant.”
20.– Mitchell Kapor
21.

Users
1. “If you think your users are idiots, only idiots will use it.”
 2. – Linus Torvalds
3.
4. “From a programmer’s point of view, the user is a peripheral that types when
you issue a read request.”
5. – P. Williams
6.
7. “Where is the ‘any’ key?”
8. – Homer Simpson, in response to the message, “Press any key”
9.
10.“Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.”
11.– Donald Knuth
12.
13.“There is only one problem with common sense; it’s not very common.”
14.– Milt Bryce
15.
16.“Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”
17.– Bill Gates
18.
19.“Let us change our traditional attitude to the construction of programs:
Instead of imagining that our main task is to instruct a computer what to
do, let us concentrate rather on explaining to human beings what we want a
computer to do.”
20.– Donald E. Knuth
21.

Internet
1. “The Internet? We are not interested in it.”
2. – Bill Gates, 1993
3.
4. “The best way to get accurate information on Usenet is to post something
wrong and wait for corrections.”
5. – Matthew Austern
6.

Professionals
1. “The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by
accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause
accidents.”
2. – Nathaniel Borenstein
3.
4. “Pessimists, we’re told, look at a glass containing 50% air and 50%
water and see it as half empty. Optimists, in contrast, see it as half full.
Engineers, of course, understand the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”
 5. – Bob Lewis
6.
7. “In a room full of top software designers, if two agree on the same thing,
that’s a majority.”
8. – Bill Curtis
9.
10.“It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever
consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics
would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which
Baghdad could be given as a parameter.”
11.– Nathaniel S. Borenstein
12.
13.“Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren’t doing anything. One of the
attractive things about programmers is that you cannot tell whether or not
they are working simply by looking at them. Very often they’re sitting there
seemingly drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the
programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the individual and unrelated
ideas that are scampering around in his head.”
14.– Charles M. Strauss
15.
16.“If you think you are worth what you know, you are very wrong. Your
knowledge today does not have much value beyond a couple of years. Your
value is what you can learn and how easily you can adapt to the changes this
profession brings so often.”
17.– Jose M. Aguilar
18.

Programming
1. “Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for
machines to execute.”
2. – Abelson and Sussman
3.
4. “Commenting your code is like cleaning your bathroom — you never want to
do it, but it really does create a more pleasant experience for you and your
guests.”
5. – Ryan Campbell
6.
7. “We have to stop optimizing for programmers and start optimizing for users.”
8. – Jeff Atwood
9.
10.“Low-level programming is good for the programmer’s soul.”
11.– John Carmack
12.
13.“It’s OK to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn’t need to figure out
code. You should be able to read it.”
14.– Steve McConnell
15.
16.“If we wish to count lines of code, we should not regard them as ‘lines
produced’ but as ‘lines spent.’”
17.– Edsger Dijkstra
18.
19.“Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be
combined.”
20.– Kreitzberg and Shneiderman
21.
22.“Before software should be reusable, it should be usable.”
23.– Ralph Johnson
24.
25.“If you automate a mess, you get an automated mess.”
26.– Rod Michael
27.
28.“Looking at code you wrote more than two weeks ago is like looking at code
you are seeing for the first time.”
29.– Dan Hurvitz
30.
31.“It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.”
32.– Alan Perlis
33.
34.“Less than 10% of the code has to do with the ostensible purpose of the
system; the rest deals with input-output, data validation, data structure
maintenance, and other housekeeping.”
35.– Mary Shaw
36.
37.“If you have a procedure with ten parameters, you probably missed some.”
38.– Alan Perlis
39.
40.“How rare it is that maintaining someone else’s code is akin to entering a
beautifully designed building, which you admire as you walk around and
plan how to add a wing or do some redecorating. More often, maintaining
someone else’s code is like being thrown headlong into a big pile of slimy,
smelly garbage.”
41.– Bill Venners
42.
43.“Code generation, like drinking alcohol, is good in moderation.”
44.– Alex Lowe
45.
Development
1. “Simplicity, carried to the extreme, becomes elegance.”
2. – Jon Franklin
3.
4. “A program is never less than 90% complete, and never more than 95%
complete.”
5. – Terry Baker
6.
7. “When you are stuck in a traffic jam with a Porsche, all you do is burn more
gas in idle. Scalability is about building wider roads, not about building
faster cars.”
8. – Steve Swartz
9.
10.“Everyone by now presumably knows about the danger of premature
optimization. I think we should be just as worried about premature design —
designing too early what a program should do.”
11.– Paul Graham
12.
13.“Programming without an overall architecture or design in mind is like
exploring a cave with only a flashlight: You don’t know where you’ve been,
you don’t know where you’re going, and you don’t know quite where you
are.”
14.– Danny Thorpe
15.
16.“The best way to predict the future is to implement it.”
17.– David Heinemeier Hansson
18.
19.“We need above all to know about changes; no one wants or needs to be
reminded 16 hours a day that his shoes are on.”
20.– David Hubel
21.
22.“On two occasions I have been asked, ‘If you put into the machine wrong
figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend
the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”
23.– Charles Babbage
24.
25.“Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
26.– Albert Einstein
27.
28.“Today, most software exists, not to solve a problem, but to interface with
 other software.”
29.– IO Angell
30.
31.“Good specifications will always improve programmer productivity far better
than any programming tool or technique.”
32.– Milt Bryce
33.
34.“The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no
difference between theory and practice.”
35.– Richard Moore
36.

