Prologue

I don't even care about the fate of the world.

Is what the lanky, brown-skinned man with a smug look on his face says. The king is looking at
him, noticably bewildered, with eyes wide open and brows furrowed. Not even his full-faced beard
can hide his surprise to the man's statement.

What's even in it for me? I was making bank on my crypto-investments back home you
fucking virgin loser, can you fucking top that?

A large man joins the conversation, chin to crown covered in shaggy, curly hairs. Now, all the
spectators to the summoning are showing signs of agitation. The help from another world is not
only refusing the favor they have been asked, but is also insulting the royal crown.

...We were of course planning to compensate you for your--

Yeah, this guy obviously sucks dick. Fuck you, retard. I'm not gonna do anything you say.

The large man interrupts the king, who is growing impatient with the hostility he is receiving. The
king's retainer, however, directs a question to the other two men, standing together with the large
man and the brown-skinned man.

What about you, young men? Surely you must have the morals to accept a request from
fellow humans suffering from a calamity. Imagine if such a thing happened in your own
world! Would not your family suffer? Could you watch as a plague ravaged through your
loved ones?

The other two men look at each other for a while, muttering words foreign to not only the people
spectating, but also to the large and brown-skinned man.

Stop speaking Swedish you fucking virgins. I swear to god I will come to your fucking
countries and punch you in the fucking face.
Oh, yust shut up you fat retard. Yust go back and stuff your face with some fucking chips.

The large man just laughs at the insults thrown at him by the blonde boy. The brown man interjects.

Ayy le mayo, Kupu coming in with the chad insults.

Oh look, it's the portuguese monkey who can't play Dota, go back to the yungle you fucking
monkey. Kill yourself, Sza.
Why don't you kill yourself, Kupu?

Kupu is looking noticably distressed and utters with an agonized voice:

I wish I could man! Get me out of this fucking world! I don't even care anymore!
Oh, Velma is suicidal!

The large man taunts Kupu, who has put his hands to his face with his body jerking in rhythm with
his sobbing. Noticing his time to strike, Sza jumps in with a new one-liner.

Le monkey face.
The king is stunned by the debacle unfurling in front of him. He was supposed to summon heroes to
prevent the destruction of humanity, but what he got was a group of buffoons who were not only
rude to him and his people, but also exuded an arrogance unbefitting of people their age. They were
unable to perform another summoning ritual for at least a hundred years, so this was the last chance
humanity had at securing a future for their populace. Unable to back down, he pleas with the last
member of the summoned group.

Please tell me that you're going to help us, friend.

The spectacled, brown-haired man looks at the king with a look of disdain for a brief moment
before speaking.

I'm pretty much a fucking wizard already, so you 3D whores better watch your fucking
words when I'm around.

It was hopeless. Whoever this person was, he was just as much of a piece of human garbage as the
rest. The large man suddenly looks at the bespectacled man.

Oh right, Luffe, when's your birthday?

October 5th, you fat fuck.
Oh, haha, then you'll have to stay a virgin for a bit longer. You do know I will spend as much
money as I can to ruin your dreams, right?
I will most definitely focus on eradicating the jews first when I get my fucking powers,
Booster.

While Booster is sporting a smug, playful grin on his face, Luffe seems much more angry and
volatile. While Kupu is still hiding his face with his hands, Sza shouts out to them.

Hey, you fucking retards, let's just leave this place. Let the old man sit in his moldy chair
until he dies. Are you gonna be virgin stay-standers, or chad walk-leavers?

The group nods to Sza's suggestion and swiftly leaves from the castle through the large wooden
doors, leaving behind the king and spectators, who still cannot swallow what has just transpired.
The behavior and attitudes of these men were so outlandish, and their speech so foul, and no matter
how you looked into their patterns, you could not decipher what these people worked with in their
previous world. The castle was in shock, and it would stay that way until the group of young men
were far, far away from the borders of the town they were summoned to.
Chapter 1

There's a lot of virgins here.

Sza spoke what was on everybody's mind as they walked through the main street from the castle.
The people around them weren't using regular tools for their chores, but rather made their hands
glow in curious colors and channeling it to whatever needed to be fixed. They saw clothes get
folded by itself, grass being cut with the flick of a wrist and brooms sweeping by their own. Booster
visibly grew more and more unsettled and decided to ask the townspeople for guidance.

Hey, are you using magic here?

The townie looked puzzled at the question.

Uh, yes.
Then are you a virgin?

From looking puzzled his expression turned rather sour.

What kind of question is that? Do you have no manners?

Booster apologetically nods to him and heads back to the group.

Yeah, they're all virgins.

