Theres a corner of my heart that is yours.

And I dont mean for now, or until Ive found somebody else, I mean forever. I
mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand times over or once or never again, therell always be a small quiet place
in my heart that belongs only to you.

Aditya,

They say certain people have a magnetic pull - attracting and spiralling people inwards, towards them, almost like an
involuntary action, a reflex out of pure helplessness, and a charisma that few can repel. But it was the total opposite for you -
you had a circle of air that clearly meant - isolation. Not that you seemed to put off people, your smile clearly dripped of
honey, speaking purely of happiness, or a rare kind of goodness. And you had intriguing eyes - piercing through everyones
soul- nonetheless a mystery, nearly speaking of innocence, or impeccability, yet valiant, daunting, searching for
something, or someone - answers to questions you didnt have. And despite that facade that you put on, there were layers of
you that I believed I could peel off, one by one, imagining myself to be dauntless enough to break down your walls, not
knowing that I would end up building many more.

And despite, your shimmering hands that glittered with a brownish tint, asking to be held, waiting to hold, or your smile that
gleamed off your jawbones, touching your eyes, a brilliance we rarely witnessed, you were you, a mystery I could never
solve, a puzzle with few pieces still lost (having given away most of your pieces to people and places on your journey), an
unfinished book, a quaint cafe on the outskirts of the city. Rather ironical, to understand someone so deeply, and then not at
all, always pulling, tugging at my hair, my mind to decipher you. I now believe some things are beautiful in their own
mannerisms, left in their own untamed ways, different but appealing, unfamiliar but still so much like home. So
unfathomable, a paradox, for you have never been a runner (from people or things), but you find calm in speed, and a
musical kind of silence in the chaos - be it the voices of the people youve loved or the engines of the bikes you ride. I guess
thats how its always been for you - everything or nothing. You give too much each time, with a tiny hint of something in
return, sometimes, nothing at all, throwing away parts of you, carefully carving them in the shadows of those you adore, a
love that must protect them. Youve always been a metaphor, existing between two places at once, the many sides and
corners of your mind, your heart a spiralling journey you cant seem to take control of. For me, youre somewhat like poetry,
the eyes of many - reading you, up and down, through the lines - pulling out their own meaning of you, their perceptions
of what you are made out of. For many, you are an ode, to simplicity, or greatness, aspiring to be so different, unique, almost
on the edge of insanity and thoughtfulness. For others, a lullaby, a sound that makes them feels safe, at peace. For some, a
love song - a connotation of grievance with beauty, of emotion with intelligence. So many never understood poetry, just
how they will never understand you - your triumphs and tribulations, your thoughts or things that make you you. There will
be those that do not like reading, but they will read you anyway, plugging at your words, asking you to be more
conventional, a proper form of art, almost stealing you of your glint, or vivacity, but, you are formless. And timeless.

For me, you will always be poetry. Well, of course you are my ode, and my lullaby, my love song, and my safe harbour. But
mostly, you are my metaphor, my piece of poetry, because youve always made me feel like a poet. Words have always
come naturally to me, but for you, and you with, I fail there too. No amount of alphabets and lines could conjure up what
you are, who you are, and your enigma. But, as for me, I fail pleasurably because this is a war that I would love to go on for
the rest of my life, an undying battle - you, intimidating every bit of me (and others).

and in the end, we are all just humans, drunk on the idea that,
love, only love, could heal us of our brokenness.

You were that love for me. And I dont necessarily mean it as a romantic love. You have been my hope on days that seemed
unbearable, my friend in times that I thought I wouldnt make it, my companion when I have done you most harm, hurt you
and even betrayed you. You have believed in me when I didnt even understand myself, held my hand when I couldnt walk.
I guess thats what true love is: giving someone so much of yourself, healing them through your own pain. See? Words are
failing me again, ha. Sometimes, I feel like I have cheated myself out of the most beautiful things in my life, and regret is
such a painful feeling. But mostly, on days when I dont recognize myself anymore, days where everything seems a little
dull, knowing you exist makes me happy. Friendship is true love, and you gave that to me, a love that I didnt deserve, a love
that I wish I could return only enough. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along. You have, and
will continue to exist right here with me. Always.

