MODULE IV

NEED AND IMPORTANCE OF EMOTIONS

Emotion is Energy-in-Motion.

It is a way of expressing oneself in life.

It is the quality of how one relates to life.
It helps us with understanding of others

POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.

The emotions expressed by humans can be divided into two broad

categories. We can regard them as polarized, as opposite of each
other, or we could just say that there is a dividing line where one type
of emotions change into the other type of emotions.

We can call the two types of emotions Negative and Positive. That is
not so much as value judgment as it is a description of the main
action of each group. Judging either as "good" or "bad" isn't very
helpful.

Negative emotions express an attempt or intention to Exclude.

Strengthening one's own position at the expense of others. Keeping
bad stuff away, destroying what is perceived as a threat. Negative
emotions are fueled by an underlying fear of the unknown, a fear of
the actions of others, and a need to control them or stop them to
avoid being harmed.

Positive emotions express an attempt or an intention to Include.

Taking the whole into consideration. Working on learning more
viewpoints, interacting more with others, enjoying making things
better. Positive emotions are fueled by an underlying desire for
enjoyment and unity.

Negative emotions are, for example: apathy, grief, fear, hatred,

shame, blame, regret, resentment, anger, hostility.

Positive emotions are, for example: interest, enthusiasm, boredom,

laughter, empathy, action, curiosity.
There is a range of different emotions in each category. We could say
that some are more positive or negative than others. But it isn't
necessarily practical to place them on a linear scale, since each one
is a composite of various elements.

Some emotions camouflage as positive or negative, but really are the

opposite of what they pretend. There is a type of pity which appears
as genuine concern for others, but which is rather taking comfort in
that somebody else is worse off than you. There is a covert hostility
that masks as friendliness, which can often be difficult to assess at
first. Likewise, some kinds of anger or tears might look negative, but
might really be an expression of involvement and care for the whole.
It is the underlying mechanism and motivation that counts, more than
the superficial outward manifestation.

It might sound like the negative emotions are just something to get rid
of. It is not that simple, however. They serve important functions.
Basically they show that there is something one doesn't know and
can't deal with. If that becomes motivation to then learn it and deal
with it, that is very useful. If one is always joyful, one might miss
noticing things that are wrong.

ANGER: CONCEPTUALIZATION AND CYCLE

Anger is an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of

having been offended, overpowered, wronged or denied and a
tendency to react through retaliation. The external expression of
anger can be found in facial expressions, body language,
physiological responses, and at times in public acts of aggression
Humans and animals for example make loud sounds, attempt to look
physically larger, bare their teeth, and stare. The behaviors
associated with anger are designed to warn aggressors to stop their
threatening behavior. Rarely does a physical altercation occur without
the prior expression of anger by at least one of the participants. While
most of those who experience anger explain its arousal as a result of
"what has happened to them," psychologists point out that an angry
person can very well be mistaken because anger causes a loss in
self-monitoring capacity and objective observability.

Passive anger
Causes

Unreasonable expectation

Frustration

Failures

Injustice

People feel angry when they sense that they or someone they care
about has been offended, when they are certain about the nature and
cause of the angering event, when they are certain someone else is
responsible, and when they feel they can still influence the situation
or cope with it.[23] For instance, if a person's car is damaged, they will
feel angry if someone else did it (e.g. another driver rear-ended it),
but will feel sadness instead if it was caused by situational forces
(e.g. a hailstorm) or guilt and shame if they were personally
responsible (e.g. he crashed into a wall out of momentary
carelessness).

Ways of handling anger

Acting out
Displacement

Dumping out

Developing interpersonal competence

Getting along with other people is one of the most important things
we can do. If we have harmony with our family, friends and work
colleagues; it will make life much more peaceful and enjoyable.
Despite the importance of cultivating harmony in relationships, often it
is something that we do not pay enough attention to. These
suggestions can help create more harmony in our lives and
relationships with others.

1. Appreciate the good qualities of others. When we sincerely

appreciate and admire good things about other people we create
tremendous positive energy in our relationships. When we appreciate
good qualities of others it prevents any thoughts of jealousy or envy.
Also we can feel a part of their achievements. And most importantly
our friends and colleagues will definitely welcome sincere
appreciation.

2. Avoid Negative Thoughts If we harbour negative thoughts about

other people subconsciously they will pick up on it. They may not be
able to read our minds but they will get an unwelcoming vibration.

3. Talk. If we feel upset at the actions of others often we feel like

maintaining a haughty silence. However inwardly we are upset.
However it always better to talk as this forces away the negative
thoughts. Often through talking we realize things are not as bad as
we feared. (But avoid talking in anger)

4. Smile. The power of a genuine smile cannot be underestimated.

Immediately it conveys a positive energy, often it is more expressive
than innumerable words and much easier! Scientists say that smiling
can help our own state of mind. When we smile it wipes away many
harmful emotions.

5. Maintain a forgiving attitude. Every body makes mistakes and acts

in a way that could give grounds for criticism. Unfortunately it is in the
nature of the human mind to look for others faults. However if we
maintain an attitude of forgiveness then we will not be burdened by
the negativity of criticizing each other. It is good to maintain an
attitude of; "that is a mistake I could easily have made myself." This
approach require an attitude of humility but it is essential for avoiding
disharmony. As Sri Chinmoy says on the importance of harmony.

"To keep harmony when you are dealing with other individuals, do not
use your justice-light. Forget about justice! There is no justice on
earth. Only think of wisdom-light. Always be as humble as possible."
6. Do enjoyable things together. If your relationships are always very
serious it is likely to be quite strained. If we can enjoy light hearted
humor and do something fun, it will provide great mental relaxation
and enable our relationships to become much more harmonious.

7. Avoid feelings of supremacy. When we harbor feelings of

supremacy and feel that we are better than other people, it means
that our ego has come to the fore. This will create disharmony
because people dislike dealing with strong egos. We should maintain
always the feeling of humility