After some strolling and asking around, the group sits down at a nearby park bench to discuss what
they know.

Okay, so apparently we were summoned by that fossil in the castle to this place called Cucc,
and--
Did you know that Cucc was called Bucc in Summoning 1?

The group lets out a small courtesy chuckle at Sza's terrible joke interrupting Booster before he
continues.

So, we're at Cucc. Now everyone here can use magic, even if they're not virgins.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I know, Luffe, it's fucked up. Anyway, so the people here are at war with some demons or
autists or some shit, I don't really remember. Now, this place fucking sucks, because there's
no way for us to use the internet and shit, so we'll just have to do whatever we want until we
can finally go back.
So we can just fuck around until we can get back?
Yeah, Sza, I think that's fine.
GET ME OUT!

Kupu's scream attracts the eyes of several park-goers, and they decide to leave to find a place to
sleep. They managed to get enough money for a room at the cheapest inn in the town through
busking at different busy areas.

That feel when we're fucking gypsies now.

Luffe jumps onto the single queen-sized bed anguishing over his lost pride as Booster raises his
voice.

Fuck off Luffe, if anyone is supposed to sleep on the fucking bed it's me. I'm the richest of
us here you fucking cunt.
Your money is useless here you yew.

To Kupu's remark, Booster lets out a long sigh.

Well if you give me this bed tonight I'll give you five grand when we get back home, deal?
Sure.
Fine.

Kupu and Luffe quickly agrees.

As day breaks the group wakes up to the sound of a bustling market. Booster lets out a yawn as he
ponders about his situation.

Fuck man, I can't believe we're not at home anymore.

I don't even believe that we're here.

Kupu answers as he rubs his eyes.

I don't even believe in jews.

Luffe wakes up and straightens his right arm in a nazi salute.

Explain me then, you fucking virgin.

Magic, like everything else here in this fucking world.
Then who made me you dumb Swede?
I don't know, maybe the king used some of his fucking jew-magic to create a fat jew?

The bickering between Booster and Luffe continued through the morning, getting more absurd with
every answer.

I don't even fucking believe in women, sue me you fucking jew.

Then how are babies made dumbfuck.
The stork, Shlomo, the fucking stork.

This talk continued through-out the day while Sza tries to join in whenever possible.

De sdorg, fugg.
Chapter 2

Let's learn some fucking magic boys.

Booster has found a free magic training programme at the local mage's guild branch, and is now
escorting his three equally deplorable friends. Although they have finally managed to get used to the
warm, dry air of Cucc, they are still not completely recuperated mentally to go on any kind of
adventure outside the walls of the city.

Oh look, it's a doggo!

As they entered the guild, they see a small furry canine wearing a robe standing in front of a door.
Booster, having met it before, walks up confidently.

Yo, wassup. We're gonna do some fucking magics here, doggy, so you better show us the
ropes or I won't pay, huh-huh-huh!

The dog scans Booster from head to toe before giving him a disgusted look.

Oh, right. Head inside so we can get started, yeah?

As they are given a run-down on the basics of magic, they are to put on a couple of wristcuffs that
will show them what magic they have the strongest affinity with. As Kupu puts on the cuffs, three
orbs appear around him.

That's a virgin ghost walk if I've ever seen it!

Nice, Kupu! Go invisible so you can kill yourself without bothering anyone.

Two of the orbs were colored blue, while the last purple. The dog explains that this means that
Kupu's strength is water magic, while he also has some talent for lightning magic.

As the cuffs were passed around, they found out that Booster had affinity with earth exclusively,
and Luffe only had talent for the light element, whose orbs were glowing a bright pink.

Oh, that's a good one. The light element, when practiced enough, becomes a potent healing
magic able to even regrow limbs.
Yeah, that's fucking fantastic! What now you virgin, huh-huh-huh! First, your virginity was
a complete waste, and now you can't even kill the jews!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The light element is a peculiar one, as well, since it is fueled by the emotion of love inside
the soul of an individual.

The room went quiet for a brief second before Booster and Kupu fall to the ground in laughter,
twitching as if they got a seizure, crying floods while mocking the, now, gloomy Luffe.

When Sza finally gets to wear the cuffs, three differently colored orbs appear and spin around
rapidly. Kupu looks at the dog-man worriedly.

Does this mean Sza has autism?

The orbs circle around faster and faster until they finally come to a halt abruptly. The orbs are
colored in vibrant green, red, and blue.

Dear gods! It's unbelievable!

The dog looks at Sza with teary eyes and mouth gaping.

You... you actually did it! You actually beat temptation!

Booster, Kupu and a slightly restored Luffe look at the dogman, confused with his ramblings.

What did he mean by this? Get me out of this bad yoke!