Quality
1. “Don’t document the problem, fix it.”
2. – Atli Björgvin Oddsson
3.
4. “As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and
have failed repeatedly, in real applications.”
5. – Dave Parnas
6.
7. “If the code and the comments do not match, possibly both are incorrect.”
8. – Norm Schryer
9.
10.“I think it’s a new feature. Don’t tell anyone it was an accident.”
11.– Larry Wall
12.
13.“If you don’t handle [exceptions], we shut your application down. That
dramatically increases the reliability of the system.”
14.– Anders Hejlsberg
15.
16.“When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective
code.”
17.– Richard Pattis
18.
19.“In a software project team of 10, there are probably 3 people who produce
enough defects to make them net negative producers.”
20.– Gordon Schulmeyer
21.
22.“I think it is inevitable that people program poorly. Training will not
substantially help matters. We have to learn to live with it.”
23.– Alan Perlis
24.
25.“Program testing can be a very effective way to show the presence of bugs,
 but is hopelessly inadequate for showing their absence.”
26.– Edsger Dijkstra
27.

Programming Languages
1. “Manually managing blocks of memory in C is like juggling bars of soap in a
prison shower: It’s all fun and games until you forget about one of them.”
2. – anonymous Usenet user
3.
4. “There’s no obfuscated Perl contest because it’s pointless.”
5. – Jeff Polk
6.
7. “Java is the most distressing thing to hit computing since MS-DOS.”
8. – Alan Kay
9.
10.“There are only two things wrong with C++: The initial concept and the
implementation.”
11.– Bertrand Meyer
12.
13.“It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn’t
have written it!”
14.– Mark Andreesen, speaking of the HTML tag BLINK
15.
16.“Web Services are like teenage sex. Everyone is talking about doing it, and
those who are actually doing it are doing it badly.”
17.– Michelle Bustamante
18.
19.“Perl: The only language that looks the same before and after RSA
encryption.”
20.– Keith Bostic
21.
22.“I didn’t work hard to make Ruby perfect for everyone, because you feel
differently from me. No language can be perfect for everyone. I tried to
make Ruby perfect for me, but maybe it’s not perfect for you. The perfect
language for Guido van Rossum is probably Python.”
23.– Yukihiro Matsumoto, aka “Matz”, creator of Ruby
24.
25.“XML is not a language in the sense of a programming language any more
than sketches on a napkin are a language.”
26.– Charles Simonyi
27.
28.“BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.”
29.– Seymour Papert
 30.
31.“It has been discovered that C++ provides a remarkable facility for
concealing the trivial details of a program — such as where its bugs are.”
32.– David Keppel
33.
34.“UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.”
35.– Dennis Ritchie
36.
37.“Some people, when confronted with a problem, think ‘I know, I’ll use
regular expressions.’ Now they have two problems.”
38.– Jamie Zawinski
39.

Security
1. “I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something
about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is
purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image.”
2. – Stephen Hawking
3.
4. “The only truly secure system is one that is powered off, cast in a block of
concrete and sealed in a lead-lined room with armed guards.”
5. – Gene Spafford
6.
7. “Being able to break security doesn’t make you a hacker anymore than being
able to hotwire cars makes you an automotive engineer.”
8. – Eric Raymond
9.
10.“Companies spend millions of dollars on firewalls, encryption and secure
access devices, and it’s money wasted, because none of these measures
address the weakest link in the security chain.”
11.– Kevin Mitnick
12.
13.“If you think technology can solve your security problems, then you don’t
understand the problems and you don’t understand the technology.”
14.– Bruce Schneier
15.
16.“Hoaxes use weaknesses in human behavior to ensure they are replicated
and distributed. In other words, hoaxes prey on the Human Operating
System.”
17.– Stewart Kirkpatrick
18.
19.“Passwords are like underwear: you don’t let people see it, you should
change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers.”
 20.– Chris Pirillo
21.

Companies
1. “I am not out to destroy Microsoft, that would be a completely unintended
side effect.”
2. – Linus Torvalds
3.
4. “Yes, we have a dress code. You have to dress.”
5. – Scott McNealy, co-founder of Sun Microsystems
6.
7. “In an information economy, the most valuable company assets drive
themselves home every night. If they are not treated well, they do not
return the next morning.”
8. – Peter Chang
9.
10.“It’s better to wait for a productive programmer to become available than it
is to wait for the first available programmer to become productive.”
11.– Steve McConnell
12.
13.“I’m not one of those who think Bill Gates is the devil. I simply suspect that
if Microsoft ever met up with the devil, it wouldn’t need an interpreter.”
14.– Nicholas Petreley
15.

Predictions
1. “Two years from now, spam will be solved.”
2. – Bill Gates, 2004
3.
4. “The problem of viruses is temporary and will be solved in two years.”
5. – John McAfee, 1988
6.
7. “Computer viruses are an urban legend.”
8. – Peter Norton, 1988
9.
10.“In 2031, lawyers will be commonly a part of most development teams.”
11.– Grady Booch
12.
13.“I don’t know what the language of the year 2000 will look like, but I know it
will be called Fortran.”
14.– CA Hoare, 1982
15.
16.“In the future, computers may weigh no more than 1.5 tonnes.”
17.– Popular mechanics, 1949
18.
19.“I see little commercial potential for the Internet for at least ten years.”
20.– Bill Gates, 1994
21.
22.“Before man reaches the moon, mail will be delivered within hours from New
York to California, to Britain, to India or Australia.”
23.– Arthur Summerfield, 1959, United States Post