Self: Encompassing Life

Superman is a super man. Not only does he have an impressive physical

strength, but also a sharp mind when battling the forces of evil. He is indeed
admirable. Despite his supernormal abilities, though, there exists an object that
causes him to be fragile the kryptonite, his weakness. Even though he possesses
powers that other normal human beings do not have, being him is not easy also
considering the existence of the kryptonite that causes him to falter.
Like Superman, I would like to believe that I, myself, is unique in my own way.
I am a person who has high aspirations in life. I seek for excellence. To concretize
this idea, for instance, I make an effort to study hard. My whole life I have been
conditioned to perform well academically. But that does not merely define my pursuit
for excellence. Throughout the course of my life, I have developed my own
perception of excellence balance. I try my hardest to balance everything in my
life. I try to maintain good grades while involving myself in extra-curricular activities.
Even if school alone is stressful, I am courageous enough to add more to my plate. I
joined organizations to experience work outside the confines of the classroom. In
addition to this, I make sure that I make time for the people I love. I go home and
spend time with my family during special occasions. I go out and spend time with my
friends as well. The underlying idea behind all of these is that my core as a person is
having a strong sense of balance that will make me a holistic individual.
Another thing that I think contributes to me being distinctly myself is my
passion for helping and giving. To me, being unselfish is very important. I feel fulfilled
when I am able to help those who are in need, for instance, the street children who
ask for money to buy food. But me helping is not restricted to charitable deeds. I
would like to believe that I am generous to the people around me. When I feel like a
friend is in need of company, I willingly share my time to him/her. The same goes for
my family. If altruism in the most concrete sense is possible, I think I would willingly
embody it.
Although I have my strengths that make me a distinct individual, there is also
the other side of the spectrum. Just like Superman, I also have my kryptonite. The
main thing that causes me anxiety or feelings of insecurity is the movement of time.
The End of History Illusion theory by Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert talks about
the discrepancy between the predicted change and reported change of people.
Based on his findings, people tend to believe that they would not change for the next
10 years, but this idea is disproved by the actual change that occurred to them. This
is a good manifestation of why, in the depths of my being, the movement of time
becomes my kryptonite.
The movement of time is a powerful force. It changes people in ways that they
do not expect. Whether its good or bad is hard to determine. This is the underlying
reason why the movement of time scares me. It emphasizes the fact that in life, the
only thing certain is uncertainty. The idea that the movement of time possibly
changing me is beyond my control somehow gives me fear. What if I dont like the
person that I become? Since there is uncertainty, it can be said that the change that
might transpire in me brings me the fear of the unknown.
Clearly, it is quite difficult to define who I am now. I am both the positive and
negative things that I do and feel. I am both my strengths and weaknesses. I am
both the good and bad about myself. My personhood is multifaceted in a sense that
a single description of who I am would not suffice. In all honesty, I cannot even
verbally express exactly who I am as a person. It is not just one empirical thing.
This idea reflects what John Locke and David Hume point out in their
accounts. Although our consciousness plays a vital role in our identity, that is, the
workings of our consciousness and awareness, it is not entirely the reason behind
who we are. I am not merely a conscious being. I am a self. I am a person. I am the
collection of everything that I am. I am not just one single thing that I can call myself.
In line with this, another way to look at it is using the Platonic concept of
Doctrine of Opposites. I may not be able to exactly explain who I am now,
considering all the factors that contribute to the person I am, but I know who I am
not. I am someone who tries so hard to achieve balance in her life, therefore, I am
not someone who leaves everything behind just to focus on one. I am someone who
loves being a person for others, so I am not someone who is self-centered and
selfish. I am someone who fears the unknown, in a sense that I am scared that I
would not like the person that I will become in the future given how forceful time is in
changing a person whether consciously or unconsciously, therefore I am not
someone who likes the idea of uncontrollable change. The things that are not me
differentiate the things that I am. I may not be a hundred percent sure of who I am,
but at the very least, given the fact that there is no one way of explaining who I am
as a person, I know who I am not, or who I would not want myself to be.

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 Going back to the idea that I am a collection of everything that I am, I can say
that the person that I am now is everything that comes from and comes to me. For
instance, as aforementioned, I love doing acts of generosity, therefore, my desire to
help other people comes from me, and the fulfillment that I feel whenever I do so
comes to me, and all other things that affect me as a person add to this collection.
Therefore, who I am cannot be merely said, but it is what the world experiences from
me, and what I experience from the world.
Probably the reason why defining what it means to be me is challenging is
because it can never be objectively described. Being myself is an experience. It is
more of doing. As what has been consistently mentioned, who I am now is the
collection of every aspect of myself: from what has happened to me the moment I
was born, to everything that will happen to me in the future. Who I am is an infinite
process of acquiring and imparting, and who I am now is part of the process. What it
means to be me is continuing this process, and living out the essence of being
human, which is to give to and receive from the world where we coexist with more
human beings like us.
One can just describe attributes of himself/herself just individual facets of
the multifaceted being that is his/her person. In accordance to Humes idea of the
human being, I, myself, too, is a collection of every single thing that I am: my
thoughts, actions, ideas, strengths, weakenesses and everything that contributes to
the person that I am now, and my self is the thing that connects all these things. Who
I am now, really, is everything that I have acquired in the world so far, and also
everything that I have imparted. Indeed, my self encompasses my whole
experience of life.