Yeah, what are you talking about, fucking mutt.

The dogwizard looks at the three with a bright smile on his face.

This is incredible! This man has managed to stay away from the temptations of women for
30 years! He has ascended into living sainthood!
Yes, but what does it mean?

Kupu grimaces at the difficult sentences.

It means he is a virgin! A virgin for 30 years! I haven't seen this since I was but a pup! It's
amazing I tell you!

The three look at Sza who is wearing an embarrassed smile.

Fugg.

As they finish up learning the basic spells of their attributes, they walk back to the inn.

I can't believe you're a virgin, Sza. Didn't you have a girlfriend? Actually, didn't you have
many girlfriends?
Yes, but I'm so chad I don't even have sex.
Nice yoke, what does that even mean?
Uhm, I watch Rick & Morty, okay? I slay pussy with my mind, not my dick.

When they arrive at the inn, they have finally left the topic.

Oh, by the way, you know you're not using that earth magic right? I'll pay you five grand if
you don't. I'm the fucking earth mage here.

Sza nods back.

Le monkey face.
Chapter 3

Oh wow, there's actually a leveling system? It's just a fucking video game, we'll be good at
this!

The group has finally traveled outside the castle walls to test out their new knowledge. As they kept
throwing spells in every possible direction, the once large, grassy, and serene field had now become
a dry, ashy wasteland. Suddenly a light shines on the group and a small trumpet sound is heard. A
prompt appearing in front of them say they have reached level two.

Oh fugg, we're no longer beta level ones!

It says progress: 3% on mine.

Kupu and Sza are excitedly looking at their small prompts.

Yes, it's amazeballs!

What the fuck, there's no such thing on mine?
There is on mine, as well.

Booster is panicking, he starts to remember his traumatic past with the number two.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The shout echoes through the now barren wastes.

You deserve it, Booster. You're yust a fucking fat retard anyway.
Dudes, I just thought that I was gonna press C to bring up my character screen and it
actually did. This is amazeballs!

As they figured out more and more about the workings of the world, low on health and on low
energy, they decide to take a break.

Why does your heal only give one hp, are you joking?

Booster is looking irritatedly at Luffe whose hands are growing in a faint pink.

It's because he doesn't love anything, man. Him getting that magic is the best yoke ever!
Oh, right! Huh-huh-huh!

Kupu and Booster once again fall to the ground in a seizure-like fit of laughter.

If only anime was real, where's your Trump now!

Oh yeah, and there are no cats here either! Huh-huh-huh! How can you fuck cats with no
cats, huh-huh!

They venture further and further away from the castle walls, into a nearby forest. A few minutes
later, the light once again shines on the group.

Oh, epic, we're level three now.

I'm not! How is this even fair, why are you guys getting experience while I'm stuck at level
 two? Fuck.

Booster was the only one who did not receive a prompt this time, so while his friends got
stronger, his growth had stagnated.

Maybe if you stopped growing in width you'd grow in strength, fat yew.

They kept walking through the forest until they reached a swamp.

Oh, five grand to whoever drinks the water here!

Nobody took Booster up on that. The other three already knew how these things worked.
Chapter 4

As the group got bored with the mundane life inside the town walls, they decide to go on an
adventure.

Let's go on an ebin adventure. It'll be amazeballs!

Walking through the desolate wastes outside the town, they keep throwing spells in all directions,
bearing no mind of the destruction of the local eco-system and the consequences it will have. As
they enter the forest again, they feel that they're being watched.

Who goes there, fugg!

Sza is the first to notice. In a split second, a silhouette appears in front of them holding thick batons
in each hand. As the silhouette draws closer, they see it's a slim, average-heighted man. The man is
wearing several golden necklaces and a black, studded collar. His chest is barely covered with a
thin, see-through cloth wrapped around his torso, and a thin loincloth is swaying between his legs.
His face is feminine, with long eyelashes and a small mouth with big, thick lips. His ears are long
and pointy, it was a forest elf.

What are yuu doing in my fukkin' forest?

The man(?) turns around and takes a deep breath from a tube filled with water and herbs. Loud
slurping sounds can be heard. The group sees an exposed buttocks, with another thick baton
sticking out.

Oh, it's a gay elf, huh-huh-huh!

The first thing we see in the yungle is a degenerate faggot, get me out!

The man quickly turns back to them with a bright red face.

I'm not gay, yuu retards. This is perfectly normal!

Yes, good job falling for the This really gay shit is normal-jew.
Luffe, that's not how you use the fucking meme.

Booster angrily stares at Luffe who had just commited one of the gravest sins.

Wait, are yuu humans?