I think you feel so much because you kiss the world silently with the soul of your eyes and never ask for a reply. How could
someone feel everything and nothing, all at once? How could you be so full and so empty, at the exact same time? If I had to
describe beauty, I wouldnt speak of the moon-shaped rings under your eyes, so full, almost puffing up in excitement, or the
ruffle of your hair, golden-brown with a reflection of too much sun, and not even of your cheekbones that curved against
your skin - pulling at you, asking for some emotion. In fact, if asked about beauty, I would not speak about you at all. I
would talk about your soul, and how it could make others dance, bursting into a galaxy of emotions with every sway. And
then, I would speak about the words that splashed through your lips, speaking of tales and adventures that only you could
savour, brave and unstoppable, an explorer meant for rough terrains. I would talk about your dance skills, and how you
could swing with your bike in a way that only few could understand, a motion too swift, emerging from somewhere so deep,
a ballet that took you to the brightest of places.
You were an unexpected surprise, the defining moment. The collision of stars that slammed into me hard and sent my neat
little world plummeting into the ocean. I never expected it to be you, you know? But it is you. Its all you. And now theres
no looking back. Everyone I meet along the way, will never be too enough - almost falling short - too ordinary or too blatant.
You set the standards too high. You showed me what beautifully messed up perfectly imperfect was. A relationship should
not be measured in months or years. It's the calibre of the memories that matter. Their impact, their permanence, and the
degree to which they change you. I've had relationships lasting years I can now scarcely recollect, and hours with others that
feel like infinities. You will, always, be my infinity.

Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure. You have been damaged in the most beautiful ways, your pieces an art form
only few can praise, you mind a nest only few can grow in. You, an ocean, only the brave can endeavour, and if, just if,
people would cross the shore and dive into this ocean, this sea full of waves and storms, and you, they would see a beauty
that would ache the soul. I have crossed that ocean. I have seen the sea, and the moon, and it is a heart wrenching pain that I
will always carry. You are a symphony, so sad, so painful, yet so beautiful - a melody most cant get enough of.
Most days, I regret how I lost you. And how I lost myself. I yearn for those times to come back. Some days, I only wish I
could forget you. Your soul is a beauty that cracks open my heart, feeding it pain and light, emotion and freedom. You are
too much, too full of life, a flood - terrifying and mighty. Water can heal, and break, and that is you.

The most beautiful people I have ever met are the ones who always see life in full colour. They are the ones who have been
through hell and back and still stop to savour the parts of life that many seldom pay attention to. They will always use their
past experiences as a guiding light to bring forth a more authentic way of life. These are the people I admire most because no
matter how much they have suffered, they will always find a reason to make the best of this imperfect world.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things
that youve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share
hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has
thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you cant wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your
excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of
yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and
show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or
competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think
of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk
become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so
clear and vivid its like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where
before it was infrequent or didnt exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long days work
and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, theres no need for continuous conversation, but you find youre
quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they
are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do.
Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your
heart knowing that theres a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that
you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure thats so
real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the
end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a
part of your life.

You changed me, Aditya. I do not know for the better or the worse, for good or for bad. But Im different now. Things seem
harder without you on most days. Theres so much I still have to stay, and I wish I could. I wish. I know this wasnt exactly
what you were hoping for - and this isnt even an analysis, but I guess we could say - this is an okay start? With time, I could
write better about you I hope. Less vague, maybe? For all I know, writing this has been very difficult. Thank you for being
my friend, my protector, my harbour, my everything - all along. Youve given me infinity in a little time, and I guess thats
enough. At least for now. Keep going.

Home is not where you are from, it is where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others, find it in a
person. Thank you for being my home.

love & laughter,

afreen.