The elf stares at the group for a little while until confidently nodding to himself.

Of course yuu are, the great me obviously knows a stinky human when he sees one.
Anyway, come to my village, you seem tired. I'll offer you a bed and some food.
Oh, free food, I never say no to that, huh-huh-huh!

The group follows the elf through the forest while casting their spells in all directions, leaving
nothing but ashes in their wake. The elf sometimes glances back at the group, but doesn't give any
eye-contact.

Are you staring at our dicks, you fucking faggot?

 Do you have a clothed fetish, Fagzan of the yungle?
N-no, shut up yuu stinky humans.

The group looks at the elf in absolute disgust.

By the way, what's yuur names?

Yes, like Booster is gonna give his zionist power word to anyone who asks.
Shut up Luffe, you virgin!
Zionist, eh?

The elf puts on a devious smirk while letting his eyes wander down.

By the way, my name is Arneezy.

Interlude

Sieg Heil. Those were the first words I spoke. I clearly remembered my last moments, holed up in a
bunker with my beloved. The stench of ash and gunpowder seeping in through the ventilation ducts.
The deafening sounds of explosions, screams and gunshots mixed together with the music from the
record player. The loaded gun pointed at me by the one I thought was my right-hand man. How
could I not notice? He was one of them all along.

Impure.

That world was impure. I thought that if I could only have started over somewhere else, maybe then
I could have cleansed the corruption. The stink. The men and women who feed from the anus of the
earth like tapeworms. I believed, and I still believe, that they were the cause.

No matter.

The gods must have heard me, for here I am. Once killed, now reborn. Reborn to cause destruction
on the impurities of this new world. To crush the filth like ants under my sole. I am reborn, but this
time I cannot smell a stink. These must be the people I have been destined to lead. Watch over me
gods, I will finish it this time.

Sieg Heil. Those were the first words I spoke.

Chapter 5

Oh, chosen people of ze forest. We shall lead ze way to a world dominated by us! Ze juden
will no lon--. Sorry. Ze humans will no longer push us around in our own territory! Ze gods
have spoken, ze world is ours!

As the moustached man finished his speech in the middle of the forest elf village plaza, the crowd
erupted in a loud roar.

Oh dear, there's no way this is real...

Booster is looking at the large crowd.

All the elves are fucking faggots!

The elves cheering were all wearing see-through clothes with studded leather collars. Some dressed
up with large peacock feathers adorned in their hair or clothes in colorful palettes, others were
dressed in all-black fetish wear. Dildos were thrown around during the loud, happy screaming of a
hundred plus elves. Suddenly, Arneezy seemed fairly normal in comparison. A peculiar thing to note
is that there was not a single woman in the village.

Why are there no chicks? I was expecting hot elf chicks.

Sza asks Arneezy with a sullen face.

You're too short anyway, give up.

Luffe replies with a grin on his face, while Booster lets out a chuckle.

There are no female elves. Are yuu fukkin' newfags or something? How could you not know
this?
Wait, so how are elves born?
Thruu the fukkin' stork, yuu idiot. They usually arrive every spring.
I FUCKING TOLD YOU!

Luffe hits Booster in the back of the head with an open palm. As they walk through the plaza, they
feel people eyeing them in every direction. The group were terrified at the thought of what the elves
were thinking, considering Arneezy seemed to have some lustful thoughts during the walk here, and
considering these elves looked to be even bigger perverts, Luffe and Kupu were fearing being
raped.

Don't worry, it wouldn't be any different from your home anyway, huh-huh-huh!

Suddenly, the moustached man appears in front of them.

Oh, look what we have here... Zere seems to be humans passing through our beautiful
village. May you state your business?
We're just here to marvel at what gigantic faggots you are.
You tell'em Sza, huh-huh-huh!
The moustached man grimaces.

Yuur greatness, these people are just here to stay the night. They will be out by tomorrow.

Arneezy throws the moustached man a wink.

Yes, I just can't say no to free food and a free bed, huh-huh-huh!

The moustached man now seems incredibly shocked. Eyes wide and mouth agape he shouts at
Booster.

You, repeat what you just said!

I like free stuff?

The moustached man's mouth closes and transforms into a smirk. He speaks to himself in a whisper.

Yes, now I understand this familiar stench. So you exist here, too?
Excuse me?
Nahzing, nahzing! I was just in deep thought.

The moustached man walks up to Arneezy and speaks softly in his ear.

Make sure zey can't escape.

Arneezy nods.

Wow, these people even speak like faggots.

Yes, this place is truly the gayest, huh-huh-huh!

Sza and Booster laugh at their own wit, while Luffe and Kupu are still frozen still, terrified of the
townspeople watching them.